Steps 8 and 9 at the CPH12 v9 convention in Copenhagen, Denmark

Hi, everybody. My name is Doug, and I am an alcoholic. This is great. Chris and I were just talking about what a great time we're having here, and we hope that you all are enjoying. I'm glad the weather is holding up.

Being from Florida, this is absolutely extreme cold for me. But the but the beauty and the excitement of your cleanest country in the world, I'm gonna have to w that. That's a great country. Well, it's great. We're having a we're having a real good time.

We just finished up with 6 and 7. We just said the 7 step prayer. Now, on the, on the character defects that I have here, if you wanna have fun, please give this to your loved one and have them fill it out. They look at you totally different than you look at yourself. Alright.

I did that. I was very offended. It was very humbling and, so, what it states here is that it says after the amen in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous on page 76, we just read the prayer. Now Now I get everybody to their knees because that's the way they used to do it. They used to get to their knees.

It was a very Catholic Christian organization. Although they didn't want it to be that way, that's where they learned and that's what they knew. And you got to your knees and you said the 7 step prayer. Because he used to say, humbly upon our knees. And they made a change in the big book.

Now, the next word. See, I was talking about time frames here, how everyone says there's no time frames. Take your time. One step a year or one step a month. Easy does it.

Easy does it. Easy does nothing by the way. Yeah. Easy does nothing. I'm telling you.

Killing killing more people than the black plague did when it almost wiped out Europe and it's wiping out America now. It's terrible. So it says here the next word is now. The next word's now. I gotta highlight it.

I got quotations. I got a box around it. I'm like, arrows next to it. Now we need more action, which now I guess means now. Now we need more action.

Without which that we find faith without works is dead. Okay? Lois used to No. It was, Anne used to say that after she would read to, she was big into the book of James. Actually, Alcoholist Anonymous, one of the earlier names was called the James gang because they used to read from the book of James.

I don't know if you all knew that. And then it was the, first 100 men and, nice lady from New York ran in and said, wait a second, I'm here. Right before it went to printing. And some some drunk came in and was like, oh, why don't you just call it Alcoholics Anonymous? That's how we got our name, from a drunk.

I mean, it couldn't have been Right out of Greystone, Mental Hospital. Yeah. Greystone Mental Hospital is a very popular mental hospital. I mean, you don't get much more lower than Greystone. So that's how we got our name, from the bottom of the barrel.

I've done commitments in there, carrying the message in there. It's it's spooky. There'll be people that walk in like, they'll look and they'll and they'll take off. And then a minute later, they'll walk in. They'll look around.

They'll take off. And this will go on the whole meeting. It's, like, disconcerting. I mean, they'll they'll walk in like nothing and then, oh, it didn't take off. Like, 40 or 50 times while you're trying to share.

So it says now we need more action. Without which we find faith, without works is dead. Let's look at steps 89. We have a list of persons we have harmed and to whom we are making, who are willing to make amends. We did that, remember, with the harms others list that I showed you from the workshop here, from the paperwork.

It's the har harms other inventory, which is right over here. K? So right here, it says we have a list of persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. I love getting these new sponsors.

Oh, will you sponsor me? I said, I'll tell you what, I don't really sponsor people. I bring people through the mechanics of the steps and then I would like you to find a sharing partner. A life sharing partner. So that I could do my work, and my work, I believe, is to bring the original message of the big book to the masses.

That's what my belief is and I think I do it very well and that's what I do. And, I said, but I'll I'll hear your 4 steps. Will I burn it? What do you mean you burnt it? Well, my sponsor said we went on the beach because I live on an island.

We went to the beach and we burnt it and then we let it go up to the sky and I'm like, oh, God. Well, then you're gonna have to rewrite it again. Why? We gave it to god. Good.

Rewrite it. Let's look what god had to say in the last 3 months and and see what your inventory looks like. So it says here, we have a list of persons we had harmed and to whom we were make willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory. We subject ourselves to this drastic self appraisal.

Time frame. Next word. Now, which is now. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. And this is what I do.

This is where I had my spiritual awakening, and I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna tell you that phenomenal story tonight. At 37,000 feet on a airplane, I won't even mention the airline. Oh, I could. I didn't fly from United Airlines. Watch the stock plummet over in Denmark.

