Workshop titled "The Big Book experience" in Dundee, Scotland
one
my
name's
Bob
their
own
I'm
an
alcoholic
would
you
indulge
me
at
the
moment
of
silence
while
I
opened
with
a
prayer
lord
help
me
to
set
aside
everything
I
think
I
know
about
you
everything
I
think
I
know
about
myself
everything
I
think
I
know
about
others
and
everything
I
think
I
know
about
my
own
recovery
all
for
a
new
experience
in
you
lord
a
new
experience
in
myself
a
new
experience
in
my
fellows
in
a
much
needed
new
experience
in
my
own
recovery
a
man
a
man
ask
a
basket
right
here
if
you
have
any
questions
write
them
down
and
we
will
address
them
in
a
little
later
on
today
after
in
about
the
second
bullet
right
after
dinner
there's
a
bed
that
that
prayer
the
set
aside
prayer
is
a
deviation
of
fleshed
out
deviation
of
a
very
simple
prayer
that
was
used
by
one
of
my
mentors
and
also
wanna
Scott
guy
named
don
prince
who
passed
away
about
a
year
ago
the
Colorado
the
man
who
carried
a
tremendous
message
through
an
error
when
the
big
book
was
was
lost
to
within
the
fellowship
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous
he
was
one
of
a
half
dozen
men
who
capital
live
in
the
United
States
when
people
were
trying
to
figure
out
the
steps
from
treatment
center
guides
in
the
twelve
by
twelve
he
was
one
of
the
gentleman
that
kept
the
big
book
a
lot
and
that
prayer
is
very
important
to
me
because
the
thing
that
I
discovered
the
biggest
baggage
that
I
can
carry
it
to
today
is
all
the
other
stuff
I
thought
worked
once
before
but
I
need
to
have
an
open
mind
because
without
an
open
mind
it's
hard
to
have
an
open
spirit
there's
an
old
Chinese
proverb
this
proverb
about
the
wisdom
to
know
the
most
important
thing
you
would
ever
know
and
it's
a
story
of
this
little
old
wise
Chinese
farmer
who
lives
on
this
meager
piece
of
ground
that
he
doesn't
even
own
it
sold
by
this
lord
and
the
lord
allows
him
to
live
there
and
work
hard
in
the
fields
and
he
must
tied
the
certain
portion
of
his
crop
to
the
lord
for
the
privilege
of
working
the
fields
he
lives
there
with
his
only
son
and
they
own
one
thing
and
it's
their
only
possession
it's
a
horse
in
one
day
the
horse
runs
off
and
this
is
written
literally
at
he
loses
everything
he
owns
in
that
running
off
of
that
horse
and
his
friends
and
neighbors
and
family
come
running
over
to
console
him
to
tell
him
how
terrible
this
is
that
he
lost
everything
he
owned
any
the
little
man
just
shrugged
his
shoulders
and
said
I
don't
know
if
it's
awful
maybe
it
is
maybe
it
isn't
and
they
just
look
at
him
like
you
don't
even
think
that's
bad
you've
lost
everything
you
own
we
just
grow
so
I
don't
know
maybe
it
is
maybe
it
isn't
couple
days
later
the
horse
returns
right
into
his
corral
leading
a
whole
herd
of
wild
horses
and
now
he's
the
richest
man
in
the
valley
and
now
his
friends
and
family
and
neighbors
come
over
to
celebrate
to
congratulate
him
to
tell
him
this
is
wonderful
this
is
what
great
this
is
good
you're
the
richest
man
in
the
valley
he
just
shrugs
his
shoulders
and
says
I
don't
know
if
it's
good
maybe
it
is
maybe
it
is
it
is
a
little
bit
of
Yiddish
accent
this
is
a
couple
days
later
his
only
son
is
trying
to
break
one
of
the
wild
horses
in
eastern
road
and
he's
let
his
leg
is
all
mangled
up
but
he
can't
work
can't
walk
they
know
his
friends
and
family
neighbors
come
running
over
to
console
him
to
tell
him
how
terrible
this
is
this
is
bad
this
is
this
is
often
and
he
shrugs
his
shoulders
since
I
don't
know
if
it's
awful
maybe
it
is
maybe
it
isn't
who
knows
and
they
just
shake
their
heads
and
they
think
that
your
only
son
you
don't
even
think
that's
bad
he
just
said
I
don't
know
maybe
it
is
maybe
it
isn't
a
few
days
later
the
Chinese
army
marched
through
the
valley
and
they
forced
all
the
young
men
to
go
and
fight
in
a
battle
where
none
of
them
would
survive
and
they
couldn't
take
the
son
because
of
his
broken
leg
you
see
the
little
man
is
the
most
important
thing
he
would
ever
know
the
city
doesn't
know
isn't
it
the
things
that
I
think
my
ego
tells
me
you're
so
that
of
sabotage
me
over
my
life
hi
the
worst
thing
I
would
have
bet
could
have
ever
happened
to
me
would
be
for
me
to
be
end
up
an
alcoholic
and
end
up
in
Alcoholics
Anonymous
end
up
having
to
surrender
and
end
up
having
to
work
the
steps
and
yet
years
later
I
can
tell
you
with
absolute
certainty
that
I
didn't
know
did
it
turned
out
to
be
the
best
thing
that's
ever
happened
to
me
and
I
have
been
so
wrong
about
so
much
in
my
life
if
you
have
the
type
of
vehicle
that
you
can't
stand
to
be
wrong
you're
going
to
have
a
hard
time
even
for
free
yeah
yeah
it's
not
good
to
be
good
if
you
can't
stand
to
be
wrong
because
we're
going
to
enter
into
a
process
right
now
we're
going
to
start
looking
at
the
exact
nature
of
our
wrongs
we're
gonna
start
looking
to
see
how
wrong
I'd
been
about
every
judgment
I've
ever
had
Scott
thanks
Bob
I
have
it
was
put
in
mind
of
a
couple
of
the
old
sage
sayings
that
I
love
the
the
first
one
is
the
first
rule
of
holes
when
you're
in
one
stop
digging
that's
hard
for
us
and
and
the
other
one
very
similar
to
the
first
rule
of
cavalry
and
that's
when
the
horse
is
dead
dismount
I
go
to
United
this
continued
on
page
sixty
three
with
the
prayer
in
the
second
paragraph
got
offer
myself
to
the
it
doesn't
say
give
me
a
little
help
and
I'll
take
it
from
here
it
says
take
me
I'm
literally
inviting
god
into
take
over
my
life
to
build
with
me
we
may
have
to
tear
down
some
what's
already
standing
there
and
I
think
I
think
we
do
newcomers
a
great
disservice
if
we
don't
tell
them
this
you
come
here
and
do
this
thing
we're
doing
your
life's
going
to
change
and
you
are
not
going
to
like
all
of
the
changes
and
I
think
you
need
to
know
that
some
things
you'd
like
to
keep
our
probably
leaving
and
they
are
not
coming
back
and
some
things
that
you
don't
like
are
coming
and
they're
going
to
stay
but
it's
a
package
deal
look
at
two
bowling
balls
here
my
well
god's
will
pick
one
that's
what
I'm
being
asked
to
do
here
the
fact
is
that
this
package
is
dramatically
better
than
the
life
that
I
had
before
and
yet
they're
still
on
some
days
parts
of
it
that
I
don't
like
isn't
that
insane
that
that's
the
one
I
like
doesn't
really
matter
that
much
if
all
stop
and
think
about
if
you're
been
hearing
people
for
years
say
it's
important
for
me
to
be
comfortable
today
I
don't
believe
that
what's
important
is
that
I
don't
borrow
discomfort
from
any
other
day
by
live
only
in
the
state
we
talk
a
lot
about
one
day
at
a
time
continue
with
the
prayer
to
do
with
me
as
thou
wilt
relieve
me
of
the
bondage
the
word
bondage
means
the
exact
same
thing
to
slavery
really
me
of
the
bondage
ourself
then
I
better
do
they
will
and
then
the
balance
of
the
prayer
talks
about
me
helping
other
people
I
think
they're
about
thirty
references
in
the
big
book
to
me
helping
other
people
that's
what
this
is
about
and
then
it
says
we
thought
well
before
taking
the
step
in
when
I
get
a
new
man
to
this
point
us
out
want
you
to
think
about
this
let's
don't
leap
at
this
give
this
some
thought
because
we're
not
messing
around
here
you're
going
to
have
major
life
changes
want
you
to
make
sure
you
understand
that
you
invited
them
in
and
then
it
suggests
in
the
next
paragraph
we
do
it
with
someone
and
I'm
more
than
happy
for
them
to
do
their
third
step
prayer
with
anyone
they
like
and
me
because
I
want
to
be
there
because
it
has
been
my
experience
generally
speaking
somewhere
between
the
beginning
of
this
work
on
step
three
and
the
end
of
step
nine
there
tends
to
be
a
big
experience
and
sometimes
we
see
it
madam
its
metamorphosis
it
it's
right
there
it's
it's
from
the
cocoon
to
butterfly
other
times
it's
a
process
but
if
it
happens
here
at
this
third
step
prayer
in
it
can
I
have
seen
it
someone
who
knows
what's
going
on
needs
to
be
there
I
have
had
man
unable
to
get
up
off
their
knees
from
the
third
step
for
they
need
someone
there
who
knows
what's
going
on
and
so
I
and
I'm
more
than
happy
if
them
invite
someone
else
but
I
want
to
be
there
no
that's
just
what
I
do
I'm
not
saying
you
should
that's
what
I
do
and
then
it
gives
you
the
invitation
to
write
your
own
third
step
prayer
and
also
in
that
last
paragraph
and
and
I
invite
them
to
and
I
want
to
tell
you
this
to
Bob
and
I
have
talked
about
this
we
both
have
permission
if
you
hear
us
tell
a
story
about
someone
we
know
or
someone
we
sponsor
we
have
that
person's
permission
to
tell
you
that
story
we
would
not
be
telling
it
so
go
to
the
bank
with
that
all
right
we
have
permission
or
not
so
I
have
permission
to
tell
you
this
when
I
I
sponsor
a
