CorkNBottle group in Cleveland, OH
Powerless
over
alcohol
and
that
our
lives
have
become
unlikely
too.
Can
you
believe
that
power
greater
than
ourselves
could
restore
us
to
sanity?
3
Made
a
decision
to
turn
our
will
and
our
lives
over
to
the
care
of
God
as
we
understood
it.
Four.
Made
a
searching
and
fearless
moral
inventory
of
ourselves.
5
Admitted
to
God,
to
ourselves,
and
to
another
human
being
the
exact
nature
of
our
life.
Six.
We're
entirely
ready
to
have
God
remove
all
these
defects
of
characters,
so
humbly
ask
them
to
remove
our
shortcomings.
They
made
a
list
of
all
persons
we
have
earned
and
became
willing
to
make
a
lunch
to
them.
All
nine
made
direct
amends
to
such
people
wherever
possible,
except
for
me.
To
do
so
would
injure
them
or
others.
10
continue
to
take
personal
inventory
and
when
we
were
wrong
currently
admitted.
11
sought
a
prayer
meditation
to
improve
our
conscious
contact
with
God
as
we
understood
Him,
praying
only
for
knowledge
of
Israel
for
us
and
the
power
to
carry
that
out.
12
Having
had
a
spiritual
awakening
as
a
result
of
these
steps,
we
tried
to
message
Alcoholics
into
practices,
principles,
and
all
of
our
players.
Hi,
my
name
is
Mike.
Got
that
wrong.
I've
learned
everybody's
maintenance.
Oh
my
God,
I
don't
know.
So
my
name
is
alcoholic.
These
are
the
12
traditions
of
Alcoholics
Anatomist
number
one
our
comment
welfare
should
come
first
personal
recovery
depends
upon
a
a
unity
#2
for
our
group
purpose.
There's
one
ultimate
authority
loving
God
as
he
may
express
himself
in
our
group
of
conscious
our
leaders,
our
blood
trusted
servants.
They
do
not
govern
agree.
The
only
requirement
for
a
a
membership
is
desired
desire
to
stop
drinking
and
before
each
group
should
be
autonomous.
I
accept
that
that
is
the
other
groups
or
a
A
as
a
whole
#5
each
group
has
about
one
primary
purpose,
carrying
specials
to
the
alcoholic
who
still
suffers.
Six
in
a
A
groups
never
endorsed
finance
or
lenders
related
facility
or
outside
enterprise.
Less
problems
with
money,
property
and
prestige.
Divers
from
our
primary
purpose
#7.
Every
eighty
group
ought
to
be
fully
sold
according
landing
outside
the
country
institutions
#8.
Alcoholics
and
average
should
remain
forever.
Not
professional,
but
I
certainly
employ
special
workers
and
#9
a
as
such
ought
ever
be
organized,
but
we
may
bring
service
boards
or
committees
directly
responsible
to
those
they
serve
#10AA
has
no
opinion
on
outside
issues,
hence
the
A
a
name
a
lot
never
be
drawn
into
public
controversy.
11
A
public
relations
policy
is
based
on
attraction
rather
than
promotion.
We
always
maintain
personal
virtual
foundation
of
our
traditions,
and
we're
reminding
us
the
place
principles
before
personalities
remember
that
are
perfect.
That's
why
we're
here.
And
yeah,
especially
me.
Thank
you
very
much
Scott
and
Mike
and
doing
the
reading
now.
OK,
I
think
I
got
the
street
now.
I'll
introduce
the
speaker
and
his
this
man
is
wonderfully
I
heard
sleep
and
his
name
is
Todd
Marriage
and
he
gave
a
wonderful
presentation
when
I
heard
him
over
at
Parma
Saturday
about
a
month
and
1/2
or
so.
It's
going
to
be
your
home.
Newberg
Newburgh
Newberg
Newburgh
Newberg.
This
is
homeproof.
Now
without
any
further
ado
for
me,
I'd
like
to
introduce.
Thank
you.
Hi
everybody.
My
name
is
Todd
Marriage.
I'm
an
alcoholic.
Join
me
in
the
serenity
prayer.
Please
God,
grant
me
the
serenity
to
accept
the
things
I
cannot
change,
the
courage
to
change
the
things
I
can,
and
the
wisdom
to
know
the
difference.
God,
let
me
be
useful.
Amen.
Thank
you
very
much
for
having
me.
I,
I
got
to
tell
you
everything
good
in
my
life
comes
because
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
advanced
grace,
the
presidents
and
a
relationship
because
of
God
and
with
God.
And
it
didn't
used
to
be
like
that.
Alcoholics
Anonymous
has
provided
me
the
opportunity
to
get
to
know
a
God,
to
get
me
to
understand
an
opportunity
and
to
have
a
relationship
with
God.
And
I
understand,
understand
and
to
believe
in
and
to
have
faith
in
gratitude.
And
gratitude
is
an
action
word.
I've
been
doing
this
since
1993.
My
sobriety
date
is
February
29th
of
2000.
You
do
the
math.
Obviously
I'm
not
very
good
at
it
and
I
don't
know
much,
but
I
do
know
this
this
thing
works.
