Unity & Service at the Stateline Retreat in Primm, NV

Hi, folks. Tom Ivester, an alcoholic, a member of the primary purpose group of a in Southern Pines, North Carolina. There is a pine bluff as it says on the program, but I've never lived there. So I had to go check it out. To my sobriety date is Groundhog Day of 57.

And tell you, that's a lot longer than I ever meant to stay sober. I'll tell you that. That's, I'm just continue to be amazed at that. The, I swear to God, this has been just a wonderful kind of a kind of a thing. I was so proud of my buddies that I just could just bust and, solid stuff.

Good across the board. And I I said, I swear I feel like a buzzard at a Eagles convention after after listening to those guys. That's been something else. And they still got Sandy and Sharon. So shoot, man.

We're just rolling. I'm the change of pace guy. You wanna get somebody from the deep south to do the change of pace at a minimum, I'll slow it down. And, and with with any luck, I'll dumb it down a little bit. And, and the other thing I like to do is, is sort of pick up on some stuff that my buddies were talking about in in terms of of real action in the program.

And and so those two things of, of unity and principles of I don't know if I've ever talked about the principles of service, but what the heck? Why not? Principles and everything that we do. I I could just talk about traditions and concepts and we'd be talking about the principles of service and principles of unity. But but I'm not too much for just sort of haranguing about those things.

I'm an experienced guy. I really like to base everything and experience as much as I possibly can. I haven't experienced everything, but I'm working on it and and not too much left. So I I'd like to talk about the the the the this whole issue of of of unity in the program. And and I'll visit the tradition just to make the point.

There's some of them that that very specifically address unity. They all do. The traditions are about unity, about how to how to use principles in our relationships no matter what they are. And and I'll tell you, I found as much utility in the traditions as I have in the steps. And I've used them as much in my life as any other part of the program in every aspect of it.

I used it in my professional life more than I ever used anything I learned in college. They've been wonderful principles to make organizations work for you, trying to get people to work together. I'm a great believer in tradition. I do like the idea of experience though. And and I'll visit these things and just share some experience that I think builds unity.

That's kind of an important thing for me in terms of both unity and service because borrowing from what what the guys are talking about in the steps that, I'll just visit it this much and just say that I was a guy just like every other human being that was a product of my environment. Sometimes, environments have positive results. Sometimes, they have negative. But everybody's influenced by their their their environment, of course, and I was. That's interested me that I grew up in the same home with my sister.

Everything about it was the same except the result. She she responded very well to the experiences of our lives and did well. Poor soul has never been in jail in her life. Okay. Something wrong with a red blooded American who's never been to jail.

Held a job for long period. My God. So, I mean, she's just a pure loser in terms of life and fun. Still still lives in the same place that I grew up and hated from day 1. Only time I get home sick is when I go home, And I get out of there real quick because she grew up ex just great.

Amazing thing. But but I instead of responding and and developing with in keeping with my experiences, I reacted to them. And internalized a lot of things that that went on in in in our lives. And just one example, and I won't biz this too long, but my father deserted the family when I was 4 years old. And that was a no brainer.

I know the day he left, I remember hazy to be sure, but I remember that, wherever he was going, I knew he wasn't coming back. And if you had asked me about that anytime during my formative years or early adult years or early years of a a, I would have just blown it off and said no big deal if you'd asked me about my dad and just said there ain't none. But I would submit to you that when a father leaves a 4 year old child, that is not without damage. And there's some real things that that occur with that. You know, a lot of things like guilt, fear, insecurity, anger, dishonesty, an awful lot of things ensue from that to sort of make up for the absence.

And and, yeah, I could go on with a whole litany of things that's formed but that's just one significant thing. And so those things were extremely important to me because in response to them, what I developed was some coping devices that we call character defects. I developed some very handy kinds of techniques of dealing with life that became ingrained in me as a way of life. I became an inveterate liar. I didn't have to make up lies.

I just spontaneously would spit out 1 on any occasion. I'd be and I put it in the past tense, but I I tell you that's still my basic reflex when I get into a tight situation. If somebody asked me a sudden question, I have never blurted out the truth in my life. It's not in me. I have to sort of work up to it and rehearse it.

Lying is just second nature. It's like breathing. And And so that's why it was defects of character. Well and just a whole bunch of other. But why are those important?

