A 12 Steps & Service Workshop in Richmond, VA

That was a that was an awfully good sex session that Donald did this morning. That, extremely well done. That I don't think I've ever heard a a man's dealt with in a more sound spiritual kind of way and that that that whole process of restoration that comes out of that was was was good. And it does set up well for where where I'd kinda like to lead us toward this morning. You know, what he was talking about was that thing of getting ready to engage in life, and he gave a lot of examples of how to do it.

And I'd I'd like to kind of focus around the last three steps of the program, and particularly in terms of of how that how that gets us into the business of living. You know, some people refer to those steps as maintenance steps. I don't, because I think they are tremendous action steps that spell out a a real route and a direction for for putting the program into into maximum use. And, let me just stick one little thought in your mind to, to to to to worry around a little bit. We used it last night in a in a in a discussion we had at meeting after the meeting.

And, it sort of has some meaning for me. And it's it's about some people would call it thinking out of the box, but I like to think of the idea as thinking beyond the circle of my personal magic. Thinking beyond the circle of So often we look at things in terms of what I believe, what I feel, what I do, how I work with somebody. And and if we're gonna really be effective in trying to be of maximum service to God and those around us, I believe that we have to get beyond that circle of personal magic, of just what I personally do and start seeing how the fellowship as a whole, the group as a whole are are part and parcel of of what my effectiveness will be about. If I think of it only in terms of what I personally do, it'll be an extremely limited thing.

And so I have to find ways to get locked in and married in to, the things that make that effectiveness growth. And so those just keep that in mind a little bit as we're going along. I'm not sure exactly how it is to spell out. I don't have it written up. But I want to get into some tangible issues that have to do with making that stuff happen.

You know, I like to just kind of hit the steps and then we'll get in it. The 10 Step to me is, it does a number of things. One, I think that one of the basic functions of of the 10th step is slip prevention. And they that it has a way of of of assuring that I'm on solid ground doing what I'm supposed to do so that I stay constantly aware of what's happening and don't let those those those things start cropping up that rob me of my sobriety, of my peace of mind, of my well-being. So it has a very practical value in that.

To me, it also has a tremendous value in terms of taking a look at how I'm plugging this way of life into being a way of life. Like what I do at a practical level is when I review normally at the end of a day, I review what that day's been. And you know the emphasis is looking for places where we were wrong and where we've got some stuff that we need to straighten out. But I think written into that very heavily is the notion at the end of my day, it's a rare day when I do that at the end of my day, it's a rare day when I am not absolutely overwhelmed with the tremendous things that have happened in my life, just by practicing the principles. And my buddy Steve back there is probably as much a past master at doing what I'm talking about as anybody I know.

And it's just simply loosening up and trying to add a little something to the people around us. You know, Don was talking about it a little bit that when I'm focused on doing things for other people, mine is a giver that I absolutely can't give. I can't give more than I get. Let me tell you just a couple of things of what I'm talking about. And this is daily stuff.

Stuff. I mean, this is not once in a while. This is daily stuff that comes from just simply being free to be responsive to opportunities to opportunities to be of service. I start my day normally. I don't have a rote prayer but I basically start my day by asking God to help me go through the day in a way that would seem worthy of the gift I've been given.

That tells me what kind of an attitude I want to have. And then very importantly, to be sensitive to opportunities to be of service. Because my God, they're everywhere but often I don't see them. I don't look at them. If I see them, I don't acknowledge them.

And so what I wanna do is be sensitive to opportunities to be of service. And and they're everywhere. And like I tell you one thing that I ran into that, just a couple of examples. There's a place where I used when I was working, I'm unemployed now, but when I was working and before I started loafing, I used to go for lunch. I either go full bore or not at all.

Yeah. And once in a while, I would slip next door to another office building and get some emergency rations. You know, some grilled cheese sandwich or something just to sort of keep the wolf out. And one day I went over there and went into this place and there was a little mousy girl that was working. And she looked like she had been beaten by every weapon known to man.

I mean, she just was a beat up, disheveled little old gal. And she needed somebody just to sort of lift it up a little bit. I was there. I figured I'd do it. And so I just started messing with her a little You know?

Just just just playing a little bit about stuff and I don't know what. Didn't matter what. Just any human interaction was good news to her. It didn't look like she'd had any for us. A good wife.

