The 4 Seasons Workshop at the 1st NM Indian AA Convention in Albuquerque, NM

My sponsor made me. No. No. No. No.

No. That's just like pride talk. So we thought, why is my sponsor made me do this, my no, they don't. See, we are fully accountable for this, you know, ourselves. So, I think it's important when we take a look at steps to align our will.

See, that we do, We do it because we want to do it because you don't have to. But then, there's consequences for those choices. So we wanna do next is we wanna take a look at this interconnectedness of the steps. And, so we're gonna do this overview. Remember we talked this morning, it's about harmony, balance, interconnected, everything is interconnected to each other, spirit and intent, 2 roads, see the red road, the other road.

So we wanna take a look at the interconnectedness of steps to see, if they make sense because the steps is not like a they're not designed for fear. They're not a fear motivated process or something else. So you just wanna take a overview look at the steps, then that person can decide, is this something I wanna do? Because who would wanna do something if you don't know what the outcome is gonna be? Now, the big book it talks about some outcomes, it says, having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, remember Well, that's talking about the odds, so it doesn't say maybe I'll have 1 or kinda, possibly, it might.

It pretty much states it will happen. Like a law, you work the steps, you get the result. So if you're in a spiritual awakening, do them. If you don't want 1, then don't do it. But maybe you can get it in another way.

See. Then he talks about rarely have we seen a person fail. Now, what are those odds? 5050? See, 8020, what?

Like rarely have we seen a person fail? But it doesn't say to do it any way you want either. This is rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly done it this way. So the steps is about a precision way of doing very very precise because it was we see the steps is about an implementation of laws from an unseen world, about these principles that it talks about. So as we take a look at these steps we're gonna just kinda use make them like a building block to show how they all interconnect.

So in step 1 there is 2 parts for this step But every one of the steps, it also has each of the steps, it has a principle, one of these principles that he's talking about. So as we do these, it says in step 1 that principle is a honesty. That's what that step is about, about honesty. So there's 2 parts to that step. The first part is to admit we're powerless over alcohol, then the second part is to admit our lives are unmanageable.

So, you see the thing about admission, admission is the key to power. You know, there's this line it says like let go, as soon as you do is let God, Right? Surrender, as soon as you do, to win. So it's that million of that is what transitions us into that place of that power, that thing we're looking for. So in the first half we need to look at the powerlessness over alcohol.

Now in this workbook on page 11, there are, like guidelines as to where in the big book are the instructions for each part of those steps. That's where the instructions are. So what we're gonna do is just look at our overview powerlessness over alcohol in the first one. So we look at powerlessness over alcohol in the first one and then in the second half of the first step, there are 9 areas to look at in terms of unmanageability. Personal relationships, emotional nature, full of fear.

So there's 9 specific areas to look at in those steps. That's one of the workshops we're gonna do is to practice looking at those 9 areas. All we wanna say right now is there are 9 areas. Then when we take and look at step 2, step 2 of that principle is hope. So there's 9 areas of information that we look at in step 1.

We bring that information to step 2. So we connect from step 1 to step 2 those 9 areas, then that step it says, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. So what we do in step 2 is, we look at our marriage ability and in step 2, it's came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could. So one of the things we'll do in step 2 is we will create a vision in 9 areas of our lives. So we bring If I take a look at in step 1, say for example, the personal relationships and I'm able to see where they're broke, then I bring that to step 2, then I ask myself this question, she came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could.

Well, what would this relationship look like if it worked? So I'm always asking myself this question, that is there a power that exists that could make my relationship successful? See, if you take a look at the word sanity in the dictionary means having a sound mind, soundness of mind. So I see where the relationship is broke in step 1, in step 2 I take a look at, well, what would it look like if it was working? How would I have me be in it?

No matter what that relationship did, how would I have me be? So we we create a vision in step 2 and then the question is, is there am I willing to believe that there's a power could make that happen? Now you Or am I remotely willing to believe that there's a power that could make that happen? Am I kinda willing to possibly believe that maybe a million divided by tenders, 1 zeroth of an ounce, am I willing to believe? Any of those are more than enough to make it work.