They have a great deal to do with with with getting to a point of feeling unity with a group of people. You know, I grew up as a very isolated, very private, very very, very stand back type of guy. I wouldn't mix it up with people. I would, if I had to write, write a mix of stuff in me. But but I by nature, I was not that way.

So when I came into a, I was not a natural joiner. And so there were a lot of things about the program that were extremely important, not only in the steps, but in the traditions to help me get in so that I could be one of the players and be on the team. And so those are traditions that I value a great deal. The steps are fairly obvious in terms of starting to cut through and to get get some of those things addressed as my buddy talked about so well today and, with Clint with the, AIDS and I step. The, they're very, very powerful healing forces in that.

And and but then traditions are very important. And I'd I'd just like to point out a couple of them. The the the first one, you know, I think the first tradition, just like the first step, is the fundamental grounding of all of the program. Everything else builds out of that. All of the things of recovery build out of the ashes of defeat and surrender that's embodied in the first step.

And the first tradition is the same function that that the recognition that our commonwealth fair is paramount. That no no offense to the group in LA, but it it's important, fundamentally important. Michael told me to say that, and and no, he didn't. But it's fundamental, you know, that that welfare is very, very important. Now I when I'm doing traditions, I like to personalize it.

I find out that the traditions are far easier for me to understand if I look at them from a personal perspective. The more the bigger the issue to which I've tried to apply traditions, the more difficult it is to comprehend. But I can break it down, and I break it down in just sort of a sort of a real simple down to earth kind of way. My welfare comes first. It really does.

I had an old buddy that used to travel to sawdust trail and doing a lot of talking in a a. And I know that what he said was a rhetorical thing and he didn't really mean it like he said, I don't think. Not sure. But he would say to the group, if one of us, you the group, or me the speaker, has to drink again, I hope it's me instead of you. And every time that guy said that, I thought, what is he smoking?

I mean, come on, man. That's nice, And I know that it's in keeping with brother's keeper, but you ain't gonna find me saying that. Now I know that none of us ever have to drink again. But if any of us do, I wanna be the last dude standing. Now that's just the cold blooded facts of it.

You know, my welfare comes first. And so what does that mean in terms of unity? I recognize that my group, my home group is where I stake my life. I count on that group to be my ship in a stormy sea. And therefore, I take care of that group like a mother does a child.

I take care of that group. I pay attention to that group because my welfare depends on that group. And what it breeds is a great deal of unity in terms of of getting along. I I I give you a couple examples of things that I I thought that since I'm a high bottom drunk, I'd bring Perrier to to to drink tonight. See how many I can fool with that.

Couple examples of that that, kind of get it common welfare. What some of you know, thanks to, comments to some of my LA delegation, that, I had some experience in the Grey Rock Hotel. And, when I was finally drummed out of there, I went back to North Carolina, not at my behest, but at theirs. And I left the state of Michigan, went back to North Carolina and went to what was to be my home group. And I swear to God, it was the worst meeting I'd ever been to in my life ever.

If we'd had a meeting that bad in jail, somebody would've got hurt. It just didn't happen. And I that plane thing just pure sucked. And and I I thought, my god. What is this?

You know? And I live 20 miles from the big city of Charlotte. And I thought, man, I'm getting out of here. But I I didn't wanna come back to Mayberry anyway. And, and so then I thought a disturbing thought occurred to me.

I'm the 2nd oldest member in that town. This was a long time ago and AA was not exactly rocking and rolling there. And, the old the other only guy older than me was an old man. No offense to any of my dear friends, but that dude was over the hill, pretty bad. But he was a wonderful old guy.

He was I just loved him dearly and he loved me dearly. And, he was a fine man. He was the treasurer of the group and had been for 7 years. And I'll guarantee you, he was a good treasurer. The the biggest thing he would have done to violate trust would have been to slip money in, not take it out.

And, so he was a loyal guy. And so we got looking around and we started trying to make some motions to get a group started there instead of just a gaggle of drunks. And, so started working on it. And it's it doesn't take too much, you know. Just as soon as you show a little spark of leadership, if you make it sense, people will follow you.

And and so folks started to pay attention a little bit, started forming a group. And after a couple of months now now now keep in mind the old man I'm talking about. This is the guy that took me to my first meeting the first day I had stepped into North Carolina. This is a man that took me to every meeting I attended because I had no driver's license. This was a man that loved me as much as his son.