And
one
of
the
biggest
things
that
I
know
about
how
this
works
is
I
don't
do
it
alone.
And
it
took
me
an
awful
long
time
to
figure
that
out.
And
I
figured
I
figured
that
out
by
making
mistakes.
Alcoholics
Anonymous
has
provided
me
the
opportunity
to
see
an
awful
lot
and
it's
been
an
awful
lot
of
opportunities
from
my
Home
group
Newburgh
to
meet
some
amazing
people
who
have
provided
me
some
great
examples
to
learn
to
listen
with
my
eyes.
There
is
a
gentleman
in
my
Home
group
who
we
used
to
always
say,
listen
with
your
eyes.
And
I
used
to
think,
what's
he
talking
about?
You
know,
and
Alcoholics
Anonymous
is
full
of
all
those
kinds
of
sayings.
You
know,
you
go
to
a
meeting
and
you
see
all
those
fancy
little
sayings
on
the
wall.
Think,
think,
think.
One
day
at
a
time,
this
too
shall
pass.
And
I'm
like,
what
are
they
talking
about?
And
I
didn't
get
it.
And
I,
I
didn't
understand
it.
And
I
had
a
buddy
of
mine
in
my
life
back
then,
and
I
used
to
go,
what's
that
mean?
You
know,
And
he'd
say
listen
with
your
eyes
and,
you
know,
and
he
used
to
say
if
you
stayed
around
long
enough,
you'd
meet
people
who
were
genuinely
concerned
with
your
well-being.
And
that
person
was
Lee
Perkins.
And
Lee
Perkins
was
my
sponsor.
And
Lee
Perkins
was
the
most
genuinely
kind
gentleman
I
had
ever
known
in
my
entire
life.
One
of
the
sweetest,
kindest
men
I,
I,
I
have
ever
known.
He
died
with
such
dignity.
He
lived
with
such
dignity.
He
had
the
steps
in
every
part
of
his
life.
He
was
married
for
a
very
long
time
and
I
had
the
privilege
of
being
in
his
home
very
many
times
and
he
died
on
my
birthday
in
December
of
99.
And
I
always
say
that
Lee
died
on
my
birthday
on
purpose.
I
would
go
to
the
hospital
every
single
day
and
I
would
sit
with
him
and
I
would
cry
and
cry
and
cry.
And
Lee
would
look
at
me
and
he
was
dying
of
emphysema
and
he
couldn't
talk.
And
he
would
just
look
at
me
with
those
sober
eyes
and
he
would
just
tell
me
that
it
was
going
to
be
okay.
And
the
morning
of
my
birthday,
December
6th
of
1999,
I
had
a
phone
call
from
a
very
good
friend
who
said
it's
your
birthday,
happy
birthday,
let
me
take
you
out
for
breakfast.
And
I
said,
no,
I've
got
to
get
to
the
hospital.
You
know,
I
know
Lee's
not
going
to
last
much
longer.
And
she
said
it's
an
hour,
let
me
buy
you
breakfast.
And,
you
know,
to
this
very
day,
I
don't
pass
up
free
food.
I
don't,
I
love
to
eat.
And
you
know,
food
for
me
is
not
just
free
food,
but
breaking
bread
with
somebody,
you
know,
in
my
life
is
really
important.
And
Domingo
is
here
tonight
with
me.
And
I
thank
you
for
being
here
and
thank
you
for
being
my
friend.
And
Alcoholics
Anonymous
taught
me
that,
taught
me
how
to
be
a
friend
and
taught
me
what
friendship
is
all
about.
And,
you
know,
I'm
honored
to
have
the
few
friends
that
I
have.
And
we
had
the
chance
tonight
to
break
bread
together.
And,
and
that's
really
special
to
me.
And,
and
so
this
person,
person
took
me
out
to
breakfast
and
I
got
a
call
when
I
got
home,
there
was
a
voicemail
on
my
phone
that
said
don't
go
to
the
hospital,
call
me
before
you
get
to
the
hospital.
And
I
called
Alice
and
Alice
said
Lee
passed
away
40
minutes
ago.
And
I
knew
with
every
fiber
of
my
being
that
he
did
it
on
purpose
because
the
day
before
I
knew
he
was
dying.
And
I
say
he
did
it
on
purpose
because
I
knew
that
if
I
was
at
the
hospital
when
he
died,
I
wouldn't
be
here
today.
And
he
did
it
unselfishly,
not
that
he
did
it
on
purpose,
like
to
hurt
me.
He
did
it
because
he
knew
I
couldn't
handle
it
if
I
was
there.
And
that's
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
man.
That's
the
12
steps
in
action.
You
know,
John
Barrenza
was
a
guy
who
was
in
my
life
for
a
very
long
time
and
another
guy
that
if
you
didn't
know
John,
you'd
think
he
was
an
ogre.
He
was
one
of
those
old
grumpy
a
as
and
and,
you
know,
during
this
time
in
my
life,
I
wasn't
working.
You
know,
I,
I
own
my
own
company
and
you
know,
I
had
a
business
card
that
said
president
and
he
called
me
up
one
day.
