The 34th Gopher State Roundup in Bloomington, MN

My name is Bob Olsen. I'm an alcoholic. Well, now I lost everything. Thank you very much. I'd like to thank Nancy and the committee for inviting me that was very kind to you to ask me to come out here.

I had I asked Nancy, I said, you know, I didn't not too long ago, I spoke up at Saint Cloud, not too long before that I was up at Park Rapids and I'm kind of surprised you want me to come back that quick, and she told me they were fascinated because they'd finally found an old single Norwegian guy that would say more than 6 words at a time. See, they'd only get that in Minnesota. I got a call from a guy up in Virginia, Minnesota and he asked me if I'd come up there in March. That's what I said. And I said, Jesus, should I bring my tip ups And, see, only people from Minnesota would know that.

I used to live in Brooklyn Center, so, that was when I was drinking. And we would, and I had a neighbor who lived right on the Mississippi River, had a big pontoon boat and we would each take a fifth of booze and go out at night and fish for catfish and just get stupid. And then, you know, sometimes we caught fish and sometimes we didn't. 1 night, I caught a about a 20 pound channel cat. And I thank you.

And I took it home and I was just drunker than the Lord. You know what a 20 pound channel cat looks like? I put it in the sink because I was too drunk to clean it. And then I went over on the couch and passed out and, my wife got up in the morning and thought that some of a bitch crawled out of the drain. They'll put the fear of God in you.

Oh, man. I'm a member of the happy way group in Englewood, Colorado. My God, who named them that? We've been talking about changing the name, to something like beaten into a state of reasonableness or I thought outright mental defectives, would be good. By the grace of God and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, I haven't found a need or an excuse to take a drink today, nor have I found a need or an excuse to take a drink since May 28, 1973.

That means, Memorial Day, Monday night, I'm gonna be 34 years sober. I was struck by how many new people are in this room. I'm also I'm also thrilled that you're here. And I guess, one of the things that I'd like to say to you is that I'm not a person who came in the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous and was just struck sober. I'm one of those guys that came in and made a nuisance out of myself for 5 years and, I am absolutely amazed they let me come back.

The problem is and some of you know my history, you know I was a bill collector in Chicago, weighed £240, and was a psychopath. I used to kick in people's doors and slam them up against the wall and tell them if they didn't come up with some money pretty damn quick, I was gonna break their knees. And that's a totally different life, I gotta tell you. Oh, Jesus. So I have always had a little bit of an edge, And when I went to AA meetings, I went there to kind of turn myself in because I knew I was drinking too much and I come from long line alcoholics.

The last one was my dad. He died from the disease and, and I always knew I was going to die from alcohol. I I just, just figured I'd try and make it as painless as possible. And, I used to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. I started going to AA when I was 29 years old.

And I guess, I want to say this to those of you who haven't been very successful at this, and that is don't give up. See, in my attitude, when in the early days, when I went to Alcoholics Anonymous was, yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Well, you I'm sure you folks need this and, you can take your steps and put them where the sun don't shine and that's the way I came to Alcoholics Anonymous and I would wanna reject everything in Alcoholics Anonymous and I thought I was way smarter than this disease and it damn near killed me.

Now, I'm not the dullest knife in the drawer, and I always thought I was a pretty smart guy, and I thought I was smarter than alcoholism, and I didn't think I had to do any of these things. And so I would just go to AA meetings and hope for the best and it did not work for me. I went to Alcoholics Anonymous for 5 years and I not only couldn't stop drinking, I couldn't I couldn't even slow down. I couldn't slow the progress of alcohol, which meant that I kept drinking more and more. Last 12 to 15 years that I drank, I drank a 5th a day, and it was just like clockwork.

There were no vacations. I drank every day. I got stupid every day, and I held a job and did I was a marketing director for a fortune 5 100 company, when I quit drinking. I finally got so sick and I'd been to AA meetings. I was I had, I ran a container plant over here, off of 35 and I moved back to Wisconsin, which is where I'm from originally and, what the hell is that about?

Sorry. That little edge just sneaks out of me every once in a while. Finally, got so sick. I did, I went back to AA and and, there was a little old Irishman there named Leo. He's my first sponsor and he'd he'd just keep come looking for me, you know.

