Steps 5, 6 and 7 at a Big Book Study in Geneve, Switzerland

Everyone's back. Fed. Good stuff. My name is Simon Clark. I'm a very grateful recovered alcoholic.

Yep. Thanks for lunch. It was wonderful. Thank you. And it's good to be back here this afternoon.

There's a lot of levity in what we're gonna be talking about and what we've been talking about here, and there's a lot of laughter involved in this. But but beneath all of that, there is some passion that I find very difficult to hide, you know. And I gotta tell you that lunch was a great experience, but I will share this with you, is that I had the opportunity to meet a woman in this fellowship, who's been sitting through this conference with the mental obsession upon her, trying to listen to what we've been saying, but with a desire to drink. Dying under our own noses of untreated alcoholism within these rooms today. You know?

And I get pretty passionate about this kind of stuff because I kinda feel a responsibility to tell the newcomer the truth. Hanging around on step 1 for for 2 or 3 weeks is an absolute death sentence to a real alcoholic. Pretty passionate about that. Managed to get her connected with another woman in these rooms who who's available to help her, walk her through this, and get some power. Because the bottom line is is that if the mental obsession remains on her through for the rest of the day, she may well drink.

And for her to drink is to die. I feel responsibility as part of this fellowship to to to tell her the truth. Chapter 6 into action. Alcoholics Anonymous is a spiritual program of action. It's not therapy, nor is it a self help group.

Chapter 60 says into action. It says, having made our personal inventory, what should we do about it? We assume that the the reader or the prospect has now finished the inventory. We've been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. How have we been trying to do that?

We've been working steps 1 through 4. We have admitted certain defects. The book's given us 4. We've ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is. We have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory.

Now these were about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which when completed, will mean that we have admitted to god to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the 5th step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter. I'm not gonna go into too much around that, but, further on down in in the book there, it says, in actual practice, we usually find a solitary self appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further.

We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. It says here, the best reason first. If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time, newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods.

What are easier methods? Taking your time to work the steps. Doing a step a year. 90 meetings, 90 days. Just don't drink, go to meetings.

Call me before you drink. I'm a real alcoholic. The lastly person I'm gonna call before I drink is my sponsor. I'm gonna drink and then call him afterwards. I had to ask myself, what are easier methods?

Almost invariably, they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their house cleaning. They took inventory right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. It goes on to say down here, and this page makes a lot of reference to dishonesty.

On page 73, 3, it says, more than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He's very much the actor. To the outer world, he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.

My actors come from dishonesty and fear. The inconsistency is made worse by some of the things he does on his sprees. Coming to his senses, he's revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him.

As fast as he can, he pushes these memories inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He's under constant fear and tension. Dash, that makes for more drinking. So the dishonesty and the things that I get involved in my sprees and I'll say this, drunk or sober, because I can spree being dry in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous in lots of different areas.

And I've become so ashamed about the the things I do on my dry sprees, suffering from untreated alcoholism, I don't want people to know. Now that behavior generates fear and tension. And then that makes for more drinking. There's a lot to talk about, you know, we've seldom told the whole truth. That's dishonest, Nor have we followed their advice.

Unwilling to be honest. More dishonesty. With these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. More dishonesty. Further on the page, it says, we must be entirely honest with somebody if we suspect to live long or happily in this world.

And then it what the book does is it gives us sort of 5 or 6 or 6 or 7 different people that we can share our inventory with. And it's asking us to consider who we share our inventory with. You know, the book says it may be someone ordained by an established religion, closed mouth understanding friend, a doctor maybe, a psychologist maybe, maybe even one of our own family. But we don't do that if we're gonna harm harm them or make them unhappy. Right?

It gives us lots of different conceptions. I did mine with Peter, and I and I continue to do my inventories. The more I work on my rework the 12 steps, steps, I continue to share my on step 5 with Peter. He understands and approves what I'm driving at. He's not gonna change my plan.

He needs to know my defects of character. He needs to know my defects of character. It says we can postpone step 5 only. However, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity. That's the only reason why we postpone or delay.

We're very anxious till we talk to the right person. It's important that he keep the confidence that he fully understand and approve what we're driving at, that he will not try to change our plan. You see, if I if I followed the instructions carefully up until now, I have a completed inventory of resentment, fear, and sex. I've understood in the 4th column of the, the resentment list my defects of character. Now the reason why it's important that I choose the right person, and in this case it is Peter who's my sponsor, is that he he fully understand and approve what I'm driving at and that won't try try to change my plan.