He
said,
what
are
you
doing?
I
said
nothing.
He
said,
of
course
not,
you
don't
have
a
job.
And
people
were
scared
of
John,
including
me.
And
he
said,
I
want
you
here
tomorrow
morning,
9:00
with
a
suit
and
tie
on.
I
said,
why?
He
said
because
I
said
so.
I
said,
well,
where
are
we
going?
He
said,
what
do
you
care?
You
got
nothing
going
on
in
your
life.
I
said,
you
got
it.
And,
you
know,
I
thought
about
it
and
I
said
I'll
be
there.
And
there's
so
many
people
who
have
taught
me
just
to
show
up.
And
I
showed
up
that
morning
and
John
Barrenza
took
me
to
a
funeral
for
the
wife
of
an
alcoholic
synonymous
member.
And
I
had
the
privilege
of
being
a
pallbearer
for
somebody
who
I
didn't
even
know.
But
there
was
four
people
at
that
funeral,
and
I
was
one
of
them.
And
I
carried
this
woman's
casket
and
we
buried
her.
And
I
know
the
privilege
and
opportunities
and
honor
that
it's
been
in
my
life
to
be
useful.
And,
you
know,
that's
what
Alcoholics
Anonymous
is
to
me.
Dick
Zublik
always
used
to
tell
me,
be
useful.
And
when
you
got
an
opportunity
to
be
useful,
do
it
and
do
the
little
things,
Todd,
you
know,
And
today,
one
of
the
things
that
I
love
doing
is
picking
up
a
piece
of
paper
as
I'm
walking
along,
picking
up
a
piece
of
trash
and
going,
God
have
mercy
on
those
most
in
need,
and
then
throwing
it
out.
And
that's
what
I
believe
is
Alcoholics
Anonymous
in
action.
And
I
could
spend
47
billion
days
standing
before
you
tonight
and
telling
you
story
after
story
after
story
about
drink
trouble,
drink
trouble,
drink
trouble.
And
my
favorite
drink
was
151
in
Tangaray
gin
mixed
together
and
and
I
do
not
know
anything
about
social
drinking.
I
I
was
telling
the
story
to
my
sons
yesterday.
Domingo,
Matthew
Ryder
and
I
were
out.
I
took
the
boys
to
a
skate
park.
They're
real
into
skateboarding
once
13
ones
11.
And
we
went
to
what
is
that
Lakewood
Park
I
think
it
is.
And
the
boys
wanted
to
go
skateboarding
and
we
all
went
to
lunch
before
they
went
to
the
park.
And
I
had
the
opportunity
and
privilege
to
meet
President
Reagan.
And
it
wasn't
because
I
was
doing
something
right.
I
got
detained
in
China.
I
got
escorted
out
of
the
country.
You
know,
I
hear
people
stand
behind
the
podium
saying
I
got
thrown
out
of
a
bar,
thrown
out
of
a
country
in
1986.
It
was
because
I
was
carrying
top
secret
information
and
2.2
lbs
of
heroin.
So
I
know
drink
trouble
and
my
wife
being
a
lovely
woman
that
she
is,
When
Ryder
a
year
or
so
ago
was
talking
about
how
interested
he
was
in
presidents,
we
were
sitting
and
having
dinner
and
Rider
was
going,
yeah,
you
know
the
president.
They
must
have
been
studying
it
in
school
and
Ryder
said
we
were
learning
about
presidents.
And
you
know,
my
wife
being
the
woman
she
is,
she
says,
honey,
why
don't
you
tell
them
the
story
about
how
you
met
President
Reagan?
And
I
kind
of
slouched
in
my
chair
and
went,
do
I
have
to?
And
I
do.
And
I
did.
And,
and
the
kids
tease
me
about
that.
But,
you
know,
I,
I
stood
in
the
Oval
Office
and
went,
wow,
I
mean,
the
Oval
Office,
I
went
whoops,
oh,
yeah,
not
for
anything
good.
And
so
I
did.
I
got
the
opportunity
to
meet
President
Reagan.
And,
you
know,
as
I
said,
I
could
tell
you
story
after
story
after
story
about
bad
things
and
lots
of
trouble.
But
since,
you
know,
February
29th
of
2000,
I
had
amazingly
wonderful
things
happen,
like
sharing
the
stage
with
Zig
Ziglar.
And,
you
know,
I
travel
all
over
the
country
doing
a
job
that
I'm
amazed
that
I
get
to
do.
I,
I've
sat
at
a
table
with
Zig
Ziglar
and
Rudy
Giuliani
and
Colin
Powell,
who
I
worked
for
in
the
military,
who
came
to
China
to
get
me.
And
I've
been
able
to
make
amends.
And,
you
know,
it's
just
amazing
that
I
do
what
I
do
and
I'm
I'm
able
to
do
it
because
of
Alcoholic's
Anonymous.
Gratitude
is
action.
And
my
life
is
amazing
today.
And,
you
know,
so
I'm
not
going
to
spend
a
lot
of
time
doing
a
drunk
log.
Drinking
caused
an
amazing
amount
of
trouble.
