John K. & Michael K. of the Primary Purpose group of Dallas, TX going through the chapter How it works at the Big Book Weekend in Pratt, KS

Because we're just we're getting into the meat of things right here. This is how it works. This is all the nuts and bolts right here. And if you thought we were fired up before, wait till you this is I love this stuff. I think that's what a lot of them thought of.

That's why they all did They left. Well, shave on them. You you have my permission to call in the middle of the rotor when they show up tomorrow. Okay? Alright.

Here we go. Chapter 5, how it works. And if you think about this, I mean, how many groups, It's got to be at least in the high 90% of all the groups everywhere read this at every meeting. Right? You could probably I mean lots of our our at least in Texas, everywhere you go, they open with their meeting like this.

Right? We could quote this. But it was until I got sober and my sponsor, we went through it. We broke it down. I was like, wow.

I didn't know there was so much information in this stuff right here. What we always read. So check this out. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Well, you go back to the statistics they had, the old timey groups that they had where they were doing anywhere from 50 to 75% to 90%.

That's a true statement. Rarely did they see anyone fail who thoroughly followed this path. True statement today. Rarely hey. All the guys that I sponsored that thoroughly follow this path, they are sober today.

Every single one of them. The The guys who didn't thoroughly follow the path, all bets are off. We can twist that sentence around and say rarely have I seen anyone thoroughly follow this path. Because they got their own ideas, they got their own way of doing things. Well, I'm gonna do this.

They don't want to be held accountable. They don't want to get into the steps. Whatever. But it's a true statement. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves this simple program. Usually, men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. Alright? A whole lot of information there. They describe these people who don't recover.

Cannot's and will not's. Mhmm. Alright? I don't know many cannot's. Like I told you before, I I never met anybody.

I haven't sponsored anybody that was too dumb to get sober. I sponsored a whole lot of people or tried to that were too damn smart. You know? But there is that that class of people that, cannot get sober. They they they they they've got they've developed wet brain or whatnot.

You know? And they they they can't get it. Constitutionally incapable. Right? And look what it says of being honest with themselves.

And there's a couple ways to look at it, but the way I look at it is this. Here is a prescription for a miracle, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, to get me from a hopeless state of mind and body to the power. Today, just like it was way back when when I got sober, if I am being honest with myself, I will do whatever it takes today to follow these principles. That is being honest with myself. I wake up tomorrow and I choose not to call my sponsor.

I choose not to make an amends. I choose not to do a 10 step. I choose not to pray and meditate. I choose not to practice these principles. I'm basically looking up at the big guy saying, thank you.

I got it from here. I'm not being honest with myself because here is the prescription right here. If I'm being honest, I will follow these directions. If I choose not to follow these directions, I'm not being honest with myself because I'm telling myself, self, I got this thing whooped. Says they are such unfortunates.

They're not at fault. They seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. If you follow these principles to the best of your ability, it will demand rigorous honesty. You know, and we'll get into that as we get into the steps, but there's lots of things.

You know, it tells us that we let god discipline us in the way that we have just outlined. How did they just outline? They just outlined the steps. Right? Mhmm.

It says their chances are less than average. There are those 2 who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. Thank god for that statement. Right? Says our our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we're like now.

You get asked to speak before a group. That's how you do your story. What am I supposed to tell them? What I used to be like, what happened to me, what I'm like now. Bill did a masterful job in doing his story.

He did it just like that. Right? And that's what our stories disclose. Why? For the identification.

So a, the alcoholic can identify with this, say, hey. I'm one of those 2, and get some hope. Right? You can underline this, Larry. Because here's a qualification.

I'm not picking on Larry. He asked he asked me to point something out. So we're I'm following orders. Okay? But here's a qualification right here.

It says if you have decided you want what we have and you're willing to go to any link to get it, then you're ready to take the steps. Oh, I wanted what you had in 1998 or 97 or 96, but I wasn't willing to do a damn thing about it. I wanted to slide into AA because I earned my seat and, I guess, get sober by osmosis. I wasn't willing to do anything about it. I wasn't willing to crack open this book.

