Q&A session at the CPH12 v9 convention in Copenhagen, Denmark

Alright. Now, what what we have here is, we have the question and answers if you would. You got a box right here and then we're gonna end it up. Okay. Unless someone wants to raise their hand.

Does anybody have a question right now? Is is there is there a roving microphone, somewhere? Or Or can you just talk loud? Here we go. All the big books are coming out.

Oh my god. They're gonna start asking big book questions. You you always wanna raise your hand and, Hallie will give you the, It doesn't have to be a question. It can sharing. It could be anything anything you want.

Give me the best one. Sure. No questions? Wait. When will we be back?

That's sweet. When will we be back? That is the question. We were hoping for extravagant praise. Well, Pali's gonna have to answer on that one.

I think, you're changing your whole meeting system here, aren't you, Herb? What we'll do now is, is, sit together on the committee and discuss the future of this convention. We'll have a new convention. If it'll be here in this building, we don't know, but there will be another convention. And if it will be Doug and Chris, I don't know, but they will be just as good as Doug and Chris.

If that's possible. Oh, yeah. Right. That's possible. There's a question in the back.

Some tall business to fill. There's a question in the back, Doug. Okay. Hi. My name is Anderson.

I'm an alcoholic. How are you? I was just wondering how much time do you spend on species that's already done the steps 1 through 9 and are doing 10, 11, and 12 per week? Because you said you had 50 spun seats, and you only want them to call you when they actually done some of the program. So how much time do you spend with them?

When do you talk to them? Stuff like that. Well, first first of all, there's I see 3 stages in working with others, with another individual. The first stage is I'm I'm their sponsor. I get them through the steps.

2nd stage is just because you've gone through the steps doesn't mean that you're gonna have a lot of real answers for every single situation sober. So there's a mentoring period. And that's like just giving them decent sober advice, you know, how to handle how to go to traffic court, you know, the things that we all need. And the third part is a peer relationship. That that means that we're we're both looking eye to eye.

We're both on the, you know, trudging the happy road to destiny together. And neither one of us have any any hold over the I'm not in charge of them anymore. They can call me their sponsor, and I can call them their my. But basically, they're they're going about their business helping other people. And whenever I'll see them at meetings or we're friends.

We'll go running together or whatever. But as far as an interaction like as as a drama coach or a counselor, that usually is over fairly quickly. And then we're we're on the team that's out there trying to help other alcoholics. So I can sponsor 50 people and and not get one phone call in a week, and it wouldn't be unusual. It's it's just it's this is the way I I I do it, you know.

I wanna prepare you to be of help to other people when the preparation is over. You know, sometimes I'm really good friends with people. Sometimes, you know, the people I work with are kinda horses' asses, and, you know, and we don't spend much time together. But, you know, for the most part, we'll see each other at meetings or activities or whatever. I'm considered, I'm considered the mechanic of, of the United States in a way where, people will say, they may go up to, to Pali and say, will you sponsor me?

Most of them will say, well, only if you go to Doug's house on Saturday and you go through the steps, then I will sponsor you. So I'm I'm the I'm the mechanic that will show the people the mechanics on how to get to the spiritual awakening, which relieves these guys from doing it. I'll just burn and turn them out and then give them back so that they could, have a, have a sponsor or as I like to call them, a sharing partner to bounce, life ideas off their heads. But I I don't do the life idea thing. I'm just I'm the mechanic.

I show you how the big book was written, the history of it, how it works, how to do your daily inventory. I get you through the 4th step and, and then I I pass you back on. So I'm more the mechanic guy. So I I I've done, I think I brought, 80 to a 100 people through the steps in in 5 hours in one day in, in New Jersey. And so people ask me to come and do that and I'll I'll I bring I bring a lot of people to the steps.

1,000, actually. It's it's absolutely great. I'm not very patient. If someone starts whining, I I even hang up faster than him. So it doesn't work very well for me.

You know, I love the a and a groups in New Jersey. Oh, man. They're Because if, you know, every once in a while somebody will wander in and raise their hand and say, oh, you know, I had a really bad day today. All of a sudden Pens. Yeah.

They start throwing pens. A pen flies over at them and somebody hands them a piece of paper and says, okay, inventory. They give them an inventory. They're like, they give you this inventory. What?

What? And then when they're done with inventory, 2 big guys will come and they'll lift you up. They'll make amends. You are gonna you you will make amends later tonight. Here's a phone.

Here's a phone. Cola. Yeah. Right now. Hard.

What? What? You know? They're dragging out. They rarely come and share problems again.

I don't my share. It says, what do you say to your prospect on the first visit to sell them the idea of Alcoholics Anonymous? I say this, if you're in Alcoholics Anonymous right now, you're not on a winning streak. You wanna come over to my house at 10 AM? That's it.