And, I came back to Al College anonymous and, he had me go in and speak to a priest, that was running a halfway house in Fond du Lac. And, the I sat down in front of the priest and he asked me some questions. He said, are you an alcoholic? And I said, yes. I am and I knew that.

Hell, I'd known him for years. I don't get this business about people who go, oh my God, I'm an alcoholic. I have to quit. No, you're not. If you can quit as an act of the will, you're not.

I gave up years before I quit. I knew I had it. I knew it was going to kill me. So it didn't like, I didn't know. And he said, are you an alcoholic?

And I said, yeah. And he said, are you done? Well, that's a good question. I hope so or I'm dead. The doctors had already told me that my liver was sticking out of my side.

The the priest's name was father Will Upson. Where is he? Is he here? You know, he lives in Saint Paul and he is a dear, dear man. Let me just say something about father Will Epson.

He has been working with dead end, no future drunks, like me for over 40 years and What's that town that Gustavus Adolphus is in? Where is it? I think that's where he's from. He's from Minnesota. He, I think, he went to seminary here.

He's an oblate father and I think that that order is here And so, he's a Minnesota native. He is truly one of your state treasures. So, he said, he asked me if I was done. I'd say, and he said, do you believe in God? And I thought, oh yeah, here it comes.

You know, I'm a German Lutheran. Right? And I need a Catholic priest telling me, dear man, and I said, he said, you believe in God? I think I said, no, just to piss him off. And he said, then I suggest you go find 1 And I was then I was really mad, because he wasn't sharing his with me.

And, I said, I don't know where to look. And he said, why don't why don't you just think about what you'd like God to be? And I said, alright. And and then, they sent me home. Now, they didn't have treatment centers down there.

I think Hazelton was open newly opened or something back then, but that's a long way from where I lived. So, Leo took me home and left me there. A great experience. So, I'd been through D. T.

Before, and I knew what was coming and they left me my wife had left me incidentally, with her 2 kids and gone to France. Well, she was about as far away as she could get. And I knew what was coming and it did. So I sat down and waited for the inevitable, and I went into D. T.

S and saw all kinds of hallucinations. Part of it, I recall, there were ants as big as this podium that came out from underneath my refrigerator and, it was a very large refrigerator and I, I grabbed it like this and I was so afraid. I picked the whole damn refrigerator up and carried it halfway across the room by hugging it. My fingerprints were permanently imprinted in both sides of that refrigerator, and I was looking for the hole under the refrigerator that these giant ants could come out of. I don't know whether I saw it or not, frankly.

I ran into the basement steps and there were 3 cans of raid in there. And so, I emptied him in the kitchen and goddamn near asphyxiated myself. I remember laying on the floor and flopping around like a fish out of water and, knowing I was going to die every minute for hours hours hours. Then, they came back to see if I was still there about 48 hours later and, and you know, I would recommend to any of you who aren't clear about your alcoholism, to do that. You know, if they want to give you a Librium and a Revelium or something and kind of bring you down, say, hell no.

I'll do it the hard way. Good luck. And, so anyway, I went to an AME. I came back and I saw father Upson and I, he said, what do you think about God And, I said, I'd like him to be a father. My father, he left when I was an infant, and on the rare occasions when I saw him, he was really drunk and I never had a relationship with him and most of the time my dad was a really nasty, violent Trump.

So when he he liked to fight a lot, and you had to be real careful around him when he was drunk, because he wasn't real picky about who he hit. So I said, I'd like him to be a father, but I'd like him to care about whether I live or die. I'd like him to love me and want the best for me. And, he said, well, I think that's exactly what God is. Then, he and I used to go fishing.

We'd go out on Lake Winnebago, which is a 741 square mile lake in Wisconsin. A huge lake and we'd go out there and fish and he'd talk to me about God. I'm just shaking my head, you know. I was always just, kind of, hoping God was looking the other way, because if he knew my history, we probably weren't friends and, he'd asked me if I'd trust God and he would he'd say silly things to me. He'd say, why don't you have God take over your life this morning?

And if he does a good job, let him have it this afternoon. And I go, okay. Are we all that stupid? Oh man, but see somebody had talked to me that way and, so, let's just, after I was a year sober, well, I went to AA meetings, they didn't want to let me chair meetings. You had to be, you had to be sober 90 days in Fond du Lac to chair a meeting and I was just sober 90 days and in a big Tuesday night meeting comes up and and, they said, well, we need to take nominations for who the new chairman is going to be and you were chairman for 90 days in a row.