And my point is, and I've seen this in Alcoholics Anonymous, people going to the wrong person who have no experience of steps 45, reading them in their inventory, and the other person sitting opposite them saying, well, well, you're quite right. Well, no wonder you drank. Well, I'd I'd do that if they did that. Oh, it wasn't all of you. I basically justified what was going on in columns 34 by the actions of the persons in 12.

That's why that's written there. And that's what I've seen, as I've experienced that with with other people. It says, when we when we decide to who is hear our story, we waste no time. Why does that translate into take your time to work the steps? Work a step a year.

We waste no time. We have a written inventory prepared for a long talk. We explain to our partner what we're about to do and why we have to do it. Inventory isn't optional for me. Inventory continues to remove from me manifestations of self that block me on a daily basis, from this power.

I have to do it. I'm powerless. Understood the nature of alcoholism. I'm dying of untreated alcoholism. I need power.

In order to access power, I need to empty out of the resentments and I have the fear I have. Look at my behavior towards the opposite sex. Share it with God and another human being. Then I begin to access power. Says he should realize that we are engaged upon a life and death errand.

This program of alcoholics anonymous, alcoholics anonymous is is is not for everybody with a with a minor problem with drugs and alcohol. This fellowship and this program was created for people that were dying of a disease that that nothing else would work for. Unless I don't get spiritually connected, I will die. Dry or drunk, this illness will kill me. And I'm coming from experience suffering from alcoholism.

I'm running around alcoholics anonymous untreated for 5 years. The illness will kill me drunk or sober. 5th step promises for me, you know, this whole business is aimed at having a spiritual experience, which is a psychic change and an emotional rearrangement within ourselves. It says once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, man to man or man to woman in the eye. And that was good for me because I wasn't really able to look you man to man or man to woman in the eye.

We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Never. Never was I be alone at perfect peace and ease, ever. I was either drinking, using, or when I wasn't drinking and using, you know, I was so uncomfortable in my own skin. I used to pace up and down my apartment like a caged tiger.

Voice is driving me mad. Could never sit still. Couldn't watch a film all the way through. Wasn't able to sit quietly for 5 minutes. Voices were driving me mad.

The great promise of the 5th step here is that once we've done this step withholding nothing, we can be alone at perfect peace and needs. Our fears fall from us. Well, that's great news because further back prior to doing the 3rd step prayer, selfishness and self centeredness is the root of the trouble driven by a 100 forms of fear and self delusion. 5th step promises says that our fears will fall from us. No need to be afraid anymore.

We begin to feel the nearness of our creator. Now we start to access power. Now we start to access power. We may have had many certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. Further back in the chapter of We Agnostics on the on page 44, it says, if when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

Okay? We've been qualified. We understand that. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. I've not even completed the 12 steps yet.

I've just finished step 5. And the book's saying to me that I'm gonna begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared, or the drug problem has disappeared, will often come quite strongly. And I experienced that the first time I went through this as it's laid out in the big book under the guidance of Peter. I shared my inventory with him about 2 or 3 days later.

I woke up, and there was a profound silence between my ears. For the first time in my life, all of those voices that had been driving me insane for for my whole life had gone. Like the silence there is in here right now. That was how quiet my head was, for the first time in my adult life. And I knew something had was different.

I knew something had changed. All of these beliefs I had, that I'm willing to in a power greater than myself, this happened to me after step 5. And now I begin to to know that this power is out there. That there is something out there. Because it has done for me what I couldn't do for myself, and I've only just finished the 5th step.

I hadn't woken up with a ball of fear inside of me. I wasn't worrying about money. I wasn't worrying about whether she's gonna she's gonna stay or is she gonna go. Or am I gonna get paid my commission check, you know, next week or not? Or is he gonna hold that back?

Or am I not gonna have a job? Because that's the stuff that used to consume me. When I woke up that morning, I knew something was different. My feet were on different ground for the first time in my adult life. And I walked straight on the phone and I said, Pete, something's happening.

This has happened. And he said, go to page 75. You're beginning to have a spiritual experience. And when I knew what had been promised to me based on the actions, and the book was telling me I'm gonna get these results, I took the actions and I started getting the result exactly as they're outlined in that book. And I knew for the first time, now I knew that this worked.

