H the Unity Club Saturday speaker meeting in Winston-Salem, NC

My name is Scott, and I'm a alcoholic. Hey, Scott. I wanna say this. That brother right there, you know, tears almost come to my eyes because the doctors told him he was gonna die twice 5 years ago. And he hurt every day.

He hurt now. He hurt now. He might have to get his hat and rolled up out of here, but he come for it, man. He don't put no conditions on staying sober. And that that's where we all find out what we got when things ain't going our way, you know.

Because when things is going my way, I can give you good advice. Hey. But when the when the when the script get flipped, we'll find out what we got won't. We? Now I'd like to thank everybody in this room.

I got 19 years old, and I'm damn proud of it. Damn proud of it. Somebody said time don't matter, lose it. Lose it and see how much it now. Because if it weren't for the time that you stayed around here, we wouldn't get nothing else.

The time that we stayed sober. I see a whole lot of people, Scottie, John, the reluctant drunk man. He used to come over to the fellowship home and not be sitting over there hating my guts, seeing the male. I said, what the hell they wanna do with us? See, that's how newcomers think, ain't it?

We say it in the back and when the prayer is over, we run out. Can't wait to get out, you know, because this disease gonna wanna make you hate your guts. Ain't that right there, Ron? See that brother right there, he had 2 heart attacks in the same day. He had counts on his kid and he's still shaking.

Ain't took a drink. That's what this is about, ain't it? And this this program says we'll be restored to sanity. Right? It didn't tell me I was gonna get that BMW out there.

It didn't tell me I was gonna have a pretty woman. Hey. It said I was gonna be restored to what? When it come to alcohol, I was gonna be restored to sanity because sometimes, man, like, the the day, I was planning this stuff. I had to speak to it 2 times in one day, and I I'm telling you, it was just out of pure ignorance.

It wasn't because I I I I don't write nothing down, and I think I'm brilliant. Can it run into each other? So you know how we plan and everything. I'm a plan this out. Couldn't get to sleep till 4 o'clock this morning.

Then when I finally got to sleep, of all the days they wanna work on the cable outside my house, it was Saturday morning. And I was wanting to triangle that guy. And he worked for about an hour when I hadn't had but about 2 hours of sleep. And soon as I laid down, my brother-in-law come over there and say, man, my TV is messed up. You wanna help me?

And mom tell you what my first thought was. Shoot. Shoot. I wanna kill you. But y'all didn't talk me to go against my first thoughts.

Now I can't do that every time, But I went over and helped him with the TV and I felt better. Felt good. You know, I like liquor, man. I'm a tell you. If I hadn't liked it so much, man, I probably still be a virgin.

Because I was scared to death too, you know. See, I the way I felt on the inside, I needed something to help me negotiate life. See, I was full of fear. Didn't have no backbone, and I remember when I took that first drink, a look at it all changed. I mean, right there on the spot.

Boom. Like I was living in black and white. And when I took that first drink to tame my perception, everything was in color. You know what I mean? It was in color, man.

I said, man, I got it going on now. I ain't skinning no more. My teeth ain't crooked. They done straighten out. I ain't scared of nobody, Brooks.

Only problem was they say I only got one problem. See, my mind and my emotions say 1 make you feel good, then 2 will make you feel better. And then if 2 make you feel good, I reckon 3 is alright. And then on that 15th one, what I was drinking it for, it switched on me. See, I was drinking it for you to stay around.

Right now, I'm running you off. I was drinking it to be the life of the party. Now they throwing me out. Hey. This is one word.

I guarantee you every word body in here just about didn't hear you. Yeah. You ever heard that word? And let me add this one just in case you might not have and I'll come back. Man, I tell you, man.

It's good to be alive and it's good to get sober while you're living. Kinda hard to get sober while you're dead, I tell you. Hey. And I'm glad to be in the land of the living, and I'm glad to know y'all people in here. See, everything I spit from this podium, 99% of it come from people and alcohols and all.

