The first annual Sobriety Omaha Style in Omaha, NE

My name is Chris Ramer. I'm a very grateful recovered alcoholic. Thank you, Chris. And I I am. I'm delighted to be here.

I gotta thank Mike. Where's Mike? Mikey just for calling me a year ago and asking me to come speak. And, so many places they call and they they could just call a few months ahead of time. And I've kinda stayed booked up because I'm evil.

And, people there seems to be a market for evil speakers. So I'm I but he called early and he gave me plenty of time and, Morris and everybody organized this. And I'm I'm so grateful to have an opportunity to come down here and and play with you guys, visit. I'm gonna do this talk for about an hour. This sound will drive you all nuts before it's over with, so I just would break and then my friend Peter is gonna talk.

Peter Marinelli is the classiest guy I've ever known in my life. Jesus. As I'm telling you guys, all you ladies get ready. This guy is so polished. It's like he's the only guy that I've instructed my wife to stay away from.

Don't go near Peter Marinelli. Oh, man. This guy. I'll tell you some stories later. Y'all come in.

I've known Peter for years. And, and we hit it off, I mean, when I first met him because we're all coming from the same place. Guys, there's there's groups of us out there that we we we we get sideways shots at us all the time. They were called big book thumpers and, you know, little AA Nazis and all this. We take all the flack about it.

But the truth of the matter is we're we are we are crystal clear in our primary purpose. See this nice banner behind us? Somebody spent good money to do. That's the bomb. This is what it's about.

We just read it with Traditions. We've got some some we we our primary purpose is as clear as can be. The primary purpose is to carry the message that can help an alcoholic get supp get sober and a drug addict in our other fellowships. And let me tell y'all a little story. It's short and sweet because I'm coming over here.

I'm flying from Denver and, and why in the hell I'm flying from Denver to come to Omaha, from San Antonio, Texas, I have no idea. But that's exactly how it's what I did. So I'm flying over next to this little kid. Is any of y'all have heard me speak from the podium? I know some of you in here I know I've known for a while, but, yeah, I don't I probably shouldn't say this, but I don't like kids.

This because they make me nervous because I don't know anything about them and they always wanna come in. If you got a little kid, there's one in here. He'll be in in my face talking to me about this eye patch in 20 seconds. I mean, that's the way it is. Anyway, I'm sitting in this little this little airplane and this little kid sits down next to me.

Cute as a bug, you know, little shaved head, little glasses, and he's and he's looking at me. He just got set next to the a pirate. Oh my god. I knew I was gonna see Peter today so I'm trying to be spiritual. Otherwise, I'd just abandon but I k.

I finally pulled my head out of my butt. I'm reading a a book and I'm finally get dawns on me. This little kid's not saying anything. And he's little little guy, he's got this coat. He's got this he's cut he's shaking.

And he he got the freaking air air conditioner vent. You know how those airplanes, and they got this thing cranked up a big and and and the little gas is freezing to death. Now I haven't said anything to him because I don't wanna get a conversation started because I don't know what to say to a 5 year old, 6 year old kid. What? Read any good books lately?

I just I don't know what to say. So this look I asked this little guy if if if I can adjust the air conditioner for it. And he looks at me with this look of gratitude on it. He says, it's a little cold, you know. And pretty sure enough, the guy comes down the aisle in the little cart, you know, and he's, do you like a drink?

I said, yeah, I'd like an orange juice. And he looked down, do you want a drink? And the little guy looked and he had that look on his face like and he says, no. No. Thank you.

And the little guy wanted a drink but he didn't know what to do. He didn't know. Do I pay for that? What what can I order? We assume that any anybody that flies knows what to do.

And this little 6 year old kid there is looking at and, of course, the second time he looks at my orange juice, I say, hey, buddy. Come here. Let me fix this up for you. And I hook him up with his own orange juice. You you follow?

Now why would that make me cry? Because I watch people walk in the Alpaw Heights Anonymous every day that don't even have a clue about what this program is about. And we treat them just like everybody treated that little kid on the plane, like he should know. We gotta stop doing that, folks. 27 years ago, I walked into my first AA meeting, and that's exactly how people treated me.