And
we
were
talking
on
the
way
here
about
how
much
stuff
I
gave
away
and
we
were
talking
about
the
choices
that
we
make
and
the
priorities
and,
and,
and
the
mindset
that
we
as
Alcoholics
can
have.
And
I
have
a
funny
little
mind
and
it's
little,
it's
very
little
sometimes.
And,
you
know,
I
choose
to
stay
positive
and
I
wake
up
every
morning
and
say,
God
let
me
be
useful.
And
the
idea
is
that
I,
I
get
up
and
I
heard
it
in
a
lead
one
time
from
somewhere.
And
I
don't
remember
where
it
was,
but
somebody
said
God
wants
to
see
your
prayers,
not
hear
him.
And
I
could
be
a
great
a,
A
for
an
hour,
throw
a
book,
a
buck
in
the
basket
and
walk
out
and
then
go
home
and
beat
my
dog,
you
know,
and
I
don't
even
have
a
dog.
But
you
know,
the
point
is,
what
do
I
do
for
23
1/2
hours
or
22
1/2
hours?
And,
you
know,
for
me,
Alcoholics
Anonymous
is
between
when
I
leave
here
and
when
I
come
back.
And
Alcoholics
Anonymous
and
the
people
that
I've,
you
know,
know
and
have
seen
have
taught
me
how
to
live.
And
when
I
got
to
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
I
didn't
know
anything
about
spiritual
principles
or
values.
I
had
nothing,
you
know,
I
mean,
at
the
age
of
15,
I
slept
in
a
dumpster
for
two
years
and
and
called
it
a
condominium.
I,
I
felt
comfortable
enough
in
my
own
stuff
that
I
had
people
over,
you
know,
hey,
come
on
over
to
my
place.
You
know,
I
lived
in
Harlem,
New
York
in
a
dumpster
and
it
was
OK
with
me.
Today,
I
happen
to
live
in
Westlake
and
you
know,
I
have
a
home
and
it's
a
home.
When
I
was
growing
up,
I
didn't
have
a
home.
I
lived
in
foster
homes
or
houses,
and
I
never
invited
anybody
over
my
house
because
I
was
always
afraid
of
what
was
going
to
happen.
I
never
knew
what
was
going
to
happen.
And
there
was
no
stability
in
my
life.
And
I
was
always,
you
know,
a
scared
little
kid
and
I
don't
live
in
fear
of
anything
anymore.
I
do
get
afraid.
I,
I
remember
when
I
sat
with
all
of
those
people,
I
was
in
Dallas,
TX
and
I,
I
was
introduced
to
Zig
Ziglar,
who
one
of
my
heroes
and
I
went
wow.
And
this
little
thing
inside
of
me
went,
oh,
I'm
this
little
kid.
What
am
I
doing
here?
Like
I
didn't
deserve
it.
And
God
wants
us
to
have
all
of
the
wonderful
things
in
our
life
that
we
want.
And
that
scared
little
kid
started
to
come
out
and
I
went,
oh,
I
don't
belong
here.
And
I
went,
yeah,
I
do.
Wait
a
minute,
yes
I
do.
If
God
wants
me
to
be
here,
I
have
to
find
a
reason
to
be
here
and
to
be
useful
here.
And
it
was
Ziggs
80th
birthday
and
I
turned
to
my
one
of
my
mentors
and
I
see
Jim,
what
am
I
doing
here?
He
said
you
belong
here
just
like
everybody
else
cuz
Jim
knows
me
very
well
and
knows
my
story.
And
I
went,
what
do
I
have
to
offer?
And
he
said,
Todd,
you're
just
like
the
rest
of
us.
Quit
giving
yourself
a
hard
time
for
that
man.
Let
that
stuff
go.
I
said,
I
struggle
with
that.
He
said,
you
know
what,
God's
forgiven
you.
You've
changed
the
way
you
live
and
you
got
to
learn
to
let
that
go.
And
Zig
came
over
and
he
said.
Why
are
you
beating
yourself
up?
And
I
went,
you
know,
I
guess
there's
just
times
where
I
feel
like
I
don't
fit
in
still.
But
you're
just
one
of
us.
We're
all
God's
children.
And
it
was
really
cool
because
here
I
am
amongst
all
these
people
that
I
don't
feel
like
I
fit
in,
and
yet
I'm
just
like
the
rest.
And
so
even
a
few
years
sober,
it's
human
nature
for
us
to
find
ourselves
in
situations
where
we
get
to
that
place
where
we
don't
feel
like
we
fit
in.
And
Jim,
who's
not
in
a
A
said,
you
know
what,
Todd?
The
very
first
time
I
met
Zig
Ziglar,
I
didn't
feel
like
I
fit
in
and
I
went,
oh,
he
said.
It's
human
nature,
and
that
was
interesting
because
I
thought
it
was
just
an
alcoholic
kind
of
thing.
And
I
think
it
isn't.
And
I
used
to
always
think
it
was
and
it
kept
me
different.
And
my,
my
grand
sponsor
told
me
one
time
he
said,
you
know,
we
have
to
find
ways
to
fit
in.
We
have
to
find
ways
to
identify.