songwriter
you
can't
live
in
Nashville
have
twenty
years
of
not
sponsor
songwriters
one
of
one
of
the
rules
actually
sponsor
more
than
one
but
this
particular
one
when
he
got
to
this
point
I
I
said
you're
invited
here
to
write
your
own
third
step
for
if
you'd
like
to
he
said
I'll
do
that
so
he
he
came
to
us
and
I
want
to
read
it
before
we
get
it
so
I
read
this
beautiful
thing
that
he
had
written
but
it
left
out
the
part
about
god
being
in
charge
of
that
being
okay
with
him
SO
I
think
it's
kind
of
important
that
we
check
the
details
on
these
things
I
have
seen
some
beautiful
ones
I
wish
I
had
a
copy
of
Burke
Harlan's
he
wrote
a
magnificent
thirds
that
prayer
I'd
love
to
see
a
copy
of
that
again
but
we
got
to
make
sure
that
we
express
the
whole
idea
and
then
we
pray
the
prayer
and
I
like
to
tell
them
as
as
we
finish
the
prayer
that
that
the
discussion
rages
on
our
fellowship
is
to
win
to
do
a
four
step
I've
heard
people
say
don't
do
forced
up
to
soon
you
may
drink
I
personally
never
seen
that
I've
seen
several
thousand
wait
too
late
because
if
you
haven't
done
one
I'm
talking
I'm
referring
mother
when
I
say
the
fourth
step
is
to
the
actual
force
them
which
is
cleverly
concealed
in
this
book
which
is
news
and
a
lot
of
places
and
what
the
four
step
does
it
brief
me
brings
tremendous
relief
it
contains
the
forgiveness
process
which
is
what
we're
what
we're
going
to
talk
about
hopefully
this
hour
but
this
thing
about
don't
do
for
step
two
so
I've
I've
heard
people
say
you
do
one
step
a
year
what
pages
that
I
can't
seem
to
find
that
I
mean
you
wouldn't
want
to
get
well
too
fast
would
you
yeah
I
was
always
afraid
I
might
over
correct
yeah
I
might
do
just
a
little
bit
more
than
I
absolutely
had
to
I
think
that's
what
that
thinking
is
about
the
book
is
not
specific
about
when
to
do
a
four
step
it
actually
makes
two
time
references
and
I
believe
that
I
should
give
any
leeway
that
the
book
is
and
if
the
book
is
makes
two
time
references
if
I
sponsor
you
may
use
either
of
those
two
or
anything
that
lies
between
them
does
that
seem
fair
to
everyone
here
so
that's
the
approach
we
take
and
I
have
him
begin
reading
at
the
bottom
of
page
sixty
three
after
we
finished
the
press
has
next
to
say
wait
that's
a
time
reference
so
the
next
would
be
as
we
come
up
off
of
our
knees
having
done
the
third
step
prayer
next
that's
a
time
reference
we
lost
out
on
the
course
of
vigorous
action
first
of
all
which
is
a
personal
house
plan
which
many
of
us
than
ever
attempted
our
decision
that
would
be
our
third
step
decision
was
a
vital
word
vital
comes
from
the
Latin
vida
which
means
life
vital
means
necessary
to
life
was
a
vital
and
crucial
step
and
have
little
proven
effect
unless
and
once
that's
a
time
reference
so
if
I
sponsor
you
you'll
do
your
four
step
next
order
once
or
anywhere
in
between
I
give
you
all
of
the
leeway
that
the
book
gives
you
I
think
it's
only
fair
and
then
it's
gonna
get
worse
than
that
believe
me
it's
gonna
get
worse
than
that
follow
less
strenuous
effort
to
face
and
be
rid
of
isn't
that
interesting
be
rid
of
in
step
four
I'm
going
to
be
rid
of
the
things
in
myself
that
have
been
blocking
me
and
I
would
observe
it
if
you
do
a
four
step
and
all
you
do
is
right
you
will
be
rid
of
ink
paper
and
time
and
I
basis
so
surprised
to
find
out
that
ink
paper
or
time
were
blocking
you
and
yet
in
step
four
going
to
be
rid
of
the
things
that
are
blocking
me
so
there
must
be
things
in
step
four
other
than
writing
and
I
would
observe
that
is
the
things
other
than
writing
a
step
for
that
are
life
changing
we're
going
to
cover
that
in
this
hour
and
the
next
one
block
blocking
us
from
what
three
things
page
fifty
five
the
great
reality
deep
down
within
us
the
books
as
it
were
blocked
from
it
were
obscured
from
it
the
fundamental
idea
of
god
deep
within
us
were
blocked
from
it
I
am
also
blocked
from
carrying
out
the
decision
in
step
three
if
if
you
he
may
have
the
same
experience
that
I
had
in
early
sobriety
I
get
down
on
my
knees
onto
the
third
step
per
twenty
minutes
later
I'm
in
my
hand
running
the
show
and
I
used
to
think
well
I'm
turning
it
over
and
taking
it
back
no
I'm
not
turning
it
over
because
I'm
blocked
from
carrying
out
the
decision
in
step
three
I
can't
do
it
I
am
still
in
the
bondage
of
self
because
I've
not
dismantled
the
judgment
machine
that
is
my
will
that
I
will
dismantle
in
step
four
so
I'm
blocked
from
carrying
out
the
decision
in
step
three
and
I'm
also
blocked
in
something
I
don't
even
want
to
admit
I'm
blocked
from
any
kind
of
connectedness
our
community
intimacy
with
others
and
I
don't
know
that
I
am
blocked
from
you
because
I
think
it's
your
fault
it's
not
that
I
don't
want
to
be
close
to
you
you're
just
a
jerk
and
eventually
so
are
you
and
you
and
you
want
to
get
start
getting
lonelier
and
local
control
over
the
year
and
alcoholics
live
in
a
peculiar
state
of
isolation
through
our
judgment
were
blocked
from
god
from
carrying
out
the
decision
and
step
three
and
from
other
people
I
don't
even
know
it
alcoholism
is
a
lonely
business
thanks
continued
on
page
sixty
four
therefore
we
started
upon
a
personal
inventory
this
will
step
for
businesses
take
no
regular
inventory
usually
goes
broke
the
business
is
that
I
deal
with
most
of
them
do
a
computer
update
every
night
for
me
that's
the
evening
portion
of
step
eleven
as
described
on
page
eighty
six
but
once
a
year
sometimes
twice
but
at
least
once
a
year
they
do
a
full
tear
down
inventory
so
this
is
the
reference
and
I
have
some
friends
who
say
you
do
the
first
nine
steps
once
you
stay
sober
on
ten
eleven
and
twelve
and
if
that's
what
their
sponsor
has
them
doing
it
suits
me
fine
my
own
experiences
on
my
eighth
four
step
I
discovered
resentments
are
over
twenty
five
years
old
and
I
had
been
thorough
before
that
I
just
couldn't
find
them
until
then
so
for
me
about
once
a
year
in
in
twenty
years
twenty
three
years
of
sobriety
I
believe
I've
just
completed
my
eighteenth
four
steps
I've
missed
some
but
my
last
and
only
took
me
about
thirty
minutes
because
I
stay
pretty
cleaned
out
but
I
think
it's
important
for
me
to
stay
involved
in
the
process
because
every
once
in
a
while
I
find
some
big
particular
in
the
states
as
we
come
up
on
election
year
some
of
the
old
resentments
do
come
back
I'm
sure
that
doesn't
happen
here
okay
continuing
on
sixty
four
take
a
commercial
in
towards
a
fact
finding
in
fact
facing
process
than
ever
to
discover
the
truth
about
the
stock
in
trade
one
object
is
to
disclose
damage
run
sell
goods
to
get
rid
up
twice
on
this
page
we
have
told
you
in
step
forward
going
to
get
rid
of
prompting
without
regret
next
paragraph
we
did
exactly
the
same
thing
with
our
lives
took
stock
honestly
first
we
search
out
the
flaws
in
our
make
up
which
caused
our
failure
there's
the
good
news
one
more
time
bacon
itself
manifest
in
various
ways
when
it
defeated
us
we
considered
it's
common
manifestations
so
here
is
an
overview
of
step
four
as
I
understand
it
from
this
text
and
by
the
way
if
you
disagree
with
something
I
say
I'd
love
to
hear
from
you
that's
how
I
learned
it
I
make
mistakes
I
wonder
what
I
know
for
sure
today
that's
incorrect
time
I'm
on
a
constant
search
for
people
to
disagree
not
to
argue
with
her
to
set
your
mind
but
to
see
what
I
might
learn
so
please
I
I
feel
free
and
I'd
like
to
reiterate
that
if
also
if
you
I
say
something
you
disagree
with
I'd
also
like
you
to
see
Scott
yes
Bob
starting
a
new
group
called
the
knights
of
humility
and
so
as
I
look
at
step
four
in
here
this
is
what
I
see
that
the
three
functions
of
self
the
three
manifestations
of
self
that
we're
going
to
inventory
very
specifically
our
resentment
fear
and
sexual
misconduct
and
I
claim
there's
not
a
sex
inventory
in
the
book
we
inventory
only
the
dark
side
I
don't
find
the
direction
here
that
says
what
did
you
do
in
the
sexual
arena
that
you
thought
was
right
good
so
we
only
inventory
the
dark
side
of
it
I
do
not
like
the
idea
of
sex
having
a
bad
name
it's
my
favorite
toy
and
right
and
so
I
don't
like
the
idea
of
having
a
bad
night
so
and
then
the
format
that
we
use
is
is
we
will
do
a
series
of
lists
observations
and
prayers
on
resentment
fear
and
sexual
misconduct
so
that's
what
the
setup
looks
like
on
this
thing
it
is
my
experience
that
the
writing
portion
of
step
four
has
very
little
if
any
effect
at
all
the
observations
not
would
you
happen
to
notice
as
you
went
zipping
through
writing
but
the
observation
specifically
called
for
some
written
most
not
and
the
prayers
are
life
changing
that
that's
where
the
poisonous
dug
out
your
soul
I
heard
a
speaker
one
times
a