So what I end up doing in step 2 is setting a vision in 9 areas of my life, personal relationships. So the question when we do step 2 is not how is this power gonna do it or when is this power gonna do it, but can the power Is there a power? Am I willing to believe that there's a power that will do that? So, we create a vision in 9 areas of our life. Now, if we just momentarily go up and look at step 12, it says, having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, the vision that you step set in step 2 is the spiritual awakening that you get in step 12.

And that's all you get. No more and no less for that pass through the steps. So once you set the vision, then these steps remove the obstacles that block and when the obstacles are removed, you get that vision. So that vision that's set in step 2 is the spiritual awakening in step 12, if that makes any sense. Then once we do that, we'll go to step 3, for which that principle is faith.

Now, I used to wonder sometimes about made a decision to turn my life and my will over the care of the creator, God. Then I would say, why would I wanna turn this will thing over anyway? And where is it? And why is it such a big deal to to turn that will over? Because you see from step 3 through step 11, all of that work is done on the will.

That's where the work is, is done. It's not done on my brain, my mind, and all that stuff, it's done on the will. So let's just say that, I could draw the will in a box And in this will, there will be certain things that I do. I could be dishonest, I could be selfish but there's certain things that's in my will. Now, if we had, say, a mountain and on this mountain there was a say this was a lake, had water in it.

Then say down the mountain, I lived in this house, and that I would, have a say a river would come out of that lake, and I would take a little pipe out of that river and I would run that into my house and that's where I get my drinking water. So if that water tastes like crap, see, is there anything wrong with the faucet? Is there anything wrong with the river? So what I need to do is, if it tastes funny, I need to go back to where is it causing that to taste funny. So if the results in my life are not right, then I need to chase that back.

So the relationships between the lake So the lake is the will, the river, the water I'm tasting is the results. So if I want to change the results in my life, then it might be to my advantage to turn the lake over to the creator. As it is, with all the junk, everything, exactly how it is. So in step 3, it's just taking it as it is, not cleaning it up. You see, very often we confuse this turning the wheel over with our feelings.

So we go through this thing, we turn it over one day and then we say to the next day, why I took it back. Then I turned it over and then I took it back. I turned it over, took it back, turned it over, took it back. See? What a day.

Turning this ball over and taking it back. But you see, when you take that third step, it isn't that way Once you turn your life over the creator. Now, the best way I've heard it said is this guy one time in AA, he told me this story about he said, he's talking about step 3 and he said there was these, 4 frogs sitting on a log one day. So one of those frogs made a decision to jump in the water. So he said to me, he said, now how many frogs is on that log?

I said, well, there's 3. He said, no, there's 4. 1 of those frogs just decided to jump in the water. But he said the difference is, he said, when you turn your life over the care of the creator, then he would that like that frog, once you decide, then he makes that frog a different color, he makes that frog orange. So when that frog decides to jump in the water or we decide to turn our will over, the creator makes you a orange frog.

You'll never be a green frog again. So what happens if you get pissed the next day? You're a pissed off orange frog. See, after you take that step, what happens if you get angry? You are a angry orange frog.

Once you cut the deal with a creator, then you can't say, well, make me green. Probably gonna be orange. Only gonna be green. No. Whatever it is after that, you are orange, so you go drink again.

You're a drunk orange frog. So you'd you cannot go back and forth. So we gotta understand that that is decision, that decision is of the will, that I take that will and I turn it over, see to the care of the creator. So we take this will like it is and we shift it to the care of God. So once we are able to do that, then we come to the 4th step.

And what the 4th step is is a way to do an examination on the will. So we keep continuing to experience another principle. So in this first step, there is 3 parts to this inventory. There's a resentment inventory, a fear inventory, and a sex inventory. The resentment inventory is done in 5 columns.

So you put the name of the person with whom you have a resentment against. 2nd column, you put what they did. The 3rd column is where you actually you put in the 3rd column 1 or more of up to 7 things. This is where you inventory the ego. The ego masks are revealed.

The 4th column in the resentment inventory is where you come out with a list of character defects. You actually get the name you get the name of the flaw that's in the will. So you end up with a list of those defects. Then the 5th column is you get the names of the person to whom you owe amends. It how happens in the resentment inventory.

Then the fear inventory is done in 4 columns. 1st column is the name of the fear, why do I have it, did self reliance fail, and what should I have done in Sid's stead? Then the sex inventory is done in either 7 columns or 9 columns depending upon how sexually active one is. If there hasn't been that much happening, 7 column works pretty good. If you've been tearing it up, the 9 column seems to be better to do because you can see the patterns because in the inventory you wanna be able to see the patterns.