United Airlines and and it was due to this step. This step changed my life. Now, the main reason why I got these cards, folks, because I was I am a recovering scumbag and I was bad. I was a bad person. So I would knock on these doors because being an airline pilot, I had the ability of making direct amends to everybody.

Now, I I didn't find that to be very fair and and I made that known. I was like, why can why can Chris not write a just write a letter? Because you can get on an airplane for free since you're a pilot. Go make amends in Minnesota. So I'd be in Minnesota and knock on this girl's door and she'd be like, what do you want?

You know, like and I I I got so nervous that I started making out these cards. And I'd be like, I am here. I have done you harm and I owe you the And they'd be like, you know, looking out the door. Get in here. You're embarrassing me.

I'll be standing there in the doorway. Is there anything that I could do to make this wrong? Yeah. Why don't you speak from your heart? Okay.

I did the so so what I've done is, I found, I found that making out these cards, which is right out of the big book actually, it has the questions that you need to ask, it has exactly what you need to do, and, by by doing this, I didn't freak out as much. And, and it really, really helped me out. The 8th 9th step as, Chris will share with you a little bit then I'll come back and bring you through the mechanics, is absolutely my whole life changed. My whole life changed. My story and this is where I break down.

It's still 13 years later because of the overwhelming life that I have today, of the overwhelming power inside that I have for my god. This gave me my god. But when you hear my story, you're gonna be like, oh my god. Talk to going to any length, literally, any length. And when I was off that airplane, I'd I was living in Washington at the time, and I'd fly back, I'd be like, I am not going anywhere again and f this and I'm no way.

I'm not going. And they'd be like, alright. Alright. And after the meeting they'd be like, alright. So where you going next week?

I'm going to California to make amends. You know what I mean? I just kept going. I kept doing it. I kept doing it.

And when I did the last one is when I popped. It just it all came. I needed and wanted god and it was it was an overwhelming god consciousness and it is the funniest story you will ever hear at 37,000 feet. Come tonight, 8 o'clock. There you go.

You know why we're doing this? Because there's a national hockey team on. Not Yeah. And and, oh, we're not gonna tape that story, by the way, either. So you're not gonna be able to get the tape.

You have to come here and I'll give a little bit of it away. One of his one of his favorite sayings as a pilot was 8 hours, bottle the throttle. So like, if you do if you have a little trepidation flying, you may wanna go behind the black curtain there while we're sure They used to have a they used to have a law, in America. It was called, the the Federal Aviation Regulations, and it was 8 hours from drink to flying. 8 hours from drink to flying.

Well, you gotta understand, we get 4 days off in a row. So I'm drunk for 4 days. Right? You wake up. So I'm drunk for 4 days.

So I'd have to stop only 8 hours. I mean, you know, you're driving to the airport like this. He'd still blizzard eyed while he was out there. I'd be like, just please get me on the airplane. I'll be safe.

Just just get me on the air yeah. Thank god for autopilot. Right? Oh, thank god for yeah. Captains, flight engineers, all of them.

They were great. They saved my life. They saved your life. I had nothing to do with it. What does that red flashing light mean?

It woke me up. I'd be like, oh, my god. What? What? What?

What? Anyway. Okay. Steps 8 and, steps 9. Alright.

We've we've trashed the world. I mean, we, you know, like, we're like tornadoes. It talks about us like being tornadoes that blow through the lives of the people around us. You know? And, and we get sober and we think everything's fine.

You know, all I need to do is not drink today, and that's all I need to do for my immense is not drink today. Well, the big book takes exception to that and tells us that we need to set right the wrongs that we've caused. I'll read a little bit from the book here, page 76. We have a list of persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends. We made it when we took inventory.

Probably, there are still some misgivings as we look over the list of business acquaintances and friends we have hurt. We may feel definite about going to some of them on a spiritual basis. Let us be reassured, to some people we, we need not and probably should not emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach. This is being written back when, when they were, really in the Oxford group, just just separating from the Oxford group, and they would talk about finding God, you know. I'm doing this because I found God and I found Jesus.