This wasn't just a, you know, a pink cloud day as I hear a lot of the time or, you know, one of these things. This was real, and it was a profound experience. I'm fortunate enough. I get to listen to a lot of 4th steps. I work with with a bunch of people, and I and I get to to to listen to to 4th steps in in the form of a 5th step on on a on a weekly basis at the moment.

I have to be rigorously honest when I go through this process and do this with my sponsor. My job as a sponsor, when I'm listening to A 5th Step, I have a piece of paper and a pen, and I make the the 8th step list for the prospect as I'm listening to their 5th step. Presented. And that they've presented. And my job there is is to share some experience on certain things that they've done.

And also to watch out for those defects of character. And I listen very, very carefully. And if I hear any other defects of character coming up, I'll make a note of them and remind them and and speak with them about that. But also, I'm looking at the 8 step list, and I'm making their 8 step list as they're going through. Because when they finish this, as we'll go on Peter will go on, I'm sure, in a moment, 6 and 7, we can see the truth about ourselves.

I could see the truth about myself after that's the 5th step. Step 6 and 7, am I willing to to let this go? Abso bloody lutely. This is the stuff that's been keeping me sick. This is the stuff that that I'm dying from.

It's not their fault anymore. I'm running on selfishness, self seeking, and I'm dishonest and afraid. I need to be rid of that because this is the root of my trouble. When I saw that that was the stuff I was being willing to let go of and it was killing me, I was willing to let that go. Well, I'm not quite sure I'm gonna, you know, let go of all of these.

Fine. Stay sick. Life and death, Aaron. Life and death, Aaron. Okay.

I'm done. Peter, over to you. Thanks, Simon. Peter, our colleague. Hi, Peter.

Hey, Peter. Still recovered. By grace of God. We'll see your book. Interesting that this chapter, where the 5th step is, is called into action.

I thought I'd taken some action in the 4th step, but I hadn't done some reflection in the 4th step. Now I take that someplace else. 123 and 4 are me. I can do it anymore. Now I take that, I take it someplace else.

This is where I begin the action. It's also interaction because now the acceleration is on us. Now it's starting to move. One of the things that, this this talks about a sponsor in here. And one of the things that I was told very very early on in Alcoholics Anonymous was how to choose a sponsor.

And there's certain questions that I have to ask a person that I ask to be my sponsor. Number 1 is, do you have a sponsor? I want my sponsor to have a sponsor. The next one is, is what step you want? Now that sounds very precocious for a newcomer to go after an old timer and ask.

In our group, we say at the beginning of the meeting who is available. We stand up at the beginning of our meeting to say if we're available. If we've had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we're available to have the time to spend with newcomers, and we stand up at the beginning of the meeting, so people can identify who is willing to be a sponsor. This this program also tells me that if I don't give this away, I won't keep it. If anybody asks me to sponsor them, I have never refused.

If anybody ever refuses you when you ask them, will you be my sponsor? And they say, no, I don't have the time. You don't want what they got. Cool. Go find someone else.

Go find someone else. Why would I why would I refuse? Why would I refuse someone the gift of a life? Why would I do that? This was given freely to me by a Glaswegian truck driver in 1981.

Why why and and I don't know where I don't honestly, don't know where he parked his truck, to be honest. It was where I lived. There was no way he could do it, but I don't know. But he came to see me a lot. We did a lot of work on this stuff.

He took time out and he took he took trouble and he took time and effort and made sacrifice to to to pass this on to me. Now, okay, we can turn around and say, when I do this, I get to keep it. Maybe there's a motivation to do it. Why wouldn't I? Why wouldn't I?

And what it says, it says in here, it says that, we we seek out, an acquaintance of a closed mouth understanding friend. That's qualification for a sponsor. A closed mouth understanding friend. It also says, this person is is gonna be able to keep a confidence. I always say to people when they're gonna share a 5th step with me, this is between you, me, and God.

I never share what I've heard with anyone, ever. I may go to my if I hear something really disturbing, I may go to my sponsor and say, I've heard anything I've heard something really disturbing in the 5th step, and it is disturbing me, and he's gonna say, okay, what's it about you that's disturbing you? It's not the other person, it's me now. That's why I need a sponsor. And I know my sponsor's got a sponsor, and my sponsor's sponsor's got a sponsor.

