The 12 Steps at the Space To Recover conference in Sedalia, CO

10 times and realized 10 minutes has gone behind stuff like that. But it's always, only, always only about stuff that I can't do anything about. And once I put that out in the light either to myself or to other people or gratitude list or whatever, it's much, much clearer. And I don't, I can continue if I want, but it's like, what's the point?

They came to believe that a power gave them ourselves to restore us to sanity. As I sort of shared earlier, I could not have accepted

that that power had to be exhausted in the conventional sense

when I came in. I'm so glad that it wasn't.

And I'm so glad as I shared earlier, that my sponsor who slipped me right over step three in terms of doing battle because I was geared for it.

And one of the things that says in 12 and 12, I think it's at the end of step 6, is that the first step is the only step we have to work perfectly.

We have to admit total power assistance and total unmanageability in order to go forward, but that's it. Everything else, we just wait. We just do the very best we can do any given day. And somehow that's helped me a lot. It's helped me, first of all, when I try to reclaim a sense of power and manageability, that's certainly been useful, but I just either go all the way or not. And secondly, that wherever I am in any of the other steps,

it's just the best I can do that day.

And, you know, with Step 2, what I've come to believe over the years is that, yeah, we have 12 steps, but some of them have higher risers than others. You know, some are low and some are high. And in my experience, the very highest risers. Step two, I think, I think that is the most likely place for me for other people to get caught,

to really bleed, that there is a power greater than I was myself or ourselves, that that power is really going to do something for me

and that I really am start raving delusional man in my disease. Those are really tough things and people don't want to go there. Now I understand that particularly the thing about that, that God will actually do something for me. I suppose that's the most common thing I hear. That's a step two thing and,

and I just have to empathize because I know that feeling, you know, and at the same time, it's still just a step and we just do the best we can and then we go on through the others.

God as we understood Him, as I mentioned earlier, is for me took the form of taking on a relationship with God that was not part of my childhood, was not part of my upbringing, not even part of my profession.

In fact, talking about, I remember my mentor, who at that time was in his mid to late 70s,

which is a wonderful human being. And I've been sober just about a year for the less than a year. And I was meeting with him. His name was Harry. And I said, Harry, you know, I just, I just developed this sense of God that's really powerful. And, and I, I immense respect for him. And he turned to me and he practically begged me to not talk about God in my work.

And I thought, this is bizarre.

He was right. He often was. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with my belief that he wasn't suggesting that in the least. He was just saying no, Some people just can't handle it, not the way you're talking about it. And it really stunned me at the time. And yet I realized that this God, as we understood him is everybody's, we, you know, and everybody's working on a different way of doing that and has different backgrounds and histories and disappointments and, and hopes and,

and they all put it together in a way and they had different Step 2 experiences or whatever certain.

And, and that phrase has become more important to me. Those italics overtime. And of course they're repeated twice in the steps. And I think that's important. The 4th step, I was telling someone

earlier,

I remember reading a book once, it was not a 12 step book. That was about 12 steps and it made a big deal about fearless, more inventory. At first I resented him and then I kind of let it soak in for a while and realize what they were really trying to say is this. This opportunity to look at ourselves as close to objectively as possible is really a great gift and to look at the assets and the liabilities, to look at the craft and look at the good stuff.

And that's what the fearless part is. And of course, you know, I can get into fears rapidly as anybody. And I, I would like to say I'm driven by 100 forms of fear like it says in the big book. And I would have told you that I was, but my sponsor once said I was whining to him about something about fear. He said, write down 100 forms of fear and I couldn't get past like 72 or 78 or somewhere. And it was so humiliating. I couldn't even come up with 100 forms of fear. But,

but the fact is it's a familiar companion because I lose trust. I think God isn't going to be there for me when I need them. And it's not my experience. It's just my head that tells me that. So the 4th step is a chance to do this fearless thing and, and to do it all of our lives. A lot of people use many different formats. A lot of people they'll say, well, I use the a, a format. I used 4 columns and the A format is 3 columns

and it's on page 65.

And I've become quite attached to it, not so much because I'm a big book fanatic, but as I said earlier, it turns out to be the most straightforward, efficient and easy way to do a really successful 4th step. And I've done all sorts of different ways of doing it. So I had sort of stumbled into that. And basically I'll just say the secret because it's not a secret, but I mean, the the thing that makes it work is to do it by columns, to list all of the people, situations, institutions and

between them and just do that. If someone actually does that, which they often don't, but if they do it, it takes about 30 minutes.