You understand what I'm saying? It's the voices of AA, the experience of AA that helped me live this life. And, hey, that's good and bad. You know? That's good and bad.

But I tell you what, man. Hey. I was when I hit the door up in here, my life was nothing. I had no meaning on the inside. I didn't feel like I had a purpose.

And I used to look around and I say, see, I was wondering, Malcolm. I was hard here. Some of y'all don't have to go you don't have to lose what I had to lose, but I had to run it to the end because as long as I thought I had one more person to con or one more answer, I wasn't gonna do this. I wasn't gonna do this, man. I had to become homeless to believe I was alcohol.

See, I believe alcoholics was homeless. So guess what? When I got homeless, I was like, I'm an alcoholic. So I used to come down to unity and I see people with cars. I say, he ain't an alcoholic.

And I hear people that say, man, I ain't never had a DUI, but I've been sober 5 years. I say, he ain't no alcoholic. See, I didn't know what an alcoholic was, but I damn sure wasn't 1. Now you know you're sick when you don't know what something is, but you ain't 1. Right?

So I didn't know what alcoholic was, but I ain't 1. I ain't 1. And I'm a tell you, I remember that 4th drink after that. I got this obsession with that feeling. You know what I mean?

I had to have it, man, because every time it wore off, I left with me. Now I didn't like me and I didn't know I didn't like me. And I was a always like a chameleon. I'd do anything for you to like me. I'd be a speed bump, let you roll over me.

Then blow up on your ass when it then you standing all confused talking about why he do that. See, you didn't know I was acting to get my way. And then when I didn't get it, right, I got tired of being a speed bump. Don't you know who I am? I heard a brother say we like actors who wanna run the whole show.

Right? So if 99% of it is going right and one ain't, I'm a that's all I'm a focus on. Why is Jack chewing that gum like that? He ain't doing it right. You know, I know how you when I get real sick, I know how people ought to be chewing gum.

You I I know what people ought to be doing. Some of y'all sitting in here right now know what I ought to be doing. And you know you ought to be up here instead of me because you could do it better and you're still in treatment. Why do I know that? Because that's what I did.

I was in treatment and the people would come in to teach the class, and I'll say, man, they don't know what I've been talking about. They ought to let me come up here because I know how to run and direct the show. What's wrong with them? Don't they recognize who I am? What I ain't doing it.

Been doing it for 20 years, and I just got through sleeping behind the damn food line, but I know how it ought to be doing. I'm wiping my ass with somebody else, toilet paper, thinking I'm running Oh, Jim Williams say we're the only people don't know don't understand why the people we hate don't love us. That's a alcoholic. So I always took them drinks, man. And look, when you drink when you got this obsession and this craving like I y'all remember them days just like I say in the darker's opinion.

He said, they go on the well known stages of what? Spree. You have been on a spree and you wake up. You say your man hears the light. I done worked hard all week.

Gave her $50. She ought to appreciate that. It made 450, but she ought to appreciate that. Now I'm a go up here to this liquor house and tell them I gave her 450 and I ain't got with 50 and she ain't buying no groceries. And my mind would say, you just gonna get a half a pint and you're gonna go home.

And my my man would con me and I here was the lie. That was the lie. I get me a half a pint and I drank it and my body say, you ain't going no damn. You best be sitting here till you get enough. But I never could get enough.

I mean, when you can't get enough and you keep trying to get enough, you're gonna have some problems, ain't you? So I go on a well known state the stages of a spree and contrary to popular belief. Get do it and with the firm resolve. Y'all remember that firm resolve. Not to do it again.

In other words, I didn't wanna do it again. I wasn't drinking because I was wanting to do it again because I had done told myself I wasn't gonna do it again. I mean it. Didn't you mean it? Didn't you mean it?

Yeah. When you know when we really mean it, boy, you you walk around the house and people be on eggshells. You know what I mean? You be cursing out of ashtrays. You know what I mean?

Edge spread. Them fly go past and you knock out the window. You know? We we call that Cedric. See, I done been on since Cedric, man.