And my sponsor's sponsor probably has a sponsor, though I think he might be dead now. But if you followed it back, you'd get back to doctor Bob. I can I can guarantee it, and not very far? It says, there is a rule. There's a rule.

There's no rules in Alcoholics Anonymous. Here's one on page 74. There's a rule is what's the rule? We must be hard on ourselves, but always considerate of others. So I don't go around and dump on people.

Sometimes, I go to meetings and I want to actually wash the table afterwards. There's been so much dumping in that room. And they go away feeling great and I go away feeling horrible. I wonder why that is. How selfish are you doing that in a meeting?

It's not what they're for. Meetings are not for that. You know what they're for? This is what they're for. This is my favorite page.

I've even cut it out and stuck it in the back of my book, as Bill sees it, page 79. It's you haven't got unless you've got Bill sees it. And he says this, an AA group, as such, cannot take on all the personal problems of its members, let alone non alcoholics and the world around us. The AA Group is not, for example, a mediator of domestic relations, nor does it furnish personal financial aid to anyone. How many meetings have we sat through where we've heard nothing but personal relations?

Though members may sometimes be helped in such matters by their friends in AA after the meeting, before the meeting. It's not that we're not interested in your problems, but let's have them in the right place. Come early, stay late, go for coffee, let's go for a meal afterwards. Let's see what you what how we can help. The primary responsibility for the solutions of all his problems of living and growing will rest squarely on the individual himself.

We take responsibility in here. I'm no longer in my disease. I am now beginning to recover or recovered. I am responsible for my actions now. Should an AI group attempt this sort of help, its effectiveness and energies will be hopelessly dissipated.

This is why sobriety, freedom from alcohol through the teaching and practice of AA's 12 steps is the sole purpose of the group. Sole purpose of the group. If we don't stick to this cardinal principle, we should almost certainly collapse. And if we collapse, we cannot help anyone. In certain parts of the world, IA success rate is through the floor.

Around about 2% in certain places, and there is some anecdotal evidence that that alcoholics recover spontaneously at about the rate of 2%. Which means in certain places, Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't work anymore. Yet in the early days, and if you read the we didn't do it, but if you read the preface to the second edition, we had 50% success rate with people who came straight away, and some people who slipped afterwards another 25%, that's 75% rate success rate. We've forgotten how to do this. We really have.

I I'm I'm I've seen it and I watched it happen. We've forgotten how to do this. We've become self help groups. We've become bad therapy. Therapy full of sick people.

Sick people trying to keep people sick. Trying to keep people well, we just stay sick. I need to work these steps to get power in my life, in order that that I recover from my condition. If I don't recover from my condition, I will drink again. That's it.

That's we're talking about life. We're on a life and death errand here. Alcoholics anonymous deals with life and death. I get very I get very passionate about this, because I've nearly died in Alcoholics Anonymous sober, because I forgot to do this. Well, I got too busy to do this.

My ego regrow. And I started to get very very important, and I didn't need to do any of this stuff anymore. And when I say I'm recovered, I'm recovered, but I'm not cured. When I say I'm recovered, people hear cured. No, I'm not cured.

I will die with this disease with this disease. I will die with this disease, but I don't wanna die of it. And I don't and and and because because I know what the answer is, and because Alcoholics Anonymous ought to know what the answer is, it says on the front of this book, Alcoholics Anonymous, and we took our name of the fellowship from the book, in Cleveland, Ohio, where the guy called Clarence, dropped out of the Oxford groups and said, they don't want all that stuff. Stuff, we're gonna do it our own, we're gonna do what's in here. What are we gonna call ourselves?

Well let's call ourselves after the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. That's why we're called Alcoholics Anonymous. That's why that's why the fellowship is called Alcoholics Anonymous. And we've forgotten what to do in here, and people are dying. I'm serious, people are dying.

I watch people die. Drunken sober over the last 20 years or so. And what I get upset about is the fact that we've got the answer here. And we get stick about talking about it in our meetings. There's some places you can't go in the meeting with the big book.

They stop you they stop you at the door. Don't bring that in here. Just because there's a circle and triangle outside the door, doesn't mean God's inside. There's 2 kinds of people in our consciousness. It's not me, it's a quote from someone else.