If they come over my house at 10 AM, the second thing I do is I don't get their telephone number. I mean, I I I don't take their a lot of people in the United States, here, take my telephone number. And they're thinking in the back of their head, please don't call me. Please don't call me. Please don't call me.

Here, take my number. You give the wrong number. I I I say, come here. Give me your telephone number. Give your spots a number.

I take the way they used to do it back in the olden days in 19 thirties in when AA first started, they used to take well, I don't even know it was telephone, but I take the telephone number and I call them. Hey. Remember me? This is Doug from the from the, Wednesday night men's group, in Fernandina Beach. Do you, do you wanna still take me up on my offer?

I still have, some space available in my house. I'd like to see you from 10. 9 times out of 10 breaks my heart. Well, you know, I I checked with my before they even say I checked with my I said, hey, man. If you want me, I got your number.

I'll call you back and I hang up. That's it. So that means they're definitely not serious. So that's why I do it. How do you do it, Chris?

Here's one that's kinda related. It's a question. How do you hold sponsors accountable? I make them wear an ankle bracelet that gives us 700 volt shock. You know you know who you need to be accountable to really is to God.

If I'm taking somebody through the steps and they're blocking or whatever, you know, I'm not I'm not a dictator type of sponsor. I don't beat you up. I don't shame you. I don't demean you. I just don't work with you.

It basically says in this book, if if the prospect will not work with you, you may have to drop him for a while. He may become willing after he drinks a bunch more times or whatever, and that's kinda what it says in your side. I kinda follow that. You know, there are there are 2 things that I get involved with directly if my guys are one of them is is if they're 13 step predatorial. In other words, I've had some guys that, you know, they may have 3 or 4 years and a good looking new woman comes in and zoom, they're right there.

I've got an issue with that. Okay? I got an issue with that. It may say in this book that God is the arbiter of our sex conduct, but I take issue with somebody trying to divert the attention of a woman away from the recovery process and get her involved in a sexual relationship before she's had time to get her feet on the ground with a program of recovery. I take exception to that, and I will have words with my sponsees.

Now they may tell me to go pound, but I will have words with my The other thing is if they try to evangelize in AA. If they try to if they try to tell you what Jesus to believe in, I've got an issue with that too. Because, anybody in here ever watch Star Trek, the the show? Remember the prime directive? You know what the prime directive was?

Don't interfere with anybody's spiritual growth. And I believe that you can interfere with somebody if you've got let's say you're say you're a such and such aologist or something, and you've you've got the you've got this book and it's the way, and you you grab a new cover and you start saying, don't worry about the big book. Here you're here. You know, you're gonna be saved. You'll be saved.

I've got an issue with that. I don't want anybody taking anybody's attention away from the recovery process because we're not here. We're really not here to save your soul. We're here to save your ass in the first couple of couple of, couple of months in AA. Then you can go about the business of saving your soul.

But if any of my sponsors are doing any of those two things, I get directly involved. Those are really the only things I hold them accountable for. Alcohol holds them accountable for everything else. Hey. I don't discriminate either.

I do the same thing with women, 13 Step in men. So I don't Sarah, alcoholic. Hi. I'm Sarah, alcoholic. Hi.

What what do you say to people who doesn't believe in in God or or Buddha or anything? Atheists? Yeah. You take that. Yeah.

I gotta take this. This is your experience. I gotta take this. This is my experience. I was good at this.

When I first came into AA and I heard about this God, I would, get up and do this. I'd make sure everybody knew that I was leaving the room because you were talking about God and I just I was I hated it. I just really disliked it. So I didn't make it to a lot of meetings in the 1st 90 days. Although I was in I was in Happy Hills for 72 of those 90 and a padded room for 28 of those days.

But, what I would say to them is, and I I've run into 2 atheists since I've since I've been through the work, true atheists like like me. And, what I say to them is that, do you believe that I have an unbelievable life? And they all look at me and they say, absolutely, I have that belief. Do you believe that I believe with all my heart that there was some type of higher power that I am able to tap into that brought me to here? And they and and they always make sure they say this, I believe that you believe that.

I said, well, that's good enough. This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna go through the work. And at step 12, if you don't get it and then I pause. And they say, and get what?

Well, it happens. Then you die. Just like my sponsor said to me, then you die. But having said that, I say to him, I have never ever seen that happen, ever. Not to this date.

Not seeing somebody get a spiritual awakening who has thoroughly followed the path of the big book and the 12 steps. That's how I do it. Makes sense? Hey, Mike. I'm a hello, I'd like to ask about, what you said about, having account management on on on your coins in the group.

You you pass so many coins out and you get something in return. And it's I mean, it's a technical question. How do you how do you manage that? Yeah. Chris what Chris is talking about, they did that accounting of the chips in Houston, I think, once.

Didn't they? And they found out that, like, nobody here states over there. There was a there was a a group, a very big group. It's easier to do it with the very big groups in, in Texas. They kept track of chip sales.