But what I'm gonna talk to you about is common welfare. So we started to form the group and, we had probably the first election in the history of that gaggle. And, it was a very it was a little more somber than the average election, but it had pretty much the same kind of ingredients that, nominate somebody. Yeah. Okay.

Close it. Close the nomination then. So it sailed smoothly through chairman, secretary, and then it came to treasurer. Now the the the the the air was was full of awareness of the of the tender tension for what we had to deal with. And, it was obvious we needed to make a change in the treasury.

Nobody in that group could have hurt the old man more more than me with a nomination other than him. But that was the quietest AA meeting I have ever seen in my entire life when we call for nominations as treasurer. I don't even think people were breathing. Well, I'm sitting there and there come times, and if they haven't with you, they will. There come times when you have to see what you're made out of.

When you say that you're committed to the common welfare and you mean that, you'll get a chance to prove it. And that's exactly what happened that night. I'm sitting there praying that somebody will nominate somebody. Well, somebody did, but it was me. And I nominated and it passed and we went on.

I wish I could tell you that the old man got over, he never did. It hurt him. It took away part of his identity. And, it but what he'd done over the years was he'd gotten possessive of the job. It's what happens when you don't rotate, when you have one person in the job forever.

And so he got protective, and he got to a point where somebody would buy a package of cookies and say, well, mister Mac, those cookies cost $2. And he would say something like, boy, those cookies are sure getting expensive. Well, folks are sensitive, you know, and I think he was told you so it was a a loaded thing. And so when that thing happened, it just crushed that old boy. He didn't quit, he didn't get drunk, but he was never the same.

But what happened, it wasn't just him, but it was a thing of starting to operate with some printed principles to get unity where people are pulling together to get something done. When I left that town 2 years later, there were 60 members in that group. And so unity and getting things out in the open so that alcoholics are pulling together. Sometimes it calls for tough stuff, but in the long run, the common welfare has to come first. Our recovery depends on a unity.

There was, one other one that I just wanted to mention. I jotted them down and it's dark in here. By the way, there's a green light in here somewhere. Every time speakers got up today, you remember the Incredible Hunk? You know, I'd see this this ripple of green go across people's faces, and I could just see that big tough stuff.

I bet my jacket even looks green. I wanna just one second here while I while I get this in focus, I can tell you what the other one was. Well, shoot. Let me just skip over a minute, and I'll come back. How many welfare?

What am I talking about welfare? Well, anyway, let me move on to a couple other, and then it'll remind me. I I wanna mention this oh, I do. Yeah. I do.

One that says it's kind of intimately personal. I know that spiritual giants don't get aggravated with stuff, but I'm not one so I do. And so a while back now I'm a strong home group guy. I'm not a maybe. I'm a strong home group guy.

And, and I dearly love the home group that I have today. I was out of town one time and, I missed a business meeting. And I know that none of those pilgrims in my group would do this, but they made a motion to do something. They made a motion to do something that they knew I would disagree with vehemently. And so when I came back and was greeted with the information, the the spiritual giant was hot.

I mean, I was flat hot. And what's that got to do with common welfare? Had I wanted to do it, I could have gone in there and and and had some kind of a duck fit with with the folk and probably I don't know if I could have gotten it turned around or not. But had I done that, I would have done a great deal of harm because I was too mad to be sensible. I was too mad to be rational because the decision that was made took away a fundamental part of what makes that group have a well rounded program.

And so that decision was made. So I'm I'm I'm too hot to say anything. So I never said a word to a soul. I'm thinking. That's dangerous.

But I'm thinking. And I'm what I'm doing is trying to evaluate what is it that I'm mad about. Am I really concerned because of some principle that threatens the integrity of that group or am I just angry because somebody dared to do something I wouldn't like while I was out of town? Well, I have a kind of point of view about business meetings. If I'm not there, whatever they vote for, I voted for it because I voted with my absence.

And so I just set quiet and I thought it through and absolutely satisfied myself that I was concerned about the principle and the integrity of the group and not just my feelings and my anger. The first business meeting came up about about a month later. I was too mad to say anything. I'm still mad. And that's not the way to solve problems if you're interested in common welfare.

I bit my tongue. Cut. That was hard. Waited another month. And, then the time came to sit in the business meeting and they came a little place for new business.

