Southern Cal Speakers meeting in San Diego, CA

Thank you, Nancy.

And now I would like to introduce our main speaker for the evening.

Karen G. from Los Angeles, West Los Angeles.

Hi, everybody.

I'm Karen Garris and I'm an alcoholic.

And it's truly through the grace of God and the power of Alcoholics Anonymous that I've been sober since May 30th, 1982.

And that does not make me a miracle, makes Alcoholicsonomous a miracle.

If you're new here tonight, I want to welcome you to A.

And I always call it God's magnificent AA, the poem that saved my life.

It's going to save yours too if you want to take a few quick actions.

I suggest strong that you get a sponsor, that you get that book, Alcoholics Anonymous, and you get busy.

Everybody else is doing around here.

You know, stay sober.

I've stayed sober for 25 years, and people like me cannot stay sober, I can guarantee you.

My home group is the Pacific group in West LA.

A group I'm very, very proud to be a member of just as I'm sure you're proud to be a member of yours.

I guess if you're not proud, you ought to get a job and you might change your mind.

I certainly have a job of mine and I'm proud to have that job.

I don't think Terry for inviting me to come down tonight.

This is an honor and a privilege.

It's one that I do not kick lightly, I'll guarantee you.

You guys, I love alcoholicsonomous.

I really do.

I think that it shows by making an awful lot of mistakes and a lot of things wrong,

but I'll tell you one thing that I love you.

Make no mistake about that.

You know, I've been talking to an awful lot of things before I ever wrote my big mouth.

And one thing is, talk to my sponsor, and Clancy's In fact that night.

And even is true much wondering, why I have a man for a sponsor and why Clancy for a sponsor.

It's really quite simple.

I get sober in California.

I got sober in a place called Lincoln, Nebraska.

And what was not doing well, I'll call it Sonomis, Nebraska.

I went through 19 sponsors at a rapid clip.

And I'm certain I'm proud that I stand here tonight.

And thank God for the old-time reason, because somebody loved me enough to get my current sponsor.

And I got to hear that my life has been nothing but totally completely as a result of that.

I have to see a door to the ground that man walks night.

Talk to him this morning.

He said, almost every single day of my life.

And he said, where are you going tonight?

And I said, that knew me down in San Diego.

And he said, well, get up there and share your experience, your strength and your hope.

And tell those people what it was like, what happened, what it's like now.

Ignore the old timers.

They got it.

They don't need your inspiration, my dear.

And, you know, they don't need your inspiration, my dear.

and talk directly to those new people, the life and blood of A.

And I believe as I stand here and I welcome you and I hope that you stay.

Then I think I do without a doubt the most important thing I can ever do.

And that's to say, God, please help me say what you want me to say to these people.

God is very much a part of my life and that, you guys.

It not used to do that with me, I can guarantee you.

I come from an alcoholic, hell I can not even describe it.

It was so bad.

You know, my life is real good today, and sometimes I forget how bad it was.

And I can tell you the day I got sober, I weighed 95 pounds.

I was the color of squash.

Had an alcoholic hepatitis, I had a liver cirrhosis, I had rupture

syracies, and if you don't know what that stuff is, you don't want it.

Because you die from that kind of stuff.

And I was standing on Skid Row in Lincoln, Nebraska.

suck on a bottle of mad dog.

If you guys haven't drank mad dog,

I need to tell you it's not one of your finer wines,

I can assure you.

I'll guarantee you one thing.

That crap does never seem to grape.

Made no mistake about that.

I have.

I literally could not believe what's gone in my life.

I'd lost my children.

I'd lost my husband twice.

Although I'd really care about that, I don't want you to know.

I'd lost my car.

I'd lost my house.

I'd destroyed every relationship I'd ever have with anybody.

And I was clearly dying from alcoholism.

And then I lost the one thing that brought in my niece with disease.

I lost my nursing license.

And you guys, I love my profession.

Absolutely devastated me, but not stop me from drinking.

And there's a reason for that, and it was read here tonight that I have an obsession that somehow, someday I'll under control and enjoy my drinking.

The persistent illusion is astonishing.

Just like our book talks about, you know, this pursuit negates insanity in death.