Then in the 6th column of the 6th inventory is where you come out with a list of the names in that area of amends, that you make amends. Then we take that inventory when we are done and we do that 5th step. We admit to ourselves to the Creator and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Then when that is done, we do steps 6 and 7. 6 and 7, the information for steps 6 and 7 comes out of the inventory.

So in the 4th column of the resentment inventory is the list of defects that you take to steps 6 and 7. The 5th column of the inventory is the list of names that you take to steps 89. Right? This is all linked together, it's interconnected to one another. Now, all of this work is always done see the the steps are after step 3, the steps are all done on the ego.

They are not done on you know how you say, like sometimes you write inventory, you say, well, you gotta write the truth about yourself. You're really not writing the truth about yourself, you're writing about the lie about yourself. You know, the saying says the truth shall set you free. Well, if what you are writing about doesn't make you feel free, then you must be writing on something other than the truth. Whatever it is you're writing is not the truth.

You're writing about the lie. Does that make sense? Is this So you really you were writing really all on ego. It is all ego information that you're writing on. So as you progress up through these steps, another way to look at it is you kinda go through a tunnel in this sense.

You work steps, 1, step 2, step 3, step 4, step 5. And when you do steps 6 and 7, where you ask the Creator to remove the defective character and you are willing to have Him do so, it is at that point that a transformation takes place in the will. So let's say that I discover in the inventory that I have a lot of selfishness in the will. In in a way, what this whole process on the will looks like do you ever remember a long time ago they have, this style where you'd buy these coffee tables and you could put pictures on them then you could paint that plastic on there so you could see the pictures but you couldn't get to them? That's kind of the way the wheel is.

At first some stuff gets in there and then you can't get at it so you're just that way no matter, like, what you do, but then you take that will and you turn it over. So in other words, you change those pictures, whatever that is. You're gonna have the creator do it. So the first thing happens in the inventory is I start to identify what those particular instances are in the will. When I do a 5th step, that would be like going to that table with a big chisel and chipping off that plastic coat that won't let you get to it.

That's what the 5th step does. It makes it available. So 5th step, it removes the plastic but the pictures are still there. When I do step 6 and 7, once I see, like, I'm selfish or judgmental or I lied, when I become willing to have the Creator, so my job is to not remove it. My job is to be willing to have Him do it.

So, if I say I'm willing to have Him remove my selfishness, then he takes that away, remember it's a polarity system, what do you think he will put back in my will? Pardon? Probably. So if I'm dishonest? If I'm irresponsible?

So what happens is he starts to put those principles from the red road back into my will. Now have you ever noticed for those of you who have worked step 6 and 7, you ever noticed right after you do it, everything turns to shit? It's you see, so what you say is it didn't work. But when it turns to crap, it means it did work. Because you see, when I go through that tunnel, step 6 and 7, when I come out of it, I come out with a will change.

In other words, what happens is my will is changed but my head's got the old stuff in it yet. So a conflict occurs. So the concept is conflict precedes clarity. When I have alignment to the will, when my will says, I choose to be an asshole and my head says, you are 1, I have no conflict. Ain't that right?

But when the world changes, now all of a sudden I'm in conflict because my head doesn't know that yet the creator made a change. So it always seems to be worse, but it's not worse. I mean, it is worse, but that's that's healthy. It says now the will is gonna start to drive the change because now I'm trying to figure out who am I now because I don't know who I am and I won't start to see that until after I start to get that feedback, that conflict occurs. So step 6 to 7, it seems to be worse, then it gets better.

That's because of that tunnel that we go through, so the wheel is transformed right here. Now, very often, we really struggle in steps 6 and 7. You see, there's a story it says about this, person is baking a cake so so they get all the flour and sugar and all that and they put it in this pan, you know, turn on the stove, get it to 350, get that stove all heated up and they pour that batter into this pan, smooth it out with a spatula or whatever. They take it to the stove, open up the door, it occurs. So step 6 and 7, it seems to be worse, then it gets better.