I wasn't willing to get a sponsor. I wasn't willing to do anything. This says, if you want what I got and you're willing to go to any length to get it, then you're ready to take the steps. At some of these, we bought. You betcha.

I gotta do what? An inventory? I gotta make amends to who? At some of these we bought. We thought we could find an easier, softer way, but we could not.

What are some of those easier softer ways? How about that little trend in AA today? How about just auditing meetings? Going from meeting to meeting to meeting. There's a whole host of people in AA today that don't even have a home group.

They go to this group for a while and they go over here for a while, they do this over here for a while. Right? They're they don't got a sponsor. They're not accountable to anyone. No one gets to know them.

That's an easier, softer way. How about just not working the steps? How about lying your way through the steps? How about keeping some stuff back in the steps? Right?

It says, but we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely. I gotta let go. Gotta let go of what I think is right, what I think should happen, what hell, the the the the the writing was on the wall.

Me running the show was gonna kill me. I had to let go. There was nothing else. Right? Remember that we deal with alcohol.

Cunning, baffling, powerful. Cunning, lying in wait to ensnare. Alcohol just hanging. Just waiting in the just lurking in the bushes. Just waiting patiently.

Waiting for me to slip up. Alcohol, cunning, baffling, and powerful. Without help, it is too much for us, but there's one who has all power. That one has gotten me. Find him now.

Half measures availed us nothing. Half don't get you half in AA. That's been my experience. I know some of you may have skated skated through your school and gotten c's and stuff. Can't get a c in AA, and I gotta go for broke.

Half doesn't get me half in AA. Half gets me drunk. We stood at the turning point. What is the turning point? Well, up until this point in the book, what have I come to I've come to 2 conclusions so far in this book.

I am screwed in step 1. I'm a hopeless helpless alcoholic. I hope what worked for you will work for me. Two conclusions. Right?

That's all I've done at this point. I'm screwed and I hope. Now I'm at the fork in the road. I'm at the turning point. I'm either a, going to take this road and do what I always do, drink to the bitter end, Or b, I'm gonna take the other fork in the road, and I'm gonna make a commitment in step 3 to take these steps.

That is the turning point. We stood at the turning point. I love this prayer. I call this the I call this the mother of all prayers right here. We asked his protection and care with complete abandon.

I think Earl Hightower calls it. It's like, you know, that little AA is on the cliff and he sees all the sober AAs at the bottom of the cliff and wonders how they got there. They must have found a safe way down. No. No.

No. They got a run and start and lead. I gotta ask his protection and care with complete abandon. I don't know how it's gonna work out, But I know me running the show is not gonna work out. It says here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery.

Right? And we got the 12 steps and I'm gonna flip the page. It says, many of us exclaimed, what in order? I can't go through with it. Do not be discouraged.

No one among us has been been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We're not saints. Right? We're not perfect, you know? We're not we're gonna make mistakes.

It's guaranteed. We're humans. We're going to screw up at times. Right? It says we're not saints.

The point is, is that we're willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear of 3 pertinent ideas. And here we got the ABCs.

A perfect recap of steps 1 and 2. A, that we're alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. Check. I got that one. B, that probably no human power could have relieved my alcoholism.

My mama pleading with me didn't fix it. Those girlfriends pleading with me didn't fix it. Those psychiatrists didn't fix it. That judge threatening me didn't fix it. I'm beyond human aid.

See that god couldn't, would if he were sought. I didn't know much about god, but it worked for the old man and I hope it worked for me. It's pretty simple. Too simple for us smart folks sometimes. Right?

It says being convinced of that, we're now at step 3, which is that we decide to turn our will and our life over to care of God as we understood them. If I knew how to turn my will and life over to carry god, I would've done that a long time ago. I got no clue on how to do that. Just what do we mean by that? The next couple of pages.

And just what do we do? The rest of the book to page 164. The steps are going to show us how to turn our will and our life over the care of god as we understood them. Him. You've heard people write in to me.

What step are you on? Oh, I'm just turning it over today. I'm just turning it over. Right? I don't know how to turn it over.