resentment
is
when
I
didn't
get
my
will
in
the
past
anger
and
depression
or
when
I'm
not
getting
my
will
right
now
and
fear
is
the
concern
that
I
may
not
get
my
will
sometime
in
the
future
so
this
whole
thing
is
about
my
will
and
what
is
carried
to
me
I'm
from
my
home
group
god
forgives
me
for
everything
I
ever
did
and
he
loved
me
while
I
was
doing
it
my
god
got
bigger
the
day
that
guy
said
that
the
rest
of
my
experience
is
that
I
don't
have
the
power
to
make
a
mistake
so
ugly
that
god
can't
turn
it
into
something
magnificent
I
didn't
say
fix
I
don't
have
the
power
that's
who
I
am
that's
who
he
is
those
things
helped
me
so
much
so
we're
going
to
do
now
is
we're
going
to
explore
for
directions
and
I
people
ask
me
occasionally
when
you
think
about
writing
an
autobiography
I
think
it's
a
great
idea
I
hope
you
will
write
an
autobiography
but
also
hope
you'll
do
a
four
step
because
that
will
change
your
life
because
the
force
that
was
not
an
autobiography
not
at
all
next
paragraph
resentment
is
the
number
one
offender
it
destroys
I
love
the
new
language
it
destroys
my
alcoholics
and
then
else
from
its
stem
all
forms
of
spiritual
disease
we've
been
not
only
mentally
and
physically
women
spiritually
sick
when
the
spiritual
malady
is
overcome
we
straighten
out
mentally
and
physically
Bob
already
talked
about
that
how
important
that
is
yes
isn't
dealing
with
resentments
we
set
them
on
paper
for
me
that's
a
general
description
they're
going
to
tell
me
exactly
how
to
set
them
on
paper
it
says
we
listed
people
institutions
are
principles
within
we
are
angry
so
what
I
need
first
first
direction
is
a
list
of
people
institutions
principles
that
is
to
say
anything
or
anyone
that
has
ever
made
me
angry
have
you
thinking
wow
that's
gonna
be
a
long
list
good
then
you're
going
to
do
a
thorough
for
step
my
first
name
is
pretty
long
don't
talk
a
little
bit
I'm
gonna
have
some
fun
first
probably
I
say
to
this
guy
at
this
point
you're
probably
wondering
what
coloring
to
usual
color
paper
we
wondering
that
about
half
of
them
say
yeah
paid
sixty
seven
two
thirds
the
way
down
the
page
when
we
sorrowful
as
we
listed
then
we
place
them
force
in
black
and
white
that's
not
very
specific
it
does
not
say
white
paper
black
ink
that
could
easily
be
black
paper
white
ink
and
I
sponsor
will
be
one
or
the
other
and
black
pencil
by
the
way
and
white
papers
close
enough
but
I
but
I
want
and
and
I
want
I
want
you
I
think
that's
crazy
I
think
that's
absolutely
insane
and
stupid
and
I'd
insist
on
it
because
the
first
time
I
let
myself
on
the
hook
on
the
detail
in
here
it
might
have
been
the
one
that
would
save
my
life
so
I
think
that's
insane
and
I
fully
expect
the
guys
I
sponsored
to
do
their
inventory
in
black
and
white
and
if
I
could
delete
this
part
of
my
presentation
make
Bob
a
lot
happier
but
I
can't
say
this
is
what
I
do
he
doesn't
have
that
same
perspective
and
that's
fine
I
like
to
recommend
a
spiral
notebook
I
think
that's
a
very
easy
way
to
do
this
just
a
just
a
simple
little
notebook
you
open
the
inside
cover
write
something
on
the
first
page
something
subtle
like
this
is
my
four
step
put
it
down
if
I
find
you
with
that
I
will
kill
you
and
hide
your
body
something
subtle
and
yet
to
get
your
point
across
still
don't
leave
them
confused
and
then
and
then
if
you'll
turn
the
next
page
you'll
be
looking
at
two
facing
pages
consider
that
to
be
one
page
and
if
you
make
a
total
number
one
above
the
margin
on
the
left
hand
page
a
number
two
in
the
center
of
the
left
hand
page
and
a
three
and
a
four
equidistant
on
the
right
hand
page
that's
the
way
we
laid
out
we're
going
to
do
a
four
column
inventory
and
what
we
need
first
is
a
list
of
people
institutions
are
principles
with
whom
we
are
angry
that's
what
that
first
column
is
going
to
be
if
you
have
a
a
a
forty
hour
a
week
job
in
a
thirty
minute
commute
to
work
that
cost
you
forty
five
hours
a
week
if
you
sleep
eight
hours
a
night
that's
fifty
six
hours
a
week
if
you
attend
seven
meetings
a
little
driving
time
low
hanging
around
this
another
fifteen
hours
three
hours
of
recreation
maybe
some
tennis
around
the
golf
something
like
that
two
hours
to
mow
the
lawn
and
do
your
mailing
list
the
all
the
mailing
lists
honey
do
this
honey
do
that
it's
it's
what
we
call
that
a
mailing
list
in
the
states
five
hours
reading
spiritual
literature
of
I
sponsor
your
read
two
pages
a
day
in
the
big
book
you
can't
read
to
page
a
day
in
the
text
I'm
good
time
food
yet
three
hours
a
week
to
bey's
shave
you
know
personal
hygiene
four
hours
a
week
for
a
date
with
your
wife
if
you're
fortunate
to
still
have
one
maybe
to
coach
a
little
league
soccer
team
or
something
like
that
five
hours
on
the
week
on
the
telephone
with
me
and
with
some
other
men
whose
names
and
numbers
I
will
give
you
twelve
hours
a
week
cooking
and
eating
an
hour
shopping
for
groceries
getting
hair
cuts
things
like
that
five
hours
a
week
in
prayer
and
meditation
we're
going
to
need
some
time
on
that
nine
hours
a
week
watching
television
that's
three
ball
games
or
two
games
of
golf
on
TV
that's
enough
add
that
up
it's
a
hundred
and
sixty
five
hours
there
are
only
a
hundred
and
sixty
eight
hours
in
a
week
you
got
three
hours
left
I
want
half
I
believe
that
one
of
the
principles
here
is
that
recovery
should
not
have
a
negative
impact
on
any
other
aspect
of
my
life
he
should
be
dead
gum
inconvenient
at
times
but
it
shouldn't
have
a
negative
impact
on
my
marriage
my
job
my
relationship
with
my
children
so
let's
don't
take
time
away
from
those
things
but
let's
talk
about
it
for
me
the
hour
and
a
half
is
just
a
rule
of
thumb
ice
I
sponsor
man
and
when
we
got
to
step
four
his
wife
had
a
fabulous
job
they
had
a
one
year
old
son
he
was
a
stay
at
home
dad
his
son
took
a
nap
from
one
to
three
every
afternoon
five
days
a
week
I
expect
him
to
do
two
hours
on
this
four
step
from
one
in
the
afternoon
to
three
while
the
sons
of
sleep
and
and
and
if
there's
a
day
when
you
can't
then
tell
me
beforehand
what
my
experience
is
is
that
I
get
reasons
before
him
I
get
excuses
after
don't
get
me
with
the
reason
on
the
front
end
I'm
easy
whatever
your
reason
is
good
for
me
I
buy
on
the
back
and
they
tend
to
be
excuses
and
other
ones
on
the
front
and
also
have
a
tendency
to
be
true
anyway
and
so
another
guy
has
got
a
wife
and
five
kids
in
the
working
two
jobs
I
don't
think
he
can
give
an
hour
and
a
half
so
let
I
like
to
come
up
with
something
that
we
can
agree
to
I
think
what
I
set
out
to
do
my
first
four
step
I
gave
myself
the
assignment
of
completing
a
four
step
if
I
do
that
I'm
in
perfect
position
to
hate
myself
until
it's
done
and
I
think
I
hated
myself
long
enough
if
I
can
agree
with
my
sponsor
on
how
much
time
I
should
spend
each
week
and
I
spend
that
time
on
it
I
can
feel
good
about
myself
alignment
process
doesn't
that
feel
better
it's
it's
a
much
easier
way
to
approach
I
like
because
I
want
them
to
to
schedule
it
and
Monday
Wednesday
and
Friday
is
not
a
schedule
Monday
from
seven
PM
to
seven
thirty
PM
that's
a
schedule
call
me
every
Sunday
with
your
schedule
now
and
you
feel
all
my
goodness
I
didn't
know
he
had
a
little
league
game
Monday
night
and
so
I
slipped
it
from
seven
o'clock
Monday
night
to
six
o'clock
Tuesday
morning
I
don't
even
need
a
phone
call
on
that
right
but
like
anything
else
on
my
counter
that's
important
it's
not
subject
to
cancellation
is
subject
to
change
maybe
a
little
bit
not
subject
to
cancellation
and
then
just
do
it
in
process
you
know
how
to
eat
an
elephant
right
one
bite
at
a
time
you
know
one
of
these
days
that
sucker's
gonna
sell
select
plans
don't
worry
about
having
the
elephant
is
let's
take
today's
bite
one
day
at
a
time
folks
that's
what
this
is
all
about
I
also
like
to
tell
them
that
if
you
have
to
do
the
perfect
for
step
you
can't
do
one
at
all
you
have
my
my
permission
to
do
a
poor
for
step
anything
worth
doing
is
worth
doing
poorly
as
I
learned
to
do
it
well
that
was
a
new
one
for
me
that
so
you're
not
going
to
do
the
same
perfectly
we
are
not
saving
a
special
alcove
in
Akron
at
the
a
hall
of
Famer
you're
forced
all
right
and
our
whole
group
does
not
give
a
trophy
every
year
for
the
best
for
step
this
is
the
trophy
you
are
not
going
to
get
if
you
can't
read
it
in
the
back
it
says
four
step
trophy
never
awarded
hi
this
is
a
trophy
you
are
not
getting
you
can
have
your
picture
made
with
us
like
if
you
like
to
live
right
here
which
is
not
yours
you're
not
getting
it
the
other
thing
I
do
is
as
soon
as
he
starts
and
I
get
a
hold
of
his
four
seven
I
given
is
great
on
the
inside
cover
under
that
stuff
about
please
put
it
down
F.