Keep coming back. It works if you work it. They told a bunch of stupid war stories. They pissed and moaned about their stupid day just like we do in our AA meetings today. But nobody ever got around to talking about those 12 steps on the wall.

Nobody ever talked about a big book. Nobody ever referred to the steps. They kept talking about sponsors, but they didn't explain what that was. You follow? And I'm in and out for 7 years.

In and out for 7 years. We we we assume that the little cat that walks in the door should know. And I gotta tell you something, folks. We're doing a piss poor job in our fellowships educating the newcomer about what this is about. And a lot of people, they just come by it naturally because you had the privilege of going to a treatment center where they may or may not have told you how to do this.

You may have had the privilege of having a good sponsor that showed you how to do this, the primary purpose, the explaining, the teaching. Most of us didn't. Alcoholism and drug addiction is rampant in this country, folks. And yet our membership in Alcoholics Anonymous is flat. Hadn't grown in years.

Literature sales of our books are down. Tells me pretty clearly that we are not doing a real good job. Success rates in our politics anonymous today were about 8%. 1955, we had a success rate of 75%. Big Book tells us, archivists back it up, and yet we have about an 8% success rate.

You ought to stand up here and do this talk and watch some of you get so uncomfortable with me talking about this. Sorry. That's what I'm saying, guys. I don't wanna step on anybody. I didn't come all the way to Omaha to piss anybody off, but I'm just gonna say, I'm gonna ask all of you guys to try to come at this with an open mind because, you know, alcoholics have one hope today, and that is our fellowship.

And and we better be talking about the solution in our fellowship or we're gonna hope we're gonna be in trouble. That's all there is to it. I work for a treatment center. I'm pretty passionate about recovery. I watched thousands and thousands of people die of this disease.

People that could have gotten sober just like me had they been given the correct information. Makes sense? Let me let me let me bring something to your attention. Everybody keeps talking about we're gonna wait for so and so to have their bottom. Wait for so and so to hit a bottom.

I think that everybody that's out there drinking will eventually get taken to a place where they just flat don't wanna live like that anymore. The problem is not waiting for that person to hit their bottom. The disease will guarantee that. The problem is making sure that when that person hits a bottom, that they're gonna hear the solution to alcoholism. That they're not gonna hear some chicken shit one liner, and that's all they're gonna hear.

You'll follow me? I'm in AA for 7 years and can't get sober. Everybody comes up guys, I'm gonna tell you. I do I speak out a lot. Every other weekend, I'm in an airport someplace, and my emails are burned up with people that hear those CDs.

They they travel like they're like roaches. They're everywhere. You know, that you can't get rid of them. And and I get emails is If you check the the time they send them to, it's always in the middle of the night and they're drunk, you know. And they send me these scathing emails, you know, they're they're all pissed off.

You just need to understand, Chris. You know, Outposts Anonymous because you didn't want it. I I I gotta tell you guys, I I've tried to change my story because it so it'd be easier for you guys to swallow. But the truth of the matter is that ain't that ain't the truth. The truth of the matter is that there were many times that I walked into the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous in those early days when I was trying to get sober from the from 1980 till 1987 when I finally got sober.

And I'm lay I'm landing in rooms where people just refuse to talk about the solution. We got this idea. AA used to be a spiritual program of action. Bill Wilson and doctor Bob, they put together this spiritual program that that would guarantee us, quote unquote, some sobriety. They would guarantee us a spiritual experience.

We took this solution and turned it into a into a into a some kind of a social organization. Ain't Ain't that right? 1000 upon 1000 upon 1000 of AA meetings and most of them are open discussion held. Why is that? I'm gonna tell you something, guys.

If you want a literature based meeting in this country, you're gonna have to look for it. The good news is there's more of them now than there ever was. And that is the solution. One alcoholic at a time, one group at a time. Take these meetings.