And I'll guarantee you one thing.

I was negated to appearance.

I got cloburn almost into my coffin.

And I am so grateful for alcoholic stymus as I stand here tonight.

I cannot begin to tell you.

And you can as soon see why in and step it.

You know, like I said earlier, my suburbity.

It is May 30th, 1982.

It was not always my sobriety date.

I got my current sponsor.

I had to change that date.

And there's a reason for that.

I don't these people had to go smoke dope when I got sober.

And if you're smoking marijuana this, you're not sober.

You're not sober now, like Thomas, I would tell you about this minute.

I don't want to argue about it afterwards.

Ask any old-timers, you don't believe me.

If I could change my date, then by God, so to you.

I got my current sponsor.

I tried to explain to him that when I'm from Nebraska,

he can have two sobriety, so I'm from alcohol and smoking drugs.

He'd rather quickly point out to me that I was in Southern California.

We have one day here to get my day changing.

I said, just smarter like when I got my current sponsor?

And I said, when does the book mention pot?

He said, the book does mention pot.

And I say, Clancy, I have read that book.

So I talk about marijuana, that book.

And he said...

If I finally were pot in that book, will you change your supply?

I never argued me again.

And I knew I was making a bad deal, you guys, but I did anyway.

And I'll be damned if he didn't flip open the big book about Plexonomous.

On the first page of Bill Wilson's story, it says, died by muscular or by pot.

I said, that is not what that means.

He said, quite frankly, my dear, I don't care what it means.

You said the book didn't mention pot.

It does mention pot.

Change your sobriety date.

And my life has flourished, I've got to tell you guys.

But I'm delighted to be here tonight, and I wish you much luck with your brand new meeting.

It looks like it's going to be very, very successful and stuff.

And I'm also glad you only have a glass film.

You can see your speaker.

I had this terrible experience on the East Coast.

I had to get into talking.

I talked my skirt off in front of 3,000 people.

And I'm going to talk about it.

They had this glass plan.

You could actually see the speaker, and that makes me nervous anyway.

I've just black suit on with this wrap-round skirt, and the buttonkin, I thought, my God, my skirt's going to fall on the floor.

And it was too late.

It was on the floor.

But you guys, you know what?

That's like Thomas has taught me to wear underwear, and thank God I had some.

It's so.

It's also taught me to take action.

I just picked up that skirt and kept right on talking.

What else are you going to do?

You guys, this has been without a doubt.

Without a doubt, the best two and a half years of my sobriety.

And I want to show their head with you tonight.

If you could ask me a year to go New Year's Eve,

are your men's made enough like Sonmas?

I said, yes, that's been the absolute truth for me.

I made $6,000 out of debt here.

I owe nobody nothing, no verbal men,

no financial men.

I'm home fee here.

Just have a sponsor, have a God in my life,

go to medians, work with others.

There are 3,000 things we will stay sober.

It looks like I'm going to be okay and stuff.

And our book says that moral will be revealed, folks.

And...

I flew to Kansas City, Missouri, a year-going, years need to give an AA talk,

and this big dinner to dance banquet, so they invited me to come.

So, air traffic control had held us to the Kansas City or Kansas City, Missouri,

and so we were circling the city.

And look how the airplane went on, I spied the High Recy Hotel.

I thought, oh, my God, there's the Hyatt.

I just had done about 35 years ago.

You know, I read my inventory to my sponsor.

I'm not mentioned this for whatever reason.

I don't so much this sort of thing.

It was no big deal, I guess, but I didn't really remember when I did the inventory.

Now I got to tell my sponsor.

I called him and he said, well, get over to make a ministry.

You probably would place a bad name.

But 35 years ago on Easter morning, I found myself in the Hartmusee Hotel, Glass Elevator in Kansas City, Missouri, stark naked.

And in the first floor of the hotel, and here was his family sending of Easter clothes.

I never forget to look on these people's face as long as I live.

I thought, well, if I have time, I'll get that done.

I'd not have time to get that done.

That committee can't be really, really busy and stuff.

It's going to be there for 24 hours.

So I got to Los Angeles on New Year's Day to come back to L.A.