And so we started doing a thing. And, and she said, Well, what do you want? I said, Tuna sandwich. And I like tuna pretty good. And it's a good thing because when she fixed that tuna sandwich, I mean, that sucker was running off the plate.

I had tuna on me I mean, she just got carried away with that thing. And, but I would that was her way of responding. Yeah. Now I'm not looking for an overdose of tuna. I'm just trying to help a little little gal out.

But, you know, the point is that you can't give away more than you get. And, about 6 months later, I went back over there for another dose of she was still there. And when I walked through the door, you would have thought that the guy from the $10,000,000 sweepstakes walked in because she still starts grinning. And she grabs that bread and starts I wanted a ham sandwich. I didn't have it.

But and that's what happens, you know, that that if if I just turn loose and sort of engage in the business of living and try to be of service, just lighten it up for somebody, you know, whoever it is, Amazing what happens. Amazing what happens. That what happens is that the world I live in becomes a different place. If I let myself do it, I could start being anxious about the world I live in. Because I live in the same world everybody lives in.

And most people tend to sense a real hostility and a lack of civility. Now I know it's there. Once in a while I'll run into a jerk but I've got enough sense to get away from them. And most of the time what I run into is incredibly good folks who respond well to decent treatment. Like Donald, I spend a lot of time in airports and I don't like it one bit.

The fun went out of flying for me a little over 30 years ago. And so I have absolutely no joy in that activity. And since the stuff has happened and that security nightmare has started to happen, I enjoy it even less. And so it's not a pleasant thing. I know the 1st weekend after the New York thing, I went to the airport prepared for the worst and I wasn't enough because it was worse than I expected.

And so I went in there and it was just pure bedding. I mean, it took an hour to get into the terminal. Never mind on the plane. And, when I was in line, I was watching a little gal. Well, little gal is not the right term.

But she was a lady. And she if you thought we had trouble, you should have seen what she was doing. This gal was having to handle every passenger who were routinely disgruntled. They were already mad about being marched around with an oozy. Search the thing, then search the considerable distance and search the thing, then search the people while it's somebody else getting mad at the counter.

And this girl was sweating, I mean big time. And so I got up to her and I said, My God, girl. You look like you're not having a whole lot of fun with this thing. And why don't you work on to quitting time and take the rest of the day off? And she she said, You bet I will.

And I ain't gonna be here tomorrow either. I'm going on vacation. You go, girl. That's exactly what you ought to do. Well, I'm just messing around with her.

And so we get through with dad and if she finally met somebody that wasn't mad. And so we just had a nice little deal there and she started along the way. And she called out to me. She said, Hey, wait a minute! Come back!

And I went back. Now, I'm talking about a nuthouse scene. She kicked me to 1st place. Most people couldn't even get on the plane. Now, I can just imagine whoever this New York businessman was that said, we're full in first class.

You gotta move to coach. I didn't look for him at all. But but you still don't and that's not manipulation. It's just what happens when I do things that for no real reason other than to just practice these principles in the way I live. That if I put it in place, my God, what a difference it makes in the way I live.

And I don't know about you, but that's the kind of world I want to live in. I don't want to live in a world that's full of anger and distance and coldness. I want to live in a place where there's a good, warm kind of working relationship with people. And that's what I find everywhere I go. You know, people tell me that every city I go in is the worst one in the country.

But I swear to God, I can't find out why. People tell me California, you're just at high risk to even get off the plane. And I have never had anything but cordial, helpful interaction with people. Amazing! And the only difference I'm the same guy who used to have antagonistic relationships with everybody.

And so that simple thing, it's not just the 10th step that that you know, we talk about these steps being connected. It's kind of like I mentioned yesterday. This whole process is connected. They're not isolated activities that we do mechanically. It's a way of life that if practiced as a way of life changes the quality of the life.

And so 10 Step is just a way of putting it in place and reviewing whether it's happening or not. And it's enormously gratifying to me to be able to see that. What I have to recognize is that the way I live my life is the most important message I'll ever deliver to anybody. It's not wisdom. It's not a whole bunch of knowledge about stuff.

It's the way that I live my life. And it's amazing how much certainly as you get older in the program, it's amazing how much people watch what you do. Because that's how they evaluate. I was in an assembly a while back and we were voting on something. And it's you voting.