It's hell, boy. You need a damn drink when you come off of that. See, my problem is was and always will be between drinks. I got 19 years, and my problem is still what I'm a do between a drink. Because between a drink was when I was dangerous as hell.

Because I'd be done come off one in springs and I'll say, you ain't gonna do that no more. And I get to feeling guilty. I get to feeling boy, you know you shouldn't have did that. Then I get to feeling sorry for myself. And then my mind would say, you know, you know what can take care of this.

Then I say, you know you ain't gonna drink but a pint like you did the last time. I always put it like this the way we lied to ourselves before we take the drink, not after. See, I thought the insanity was the stuff you do while you drink it. When normal people if that my brother-in-law, I've seen him drink 2 beers one time. He ain't like me.

And he said, I need to quit. And I ain't never said that while he was in me. He said, I need to quit. This hog was all over his head and he was acting all funny. Hey.

Look. No, man. I ain't and, he was doing some stoop start frying eggs at 5 o'clock. And he quit with 2 birds. And I always put it like if I was boxing Mike Tyson.

And he whooped my butt the first time. Right? It's just like boxing liquor. Right? I say, you know, I know why he beat me that time.

See, I had the wrong trainer. If I get if I get a different trainer, this time it's gonna be different. Now he knocked me out in the 10th round the last time. This time, he gonna do it in there. And I go home and I say, I know what it was.

See, I had the wrong uniform on. If I get me some purple pants with some, you know, little like sugary lemon. I'm gonna take him this time. Now you done hooked me in the 6 round. Getting worse, ain't it?

It? It's a progressive illness. Right? This craving gets stronger the older you get, and I found that out. And, then I say I know what it is.

See, we did it in Las Vegas. I'm gonna move the site or the fight to New York and this time is gonna be different. And then one day you just kinda figured out, man. Like Bill Wilson said, he said quick saying was all around. I'm drowning, man.

Reading my own life. One day you figured out you know, Mike Tyson, in that area of my life, he's my master. And I remember the day when I seen liquor was my master, man. Then I rolled up in AA talking about I ain't never had no high power. Shit.

You ever call the liquor store to see if they had any liquor? You ever call the 711 to see if they had any mad dog? I didn't because I had faith. I had faith. Then he told me that I ain't never had no faith.

I ain't never believed in nothing. Yeah. The book say we got faith in the wrong thing. See, I had a I misused my thinking. I misused my I had some bad directions.

And man always got me caught up with somebody else telling me how to live, managing my life, and I still thought I was running. You have been in jail this way we do. You know we're real intelligent. Now, when you in jail trying to tell somebody else how to get out. You might be crazy.

Or when they call you, you might you may have to call home in jail and you say, why don't I get out and I'm a straighten that mess up? And you the damn man. You might be crazy when it come to alcohol. That word crazy insane, man. It makes people run, don't it?

See, really, the only people that use it now these days is us and lawyers, like defense lawyers. See, they're trying to get somebody up off the hook. Right? And, see, we was so insane. I know I was so insane when I was out there.

Right? All the excuses I used for drinking, I didn't never was stupid enough to tell no judge that stuff. Was you? I go up before the judge and the judge say, what'd you do this time? And I say, well, I went home and she hadn't cooked.

And I got pissed off from that drunk. Or they stop you for a DUI like they got me and you say, why did you drink this time? And you say, man, I'm a tell you if my grandma hadn't treated me like that. See, society society done got wired, that's why they got all them treatments on. We still think we'd be rolling up in the treatment center.

I know did you ever notice in them treatment centers y'all? They let the ones that's really crazy walk around free. In the alcoholics, in the attic, they watch You ever notice that? Hey. When I was in treatment, we needed a damn leader to go eat.

But we're running something. Right? I'm running something. Need a leader to go get some damn ice cream but I I can think good now that I ain't drinking. That's the way I thought.

You get sober and say that's the biggest damn lie I did. I got 3 days off for the I did it for 20 years. That poison didn't affect my brain. Damn. I can thank you it now.