And then do the middle column, which might well take a month or two and sometimes less, but frequently that and then do the third column, which is going to take 15 minutes no matter how you do it. I

the 4th column is usually added is what was my contribution to this situation? How did I set it up? And I think that's an extremely important column, but it's not a fourth step column. It's a fifth step column. And it gets added when the 5th step, it gets done when the 5th step. This happens. So when I do four steps and when I have people do them with me, we do, they do the three columns. And yet, as often as I say that

I just had this experience on Thursday, people have trouble understanding. It doesn't make any sense. Someone brought me into a four step list and and it was just 12345 all in line. And so I made her just take the same words,

same people, go back and put it each or two or four inches or a whole page. And you know, between them and the way she didn't want to do it. And yet it will make her job so much easier. And actually we did one sort of experimental and I think she began to get the hang of it.

I really, I found this works in my experience with Forcebar because I've done quite a few and I probably would do another one. But what gave me, I must have been a lot of pleasure is there's a couple of a a guys, Joe and Charlie, who do big book study things all over the United States on cruise ships everywhere. And usually their most recent series is available on tapes and CDs pretty quickly.

And that's exactly how they do it. And I thought, oh good, I'm doing something. Other people think this good idea too.

5th step, of course, is the biggie. As I said, we get used to that idea that God knows all about us and

and there's something about being honest with another person. And if someone does a fifth step with me, it takes them a while to get into the routine because they don't want to do it. But at the end of each, you know, person, what happened? What was the root cause

then? What was your contribution to? And of course, there are patterns and we all have patterns. And one of those common patterns is I'm still holding on to that resentment. I am not going to let it go. It's mine, you know? And of course, when you four or five times round on this, it means, oh, I'm really making a choice to hold on to that resentment, aren't I? Or that fear, or that lust image, whatever sex image.

Another real common pattern is wishing the situation had been different. I'm holding on to this fantasy that it could have been different than the way it was.

And again, what is my contribution to that?

Something that I think is exactly what needs to happen in the fifth step.

So those are, that's the ways to Fortune 5, four and five come out for me. And and my experience is people try to be thorough. I bet people want to do incredibly exhausted footsteps. One guy is, I think took a total of 8 hours to listen to

and I've had other people do them and we get through them in two or three. It's pretty rare to go under three hours, but

but what I found that it's the exhaustive is helpful as long as it's exhausting in terms of types of situations. In terms of listing every situation, it doesn't seem to be as critical because it's not the exact nature of our wrongs. Frequently turns out not to be so much the what I did or didn't do, but why was I doing it again?

What is the pattern? What was the character defect that set me up over and over again, and almost always in the what was my contribution to it? That becomes very clear

and then the person has the choice. I want to hold on to this character defect or and that's puts us on six and seven. We're entirely ready and humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. Those are just everyday steps. I think there's a reason why they're the shortest steps in the whole big book in terms of paragraphs. And they're pretty much equal sized in in 12 and 12. And

one of the most useful sentences in the

12:00 and 12:00 is the very last page, step 7. And I refer to it frequently both in my hand and also out loud with people. And that's just what gets us going On our defects is certainly true. To me, the chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear, primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded.

Living on a basis of unsatisfied demands. We were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration,

therefore no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. And then here comes the insole. If you're not going to add injury to insult here, the difference between a demand and a simple, plain request is simple request is plain to anyone. Oh yeah, right. That's why I knew this program.

But in fact, that's the truth that when I change from a demand to a request, suddenly what the other person instead of getting my first of all my fears getting going. And then secondly, the other person's defense is getting going, which is the same thing.

It becomes a conversation and you know, conversations are not threatening, but but assault and defense is is kind of a no win situation.

8th and 9th making a list. My own feeling on except eight out of doing them and working with other people is that it's just what it says. It's a list of all people we think we've harmed and becoming willing to make an instrumental. I have no problem with people. In fact, I want people with as many names as possible on your eight step list. I tell them, and if you do just a list of names and maybe one or two words,

how you harm the person. It typically takes about 20 to 30 minutes.

I there's a rule of 800 that applies here, however, and that is most people, including myself, will try to put off doing the 8th step about 800 times as long as it takes to actually do it. Now, usually we use numbers like three and seven, you know, in this case it's 800. And, and you'll find it's amazingly accurate if you start keeping track. But I tried to convince people, just do it, do the list, just get it written down. Then, sure, magical things happen in the sharing because the sponsor asked this really awkward question,

how did you harm them? And my sponsor, I would say how I thought I harmed this woman I'd acted out with. And he said you are a true jerk and you were taking advantage of someone who was willing, but you were taking advantage and all that kind of stuff. But you know, what harm did you do, you know? Well, I guess probably no harm. I just was doing that terrible stuff I did when I was drunk. Did you harm her? No,

that was a tough one because I really assumed that that was the only probable, only possible response. But he said you don't make amends to people you got drunk with.