And Jesus, if you've ever been to assembly, you know it's it's not like making sausage. It is not a it's a pretty process. And we just have an amazing faculty to take an issue and gum it to death. We'll beat it forever. So we're voting on this goofy issue And I didn't agree with it.

I thought it was dumb, well intended, but anyway. Voting against it for about the 4th time. And then I did some math. And I said, Shoot. This thing ain't going nowhere.

But I'm going to get it off the floor if I can. So next I came up, I voted for it. Well, I didn't think anybody gonna pay attention to that. I bet you I had at least 6 or 8 people telling me, why'd you you change your vote? Tired of messing with the dumb thing.

That's what I mean. But people watch that. And so the way I live my life is a tremendous amount of what I'm about. You know, like I'm kind of careful about where I hang up. My wife's not an alcoholic and she didn't do much drinking.

She's given up on that. But we'll have company sometimes and she likes to have some booze for some some of her wealthy relatives from us in Canada. And, she wants me to go get it. Well, I'm an obedient husband, you know. So I go over there.

And I swear to God, every time Now I'm grown. You know, I haven't been carded for a long, long time. But every time I walk in an ABC store, I want to sort of put a bag over my head or or something. Because my thought is suppose some guy that I just had in a newcomer group last night watches me going in. He says, oh, I see how this works.

You don't drink on Tuesday, but on Wednesday, you come down here and load up. You know? I doubt it. Very many are gonna say, oh, I understand. His wife sent him on a mission.

Yeah. The way I live, you know, I'm free to do whatever I want to. But I'm responsible to do things that will be attractive to folks if I want to be effective. And so how I live my life is a critically important thing in terms of that thing we're talking about on how to be effective and also how to get the real rewards that come in alcoholism. They we'll go through this kind of quick like that.

11th a lot of time and when I first started looking at 11, I really thought of it as a go stare at your navel step, you know, where you go off and find some secluded place and think great thoughts and all of that. And certainly there's a place for that. There's truly a place for feeding the soul, You know, for just quietly finding a place. Like I've, I'm a guy that loves water. And I don't like to get in it all that much, but I just like to be around it.

And there's nothing to be more restful or soothing than to get around moving water. I just love getting rapids and stuff like that and waterfalls. And I wanted a pond for a number of years. And, thought about building it, but I'm not smart enough. And so I finally wound up getting somebody to I wanted it, but I didn't want to take that money.

And so I gave it to my wife for her 33rd wedding anniversary. And thought of being real slick. And and, you know, I've been talking to her for 10 years about how much I wanted that thing. And so I said, it's yours. She's starting to like it a little bit.

But that was something I really wanted. And so my morning deal now, where I do a lot of the meditation and stuff like that, I sit out with that pond. The Beast and I sit out there and have my coffee and read the papers and stuff like that. So I like that. Yeah.

There's a great place for just sort of getting spiritually prepared to do stuff. But when I look at 11, I find it now to be one of the most powerful action steps in the program. If I'm really wanting to let this program become the guide for my way of life. Because what it says is that there are a couple of components to that. 1 certainly, is to sit by the pond and think heavy thoughts and to get spiritually connected and to improve that relationship.

Very, very important. But But for what purpose? And and and right in the middle of that step it says, Praying only for knowledge of his will. When I'm I'm seeking through prayer and meditation, praying only for knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out. And therein lies my purpose.

Now I don't think it comes in just one failed swoop of saying, Okay, you're supposed to go do a workshop in Virginia. I don't think it happens like that. But it does open me up to being willing to serve. And so that step to me becomes a powerful thing where I am now willing, now that I'm able, you know, now that I've gotten rid of the baggage, now that I've gotten open to being of service, I think this is where it starts to formulate a plan of action. And that I'm responsive to the things that come along.

I wanna know the knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry that out. And and my God, does it ever happen. Does it ever happen? The minute I become willing. And and from the time that I became willing, long, long time.

I've been doing stuff like we're doing here. I don't mean workshop but stuff here for 40 years. For 40 years I've been doing it. And somebody reminded me yesterday, the first conference I ever spoke at was the Virginia State Convention in 62 at a Quality Inn on Highway 64, not that I remember, but in 1962 at, over by Norfolk. And from that time to this, you know, I've done a lot of this kind of thing and a lot of stuff in AA beyond.

