John K. & Michael K. of the Primary Purpose group of Dallas, TX going through the chapter We agnostics at the Big Book Weekend in Pratt, KS

Yes. Alright. We're in chapter 4, we agnostics. This is don't be a knucklehead like me on this chapter because I remember my first treatment center, and I I saw the chapter of we agnostics, and I'm thinking, I believe. I believe in god.

You know? I mean, I didn't think I had a problem with that, and that's not all they're gonna talk about in this. They're gonna talk there's a recurring theme through this, and they're gonna talk about prejudices. Preconceived ideas that I got in my head that keep me from this solution. You know?

And he he he goes into great detail, and I think I think this is one of the I I love this chapter. This is good stuff. So let's just get right into the meat of it. Says in the preceding chapters, you've learned something of alcoholism. They have beat step 1 up to this point.

Right? That's what they've done. We hope we've made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. Nonalcoholic, the hard drinker, given a sufficient reason, can stop or moderate. That's not me.

Alright? So now they're gonna give us a test, and I know what a a well, how many questions do we got now on that pamphlet? 44? 44. Alright.

Here's 2. Keep it simple. Right? Doctor Bob's last words to Bill Wilson, keep it simple. Here's the 2 questions you gotta answer in your heart of hearts.

If when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, I quit, couldn't quit entirely. My life's unmanageable. I failed. Or this is not an an and thing, it's an or thing. Or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take.

Right? So we've lost that they're talking about the loss of choice, loss of control. Says you're probably an alcoholic. Welcome to the club. If that's the case, you're suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.

Those are one of my prejudices. See, I've been in AA since 1988 and I hear all you big book people talking about spiritual experience, psychic change, all this stuff yet I'm the one who keeps getting drunk. And to me, in my mind, my preconceived notion or my prejudice was is that this spiritual experience was a bunch of crap. Kinda kinda wussy, you know. Only a spiritual experience.

But let's think about it this way, like a power greater than ourselves. Is there something is there a power greater than me? You know? Is there a power greater than me? Well, booze is a power greater than me.

Booze got me get got me to do things I didn't dream that I did. Had a lot of power. Had a lot of power. Are you alright? So let's keep on reading and see what he says here.

It says, to one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic, such an experience seems impossible. But to continue as he is means disaster, especially if he's an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live life on a spiritual basis that are not easy alternatives to face. Imagine the scales. Drink yourself to death, accept spiritual help.

Yeah. And for 10 years, I had to think about that. Right? Why? Because I had a lot of plans.

Had a bunch of plans on how I'm gonna stay sober this time. It says, but here's some hope, but it isn't so difficult. About half of our original fellowship were exactly at that time, so they're giving me some hope. They're saying that half of the early people didn't believe or thought they didn't believe. Bill Wilson is one of them.

Bill Wilson had the god idea stuck sideways when he talked to Abby. Right? We're we'll get into that, but, I mean, he he had god stuck sideways in his cross, my buddy, Meyer says. You know? But he got sober.

So at first, some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcohols. We're a bunch of hopers, aren't we? We're not the real deal. Trying to avoid the issue. But after a while, we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life or else.

And the or else is keep on drinking. Perhaps it's gonna be that way with you, but cheer up. Something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows us that you need not be disconcerted, so So we're gonna go on their experience. They wrote this book.

They're giving us their experience. They too recovered, so hopefully we can too. If a mere code of morals or better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. I told you about all the books that I tried. Right?

Everything under the sun. If it was about me thinking better, what do they say you're gonna act your way into right thinking or whatever? I don't know. Whatever that I know that never made sense to me. I've got some clear ideas of what my life should be or what I hope to be and if I could do that, I would have done that long time ago.

I couldn't pull that off because I drink. Says, but we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral. We could wish to be philosophically comforted. In fact, we could wish these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there.

Step 1, we are powerless over alcohol that our lives are unmanageable. Right? Our human resources as marshaled by the will were not sufficient. They failed utterly. That means my human resources fail every stinking time.

Says lack of power, that's our dilemma. I'm powerless. Step 1. Right? And I'm told you I had the prejudice against the higher power thing, but I just proved to you that there was a power greater than myself and that was booj.

Right? So I know in my mind that there is a power greater than me. But look what he says. He says, we had to find a power by which we could live. Could I live by booze anymore?