That's because of that tunnel that we go through, so the will is transformed right here. Now, very often, we really struggle in step 6 and 7. You see, there's a story, it says about this, person is baking a cake, so they get get all the flour and sugar and all that, and they put it in this pan, you know, turn on the stove, get it to 350, get that stove all heated up, and they pour that batter into this pans, smooth it out with a spatula or whatever. They take it to the stove, open up the door, they stick the cold cake in there and close the door. Now, if you want that cake to bake, what you have to do is leave that door shut.

Well, what would happen if I would put that thing in there? Well, how is it? Well, how is it doing? See. Now, I open it up, if I keep messing with it, in other words, I keep examining it and keep questioning it.

Well, when is he gonna do it? Well, obvious it isn't today. It's been going on now, you see, 14 hours. If we keep doing that, you In other words, you have to put yourself in the oven and don't peek. Let the creator bake you.

Whatever happens, even like you get pissed off, that doesn't mean the step didn't work. It just means you become pissed off. But, if we take that and then we start to peak in that, you know, trying to do something about ourselves, See the step says, you just become you just say to the creator, I'm willing to have you remove it. That's it. That's it.

There's like nothing more to do. Let Him handle it. But if I start to peek in there, so you keep interfering with it, then it takes longer. So, we get the list of character defects in step 6 and 7, column 5, and then there's, I think, column 4 in the 6th inventory is the list of the amends for step 89. And it's from 89 where we make our amends.

So when we look at, that process of looking at the steps in the circle, then it says, we are now at that point in the steps where in 89 that's where we start to set ourselves right with other people. First we see ourselves, we find a relationship with the creator, then in the self with ourselves and then step 7, 8, 9 we look at our relationships with others. That's where we start to see, at the level of spirit and intent, if you remember that, if I'm out of harmony with you and we're interconnected, I'm also then out of harmony with myself. So when I go and set myself right with you then I set myself right with me. So I really get the ability to be at one with the creator from you.

It's by setting myself with you if I have an amend to make. See, I cannot pretend like I can't be mad at you and pray myself into being at one with the creator because we're interconnected so it's when I set myself right with you then all of a sudden I set myself right with me and that's why we need to look at making those amends and then we set ourself right with others. Then we come to these maintenance steps, steps 10 and 11, and these are the steps where we then we maintain that new picture. We it's a daily maintenance steps where we pray every morning, check ourselves during the way during the day, and then we also constructively review the day in the evening, then the 12 step it says, we go give this away. So the steps are just a they're interconnected system in a very orderly fashion these are all laws that allow us to change ourselves.

So, can you see where this would be damaging? You know, it's like finding the pay value to do the steps that's why you can't skip around because there's information that you need from the one before it to go ahead and to make it work So, see then that's why I started to see like the they would say do them in order but it's but it didn't make sense to me until I started to see the whole picture now I now I like, you know, Indians are stubborn as heck sometimes now I understand why it has to be done in order and I'm willing to do that because I didn't know it was interconnected, you see, in this way and that around that whole circle is how all these things would would happen. So now, I I'll do it. I want to do it, like that. So is there any questions on this interconnectedness of the steps in relationship to what?

In relationship to the the the wheel. Yeah. We always start in the east. Always as the entry point. Always starts there again.

I make amends then. Oh, I see what you're saying. I did the first step. I I did all that. So you're going to start the steps over?

Yes. Yes. So So your is your question that do I need to go make all those amends I made to someone else again? Yes. No.

But did you miss any? Yeah. Well, maybe when we, get, you know, through that we'll talk about slipping and how does that happen spiritually. Any other questions on this? Alright.

Then the last thing we wanna do is, look at, look at the enemy through the steps that isn't an enemy once you see what the enemy looks like, why it seems like an enemy, and that enemy is ourselves. But every time, like, when we make any type of a change or we look at going for something, you know, there's this sometimes there's this tension or stress system, it just starts to kick in and you just it feels like this, it can't be right. So, one of the things we wanna look at next is we wanna take a look at how information is stored within our mind and then what happens to us after that information is stored in our mind, what happens to us if we start to mess with it or make changes. So we're gonna take a brief look at that. So we're gonna look at thought process, how thoughts are processed.