Get away from this open discussion BS. This open discussion hell. See, some of you like those though, don't you? Because you because it's the only time anybody listens to what you got to say. I don't know what to tell you about that.

Unbelievable. Look at the people we were talking the other day at a at a deal. Look at the cats that are grinding their teeth about open discussion. Now they're not the real old timers. The real old timers, they don't have anything to do with just the open discussion meetings.

And new guys, this room is full of new sobriety. I mean, just looking around this room, new, young, vibrant, people excited about recovery. They're not pissing and moaning about the they don't mind. They they are looking for just for open, they're looking for literature based meetings. The cats that went through treatment in the eighties nineties, they're the ones that have glommed onto this open discussion shit.

This idea that we're gonna have an extension of our process group when we get out of treatment. If you have a problem, go to AA and talk about it. Hey. Don't. I love Alcoholics Anonymous.

I love all of our 12 step fellowships. Just like I love that little freezing kid in that airplane next to me this morning. And I guarantee you, I feel a real, allegiance, a real sense of responsibility to make sure that that newcomer coming in the door, here's the solution. See, my concern is not whether you get sober or not. It's not.

Because I don't know when you've hit that bottom. I don't know when you've gotten ready to do this deal. I don't know. But I'm gonna guarantee you, I do feel a sense of responsibility to make sure that you get to hear the solution when you finally get here. Makes sense?

That means I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna lobby for good, strong literature based meetings, and I'm gonna lobby for good, strong sponsorship. We're gonna be very directional in trying to help you get through this fatal illness. It's It's all I can do. And I realize that what I'm gonna say, I'm gonna tell you real quick about my story and how I got here. I'm gonna tell you this right now.

I'm not trying to offend anybody. Buddy, I'm telling you because I hear it until the cows come home. You come back up here. Well, my sponsor said, well, my well, when my counselor said, I don't give a good what's your sales? I don't care.

What does the big book say? If you guys read real closely, if you read Bill Wilson's subsequent literature, if you read doctor Bob's literature, they were so specific about not messing with these 12 steps. There's no personal interpretation, doctor Bob said, of the 12 steps. This is not quickly. You're gonna have quickly.

You're gonna have a spiritual experience and we're gonna get down you you follow? But everybody felt like they could just come in here and put their own twist on everything. Did any of you guys wanna work this step? Oh, you come in here all busted up, drunk on your butt. You come in here and there's a, oh, goody.

Now we get to work the step. Nuh-uh. Uh-uh. We just resisted it from start to finish. You with us?

And every time that you guys come in there, you ask about working the steps, and you got someone geez over there letting you off the hook, we're doing you a disservice. We're doing you a disservice. I've told this story a million times. I gotta tell it again because somebody just told me this guy passed away. I was up in Seattle doing a talk one night and this old geezer, his name was Bill.

And I got a chance to hug his neck after the meeting. And he was a good egg. But he was talking he was a skid row bum. And, and and getting sober up in the Oregon, Seattle, or somewhere up in the north. And he said he he was in AA about 4 days.

He'd been he'd he'd he'd contacted Alcoholics Anonymous and and he said his old car drove up and it was this guy's sponsor. And he handed him a notebook, says it's time to start working on your 4 step. And he showed him how to do it, and he got back in his car, and he left. He said this guy's 4 days sober, and his sponsor's giving him a notebook to do his 4 step. And that it was 200 people in the room and this and everybody was laughing their butts off.

Oh, could you imagine how stupid is that? I'm sitting back in the back with all my little big book thumpers. We're looking at this like, what's what's there to laugh about about that? It's exactly what we're supposed to do. Somebody's stupid damned opinion about taking your time to work the steps.

Oh, I can't imagine doing a 4 step when I was 4 days sober. It took me 6 months just to be able to think clearly. This so the fact that you are mentally retarded means that everybody else is too. Is that what you're telling me? I tell you, there's some great people out there in the fellowship that write about this.