And that's a place where 12 Step recovery and therapy really diverge. They come back together, but they diverge there. And all I can say is I found for me it's been more helpful and I've done both. So anyway, Nightstep made recommends. Now this is where the rubber hits the road and people want to put this off, of course, including myself. To such people, wherever possible accept them to do so, to injure them or others.

I had to write out

even if they were going to be face to face. I had to write out all my amends and share with my sponsor before I made him. The only one I didn't do that with it is the one that ended up booting me out of my career for a while. So he was right. And every amends I had to change dramatically because I was either explaining, you know, why I had done this harm or excusing, well, you, you'll want to know that I'm in 12 step recovered now. I can't tell you what

that's what I mean. And or throwing it back on them. You know, I was really so taken aback by that day when you assaulted me that that I ended up assaulting you when I was wrong. You know, you made me take all that kind of stuff out. And so it just became a clear statement of I was wrong, blah, blah, blah. I ask you forgiveness. And that formula has turned out to be the intense. That is the same formula

turned out to be the the magic one for me

because it's so clear. And it's first of all, it's really clear to say I was wrong. I, you know about this, there's something about that word wrong. And the general advice I've received is to ban the word apologize. And that's turned out to be a pretty good rule,

not because it's a bad word, but just because it's been abused so terribly. And then I ask you forgiveness. That's the humbling part. I have to ask forgiveness from these people, you know, whatever. And and it really is humbling. And

with my son, when I got sober, this is 10th step now. I kept raging at him, went on for a while and I would go make an amends. I was wrong. I ask you for use. And finally, it was so humiliating to say that second part over again that I stopped raging. I decided it wasn't worth making amends anymore. I was finished with that. So the only thing to do is don't create a situation. And we had a conversation about it a few months later,

and he said, you know, I'm really glad you don't get mad at me like that anymore. It's like

step 11 for me is the daily is the most important step for me just because it's the one I literally have to work on a daily basis.

I could say so much on step 11 that I'm going to deal with it. I just

saying that letting it go, I hope you're seeing it and hearing it in some extent here today and Step 12.

I remember the first time I called Hardy and, and I, I don't even remember what I said, but I said something about not doing it differently. Harvey, this is really amazing. And he said you're having a spiritual awakening. And I remember that feeling.

Wow.

Because even with all the work

I still had partly that didn't think it worked for me, you know, And to have that confirmation that the result of these steps, if not only a spiritual awakening, it's a spiritual awakening that I can have. And sometimes it's a spiritual awakening like shutting up, which I'm going to do in about 30 seconds. Sometimes it was a spiritual awakening, like not getting into dangerous situation.

I tell people the single most powerful recovery tool we have is this thing attached to our ankle,

and the most likely problem that people have is when they don't use it. If I use my feet, I'm most likely gonna have a good day 'cause if I'm in a dangerous situation, I'll leave. But that's the kind of thing that spiritually means. They're not always big deals in terms of some mystical sense, but there are always big deals in my sense of, oh, this really can work for me. And if it can work for me, it can work for anybody.

And then, of course, we carry this message and

practice principles in all our affairs. But we said we'd take a break, let's do it, and let's come back together. What I want to do when we come back is I'm going to start right up with the very first page of the A&B Book of the Blind page. So that's where we'll begin.

Ten step 10, she says, you know, it says when we were wrong, promptly admitted it. It doesn't say if we were wrong or just in case I made a mistake this one time or you know, we will be wrong. And that's been very helpful to me when I first heard her say it, that one of the nice things about step 10 is there's 100% likelihood I will be wrong about this, that or the other thing.

And it's not, that's not the issue. And I often think it is, you know, it's not the issue is what do I do?

And probably, of course, is a variable concept, you know, probably can range from seconds to years, decades or never. One of the things that definitely happens over time if people stay around, the program is probably shorter and shorter. Early on, Harvey said to me that, David, this is a program of comfort. And he didn't mean being lazy or, you know, having things go easily all the time.

He meant that I will learn to live inside the boundaries, the behaviors, the thoughts, whatever,

where I can be comfortable. And equally importantly, if I am uncomfortable, I need to do something about it.