And I I just simply said, guys, we made a decision a couple of months ago to fix something that I don't think was broken. And I've I'm not gonna make a motion, I just like to re request that we reinstate that portion of the program effective tonight. Amazing thing about the the the sense of a group and and the response of a group, one guy asked one little question and then overwhelmingly voted. Well, see, common welfare means more than me just imposing my will and coming at people full force. It means to pay attention to what folks are doing and make them part of the decision making, and not just subservient to to my will.

And so common welfare comes out in an awful lot of kind of ways. And, in in the whole business of of leadership, you know, that that whole thing is tied in to the kind of stuff I'm talking about here. One other one that I mentioned that has to do with unity is the third the third one that has a great deal to to do with unity. I don't know about you, and but but I'll tell you what was going through my mind right before I got up here tonight. If if wouldn't it be something if we could get to a point this weekend where every person in this room committed to go back to wherever you operate in AA and do something to make a difference in something you're concerned about.

Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing? Wouldn't that be a powerful kind of a of a resort? And I'm gonna invite you to one that that you're part of whether you want to be or not. And it has to do with 3rd tradition. The 3rd tradition simply says that, well, the short form is a little oversimplified.

It says the only crime is the desire to stop drinking. Long form says problem with with with alcoholism. And so it's it's not wide open crapshoot on just anybody who's ever had a drink. It's for folks with a drinking problem. It signals the purpose.

And, if there's anything that and I know most of my buddies here travel around the country a great deal and probably run the same things I do. I rarely get out of the airport if that subject doesn't come up. Man, we got a lot of trouble here with that. We've got whole sections of this country that have just given up any pretense of singleness of purpose. Make no pretense of it.

Well, that troubles me. That troubles me a great deal. I had great friends who are drug addicts, but they're not members of Alcoholics Anonymous. I was sitting at the it I sponsor a prison and that's probably one of my strongest commitments. And and so, I was just sitting there one night and now a sponsor is not a visitor.

A sponsor is a guide. And so it's more than just sort of sitting back and watching what happens. I'm sitting there and watch and there was time it was time for election of a chair. And so they opened it up and they nominated a guy named Mike, who's a nice man, but he's a drug addict. He's not an alcoholic.

He's not a member. And I was watching Mike when that nomination was made, and he just kinda dropped his head because he is a nice man. And and he just didn't didn't have the thing to say, no, I'm I'm not gonna do it. And it wasn't well defined and and and so I spoke up and I said, woah. Woah.

Hold on, guys. You can't nominate Mike. Mike's not an alcoholic. He's a drug addict and he's not a member of the group for God's sake. You can't you can't do that.

And so they just said, okay. Fine. And they got somebody else. They got to the end of the meeting and the chair, before he closed me said said, Tom, a lot of guys are troubled about the kind of thing you addressed when we were doing the nominations and really don't understand. Would you elaborate a little bit on what you're saying?

And you know how it is sometimes when you when you get put on the spot and you got to respond quickly, you have to resort to the truth. And and because I don't have time to make up any nice thing. And without fail, when I when I reach in to what I what I come out with is what I truly believe. And, and so I just responded almost automatically. And I said, I've never said this before.

I never said, I said, are you guys familiar with how they started? And most everybody was not. And I said, alright. You remember what happened when the physician who was who was still drunk was visited by an idle look stockbroker and the stockbroker shared with him about his alcoholism and his recovery. And when he got through, the physician said, finally, somebody understands.

Well, I think something momentous happened that day. You may or may not, but I think something but the momentous happened that day in that the basic tenant of Alcoholics Anonymous was formed. And that basic tenet is that when one alcoholic talks to another alcoholic and shares about his life, it gains the trust and confidence like nothing the world has ever seen. And that basic principle was the fulcrum upon which Alcoholics Anonymous was formed. Now, I think what you and I have to look at and I hope you will, that somewhere along the line, we have got to deal with this rampant kind of ignoring of of of of singleness of purpose.

That tenet is right or it's wrong. I think it's important for everybody in this room to think it through and form your own opinion about what you believe. If you believe that tenant is right, that that is basic principle of Alcoholics Anonymous, then you and I who have found recovery here have an absolute responsibility to be sure that the next person who comes in that door finds what we found. I think it's a basic responsibility. Now, that's just one guy's opinion but but thank you very much, love.