I've made it a practice. And Don said it this morning that I never say no. Never say no to a genuine request for service. And the way I look at it these steps help me to get a new manager in my life. And if I'm going to be the guy who's the resident critic of what the directions are to come, what the opportunity is to come.

If I'm gonna pick and choose on the basis of of what I think fits me best, I'm contradicting the whole process. So I made it a practice of never saying no. And it's a phenomenal thing in a way. This stuff of getting on airplanes and doing things. In 40 years I have never had to miss one single commitment.

Except one. That one. And, I'm not mystical about stuff, but I was at Tennessee doing a little traditions thing at an assembly. And in the course of it, some brought it up and I mentioned that I had never missed a commitment I never had to because of illness, weather, broke planes or anything. It's always worked out.

And I said, Gee, I would not have said that because I bet I'll have to miss the next one. Well, next week I'm supposed to go to Florida. And we had 2 feet of snow in North Carolina. We don't get 2 feet of snow in North Carolina. And when we do, we sure don't know what to do with it.

There was absolutely nothing moving in North Carolina. I couldn't get out of my driveway for 3 days. And, I'm I really was an important lesson for me in that thing. I was on the phone with the guy that was my contact in Florida. It was about like the death watch for me to go waiting on the call from the governor.

And I'm calling down there. I said, I'm trying Amtrak. And then Lillie, I called back. Didn't work. We're gonna try this.

Well, I tried everything and nothing was there. Finally accepted the fact that I wasn't going. So I called him up like I'm delivering the fact, I'm sorry, man. We're gonna have to unplug the life support. And that I'm just not going to be able to do it.

There's nothing smoking getting out of here. And, he said, Aw, what the hell? I thought that was absolutely perfect. It was absolutely perfect. It was totally appropriate that I was highly concerned about that.

It was even more appropriate that it didn't make that much difference. It didn't make much difference to them. In fact, he told me later they already had another speaker already lined up. They knew I wasn't gonna. But they let me go through all of that stuff to do what I was doing.

So that to me is a way you know, I like to look at how I wanna I want to be available to carry out God's plans for me so that when I find out what's God's will, I don't get in the way of it. I mentioned yesterday about paying attention to hunches. And when I get a hunch about something I have to take it pretty seriously because it normally has some real weight to it. And so being available to service, being available for God's plan my belief is this. It's just mine.

It doesn't make it right. But my belief is that for every one of us who goes through this program of recovery, whether we're AA, Al Anon, Alateen, whoever, if we work these steps and they become a way of life, I believe an avenue of service will open up. And it may be many things, many things but it'll open up. And I personally believe that without any question the quality of my recovery will hinge on how I respond to that. If I'm able to just take a look at the avenues of service that open up and walk away, I'm the loser.

I'm the loser. And when I do that and walk away, I'm diminished in the process. If I can take a look at a need that needs to be addressed and I'm capable of addressing it and I walk away, I lose. I lose. And and so it's critical for me in terms of becoming a real functioning, well rewarded, member of the world and member of AA that when those those opportunities come, that I do it.

It. I think everybody in the world has a story that somebody needs to hear. You've got a story that somebody needs to hear. Don't need to hear mine. They need to hear yours.

And when I selfishly withhold that, I lose big time. And so a real action step, you know, of of of finding a way to to to serve, of being open for those kinds of experiences that that that bring me out of myself. Get you into some deep water. I tell you this, that even though that has has been my track record, I have never yet taken on, an activity that I felt perfectly comfortable to do. Never have.

Not even though I've I bet you I've talked 10,000 times in AA. I have never done it without a certain level of tension and anxiety. You know, it's not like the first time I did it when I blacked out. I mean, I've never blacked out the first time I ever spoke. And, but it's always there.

And I personally think it always should. Yeah. I sort of got it in the back of my mind. If I ever get to the point that I can just comfortably get up in front of of a group and talk with no no neurons firing, I think I'm gonna sit back down. Because that means that it's moved to my head instead of my heart.

And and there's something intimate and personal about what we do in AA, or else it loses its meaning. And so I think that's really appropriate. It was also appropriate that when I responded to those things, recognize that I had to step through the fear, but recognize the value of stepping through the fear. If I live within my comfort zone, I'll never go anywhere. And and so really important for me to be in the spiritual condition that I'm ready and willing to serve and I'll become able.