But I was talking to some of the brothers that work in a treatment center earlier. There there's this little thing out there. Some of y'all have heard me talk about it in CDs before. But there's this little thing out there called, this little window of opportunity that takes place as we come in and get detoxed and get the physical stuff out of our system. There's, well, what it is is God's grace.

What the fellowship wants to do is call it the pink cloud. You've you've heard it referred to as both. But what it is is a little window of opportunity to finish work in the 12 steps. Bill Wilson wrote about it. He talked to you.

It just it's just you've seen them happen. They come in. They spend about a week there. They start to get detoxed. And all of a sudden, they start showing up at the beaties and and they look great and they smell great and they're starting to clean up.

And some old son of a bitch sitting around the corner and say, oh, don't worry about it. Sooner or later, he's gonna fall and bust his ass, you know. And he's they're making fun of him, you know. He's on this pink cloud. It's God's grace.

It's a normal phenomenon that takes place. If you can work the steps while you're in that spot, you can stay sober. Everybody keeps thinking, I heard I heard a guy in a meeting in San Antonio 2 weeks ago. Guy said, don't worry about don't worry about getting these people to do a 4 step. When they get enough pain, they'll do it.

I wanna puke. You know what they do they do when they get enough pain? They could they go drink or go out in the backyard and shoot themselves? Yeah. We need to stop sharing opinions in our fellowship, I think.

I think we need to stop stop sharing what we think we know about this fellowship and really start talking about what we absolutely know. What we what we can what we can back up with the literature. We then we wouldn't have so many people in and out, in and out, in and out. You know, most of the people that call me and email me are relapses, chronic relapses because that was me, guys. I gotta tell you.

I I grew up down in the hill country and, little I mean, no kidding, guys. I mean, somebody said the other day, I wanna come see you where you live. Like, why? Go and find your old burned out trailer with nothing around it, and that's where I live. I mean, it's just it is that just a poor part of Texas and and, but I was raised there.

And my dad was an alcoholic and my twin brother and I caught that old genetic bullet. And we we were drinking and, you know, rest of my family is as normal as could be. But we we were kind of goofy and, and pretty successful but we were like what we would call periodic. We would we would drink for periods of time and stay sober for periods of time but but the internal discomfort was so horrendous with me. It wasn't even funny.

And, I started seeing doctors early on for the depression, boredom, anxiety. They'll follow. Lot of y'all in this room right now are taking medications for that stuff. For me, it was called untreated alcoholism. And, I'm not saying it is for you, but for me it was.

And, every time you go to another doctor, they give you another diagnosis. Oh, them them idiots over at that hospital, they don't know what they're doing. This is what's wrong with you. And it's like, I said, who knew? You know?

Oh, so what's the solution? Well, just eat this pill. Oh, goddamn. Alright. I like pills.

Let's go. I just I'm and I've lost a wife and I've lost a couple of businesses and, but I'm not going to jail. I'm not robbing liquor stores. I'm just not a very happy camper. And, in 1987, I'm working for my twin brother.

I was in the food business for years and pretty successful, but I can't do that anymore. And he's got a big book bindery in Lewisville, and, I'm working for him. And, and I try to commit suicide. I I'm taking 7 pills a day. And they're happy over there.

I I speak so often, folks, and I still say this. I do such a piss poor job explaining my life in those last days. I just I don't I just don't have the vocabulary to explain how messed up I was. I started mixing some outside issues with the alcohol and and I was I was nuts. I was insane.

The the particular outside issues that I was using made you go really fast and, and rotted your teeth and usually landed you in jail quickly and caused a lot of paranoia. And, oh my gosh. I'm just not a happy camper. And, I'm in therapy for years talking about everything under the sun trying to fix the problem. People give me a bad rap, say I'm not in therapy.

I've I love therapy. Even today, I love therapy. And, but the therapy ain't working because we're talking. We're trying to connect the dots. Chris, why is it that you can't leave the alcohol alone?

Why can't you just drink like normal people or stop altogether? And, the there in the therapist out there in the 10 years could explain to me why. And we we looked at the whole it's mom or it's dad or it's my sister. It's about identical twin brother. I got hit the eye with a rock when I was a kid in case you're interested.