Thank you. I was about to say thank you for that ovate. But I I appreciate that, Ed. But I do think the whole I think the whole fellowship is gonna have to do a sort of a global group conscience about this thing and come to a reckoning that that's either an important principle or it isn't. If that principle is not not true, it doesn't matter.

It couldn't matter less. I'm the one who believes it's true. And so, important for unity. Very important for unity. I think it's very important when I say that that I'm taking somebody to a closed meeting, that they can count on it being a closed meeting.

That it's a group of alcoholics in whom they can invest some trust. If we don't provide that environment, we are abandoning on a mission of trust that's been given to us. I think it's an awfully important thing in terms of unity, you know, so that we've got who we say we are. They in the real world, they call that integrity, where who we say we are. I've just mentioned a couple more and then I've well, probably more than that, but I'll I'll mention a couple more just anyway, but not not too many.

4th one is one that's kinda important to me about unity. And, you know, unity is it's, every each growth my god. What's wrong with my memory? Each group is autonomous, should be autonomous, except in matters affected in other groups or a as a whole. Well, that's good.

Let me let me break it down a little bit. Each member is autonomous. Practice AA any way you wish, provided it doesn't interfere with other members or the fellowship as a whole. I have the right to practice Alcoholics Anonymous any way I wish and so do you. As long as I don't interfere with somebody else's operative opportunity to do it.

I think there's a real responsibility that goes with that in in terms of how I conduct myself in in in Alcoxonomics. Now I'm a pretty straight up guy. You know, I'm I'm a I'm a pretty clean guy. I'm not pretty clean. I'm very clean.

I'm a very clean guy because I have no clue who's sitting here tonight. Somebody might have brought their mother to a meeting. This is open, I believe. Somebody might brought their mother here. Somebody might have a child that's within earshot.

I would never use this podium as a place to humiliate or embarrass somebody who had ventured into our environment. I'll give you example of that and why one of many that that I can give. I was out in, in your state, Scott. Wasn't close to where you live, but in Tennessee. I was and I was speaking at a little conference and, the fellow who spoke Saturday night thought he was supposed to be a stand up comedian.

And he wasn't funny. I mean, the guy was not funny. And the poor soul was, you know how it is when you're going down the tube, you you paddle harder, you know, you got to, oh, jeez. Gotta come out. And so the more he went down the tube, the harder he tried.

And then the more gross and the more vulgar and the more obscene that he got, you know, trying to pull it out. And finally, about an hour and a half, he gave up. And and I was sitting right behind the lady who was the program chair. She's the one who invited all speakers, and I'm kinda watching her squirm. And she had a guy sitting beside her that I assumed was her husband.

And he was an interesting man. His neck looked like a thermometer, but you could just see the red going up. And I tell you that old boy's ears were glowing. And I said, I don't think he likes that much. And so after, the guy finally gave up.

Thank God. And, so he finally gave up and so I was milling around and I saw the gal that was the program chair. And I I said, I don't believe your buddy enjoyed the meeting too much tonight. And she said, my god, Tom, you'll never know how humiliated I am. I've never been more embarrassed in my life.

That was not her husband. That was her minister. At his first meeting of AA to find out if this'd be a good place to send lost souls. I'll guarantee souls. I'll guarantee you, it was his last meeting of AA, and he wouldn't have sent anybody.

He'd have sent somebody to hell before you'd send them to AA. See what I'm talking about? Your autonomy doesn't give me that kind of license. Autonomy gives me responsibility that I don't have the right to impose my values or lack thereof on other people. I've got a responsibility.

Daryl may get run out of Vegas if I come in here and and make a fool out of myself tonight. Don't come North Carolina. You're too quick for us. But that's that's, to me, is an important thing for unity and dealing with those things that, I I I gave one of these quick example on that thing, but sometimes it's very sensitive kind of stuff that we had a guy come in our group. I didn't really know what Tourette's was.

I Tourette's syndrome. I'd I'd heard of it, but I've never seen it really up close and personal. We had a guy come in our group and he had a a pretty bad case, I guess, because he would during the meeting, he would sit by where Sandy is right in front of the podium. And and and what he did was uncontrollable. I watched him when he would do it, and that guy was in anguish trying to keep from doing what he had to do.

And so he would he would let out these anguished yells, you know, and and and sometimes we'd forget to tell the speaker. And it's a little disconcerting when somebody goes into one of those things, right in them. Well, what do you do? I mean, you go throw the guy out of the aid because he he's got it's a sensitive situation. And so we did a little group conscience on that.