There's 2 kind and someone I greatly respect in our consciousness. I've never met him, but I'd love to. And he says, there's 2 kinds of people in our consciousness. Is the people who do the work and the people who bitch and moan about the people who do the work. Who are you hanging out with?

I'm hanging out with the people who do the work, because I need to, because otherwise, I'm gonna die. You know? We do this stuff. I always I say to folks, when they come to see me with the 5th step, tell me the worst thing. Tell me the thing you're gonna go to the grave with.

Tell me the thing you're not gonna tell me right now because after that, it's downhill. After that, it's downhill. Yeah. And I tried I tried to I tried to hold on to some stuff, but I got called out. And it says down here, we're trying to because we're building this this sort of prosaic thing about we're building this arch.

And have we tried to sneak anything through? You know, because it's gonna come up and trip me up in the end. And but this this great thing here is is that, you know, having done this, it says that we're on a broad highway. Now it says earlier on, you know, that God doesn't make hard terms for those who seek him. And, another great a great and alcoholic anonymous, Ray O'Keefe used to say, is this hard terms?

This isn't hard terms. This isn't hard terms. Compared to where I where I come from, this is this is easy. This is easy stuff compared to where I'm from. God doesn't make hard terms.

I take one step towards God. God takes 2 steps towards me. It says here, we're on a broad highway walking hand in hand with the spirit of the universe, you know, on this broad highway. If you know something about this this stuff, I'm gonna I'm gonna start doing it. I haven't done it up till now, but I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell, newcomers when they move, prospects of proteges, sponsors when they come to see me.

The book calls them proteges. When they come to see me, don't bring your big book. Put it up on a shelf at home. Why? Well, you'll see.

Because it says here, they're returning home. Now think about this. Think about where we are. Look, the first three steps, I can do step 1, drunk. Okay.

I can do step 2, the moment I get in the room, or get to, or make a phone call, somebody come and watch them. 12 step call, I can make this step step 2, then. Now I need a power, you're powerless, I need a power. Step 3, I can do very very quickly also, maybe within a couple of days. The big book talks about the second visit.

If somebody walks in the room, why would somebody keep them on step 1? Percep bonnet sponsorship. Why? Step they need to they need if someone in the room, they they ought to work, they're already close to doing step 3. Why else come to Alcoholics Anonymous?

We're the last house on the block. Nobody wants to hang out with us. You're in the room. You're you're seeking a power already. Step 3, let's get them into step 3.

In the old days, they used to take you upstairs and kneel you down, get you surrender in before you even went into the meet. Get into step 3. Step 4 kid, straight away. We need to clear away the crap that's in our way because we need to access power. So So maybe when 2 or 3 days are coming to Alcoholics Anonymous, you'll do an inventory.

How long does inventory take? Well, this takes as long as it takes. I don't want I I personally, ask people to try and do it as fast as possible. Even if it's partial and we gotta get through some stuff. If you're gonna let's look at the 10 things, 10 people, institution or whatever that you're you've got resentment against, let you get clear of those access and power, and then go back and and work some more inventory.

Within day within maybe 2 or 3 weeks, we're into a step 5 situation, Maybe even quicker. I've heard it is stunning hours. There's a really good thing in here. Here's a deal on page 200 and 229 291. If and this is, I hope it's still in the 4th 4th edition.

It might be in a different page in the 4th edition. I have no idea. I'm on the 3rd edition here. But this guy is talking about staying with doctor Bob. And he says, the day before I was due back to go to Chicago, back to Chicago, a Wednesday and doctor Bob's afternoon off.

He had me down his office, and we spent 3 or 4 hours formally going through the 6 step program as it was at that time. Okay. 6 steps, but what they've done with the 6 steps, they expanded them into 12. It's the same steps, but they've just made them into 12 steps instead of 6. They split a couple up.

The 6 steps were complete deflation, 12, Dependents and Guidance on Higher Power 23. Moral Inventory, 5. Confession, sorry, 45. Restitution, 89. Continued work with other alcoholics, 12.

1011 wasn't in there. Peter, it's page 260. 260. Hang on. 262 in the 4th edition.

262 in the 4th edition. Doctor Bob led me through all the steps of the moral inventory. He brought up some of my bad personality traits and character defects such as selfishness, conceit, jealousy, carelessness, intolerance, ill temperate, sarcasm, and resentment. I'm sure he was pleased to hear about that. We went over these in great length in 2 or 3 hours.