Awful important for me. And, in the in the 12th, we we we're talking about the the the the stuff of of, of really making this a way of life, where you're having having done these things. There's 200 words in the steps. And having done what's laid out there, what it says to me is that I'm gonna have a spiritual awakening. I'll have an awakened spirit.

I'll have a different way looking at things. This mind of this chronic alcoholic will be geared a different way. And that's, that's, to me, is a real promise that's embodied in in what we do. And then having had that happen, we do a couple of things. 1, is we try to carry this message to to to to other alcoves.

That whatever method that we possibly can, no matter what it is. It's like what we're doing here today. I've been watching the the stuff that's going on. You know, Don, and I've done the the visible part of it. But the stuff that's behind this, what a powerful service that is.

Now I watched how those things appeared on that table back there. I watched how they happened how they happened yesterday. Tremendous service involved in that thing. Somebody got this hall. I watched people straighten up these chairs.

Yeah. All of those are really valuable services that help make something happen. So opportunities to serve, opportunities to carry a message go far beyond just what I can personally do and so I think it opens up in the and and and and so our task is laid out in there is to try to carry this message by any message that a method that we can't. And and then practice the principles in our affairs. You know, that that's the kind of thing I was talking about in 10.

It sounds easy. Except, I'm gonna oh, here it is. I'm out there. I thought I lost my coffee. It sounds kinda kinda cliche like to say that practice is principled in law's affairs, and I don't wanna skim by that too lightly.

And I'll just touch on this thing and then maybe come back to it a little bit when we get into to to this this other part. I think it's awfully, awfully important for these principles to be engaged in this process to keep from self destructing. We can self destruct in this program if the principles aren't solidly in place. And, there's an important thing that I I think it was important for me is to understand the difference between real purposeful purposeful action in our College Anonymous and activity. Big difference in that.

You have purposeful action as opposed to activity. You know, for when I was first in the program and I didn't even know what purposeful action meant, I was a guy who was fantastically active. And I don't second guess that one bit today because it served its purpose. You know, it protected me from myself. It kept me too busy to get in trouble.

It kept me getting out of myself and getting acquainted with other people and learning about program. Yeah. I don't I don't question it. I know that I was hid in that activity for a while and it helped me get the muscles to start engaging in life. So nothing wrong with that.

But if I see a guy with a good number of years of sobriety who's still frantically making 7 meetings a week, I'd be about as concerned about that person as it was somebody making one meeting a week because there's something really out of whack with that. Yeah. The, learning the difference between activity and action is tremendously important. Don talked about a thing that that about how we get trust in the people that we, that we we enter or we're really closely related to. Think about this a minute.

We say sometimes I used to say it, but I don't say it now, that AA has to come first. It has to come before everything else. I don't say that anymore because I don't believe that anymore. Because when I try to operate under that banner, I set up some real red flag conditions in the life of me and the people who are close to me. If I say to my wife, you know, if I if she doesn't understand the difference between what I'm committed to and what I'm just doing, I've got a lot of trouble.

If I say to my wife that, that, well, it's Wednesday. I'm gonna run over here, and I'm gonna do this. And she's got some trouble with that, and I say, well, you know AA's gotta come first. Well, there'll be a fight at my house. I I don't know about you.

There'll be a fight, yeah, because there are other things that are important. You know? The, what what I have to do that's critically important for me, and I am an extremely active member of AA, And it's it's doubly important for an extremely active member, and I know some of you are. My family fully understands. Everybody who knows me understands group is a commitment that's not negotiable.

And if I'm not there, it's because I've got some I either cannot get there, or I've got some service that I'm doing that I think is is is is worth making the move to do. But, otherwise, it's an absolute commitment. And like Don was saying, if you wanna find Tom Ivester, you go to Moore County, you say, where is that boy? If it's Monday, they'll tell you to go over to the Baptist Church of Southern Pine, you'll find it. If it's Thursday, they'll tell you the same thing.

Now that's important in terms of being trustworthy. And my family understands that that's a commitment, and there's absolutely no conflict. That's who I am. And you can trust me that that's exactly what I do. And and so, yeah, the other day, my son came to town, and it was a very unique experience.

He wanted to take us to dinner. And he's he's been a he's been a struggling medical student for a lot of years, and he's now self supporting as a young physician out in Tennessee. And he could finally afford to take us to dinner. And so he said, dad, we're gonna take you guys to dinner. I said, that's great.