And my flight was canceled.

I thought, got five hours to kill, take a shuttle to the height and try to find somebody to talk to.

Although I definitely had a New Year's Day to talk.

to and boy was I wrong about that let me tell you I said I have the manager of the

heart museum hotel and I told him what I'd done and he laughed he said taren scott I have to tell

you a funny story he said 35 years ago my dad was manager's a high at that time and we were over here

having Easter brunch he said I was only seven years on never forget this as long as I live

he said you have to take the glass elevator upstairs to the brunch area and the door opened

up and a naked woman got off and he said I've never seen a naked woman for and I said well I'm sorry I had to be

your first woman but

take over and get it

and he said

and guess what?

Mom and Dad

are here this

weekend I thought

oh wonderful

he said

yeah they're celebrating

their 6thth anniversary

I put him in the

honeymoon suite

let's have him come down

and meet you

and I thought

let's not you know

but I didn't say that

we just go along with them

is what we do

and I said

whatever you want to do

it will be fine with me

and so mom and dad

came down

I thought my God

they're probably a hundred

and 50 years old

and walkers

life a heart

a cat

when they find

who I am

and boy was I

wrong about that

I said the

loveliest people

ever met

before my

lives and they laugh

and they said

Karen

we talked about

you for years

in the bars

at the higher

museum I thought

yeah I bet

you did you

and I said

I'm so sorry

I'm embarrassed

junior family

here all those

years ago

what can I do

to make that

right?

And they said

just don't hear

do it again.

I said, you know what?

I can't think of any more disgusting than a six-year-old woman getting out of a glass elevator,

stark naked.

I've mentioned for taking that path in time soon.

So as I stand here tonight, my men's a minute and I'm going to clock to sign us,

but it ain't midnight yet, folks, you never know what's going to happen around here.

Okay.

A year ago, I was over in Lofen, Nevada.

I spoke at the Tri-State Roundup.

You guys haven't experienced that conference.

My God, it's a fabulous event.

They gave about 6,000, 7,000 people to sing.

And we were hanging around the casino on Thursday night, waiting for me to start.

And I had a $10,000 slot is what happened.

And I was to experience every promise in the big book about like Somers in about five seconds last.

I was to know a new freedom and new happiness.

And...

Your financial insecurity left me temporarily.

If you're new here, not that has not how you get the promise is knock like science, but I swear to God I got a loan.

It was really a great thing.

Don Lothamone was at a hotel, that Riverside Hotel, so he came down to tell me hi.

Actually, he wants their money back is what they want.

He said, can we extend your stay?

And I said, no check, please.

I'm taking it back to L.A.

And he said, what are you doing here this weekend?

And I said...

Well, actually, I'm speaking at the convention.

He said, oh, can I come here you talk?

I love to hear the A speaker's talking.

I thought, whatever you want to do, it's your hotel.

I guess you can do what you want to.

And by guy was in line the very next night, and they never give up, folks.

And he said to me, are you sure we can't extend your stay?

And I said, I'm positive.

So I'm happy to point here at night.

I brought that 10 grand back to Los Angeles.

I paid my car off with it.

And I am truly debt-free and out like Stomis.

And there's a great position to be in.

Let me tell you guys.

Now, listen, I'm not a martyr.

I don't want to pay any of it back to go on the street.

But I'm not.

You know, it took me 18 years to do that.

It's like paying for dead horses everywhere.

But let me tell you something, folks.

I am so glad I paid that money back.

Everything I've learned now collects, I'll learn in retrospect.

While I'm doing it, I don't see the value.

It's afterwards I see the value.

So anyway, I'm glad it's over for me and stuff.

But I don't wish to get in credit card debt again.

I can tell you right this minute.

So it's been a great couple, two and a half, three years of my sobriety.

You know, I come a wonderful home there in Nebraska.

I want you to know that.

My mother wants you to know it too, I'll guarantee you that.

You know, my mom died 13 years ago, and God, I miss her so much, I can't begin to tell you guys.

Well, you only get one folks, and when they're gone, they're gone.

And I made amends to her many, many years ago.

We had a wonderful relationship last few years of life and stuff, but I just missed her terribly.