Umm. And so Ted step is the way in which

I'm allowed to stay comfortable. If I'm wrong, I start obsessing. Usually I start, I'll get tense, I'll want to. I can always, always tell if I need to work step 10 if I want to blurt something out because that's often my way of doing with attention. And I don't always catch myself, but I do most of the time. And,

and just, you know, take a break. You know, we use that acronym HALT. HALT, you know, and hungry, angry, like you, tired. Most people know it and can say it and all that. What most people, I'm including myself, forget is that what it means is stop, you know, don't go any further and go to bed. You know, eat dinner, call somebody, whatever is needed.

You know, write a fourth step, whatever it is, but whatever it is, whatever you're doing, stop. And of course, my ego says you can't stop. This is important. You seem to commitment. You said Boo, Boo, Boo. They want this from you. Boo, Boo, Boo.

Stop.

My favorite paragraph in the entire 12 and 12 is in step 10, and

since it was introduced, I'll read it. It's our opening reading. Let me close the door.

This is probably done more to recenter me when I'm getting weird and I have ample opportunities to remember it. And so I finally just memorized it because I knew I wouldn't always have the book with me. I was on page 92. Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally I'll as well as frequently wrong.

And then we approach true tolerance and see what real love for our fellows actually means.

It will become more and more evident as we go forward that it is pointless to become angry or to get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from the pains of growing up.

If there is anyone paragraph that is allowed me to stay in my marriage and to not take the normal stuff of life and make it much, much worse, it's that one. When my wife or anybody important to me is upset with me about something or, you know, whatever, if I can just remember, it's pointless to get angry or be hurt by people who like ourselves, like us,

are suffering from the pains of growing up and, you know, growing up. Growing pains are no laughing matter for anybody

and and we have that in color. So

step 10 to So on the inside cover of the AB book, there's a blank page.

And my sponsor of taught this, My current sponsor taught this to Jess. Jess taught it to me. And for what it's worth, if you care to keep track of this, I'll pass it on to you. And it's been a great gift for any number of reasons that I'll talk about as we go through. And on that blank page, he had me right now. He had me write it in pencil. But the truth is I annotate my book anyway, so you couldn't make any difference to me.

And that was We begin with a blank and open mind,

just like this page.

We begin just like this page I had. We begin with a blank and open mind

and then he had me drew a little arrow

to the right and the number 86, which meant turn to page 86.

So that's after you've written that. If you care to do it,

turn to age 86

and then 2/3 of the way down the page is a paragraph that begins on awakening. And

he had me write in C for cover and then a little arrow pointing to the word on. And I actually put a little half bracket because that's the system I use,

which means begin there. And here's what he had in mind on awakening. Let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self pity, dishonest or self seeking motives. Under these conditions, we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all

Davis brains to use our thought. Life will be placed on the much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong rodents.

In thinking about our day, we may face a decision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration and intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We're often surprised how the right answers come after we tried this for a while. What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind.

Then he had me do a little end mark. I use a half bracket again, and then a little arrow to the right again. And November 25,

so go to page 25.

At 25 he had me mark the beginning at There is a solution and I wrote in the 87 so I knew where I was coming from and with somebody who has the book, please read that paragraph. There is a solution, any other

there is a solution. Almost none of us, almost none of us like this self searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living in. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing

left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.

We have found much of heaven, and we have been rocketed into the 4th dimension of existence of which we have not even dreamed. And that's where the end mark came after Dream and then the arrow and a 63.

So the next page would be 63. I'm going to go back through this, but I thought we'd do fairly quickly, but I thought we'd do the pieces first.

And on page 63 he basically had me bracket the third step prayer. So beginning with God, Ioffer myself an ending with I will always.

So that's where the brackets go. And then,

well, we just did it at the beginning, so we won't do it again. And then after the thy will always

the arrow said to page 76. So you have to say 76

and on 76 the brackets were around the 7th step prayer there. And somebody please read it through the Army. Anybody.

My creator

I'm now wearing

so you need to have.

My Creator, knowing that she should have all of these, good and bad, pray that you now remove them in every single defective character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my trouble. Granby Strange as I go out from here to do your bidding. Amen.

And this one person, they pointed out to me, this is the first prayer in the big book that hasn't, even after

I don't know if that means anything. And then the arrow after the Amen or I put it in the left margin was to page 77, just the next page.