I'm leaving treatment. I got it now. And I remember I used to come in and out of AA and they give me a book. I said, man, I like that book. I read it last night.

Here you go. You had part right in there, and I don't need you no more. And then we run I run back and forth in and out of 88 trying to prove that I was different from y'all and got my ass kicked to the frazzle. You understand what I'm saying? Hey.

I got my ass kicked to the frazzle. And if you don't like me cussing, we ain't here to be good because we ain't no saints. And I definitely ain't one. All dead anyway, and I definitely don't wanna be dead. I come in to Alcohearts Anonymous and it says it right there and it hit me in the eyes and said, there are those 2.

Who are incapable of being honest with themselves, but that ain't me. That ain't me. That ain't me. You know, I used to get drunk and till I had a job and go for a week acting like I had a job, but I can be honest with my believe it, dude. For a few of them mornings, I was almost at work.

So I realized, I ain't I ain't got no job. Few of them times, they fired me. I you haven't made yourself have a check. They done paid me. I'm I'm out here.

I'm showing up rolling now. And I remember cursing the woman out trying to make myself have an extra check. But I don't lie to me. I can run my life. See, I always thought with these these emotions.

I didn't feel like doing it. I wouldn't gonna do it. If I didn't feel I don't feel like going to a meeting tonight. Let me see the Wild Wild West is on. About 2 days later, I'm in the damn Wild Wild West.

And I ain't the hero. You know, I don't feel like, reading that book. I don't feel like doing that, you know. First off, when they told me to buy 1, it didn't cost about $5 or something back then. I went off.

Why the hell you think I'm a spend my $6 on a book? But I didn't spent quarter of a1000000 killing myself. But I can't buy a 6 that ought to tell me something right then. Then they say get a sponsor. Here come my other problem.

You ain't gonna tell me what the hell to do. I'm a man. Only thing wrong with my childhood, I stayed in it too damn long. I'm 28 years old still thinking like a child. Still trying to re arrange life to suit me and people didn't go for it.

Because see, my family got tired of me. My own mama say, boy, long as you stay black, don't never come on my ass. And I figured out I was gonna stay black long damn time. So it was unless I changed, it was gonna be a long time before I went to her house. Now when your mama, who ain't never harmed the head on in your life, tell you don't come over to her house, you best be doing some looking.

When your son who can see the truth and you can't roll up on you and knock a beer out of your hand every time you see it because he know how you act and he ain't but 3. You might wanna start thinking about it because I did. I didn't quit, though, because I couldn't. When you can't quit and you can't stop, you screwed, man. When you're killing yourself with your mind and you your body killing you, you screwed.

That's what I wanna tell you. Newcomers, y'all screwed. They didn't tell me like that, but y'all screwed, man. You you screwed. They told me and Eugene and all them, I thank god for events and they told me your ass is gonna die because you are in a hopeless state of mind and body, that them obsessions is running your life, that if you don't get with this, then you gonna have to get with that.

And there's a whole lot of people didn't get with that ain't coming back. And we'd be hard on it. I keep coming back. It's time to come back, Tyrone. We found him in a bed with maggots in him because he wasn't gonna get with this.

So he got with that. Lloyd, he hit a damn $10 rock, man, and blowed his heart out. He ain't coming back up in you. See, I was mad because I was in a treatment center, man. Couldn't even see God was saving my damn life.

I was mad every time I went to jail and they took better care of me than I took care of myself. They made sure I ate on time. Hey. Could take a shower, And I get right out of there and run and destroy my self and be sitting on the corner telling the boat. Man, they didn't treat me right.

They didn't they didn't treat me right. Don't know them times I was in jail, I probably woulda died, the grace of God, saving my life. That when I was in that treatment center that with God talking to me saying, hey. Slow down. Hey.

Three strikes, your ass might be up out of here. This it, brother. This is it. This is it. This the last chance she get.