minus
right
you
have
to
do
this
again
so
if
it
doesn't
have
to
be
perfect
then
you
can
actually
do
it
in
the
thirty
minute
session
and
I
just
actually
just
recently
got
a
fellow
through
the
work
and
he's
an
early
riser
and
have
a
lot
of
time
on
his
hands
in
the
morning
he
was
doing
forty
five
minutes
in
the
morning
four
days
a
week
that's
what
he
and
I
agree
to
something
came
up
and
he
had
to
drop
that
down
to
two
days
a
week
for
a
couple
days
great
we
talk
about
it
on
the
front
end
so
it's
there's
a
lot
of
flexibility
but
I
like
the
first
five
minutes
of
that
to
be
in
prayer
and
meditation
let's
invite
god
into
this
four
step
let's
let's
ask
him
for
clarity
of
mind
to
find
what
I
need
to
find
the
courage
to
write
it
down
about
five
minutes
and
then
let's
sit
down
and
just
start
spending
them
the
inside
cover
turn
the
page
we're
looking
at
a
double
page
one
two
three
four
across
the
top
we're
going
to
work
in
the
left
hand
margin
and
we
need
the
names
of
all
the
people
and
things
that
I've
ever
made
you
angry
ever
ever
even
if
you're
sure
you've
already
forgiven
them
the
rule
is
it
when
in
doubt
righted
out
let's
get
it
down
write
a
name
skip
align
right
a
name
skip
align
right
a
name
skip
the
line
for
those
of
you
who
looked
ahead
and
realised
column
two
is
going
to
be
what
they
did
you're
planning
to
save
ten
pages
for
your
father
and
nine
for
your
boss
the
answer
is
right
one
name
skip
one
line
right
one
name
skip
one
line
do
not
write
any
other
night
don't
don't
write
any
names
a
second
time
that
you
may
do
that
by
mistake
will
find
it
later
we're
not
going
to
take
all
that
extra
time
for
writing
all
that
stuff
and
I'm
sure
you
wanted
just
a
minute
when
you
get
to
the
bottom
of
the
page
turn
the
page
and
write
one
two
three
four
and
continue
and
do
that
until
they
slow
down
if
you
sit
for
thirty
forty
five
seconds
and
not
think
of
anything
or
anyone
that
has
ever
made
you
angry
the
let's
take
a
look
at
the
bottom
of
page
sixty
five
first
sentence
below
the
examples
as
we
went
back
to
our
lives
so
then
it
indicates
that
we
use
what
I
call
a
reverse
chronology
we
begin
with
today
and
work
backward
to
our
lives
I
currently
live
at
this
place
I'm
married
to
this
fabulous
woman
who's
doing
the
workshop
down
the
hall
this
is
where
I
work
this
is
my
home
group
center
to
center
but
fifteen
years
ago
I
was
married
to
and
I
worked
at
the
other
place
and
someone
and
before
that
I
lived
in
this
other
place
and
before
that
and
I
go
back
through
my
life
thinking
of
everything
that
went
on
in
those
places
searching
for
anything
that
has
ever
made
me
angry
there
should
be
some
major
political
figures
down
there
local
and
international
major
political
parties
there's
probably
at
least
one
religion
listed
there
may
be
a
branch
of
the
military
most
of
your
teachers
and
schools
all
of
your
family
members
just
put
him
down
right
and
just
just
whatever
you
can
think
of
and
people
ask
me
sometimes
what
what's
a
a
good
size
of
the
list
I
think
the
shortest
list
IRA
so
I
believe
was
complete
was
around
forty
five
or
fifty
it
was
a
very
young
man
who
had
a
pretty
good
attitude
the
longest
list
I've
ever
saw
was
over
six
hundred
and
it
was
incomplete
this
guy
hated
everybody
and
he
wished
there
was
more
of
a
I
don't
think
I'd
ever
seen
anyone
is
as
much
in
love
with
pages
this
guy
was
and
and
so
we're
gonna
go
back
to
your
life
and
when
we
get
to
your
earliest
memories
we
are
finished
here's
a
list
complete
no
absolutely
not
but
it's
as
complete
as
we're
going
to
get
it
this
time
because
of
AI
spots
you
sometime
in
about
six
months
you're
going
to
be
sponsored
somebody
else
and
when
you
take
him
through
this
work
you're
going
to
go
yourself
so
we're
gonna
pick
up
the
other
pieces
later
the
other
thing
I
ask
you
to
do
is
to
carry
writing
materials
with
you
all
the
time
once
we
complete
that
first
call
as
you're
gonna
be
in
the
grocery
store
look
at
the
cantaloupes
sailors
had
looked
just
like
the
Jews
right
at
them
well
added
to
the
list
next
time
you
get
to
it
so
that
list
remains
fluid
when
you
get
your
earliest
memory
were
moving
on
to
to
direction
to
which
is
the
next
sentence
says
we
asked
ourselves
why
we
are
angry
take
a
look
at
the
example
on
the
facing
page
I'm
resentful
that
Mister
brown
the
cost
listen
to
the
words
under
the
cross
his
attention
to
my
wife
I
told
my
wife
of
my
mistress
brown
may
get
my
job
at
the
office
begin
with
the
word
office
if
you
were
to
count
backwards
just
the
words
under
cost
somebody
give
me
a
number
thanks
nineteen
nineteen
it's
easy
to
mess
up
and
the
even
to
go
backwards
to
go
forwards
and
every
animal
nineteen
words
let's
talk
about
what
he
did
Mister
brown
is
messing
with
his
wife
has
told
his
wife
about
his
girlfriend
about
that
make
things
pleasant
at
the
house
and
just
trying
to
get
him
fired
he
got
nineteen
words
it's
a
summary
all
right
we're
not
gonna
start
out
it
was
a
rainy
Wednesday
afternoon
no
we're
not
going
there
it's
a
summary
it's
brief
my
second
column
says
things
like
screwed
me
in
a
business
deal
let
me
for
another
guy
next
to
high
school
football
coach
didn't
play
me
as
much
as
I
deserved
left
me
for
another
guy
left
me
for
another
guy
there
are
patterns
if
you
look
for
them
you
may
see
patterns
but
it's
a
summary
and
it's
brief
and
and
then
I
say
to
him
nineteen
words
if
you've
done
the
format
we
talked
about
you've
got
the
name
on
the
left
hand
margin
and
you
now
have
the
space
from
the
name
over
to
the
spiral
and
you
have
the
entire
line
below
that
in
which
you
can
write
nineteen
words
or
fewer
don't
write
the
twentieth
word
if
you
have
someone
who
thinks
done
more
than
this
and
you
need
a
ride
to
twenty
work
call
me
will
negotiate
I'll
be
happy
to
talk
about
I'll
tell
you
I've
never
given
up
the
twentieth
ward
I'm
willing
to
talk
about
the
truth
is
I
never
been
called
you
wouldn't
call
me
would
you
not
not
after
that
now
mostly
squeeze
it
down
because
what
we're
trying
to
we're
not
going
to
feed
this
result
we're
going
to
dig
it
out
here
that's
what
we're
here
to
do
is
we're
here
to
dig
it
out
and
one
of
the
hardest
things
if
you've
never
done
the
for
the
act
the
four
step
out
of
this
book
having
this
information
the
hardest
thing
for
you
is
going
to
be
to
you're
good
when
you're
right
and
then
you're
going
to
write
what
they
did
don't
do
that
it
said
list
we
need
the
list
first
we're
gonna
complete
column
one
before
we
go
to
column
too
that
will
be
hard
because
you're
going
to
want
you're
going
to
war
we
write
in
English
and
people
who
write
in
English
like
to
work
left
to
right
not
top
to
bottom
it's
not
going
to
be
easy
but
I
hope
you'll
do
that
their
two
reasons
the
best
one
is
the
book
says
lists
and
lists
go
down
the
page
thank
your
last
grocery
list
series
words
and
phrases
went
down
a
page
list
don't
go
across
the
second
reason
is
because
if
you
work
across
the
page
will
tend
to
make
this
resentment
flare
and
when
I
try
to
make
it
flat
we're
trying
to
dig
it
out
direction
three
top
of
sixty
five
undergraduates
we
sat
opposite
each
name
our
injuries
wasn't
our
five
part
multiple
choice
self
esteem
security
ambitions
person
or
sex
relations
some
will
only
get
one
this
is
column
three
some
will
have
two
or
three
some
may
have
all
five
some
you
may
not
be
able
to
figure
out
don't
give
yourself
a
brain
hernia
trying
to
figure
this
out
by
yourself
hopefully
have
a
sponsor
and
call
your
sponsoring
your
sponsor
help
you
understand
what
was
self
esteem
because
it
almost
always
is
on
my
first
fifteen
inventories
self
esteem
got
the
most
think
the
last
three
it's
been
security
is
really
funny
to
watch
the
change
still
working
down
the
page
are
you
would
assume
that
what
comes
after
column
three
is
calling
for
what
comes
after
calling
three
is
the
part
of
this
inventory
that
I
think
is
life
changing
and
what
lies
between
the
third
and
fourth
Collins
and
my
experience
is
some
of
the
most
metamorphic
of
all
the
work
that
we
do
this
will
take
the
poison
out
yourself
bottom
of
sixty
five
when
we
were
finished
we
considered
it
carefully
they're
going
to
tell
us
how
to
consider
disassembles
observations
I
was
referring
to
the
first
thing
a
parent
was
that
this
world
is
people
are
often
quite
wrong
yeah
probably
you
have
been
sitting
on
bar
stools
or
some
of
the
other
great
philosophers
of
our
era
looking
at
this
exact
thing
for
decades
so
we
don't
need
to
give
this
one
a
lot
of
time
to
conclude
others
are
wrong
as
far
as
most
of
us
ever
got
and
I
have
to
look
and
say
that
that's
the
truth
usual
outcomes
that
people
continue
to
wrong
us
we
stayed
sore
it
was
remorse
sometimes
we
sort
ourselves
we'll
move
on
to
the
next
paragraph
says
it
is
plain
the
life
which
includes
deep
resentment
leads
only
to
futility
on
happiness
that's
an
observation
that
they
have
made
and
when
I
asked
the
man
I
sponsor
say
do
you
want
with
the
people
who
wrote
this
book
had
and
what
they
had
was
long
term
productive
happy
recovery
is
that
what
you're
looking
for
if
it
is
then
I'd
encourage
you
to
commit
that
when
we
go
through
this
book
if
they
say
they
wrote
something
you
will
stop
in
writing
and
they
say
they
prayed
something
you
will
stop
and
pray
it
if
they
say
they
observe
something
you
will
stop
an
endeavor
to
observe
it
you
may
or
may
not
be
able
to
but
you
will
try
to
observe
it
so
here's
an
observation
it's
plain
that
the
life
which
includes
deep
resentment
leads
only
to
futile
and
happiness
is
that
plain
to
you
have
you
ever
seen
a
life
that
was
happy
joyous
free
and
full
of