There's 3 parts to a thought process, one of them, is a conscious process, one is our subconscious and one is something called the creative subconscious. So how information gets inside of us is through our senses, Our eyes, hearing, smell so in other words, as I go through the day I'm always looking, I'm always smelling, I'm always listening. So I have like a little radar system, it's constantly scanning the scene world. So I have senses for the seen world then I have a 6th sense for the unseen world so I'm able to see I'm able to sense in the unseen world but the biggest value of these senses are just so I don't run into tables and if I don't stumble into things, other than that there's not a whole lot of value in terms of trusting that what I see is really there. But I do have the ability to function in the scene world, listen, you know, to smell, taste, touch.

So it's through my senses that information comes into me then I take that information that I see and I store it in terms of beliefs, habits, attitudes, expectations or maybe I could call that my version of truth. So I I have so you you hear you'll hear us say, let me tell you a fact. Let me tell you the truth. Well, is it really the truth or is it just your version of it? Is it in terms of the truth?

Or maybe we could call this, it stores and it creates reality, so I'll put these in quotes because it may not really be reality, it may only be my version of it. So as I perceive a situation there's 2 questions that we as human beings are constantly asking ourselves all the time. So, one of the questions I'm always asking myself, this thousands of times a day, is have I seen anything like this before? So I'm always doing some type of an association. Have I heard anything like this before?

Have I smelled anything like this before? See. So my mind has a filing system so as it watches during the day, it's always asking that question so it knows where to put it, it's a filing system. So I'm always asking, have I seen anything like this before? So let's say, for example, that I live next to somebody here in Albuquerque, next door, they're really a jerk.

Jeez, I just can't stand them. Right next door, so you have nothing to do with them, you just ignore them. So let's say, one night the phone rings and a friend from Denver calls up and says, hey, guess what? I just won the lottery. I'll pay party time, come on up.

See, I'll pay for it. So you hop on a plane, you go up to Denver, go to stay with that friend early Saturday in the evening, you hear a little noise downstairs, got your snagging clothes on, see? Go downstairs, go in the kitchen, get a little drink, little snack and you walk in the living room where the noise is and all of a sudden you see this person looks like that friend that lives or that person lives next door to you at home, that jerk. And you look like that at that person, and you step back into the kitchen, you know, it leans against the wall, you chug your drink and you say, I don't believe it. I thought God would only make 1 but he surprised me, he made 2.

1 in Albuquerque, now here's this jerk standing there in the living room. Now, you know absolutely nothing about this person. Not Truth, this is the first time you've seen them, when you talk to them. But see the mind is, have I seen anything like this before? Yeah.

When in Albuquerque? No, here's another one. Right? Then it goes on to ask another question that we usually don't don't know consciously but we're always we're doing a type of evaluation. So we're always asking ourselves, we perceive, see, we associate, then we ask, is this gonna be good for me or this be bad for me?

Bad for me. Then we decide, I'll have nothing to do with him either. It doesn't matter if I talk to him, I can smell jerks. This one is a jerk. Now, you really know nothing about them.

Right? Now, let's just say for example, another one is that, let's just say I've been in 6 relationships over the last 2 years, seem I can get those little hummers but I can't keep them. So I get in relationship number 1, you know, when you smile at her and she smiles at you and you do all the the kissy poo and everything is really good and then you have a little snap, you know, little fight and then you make up and it gets a little bit worse and you bow and you promise to stay together and then pretty soon the knock down drag out comes and zippo that one's gone. So, all that experience is recorded here, all the things you think about what is going on is recorded here in relationship number 1, and you get out of it. No problemo, lot of fish in the sea for me.

Let it go. So then, you go down to the place and you find relationship number 2, whatever that is. So you get relationship number 2 and you go through relationship number 2 and there's the all the and then you irritated me, then you break, lose them, zip, oh, that one's gone. I just hunt in a different part of the ocean. There's a lot of fish in the sea.

So, each one of these relationships, all 6 of them, you go through them over a period of 2 years and pretty soon you say, I gotta get myself together here. I gotta take a little break from relationships. So, you decide to take a break. So you get on to the bookstore, you get all the self help books, I'm okay, you're okay, you're dysfunctional, I'm dysfunctional, you know, you get all these books, these self help books, you know, to get yourself together and you read them all. And then, you stay home painting, you know, learn a little music or whatever but you do nothing.

So you say, you're out of relationship 6 months. One night you sit and your phone rings, Jesus, you're friend from Denver. You never believed this, I won the lottery twice. We're gonna really party this time. Why don't you come on up?