I could tell you guys a funny story.

Not to my mom died, of course.

Yeah.

I was back in Nebraska in August.

I said, August, my kids and my grandkids and stuff.

And I told my eldest son, I'm going to go to Grandma's grave and put some flowers down.

I said, where's your other grandmother buried?

I was not there for my ex-mother-in-law's family.

And he said, well, Mom, just mark off 15 rows from Grandma's Grave.

There's Grandma's, Lynn's Graved.

It's a little bit tiny graveyard.

It was overcast, Nebraska, had been raining all day.

And I told my speaker at Lawn Club at 5.30, it was already 10 after 5.

I really need to move right along here.

So...

I put the flowers on my mom's grave and marked out 15 rows.

There was my ex-mother mom's grave.

I put the flowers down and I backed up and I found myself in an eight-foot grave, you guys,

and I could not get out of that damn thing.

I thought, how in the hell did this happen to me?

Well, apparently the grave-degers in Nebraska opened the grave the day before

and they put a tarp up in a caution sign of the thing to hold the casket.

It's basically impossible fall in the grave.

And they thought, well, it's been raining all day.

Nobody's even out here.

Let's go to dinner.

We'll come back and do it later.

And I come saundering over.

And I thought, how am I going to get out of this thing?

I was more worried about that meaning.

And there was nobody out there with me, you guys.

What do you do?

You start screaming, help is what you're doing.

Right.

that 10 men say this old lady walked over the grave.

She's old, but I'm not, right?

And she says to me, I don't think you're supposed to be in there.

And I thought, stupid woman.

I didn't say that, however.

I needed that one in my pocket that particular time.

And I said, have you got a cell phone you by any chance?

She says, you know, I don't.

And I said...

Can you go up the office and see if anybody's still there?

You know, get a ladder called the fire department.

What they got to do to get me out of here?

The chung out to run the sirens is not an emergency or anything.

Here they come, you guys, six-luck-N-Braska fire trucks where their sirens going.

Think of Nebraska police cars where their sirens going.

And reporters of all damn things.

And I said, don't you dare put my name in the paper.

And they said, we have to put the fire call.

We don't put your name in the paper.

And I said, you better see that you don't.

There it was Monday morning.

Lincoln Journal and a Star.

California woman falls in eight-foot grade.

Karen, I can't believe they did that.

But you never know what's going to happen now, I'll have you all-timers know.

I made it to my mean at 529 p.m. I was there.

And the people said to me, Karen, why do you have mud all of your address?

I said, you don't even want to know.

Trust me.

Okay.

I come from an alcoholic home and I don't think that's either here nor there.

I don't do well with people who stand A podiums and blame anybody for anything.

And my father died from his disease on the city Chicago in 1979.

And you tell me how I'm major in the Air Force drives on Skid Row.

I don't know how that happened in the fact that he was an alcoholic.

And whether you were found to A or not, I do not know.

I just know that he certainly did not say sober as a relative.

So one more time tonight, this is a cunning, baffling, powerful disease that kills people.

This is not a game I'm playing up, but this is a serious business.

And I would give in the world if my father were alive tonight, because we would have a lot to talk about, I can tell you.

I have a sister who is Miss Rar-Ran high school and Homecoming Queen, shirley, all that kind of stuff,

and made straight A's never cracked the book, and I made straight Fs never cracked the book, and that was a difference.

My sister was a beautiful girl.

She's a gorgeous woman today.

She looks nothing like I do.

I've got to tell you.

And she has a model for many years from Neiman Marcus in Dallas.

And now she's retired and teaches school in the West Indies.

And I've got to tell you guys, as a direct result of this program, I love my sister very much tonight.

I found out something about her.

She's also very beautiful on the inside.

She used to know that.

I have her brother who was a fighter pilot in the Navy for many many years.

My brother retired.

six years ago in August, and did in 9-11 Iraq and so forth.

He's been called back in the service.

And, you know, my brother is really old to be a fighter pilot.

He's 54 years old.

We were growing up, I thought he was such a dork, I can't begin to tell you.

Straight as an arrow mic, doesn't drink, doesn't use drugs, doesn't screw around.