resentment
I
never
have
interesting
point
to
precise
instead
that
we
permit
these
we
squander
the
hours
I
might
have
been
worthwhile
did
you
ever
squander
our
summers
image
ever
sit
in
class
and
item
we
should
be
listening
Jever
late
wake
at
night
planning
their
demise
when
you
should've
been
sleeping
that's
something
familiar
did
you
squander
hours
it
might
have
been
worthwhile
this
is
true
for
you
okay
but
with
the
alcoholic
whose
hope
who
now
they're
going
to
move
my
hope
is
the
maintenance
and
growth
of
a
spiritual
experience
growth
means
that
what
I
already
have
may
be
insufficient
hello
it's
good
my
two
thousand
and
seven
program
might
not
be
enough
to
keep
me
summer
two
thousand
and
eight
I
must
stand
a
growth
mode
maintenance
I
believe
means
two
things
maintenance
means
I
cannot
afford
to
lose
anything
already
have
in
that
sense
to
maintain
it
also
means
the
most
maintenance
my
spiritual
experience
in
the
same
sense
and
I
mean
it's
my
vehicle
I
keep
the
front
end
aligned
I
have
the
right
pressure
in
the
tires
I
change
the
oil
I
watch
it
I
made
it's
my
spiritual
experience
through
prayer
meditation
taking
meetings
in
the
penal
facilities
and
treatment
centers
sponsoring
guys
having
a
sponsor
letting
people
in
in
traffic
that
may
not
be
a
big
thing
around
here
Borchers
at
my
place
being
faithful
to
my
wife
telling
you
the
truth
trying
to
be
a
good
father
I'm
maintenance
my
spiritual
experience
in
that
way
reading
spiritual
literature
says
this
business
of
resentment
is
infinitely
grave
I
love
the
language
in
phonetically
grave
I
think
we
just
threaten
your
life
I
think
we're
going
to
do
a
lot
on
this
page
that
was
one
we
found
that
it
is
fatal
they're
not
playing
here
I
found
the
man
who
hadn't
seen
him
in
several
years
I
ran
into
the
man
that
took
me
through
the
steps
the
first
time
have
a
clubhouse
and
national
and
I
said
I
need
to
ask
you
a
question
do
you
remember
and
I
gave
him
a
man's
name
and
his
response
was
if
anyone
you
sponsor
ever
commit
suicide
you
always
remember
them
I
said
when
I
was
over
two
years
he
was
over
two
years
we
had
we
were
within
a
month
or
two
of
the
same
sobriety
date
with
the
same
home
group
press
on
him
five
or
eight
times
a
week
with
the
same
sponsored
you
and
two
years
sober
he
drove
home
from
a
meeting
one
night
pulled
his
car
in
the
garage
and
drop
the
door
and
left
it
running
sober
and
committed
suicide
and
I'm
looking
at
this
and
I'm
sitting
here
with
a
six
year
chip
in
my
pocket
and
I
can't
see
the
difference
between
me
and
that
guy's
name
is
bill
and
I'm
scared
what's
the
difference
and
he
said
bill
died
of
resentment
I
could
not
get
him
to
do
a
four
step
and
the
resentments
killed
him
and
I've
thought
about
it
I've
talked
to
other
men
that
I
knew
in
recovery
from
that
era
who
knew
him
and
everyone
agrees
with
that
analysis
every
time
you
saw
him
he
could
not
wait
to
tell
you
what
some
SOB
just
under
him
he
was
the
perennial
victim
and
the
victim's
don't
get
sober
we're
going
to
talk
about
here
on
the
balance
of
this
page
in
a
couple
of
others
stepping
out
of
the
victory
road
but
I
want
you
to
know
when
this
book
says
we
found
it's
fatal
I
watched
it
I've
seen
it
more
than
once
we
just
enjoy
life
twice
continuing
for
one
harboring
such
feelings
we
shut
ourselves
off
from
the
sunlight
in
spirit
does
anyone
having
such
feelings
I
think
I'm
okay
if
I
have
resentments
of
I'm
not
harboring
them
or
talk
about
how
do
not
harbor
them
harbor
means
to
give
a
safe
place
to
to
nurture
the
incentive
I'll
call
returns
we
drinking
with
us
to
drink
is
to
die
we
just
killed
you
three
times
if
we
were
to
live
all
this
is
only
for
the
ones
one
of
every
one
else
could
take
another
break
we
just
threaten
your
life
again
if
we
were
to
live
we
had
to
be
free
of
anger
the
grouch
in
the
brainstorm
or
not
for
us
about
the
time
this
book
was
being
written
a
very
creative
man
named
Walt
Disney
said
his
staff
down
around
a
table
and
came
up
with
a
concept
for
writing
Mickey
Mouse
cartoons
and
people
would
spit
out
ideas
and
your
idea
remind
me
of
something
I
think
that
remind
him
of
something
and
we
we
build
something
and
Walt
Disney
label
his
process
brainstorming
has
nothing
to
do
with
the
word
brainstorm
as
we
find
it
here
in
the
text
I
have
a
dictionary
at
home
from
the
nineteen
thirties
and
I
looked
up
brainstorm
and
it
says
transient
violent
mental
outburst
we
know
that
is
rage
so
this
brainstorms
which
I
has
nothing
to
do
with
the
creative
process
we're
referencing
two
kinds
of
anger
the
grouch
or
the
slow
burn
and
rage
the
brainstorm
I
hope
that
help
that
your
help
me
to
get
that
information
I
love
this
next
sensitive
so
thin
they
may
be
the
dubious
luxury
of
normal
men
well
that's
the
end
but
for
alcoholics
these
things
are
we
just
killed
again
poison
we
turned
back
to
the
list
right
held
the
key
to
the
future
does
that
mean
if
I
don't
find
the
key
to
the
future
I
don't
have
a
future
yes
that's
precisely
what
that
means
we
just
killed
your
six
time
on
this
page
we're
prepared
to
look
at
from
entirely
different
angle
different
from
what
the
last
time
we
looked
at
this
was
actually
at
the
bottom
of
the
preceding
page
the
first
thing
a
parent
with
its
people
in
this
world
as
people
are
often
quite
wrong
it's
a
last
time
we
looked
at
the
list
so
now
we
need
to
prepare
ourselves
to
look
at
it
from
an
entirely
different
angle
and
I
thought
the
different
angle
is
going
to
be
a
real
look
for
my
part
and
it
never
says
that
I
think
that's
one
of
the
most
damaging
miss
quotes
in
the
book
are
about
the
book
clearly
we
never
look
for
my
part
of
this
thing
we're
gonna
talk
about
that
it
says
we
began
to
see
that
the
world
of
people
really
dominate
us
I
think
a
thirty
minute
session
look
over
this
thing
we
got
three
columns
written
down
let's
have
a
look
how
did
their
stuff
dominate
you
this
particular
instance
right
here
where
someone
gotcha
did
you
plan
your
life
so
you'd
be
around
them
as
much
as
possible
so
if
they
made
a
mistake
you
can
make
sure
everyone
else
knew
did
you
plan
your
life
so
you'd
never
be
around
them
so
they
could
get
you
again
did
your
father
beat
you
down
so
far
that
it's
sixty
four
years
old
you
still
have
occasional
trouble
with
authority
figures
that's
my
story
by
the
way
let's
have
a
look
at
these
things
and
see
how
this
stuff
dominated
you
let's
spend
about
a
session
and
just
sort
of
look
at
it
this
is
a
tremendous
indictment
of
resentment
that's
what
this
whole
pages
about
continuing
in
that
state
the
wrong
dose
of
others
fancied
or
real
fancy
does
that
mean
some
of
this
only
happened
inside
my
head
that's
exactly
what
that
means
the
power
to
actually
kill
we
just
killed
again
seven
how
could
we
escape
we
saw
that
these
resentments
must
be
matched
I
think
it's
one
of
most
powerful
observations
in
the
book
do
you
see
that
bill
Wilson
was
a
salesman
by
trade
that's
what
I
am
I'll
tell
you
this
about
a
salesman
a
good
salesman
will
never
ever
mention
price
until
he
has
established
value
we
just
kill
just
seven
times
on
this
page
is
of
no
value
for
you
I
hope
it
is
because
the
price
is
high
the
price
is
very
high
do
you
see
that
they
must
be
mastered
have
we
made
our
sale
we
could
not
wish
them
when
when
I'll
call
you
mean
I
can't
just
say
I
forgive
you
and
it's
all
over
no
you
can't
this
is
this
was
our
course
we
realize
that
the
people
around
us
were
perhaps
spiritually
sick
our
mentor
don
describes
spiritually
sick
is
cut
off
from
god
cut
off
from
god
as
I
think
that's
really
something
enter
up
watch
my
hands
if
you
would
have
to
reveal
yes
but
the
people
around
me
were
bad
spiritually
sick
when
I
reveal
I
see
it
it
becomes
real
for
me
is
what
my
wife
calls
heart
knowledge
I
can
know
something
up
here
but
when
I
real
I
see
it
it
becomes
real
in
a
very
different
level
very
different
level
I'm
not
gonna
call
on
anybody
please
bring
to
your
mind
the
one
or
two
worst
things
you
ever
did
but
I
want
wait
you
spiritually
sick
to
have
done
that
what
you
cut
off
from
god
when
you
did
that
had
you
been
walking
in
the
sunlight
of
the
spirit
and
conscious
contact
with
this
gentleman
god
that
created
the
galaxies
and
the
giraffe
could
you
have
done
that
good
yeah
now
no
chance
at
all
probably
would
have
thought
of
it
would
you
know
where
you
spiritually
sick
when
you
did
those
things
you
did
yeah
so
perhaps
these
people
who
wronged
you
were
spiritually
sick
when
they
did
it
this
is
the
beginning
of
the
forgiveness
process
and
when
I
asked
them
to
do
with
this
piece
is
to
pray
the
list
wants
to
begin
your
five
minute
period
talking
to
god
about
the
two
or
three
worst
things
you
ever
did
and
how
you
crave
his
forgiveness
there's
a
line
in
a
prayer
that
we
and
most
of
our
meetings
in
the
states
with
all
the
ones
I
go
to
and
the
line
says
forgive
us
our
trespasses
as
we
forgive
those
who
trespass
against
us
and
I
believe
what
that
means
exactly
as
god
if
I
don't
forgive
them
don't
you
forgive
me
my
sponsor
told
me
he
said
you
got
here
one
mercy
for
you
and
justice
for
everybody
else
in
the
packages
mercy
for
everybody
or
justice
for
everybody
and
you
are
part
of
everybody
and
you
get
to
choose
and
I
am
not
a
position
to
face
justice
not
at
all
I
have
therefore
chosen
mercy
for
everyone
including
all
those
who
harm
me
for
they
were
merely
spiritually
sick
SO
talk
to
god
for
five
minutes
about
the
worst
things
you
did
and
how
you
pray
for
his
forgiveness
and
then
begin
to
pray
the
list
first
name
of
the
list
read
god
help
me
grant
that
Fred
was
just
spiritually
sick
and
not
an
S.