There's a rock fight and, you know, we talked about that until the cows come home. We talked about growing up in the food business and we talked about being ugly. I'm a homely man. We talked about that. I've stood in front of more mirrors and done more positive affirmations than you can shake a stick at.

And I know some of you have benefited from those, but I'm gonna tell you something. Even to this day, I feel ignorant just just thinking about what I used to say in front of those mirrors. Yeah. Nothing's working. And in 1987, I got, I just had reached my end and I was hopeless.

And I had, tried treatment. I done treatment. I outpatient facilities and we talked about triggers until the cows come home. And, I have a real problem with triggers today. I have a real problem teaching it.

I have a real problem talking about it Because there's nothing external causing me to drink. Folks, if I'm drinking because of something out there, I'm not an alcoholic. Can y'all get down with that? Alcoholism is a combination of a physical allergy that that that it's not actually an allergy, but it's a physical response in my body that, that that sets me up for a thing called craving. And I once I start to drink, I can't I can't control at certain times how much I drink.

You couple this thing with a mental the mental insanity, the book spends 20 pages talking about. If any of you guys wanna question anything I ever say, go to page 23 to 43 in the big book because it clearly says everything we're talking about in this talk. This mental insanity tells me to drink. It says I won't remember the consequences of even a week or a month ago. It means I'm not gonna remember my shit much less your shit.

You follow? I know why we teach it in treatment and early sobriety, but there's too many people out there believing that if for the rest of my life, if I could just be careful and watch what I think or see or hear or whatever, then I won't have to drink or go do dope. That's ridiculous. It's stupid. This room, folks, is is there's a bunch of people in here that are alcoholics.

Y'all with us? Some of you are imposters. Some of you are imposters. Some of you are not alcoholic. Some of you guys are just flat goofy to the core.

And because somebody threatened you, you quit drinking. And now you're sober a long time killing people with your bullshit. You need to stop. You need to go away. Book says yeah.

Now some old geezer tonight in Lincoln, Nebraska is gonna hear us this CD. And he's gonna say, he's killing people. He's telling people they can't come to Alcoholics Anonymous. Didn't say that. I'm just saying if you're not one of us, you don't need to be here.

Go away. My book clearly states clearly states, if you can stop because you want to, if if you can stop because you need to, you're not one of us. If you on your own power can just say, I ain't gonna do this crap no more and make it stick, you're not one of us. If listening to Led Zeppelin makes you think about drinking and the only time you drink is when you listen to Led Zeppelin, you might wanna quit listening to Led Zeppelin. But my experience abundantly confirms, I drink no matter what.

I drink when I listen to Led Zeppelin. I also drink when I listen to Patsy Cline. Stanley Clark, we're screwed. Just turn the radio off altogether. I had a counselor tell me that one time, buddy, you just need to stop listening to music.

Obviously, that's your problem. Are you nuts? I I drank when I ate too. What's the what's the logical progression here? Oh my god.

I'm not trying to make fun of that stuff, but I am. We just read it earlier. What did the book say? The book said we the book said that no human power can relieve what's wrong with us. You follow?

This is my this is my okay. So if I no human power can relieve what's wrong with us and I'm a human power, that means I can't keep myself sober. That means I need something bigger than myself to do that. That means I need this thing called a spiritual experience. Everybody in the treatment center industry that I'm a part of, they wanna nod their head.

Yes, sir. That's right. We need that spiritual experience. Okay. Open your book back to where we were talking about triggers.

Get your Gorski relapse prevention workbook grid out and let's talk I I I easy one to why? Why? Because we're gonna lie to somebody and tell them they can keep themselves sober? I said I wasn't gonna do this tonight. God dang it.

And here I am doing it again. See. Alright. Where's my here's the deal. Here's the deal.