And, only thing is that he caught a little look in my eye, and he caught himself. I didn't have to say a word. He He said, Oh, wait a minute. This is meat tonight. He said, We'll do a different time.

Yeah. No problem. But suppose I'd have said to my young visiting physician, I'm sorry, son. I got something to do today tonight. That's more important to you because that's gotta come first.

You know what I'm talking about? Just a simple thing of letting people know who I am and what my commitments are, not what my values are about them as opposed to this. So when I say to somebody, Hey, you've got to come first, that's an insult to somebody. And it's a contradiction of practicing principles. And there are also principles involved in a marriage.

There are principles involved in a parental relationship. In a work relationship. Sometimes we get into a box of of trying to compartmentalize our lives. You know, people talk about balance and they'll use some sort of graphic demonstration of so much time for work and so much time for play and so much time for AA. And it's not real bad thinking.

It's just sort of misses a very important point. Is that if I'm doing it right, if I'm practicing these principles as a way of life, AA does not compete with anything in my life. It does not compete with anything in my life. If it does, I'm not doing it right. If it doesn't make me a better employee where I work, I'm not doing it right.

If it doesn't make me a better parent, a better husband, a better employer, I'm not doing it right. Because this is a way of life. It's not an activity. It's not something that I go do and get what I need and then get on with my life. It under girds and makes happen everything in my life.

And so that's what's so important to me about having real commitments about what I do in this program and then having commitments to other things as well. So that I can have a well balanced life. And so if I do it that way I'm not running into opposition and and roadblocks and creating friction in banks. I can resolve that on the basis of the principle. And so I go into that a little bit because it lends to stuff that when you start thinking beyond your level of what I call it the circle of your personal magic.

When you start thinking beyond that you've got to get into broader issues than just how I do my sobriety and how I do my home group. And then when we start thinking in those terms, it starts looking at some expanded kinds of activities. Expanded kind of thinking. And it's awfully important to me to be well grounded and to understand that difference about committed actions as opposed to just frantic activity. When I look at what I want to get done, as an I remember, I guess if I had to identify a mission and you probably got your own if I had if I wanted to identify a mission, of what is it that I really want to contribute to Alcoholics Anonymous in gratitude for what's been given me, it would be something very much like this.

I want to do everything that I possibly can, contribute everything that I can to ensuring that the next man, woman, boy, or girl who comes through that door gets as good as was given to me. I don't think I can do any less than that. And that's what I want to do. Now that's a tall order. Certainly what I do in the circle of my own personal magic is a vital part of that.

Certainly there's a contribution to be made. Like I welcome people to Alcon's Anonymous. I don't care where I am. I guarantee you I do it in my own group. If somebody gets out of my home group without me arm wrestling with them, you can bet that they hid.

Because I'm gonna get that turkey if he walks in there. Home group members, everybody. I'm gonna make sure that everybody who walks in there knows they're welcome or they're gonna know that they've been harassed, one or the other. That is their choice. You know?

So I can do that. You know, I I could do that. And that has its value. You know, one of the minimum values that it has is that it makes every meeting I attend a warm and welcoming place. Because it starts with me.

And so I'm not somebody who hides in corners and this kind of stuff. I'm somebody who gets right out into the mainstream of the action. And so I can do that. But that's limited in me. That's limited.

That's just one little thing. It's value. Like I went in to speak at a little meeting down below where I live. And I just did my usual thing. You know, just walking around shaking hands at folks and all that stuff.

And I met some lady I didn't know. And she came over afterwards. She said, can I ask you a personal question? I said, sure. What?

She said, what do you sell? I said, well, nothing. I well, I said, wait a minute. Yeah. I do.

I said, I sell recovery and I got one hell a deal on that thing. And that's true. That's true. Because if I want to be somebody who contributes to the attraction of our colleagues anonymous, I can do that. I can do that.

And it'll have some value. So that's one of the things I do. But that's a limited thing. And so if I want Alcoholics Anonymous to be a place where somebody can count on getting as good as I was given, that's one little contribution. But it's timing.

So what do I do beyond that? I'm somebody who believes that a home group, a home group is a vital, not only a vital, but the most vital single ingredient in alcoholics anonymous. We call it the basic building block. And I believe that it absolutely starts with the home group. See, my personal my circle of personal magic is going to have influence the influence but limited influence.