You say, Hot dog, I'm ready. See, I've been on my own 6 months. So you fly up to Denver. See, same deal upstairs, you're a little noise downstairs, put on a snagging clothes, come back into the kitchen, get a little drink, little snack, and you walk into the living room with your drink and your snack and also you perceive this relationship. She's looking at you, this big show and see, you're not sure it's you, so you look to make sure.

You gotta always do that, make sure, you know, that is you because we've all seen that before. As soon as it's see see soon as you sense that it's you, well, the senses perceive a relationship. Have I seen anything like this before? Uh-huh. Six times.

Now, what is this leading me towards? Well, nothing good. You know something, you tell yourself, there are no good Indian men left. You know something, all the good ones are taken. There ain't none left.

In fact, so and so said, so and so said, so and so all said. There's none left. In fact, there ain't no good men left anywhere. They're all junk. I am destined to live forever with junk.

All the men are bad. Now, is that the truth? Well, have you talked to, you know, those 80,000,000 that you have not met yet? Well, no. See, but have you seen anything like this before?

Uh-huh. And what is this leading me towards? See, nothing good so we decide. Now, we need to realize that this version of truth that's recorded in our minds also is recorded in 3 dimensions. It's recorded in words that trigger pictures that have with it a feeling or emotion.

So So you have the words that picture in guilt, feelings. Words picture joy, feelings. Words picture fear, feelings. So this version of truth is always recorded, you see, in 3 dimensions as my version of the truth. And we are always asking ourselves, now the point we need to know about how this thought process works is, we are always making now time decisions based on past previously recorded information.

Right? We're always evaluating what's going on now based on past previously recorded information. We need to know we work that way. Now, when we look at this creative subconscious, it has some functions. One of them we're gonna talk about is one of the functions of the creative subconscious is to make sure that I maintain sanity.

Sanity means that whatever my version of truth is, this creative sub consciousness job is to make sure I act like that version. And anytime I act different than that version of truth, it will introduce anxiety, tension or stress into my system. Anytime I act different than the picture. So I have, for example, many pictures or images of who I think I am. As long as I act like that picture, I'm okay.

If I start to act different than that picture, tension, anxiety or stress occurs in my system. If I start to think about acting different, tension, anxiety, stress will start to occur in my system. So, if I'm saying that I walk a long time on this black road and I just started thinking becoming spiritual, I start thinking about, Soon as I even start thinking about it, tension starts to occur in the system. You see, this creative subconscious, its job is to always make sure I act like the picture. Like for example, let's say for example, I have a picture or an image here that I believe I'm a shy person, I can't talk in front of people and that's the picture.

The creative subconscious, this job is always to make sure I act like that picture. But let's say, for some reason I had to get in talking for the people. Ever notice what happens? See, as you get up to talk in front of people a little while before you get up there, your palm starts to get sweaty, get real sweaty palms. Then you'll notice that your stomach will start to flutter, you get like butterflies in your stomach.

Well, it sends a brain signal from the brain to release gastric juices into the stomach even though there's no food and starts to make it flutter. It'll even affect your respiratory system. So pretty soon your your your breathing just gets out of sync, you just can't seem to get your breath. Now, go to your mouth and shut off the floor of saliva, so you get what's called cotton mouth, right, no spit, your tongue gets big, grab a glass of water, you drink it, you go and you swallow it and nothing gets wet. It just goes straight on down.

And it'll go to your vocal cords and it'll stretch the muscles in your vocal cords, so it stretches when you talk, your voice cracks so it sounds funny. And even though you have the information about the subject of which you wanna talk about, it might be something you just love and you know a lot about it, it will shut down the function of recall. When you get up there, so you all of a sudden your mind goes blank. So there you are, they're ready, you see, sweating and ready to puke and you're making funny noises, you can't remember shaking, you know, and all of a sudden you see, now what is going on? Why does that happen?

The creative subconscious, when the senses see you acting not like you, that's when it happens. It goes to correct for the mistake and that's how it does it. Psychologically, physiologically, it'll do things to your body to get you back to act like the person you believe yourself to be. If there is a fight between success and sanity, which one do you think wins? You can count on it.