See, I believe that for me. Whether you believe that for you, I believe it for me. See, I don't know what's gonna happen to me if I roll back out of here and you don't either. People said to me, say that I I I know if I go back out there no. You don't.

You could you imagine. I I can't even damn halfway imagine living how damn near death when I got in here bleeding out of my butt. Let me show you how my man lied on that. I wipe my butt and look at it and it be red. I say, you must have ate something, motherfucker.

I had big knots suppose and swelling up on my head and I weighed about a £135. My nutrition ain't eating right. Teeth about to fall out. Take a drink. Billy Dee.

Billy Dee Williams in the house. In the house. And I'm telling you, you know, it's true, ain't it? So I come rolling up in Winston. Man, I got with some people that were serious about this and they used to dick flat out.

They still do. Man, why don't you get with this because you can have a life? Why don't you because you don't feel like you can have a life when you first. You don't feel like it. I said, man, it ain't no way.

I used to see this guy in the halfway house. He had come down the stairs smiling. I said, what the hell wrong with this? I'm a have to watch him because I know he's drinking something. It ain't no way to and I would too.

I'd be trying to smell him. And I never forget this my brother, George, we was in I had about 2 months. I still thought y'all were gonna show me how to drink successfully. And I remember sitting in the meeting, and, somehow, I forget it where he said, man, ride with me to Greensboro. I said, boy, man, this is it right here.

This is it. I'm gonna drink now. And we got over there and he was speaking. I was mad as hell. I was hot, man.

I said and I started thinking, man, these people serious, man. They ain't really joking. They is really happy. Not all the time, but they they dealing with life. They dealing with either whichever way it come down, they dealing with, and they don't have to drink, and they ain't insane.

You know what I mean? And I watch and reconnect with their families. I say, man, I want that because, see, that's what I was concerned about. I say, man, how am I how am I gonna raise my son? How am I gonna raise it?

Man, I'm incapable. I remember when he was born, my man say, boy, when you have him, you're gonna straighten up. And the day they had them all so damn full of fear, I got worse because I didn't know how to be a daddy. I ain't had no daddy. How you be a daddy?

I wasn't gonna tell you I didn't know, so I just acted it out with my solution. Scared the hell out of me. I didn't hear you. What do you tell them? I can't even tell me how I'm a tell you.

Man, people start I start and I start my my direction start changing in here. I start having some hope. You know, I was a 9th grade dropout. Start going back to school. Hey.

I'm a tell you, man. Keep there some money in your pocket. I remember when I used to say, man, I wish that I could buy a damn soda, man. You don't understand me? I ain't say no god, no house.

I said a soda. I couldn't even buy a soda, man. I'd be walking around, my lips be all white. Couldn't even buy a soda, man. I remember when I could go buy a soda, man, and enjoy a soap.

Because I remember deaf and this guy would say, well, I'm a drink now. And he said, you have to try water. Start going up there picking my son up. Little things, man, awake. Yeah.

I remember his mama giving me $20. $20. Man, I couldn't blame you that, man. She say, here, go take him to get a haircut. You sure?

I scared. You sure? You you giving me $20? You giving me $20. And she gave me the $20.

I took him to get a haircut. Remember looking at me, man. It wasn't so bad. Your your mind will tell you this 4th and 5th death is gonna kill you. I'm a tell you what's gonna kill you not doing it.

How many people in here that did a 4th and 5th death? I guarantee you, if I go around, they got double digit. They rolling, man. They're the ones up in here smiling. They're the ones up in here living.

And your mind will tell you, man, I can't do that. It'll kill me. No. Not doing it to kill you, and I done seen it do it. I done seen people die because they failed to enlarge their spiritual life.

I done seen people die because they say, man, I don't believe in doing no inventory. Well, how the hell you know what's wrong with you? I didn't until you see it. If I don't know what how I'm screwing me, I'm a keep screwing me, and I'm a take you with me. I won't give me hell, give you hell, and I I'm a be in hell.