He was an embarrassment to me if you want to know the truth.

And tonight I'm so proud of that man, I cannot begin to tell you.

He wouldn't catch me over Iraq in any fighter plane.

And I have another sister who's married the public defender in Lincoln, Nebraska.

who got me out of a whole bunch of trouble when I got sober,

and I'm welcoming their homes staying I never used to be.

I come from basically a very boring family.

You know the truth.

They're high-process of people, and they bore me to tears.

I love them, but they bore me to tears.

I have a couple kids that are 44 and 45 years old,

and now I know I certainly don't have old enough to have kids that age,

but by God, I sure do.

And this is where it really starts getting interesting for me.

These kids are anything but boring, I've got to tell you guys.

As a matter of fact, they're a couple of days.

jerks, you know the truth, but those couple of jerks

give me five of the most gorgeous grandbabies you've ever seen before in your life.

And those grandbabies have never seen their grandmother drinks,

and I hope that God's say never do.

So things in my family are very, very good tonight.

It's only a direct result of alcoholicsomous, I can assure you,

and it took a long time for it to happen.

And in my case, that's a good thing.

But, you know, I grew up in Nebraska.

I was a disrupting jerk when I was growing up,

always in trouble getting kids out of class.

I hated discipline.

I was very, very rebellious.

I really hated people telling me what to do.

And I like it even less today, if you know, the truth.

And, you know, I never felt like I belonged anywhere.

And I hear that a lot from my eight podiums, and I'm right on with that.

I heard 25 percent, I got to tell you.

You know, I really don't remember my first drink, you guys.

But I can tell you that I hope to God I never forget my last one.

And I hope it was my last one.

What alcohol did with me from the very beginning.

It made me feel like I belong.

I could do anything I wanted to be.

I could do anything I wanted to do.

I drank any given opportunity after that.

And I was probably about 13 years old.

You know, I realized that I'm in me with alcohol exonomist tonight.

And I honored this podium by talking about alcoholism.

I used a lot of drugs to make that a small part of my story.

My sponsor encourages me to do that.

You know, in the big book about Alcohol Exonomist and Bill Wilson's story he talks about,

and the powerful influence of alcohol and sedation, he wound up on the rocks.

as precisely what happened me, folks.

But, you know, I'm one of these alcoholic females, and I hate to say that, this is from an A.A. podium,

but it's precisely the way that it was for me, and we're supposed to tell the truth up here,

that if you pat me on the head, my pants falls what happens to me.

And I got myself into a lot of trouble when I was growing up.

I absolutely love men.

I know everything about them.

You name about it, and I love them.

It's been the downfall of my entire existence, and they remain the same today.

I'm sorry to say.

And I, uh...

I particularly like sick men, and there's a room falling here tonight, I can just feel it, you know.

That's one thing girls I love about Southern California.

It's got so many sick men, and I'm just entertained around the clock 24 hours a day.

You know, you guys, I want to be 63 years old next week, and I have a boyfriend.

Levi have a boyfriend.

He lives in New York.

I live in L.A., so he gets along so well and stuff.

Things haven't changed a whole lot for me in that arena, I'll tell you.

But I could tell you guys a funny story.

I was in Nashville, Tennessee, about 15 years ago giving a talk.

One of the fine ladies of Nashville, Tennessee, he walked up to me afterwards, I want you to know.

And this woman said to me, she said, you're disgusting.

And she wasn't kidding, you guys.

She made every word of it.

I said, lady, from where I come from, being disgusting to step up, I can assure you.

And furthermore, if I wanted you to sponsor me, I'd flown to Nashville and Ashfield.

You know, I hear some women get this podium, and I wonder if they ever drink you guys.

I really do.

You all their drinking, run with a shoot through the keyhole of an eyedropper.

I was out there big time.

I got myself into a lot of trouble.

I've been taught to shirt.

I've been asked me anathiconomist.

And if I offend anybody in this room tonight, I would never offend anybody in the program that saved my life.

And besides that, my book tells me.

And this is my favorite part of our book.

It says, cling to the thought that in God's hands, your dark past will be the greatest possession that you have.