And, my sponsor, Leo, said, let's have Bob do it. And, this other guy jumped up and said, wait a minute. We need to talk about this. Obviously, they didn't know my history. If I had a gun, I would have killed a couple of them.

And they made me go outside and smoke a cigarette. Well, they decided whether I was good enough to chair a meeting. If I was them, I wouldn't have let me back in. I just and, they asked me to come back in and Leo said, you're the new chairman for the next 90 days. You know, I didn't drink for the next 90 days and the reason why I didn't drink was because I wouldn't let those sons of bitches see me drunk.

Now, that's the wrong reason, isn't it? How do you know? You know, God works in mysterious ways. I know I've if you sit there and try and figure out God, God's beyond our comprehension. I stopped that a long time ago.

Someone explained to me that the theological argument Those are all things with no beginnings in the Those are all things with no beginnings and no ends. I truly, it's beyond my comprehension. I'm I'm a chemical engineering major from the University of Wisconsin. I should know that. I know physics.

I know all this stuff. I don't know that. So what I know about God is this: God is and that's all I need to know. I moved to Colorado when I was years sober. Thank you very much.

Moved to Colorado and, things were a little dicey. I, I didn't have a program. I had agreed that there was a God and that it was probably working in my life, but that was the extent to which I really knew Alcoholics Anonymous and all of a sudden, I knew I was going to drink again. I was years sober and I knew that I was running out of gas. And that's what I want to talk to you new folks about, and maybe some of you old folks.

I went to a Sunday night meeting and I heard a guy named Donnan P speak. He wound up being my sponsor for 32 years. And, he was talking about the big book and he said it was a textbook in that there was a precise set of instructions in that book and that if I would follow that he was talking to a whole bunch of us. He wasn't talking to me, specifically. I mean, I was just listening to him and he said, you know, if you get in this thing and you follow all these directions, you not only don't have to drink again, you don't ever have to want to drink again.

And it's like, it was like somebody threw me a life preserver and I went up to him afterwards and I said, Don, my name is Bob Olson and I think I'm going to drink again. I haven't had a drink for a year, but I'm running out of grace here. And, I don't know what to do. And he said, well, tell me what you have done. And I said, well, I go to meetings and, try and be a good person.

And if I, you know, if somebody needs help like moving or something, I'll do that And he said, wow, looks like you did everything but follow the direction. And see, I would rather get shot than admit this, but I I looked at him and I said, I don't know what the directions are. And he said, if you'll sit across from me on my kitchen table once a week, we'll go do that. And, I said, alright. And, he said, but, first, let me tell you what that looks like.

And then he explained all 12 steps to me, and he said, that's everything I'm gonna ask you. Will you agree to that? And, not just to the first one, but will you agree to go through this whole process with me and I said, yep. I will. And so I started going over to his house once a week and we'd sit there for a couple hours.

He had 5 kids, 7 kids in that house. Oh, Jesus. Anyway, it was like a Chinese parade. In about that time, we all got on a committee for the 1975 International and, we were all, and I'll show you how long ago this was, we were all members of the Denver young people's Group. So we got on So we got on the hospitality committee and we're working at the convention.

We saw Lois Wilson and, and there was a speaker there from Winnipeg, whose name was Mac Cheater, And, he was talking about a group in Winnipeg called the Golden Slippers and how they had never really been able to get sober. And, in that one day, they decided that they were going to take a whole new approach towards Alcoholics Anonymous and, that, they were going to do some different things and those different things where they weren't going to talk about steps and they weren't going to rationalize about the steps and they weren't going to intellectualize about the steps. They were going to do the steps. They started at the forward to the first edition as a group, and they did everything that the book suggested. And when it said right, they wrote.

When it said made a decision, they made a decision. When it said anything, they did it. And we were all standing around, about 15 of us, and we were all struck by what he was saying and we said, let's do that. And so, right after the international, we met this guy, this guy named Jay Levy, who has now passed away. We met in his basement.

15 of us and we opened the book up to the forward to the first edition and every time it said to do something we did it. Most of it we did together. Out of the 15 of us, 14 of us stayed sober. That's the that's 1975. And the guy the guy that died is or the guy didn't stay sober was a guy named Eddie Durkin, and Eddie Durkin decided that this was all bullshit and he, he went down on Larimer Street in Denver and got drunk.