I just know how to work the steps. Take the steps. If I take the steps, I'll turn it over. Says the first now Bill's got I love this stuff because Bill's Bill's great at using analogies. Right?

And this is great stuff because he's gonna tell us about us. He says, the first requirement is that we be convinced that any life worn on self will can hardly be a success. Those were my sponsors question. How well was it working for you? It would.

Says on that basis, we're almost always in collision with something or somebody even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self propulsion. Here comes the analogy. He says, each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show. He's saying that an alcoholic is like an actor who wants to direct the movie.

It's like they're shooting Martin Scorsese in Pratt, Kansas doing a film. Right? And you get a little bit part. You got 2 lines in the whole freaking movie. Right?

And you learn and you know your lines too. You show up the 1st day of filming. Right? And all of a sudden, you go up to the you go up to Scorsett. Hey, Marty.

I've been I've been thinking about my lines and I think I need to I think I need to, like, ad lib a little bit here and you know what? This makeup is not really working. And maybe if you just, like, tone these lights down and put this, you know, I'm like an actor who wants to direct the movie. I'm trying to arrange everything in my life to suit me. I was forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery, the rest of his players in his own way.

If his arrangements would only stay put, if people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Now here's some arrogance coming. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. That's my illusion.

I'm trying to arrange everything in my life. If she would just get off my back, if I could just get that promotion, if I could just get the law off my back, if I could just finish my college, if I could just do all these things and you guys would get on board and do it my way, not only will I be very, very happy, so will you too. Well, that's kinda arrogant, don't you think? You don't need me bossing you around. We're going to find out what happens when we do that.

But it says, In trying to make these arrangements, our actor may be sometimes quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous, even modest and self sacrificing. On the other hand, he may he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But as most most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits. Hey.

I'm gonna try what works. You know? If I need to get my way and I need you to come along with my way, I can do a lot of things, man. I can, you know, I can pay you some compliments, you know, wink at you, do whatever I need to do to get my way. Right?

And if that don't work, screw you, because I'm going to get what I need to get. So whatever works. If the nice don't work, then I can be a jerk. You know? So what happens?

The show doesn't go off very well. No. It doesn't. He He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. Poor me.

He decides to exert himself even more so it's not going my way. So what am I doing? I throw more me at the problem. I'm running the show, it's ain't going my way and I throw more me at the problem. He becomes on the next occasion still more demanding or gracious as the case may be.

Still, the play doesn't suit him. It ain't never enough. It's never enough. Have you ever been in a position where you had the job, you had the relationship, you had the car, you had everything in a row. And you know what?

When I got all those things, it still wasn't enough. I had to have more. I was never ever satisfied. Maladjusted to life, I think, was what they call that. Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame.

Sometimes I'll take the blame. I can assure you when I take the blame, when I walk away from that situation, it's still your fault. I'm just taking the blame to get the heat off. Right? He becomes angry, indignant, self pitying.

What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self seeker when even trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can rest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if only he manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can all they can get out of the show.

Right? So I'm under this illusion that I can rest satisfaction if I manage everything well and you'll do it my way. And I eventually piss you off. You take some recriminatory action against me, and now I hate you. Does that make sense?

It makes perfect sense to me. Is he not even in his best moments a producer producer of confusion rather than harmony? We call that drama today. Drama. It's just constant drama.

Oh, sorry boss. I couldn't make it to work. I had a flat tire. This is like the how many tires you got out of that car? You've had 43 flat tires in a row.

You know, it's just confusion rather than harmony. All the relationships are in shambles. All this is in shambles. It's crazy time. Our actor is self centered, egocentric as people call it nowadays.

He's like the retired businessman who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation. The retired businessman who's got everything he wants except he's gonna bitch about everything else. The minister who sighs over the sins of the 20th century. Politicians and reformers who were sure that all would be utopia if the rest of the world would only behave. The outlaw safe cracker who thinks society is wronged.

Oh, yeah, and the alcoholic who has lost all and is locked up. Whatever our protestations are not, most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, our self pity. I'm thinking about me. So that was all kind of flowery language for Bill. Now he just cuts right to the chase.