And, Bill is saying, you know, sometimes you may not wanna approach somebody that way. They will brand you as a fanatic or a bore, which I usually did when people knocked on my doors saying that. So, again, there's a whole bunch. I'm not gonna go over every single instruction here. But it does say that we need to, we need to be willing to face these people.

We need to be willing to face these institutions. There's, there's there's a powerful reason for being able to make amends. Let's say, let's say I come into Alcoholics Anonymous and I'm still, a real jerk and I'm still running my game and everything, but I I but I am kinda trying to get sober. And, Doug over here, you know, I'm I'm kinda hurting for money because we don't always come in here at the top of our game. It's you we usually don't say, you know, every I hit the lottery and, you know, everything's great.

I I think I'll go to Alcoholics House. It's usually the exact opposite, really. It's, usually when we're when we're at our lowest. And I come into AA and and Doug over here is looking good and he's acting real friendly to me saying, hey. Doug, Doug, how about $100?

I'm I'm short of my rent. And Doug is a good guy, so he gives me a $100, you know, I put it in my pocket. I'm gonna pay you back on Thursday. I just got a job. I'm gonna pay you back on Thursday.

Well, Thursday comes and, it's you know, it would be inconvenient for me to pay them back. I've got some pressing issues that I could use that money for. So I don't pay him back and I spend it on something else. Now Doug's a nice guy. He's he's leaving me alone.

But I'm, you know, I'm one week goes by, another week goes by, another week goes by. Now I start to resent the fact that Doug is in the meetings. You know, I gotta look at him all the time like owing him money. So, so after a while, I kinda I leave that meeting so I don't have to have to see them and, you know, and then I get a resentment against them and I've got this now alcoholics don't just have one of these things in their pocket when they come into a. They have about a 150.

So you've got like a 150 problems that have gone undealt with in your life, and you're dodging and weaving. You can't go down the road without, oh, here comes so and so and ducking up an alley or something. You know, there there's just there's just too much unfinished business that we leave out there in the wake of our our our disaster. You know, the family is still waiting for the shoe to drop. You know, they're waiting for us to drink one more time.

So it's very very important to become willing to set right these wrongs. I had this guy that I was working with, who, was a kleptomaniac. Basically, whenever he was in a 711 or or a store, he would pocket something. He his he really thought that if it was in front of him and nobody was looking, that you're supposed to steal it. You know?

So it got down to the 9th step and he was will really willing to recover from alcoholism. I said, okay. You're gonna go back to every single 711 that you can remember stealing from and you're gonna pay them back. He goes, what? I go, yeah.

I go, yeah. Because he's still stealing into sobriety. He's still going and he's still stealing stealing gum or cigarettes, and he's sober 2 or 3 years when he finally starts starts to work with me. So he goes back out and because he has willingness and he goes back out and he and he and he pays back the money, he goes to these places and says, you know, I've been stealing here for 3 or 4 years. I think I owe you about $150.

And he started paying all these places back. Now let me ask you a question. Do you think he still still shoplifts after going and paying everybody back? No. So it goes to show that when we're we become willing to make amends for the harms that we've caused through our character defects, we can help over we can we can overcome these character defects.

He's not a shoplifter anymore. You know, when we go back out and we make amends to to the women that we've harmed in our past, we we start to learn how not to harm women. And, you know, so it's very, very important to get to the point where you're willing to start going out and make amends. Now, you know, Doug's got some unbelievably good amends stories. Any of us that have that have, worked a really strong program have have immense stories.

I mean, I've been I've been thrown out of offices. I went and I was probably the first person in my area that went back to x employers. I mean, there was a lot of people who would apologize to the family, and then they would share in a 9th step meeting that they had done the 9th step. Because I was exposed to these tapes and some people that were real heavyweights, I actually went back to X Bosses, and I actually took road trips to go make amends. And I, you know, I actually made amends to those I had harmed.

I went and paid money back from years ago, people who didn't even know I owed them money. And I just started. I had a list like Doug and how I did them was on index cards. I did them on 5 by 7 cards. And I, you know, I would write on the front, who it was, the exact nature of the harm that I caused, where they were, what their phone number was.

And, you know, on the back, I I put, I I basically put what I what I thought would be an appropriate approach and an appropriate amends and and, and then the the the three questions. I go by 3 questions and here are the 3 questions. Let's say you're making amends to somebody who who you've screwed up a relationship with. Alright? I go to them and I say, here are the harms I'm clear on.