You know, some things call for more than just a huddle. They call for a group conscience, and that's prayerful consideration of an of an issue that that jeopardizes our primary purpose. And so we did that and and decided it was a real problem and that, what we decided to do was to get him to sit unobtrusively in another part of the room and I think we're going to pull it off. They asked me and another fellow to beat it naturally, since we were the ones who brought it up, that me and another fellow to be the ones to talk with him. And I and I don't know if if God's just generous or what, sure is with me, but the guy moved the next week and we never had to say anything.

But see, sometimes those things that we would have done it, but we'd have done it as lovingly as we were capable of doing. And so sometimes if you're interested in unity, it's more than just getting together and singing Kumbaya. You know, there's sometimes you gotta deal with the issues that trouble us. And you either deal with them or you ignore them. They're either important or they're not.

And and so the whole bunch and then the the 5th one then I'm going to quit on that. No. I'll do one more after that. 5th one is is is really the place that's the rallying point of all of our college and honors. Every group has but one primary purpose, including this group, including the international convention, including every time we meet, it only has one primary purpose and that's to carry this message to the alcoholic who still suffers.

We may do it in a variety of different ways, but that's the purpose every time we meet is to carry that message in some way or shape or form. And and it's the great rallying point. I personally have never seen a fight over the primary purpose. Never seen that. I've seen it over money, power, position, you name it, but never over primary purpose.

That's the point where we come together without any question. Oh, but I'm I'm gonna share a little one little thing that, a buddy here in the group tonight shared we shared together. Now I'm not even gonna go I'm gonna I'm gonna skip that. That's it takes too long to tell it. Now I got a lot of other stuff on tape.

But anyway, I I think you get the point that, you know, when it comes to unity, those traditions are such powerful, powerful instruments for giving the guidance and direction for dealing with really knotty problems and, enormously, enormously helpful. And just like I said, I've used I you'd not only have, I do. I use those things in every aspect of my life. And, I'll I'll give you one what I will give one other example just to about that to bring it into a to a little more generic thing in life. A couple of years ago, 2 or 3 years ago, something like that.

Far enough back because I can't remember. Do we I was fed up with what we did at Christmas. I mean, I didn't mind eat turkey and candy and old fruitcake and stuff. I mean, I put up with that. But I didn't like what we did.

We in my home, we made a sort of a spending orgy out of Christmas, and we would just burden everybody down with dumb gifts that nobody wanted. I thought they did, but I didn't. And so I just didn't like it. One day, my family is used to talking tradition. We we do that every once in a while.

And, so I said, let's have a little talk. Only 4 of us, you know, 2 kids and 2 old folks. And so we we sat down in a hotel room somewhere and started talking. Would you believe that out of 4 people in a family, all 4 despise what we were doing? Despised it.

But we were caught up in that. And what we'd done was letting that was letting that financial thing become the driving force as a replacement for love. And we're trying to bribe each other into some sort of feeling of love. And and everybody hated it. I thought my wife was the primary cheerleader.

She despised it. And so we made a group conscious decision that we wouldn't do that anymore. And what we did, put a $50 limit on gifts. Any gift could be over $50 and and now we adopt the family. And that's in the spirit of Christmas and what a difference that makes.

See? And so what we were doing, we were caught up in in things like the 6th tradition where money, property and prestige divert us from our spiritual aim. That's not just about buildings, that's about the relationships with people and about my relationship with stuff. And so unit anyway, unity is built into everything in that thing. And so there there's just a whole bunch in the this in this whole business of of of of of unity.

But but let me get into the well, I don't guess I need permission. I'm gonna do it anyway. But, literally, I'll get into, I'll get into to, the service stuff. I I I heard it loud and clear in all of the presenters, last night and today. Sometimes I have the the the the disturbing feeling that we get so caught up in our romancing of the steps that it's almost like a tender trap where we get so caught up in working on ourselves that we make a life's work of it rather than moving that into real real movement into life and so that this program starts to happen.

I tell you what my basic belief is. Don't make it right, but it's mine. Is, I believe, and it may be selective reading, but I believe it anyway, that as we go through the steps, there comes a place and the guy everybody's hit at it a little bit. And I it's the first time I've heard it dealt with so across the board with this notion that the the cadence of the of of the march has to change a little bit if we follow the dictates of the program. And I my belief is this, that oh, you you know, you could size it up a lot of different ways.