He hits us right between the eyes with this. Selfishness, self centeredness, that we think is the root of our troubles. The book on alcoholism, and they're telling me my problem ain't alcohol. My problem is selfishness. Pretty interesting.

Driven by a 100 forms of fear, self delusion, self seeking, self pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Fear. Selfish. You ever been so locked in on fear that you can't even see straight? Everybody around you is having a good time and you're so fearful about that relationship or so fearful about that job or whatever it is that's looming large.

You can't even freaking get out of it. Right? Fear. Let me ask you, who were you thinking of? Yourself.

Self. Self delusion, Self seeking? That's a that's a fun one. My sponsor loves picking out those self seeking things. You know?

I try to do something or I think I'm doing something nice for somebody, but I really when it turns out, I really wasn't doing anything nice. I was just doing something nice so Michael would see me and think I was a good guy. You know? Self seeking. You know?

I had it we're at this treatment center, and this guy raised his hand and goes, on my way to treatment here, I the lady had a flat tire and and and I helped her. That's not selfish. And my buddy, Kurt, goes, BS. He goes, he was totally self seeking. I was like, what do you mean?

He goes, dude, you didn't help her to help her. You helped her so you could get a date with her or get a 20 dollar bill. But you weren't helping her to just be kind. You wanted something in return. Self seeking.

Kinda tricky. And it says, we step on the toes of our fellows. They retaliate. You betcha. You don't need me bossing you around.

Eventually, you're gonna be at the breaking point. You're gonna take some action against me. Like I said, I hate you. I hated a lot of people back then. But here's here's here's some good stuff.

It says, sometimes they hurt us seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find some point in the past when we've made decisions based on self which later places us in a position to be heard. That's kind of tricky. I had one of those. One that came to mind right off the bat. In the middle of the night, on a Sunday night, Monday morning, right, like 3 o'clock in the morning, I had gone down to I live in Plano.

I went down to South Dallas to meet a friend. Okay? On the way back on the way back, I'm going through an intersection. This lady ran the stop sign at the intersection, hit my car, totaled my car. This lady was from, like, Guatemala or something, illegally and didn't have insurance, totaled my car.

I hated her because I had to put it on my insurance. It was a mess. I mean, I tried. I hate this woman. I tried to get her deported.

You name it. Right? And I tell my sponsor about this. And he says, he goes, well, back up a minute. You had a job at the time.

Right? And I said, yeah. He said, well, when did you work? I was like, Monday through Friday, 9 to 5. He goes, you're out in the 3 o'clock in the morning on Sunday morning.

What were you doing down in that part of Dallas? Well, I've met a friend. What kind of friend was it? Well, see, I had this little pharmaceutical business I had going. Right?

And I was trading this guy some ecstasy for some cocaine. Right? Outside issue stuff. Right? He goes, He goes, if I if I remember correctly, those things are illegal.

I said, well, yeah. So you were out breaking the law. Well, yeah. So you were putting you were breaking the law, putting other people in danger so you you could get other stuff. He goes, that ain't that lady's fault.

Yeah. She should have insurance. We should all have insurance. But you know what? Big boy, you put yourself in that intersection.

Because if you would have been home like a normal person, you wouldn't have been there. And I was like, son of a gun. I placed myself in a position to be hurt. You know? I had another girlfriend that cheated on me all the time, and I kept going back to her.

I could swear it was her fault. He's like, who held a gun to your head, dude? I was like, good God. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self will run right though he usually doesn't think so.

They all see it. I don't. Now for all you people that sit in discussion meetings and chant the mantra, there's no musts in the big buck. Here's to musts followed by a promise that'll kill you. And if you got a problem with it, contact the author because here's what it says.

Above everything, we, alcoholics, must be rid of this selfishness. We must or it kills us. God makes that possible and you can take that any way you wanna take it. How is selfishness gonna kill me? Selfishness, fear, self delusion, self seeking, self pity.

Right? That stuff on page 52 Can't control my emotional natures. I'm full of fear. I'm unhappy. Can't seem to be a real help to other people.

Self, self, self, self, self. I get I feel that way long enough and I'm so miserable. That hole inside of me keeps growing. I get so miserable. My mind comes up with the brilliant solution.