And he finally asked me if I wanted these these defects to carry through it removed. I said, yes. We both knelt at his desk and prayed. Each of us asked him to have these defects taken away. Then he went home.

Hours. Hours. And and sometimes newcomers come to archives and numbers, they stay in step 1 for a year. Why? Can I just just finish that off?

Yeah. Sure. If that's alright. It says this picture is still vivid. If I live to be a 100, it will always stand out in my mind.

Now, here it is. It was very impressive, and I wish that every AA could have the benefit of this type of sponsorship today. These steps were designed in order to be worked rapidly, so that the the obsession to drink would be removed from the newcomer and that he could access a power that that this book calls God and that I choose to call God. Now, I just wanna type a couple of things on sponsorship, and we will go into that in, more in more detail tomorrow when we get to the 12 step stuff. But having had the experience myself, my only job as a sponsor is to watch that door in a meeting for the newcomer to come in, speak to the newcomer, qualify him, find out whether he's a real alcoholic or not, find out if he's an alcoholic.

If he is, lay this simple kit of spiritual tools out of his feet, introduce myself as a man who has recovered, and to let him know that I can help him recover. And my new job as a sponsor is to get him through this work as quickly as he'll do it, and as quickly as I can get all I can recommend he does it, which is immediately, guide him to a spiritual experience through these 12 steps, and to impress upon him that he must go and do that with others. My other job as a sponsor is to teach him about the fellowship. What's protocol in meetings, what's not. To teach him about the traditions.

That's my only job as a sponsor. All of his other problems, once he accesses this power called god, will be taken care of this power called god. I'm available to talk to them, but ultimately, I'll always guide them back to this program. That's my only job as a sponsor. I I never I I am quite, I sponsor a lot of a lot of men and a lot of guys.

I will if somebody asks me for sponsorship, I will ask why, and find out if they have a current sponsor, if they're currently working the program. If it's a woman that approaches me for sponsorship, what I will do is try and guide her towards another woman who has had the experience herself in order for her to get working with a woman's sponsor. I have sponsored people long distance. Again, I'll ask why, And I'll try and help them to find a sponsor in their home area, that has had the experience themself. I need to be to I need to be able to tell my sponsor the truth when it's in front of me.

I need to be able to go down there and do step work and drive down there. They're the only times, generally, I I have reviewed sponsorship. I've I've not said no point blank, but I ask why. If it's a woman, I will try and get her directed to another woman who's had the experience. If it's someone else in another country, I'll try and get them connected with somebody in in their home area.

I just think it's very, very important. And I just wanted to to kinda tie that up. And I think the only time I have sponsored a woman is once, and I'll just share with you why. There were no other women available at that time who had had the experience themselves. And this woman was a real alcoholic.

She went through 9 different detoxes at the time, and she was dying in the rooms a day at a time, just not drinking in Alcoholics Anonymous. And what I was able to do is again, I sought counsel with Peter and with a friend of mine in Texas, and they said, if you have a wife or a girlfriend, you may need to get consent from them first before you sponsor this woman. I didn't have at the time. And he said, you know, what your role is is really to get her through this work as quickly as possible, so that she then can become the strong woman sponsor for other women. Alright?

That's just how I've been taught. And I just wanted to kinda tie that up around. So I think we're gonna go into more around the difference between working with others and the difference between sponsorship in tomorrow's session. But, kind of important to tie that up. So thanks, Peter.

Sure. Yeah. Thanks, Thomas. Anyway, we get back home. It says here returning home.

So we we we've we've done our first step with someone. We're returning home. And we find a place where we can be quiet, and there's there's a time. There is actually time written down here for an hour. They actually say, specify an hour.

So I specify an hour. 60 minutes. Not more, not less. Carefully reviewing what we have done. So what have we done so far?

We've done the first five steps. So I I suggest that they read chapter 5 up until step 5. How it works up to step 5? It says, carefully reading the first 5, sorry, reviewing what we've done. We thought here's a prayer.

We thank God. From the bottom of our heart that we know him better is a prayer. We thank God. Now, taking the book down from the shelf, that's why you put it up in the first place. Don't miss anything here.

Don't miss anything. We turn to the page page that contains the 12 steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals, we ask if we've omitted anything. So I look back at each one of my steps. I'm at the stage now where I've shared my inventory with someone.