It's standing on 1 foot in the corner naked, got you sober, rock and roll. And I can't take away from that anymore than you should be able to take this stuff away from me because this is my experience. But the experience that I'm sharing up here is that I tried all of that middle of the road stuff. Experience that I'm sharing up here is that I tried all of that middle of the road stuff. I tried the easier, softer way.

I tried doing it my way. I tried doing it their way, and it didn't work. Folks, I'm gonna tell you something. I didn't need to hear a message. I've heard 100 of messages.

What I needed to hear was the message. And the message was, you work the 12 steps, you're gonna have a spiritual experience that'll knock you out of the water, that will allow you to be around alcohol and dope with the absolute impunity. It will place you in a position of neutrality, safe, and protected. And you can go on out there in the world and kick butt and take names and be who God wanted you to be all along. Or you can continue to be a prisoner of this idea that somehow you're participating in all of this.

It's a joke. Is alcoholism a disease or not? We but but but you come into treatment and everybody comes in and everybody comes into AA. Alcoholism is a disease and then immediately we talk about it like it's a behavioral problem. Why do we have so many open discussion meetings?

Answer me that question. Because the newcomer needs a place to talk about his problems. Why? That's like me walking in the room with a case of cancer and wanting to talk to you about my freaking weed eater one more time. What does that got to do with anything?

Nothing. Yes? Who who who of us in this room that have been sober for a few years, haven't gone into a meeting and used it as a dumping ground for our problems? Who in here haven't haven't done I've done it. I make amends to you now for doing it.

If I can ever clean it up, let me know how. How selfish of me. How arrogantly selfish of me to think I can go into a meeting and take up an hour talking about my shit. And how arrogant of you to think you can do it. Go find a counselor.

Go find a therapist. Go find a a freaking friend. Let's go to Denny's. No. Come on, guys.

This is the only game in town, I'll call it synonymous. This is where the newcomers are coming. I tried to commit suicide in 1987. Aboard of the attempt, I heard God some voice said, don't do this. Go back to AA.

And I went back to Alcoholics Anonymous the next day. Day. You'll follow? Walked back into a meeting. Every knucklehead in that room was carrying a big book.

Never been to one of these meetings before. Everybody was A big hardback big books. They hurt worse than these little ones. Come on, guys. Everybody was carrying 1.

And I'm telling you, they were laughing just like we're laughing. And they look good. And they smell good. And I was so resentful. I was just I just like I if you knew how bad I felt, you wouldn't be laughing so hard.

You know what I mean? If I'd had a gun, I'd have shot them. And, that was back in the day you could smoke and they all had 3 or 4 cigarettes hanging out of their mouths. Oh my god. And I've talked to from a 1000000 podiums and told the story.

There's a little girl about 19 who got up between me and the door and wouldn't let me out. I'm backing out. And this little girl gets between me and the door and slides. Guys, if she'd been off in a young adult meeting, I'd have been dead. That's why I'm saying it's so nice to see the young people in here not out hiding out in some other meeting.

I'm not knocking those meetings. I'm just saying mainstream AA is where the people are coming. We need to change mainstream AA back the way it was supposed to be so that we can help everybody. That's what I think. She hooked her finger in my belt loop, set me down in a chair, and got me a cup of coffee and a paper towel.

And she did exactly for me what I did for that little kid in that airplane this morning. She she showed me the ropes. She taught me what to do. Those I'm gonna tell you something, folks. Those people in that group, it's the the group is still there now.

The meeting's changed. You won't find the same thing there anymore. It's the personalities have taken over. It's nothing but open discussion hell now. But at the time, it was a literature based meeting and I believe God dropped me in that meeting.

I believe God took me to that place. I just believe it. And they they gathered around me. I hear people in meetings all the time. You know, we're gonna we're gonna love you until you can love yourself.

Those people showed me they loved me, folks. They stood right there and they showed me what to do. They taught me about big books and getting the steps and they hooked me up with a sponsor that night. And they asked me if I was ready to get sober for good and for all. They asked me if I was done.

Not one day at a time. They asked me if I was done. I said yes after some discussion. And the next morning, they were on the doorstep and they dragged that little skinny butt back to that AA meeting and we started doing the work. They opened the book and they qualified me.