And
if
we
can
go
to
a
meeting
and
we
can
sit
there
and
we
can
look
at
all
those
things
that
are
different,
or
we
can
choose
to
find
all
those
things
that
are
the
same.
And
since
that,
the
paradigm
shift
for
me
has
become
everywhere
I
go,
I
look
for
things
that
are
the
same
and
look
for
similarities
instead
of
things
that
are
different.
And
I'm
comfortable
anywhere
I
go.
I
find
things
that
make
me
comfortable
or
similar
instead
of
being
there
going,
oh,
I'm
not
like
you.
Oh,
we're
not
the
same.
Yes,
we
are.
You
know,
I'm
not
a
woman
alcoholic,
but
yet
we
feel
the
same.
We've
been
through
the
same
stuff
and
and
I
remember
from
93
to
2000,
everywhere
I
went
I
was
like,
oh,
that's
not
me,
that's
not
me.
Oh,
I
never
did
that.
And
no
wonder.
I
was
always
uncomfortable
and
my
life
is
completely
different
and
the
biggest
thing
that
happened
for
me
that
made
it
different
was
that
in
99
when
Lee
died,
right
around
that
time
I
was
going
through
bankruptcy.
I
had
started
buying
houses
and
investing
in
real
estate
without
really
knowing
what
I
was
doing
and
I
turned
to
my
sponsor,
my
Co
sponsor,
who's
my
sponsor
now?
And
Paul
Geddick,
a
member
of
new,
the
Newburgh
Group,
his
stories
in
the
4th
edition
of
the
big
book,
they
named
it
Gutter
Bravado,
which
I
love.
You
know,
here
I
am
laying
in
the
gutter.
But
man,
I'm
good,
I'm
okay.
I
get
that,
you
know,
I
get
that.
And
Paul
is
just
an
absolutely
amazing
guy.
He
turned
to
me
and
he
said,
you
know
what?
And
you're
gonna
have
to
risk
it,
I
said.
Paul.
I'm
scared
to
death,
man.
And
I
know
that
I'm
gonna
die.
If
I
drink
anymore,
I'm
gonna
die.
He
said,
you're
gonna
have
to
risk
trust
in
somebody,
and
if
you
don't,
you're
gonna
die.
I
said,
well,
I'm
sitting
here
talking
to
you,
and
I
know
that
if
I
don't
trust
you,
I'm
gonna
die.
And
he
said,
Todd,
I
had
to
do
it
with
Tim.
You're
gonna
have
to
do
it
with
me.
And
if
you
don't
do
it,
you're
gonna
die.
And
I
said,
well,
OK,
I'm
willing
to
do
it,
but
if
you
hurt
me,
I'll
kill
you
because
that's
just
how
scared
I
was,
He
said.
Don't
you
think
I
felt
like
you?
I
said,
that's
easy
for
you
to
say.
You're
10
years
sober,
you
know,
and
you
get,
you
guys
always
do
that
to
the
new
guy.
I
know
that
trick,
he
said.
It's
not
a
trick.
Tim
reached
out
for
me.
I'm
reaching
out
for
you.
I
said
OK,
I'll
risk
it,
but
if
you
hurt
me,
I'll
kill
you.
And
I,
you
know,
I
don't.
I
couldn't
hurt
anybody
probably,
but
I
was
scared
enough
and
I
risked
it.
And
he
turned
to
me
and
he,
he
said
it
so
sincerely.
It
just
kind
of
reached
right
through
all
that
fear.
And
he
said
true
trust
is
a
must.
And
I
don't
know
how
many
times
I've
heard
those
little
funny
sayings,
but
that
one
night
it
just
walked
right
through
all
the
fear,
right
through
all
those,
you
know,
pride
or
false
pride
and
all
of
those
things
right
to
my
soul.
And
it
was
like
he
just
reached
his
hand
out
and
he
said
we
do
this
together.
And
from
that
day
that
it
is,
I've
allowed
him
to
get
to
know
the
real
me.
Because
up
to
that
point,
it
was
if
you
find
out
who
I
am,
you'll
kick
me
out.
I've
been
kicked
out
of
some
amazing
places
and
I've
always
been
afraid
deep
inside
myself.
It
was
always
about
you
were
gonna
kick
me
out.
If
you
get
to
know
who
I
really
am,
you're
not
gonna
like
me.
And
I
want
you
to
like
me.
I
want
you
to
accept
me
and
I'm
scared.
It's
that
scared
little
kid
who
grew
up
to
be
a
scared
little
kid
and
my
life's
become
an
amazing
and
an
amazing
journey.
And
the
fact
that
I
can
stand
here
and
be
honest
with
you
is
an
amazing
result
of
God's
grace.
The
fact
that
I've
been
able
to
work
steps
into
my
life
on
a
daily
basis
and
be
able
to
live
according
to
spiritual
principles
and
have
values
in
my
life
is
an
amazing
result
of
somebody's
willingness
to
look
me
in
the
eye
and
say
you're
safe.
The
fact
that
somebody's
been
able
to
share
values
with
me
and
show
me
values
and
say
you
can
have
these
two
is
a
gift.