O.
B.
second
name
on
the
list
merry
god
please
help
me
granted
merry
was
not
a
bad
or
evil
person
she
would
just
spiritually
sick
when
she
did
those
things
that
harm
me
let's
pray
that
list
one
time
then
ask
you
to
me
to
ask
you
to
do
it
top
of
page
this
is
some
of
the
most
powerful
stuff
we
have
and
please
observe
there's
no
riding
involved
here
W.
sixty
seven
no
we
did
not
like
their
symptoms
in
the
way
these
disturbed
as
they
like
ourselves
are
sick
to
a
lot
of
stuff
in
it
so
that
we
didn't
like
their
symptoms
the
symptoms
of
their
spiritual
sickness
and
the
symptom
is
whatever
they
did
the
left
me
with
the
resentment
the
way
they
disturb
us
is
the
resentment
and
then
the
great
truth
they
like
ourselves
we're
sick
to
and
then
here's
a
prayer
we
ask
god
to
help
us
show
them
the
same
tolerance
opinion
patients
we're
cheerfully
grant
a
sick
friend
lists
observations
and
prayers
I
very
prayerfully
approach
this
because
I
had
a
mentor
actually
most
of
my
mentors
gets
over
on
the
second
edition
of
what
I'm
about
to
do
was
not
in
that
but
I
also
believe
that
puts
on
page
one
sixty
four
god
will
constantly
disclose
more
do
you
want
us
page
five
fifty
one
enough
when
I
refer
to
as
the
immoral
be
disclosed
section
of
the
book
the
stories
and
the
story
freedom
from
bondage
ladies
referring
to
resentment
against
her
mother
last
paragraph
one
morning
however
I
realized
I
had
to
get
rid
of
it
from
my
reprieve
if
you
look
up
a
reprieve
by
weights
a
stay
of
execution
right
there's
another
death
threat
my
reprieve
is
running
out
if
I
didn't
get
rid
of
it
I
was
going
to
get
drunk
and
I
didn't
want
to
get
drunk
anymore
and
my
prayer
is
that
morning
I
ask
god
to
point
out
to
be
some
way
to
be
free
of
this
resentment
during
the
day
a
friend
of
mine
brought
me
some
magazines
to
take
to
hospital
group
I
was
interested
in
I
look
through
them
a
banner
across
one
fiction
article
by
prominent
clergymen
were
check
out
the
word
resentment
before
going
to
want
to
observe
the
sequence
of
events
because
I
propose
that
it
is
a
predictable
sequence
of
events
she
sees
something
about
herself
that
needs
work
I
chose
my
words
very
carefully
not
something
wrong
with
her
I
don't
think
there's
anything
wrong
with
this
regards
kits
we
just
got
parts
of
it
could
use
some
work
out
I
like
to
think
we're
like
faceted
gemstones
like
a
diamond
has
a
lot
of
different
sides
of
your
call
facets
it
doesn't
matter
that
some
of
my
facets
are
cut
beautifully
and
well
polished
and
that
summer
not
even
started
what
matters
is
what
I'm
working
on
today's
fast
that's
what
matters
and
I
don't
believe
in
like
the
gemstone
the
diamond
there's
nothing
wrong
with
it
they're
just
some
places
that
could
use
some
work
and
I
think
that's
a
better
attitude
for
me
then
then
beat
myself
up
I
don't
want
to
see
something
about
herself
that
needs
work
I
am
too
she
prays
about
it
I
like
to
add
item
three
talk
to
a
sponsor
spiritual
adviser
and
then
item
for
she
doesn't
stay
focused
on
her
problem
or
or
what
needs
work
she
got
busy
helping
somebody
else
and
her
answer
fell
out
of
the
sky
owner
and
I'd
like
to
tell
you
that
I
believe
that's
a
predictable
sequence
of
events
that
will
happen
over
and
over
and
over
again
see
it
pray
about
it
talk
to
response
about
it
and
take
a
meeting
into
a
jail
come
out
your
answers
laying
on
the
hood
of
the
car
watch
for
it
you'll
see
it
I
love
to
watch
for
them
and
then
I
sponsor
continued
on
page
five
fifty
two
he
said
in
effect
if
you
have
a
resume
that
you
want
to
be
free
of
him
as
an
interesting
cabbie
out
do
you
want
to
be
free
that
we
make
our
sale
if
you
will
pray
for
the
person
or
thing
you
resent
you'll
be
free
if
you
ask
in
prayer
for
everything
you
want
for
yourself
to
be
given
to
them
you'll
be
free
for
their
health
their
prosperity
or
happiness
and
you
will
be
free
even
when
you
don't
really
want
it
for
them
in
your
prayers
are
only
words
and
you
don't
mean
it
go
ahead
and
do
it
anyway
that
goes
on
to
say
that
I
work
in
two
weeks
you
start
out
with
a
hundred
ninety
five
resentments
probably
don't
work
in
two
weeks
she's
down
to
one
but
I
wouldn't
worry
about
that
too
much
you
plan
to
live
to
be
a
hundred
ninety
anyway
we
got
plenty
of
time
right
and
so
I
like
to
take
that
prayer
and
add
it
to
the
one
here
on
page
sixty
seven
and
so
it
might
look
like
this
and
continuing
to
do
these
thirty
minute
a
forty
five
minute
sessions
three
four
times
a
week
sit
down
talk
to
god
about
the
worst
things
ever
done
hi
Craig
is
forgiveness
first
name
on
the
list
Fred
got
help
me
show
Fred
the
same
tolerance
and
patience
I
would
cheerfully
grant
a
sick
friend
and
I
pray
that
his
hair
didn't
fall
out
then
he
gets
promoted
at
work
it
gets
a
new
car
that
his
kids
go
to
school
on
scholarship
and
don't
give
him
any
trouble
that
his
wife
is
a
fabulous
lover
I
pray
that
his
long
rows
lush
and
green
to
grow
so
slowly
he
only
has
the
more
once
a
year
that
is
a
big
spiritual
experience
any
walks
in
the
sunlight
of
the
spirit
and
is
filled
with
your
love
all
of
that
stuff
but
like
that
that's
pretty
good
example
and
then
I
ask
a
simple
question
do
you
mean
that
or
don't
you
that's
not
an
essay
question
that's
a
yes
or
no
either
meter
you
don't
if
you
don't
mean
it
go
to
the
next
name
don't
stay
there
if
you
mean
it
put
a
check
mark
in
the
margin
to
go
to
the
next
name
and
we
get
to
the
end
of
the
list
will
start
again
just
with
the
ones
that
are
checked
and
it
wouldn't
be
unusual
to
get
all
the
way
through
the
list
a
couple
of
times
before
you
check
the
first
one
this
is
my
experience
and
forgive
me
I'm
I'm
getting
way
off
what
the
text
says
but
this
is
my
experience
with
it
I
think
it's
most
appropriate
because
of
that
I
don't
have
the
power
to
forgive
English
language
has
that
wrong
you
know
I
can
always
go
second
give
you
the
force
that
drove
the
I
can't
we
don't
give
that
but
I
can
give
you
this
but
I
can't
forgive
you
forgive
isn't
something
I
do
something
I
receive
the
two
me
resentment
is
like
ice
around
my
heart
and
the
ice
has
the
thickness
and
I
believe
that
fitness
is
based
on
the
severity
of
the
event
and
how
much
I
have
nurtured
that
resentment
and
what
I
do
here
is
I
prayerfully
hold
the
icy
heart
up
to
the
sunlight
of
the
spirit
and
someone
will
melt
ice
question
a
time
question
of
how
thick
it
is
how
close
I
can
hold
it
how
long
I
can
hold
it
if
I
use
both
of
these
prayers
on
this
one
sixty
seven
I'm
asking
god
to
help
me
show
him
something
on
the
prayer
in
the
back
of
the
book
I'm
praying
for
him
some
praying
for
both
people
involved
here
and
what
happens
eventually
is
that
someone
I
just
hated
I
really
hope
that
I
have
a
great
life
and
I
hope
they
have
a
big
spiritual
experience
and
all
that
great
stuff
happens
for
them
and
at
that
point
I
have
forgiven
them
and
it's
not
that
I
did
it
I
received
I
hope
I'm
explaining
that
I
got
here
like
this
locked
up
and
what
you've
taught
me
to
do
is
to
open
to
receive
the
gifts
that
have
always
been
here
has
never
been
gods
and
willingness
to
give
its
been
my
inability
to
receive
so
when
I
forgive
you
I
have
received
the
gift
of
not
hate
you
anymore
and
I
want
to
tell
that
over
and
over
again
the
guy
I
if
we
get
something
more
important
in
here
I
don't
know
what
it
is
the
forgiveness
process
is
so
powerful
and
I
hold
them
there
and
I
the
last
guy
took
about
three
months
and
I
really
don't
care
how
long
this
happened
are
on
how
long
this
takes
when
we're
confused
about
this
acceptance
thing
too
we
are
not
asking
you
to
approve
of
what
they
did
it's
not
unusual
among
us
pretty
good
percentage
of
us
were
abused
as
children
if
you
were
abused
as
a
child
I
want
to
tell
you
right
now
what
they
did
was
wrong
you
did
not
deserve
it
that
child
did
nothing
to
deserve
for
that
to
happen
and
I'm
sick
about
it
I'm
so
sad
that
that
happened
to
you
and
shame
on
them
that
was
not
right
it's
never
gonna
be
right
you
need
to
know
that
we're
not
asking
a
acceptance
does
not
have
to
include
approval
acceptance
is
in
here
acceptance
is
when
I
stop
fighting
on
a
hard
level
something
over
which
I
have
no
power
I
only
get
a
certain
amount
of
spiritual
energy
on
any
given
day
and
if
I
squandered
on
things
over
which
I
have
no
power
I
will
not
have
enough
left
for
today's
assignment
acceptance
is
when
I
step
out
of
the
ring
when
I
stop
fighting
so
this
forgiveness
process
does
not
include
that
you
have
to
approve
of
what
they
did
I
think
that's
very
important
the
next
sentence
for
me
describe
and
I
hold
them
there
and
I
really
I
really
just
don't
care
how
long
it
takes
really
don't
and
I
want
to
pray
in
the
shower
and
drive
in
the
car
and
whatever
you
think
of
these
people
thrown
some
prayers
and
do
the
whole
thing
and
it's
a
process
and
sometimes
it's
very
quick
at
three
or
four
months
not
unusual
on
this
not
at
all
next
sentence
gives
me
my
marching
orders
from
Iran
when
a
person
offended
we
said
to
ourselves
this
is
a
sick
man
how
can
I
be
helpful
to
him
god
save
me
from
being
angry
and
I
will
be
done
where
Ford
retaliate
so
that's
what
I
do
when
somebody
makes
me
mad
now
those
are
my
instructions
we
would
retaliation
argument
we
wouldn't
treat
sick
people
that
way
if
we
do
we
destroy
our
chance
beyond
helpful
paid
seventy
seven
it's
one
on
one
they
rewrote
recently
third
line
they
stuck
something
in
it
wasn't
there
I
swear
if
it
if
it
was
there
in
your
book
don't
be
surprised
it
says
our
real
purpose
to
defend
ourselves
to
be
a
maxim
service
to
god
the
people
about
us
I
thought
for
the
longest
time
it
said
our
real
purpose
is
to
be
a
maximum
service
and
that's
not
what
it
says
is
to
fit
myself
to
be
a
maximum
service
how
do
I
do
that
I
can't
very
well
be
of
service
to
someone
that
I
hate
and
I
have
to
be
available
that
person
shows
up
at
the
door
here
I
have
to
be
available
to
him
I
can't
do
that
if
I
still
hate
in
this
forgiveness
thing
is
so
powerful
and
so
important
continuing
on
sixty
seven
if
we
do
we
destroy
our
chance
of
being
helpful
we
cannot
be
helpful
all
people
at
least
god
will
show
us
how
to
take
a
kind
and
tolerant
view
of
each
and
everyone
referring