Guys, I've been in AA for 7 years and nobody ever bothered to qualify me. They asked me if I had a problem with alcohol. I said, yes. But hell, they they never asked me the questions to find out if I was an alcoholic or not. And that's what something that we've stopped doing.

We need to start doing that. We need to stop assuming that just because you've darkened the door of our AA, meaning that you belong there. We need to we need to question this. It's not a social event, folks. They qualified me.

We got on our knees that afternoon doing 3rd step prayer. And then they did just like the old bill that gave me a little notebook and showed me how to do a 4 step. Guys, it wasn't complicated. They just said start writing the people down you hate, that you're pissed at. I can do that.

Says you're not gonna do anything to sit at home and detox anyway. They'll give you something to ride. And they did, guys. 2 weeks later, I've got a completed 4 step. I'm sitting on the tailgate of my truck and I have this absolute overwhelming obsession, this this this this feeling of of neutrality around the alcohol and dope.

I'm 2 weeks in, and the obsession of drink is gone. I don't know when it happened. I just know it happened and hadn't returned in nearly 20 years. And I talk to people all over the country who are having the same experience I've got. Why we why are we waiting for people to work the steps?

Why are we messing with this? We only have one message. You wanna scare the newcomer off talking about God, do you? What do we got to sell here? If we're not gonna talk about the spiritual experience, what do we got to talk about?

If he's got a problem with God, let him go drink some more. It's what the book says. He'll come back. When are we gonna stop walking on eggshells, folks? When are we gonna stop walking on eggshells around the message that we're supposed to be carrying?

You think this is some kind of social deal we're selling you something? We only have one thing. It's the 12 steps. You work the steps the same way I work the steps. You work the steps the same way I work the steps.

Same thing. You happen to be a young woman, I happen to be an old geezer. Same thing. You're gonna have a spiritual experience that's gonna knock your knock your lights out, will change you forever. Jesus.

Those guys had me busy. They had me cleaning up on a cleanup committee. They had me answering the phones. They just they just they got me involved, obviously, just like this room does. Lot of you guys in this room doing it.

Lot of you guys in here I've talked to, you're active in the fellowship. In Texas, buddy, back in the day, they wouldn't let you do jack shit till you've been sober a year. You can't chair a meeting till you've been sober a year. Excuse me? Who came up with that crap?

You can't work the steps until you've been sober 6 months. Peter and I were in in Europe. We've been to Europe a few times together. But we we the you would not believe the crap that's going on in Europe. They do a thing called the German method.

You stay sober a year and then somebody will start working you through the 12 steps, one step a a month until you get finished. Holy shit. You mean you mean I can I can finally have my guaranteed spiritual experience 2 years in? If you can stay sober without the spiritual experience, you ain't one of us anyway. Why why waste your time?

And we wonder why our success rates are sitting at 8% because we got too many people sharing opinions like that. Folks, the book says on page 129, we gotta work with others as quickly as possible. We gotta get involved. As soon he says in those 1st days of convalescence, nothing will help you stay sober like intensive work with others. That's what this is about.

I gotta say a couple of things. Git. We got a meeting in the Hill Country. These people have heard me talk about them before. They know I don't like them.

They don't like me either. It's a bunch of old geezers that meet in Kerrville. Bunch of old timer. It's an old retirement community. And these old geezers get together every day at lunch and they meet.

Collectively in that one room, there's probably a 1000 years of sobriety in that room. I mean, they're they're they're old sobriety, good sobriety, good eggs. I love them every 1. I have a little problem with the way they do their meeting at lunch, where nobody can go to it? Where are they on Wednesday nights when the treatment centers are looking for meetings to to, you know, bring their buses?

We have a meeting over at the outpost in Ingram, Texas, and and there'll be 3 or 4 buses pull up. Where are they there? They're not. They're in an open discussion meeting talking about their stupid day. And then they wanna come into our meetings and pick up a chip.