And he goes on to say, because you literally overt death and misery for others.

And I think that to be very, very true in my sobriety.

So if I ask anybody here, I don't want to hear about it afterwards.

But anyway.

Excuse me.

I got pregnant when I was 16 years old

and had to get married.

And my dear girls, you had to get married.

There's no if, sends and butts about that.

Just what we did and stuff.

As it must be, I'm married and an alcoholic.

He was 17.

I was 16.

I couldn't cook.

I couldn't clean.

I couldn't take care of a baby.

No, I don't want to take care of a baby.

Before we knew, we had two babies to take care of him,

I could find out what caused all that, and I put a halt

to it, I'll guarantee you that.

And that caused me a lot of trouble throughout the years.

And as it must be, I married an individual that refused to work,

they drank on a daily basis.

He's going to beat me up on a daily basis.

And I had never seen a man who had a woman before my life, you guys.

I'll guarantee one thing.

If my dad would lay one hand on my mom, she did not come from here to the moon.

I got to tell you.

And I grew to hate this guy very, very much.

And I'm not blaming here for my disease, so please don't get me wrong.

It's just part of my story needed to share it.

And I'm not.

And some of that family had to get a job.

And I didn't finish junior high yet, for God's sakes.

And I found a job as a nurse's aide to the hospital there in Lincoln.

And the magic was put in my life.

I fell in love with nursing.

And I made a plan to myself.

I would love to go to school, and I'd love to become a registered nurse.

That's what I'd love to do.

You know, they say that alcoholics don't have willpower.

And I'm here to tell you not from this podium that there's a bunch of crap.

I have more willpower than 20 elephants.

When I want to do well, I'm going to do well.

I don't have an ounce of well property comes to my disease.

When I want to do something, I'm going to do it.

I went back after an age junior high.

I went to high school.

I went to college full time for three years.

And I worked full time for three years.

And I'm talking about 18, 20 hours a day.

You guys know it is hard stuff to do.

I did not drink.

I use any drugs in this period of time.

At the age of 27 years old, I became a registered nurse.

And if you think I'm proud to stand here tonight and tell you that I got jerked in front of the State Board of Nursing Nebraska,

and they tell me you are disgraced to your profession, you're disgraced to nursing, you're disgraced to medicine,

you are no longer working because we just jerked your nursing license.

If you think I'm proud of that, you are sadly wrong.

You guys, I love my profession.

I really, really mean that.

And I would never do anything to jeopardize the people I take care of,

nor the people I work with in their ordinary circumstances.

And what I had to tell you that is a story about how I threw it right down,

that tore it so I could drink.

And that is total insanity.

It's also called alcoholism.

At the age of 27 years old, I divorced this man.

And girls, I've got to tell you that a whole new world opened up to me, and it's called men and alcohol.

And I went absolutely hog wild, is what I did.

I was engaged eight times during that divorce.

I never did marry these people.

Two of them died from alcoholism.

I know nothing about social drinking.

I drank.

I'm with alcoholics of me, do indeed die from this.

At the age of 27 years old, I went to work in surgery at a hospital there in Nebraska, and I had that job for 19 years.

I love working in the operating room.

I love taking care of those patients.

It's a colorful exciting nursing position.

I drank, medical people mostly.

They were colorful, intense people.

They worked hard, and they played hard.

And I need to tell you guys that the incidence of alcoholism amongst my profession is tremendously high.

That would be a lot through security.

security level

you can have surgery

next week

that has to be

very, very true

and those people

are so grateful

that I'm sober

that they can't

see straight

and I'm talking

about alcoholics

about.

You know, in our

book,

Aplexomis,

it says clearly

that we're

to challenge

to gym away

what our drinking

was like.

And you're

to give the gym

idea of

what my drinking

about my drinking

about my drinking

about five

seconds

in the truth.

Many,

many years ago,

I'm not going,

I was at a concert in upstate New York called Woodstock.

And I'm not talking about that piece of crap they had 10 years ago.

I'm talking about the real Woodstock.

And there will never be another one.

Trust me on that.

The kids in the 60s through a party that nobody will ever match, I'm quite sure.