what
a
promise
god's
gonna
show
me
how
to
take
it
kindly
intolerant
view
toward
everybody
a
gift
referring
to
our
list
again
putting
out
of
our
minds
wrongs
of
others
have
done
how
are
you
gonna
do
that
if
you
still
hate
him
you
got
someone
that
you
roundly
hate
how
are
you
going
to
put
on
your
mind
what
they
did
and
deal
with
them
some
other
way
I
don't
think
it's
possible
I
think
it's
necessary
to
get
that
hate
poisoned
dog
out
of
myself
before
I
can
do
that
I
tell
you
feel
different
people
will
ask
you
what
happened
you
go
through
this
process
they
will
ask
you
what
happened
they
will
still
be
visible
you
will
look
younger
putting
out
of
our
minds
wrongs
others
have
done
we
resolutely
look
for
own
mistakes
doesn't
say
I'm
looking
for
my
part
do
that
part
which
was
one
of
them
we
got
a
bunch
of
stuff
that
I
bet
you
do
let
me
let
me
knock
up
you
know
what
I
think
it's
enough
for
me
once
you
just
take
it
from
there
we
we
go
another
fifteen
minutes
to
break
and
you
pick
up
there
after
the
next
okay
thanks
Scott
I'm
Bob
still
no
garlic
about
seven
years
ago
I
had
a
guy
with
his
sober
twenty
three
years
come
and
ask
me
to
sponsor
he
was
an
ex
navy
chief
kind
of
blustery
tough
guy
and
he
had
heard
twenty
some
years
before
in
meetings
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous
he
got
it
that
resemblance
something
that's
bad
you're
not
supposed
to
deadly
you're
not
supposed
to
have
resentment
so
he
never
had
one
again
dammit
by
god
I
never
had
one
again
it's
so
I'm
taking
this
guy
through
the
steps
and
we
get
through
the
third
step
and
I
I
said
to
him
I
want
you
to
make
a
list
of
your
resentments
these
phones
was
false
orders
but
this
real
defended
guys
up
type
guy
this
is
resentments
I
don't
have
any
resentments
but
I
just
let
it
go
but
no
don't
bother
me
well
you
can
watch
this
guy
walking
across
the
parking
lot
from
a
hundred
yards
and
always
up
tight
about
some
money
he
needs
he
just
wound
up
tight
and
I
said
you
don't
have
any
reset
bid
city
should
not
I
said
really
yeah
really
I
said
okay
then
we're
going
to
do
something
different
I
want
you
to
make
a
list
of
people
you
feel
smugly
superior
to
this
look
on
his
face
like
all
my
god
is
that
going
to
be
a
long
list
he
didn't
he
knew
that
resentments
were
wrong
and
so
he
deluded
himself
into
believing
that
he
didn't
have
any
it
isn't
that
a
game
that
we
play
in
a
don't
let
anyone
else
catch
you
with
your
spiritual
pants
down
right
so
what
happens
is
is
you
get
your
new
comer
and
if
you're
anything
like
me
your
new
car
when
you
realize
you're
not
supposed
to
have
resentments
okay
I
don't
have
any
anymore
and
that's
not
how
you
get
free
that's
how
you
build
at
all
Sir
that's
how
you
get
sick
inside
and
we
started
the
process
and
if
it
wasn't
for
this
process
on
page
sixty
six
and
sixty
seven
I
am
absolutely
convinced
that
in
my
eleventh
year
of
sobriety
I
would
have
either
drank
again
committed
suicide
or
killed
two
people
and
I'd
be
sitting
in
prison
right
now
when
I
was
in
thank
god
that
when
I
was
for
a
little
over
four
years
sober
I
went
through
this
process
in
in
between
four
years
and
eleven
years
I
took
a
lot
of
guys
through
this
so
I
understood
it
because
you
know
it
I
think
sometimes
you
do
all
this
stuff
and
you're
not
really
sure
why
you're
doing
it
because
it
doesn't
seem
like
you
really
need
it
I
mean
it's
good
but
why
am
I
doing
this
really
and
you
don't
know
that
you're
forging
a
weapon
that
one
day
you're
very
life
is
going
to
be
to
depend
upon
it
that
something's
gonna
come
at
you
and
if
you
don't
have
the
certain
principles
in
place
you're
not
going
to
have
a
chance
when
I
was
in
my
eleventh
year
sobriety
I've
been
sober
over
ten
years
and
I
found
I
was
married
to
a
gal
that
our
tour
for
over
four
years
we
had
a
little
girl
the
love
of
my
life
I
will
see
her
on
in
Barcelona
on
Sunday
she's
now
nineteen
years
old
it
we
had
some
marriage
problems
but
I
didn't
understand
what
was
going
on
into
she
came
to
me
one
day
and
said
I
wanted
to
divorce
and
I
I
realize
there's
a
problem
here
and
I
talked
her
out
of
it
we
went
to
started
going
to
marriage
counseling
and
after
being
in
marriage
counseling
for
a
little
while
she
said
to
me
she
said
I
don't
want
to
go
to
counseling
anymore
I
just
want
out
I
live
in
Las
Vegas
it's
an
unusual
town
you
can
get
divorced
there
so
quickly
you
you
haven't
even
paid
the
master
card
bill
in
the
divorce
yet
you're
single
two
weeks
I
mean
you're
it's
it's
just
it's
just
like
that
and
we
got
divorced
on
a
Thursday
the
next
day
Friday
my
daughter
and
just
ex
wife
moved
in
with
one
of
my
spot
sees
my
favorite
spots
in
my
best
friend
and
I
found
out
that
they'd
been
sleeping
together
the
whole
last
year
of
my
marriage
and
everybody
in
a
a
new
about
it
except
me
now
I'm
over
ten
years
sober
you've
been
telling
me
for
ten
years
there's
no
such
thing
as
a
justifiable
resentment
well
I
got
one
now
and
I
I
get
sick
sometimes
on
an
intuitive
level
I
want
this
kind
of
guys
I
can
walk
into
a
media
room
of
fifty
people
and
I
will
intuitively
know
who's
going
to
cosign
my
crap
you
know
just
gravitate
right
to
gravitate
right
to
the
people
that
say
things
to
me
like
but
didn't
you
just
buy
a
new
car
no
go
yes
I
didn't
and
the
nail
holes
from
the
cross
open
up
a
little
bigger
in
my
hands
right
there's
a
little
ego
justification
about
being
right
about
them
and
feeling
that
smug
superiority
I
would've
done
filling
the
self
righteousness
of
I've
never
done
you
know
like
you
know
those
eagle
lies
you
tell
yourself
but
if
you
have
the
same
disease
of
the
spirit
that
I
have
you
can't
stay
that
way
you
will
die
you
will
die
and
so
I
had
to
take
this
process
this
resentment
with
both
of
them
through
this
part
of
the
book
to
get
free
and
one
of
the
first
things
that
really
hit
me
it
says
we
we
were
in
it
you
could
almost
put
this
in
the
form
of
a
question
on
the
bottom
of
page
sixty
six
the
second
line
the
second
to
last
full
paragraph
or
was
I
prepared
to
look
at
it
from
an
entirely
different
angle
I
immediately
after
the
divorce
after
finding
out
about
it
I
was
but
eventually
if
you're
like
me
you
get
like
the
rat
you
don't
want
any
more
cheese
you
want
out
of
the
trap
if
you're
like
me
eventually
you
would
rather
be
three
then
write
about
them
you
hear
what
I'm
saying
a
vanishingly
you've
grown
spiritually
enough
to
chill
values
serenity
rather
than
be
in
right
six
people
who
never
get
better
I
would
rather
be
right
they
would
never
they
would
read
the
value
being
right
more
than
they
do
being
freer
happy
but
I
wanted
to
be
free
and
so
I
was
prepared
to
look
at
it
from
an
entirely
different
angle
so
what
would
that
be
up
to
this
point
I'm
looking
at
them
as
in
the
first
three
columns
as
from
the
point
of
view
of
the
prosecuting
attorney
right
I
got
my
case
built
against
them
so
if
I'm
going
to
look
at
it
from
an
entirely
different
angle
what
what
I
have
to
do
what
I
have
to
cross
the
court
room
and
all
of
a
sudden
sit
at
the
defense
table
and
start
looking
at
the
case
from
that
table
and
through
that
perspective
and
most
of
us
don't
want
to
do
that
because
that
that
means
we
may
not
be
right
but
I
wanted
to
be
free
so
I
started
to
do
that
in
and
it
says
here
at
the
bottom
of
the
page
after
spends
the
whole
page
tell
me
the
steps
going
to
kill
me
here's
what
it
says
to
do
in
order
to
be
free
it
says
we
realize
that
the
people
who
had
wronged
us
were
perhaps
spiritually
sick
yeah
yeah
I
get
that
they're
sick
and
they're
stupid
they're
idiots
too
you
know
I
get
that
that's
not
all
what
it
says
it
goes
on
to
say
though
we
did
not
like
their
symptoms
and
the
way
they
disturbed
us
then
they
like
ourselves
that
they
that
they
like
me
but
there
are
like
me
we're
spiritually
sick
that
they
don't
like
me
no
no
no
no
I'm
smugly
superior
I'm
not
like
they're
like
me
in
other
words
I
have
to
get
down
off
my
high
horse
my
throne
of
judgment
and
come
right
down
and
really
realize
something
to
realize
that
if
I
stood
in
their
shoes
and
I
had
all
the
emotions
going
on
in
all
of
this
stuff
going
on
inside
of
them
that
was
going
on
inside
of
inside
of
me
that
was
going
on
inside
of
them
could
I
really
get
it
but
I
would
have
done
the
exact
same
thing
I
may
not
have
liked
myself
for
doing
it
but
can
I
see
my
humanness
enough
to
see
help
you
know
I
could
have
been
sick
like
that
and
I
could
have
done
that
can
I
get
that
or
do
I
need
to
be
on
the
high
horse
do
I
need
to
still
feel
smugly
superior
and
what
I
what
I
started
to
see
when
I
put
myself
in
their
place
well
I
tell
you
it
was
not
a
pretty
picture
I
am
self
delusional
I
would've
told
you
up
until
that
point
all
these
fantasy
stories
about
my
marriage
what
a
great
provider
I
was
it
what
a
great
husband
and
how
I
never
cheated
on
my
wife
and
I
provide
water
a
new
car
and
provided
a
great
house
for
her
and
all
this
other
stuff
but
when
I
put
myself
in
her
position
what
I
realized
is
I
married
a
girl
who
who
put
her
whole
life
into
this
relationship
thank
you
in
no
time
at
all
she
found
herself
married
to
a
guy
who
is
trying
to
build
a
business
that
work
seventy
plus
hours
a
week
who
sponsored
a
lot
of
guys
whose
on
several
committees
who
would
come
home
late
at
night
so
exhausted
mostly
to
just
go
to
sleep
there's
a
lady
in
in
the
family
afterwards
that
it
really
hit
me
one
day
it
says
that
we
became
a
motion
only
an
accessible
from
his
see
the
real
truth
is
in
the
areas
that
we're
we're
she
needed
me
to
be
I
wasn't
I
was
good
at
all
the
trappings
but
the
real
one
on
one
end
of
the
sea
I
got
married
a
couple
years
sober
I
didn't
have
a
clue
how
to
do
that
stuff
and
I'll
tell
you
about
me
I
I'm
the
kind
of
guy
that
after
about
three
or
four
months
I've
told
you
all
the
funny
stories
about
my
life
and
childhood
everything
and
now
I
run
out
of
things
to
talk
about
and
I
can't
stand
the
silence
so
I
stay
busy
and
I
work
and
I
was
convenient
but
I
was
in
a
position
to
take
over
this
company
a
company
that
I'm
glad
I
have
to
this
day
I'm
going
to
have
to
interrupt
we've
got
four
cars
across
the
street
and
gone
be
there
long
there's
an
astra
S.