Sanity always wins. Until I change the picture. So you see, when we come in and we start working steps, we need to know this is gonna go on. And what we're gonna really be looking at is not the truth about us, we're gonna be looking about the junk. We want to find what is inside of our minds, what words, pictures and feelings, what situations, where have I been living my life out of harmony, I want to know that.

You see, what is causing my life to be unmanageable? Give me the name, give me the story, I'll take it. Because I need to know that in order to, see, in order to fix it. So we need to know that this this process is going on inside of our minds. So when you get that fear feedback, that's not fear, it's just attention system, it's a feedback system inside of our mind.

Just the thought of changing sometimes, see, we'll do it. Let's say, for example, you have somebody who's been in an abusive relationship, say for, I don't know, 5, 6, 7 years, just had a hell beat out of them, stomped on, make up, I promise I love you, if you don't, see. But over a period of time, you just really end up with an image of self or feelings of slow worth and all that, then, let's say you dump that person. Take a break, you see, go to safe house or wherever, get everything back together, then you say, well, I'm a start dating again. Have you ever noticed, people who has been abused, what type of relationship they usually end up in again?

Very similar. A one that's married to an alcoholic will go and marry another alcoholic. But you already know this that, if you know some of them, like let's just say that one other dating that they say an abuser, they end up with a person who is just really good to him. Jesus Christ, he sends him flowers and always trying to hug them and touch them and be intimate. You notice very often what will happen there, they will sabotage that relationship, Very creatively, see, do something to drive that relationship away and your friend will come by and they'll say, excuse me, moi.

That one was the keeper. That was the one you should've took coming to mama. Why did you do that? I don't know. You you just drove me nuts.

You just you were just really touching me and was telling me to shit. You know what? I don't know. I don't know. Just throw me crazy.

But do you see, if you have that picture and you know how you should be treated and your senses see you being treated like you shouldn't be treated, what's gonna happen? The creative subconscious will put anxiety, tension or stress in your system to correct for the mistake. It's a mistake for you to be treated good. It's a mistake for you to be treated kind. So very creatively, go things to do to correct for.

You see, somebody who's been abused can go into a room of, say, 500 healthy men, 3 of them are sick, they can walk in that room, just stand there. And if there's 3 sick ones in there for them, they'll have them lined up right in front of them in about 30 seconds without saying a word. Right? You say, how to hell do I get so lucky I always pick the same one? And very often your friends will say, you know, that's the 7th one you picked.

Only thing you change is the color of their hair. Everyone's always they are not. This one's different. And then 6 months down the road, you say, how come I didn't see it? How how can I be comfortable with somebody like that?

So you can be comfortable living in hell, once you get used to that. You can be comfortable being treated like crap. To be treated good can be uncomfortable. Get creative subconscious always correcting for the mistake until we change the picture. So when we look at these steps, all we're doing is we're going and looking at misinformation, not the truth about who you are, but the junk that keeps us in a way.

You take many of us are raised in native communities, what kind of mistruth do we have in there about who people told us that we were and we believed it? You know the story that was you see on television the story The Wizard of Oz. Everybody see that? There's Dorothy, Scarecrow, the Tin Man, right the line. They got lost, they want to see the Squid witch, whoever it was.

Said, if you they said, we're lost. They said, well, go to the land of Oz, there's a wizard there can help you. He'll help you get back home. See, so out they went to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz. They went out to see the wizard, see, because of the wonderful things he does.

He's got the power, you know. Would you suppose he could? Oh, yeah, the wizard could. Yeah, he can do that. So if you remember when he got to the land of Oz, first of all, that wizard didn't have the power, that wizard was a fake.

He even had to hide behind the curtain. So the lion got up there, wizard found out the lion was a coward and the lion said, this the Huzad said, the wizard said, he says, for all the brave things you've done for Dorothy and Toto, I, the wizard of Oz, I grant you this medal for bravery. Now if you went, you see, in the morning he was a coward, talked to a who said, a wizard said, changed his bleep and off that line when thinking the truth, I now have it. See, a scarecrow had no brains and the wizard said, every smart person has a diploma. I, The Wizard of Oz, I grant you this diploma to be smart.

See? So, our lives sometimes are very very impacted by these wizards, these who said, but I don't know what I don't know, now I know what I don't know. You take a person that goes to medical school, say, for example, in one week before they graduate, you wouldn't go to one of these students and say, hey, I need an operation, right? Do something to me. Patch up my stomach.