Let's drink. Page 24 says, a week or a month after my last drink, I am unable to remember how bad it was. So if this selfishness is kicking my butt, this spirituality, that mental obsession is in play, I'm gonna drink. And for me to drink is to die because I've lost control and drinking will kill me. That's how selfishness kills.

In the cities, there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without his aid. We had or many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have god's help. I can't fix my selfishness.

That's just throwing more me at the problem. I can't do it. I gotta have help. This is the how and the why of it. First of all, I had to quit playing god.

Who was calling the shots in my life? Oh, I may you know, we may believe in the power of it in ourselves, but who was calling the shots? I was. How did it work out for me? It wasn't.

I had to quit playing god. Why? It didn't work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, god is gonna be the director. You need the concept for god.

There you go. God's the director. You're the actor. You know? He's the principal.

We're we are his agents. He's the father. We're his children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was a keystone of a new and triumphant arch to which we pass to freedom. Look at that word freedom.

Out of all those years of me trying to get sober, out of all those desired chips and those 30 day chips and those 60 day chips, I was never ever free. Booze owned me. Because I was going through the day thinking about not drinking. This is talking about freedom. Pretty cool stuff.

Look at the middle of page 63, and there's a third step prayer. I'm going out of order, but I got a reason. Here's the middle of the page. Here's the prayer. It says, god, I offer myself to thee to build with me and to do with me as thou will.

Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties. Right? Fear, selfishness, desires, and all that stuff. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness of those I would help of thy power, thy love, thy way of life, man.

Do thy will always, exclamation point. Alright? That's the 3rd step prayer. I've done it several times in AA before. So I got my last desire chip on a Tuesday, September 4th.

That Saturday, I'm at my sponsor's house. I've been in my meeting the the meetings we've had during that week. I've showed up at the treatment center. I've read the stuff he's asked me to read. I show up to his house on a Saturday morning, and we go over the doctor's opinion again.

We skim through wigagnostics. He's asking me questions along the way, and we get right here. Big boy, are you ready to do this work? And I said, Cliff, I'll do anything. And he says, well, we'll see about that.

He said, come on. You know? And he'd given me a big book that day, and he goes, we're gonna go pray. One of my prayer prayer bench. Right?

So I'm following the old man through his house, and we go into the living room where nobody goes. There's a coffee table. It wasn't a prayer bench, but I pick your battles, you know. He wants to call it a prayer bench, that's fine. So we get on our knees.

We open the book to this page. Right? And I'm still shaking. I mean, my I'm I'm hurting alcoholicly. You know?

I'm still shaking and vibrating and stuff, and we put our arms around each other and he says, before you do the prayer, he goes, I'm gonna say a prayer and make sure god's with us, and then you can do your 3rd step prayer. I said, okay. And I bowed my heads and I got my arms around the old man and he starts praying. I have no earthly idea what he says because in my head, I am praying my ass off. And I guess he quit praying and there was some silence there.

And he's like, I need to hear what you're saying to God. And now now I'm on the spot, you know. And I said and I said, you know, try not to cry, you know. Dear God, I've tried to get sober since 1988, and I'm scared, and I don't want to die drunk. I need your help.

Please give me the willingness to do whatever I gotta do to get what's in this book. Amen. And he said, stand up. And he gave me a hug. And he says, you just did the 3rd step prayer.

Look at the top of that page. The right I love this page. When I first got sober, I swear every Friday night in Homer Bound, I had to read page 63. You know, guys would come in, they'd get out of treatment. Hey, you still reading page 63?

Yeah. That's what I do. I love this page. But look at these promises. This is huge stuff right here.

When we sincerely take such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We got a new employer. There's another concept to God. Notice how employers capitalize. God's the employer.

I'm just the employee. The employee gets his directions from god. We have a new employer being all powerful. He provided what we needed. Comma, here's the hook.

If we kept close to him and performed his work well. My sponsor said, underline that. I underlined it. He says, there's your job description till the day you die. What's my job description?