Sober. Sober. And then they getting up there to say it in the 5th step, it says, we gonna get a new attitude with our creator. Hey, I couldn't wrap my head down no loving god to save my life, man. How you gonna wrap your head around this concept of loving God?

But I've seen what my problem was. See, in the book, it says he's our direct. I wanted to direct him. I wanted to tell him who ought to die, who ought to live. See, when my sister died, see, it's alright for your sister to die, but not mine.

But guess what? She messed up my theory about being here forever because I'm a die too. And I hope the hell is sober. I hope it's sober. You know?

Then I got to that 8th and 9th step. Don't never run around here talking about you like doing God's will, and you ain't done no 8th and 9th step. And you ain't paid that money back. And you ain't went to them people and told them your side include your because I remember telling my sponsor, man, I love doing god's will. This is awesome.

Love it. Spiritual. Spiritual. Spiritual giant. What Dennis call spiritual giantness?

I'm spiritual. That's you ready to go do them a man? You ready to go tell your cousin, you gonna give me that money back. The one that was gonna kill you. You ready to sit down with your mama and look her in her face and say it ain't her fault.

You ready to take your boy and his sister that used to run the one corner of the house scared and grinning at your ass and tell them you love them and it was you and not them. Tell your mama, it ain't the way you raised my mama. You know, it's just that I like getting high. Yes. It's just that damn simple.

I like to affect, produce my alcohol. And guess what? I like the effect produced by the steps or else I wouldn't be here. I like the effect of my mama respecting me. I like the effect of being a her being able to go to bed at night and then when the siren go off, it ain't me.

I like the effect of my son bringing me a 2 shirts down the house saying, daddy, I got you something. I like the effect of watching him play football. He plays semi pro. I like the effect that effect when he look at me and wink like that. I like the effect of when I'm sitting in here crazy as hell, one of y'all AA's are playing it down so simple to me, I say, damn.

I like to affect, But, Deuce, when I get hooked up in the morning when I've got when I you know, usually, when we wake up with, I ain't got the right house, the right money, the right job. Where is she at? And when you get up, you you you got the right house and the right money and you got everything. It's right. I like to set produce like that.

And that's why I love alcohols and honors. And I can tell you this right now. If I hear you hear anybody in here, I don't give a damn how big you is say something about it. You gonna hear it from me. This guy named Tom Brady, some of y'all remember old Tom.

I bet him about 4 times this guy was something. Tom said he was sponsoring this guy and the guy start going to church. Ain't nothing wrong with church. Oh, guess what? I work for a ministry, and it's in the book.

It said be quick to see where religion is right. I was always quick to see where religion was wrong. Quick. Tom said a guy got them missing and he got drunk and he called him 1 night and said, man, I'm drunk. He said, well, why why are you drunk?

He said, man, I start going. Them people and they they did too much cussing. They was profane. Tom say, where? Where they at?

He said, I reckon they sober. He said, see, you don't even understand what profanity is. Profanity is when you defile something that god create to help people. When you do something that god create, you are profane. Ain't there some?

See the God I serve, we his kind of people. That's who we hang out with me, the lost, the one in darkness, after we roll with me. Hey. But we can't get nothing from him until we humble enough to say, help me. Help me.

And most time, if you don't ready for this, you got to get humiliated to get humble. You really do. If you if you hard headed as we are, if you hard headed as we are, And soon as leader said no smoking, I got pissed off. You know what? She ain't talking about me.

I'm the speaker. Still don't like somebody telling me what to do, but I don't have to act out on it and be a fool about it because she was telling the truth. Some people don't smoke and we don't need to be killing them. But if you ain't got a sponsor they talk about sponsorship. How many people here sponsor people?

Look at that. Look at that. Hey. God in the midst of you. I'm a tell you the biggest mistake you can make like I made.

Help. It's gonna be me and God. I hate they asses, but me and God, we're gonna really, we really don't do this thing. I hate y'all, but I love god. Me and god don't do this.