Nope. So there is a power greater than me and it ain't booze. And it says, and it had to be a power greater than ourselves and it ain't me. I'm not the power. So there is a power greater than myself.

It's not booze and it's not me. Obviously, but where and how are we gonna find this power? Here's what I call the biggest secret in a a. That's exactly what this book is about. It's main object is to enable you to get to the power that will solve your problem.

So I'm powerless in step 1 and my solution is over here, the power. Right? How on earth do I get to the power? The steps. Right?

When you're on one floor and you need to get to the next floor how do you get up there? You take the steps right? The steps get you from one level to another. I'm hopeless and dying in step 1 and I gotta get to the power. How do I do it?

Steps. It's pretty simple. Don't you think? Very, very simple. I I forget who the speaker was I heard, and he calls this I call it an instruction manual.

That's what this textbook is. This is an instruction manual. But I heard the speaker and he called it a prescription for a miracle. Because the steps are designed to get me to the power. It's all they're for.

That's why they wrote this book. Word-of-mouth, we would have died out long ago. But they wrote the book to give you and me instructions on how to get what they got. If I wanna get what they got, I gotta do what they did. It's pretty simple.

That means we've written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, we're gonna have to talk about God. It's a dirty word in some groups. There's some groups in Dallas that don't want you talking about God. There are some groups in Dallas that don't want you to bring a big book and they'll tell you so.

Here, difficulty arises with diagnostics. Many times, we talk to a new man and watch as hopes rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mentioned god. For we have reopened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored. You've been there.

Right? Evaded or entirely ignored. You've been there. Right? I'm all busted up, and I come in this AA group, and they start telling me about alcoholism.

Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then they start talking to me about god or higher power and I'm like mind snaps shut, closed, done, end of story. Why?

Because in my mind, I think I've tried God. I have prayed over and over and over, God, please do not let me drink today. I do not wanna hurt my family. I do not wanna hurt myself. Please don't let me drink.

And by 10 o'clock, I'm at the liquor store when it opens. So my mind snapped shut. We know how he feels. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently anti religious.

To others, the word god brought up a particular idea of him with with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood. Alright? A lot of us had a lot of religion ram down our throats when we were little. Right? Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate.

Maybe we have that thing. Maybe it just didn't seem like it was working. Right? With that rejection, we had we imagined we had abandoned the god idea entirely. So as soon as I got old enough, I I read I remember I read read an Ann Landers column.

Right? I'm 13 years old. We're living in Miami, Florida, and somebody wrote in to Ann Landers about their kids going to church and everything. And at this stage of the game, I got 2 sets of twins below me and it was embarrassing for me painfully to be out in public with my family. You know what I'm saying?

That's just the way I was. You know, I was a knucklehead. And this article mentioned that, well, when your kids are old enough, they can decide. And I took that to my mom and I said, see, I can decide. And I ain't going.

I didn't want that anymore. I wanted to be my own man. Look where that got me. Right? It says we were bothered with the thought of that faith independence upon the power beyond beyond upon a power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak and even cowardly.

Right? We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity with deep skepticism. I mean, look at go watch the news. This world is nuts. People blowing themselves up in the neighborhood, slicing heads off, people doing horrible things to kids, people stealing money from companies.

This world is crazy. We can have a lot of skepticism. We looked to scans at many of individuals who claim to be godly. How could a supreme being have anything to do with it at all? And who could comprehend a supreme being anyhow?

Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking when enchanted by a starlit night, who then made all this? There was a feeling of awe and wonder. We've all had those moments. Maybe it was the birth of your first kid or maybe it was your wedding. Maybe it was your divorce.

I don't know where you absolutely knew God existed. Right? God, you were so wonderful to me. Right? Right?

But he look what he says. But it was fleeting and soon lost because of those worldly things getting my way. Remember Bill's story? God, he felt the hope in Ebby. He saw it in Ebby, but it was soon blocked out by worldly clamors.

Yes. We have agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences. Let us make haste to reassure you. Underline this. Larry, underline this, buddy.

We found that as soon as we're able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a power greater than ourselves, here's the promise, we commenced to get results. Even though it's impossible for us to fully define or comprehend that power, which is God. Now I gotta give you a little story. September 4th, to get my last desire chip, my brain that day, that Tuesday, is screaming all day long, drink. Drink.