I
was
listening
to
Bill
Wilson's
leave
earlier
today
and
it
was
the
day
that
Doctor
Bob
died.
And
the
fact
that
2
drunks
gave
us
this
and
the
opportunity
for
one
drunk
to
help
another
and
say
you
don't
have
to
do
this
alone
and
that
we
can
do
this
together
and
we
never
have
to
be
alone.
And
that
the
message
that
they
share
with
us
is,
if
you
trust
me
enough
to
place
your
heart
in
my
hands,
I
will
never
violate
that
trust.
And
we
can
walk
together
and
get
well
and
grow
and
have
an
amazing
life
because
it's
so
much
more
than
don't
drink
and
go
to
meetings.
And
we
can
do
an
amazing
thing
by
sharing
that
with
others.
I
mean,
there's
millions
of
people
that
are
sober.
I've
had
the
privilege
of
traveling
all
over
the
world
sober
and
see
amazing
things
and
hear
amazing
stories,
and
every
time
I
get
to
do
that,
I
get
more
grateful
and
then
I
have
more
responsibility
to
do
more.
You
know,
I
heard
it.
Newburgh,
IO.
I
owe
big
time
and
the
more
I
get,
the
more
I
have
to
give.
And
Lee
always
used
to
say
the
harder
I
work,
the
luckier
I
get.
And
I
am
a
pretty
lucky
guy.
It's
been
hard
work
and
I've
worked
pretty
hard
to
get
where
I
am
and
I,
I
understand
that
every
day
it
starts
over.
I
have
a
wonderful
family
and
I
never
had
a
family,
You
know,
I'm,
I'm
Mother,
Mother
Teresa
is
one
of
my
idols
because
she
worked
with
throwaways,
man.
She
worked
with
the
dredges
of
society.
And
I
really
identify
with
that,
I
guess.
And
she
said
in
one
of
her
quotes.
And
I
love
quotes
because
they're
like
one
liners
and
that's
about
as
good
as
I
get
in
regards
to
remembrance
stuff.
You
know,
I
got
a
little
brain
and
she
said
I
can't
do
what
you
can
do.
You
can't
do
what
I
can
do.
But
together
we
can
do
great
things.
And
that's
a
A
to
me.
And
the
greatest
joy
in
my
life
is
being
able
to
help
another
drunk
and
to
work
with
somebody
and
build
a
relationship
and
a
friendship.
And
the
greatest
joy
I
have
is
the
fact
that
my
greatest
weakness
has
become
my
greatest
strength.
The
fact
that
I'm
an
alcoholic
has
become
the
greatest
strength
I
have.
When
I
was
a
little
kid,
I
wanted
to
grow
up
to
be
Howard
Hughes.
And
the
reason
I
wanted
to
be
Howard
Hughes
was
because
he
was
wealthy
enough
to
hide,
and
I
was
a
scared
little
kid
who
wanted
to
be
a
recluse.
And
today,
I
stand
before
you,
completely
unafraid
of
letting
you
in.
You
know,
completely
comfortable
in
my
own
skin
and
completely
unashamed
of
who
I
am
or
where
I've
been
or
what
I've
done.
And
that's
because
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous
in
the
12
steps
that
are
active
in
my
life.
You
know,
if
you
want
to
know
if
I'm
a
good
a,
a
ask
my
friends,
call
my
wife.
And
today
would
be
a
good
day
to
call
her.
You
know,
today
was
a
pretty
good
day.
You
know,
and
that's
just
me
being
able
to
be
honest
because,
you
know,
yesterday
wasn't
really
a
great
day.
And
then,
you
know,
today
wasn't
a
great
day
either.
I
had
to
make
amends
right?
At
dinner.
I
snapped
at
her
because
she
put
some
papers
away.
I
was
looking
for
a
poem
that
I
wanted
to
share
with
you.
And,
you
know,
she
has
a
habit
of
putting
things
for
me.
And
it's
like,
why
did
you
touch
my
stuff?
Well,
you
left
it
out.
No,
I
left
it
out
so
I
could
find
it
because
I
never
remember
where
I
put
stuff,
you
know?
And
I
was
thinking
about
my
lead,
as
I
always
do,
which
is
silly.
But
biggest
message
I
have
for
anybody
that
I
ever
want
to
share
anything
with
is
love,
you
know,
and
gratitude.
I
used
to
stand
up
and
talk
about
all
my
escapades
and
all
I
did.
It's
just
so
unnecessary
for
me
today.
Not
that
I
haven't.
Believe
me
boy,
you
know
my
heart
is
so
full
and
my
life
is
so
full.
I
love
Alcoholics
Anonymous
and
and
I
love
the
fact
that
they
gave
a
guy
like
me
an
opportunity.
You
guys
kept
the
doors
open
for
a
guy
like
me
to
come
here
and
get
a
shot.
And
you
know,
I
told
you
the
math
isn't
great.
I've
been
coming
here
since
93
and
I'm
only
7
years
sober.
So
when
I
came
back
in
here,
I
sat
in
rooms
like
this
loaded.
You
guys
just
said
keep
coming
back,
it's
OK.