Walked up and took a nap in the doorway and froze to death. Yeah. I think we make conscious decisions about things like that. So, we did that and, the book says that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we're alcoholics is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we're like other people or presently, maybe, which means there ever will be has to be smashed.

You know what? I'm a drunk, and then, I've been a drunk since I was 20 years old. I drank way too much, created too much havoc. Everything about me is alcoholic. I just I go back I go through the steps once a year.

We're kind of book nazis, I suppose. Alright? I don't apologize for that. If you don't like it, screw you. That's not very nice.

You just have to excuse me. I but I gotta tell you something. This saved my life. This isn't like something you know, the book says, half measures availed us nothing. Right?

Why don't half measures avail us half? I don't get anything. You know, I pussyfoot around with this program. I get zipped. That means I got to pay attention.

That means this becomes a lifestyle. I'll tell you what, sober, sober, preneur 34 years, I love it. I love it. I'm actively taking a half a dozen people through the steps right now. You know.

When the book talks about the fellowship growing up around you, and that's not an experience that you want to miss, it's not kidding. You want to see something that will turn you upside down spiritually? Watch the lights come on. That's an experience. We all, we took we went around the room and and, we did our first steps and the book says, if we're even willing to believe upon the simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.

If I'm even willing to believe, if you're even willing to believe. You know, you don't have to know God to believe in God. All you got to do is be willing to say maybe there is one. And see what that priest told me, what Father told me is, can you stop drinking? And I said, no.

And he said, well, I got some bad news for you. And I said, what's that? And he said, we can't stop you either. And I went, what the hell am I here for? And he, I said, what's the point?

And he said, the point is that there better be a God or the game's over for you, Bob. K? That's what I've got to tell you. Look, if if you're not successful with Alcoholics Anonymous, and you tried everything else, find someone who is familiar with this program, and follow the directions your life depends on it. Well, we got to the 3rd step and, my sponsor is saying, I said, well, what are we going to do with this?

And he said, look at the prayer. And I said, okay. And, as many of you know, it says, God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power, thy love and thy way of life.

May I do thy will always. And he said, what's that mean? And I said, well, I'm not sure. And he said, well, I'll tell you what it means. When it says I offer myself to thee to build with me and to do with me as thou wilt, it means you're giving God a pass to do anything with you.

And I went, woah. And he said, well, that's the deal and what I want you to do is I want you to consider that and the rest of the prayer and I want you to come back in a week and tell me if you want to do it or not. Relieve me of the bondage itself that I may better do that. Well, you know, we truly live in the bondage itself. We don't think about anything but us.

That's truly what we do. We're so fascinated with ourselves that we can't see anybody else. You want to know something true? Everyone I've ever met, who's come into Alcoholics Anonymous, has a headful of nonsense about who and what they are. And if you don't learn how to write inventory and challenge all of those self defeating beliefs that you have floating around in your head, you'll be just as crazy as the day you walk through the door.

You know, what's really nice to see is when you're 34 years old, you can just get up and say what you want. I mean, you do this or you don't do this. I did, when I got to the 3rd step and I my sponsor laid that stuff out in front of me, take away my difficulties. I like that part. That victory over them may bear witness to those I would help.

Bearing witness means being an example. And what it is, and one of the reasons why I talk like this, alright, is so you know that you can. You can take positions. Right? If you pussyfoot around Alcoholics Anonymous and you're afraid of hurting someone's feelings by telling them the truth, get over it.

Would you rather tell somebody the truth or would you rather watch them die? So he said go home and, think about that and come back next week and tell me if you want to say that prayer and I came back and he said, well, do you want to do it? And I said, no, And he said, why not? And I said, no, I didn't say I wasn't going to do it. I said, I didn't want to do it.

And he said, why not? I said, I don't want to give God that kind of power in my life. Well, see, you get it, but I didn't. And, he said, well are you going to do it or not? And, I said, yeah.

And, he said, then get on my knees, on your knees and hold my hands. Get on your knees and hold my hands and say the prayer and mean it. So, I did and then I got up and he started laughing. I thought that was wholly inappropriate. And I said, what's so damn funny?

And he said, you don't get it Bob. You don't want to give God that kind of power in your life and God's got all the power anyway. This is just an exercise in who's God and who's the drunk. So he said, this will have little permanent effect and that's what the book says, unless it's at once followed by a rigorous attempt to clean the house. So did you bring your legal pad?