I thank god for knowing him better. I'm now gonna look at the 5 steps that I've done so far, and I'll ask if I've admitted anything. Have I skimped on anything? Do I have I really admitted I'm powerless over alcohol? Do I really admit that my life is unmanageable?

Have I come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity? Sanity? Have I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of that god as I understand that god to be? Have I made a searching? Is my moral inventory searching and fearless?

Moral, in this context, by the way, means true truth. I'm seeking truth. Most inventories tend to be immoral inventories, but there you go. And then 5, have I admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs? Have I forgotten anything?

I always say to folks, if you haven't told me something, call me after you've reflected. If you think you've forgot something, call me. Tell me before we go on. If we can answer to our satisfaction after the hour. Okay.

So if I can answer those questions. Have I have I, have I have I missed anything out? Have I, skimped on any of these steps? Am I really sure that I am on step 5 and I've shared everything with that person? If I'm can answer yes to those questions, then we look at step 6.

We have emphasized after an hour, we emphasize that we are willing that willingness to be indispensable now we are ready to let God remove from us all the things we have limited objectionable. Can he now take them everyone? If we still cling to something, we will not let go. We ask God to help us to be willing. I'm quite fond of my character defects.

I kind of want to hang on to them. What happens if I'm gonna be the hole in the doughnut if I let everything go? I'm just gonna be a nonentity. Well, nature aborts a vacuum, and I suspect that when my when my character defects move out, maybe the grace of God will move in. I mean and then when we're ready, we say something like this.

It doesn't have to be exactly this, something like this. This is my creator. I'm now willing you share of all of me, good and bad. I pray you now remove from me every single character, defector character, which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Now it took me a long time to notice this, but it doesn't say all my character defects.

What it says is, please remove the character defects, Every single character defect which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. When I do inventory these days, I sometimes think that God kinda wants me to keep some of my character defects because they might be useful to him. I don't know. I don't know, but that's what I'm asking for. Grant me strength as I go from here to do your bidding.

Amen. Now there's an Amen. Notice there wasn't an Amen on the 3rd step prayer. The 3rd step prayer is the beginning of a process, which is a prayer. Step 3, step 4, step 5, step 6.

Step 7 is the amen at the end of that prayer. It's a prayer in action. A long time ago, when I was at school, they told me about that. They said that people offered up their day, their work as a prayer in action. But that's how you did it.

You you What's this these Trappist monks and stuff, that's what they do. They offer up their work as a prayer. This is what we're doing here. We're offering this whole thing up from the time we start step 3 to the time that we get to step 7, we've offered it up. It's a prayer in action.

Yeah. Reflection, sharing our our character defects, asking those character defects to be taken away. Yeah. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding. Amen.

We have now completed step step 7. We're over halfway through the program, guys. Those 2 those 2 took an hour. Those 2 took an hour. My experience of that is every time I do this, I get a new freedom.

When when I start off at step 3, asking for spiritual for some kind of spiritual awakening, I don't know when it's going to happen. When some when a sponsor comes to me, I don't know when it's going to happen. It's going to happen somewhere between step 3 and step 9. But we got to find it, and we got to find it by by doing. I'm done.

Do you wanna finish yourself? I think yeah. Thanks, Peter. Just on 6 and 7. If you're dying of untreated alcoholism and you've been honest and thorough about about your your 4th and 5th step, my experience was when I finally saw that truth in the 4th column on the resentment list, that the root of my trouble was selfishness, self seeking, dishonesty, and fear.

And every effort and I mean this entirely. Every effort I made to run my life had failed. Personal relationships, sexual relationships, work, my emotional state, my mental state, Every effort to run life based on self had failed utterly. And that this was the stuff that was killing me. The willingness to let this power Remember that I'd already began to experience, after step 5, to take it, I knew that that power was capable of doing it, but because of the change that had happened to me after the 5th step, I just let it go.

I don't see, I don't know how to work on my character defects. I don't. I can't work on them. What I need to do is I need to keep take doing inventory and offering them up to this power and ask him for the willingness to let go of them. I can't work on them myself.

I have to do inventory and ask for this power to remove them and take some unselfish action that we'll talk about in amends and in working with others. And it for me, it was just very, very simple. It was that hour. I knew I was screwed. I knew this was the stuff that was killing me.