I think the first three steps are basically what my my buddy Clancy said. It's basically a foundation for for springing a program of recovery. So a good solid foundation. I know many people who have done no more than that and died sober. Good thing about AA is that there is no passing point where if you don't get that, you fail.

Here, you stop at whatever you're willing to settle for. I know people who've done no steps, who died sober. I knew a guy in Raleigh whose claim to fame was that he'd never read the big book. He would be newcomers and that for you instead of saying, here's the coffee pot. Say, you know, I never have read that book.

And he looked like he'd he'd never read the book. I I don't know if he drove anybody off or not, but but, I mean, he's free to do that. You know, there is no past fail for you here that, you know, whether it shows up if we fail. But there's no there's no real real real thing says you gotta go. So first three is basically a foundation.

The the next 4, which which which you guys dealt with so well today with 4 through through 7 basically deal with causes and conditions. Those things that that disable me in my function in life. Those things that give me that mind that'll turn irresistibly to the thought of a drink. That thing that makes me restless, irritable, and discontent. I think it's caught up in those causes and conditions that come into inventory and then that that that huge decision stuff of 6 and 7 when we start to do something about it.

Then in 89, it's still basically a selfish action. We do amends primarily because because to get off our side of the street, but it does start to get us in relationship with with with folks that have to whom we've done damage and a lot of it. It does start to move us in the direction. Then I think there's a very clear point of demarcation that comes right after the promises. And and and and when you get through the promises and there are astounding things to say that will happen before it'll start to happen before you're halfway through.

And then once you get through that, really interesting to me what happened when we move into step 10. And I won't If you were here last year, you know that that's that's one that I have a little fervor about, so I won't go at it full barrel. I don't think no, I won't. But I think there's an important thing that happens in in step 10. And if you read it off the wall, if you just, you know, read it on wall that it would continue to take personal inventory and when when we're wrong properly admit it.

Well, that's pretty clearly inventory, but if you look at it in the text in the book, it goes beyond that. Certainly, it deals with that, but there are a couple of things in there that give me great pause in in terms of of seeing the transition that I think is is is is sort of a product of of 10, 11, and 12. Where, you know, it's a strange thing when we deal with a self centered condition by intense focus on ourselves. That seems to be a contradiction in terms. And so that's what we do up to this point.

It's intensity focus on ourselves and then at 10, everything from 10 forward has a focus on others. Everything. And so, you know, what it says is is, of course, we continue to take birth in it. Of course, we tend to take out the things that we would get we goof up on. We what we're restored to is human.

We don't transcend life. We we just get restored to be in human beings. And like any other, we're gonna have good days, bad days, we're gonna goof up. But the real spirit of the book to me is that we don't go into Freudian analysis just because we goof. Yeah.

I mean, that's just life. And we don't need to do some extensive inventory unless we're really bogged down in something. It says so many words that I can't see that that when we when we goof and when we let these sort of defects get out of whack, we deal with it at once. We discuss it with somebody. We take care of business.

We apologize. We do whatever we need to do. And then what? And then we immediately turn our attention to someone we can help. So the whole tempo starts to change from this excruciating examination of myself and a course of action to deal with it as occurred forth.

This is about real quick hitting quick hitting. Take care of business and move on with life. And so it starts to be a little term in there that has come to mean a great deal to me. Where the heck is my wife? Oh, here.

Somebody turned it over. There's a little line in there that has really impacted my thinking. That it says what we've entered the world of the spirit now when we when we get through it, there's probably we've entered the world of spirit. Our function now is to grow in understanding and effectiveness, to grow in understanding and effectiveness. I don't think that means more focused inventory.

I think it means in understanding the things around me my work so that I can do it better. Give give you example of that. I for a long time, I I, like many people, have been troubled with the revolving door of Alcoholics Anonymous. I swear to God, it looked to me like for a while that we were having more people come in the door than ever and and even more going out. I mean, it looked like just a a musical chairs thing of coming in and out.

And and I don't that troubles me that that when people come in here and get exposed that they're not able to grab enough to get hold. And I'm not worried about that, folk. Still do. But I I got thinking, what on earth can I do about that? And I started looking for stuff to do.