D.
fifty
six
DHL
Corsa
S.
P.
five
four
Z.
R.
E.
Meghan
S.
F.
O.
four
FEC
and
the
Suzuki
S.
D.
O.
Z.
E.
P.
V.
if
you
have
plans
for
them
for
later
this
afternoon
you
might
want
to
move
him
right
now
I'm
sorry
Bob
okay
yes
he
has
managed
to
do
that
and
we're
gonna
break
it
in
a
couple
of
minutes
here
sorry
but
we
need
to
do
is
to
store
your
car
yeah
right
all
right
finish
the
story
yeah
so
what
I
started
what
I
started
to
realize
the
desolation
and
the
loneliness
that
she
must
have
experience
and
I
started
to
see
the
truth
in
all
call
terms
we
talk
about
awakenings
and
awakening
is
means
that
you're
going
to
pull
your
head
out
of
your
****
and
see
the
truth
you're
going
to
see
you
in
the
way
that
they
saw
you
and
when
I
saw
myself
in
that
marriage
the
way
that
my
ex
wife
saw
me
I
tell
you
I
was
not
proud
of
what
I
saw
I
was
saw
a
guy
who
conveniently
worked
a
lot
because
he
didn't
know
what
else
to
do
a
guy
who
used
the
excuse
of
alcoholism
and
it
is
in
the
it's
it's
a
reality
I
have
to
go
to
means
I
have
to
sponsor
all
those
people
that's
true
but
it's
also
very
convenient
for
a
guy
who
doesn't
know
what
else
to
do
then
I
started
to
sense
her
desolation
and
loneliness
so
when
I
really
realized
the
sickness
that
would
must've
drove
her
to
cheat
on
her
husband
I
knew
that
I
was
the
guy
who
initiated
that
intentionally
no
my
sponsor
said
one
time
he
said
you're
not
guilty
for
anything
you've
ever
done
drunk
or
sober
but
you
are
responsible
I'm
the
guy
who
did
it
what
I
really
saw
that
I
I
thought
to
myself
my
god
I
would
have
easily
done
the
same
thing
and
probably
hated
myself
for
doing
it
you
know
Karen
really
had
a
tough
time
she
was
lucky
to
have
stayed
sober
through
that
when
I
went
to
her
and
made
my
amends
to
her
partner
not
only
to
make
amends
for
telling
this
victim's
story
about
involving
her
as
the
wicked
witch
of
the
east
and
all
this
crap
it
was
just
a
bunch
a
nonsense
not
only
derail
remains
for
that
then
have
to
go
to
all
those
people
tell
the
truth
but
I
only
managed
to
hurt
I
had
to
say
to
work
I
said
I
want
you
to
know
how
sorry
I
am
that
I
was
just
to
sleep
in
my
in
that
marriage
and
never
realize
what
you
needed
and
that
I
was
still
vacant
in
that
marriage
that
drove
you
to
do
something
I
know
you
would
have
never
done
I
know
that
that's
not
you
and
I
don't
and
I
said
words
of
that
nature
to
her
and
she
started
to
cry
then
she
started
to
cry
because
I
think
all
she
ever
wanted
me
to
do
was
get
it
all
she
ever
wanted
me
to
do
was
understand
right
but
I
was
too
wrapped
up
in
myself
to
ever
see
past
myself
to
what
was
going
on
with
her
see
we
heard
a
lot
of
people
in
our
lives
not
out
of
malice
but
we're
just
asleep
at
the
wheel
I'm
just
not
I
just
don't
get
what's
going
on
I
can't
see
it
through
your
eyes
I
can't
see
past
me
but
I
was
able
to
do
the
same
thing
with
him
and
it
was
really
easy
and
then
I
was
finally
able
to
come
back
to
the
the
last
part
of
the
step
in
it
says
after
the
prayer
in
the
last
part
says
referring
to
our
list
again
putting
out
of
our
minds
the
wrong
so
there's
a
done
we
resolutely
look
for
mistakes
coupled
that
lines
down
and
said
we
tried
to
disregard
the
other
person
involved
in
parley
we're
not
looking
for
a
part
that
is
it's
dangerous
to
think
in
those
terms
if
if
I'm
going
to
look
for
my
part
okay
I'm
gonna
look
at
my
part
there's
another
part
of
sure
and
did
you
notice
how
there's
just
happens
to
be
a
little
bigger
you
can't
look
at
your
park
without
unconsciously
reserving
the
right
to
think
that
they
have
a
part
you
know
how
they
came
to
me
and
I
used
to
say
that
meetings
I
sell
we
look
for
our
part
and
then
I
took
a
guide
through
the
steps
and
he
went
to
make
amends
to
someone
and
it
turned
badly
on
him
and
he
ended
up
getting
it
all
was
just
a
bad
deal
I
got
a
little
got
another
resentment
now
as
a
result
of
it
and
I
were
talking
about
what
happened
and
he
went
to
the
guy
to
make
amends
and
after
clearing
up
his
heart
he
standing
there
waiting
for
the
guy
to
deal
with
his
part
the
guy
never
dealt
with
his
parts
we
got
this
because
he
reserves
the
right
to
think
in
terms
of
him
having
a
part
the
book
says
we
disregard
the
other
person
involved
entirely
it
doesn't
matter
what
you've
done
and
if
if
I
do
that
if
I'm
serious
about
that
then
I'm
really
looking
at
my
life
in
a
new
light
because
what
if
what
if
I
had
to
look
at
my
what
kind
of
the
sun
I
once
and
I
couldn't
hide
behind
all
the
bad
things
my
parents
did
what
if
I
had
to
look
at
what
kind
of
a
son
I
was
in
its
own
white
what
if
I
had
the
perfect
parents
then
what
kind
of
a
son
I
was
what
if
I
couldn't
hide
in
the
shadow
of
their
imperfections
in
their
wrong
doings
what
if
I
had
to
actually
stand
up
and
be
a
man
and
look
at
what
I
did
on
its
own
I'm
telling
you
it's
a
different
vision
see
I
am
an
expert
in
here
at
hiding
my
selfish
vindictive
judgmental
bad
behavior
in
the
light
of
anything
I
could
fault
find
wrong
with
you
I
could
I
was
the
kind
of
employee
if
I
had
a
boss
and
I
could
catch
you
doing
something
wrong
it
was
almost
like
it
was
a
license
to
be
a
lot
about
lousy
employee
sometimes
is
a
license
to
steal
from
me
if
I
can
find
you
do
it
in
the
front
if
I
was
in
a
relationship
and
I
and
I
caught
you
cheating
on
me
once
it
was
like
seven
get
some
free
tickets
you
know
what
I'm
saying
I
just
when
you
lose
anything
you
did
wrong
as
an
excuse
to
go
to
justify
all
kinds
of
selfish
self
seeking
behavior
but
for
the
first
time
in
my
life
I
had
to
stand
up
and
I
had
to
look
at
my
list
here
in
its
own
light
but
I
couldn't
hide
behind
the
wrong
doings
of
others
and
when
you
look
at
it
in
that
light
it's
really
different
what
kind
of
a
son
am
I
know
not
a
very
good
one
was
I
guilty
no
I
was
asleep
I
didn't
know
and
what
you
know
it's
never
the
same
you
know
they
say
the
truth
will
set
you
free
it
will
give
you
a
bad
day
or
two
first
though
I'm
telling
let's
take
a
break
thirteen
minute
eight
second
ranked
asking
me
asking
if
you
want
to
put
a
question
in