Now down there, they'll they'll they'll buy different coins of different, for different years sobriety. They found that they were doing about 30,000, Desire Chips, which is a 24 hour chip. The white chip. And then they were doing for for 30 year chips, they did 6 or something. So it went from 30,000 people that were joining, in 1 month to 6 people that had stayed there for 30 years.

And then there was, like, 8, 20 years. And then there was there was, like, I think there was 11110 years. And and, you know, do that with your group just to see what's going on. Have the secretary keep track of how many chips and and how many, years, value are being given out. And that that's kind of that kind of is a report card to how how you're hanging on to people.

And I will tell you this, if the people are going through the steps, they are gonna be staying around a lot longer. What we did, the first time I started one of Chris's groups, we I had people sign in. And for I I kept count of it for a year, and seventy 5% stayed sober for the 1st year. And and it says in the book 70%. So it's a true statement.

It really does work. None of these statistics are absolutely accurate. Scientifically, they're they're not accurate, but they give you a general description of what's going on. And I will tell you that they're important statistics though to pay attention to because if there are people that aren't being helped that we can help by just doing our job a little bit better in Alcoholics Anonymous. We should do our job a little bit better in Alcoholics Anonymous.

You know the pain and the suffering that alcoholism can cause, nobody knows it better than you. Nobody knows what that terror and that loneliness feels like except for you. If we can help people from from suffering from that, that's a very important thing to be involved in. Oh, Carsten, alcoholic. I want to ask you.

I've been, going to meetings for almost 5 years now, and I've been working the steps a few years ago. And I it it was a long process and, I thought it very very beneficial. I liked it very much. But now, you know, I haven't been working continuously with the 10th, 11th, and 12th step. I want to do that now.

Will you recommend me to go back and take the steps once more or to continue where, let's say, from step 10 on a daily basis? That's a great question. So the the question was, should this gentleman go back through the whole steps again? And this is what I would recommend. He's been been he's been with Alcoholist Anonymous for 5 4 years.

He's went through the steps. If you look if you look at the list that I made up here, if you have done a a a great inventory on yourself, what's gonna happen is as you start doing steps 10, 11, and 12 on a daily basis and you start filling out that inventory list that I give you, it's gonna automatically, if you have problems, drive you right to the 4th step. If not, then you don't have a problem. So you will find out as soon as you start writing, And it's amazing how we could say, well, you know, God, I've been here for 4 years and this stuff doesn't come up. When you put pen to paper, I I don't know what the spiritual axiom is, but it just opens up floodgates.

It opens up floodgates. So I would advise you to go home tonight because, I know Pali has been sending out the inventory list. Print out 7 days, write the date for 7 days, and start writing. And if you see that things are popping up, you may then wanna go back to this test. But go through this first, 10, 11, and 12, and then see where it takes you.

You know, there's also some, some advice. The word continue is important and we can continue certainly with the disciplines of 10 and 11. There's no doubt about that. But in the step book, there's a, there's a sentence that says, many of us go in for annual or semi annual house cleanings. What I take that to be is many of us go in for annual or biannual steps 1 through 11.

I, I've got experience doing it both ways. I've got experience where every single year I went through the steps for a number of times, all the way through. And then I've got some years where I just continue to maintain through the disciplines of 10 and 11. I find both both of those are are good ways to do it. But if you've been away from the steps for a while, it might eve it might benefit you to go through it in a thorough manner from the from the beginning.

You know, we were asking when we're gonna come back. We also have a couple, wonderful, wonderful things here that say I love you guys. I think it was one of the blondes in a bike, especially Doug up there. Hey, especially Doug. Sorry.

But anyway, we, we we got some we got some wonderful thank you cards up here. It was wonderful. And if you wanna have this again, whether it's us or with somebody else, which would probably be less than us. But anyway, if you want to if you wanna have some other great speakers from anywhere around the world, the the the 7th tradition is absolutely very, very important, especially in the United States. And I think that's why, the United States AA is very big and very strong and we're allowed to we're allowed to have all these conferences and And we're also big mouths.

Yeah. Well, that helps. Big mouths. Right. So I got some monopoly money here.

I don't know what this color is. I think it's worth 20¢, but I'm gonna donate this and and I would ask you all, this is gonna be the last time, so reach deep in your heart to really help alcohols Get big. On the floors here in, in Denmark and, and give big. We are all out of time and I just wanna tell you I love you all. This is a beautiful country, beautiful people.

I feel like the red headed stepchild, the, you know, the beauty and the beast up here. All you guys are so good looking. And, it it was a pleasure coming out here. Please email me, say hello, be my international friends, and I wanna thank you. I wanna thank everybody that was a part of this process, everybody that was of service, the the tapers, the people that were driving us around, the people who were internet internetting and sending us the money for the tickets.

Thank you all and thank you all for an absolute wonderful weekend.