This one is a real sleeper. It's been there all along. And yet with my sponsor made me look at it separately. It really didn't. And it's just the third physical line of the page, beginning with our real purpose. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves, to be of maximum service to God and the people about us. And then end of the bracket. And that really for some reason that really granted was something about taking it out of the context

and and it's kind of like that primary purpose for the group

in Tradition 5. This was like primary purpose for in this case.

And then after the people about us, the arrow page 85

and this is there. This is the there's three more. This is the first one of the three

and it begins with. It is easy when someone read that paragraph

is easy, to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do. For alcohol in the subtle, of course we would substitute lust in our heads, and

they're not cured of alcohol. Sexology. What we really have is the daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into our all of our activities. How can I best serve the I will not mind be done. These are thoughts which must go with us constantly.

We can exercise our willpower along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will, and that's where the end bracket would go. Proper use of the wheel and then the arrows to page 89.

in Page 89, it's just the first two paragraphs, the beginning of practical experience and ending with our lives. And would someone read those two paragraphs anyway?

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other sexaholes.

It works when other activities fail. This is our 12th suggestion. Carry this message to other sexahomas. You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember, they are very ill.

Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends. This is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss you. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. And that's the end of the section there in the arrow to go to page 69.

And on page 69, it begins about a little over halfway down the page of the paragraph begins In this way, you know, it's just two sentences. In this way, we tried to shape the sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We suggested each relation to this test. Was it selfish or not?

And then that's the end of this little. Is it nine? I think 9 things are 10

when he passed this on to me and I did it every day for a while and now I just do it now and again. I

it really, there are many parts of the big book I like and many of them are actually on this little trail.

Partly it gets me into all the pieces or not all many pieces of the book, but partly it really picks up some pieces that have just been so important to me. Lots of people have asked me and I certainly had times when I was very actively wondering this myself. What is healthy sexuality? What is a kind of sexual relationship that's OK with, you know, the only other program that's kind of

like SA in this respect is owing and because people keep eating food and couples keep and, you know, engaging in sexual activity, not always, but frequently. And is it what makes healthy eating? What makes healthy sex? It's perfectly good question. The answers in these two paragraphs and especially in those two sentences. You know, we review our own conduct over the years past where we've been selfish, dishonest or considered OK. This is in fact step four, of course, but it's also just working the steps and going back over our lives.

Who would we hurt 8-9? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? That's sort of our contribution. Where did we get it? Where do we? Where were we at fault? What should we have done instead? We get this down on paper and looked at it and then and we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test. Was it selfish or not?

My sponsor asked me and I did this with quite a while ago now and then I passed it on to others in the meantime.

So write up a St. and sound ideal for your future sex life. What's it going to look like? It's very interesting exercise to do and then to share it and to remember, as it says, that our sex powers are God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly nor selfishly, nor to be despised and loved. Page 89 That part that we came from to get to here

is still the other than the feet,

still the most practical and the most powerful practical tool for sobriety. And that is if I'm struggling with

wanting to lust or with a lust hit or, you know, fantasy or whatever it is. If I work with another sexaholic, which almost always means simply calling somebody or going to a meeting, it'll go away. And and not only that, if I do it over and over again, my whole life will take on new meaning. This, this is not just for other people, it's for me. And I can't tell you it probably happens on the order of once a day. I don't want to exaggerate, but I think it's pretty close to true. Or someone who's just got they've been on the Internet, you know, they

called some woman that they had a phone number or something like that. And and they said they'll say, and I thought of calling you and I didn't do it. And I say because it would have stopped it, right? And they always say, yeah. I mean, we know that in our gut that if we actually get on our knees, we actually make the phone call, it's going to stop it. And we don't want to stop it, which is why we have to get back further from the edge because we're at that point. It's hopeless. But. But this is this is the thing that that really

does it in practical terms. Page 85 is that wonderful part about the spiritual program of action investing on our world, the daily reprieve.

And one of the things I like about in addition to the focus on how can I best serve revival, not mine be done,

is the reminder that what we are offered and what is there for me to accept is a spiritual solution to a extremely difficult problem that causes problems for me and for other people, my sexual addiction. And and this is a spiritual solution that works if I keep it maintained, if I keep using it. And there's all sorts of other distractions that come along that are physical solutions. You know, a lot of people had filters on the Internet. Fine, I've never found one that works, but

go ahead if you like it. People give other people their money, their wallet, their charge cards, their ATM cards, whatever. Fine, I've never yet seen anybody couldn't get around it. But that's fine if you want to do it because the real solution is going to be a spiritual solution. It's going to be our relationship with the power greater than ourselves and and people are well willing welcome to try out their emotional and physical solutions. It's it's just I if they work, more power to them. The only time

work is if someone probably wasn't really one of us in the 1st place, wasn't an addict. And I bet people like that, quite a few actually, who their lives are out of control. They come to SA for a while, they stop acting up, they go away and they're fine. But they weren't addicts because that's not an harvest of choices to be fine. And for people who, you know, really are addicts and belong here, we'll try everything. We think it's easier, softer way, but this is what's going to do it. That's what does it for me.