Here's how I believe I've hurt you. Blah blah blah blah blah. And I admit it. And then I asked this question, did I leave anything out? I mean, is there anything I'm unclear on as far as how I've hurt you?

And then shut up because they're gonna tell you. Most of the most of the time, unless it's a superficial amends, certainly, if it's an amends with a woman, that I've harmed, I'm, I'm gonna be told, you know, what I left out because I'm not perfect and I'm gonna leave things out. The sec second question is, you wanna talk you wanna talk about this a little bit and tell me how it made you feel, you know, me harming you like that, how how it made you feel, how it affected you. And shut up, and then I'm gonna get another earful. When I did this with my ex wife, it was about an hour each, You know, she had she, she filled me in quite thoroughly.

Thank you. And then the third question here's the third question. The third question is so important. What do I need to do to make this right? And shut up and listen or write down or whatever.

Now sometimes sometimes it's anatomically impossible to do what they say, to set things right. And you know what? If it's appropriate and if it's possible for me to do that, I will I will do that. And then I will consider the amends complete. Now I I do a lot of, lecturing at at, rehabilitation facilities and stuff, and I was actually giving a talk at the Rutgers School of Alcohol Studies, where they were, where there were a bunch of counselors that were about to become alcoholism counselors.

They were about to go out into the world and counsel you about your alcoholism. And I was sharing a little bit of my experience with the steps, and this guy grabbed me afterward, and he and he came up to me. And now understand that this is somebody who's gonna be an alcohol counselor in about 2 minutes. And he grabs me and he and he goes he goes, you were talking about making amends. Well, don't you have to deal with your shame?

And listen, I don't I don't mean to make light of shame. Shame is is an is an actual thing that, you know, you can get treated for, but most alcoholics have shame because they have unresolved amends. Now I go, no. I don't have to deal with my shame. And he goes, what do you mean?

I go, I don't I go, I don't have any shame. And he goes, how's that possible, being an alcoholic? I go, well, let me ask you a question. I go, have you ever made a list of all those that you had harmed? And he goes, no.

And I go, well then you must not have have made direct amends to all those you had harmed to the best of your ability except when to do so would injure them or others. And he goes, no. I go, then how the hell can you tell me you can't get rid of shame? You're you're giving me an opinion on an experience you've never had. This is the experience that got rid of my shame, my guilt, and my my remorse.

So I no longer suffer from those things. And he walked away still totally confused and not believing me, ready to counsel all of us. Okay? Which is kind of kind of a scary thing if you think about it. Anyway, we certainly don't judge from the podium, do we?

Do we, Doug? It's not it's not something you know, we'll report the facts, but we we will not we will not judge. Anyway, these amends are extraordinarily important. I get to travel a lot. I'm down in in Doug's wonderful state of Florida this one time, and, I'm on vacation with my wife.

And I go to this meeting in Key Largo, Florida. Now the last time I had been in Key Largo, Florida was 1978, New Year's Eve. And what happened was I got really drunk and the last thing I remember was jumping up on stage, trying to grope the hula dancer. Okay? Yeah.

Lulu, the hula dancer. I remember trying to grope her and that's the last thing I remember. I think they knocked me unconscious because I woke up the next day in the dumpster. It was like 8 in the morning and the seagulls are croaking and I've got crabs stuck in my air. I literally climb out of a a restaurant dumpster.

They can get funky, can't they? He owns a restaurant. You know? Now now I I forgotten this. And I'm sitting in this AA meeting, and I go, wow.

I I've got a funny story I can tell. So this is this is like 1999 or, no. Wait. Yeah. It was like 2,000 or something.

So I raised my hand, and I and I go, hi. I'm Chris. I'm an alcoholic. I I wanna tell you all the story. The last time I was in, in Key Largo, Florida, it was New Year's 19 and I jumped up on stage and tried to molest the hula dancer.

Now the next guy everybody left. The next guy that shares goes, I know who that is. That's Lulu, the hula dancer. She's still dancing at that same bar. I go, no.

What are the chances of that? What is the half life of a hula dancer? How I have to pick the one that's made a lifelong career of it in the same bar. Off we go to make amends to Lulu. You know?