I,
I
remember
sitting
at
the
straight
up
group
with
Stella
Maris
throwing
up
on
myself
in
the
middle
of
the
meeting
and
people
just
looked
at
me.
I
I-11
lady,
I
remember
she,
she
spent
the
whole
meeting
shooting
spitballs
at
me
while
I
was
throwing
up
on
myself.
And
then
I
stood
up
at
the
end
of
the
meeting
like
I
had
something
really
profound
to
say,
like
I
didn't
say
enough
just
by
sitting
there
throwing
up
A
and
she
don't
end
up
like
me.
You
know
what
a
great
example
that
it
was
already.
But
you
know,
I
had
a,
you
know,
be
profound
and
say
don't
end
up
like
me.
I
heard
a
leave
by
a
guy
by
the
name
of
Lloyd
E
from
right
outside
of
Schenectady,
NY.
He
and
they
called
him
Indian
Joe
Great
lead
tape
I
heard
and
he
used
to
say
for
true,
for
true
beyond
your
wildest
dreams.
The
best
is
yet
to
come.
And
I'm
a
professional
mentor
and
speaker
by
trade.
And
I
was
in
Atlanta
just
a
couple
weeks
ago
teaching
a
pastor
and
his
wife
about
real
estate.
And
I
went
to
church
on
a
Sunday
with
them,
and
the
pastor's
wife
sang
this
song
about
beyond
your
wildest
dreams.
The
best
is
young
yes
to
come.
And
it's
a
hymn.
And
I
stood
in
that
Mass
and
I
cried
like
a
baby
and
I
just
felt
the
presence
of
God
in
my
life.
And
that
song
just
moved
me
to
tears.
And
all
I
could
think
about
was
Alcoholics
Anonymous
and
God
in
my
life.
And
the
fact
that
as
good
as
I
have
it,
I
know
that
sobriety
is
the
most
important
thing
in
my
life
and
that
you
people
gave
me
the
opportunity
to
be
standing
in
that
church
in
Atlanta
sober,
helping
a
man
of
God
better
his
life.
And
that
Roy
D's
message
is
in
my
ear
as
she's
singing.
And
it
was
funny
because
we
had
talked
about
that
song
and
that
saying
before
the
mass
and
she
was
singing
and
she
pointed
at
me
and,
and
I'd
never
been
in
a
church
where
somebody
sang
and
pointed
at
me
like
she
was
saying,
this
is
for
you
and,
and
just
how
God
worked
that
day.
And
I'm
thinking,
thank
you,
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
Thank
you,
God,
and
thank
you
guys.
I
have
it
so
good.
My
life
is
really
full
and
there
have
been
so
many
people
like
Tommy
Cusick.
When
I
relapsed
and
I
came
back
to
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
I
came
back
to
Newburgh.
Tommy
Cusick
was
a
guy
who
had
a
a
great
ponytail
down
to
his
waist
in
wore
leather
jacket
and
hung
out
with
new
new
kids.
You
know,
he
was
sixty
or
seven
years
old,
a
hippie
and
he
had
these
crystal
clear
blue
eyes.
Joy
go,
but
grabbed
me
and
brought
me
right
to
Tommy
and
said
he
can't
stay
sober.
I
was
like,
oh
great.
Thanks
a
lot.
You
know,
I
like,
I
need
this.
And
I
thought
I
was
going
to
get
a
lecture
and
get
kicked
out.
And
Tommy
grabbed
me
and
he
looked
me
right
in
the
eye
and
he
said,
Todd,
what's
the
matter?
And
I
was
like,
shocked
that
he
even
knew
my
name.
And
I
said,
Tommy,
I
can't
stay
sober.
I
don't
know
what's
wrong.
And
he
held
me
by
the
hand
and
he
looked
me
right
in
the
eye.
And
he
had
those
eyes
that
you
knew
he
loved
you
and
he
cared.
And
that's
kind
of
different
in
my
life.
And
I
said,
I
don't
know,
he
should
pray
for
clarity.
And
I
went
home
that
night
and
I
got
on
my
knees
and
I
said,
God,
Tommy
Cusick,
and
you
were
tight.
And
he
told
me
to
pray
for
clarity.
I
don't
know
what
it
means.
I
don't
know
what
it's
supposed
to
do.
But
if
if
he's
got
it
and
he
got
it
from
you,
I
want
it
and
I
want
it
now.
And
you
better
give
it
to
me
because
I
want
what
he
has.
And
I
went
right
back
to
him
the
next
week
and
I
said
he
didn't
give
it
to
me
and
I
want
it
and
I
gotta
have
it.
I
gotta
stay
sober.
He's
did
you
stay
sober
this
week?
And
I
said,
Yep.
He
said,
well
then
you
got
it.
And,
and
you
know,
I
had
people
in
my
life
regularly
giving
me
little
things
like
that.
And
I
continue
to
have
people
in
my
life
like
that.
And
the
best
thing
in
my
life
today
is
the
first
word
in
the
first
step,
and
that's
we.
And
I
had
it
before
I
even
understood
what
it
was.
And
the
biggest
responsibility
in
my
life
today
is
to
do
that
for
somebody
else.