Well, the design is god, me, and you, and that's why I'm standing here today because life gonna chew off some big lumps. My sister died here about 3 or 4 years ago. Man, that was a lump. You understand me? That was a lump.

We me and her got real close, man. That was a lump, brother. And I sit and watch somebody die. And you ain't got nothing fun. I didn't wanna drink one time.

You know what she say, boy? You better not drink. She done seen the results of this thing. You know what I mean? Was able to go help and take care of and sit with them, man.

I couldn't have done that, not, drinking. I mean, drinking. I got me a BMW. I'm a tell you a little story about that. You think I'm bragging, I ain't.

I got it through a a number, and I always wanted a BMW. Right? I had spent so much money in this other car that I was damn broke. I had $46 and I was in here talking about it. And my man was kind and gracious enough to say, hey, man.

I I know where I can help you get it. He didn't give me no money. He just pointed me in the right direction. You see what I'm saying? And I got a damn BMW and didn't put a quote on it.

Now, did I play in that? No. Do I like it? Yeah. You understand what I'm saying?

I just had a wreck that hurt my back and I done got more help from people in AA than I have from my doctor. No. They didn't have the same man. Let me tell you what to do. Don't do this.

Do that. Ain't that awesome, man? Ain't that awesome? I always got to tell this story because I always I love to laugh, man. I I didn't laugh for half of my life.

I'd be damned if I'm a road through here. Sad. What they call it up in the book, man, a, glum lot. Sitting up in the meeting of I'm so grateful. Look like you wanna kill your damn self.

Trying to convince your damn self. But I done did it too. I'm so grateful. You know, I went on David from Georgia to say, if you're so damn grateful, tell your face. So we ain't leaving that shit, did you do?

Hey. This old guy, his name was a little bit more. And that's what we got, the disease of more. Ain't nothing ever enough till we get God. And I believe that.

Just like my buddy Grissom say, doctors told me I was gonna die twice, and I'm still here 5 years later. I'm a tell you what he did. He called me. He don't mind. He called me a couple weeks ago.

You gotta go in the hospital here for operation. And he told me he say, man, this guy he's kinda hot. He say, this guy from the bank called me talking about I can't get no credit. Well, I done paid my car. We had 19 cars drinking.

19. He's telling me the other night that they were so bad, he'd get out and take a piss and get back in and look back and the grass would be on fire. Let me tell you this. Me and him kinda got a little sick together. We done made the man this and made the man that.

You know how we can get sick sometimes together. We done made the man this and made the man that. And he called me back about that evening. He say, you know what, Scott? He said that man call I called that man and told man, look.

God done took care of me because I seen him make it off $20 for 3 years, a month. He asked me for some money one time. One time. And he say I called that man and told him my whole life story. And he told me to come down and get in the damn amount of money I want.

Can you be that man? I can. A lot of other people in here can because we've been in them spots, ain't we? But a little bit more had tried everything. He smoked banana peels to try to fix himself.

He put all kind of Band Aids on his emotions, on his brain, trying to kill them thoughts, They're voices that alcohol used to kill me. Good. It wasn't working. So he goes over to this guru, and the guru, he said, mister guru, I have always heard that you're the man, and you know how to fix me. And so the guru say, this is what you do, man.

He say, I want you to go to AA, the one of them 12 step programs because you're crazy as hell, and get you a relationship with whatever high power you can call the high power. Don't do it with a doorknob because we done tow off them doorknob before. I tow up those. God. Get you one with some people up in them rooms with a sponsor home group, clean house, and help other people.

My man said that that don't work. I tried that man about 5 times for 5 weeks. Shit. My man said, that's okay. I tell you what.

You got the money? He say, yeah. He said, give me all your money, and I'll tell you how to really get it. He gave me his money. He said, go back to America.

Get naked around American birch tree and run around it 5 times and spit on your foot? My man said, you man, I knew you had the answer. He said, thank God for people like you. And he walked off. And the old guru looked up in there and say, see, god, they'll buy all this bullshit and they won't even take the truth for free.