Just my luck. I mean, you have to stay open. You have to stay open to the spiritual process, though. You have to be willing to do these things. It may be inconvenient for you to go make an amend somewhere.

You know what? Tough. You gotta do it anyway. You gotta do it anyway because we we the spiritual life is not a theory. We must live it every day in our lives to be granted the safety and protection of, being able to stay separated from alcohol.

And I believe God grants that safety and protection based on our willingness and our participation in the recovery process. It says here, remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. Now I get all my pilot licenses back. Okay? I'm working on my night step.

All my pilot licenses come back. And probably, I think it was about a year, the FAA let me start flying. But the airline I was flying for called me up, and they offered me a captain spot in Washington DC. And so that's a that's a huge honor and, considering I hadn't flown in a year, I was in alcohol rehab, but they offered me a captain slot. So great great union stuff we have back in America.

And so I move, I move up to Washington, and I get another sponsor, a big book thumper. Again, I keep finding these people all over the place, and we start going through the night step. Well, as I'm on the a step, we're writing out our a step cards. Now I know you all aren't gonna believe this, but I used to be a thief and a liar. Now I know it's coming to shock to everybody here, but what happened was I would steal from my neighbors.

I'd break into their houses, I'd break into your houses, I'd steal from anybody. And so we're writing all this stuff down and the guy says to me, this my sponsor, says to me, well, he goes, alright. Good. When you gonna go to New Jersey and do these amends? I'm like, what are you talking about?

I'm not I'm not doing those amends, you cray I'm writing them a letter. I'll give them a a Catholic card with cash. He goes, no. No. No.

No. No. No. He goes, I'll tell you what we'll do. Let's go to the big book.

I know where he was going too with this one. So he went to page 80 and he said this, top of the page, 80, before taking drastic action and he goes, I think knocking on your neighbor's doors, giving them cash, telling them you used to be a little thief to buy drugs and alcohol is kinda drastic. I can understand your fear. But let's see what it says here. It says, before taking drastic action which might implicate other people and then I thought to myself, My family still lives in that neighborhood.

So I look at him and I'm like, there you go, pal. I was ready to go do this. I was going up there. I was ready to go. But my family still lives in the neighborhood and I can't tarnish their name.

He goes, no. Okay. I understand that, but let's continue on. I thought I had him. So he says, Draxic asked you, we might implicate other people.

We secure their consent. He says, so before you say, cowboy, why don't you fly up there and ask them? I said, okay. And so then the next thing it says is, if we have, number 1, obtain their permission, Number 2, consulted with another, and he says, that'd be me, and I say go, and ask God for help, so I want you to pray and meditate about this. And the drastic step is indicated we must not shrink.

So this is what I did. And I'll tell you the story later this evening, but I would put on a suit and tie to make amends. Now I still haven't figured that out 13 years later, but I thought it would ease the blow. So I put on this suit and tie and I go up to see my family, and my 2 sisters and my mother are there. And I said, listen.

I said, I I used to be a thief in the neighborhood and steal from the neighbors. My mother's, oh, Dave. Here I come. I'm coming up. And and, you know, and I'm like, oh, I can't believe I'm doing this step.

I can't believe I'm still doing this. And I said, mom, I'm a calm down. Let me finish the story. You know, she went on ranting and raped and she said, well, what did how much did you steal? What did you steal?

And and she wanted to get the particulars. I I don't advise that you say that because it was a lot of money. And so I said to her, well, listen. I'm up here because of my sponsor and he says, you know, if I do this, I I may stay sober forever. Supposedly.

Supposedly. Supposedly, I'll stay sober forever. So my sisters look at each other, my mother, and they're they're like the 3 stooges. Oh, yeah. Then go ahead.

Yeah. We're we're cool. And I look at them like, oh my God. What am I gonna do? I didn't have the cash, I had nothing.

So, I went to the store and I bought Catholic cards and one Jewish card because I stole from the Braunsteins. And so, I I pack it full of cash and I start, hi, missus Sullivan. And they're like, oh, little Doug. They call me little Dougie, I guess you could imagine. Oh, little Dougie.

You know, airline pilot makes good. Oh, it's so good to see you. Oh my god. I walk in there and, you know, her husband had just died and and oh my god. It was just terrible.