My job today, just as it was then, is to stay close to god, perform his work well. I've since added on to that for my guys. My job today is to stay close to God, perform his work well today no matter what. No matter what happens. That's my job.

What does it say? What's the promise? It says god's gonna provide me with what I need. And Cliff said, if god's providing you with what you need, John, what else do you need? Nothing.

He says, it's pretty simple, ain't it? It's like, wow. You know, this is good stuff. Right? Established on such a footing, we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs.

More and more, we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. I spent 10 years going to AA. I wasn't trying to give anything back to AA. I was trying to suck whatever I could out of you so I didn't have to drink that day. Now it's saying I got a primary purpose.

My primary purpose is not to get from AA. It's to give back to AA. Wow. What a change. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of his presence, we began to lose our spirit of today, tomorrow, the hereafter.

We are reborn. And Cliff said, welcome, buddy. You get a do over. You're in the bonus round. Because left to your own devices, you would have woke up with a bottle of vodka next to your head.

And now you're in the bonus round. I love that stuff. Look at the end of the you know, I'd already did the 3rd step prayer, but look right after the prayer where the exclamation point is. I don't know why they put it afterwards, but they said, we thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready. It's a trick.

It is a trick. Like, oh, we've already done the prayer. Now they now they tell me I gotta be sure. I got a note in my book and I wrote it. September 9, 1999.

Dear John, you're never going to have your way again as long as you live. Love God. PS. If you follow the directions in this book, you'll thank me for one day at a time. My son says, you ain't never gonna have your way again.

Wow. Says, we found it very desirable to take the spiritual step with an understanding person such as her wife, best best friend, or spiritual adviser. But it is better to meet god alone than with one who might misunderstand. Alright? So they're giving us I mean, you gotta remember when the book came out in 1939, there wasn't sponsors all over the world.

So they gotta lay out the precise instructions on how to do these steps. AA came to Texas. You know how I got to Texas? Was it Larry Jewel? Mailed off for a book.

He had a book. That's how he went through or the lady went through the book, and so she had the steps. I forget. We can edit that out. Right, Steve?

Right? So they're so they're giving us some instruction. He goes he goes, the wording was, of course, quite optional so long as we express the idea of voicing it without reservation. So if any of you guys have gone through and read the history of the archive stuff and these letters from doctor Young to Bill and Bill to to to Silkworth and all that stuff, one of the key components of having a spiritual experience is this complete and absolute surrender. No lurking notion.

Can't get to the spiritual experience if you hadn't conceived. Can't can't happen. Alright? So it's pretty cool. Says this is only a beginning.

It's only a beginning. I just made a commitment in step 3 with my sponsor and the guide of my understanding that I'm gonna get off my butt and work these steps. That's what step 3 is about. Think about it. Last time when you were drinking and sitting on your sofa and you needed more booze, you made a decision to go to the liquor store.

Did the booze just arrive? No. You had to follow it up by strenuous action. Correct? The 3rd step has nothing to offer if I don't get off my butt and do a 4th step.

Nothing. The big book, as we said in the in the 4th of the first edition, inside this big book is the precise instructions on how to recover. The big book right here where I'm getting ready to read, it tells you exactly precisely when you begin your 4 step. Look at the next paragraph. Or let me finish that one paragraph.

And this was only a beginning though if honestly and humbly made an effect. Sometimes a very great one was felt at once. I felt a huge effect on my 3rd step. I've had guys cry during the 3rd step. Some guys feel a little bit of the awakening and then it hits them a day or 2 or a week or 3 later.

Sometimes, it'll it'll bring you to tears. Some powerful stuff here. But look what it says. And Michael's gonna cover this but I gotta I gotta because this is so confusing in AA today. Look at that next line.

It says next, we launch on the course of vigorous action. I just did a 3rd step. I just got off off with my knees. My sponsor has given me a hug and you know what we did? He said follow me And we walked back into his office in his house.

He sat me down and he gave me my instructions for my 4 step. Next. Right? Where's the gray area in next? Bill's a smart guy.

Bill's a smart guy. We gotta admit. If he would admit next month, he would have wrote next month. If he would have meant next, well, after you get your job, your wife, and your car back. He said next.