And
I,
I
pray
every
day
that
I
live
up
to
that
responsibility.
That
is
the
most
important
thing
in
my
life
today
is
to
be
available
and
to
be
useful
just
a
little
bit
every
day,
because
I
I
want
to
read
a
couple
of
things
to
you.
One
opens
the
inner
doors
of
ones
heart
to
the
infinite
silences
of
the
spirit
out
of
whose
abyss
is
love
wells
up
without
fail
and
gives
itself
to
all.
And
that's
why
Thomas
Merton.
And
if
you're
not
familiar
with
Thomas
Merton,
you
should
be
wonderful
writers
who
Doctor
Bob
and
Bill
Wilson
were
very
familiar
with.
Direct
your
eyes
right
inward
and
you'll
find
1000
regions
in
your
mind
yet
undiscovered.
Travel
them
and
be
expert
in
home
cosmography
and
that's
Henry
Henry
David
Thoreau.
The
life
we
want
is
not
merely
the
one
we
have
chosen
and
made.
It
is
the
one
we
must
choose,
must
be
choosing
and
making.
It's
one
of
my
favorite
quotes
and
that's
Wendell
Berry
because
this
is
a
daily
thing
and
every
day
we
need
to
be
making
right
choices
and
right
decisions.
And
it's
something
that
I
constantly
take
a
look
at
my
sobriety
and
my
recovery
is
based
on
good
choices.
And
it's
something
that
I
look
at
the
10th
step
every
day.
You
know,
my
inventory
is,
is
based
on
taking
a
look
at
what
I
did,
you
know,
86
and
87.
Who
did
I
hurt
today?
And
if
I'm
blessed
enough
to
be
looking
at
that
on
a
regular
basis
and
I
need
to,
am
I
making
good
choices?
And
if
I
make
good
choices,
I
get
good
results.
If
I
make
bad
choices,
I
get
consequences.
Consequences
are
really
painful.
You
know,
I
got
here
because
my
best
thinking
at
that
point
got
me
here.
I
my
thinking
has
changed
because
I
was
able
to
trust
someone
enough
to
help
me
understand
that
my
thinking
was
not
good.
And
today,
with
the
input
of
others,
my
thinking
is
changing.
This
is
another
one
that
I
really
enjoy.
Know
your
limits.
Not
so
that
you
can
honor
them,
but
so
that
you
can
smash
them
to
pieces
and
reach
for
magnificence.
And
this
is
Tony
Robbins.
You've
probably
seen
him
on
TV.
I've
had
the
privilege
of
meeting
him
and
he's
a
guy
who
talks
about
growing
and
his
personal
achievement
and
those
kinds
of
things.
And
I,
and
it's
part
of
what
I
do
in
my
life
today,
is
work.
Life
is
a
gift,
and
it
offers
us
the
privilege,
opportunity
and
responsibility
to
give
back
by
becoming
more.
It's
Anthony
Robbins.
And
then
finally,
I'm
going
to
close
with
this.
I
am
a
seeker
of
truth
on
a
spiritual
journey.
I
have
deep
things
to
learn.
May
I
learn
them
honorably.
I
have
good
things
to
offer.
May
Ioffer
them
generously.
I
am
where
I
need
to
be.
I
am
doing
what
I
need
to
be
doing.
May
I
be
a
simple,
humble,
kind
presence
on
the
earth
today.
May
my
actions
today
reflect
my
deepest
beliefs.
May
I
be
grateful
to
those
who
came
before
me
and
may
I
make
the
road
smoother
for
those
who
will
try
to
travel
them
after
me.
My
life
is
what
it
is
because
of
those
who
have
come
before
me
and
open
the
doors
and
I'm
they
provided
me
the
opportunity
to
stand
before
you.
I
would
not
be
here
if
it
was
not
for
those
of
you
that
have
been
here
before
me
and
allowed
me
the
opportunity
to
reach
up
and
have
somebody
reach
into
the
gutter
and
offer
me
a
hand.
I
cannot
thank
you
enough
except
to
reach
back,
reach
down,
grab
somebody
and
offer
them
a
hand.
Gratitude
is
an
action
and
I
pray
everyday
that
I
do
what
I
am
responsible
to
do
and
that's
all
for
a
hand
to
somebody
else.
I
am
so
grateful
that
you
guys
have
allowed
me
the
opportunity
and
privilege
to
stand
before
you
and
be
myself.
And
I
am,
and
I
thank
God
and
I
thank
you
for
allowing
me
the
privilege
to
share
who
I
am
openly
and
honestly.
And
I
thank
you
for
that.
Let's
close
with
the
words.
Our
Father.
Hallowed
be
thy
name.
Thy
Kingdom
comes,
Thy
will
be
done.
I'm
very
pleasure.
Give
us
a
day,
Our
Daily
Bread,
and
forgive
us
our
trespasses.
So
we
forgive
those
to
trespass
against
us,
and
lead
us
not
to
temptations,
but
deliver
us
from
evil.
The
Thy
who's
the
Kingdom,
the
power
and
the
glory
forever
and
got
it.
I'll
wait
for
you
breakdown
all
that,
I'm
sorry.