I'd say, missus Sullivan, I don't know if you know this. I've been sober for quite some time now, and, it really wasn't quite some time. I I said, I used to break into your house and steal money. What? Oh, Ed.

Everyone put their hand over their heart like they're gonna have a heart attack. Alright. Boom. And, I'm thinking to myself, what am I doing? Maybe these a a people don't have it right.

Maybe they're wrong on this one. And, she'd go through all this ranting and raving and I'm like, here's your card and and then she'd open up and see all this cash you You stole this much from me. Do you understand how we used to struggle for money? Then I'd reach in my pocket. Are there any more harms I have caused you?

Cause me almost caused me a heart attack. Do you need to tell me how this hurts you? Are you kidding? Is there anything I could do right now? Get out.

So as I'm leaving as I'm leaving the door, she says, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.

She says, wait. Listen. I I can't believe you're doing this. I'm very impressed that you're doing this. Maybe I didn't act correctly, but, I'm very disappointed in you.

I I appreciate what you're trying to do. She says, do you want me to tell my children because they used to hang out with their sons? I said, miss Sullivan, you need to do what you need to do. I got another 5 houses that I gotta I gotta go she's like, 5? I'm like, yeah.

Those are the ones I remember. That's not including the grocery stores and the bap bap bap bap bap bap bap bap. When I was done with that day, it was the most amazing nasty day of my life. And I got back to Washington. I'm never doing this again, all At the end of the meeting, where you going?

Minnesota. You know what I mean? So, what it said what it says here is remember that we are going to any lengths to get a spiritual awakening. It all says, at the moment, we are trying to put our lives in order, but this is not an end and all. Our real purpose this is the real purpose of the nightstand.

Our real purpose is to fit ourselves in maximum service to God and to help others. And so it says this, it tells you how to work with hate if you hate somebody, what to do if you dislike somebody. It tells you what to do if you owe people money. It says, if we are calm, frank, and open, we will be gratified with the results. And 9 times out of 10, those are great odds.

And and that was pretty much my 9 times out of 10. There was one person who just said, you're get out. And 9 times out of 10, the unexpected happens. Okay? It also tells you what to do if you have a criminal offense.

I will tell you how I surrendered myself to a whole state. Like, I I blew up a state. It was just New Jersey. I I owed them all in amends and I surrendered myself. Wait till you hear that story tonight.

Okay? That was the one. That was the last one. If you look at my 9 step cards here, you will see in the top, your left hand corner here, there's a number and a plus or minus. Okay?

Minus means there's no way I am doing that amends. The number is when you're gonna do it. Number 1's normally the mother. You know? Oh, just stay sober.

You know? Number 2's normally the sisters. And then it goes down to, like, the state of New Jersey, which is, like, number 32 minus minus. I mean, there's no way I'm doing that one, palsy. And I did.

I did do it. So this keeps you this keeps you really organized. What to do if you have a criminal offense? I'd I'd I will tell you that tonight. And it says we may lose our position or reputation, face jail, but we are willing.

We have to be. We must not shrink to anything, and I did not. It also tells you what to do if you had an affair, mixed up with a woman in a fashion. It tells you it tells you how to handle that. The females being mixed up, the males being fixed up, whatever it may be, but it does tell you how to handle that.

Whatever the situation is, we usually have to do something about it. If you ask me questions on the 9th step, I will tell you how to handle that situation. I've been in almost every one of them and it hasn't been pretty, but I'm telling you now, it changed my life. I've never drinking again, and I don't believe that I will ever drink again. I I I truly believe that.

I believe I have permanent sobriety. Now there's a condition, as so long as I keep spiritually fit and work the circle and the triangle as I showed you this morning. As long as I work that circle and the triangle like this, as long as I keep doing that circle and triangle, my chances of drinking are nil to none. I'm talking permanent sobriety forever. Say that in the meeting.

Hi. My name is Doug. I'm a recovered alcoholic. I'm permanently sober. I will not drink ever again.

Then get up and leave because the whole meeting is gonna be about you. Some people will take exception to that. Oh my god. So it says, our design for living, which is the 12 steps, is not a one way street. It is as good for the wife as it is for the husband.