Page 77

As I said that sentence just jumped out at me when he pulled it out like this on a real purpose is to fit ourselves to be a maximum service to God and the people about us

and I forget this frequently people have expectations of me and yet I have to recenter on that is it might be serviced for my higher power to God. As I understand and then being serviced to people about I've had all sorts of people say well I've done a lot of that and it doesn't work for me or I get crazy or my codependency gets kicked off. I really think that in every case where I've had any extended experience with the person

that there was still this element. I have to do this to make so and so happy. My husband, my wife, my, you know, employers, my coworkers,

whatever

there's that that is still as it says in Page 98, as long as we place dependence on other people ahead of dependence on God, we simply are not going to stop drinking. And it'd be nice if that were the case, but but it's not it's it's just the seven step prayer is that wonderful kind of piece of grace that says God wants all me good and bad

and and has a use for all of it. And then there's that disgusting little piece that says, take away my difficulties,

that stand in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. And it took me about seven years, eight years before I realized that meant he was going to lead in the defects that were useful to others. Like I'm frequently late to meetings and that's a really wonderful character defect for others to see. I don't want to do it the way he does it. He really doesn't screws up the meetings and so on. So

that's one of the things I wanted to say about the book. The solution on page 25 is really critical to me. That page 98 stuff that I mentioned

is really critical to me. Job or no job, wife or no job wife, we simply did not stop drinking or lessening as long as we place dependence on other person that had a dependence on God. Burn this idea into the consciousness of every man or woman. You can't get sober. We can get well as long as we place dependence on God, Clean house and trust God.

These things are in there because it's not only the experience of Alcoholics, but also because

they work and it's the tools that we need. In my experience, I need to have any way to work. There are lots of other portions of the big book. I just want to say a bit about literature. This is our newest piece. Practical Tools for Recovery is a collection of articles from the essay over a 10 year period. In reality, most of them are from about 2019, 99 or so on

and it has quite an extended section on the steps.

Some of you were may have been here when Harvey was here a couple years ago and talked about what is sex with self and that is in here. It's actually right in the 1st 4 pages

and then it has a bunch of practical tools or daily contract for sobriety which is real helpful to people. Gratitude List. Daily Renewals.

And various other sort of prayers, things like that that are really helpful.

I've had a lot of people tell me that they started using in their meetings in the group since been helpful to them. That

and it's been helpful to me. I don't read my way through this one yet,

partly probably supposed because of my history, but

but I find myself referring to constantly, so I guess it's turning some role in my life,

the white look and the recovery continues. I find a lot of people don't use recovery continues. It's fine, but it sure makes life harder. I think Roy and the people who edited it with him really did a fine job and it's also the quickest one. So there's kind of a satisfaction to get through Easter early and quickly. But as I said today, the section I just have to be on,

what's it on self-awareness and sexual dreams. But he talks about when we get sober, we just become aware of how much we were lusting and how much it was running my life and exactly what I needed to be able to talk today. The White Book does the same thing. It's always a right place for me. Today it was on the beginning of step six and seven and on the end of the fifth step. And I always really trust that wherever I open the book to is going to be the right place for me that day. And that's certainly been my experience

as Bill sees it. Probably it's the most frequent I read on a daily basis, partly because it's

quick. It's also very useful. 12:00 and 12:00. I mentioned I was brought up in the tradition of using the A literature heavily because that's the core of our program, and using the essay literature consistently because that's the translation into our disease. And so I do that. That's worked well for me. And then I happen to use one of the meditation books. This particular one I think is out of print, but

it's outside literature, and

I wouldn't ever use it in the meeting or read it in the meeting. But I found for me it's been a helpful anchor. I suppose it's that this one happens to be entitled in God's care, and I suppose because I came in with my issues about God, that it's been helpful to me to give me a context for God that's broad in the way I need it. And I think these meditation books can often be useful

for that. Not that there any substitute for program reading. A lot of people use them that way and I think it's a mistake, but because it allows me to keep a breadth of view and a connection to a broader