I'm so grateful. Little guy who got a sponsor in 6 months, he leaned over and says, who the hell is that? I don't know. He's got 30 years. I've never seen him.

Thanks for nothing. Thanks for nothing. I'm gonna tell you, guys. You cats with multiple years of sobriety that continue to come to our meetings and carry the message of hope back to the newcomer. I'm gonna tell you, you are so loved and respected in this world.

And you have a you have a special place in my heart. If you're a woman and you're hanging around this fellowship and you've got multiple years and you're actively sponsoring other women, you are are you are a gold mine. You are so in demand in this fellowship it's not even funny. Number one email I get from around the world is women looking for women to do the work with. Lots of women out there that could tell you how to take a fucking bubble bath, but not too many of them could tell you how to finish a 4th step.

You old geezers with long periods of sobriety that still come take your place at the table and help us carry the message. I'm telling you, my you I love you. The cat in my sponsorship lineage, a guy named Paul m, celebrates 60 years in August. How cool is that? Thank you for sticking.

All of you guys that are hanging around this fellowship carrying the message. Because guys, this is how this works. The message that's gonna change the world in Alcoholics Anonymous is not gonna happen from this stupid podium. It's not gonna happen from some stupid treatment center. It's not gonna happen in a halfway house or a trip.

It's not it's gonna happen. 1 alcoholic sitting across the table from another alcoholic. Go down with this with a book open, carrying a clear message. Where I get a little cranky, as you can see, is these people that insist on misrepresenting what Alcoholics Anonymous was intended to be all along. If you look at the websites out there right now, there are hundreds of websites that's all with their whole sole purpose is to take shots at Alcoholics Anonymous.

If you guys want these sites, I'll be glad to give them to you. You can read and see what kind of a crappy, reputation that we have out there in certain segments of this country. And every one of those sites are built on misrepresentations of what this fellowship is supposed to be. Makes sense? I'll tell you one I read just the other day.

Guy guy guy's got this whole 1000000 page blog knocking Alcoholics Anonymous because we have an illness that we'll always be sick with. Because Alcoholics Anonymous says that we'll always be recovering. Alcoholics Anonymous doesn't say that. The stupid treatment center you went to says that. I need to tell you folks, my name is Chris Raymer, and I'm a recovered alcoholic.

I haven't obsessed about alcohol in nearly 20 years. I'm as recovered as I'm gonna get. Still got a few character defects. I've cussed a few times in this leg. I'm to just tell you point blank, I'm better than I used to be.

I'm still not where I wanna be. Guys, God continues to change me. God continues to use me in different ways. And I'm so grateful that he's allowed me to to change, to stay sober, to do that. But guys, 2 weeks in, the obsession was lifted and never returned.

This idea this is why we can't keep the young adults in our meetings because we're too busy watering this goddamn message down. We I it it drives me crazy. We got I thought it's anonymous out there suing members for whatever reason in the world. But the media out there can take any shot they want at us, and nobody's gonna stand up and say it's wrong. Treatment centers can say that we'll always be recovering, but nobody wants to refute that.

My book, big book tells me to introduce myself as a man who has recovered. Y'all understand that? So why is it that you go into a meeting and introduce yourself as a recovering alcoholic? My suggestion to you is to finish the damn steps. Have a spiritual experience.

Carry that message of hold back into this is ridiculous. Treatment center started that crap. Scalded the daylights out of a bunch of you with that. Sorry. Bunch of you didn't applaud.

You're the one sitting in the meetings introducing yourself as a recovering alcoholic. You're the one carrying the message that we're gonna be sick, and we're gonna remain sick the rest of our lives. Shame on you. Shame on you. My book says don't do that.

My book says introduce yourself to the new man as a person who has recovered. If you haven't a You'll understand how little controversy you would have in this fellowship if everybody would just come straight out of the book? 90 meetings in 90 days. Oh, my God. Why?

Why? Show me in here where it says going to a meeting is gonna keep you sober. Could you? It's not in there. I'm not knocking meetings.