When I first met my wife, she couldn't even look at me. She's Roman Italian. She went through a very abusive relationship. She married an idiot American. For you women, stay away from them.

Idiot American man, and it was terrible. And all she wanted was to be able to design software, sit in a black room, and and deal with nobody. And I gave her that wish, with the last company that we had, and it and we did very well with that. And then after that, she saw Alcoholics Anonymous and fell in love with all of you. And then she got into Al Anon, and now she's the vice president of customer service.

We have 61100 employees. We have 17,000 clients, and all she does is talk on the phone. She has 5 windows in her office and her room is yellow. So that's what these steps do. These steps just don't help us.

It helps everybody. That is a true story on how I watched it change her life by just being associated with me. It says here, we feel a man is unthinking when he says sobriety is enough. Sometimes, we hear an alcoholic say, the only thing he needs to do is keep sober. You are so missing the boat.

You are missing the boat if all you do is stay sober. I'm telling you that right now. If you put all 3 of these things into effect, recovery, meaning the 12 steps, daily inventory, unity, meaning meetings like this, service work, meaning setting up big beautiful conferences. Your life will be unbelievable. Even last night, I filled out one of those forms.

This form right here that I will go over tomorrow. This is on page 85 and 86. This keeps me clean. This this really helps me in my life. So when I do 4 steps, they're like nothing because I do it every day.

99% of the time, I'd like to tell you every day. The last day, it was Friday, I was so jet lagged I went to bed without doing it. So, but it says here, some people cannot be reached. It tells you what to do when someone cannot be reached. Okay?

The situation that I'm gonna tell you about in in Tennessee, she wouldn't want me to reach her and I was totally clear on that, but I'll tell you how I handled that situation and I cleared it up. And that was the biggest besides jail time in New Jersey, that was the biggest thing that I did. Okay? But I also reap the benefits. I'm reaping the benefits of doing the steps exactly as outlined in this book.

Okay? And then it comes into the promises. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we're halfway through. I was amazed that I kept on getting on an airplane every week and flying out and making amend. Hi.

It's Dougie. What do you, back in 1970? Yeah. Slammed the door. Yeah.

I flew all the way in from Florida. Please just listen to me. You know what I mean? So, I was amazed before I was halfway through that I was still doing it. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

We are not gonna regret the past nor are we gonna shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace no matter how far down the scale we have gone. There's a measurement, folks. There's a measurement. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, I went down pretty far near the end and I'll explain what happened.

Alcohol testing came in in the airline. That was a a huge curveball for me. Alcohol testing came in in 1995, and I just remembered it was, like, February. I woke up and it was February. I I missed all of January, and I'll tell you that story tonight too.

But so my scale went down really, really low. So it says here, no matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will we will know how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self seeking will slip away.

Our whole attitude and outlook will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We'll intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that god is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. And then that will bring us to step 10 of which we will, we'll do.

We have a question and answer going on here, but I wanna talk to you just a little bit and I wanna challenge you just a skosh. I love the I love the the the the the color of this money that I got. We're we're we're calling it monopoly money. I don't even know how much it's worth. So I'm about ready to make a donation, and I'm not sure how much I'm making.

Sure. I mean, I don't wanna be much. They're cronin Borgs. They're cronin Borgs. Whatever you have.

Cronin rubles. But, the the energy that we have is called money. It's called cash. I believe that the root of all good, money is the root of all good. If if you work with others and help others, not just with money but with time.

For an example, I donate a lot of my funds. When I finished with my 9th step is when my whole financial life just went change. I would not buy anything new from me until all my financial restitutions was completed because then I would be cheating you. So I was driving around in an 89 Buick tail falling off and I was making good money, but all that money was going to the universe. I was paying it back.

Right? So this thing is great. And I I I'd like just to fly out next year and just to be with you all. But I would like your first question. I would like to offer one of these, whatever that is.

100. It's like 20¢. It's a 100. I'd like to put I don't know how much it is, but I like to put that in the basket. And now the basket is going around.

And please donate all you can. But why'd you put is that more than 20¢? Someone told me it was 20¢. Just keep going. Just keep going?

I got I got a 501. Does anybody that's 50¢. Right? Alright. Everyone's like, I'm gonna play cards with that guy after.