And I said, uh-huh. And he said, alright. I want you to write a grudge list, I want you to put down people, institutions, and principles. So I wrote all the people that I was angry at, which is pretty much everybody I'd ever met and, and I was mad at the police and the courts. I was a fine youth.

It was an example of good conduct and, got, sentenced to 4 years in the Wisconsin State Penitentiary when I was 17 years old for assault with a deadly weapon, but back then they told you to go in the military, which wasn't the smartest thing I ever did either. But, anyway, so I I I wrote, I could write people in institutions I was mad at, but I never got principles and, and when I got done writing what I wrote, he said, I said, came back and I said, okay. I'm done. And he said, no. Now, you have to come back and look at each one of those resentments and see well, first, he told me that I had to write down why I had them and what it affected my self esteem, security, ambitions, personal or sex relations.

So I wrote all that out. It took me weeks weeks to get it done, and I went back and I said I'm done and he said, no, you're not, and, so what's left and he said you gotta go through each one of those resentments and see where you were selfish, dishonest, self seeking, or frightened. So I did that and I came back and I said, so can we fist up this now and he said, no. And I said, what's left? And he said, fear inventory.

And I said, I'm not afraid of anything. He said, oh, well the book says that fear is an evil and corroding thread and that the fabric of our existence is shot through it and apparently, yours isn't. And, I said, that's right. You know, I was a bill collector in Chicago and I'm fearless. And he said, oh, well, humor me.

And I said, all right. And he said, how about snakes? And I said, what kind of snakes? And he said, how about rattlesnakes? And I said, nope.

Wouldn't want to be in a closet, with 1. And he said, alright. Then just write down rattlesnakes. And I said, okay. And he said, how about spiders?

And I said, like black widows. And he said, yeah. And I said, well, you'd have to be a fool to want to get bit by 1. And he said, you're right. Write down spiders.

And then he said, how about failure? Cheap shot. And so, he said, write down failure. How about inadequacy? And I said, you know, I never thought I was as good as other people and he said, yeah, I know.

Write down inadequacy and I said, alright. He said, how about women? And I said, you said, just write down women. How about children? And I said, just the really tiny ones because, you know, they hand them to you and you don't want to drop them.

How about the police? Yeah. I don't like them. How about the courts? Yeah.

I don't like them either. And then he said, is there anything you're not afraid of? And I said, I guess not. The book talks about outgrowing fear. It says that once we begin to outgrow fear, it doesn't say that we outgrow it.

It says, we begin to and fear for most people and I think, almost for all people is going to, at some level or another, is going to be a constant companion. It just isn't like it used to be, but there, you know, when Bill Wilson talked about ego deflation at depth, the ego is an odd thing. You know, if you go study in a psychology class, it talks about, about the ego being an inflated sense of oneself. But, the ego, at least from my observation, with an alcoholic, doesn't tell you that you're better. It tells you that you're worse.

See, my ego tells me that I'm not good enough. My ego tells me that I'll never succeed at something. In that, I can't get something done and that I'm going to look like a fool and that I'll surely fail at what I'm doing. That's the way my ego talks to me. You know what?

That's evil. That is evil. You know what the antagonist to the ego is? Intuitive thought. Because that's how God speaks to us.

And the intuitive thought is a quiet voice and the ego is a loud and brash voice. In some mornings, I get up and my ego will be barking at me. You're going to get in a lot of trouble. You'll never get done all the things you have to do today and I say, shut up. You got nothing to say to me that makes sense.

Let matter of fact. It is never satisfied. Like, you know what we do? You know why they sell so many Cadillacs? Because the ego wants it and then you go buy this damn thing and the next day the ego goes, I want something else.

You go, I just bought you a Cadillac and it goes, I don't care. And I'll tell you something else about the ego. In the ego, it's weapon, primary weapon is fear. And if fear doesn't work, terror is next. I found out 20 years ago that I wanted to live a life that's pleasing to God.

So I spend a lot of time looking at this stuff and And I know well, the book talks about about learning to trust intuitive thought, and that it eventually becomes a working part of the mind. That's not some kind of spiritual make believe. If you can learn to trust your intuitive thought, it'll be right on almost all the time. Oh, good. I'm having a great time.