Put it another way. Remember getting paid on a Friday? And it seemed like everybody in your little town is at the frigging bank, and you're in the teller line, and you're waiting and you're shuffling up there. Right? And finally, you're the person in line.

Right? And the next available teller goes, next. What did you do? Ran right over the phone. Ran right to the teller.

Right? Because you got to get the money. You got Christmas shopping. Do you you didn't wait you didn't wait for an epiphany. You didn't no.

They called your name go. Next means next. That's what I'll end up with there. That was new. I hadn't heard that yet.

You know when we look at this and but people will contend. Well, let's go back and what it said. Well, these steps are just suggestions. That's all they are. This is it's a suggested I mean, you look at it at how it works.

How did they word it? Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery. Well, that next is just a suggestion. Right? Well, let's look at it for a second.

Has anybody ever been skydiving before? Jumped out of a perfectly good airplane? Alright. We've got a winner. Alright.

Let's look at this for a second. Let's educate some people in this room that have never done it before. As you strap a parachute on and you take a flight up, guess what the guy says? Alright. Next, we're ready to go.

And you know what he says? Ready, set, jump. And and you know what he says? They tell you before you jump out of a perfect good airplane? Once you jump, you do count, and they suggest you pull the ripcord.

It is an option. You don't have to vote. It's up to you. Right? They do highly suggest though if you want to live, you follow their suggestions.

Once it was put that way to me, I fully understood what they mean by say, if you wanna live and you're dying from this, you're gonna follow the instructions. We suggest you follow the instructions. It's too simple. Oh my god. Lack of power.

That is our dilemma In so many ways. But here we are. Step 1, we formed a conclusion. The problem, am I or am I not an alcoholic? Step 2, I hope this thing works.

I see it works in others. It worked for the first 100. I hope this works. Step 3. I'm not turning anything over.

John touched on it. I'm making a commitment up to God and to my sponsor that I am gonna work steps 4 through 12 which will show me how to turn my will in my life, my thoughts and my actions over to this God of my own understanding, which will restore me to sanity. This is too simple. But have we done anything up to this point? How many decisions have you made in the last 48 hours that were followed by action?

We make a lot of decisions during the day. Do we follow through with all of them? No. See, the only way we can follow through is follow the precise instructions in. We come out of our 3rd step and it says next we launch out on a course of vigorous action.

John touched on it. When I wanted a drink, I walked out on a course of vigorous action. I went to the liquor store. It's as simple as that. How am I gonna how am I gonna back up my 3rd step?

It says next, I'm gonna launch out on a course of vigorous action. The first step, which is the personal housecleaning. Wait a second. What step are we on right now? What did you just say?

See, the one thing we have to pay attention to this 4 step, this is the first time that Alcoholics Anonymous is going to ask you require action on your part without anybody else in the middle of it. This isn't talking about it, this is about doing it and look how it describes it. The first step this vigorous action, the first step was which is a personal house clean which many of us have never attempted. We definitely have never attempted our own personal house cleaning, but we have attempted burst or personal house clean. It just wasn't ours.

I'm all about cleaning your side of the street. You ought to be doing this. Taking your inventory. But when it came to mind, it says many of us have never attempted. It says, though our decision was a vital and crucial step, that step 3 decision, that commitment is vital, life giving.

Without it, we're not there. It says it would have it said it could have permanent, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face and be rid of the things in ourselves which have been blocking us. What are they talking about? Strenuous effort. Next, I'm gonna launch out on a course of vigorous action, which is gonna be a strenuous effort to do a personal inventory.

That's how I'm gonna back up that vital decision in step 3. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. Therefore, we started upon a personal Alcoholics Anonymous you better be better be careful when you bring that thing out. I mean, I mean, I'm not gonna tell you how many years I sat in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. And this 4 step was talked about as if it was a big, bad, ugly beast that should be locked in that closet.

Better be careful when you bring that thing out. I mean, I saw the people, someone would walk up, so what step are you working on? John and John would go, I'm working on step 4 and you could just step are you working on? John and John would go, I'm working on step 4. And you could just see the look on their face.