And when I meet with somebody whether I'm doing it individually, or whatever, I can do my thing but if I don't have a group that delivers on what I promise I sold them a bill of goods. And I have to recognize that my personal magic is only going to go so far. And so I've got to have a group that I can trust to deliver the goods. And so when I take them in there I want that group to be a place where alcoholics have a good chance to get well. A good chance to know that they're in the right place.

And so I have to think bigger than just me and my magic. I've got to think about my dependence on a group to get what I need and to be sure that folk get what they need. And I'll tell you what's important. Well, I don't need to tell you. You know what's important about that.

I had a 12 step call one day and, and I messed with the fella all day long and he was actually agreeing with some stuff. And I and I got him to a meeting. And I wanted to take him to a newcomer meeting for obvious reasons. And, so I remembered a group that had a newcomer meeting. And I went over.

And, they they're a huge group. And they announced how they were going to break up. And a newcomer meeting was going to stay where we had convened. And then others were gonna scatter out the other meeting. Well, I bet 85 people stayed in a newcomer.

I said, My God. They've had an epidemic up here. Everybody dropped. Well, it always was just people hanging out, you know. In an ill defined newcomer meeting, you'll get a lot of mixed baggage.

You get some newcomers. And there were a couple in there, I think. You get a lot of people that want to hide somewhere to keep from doing anything. And you got some that want to beat up newcomers if they get an opportunity. And so here we sat, 85 people, and I got a brand new drunk sitting with me.

And they start some almost sound like a who's got a problem meeting. And we were just going into some mundane kind of conversation. And I'm sitting there talk about throwing up, you know. Let's talk about something that made sense to a newcomer. And I mean, it wasn't nothing happened.

Nothing happened. And this guy is more brain dead than I was. And normally, I'm not somebody that just likes to speak up in a meeting. I just don't like that. I learned not to volunteer very much.

And so I just don't like it a bit. And, but that time I did. I I I I I it a bit. And but that time I did. I figured if I wanted him to hear it, I better say it.

He's been listening to me all day. I wanted somebody else to say it. So I shook my hand up and I started talking newcomer stuff. An amazing thing happened. I just said a few words and you could see people turn around looking like, Where'd this guy come from?

And started listening because I was not the only guy in there that was totally frustrated by a newcomer meeting. It wasn't a newcomer meeting. And and such a simple little action can make a difference. They were not gonna make a permanent difference, but it made a difference in that meeting. From that point forward, I didn't chew anybody out and say y'all are misrepresenting.

I just started demonstrating what ought to happen in a newcomer meeting. And then people jumped right in. The meeting never went back to what it had been before. Now that's not a major solution. But at least it's an action.

And the point is that if I want my group to be effective, I've got to be careful that it's a group that has the capacity to be effective. If it's a newcomer meeting, it needs to be a newcomer meeting that actually does newcomer stuff so that when somebody comes in I can count on that resource being delivered effectively as we're capable of doing. And that's part of that thing about thinking beyond just my own limitations, my own personal circle, my own personal magic. But starting to think about how the group becomes a huge resource. I want to be sure that when somebody comes into my group they know it's a meeting of alcoholics anonymous.

I don't want them to have to guess what we're meeting about. I want them to know. Now that sounds like a throwaway. But I'll guarantee you I've walked into many meetings in this country that would have defied Bill Wilson to interpret it as a meeting about black lives. You couldn't tell what it was.

Well I can handle that, man. But suppose I'm a brand new person that's trying to see if there's any hope for me at the last stop on the bus line. And I walk into a meeting that's so ill defined that you can't tell what it is. And that's a very real issue in this country. A very real issue.

And so part of what I can do is try to be sure that my place talks Alcoholics Anonymous. That it's not Myriad Problems Anonymous. It's Alcoholics Anonymous. That's what it's about. And recognize that we've got a clear purpose to be served here.

Like one of the things that we deal with enormously now and have for a number of years is this thing about about, well, I guess it all came from time when we started doing wholesale treatment of folks. And we started getting just various people sort of shifted into alcoholics anonymous. With the thing of dual addiction or just addiction is an enormous problem around this country. And when I get off an airplane in most any city that I go, there are 2 problems that are paramount when I start asking how things are. 1 is the thing of dual addiction, that we just don't have real alcoholics anymore.