I hope you are. So let me I'd like to talk with you. I wish I had 2 hours. I mean, you'd probably have a little problem with your backside, but, if you're anything like me, when I was 28 years sober, I've gone through the steps and, at the end of it, I I got all the way through MENS and, I was doing my 11th step and it occurred to me in my 11th step that I still believed a lot of really self defeating things about myself. This is what I believe.

I believe that I was a mongrel, that I came from an alcoholic father and a and a mother who had serious mental illness problems. In that, I was told early on when I was about 10 years old that I had no chance at succeeding in life at all. That I would probably wind up crazy and drunk and institutionalized, and you know that's not the best thing to tell a 10 year old. I believe that if you really knew me, you wouldn't like me. And that was based on some really angry things that adults said to me, that I bought hook, line, and sinker.

I believe that my only value to women was my ability to really make money, which doesn't cause great relationships, if you think that that's what the deal is. I had a whole bunch of these self defeating beliefs and I was talking to God in my 11th step and I said, why am I 28 years sober and still believe all of this bad information about myself. There are some that are specific to women, by the way. I've sponsored several women, a whole bunch of women really, and showed them how to write inventory on what they believe That can make a remarkable difference, because it's all lies. It's all lies and it's all about the ego.

And, so, I was asking God why I still believed all that. How come I don't think I'm good now? How come I think I'm like substandard goods? I mean, I've been doing this for 28 years. What the hell do I have to do to be a good person?

And the answer that I got was principles. And I said, how can you principles are things like, honesty, open mindedness, and willingness, and love, and tolerance, and all that stuff. Those are principles, and the answer that I got was, no. They're not. Your principles are those beliefs that you hold so closely that they are they have become a part of your personality and they have become sacrosanct.

You will not challenge them anymore. And you've been dragging those anchors all the way through your life and it's about damn time that you got rid of them. So, I'm thinking I'm hearing voices. I'm some, I've slipped into spiritual make believe and and I I said, I'll okay. I'll play the game.

Where do you put it? And I wrote down, if you really knew me, you wouldn't like me in the first column, and then I looked at my book and in the second column, it says the cause, And I thought, what's the cause of me believing that? And it was always stuff that was told to me when I was a kid. And, I thought, does that affect my self esteem? Oh my God.

It destroys my self esteem. If I think that you once you get to know me, you aren't going to like me, why would I get to know anybody? I mean, there's no way to win that. Does it affect my security? Yeah.

Because, if I believe that, I can't get in a relationship because, at some point they'll see me. I can't get a job because at some point they'll see me. I can't do anything. Does it affect my ambitions? Yeah.

If I think that you're going to catch on to me at some point and go, Get out of here. Why would I try anything? And my ambition is what I want to be or what I want to do. And I won't go do any of that. I'll get locked in place.

And if you don't believe this stuff, look at some of the people in Alcoholics Anonymous who have never engaged in the recovery process, and they are locked in place forever. You know what the most dangerous thing is in alcoholics anonymous is a closed mind. If you come in to alcoholics anonymous, you go, I know all about this. I don't have to do this. God bless you and good luck.

Does it affect my personal relations? Yeah. I won't have any. You know what? This is true and it's a hangover.

It's a mental illness hangover, almost. I mean, and I'm not mentally ill, but I gotta tell you, I'm a loner. I'm not a person who cozies up to other people easily. And the reason why is that silly old belief. Why should I get to know you?

You aren't going to like me anyway. Okay? That's where I got the attitude. Who gives it? Does it affect my sex relations?

You know what that is? That's a personal relationship on steroids. Yeah. How do I do that? Here's here's really what I came to say, If you're in Alcoholics Anonymous, seek God.

Seek the truth. Don't get to the point in this program where you think you know everything. Don't get to the point in this program where you're not willing to challenge your beliefs. Always try and get closer to God by finding the truth. If you do that, you'll have those same kinds of epiphanies or revelations that I've had in Alcoholics Anonymous just because you're looking for them and God will show them to you.

If you don't ever wanna drink again, I understand. But I gotta tell you, there is so much more. This isn't about not drinking. This is about finding all that crazy stuff that's been running around between our ears and extracting it and having God pull all of that information and finding out the truth. The truth is that you are a child of God and as such, you are an equal to anyone on the face of this planet.

Excuse me? Alright. Alright. There is a special place in, in my heart for Minnesota. Thank you.