3 days off my last drink, I'm shaking. I vibrate. I stink. I'm unwholesome. I am unlovable.

My brain is screaming drinking. I get to this meeting, and that little old man gives me a hug. And I said, I need to talk to you, Cliff. And he looked at me like over the top of his glasses when your grandpa means business. He looked me dead in the eye and he says, what the hell can I do for you?

And I said, I'm scared, and I don't wanna die drunk. And he took me back into a room before the meeting started, and he smashed my illusions of alcoholism. Right? He gave me a good case of alcoholism. He became my sponsor.

We already talked about that. He gave me some stuff to read that night. He told me when I got home to my little crappy apartment at the time to look up at my ceiling, he said, you just tell God thank you that you got another chance. And he gave me some stuff to read. Right?

And I got cleaned up that night, talked to my sainted mother on the phone, and that's another story. We'll get into it later or something, but I got ready and I told mom, I said, okay. Well, I got this new sponsor blah blah blah, and he told me some stuff to read and I'm scared of the old man, so I better read. I'll call you. Love you.

Bye. And I started reading this book what he told me to read. And as I laid my head down on my couch, because I didn't have a bed, I laid my head up down on my couch after I said that little prayer. And I knew one thing. And I don't know where this thought came from.

This is desire chip number 38 or 39. I had one thought and that thought was, I don't ever have to take another drink. I didn't know how that was gonna work out at that time, but I remember laying down on that dirty filthy couch going, I don't ever have to drink again. Now imagine my shock when a few days later in our big book study we hit that paragraph I just read. We found that as soon as we're able to lay aside prejudice, express even a willingness to believe in a power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results.

I got that result. 1st day back in AA. Awesome. Next paragraph. Much to our relief, we we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God.

I don't gotta use your God. Says our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient this is underlinable too. Was sufficient to make the approach and affect the contact with them. As soon as we admit the possible existence of a creative intelligence, a spirit of the universe underlying the totality of things, here's the promise, we begin to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction. Here's the hook.

Provided we take other simple steps. They just tell you you're gonna get to the power if you take the steps. Guarantee. There ain't a treatment center out there guaranteeing nothing folks. They're just saying if you take these steps, you will get to the power.

Guarantee. We found that God does not make too hard of terms with those who seek him. I gotta seek. God ain't lost. I am.

You know what I'm saying? I gotta seek God. To us, the realm of the spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive, never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men. If I'm seeking something, I'm looking.

If I am seeking something, I am taking action. Pretty simple. When therefore we speak to you, god, we mean your own conception of god. This applies too to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you.

At the start, this is all we needed to commence spiritual growth to affect our first conscious relation with God as we understood him. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which seemed entirely out of reach. That was growth. But if we wish to grow, we had to begin somewhere, so we used our own conception, however limited it was. Later on the they just gave us some conceptions of creative intelligence, spirit of the universe.

Later, right in the 3rd set, they talk about god is the father, we're as the children. He's the principle, we're the agent. Conceptions of god. So we needed to ask ourselves but one short question. Do I now believe or am I even willing to believe that there's a power greater than myself?

Here's the promise. As soon as a man can say that he's willing that he does believe or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him he is on his way. It's been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone, a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. My cornerstone in the beginning was hope. Hope.

That's it. It was my step 2. I had a God in my understanding. God didn't do anything to me. I hope what worked for the old man will work for me.

Why? Because I was desperate. That was my cornerstone. We got any builders in here. What's the most important stone of a building?

It's the cornerstone. Why? Because if it ain't plum and true, the whole building is gonna go up crooked. Right? This cornerstone is in place.

That was the great news for us for we'd assume we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith, which seemed difficult to believe. When people presented us with spiritual approach approaches, how frequently did we all say, I wish I had what that man has. I'm sure it'd work if I could only believe as he believes, but I cannot accept as surely true the many articles of faith which are so plain to him. You know, you see that guy or that guy, like, man, if I could just be them, I I could get this thing. I don't have to believe what they believe.

I just gotta hope, have my own concept. I mean, I did step 2. We didn't get into some great theological discussion on religion and stuff. It's didn't talk about it. And my sponsor says, are you a real alcoholic?

And I'm snotting, I'm a real alcoholic. You're screwed. Right? Step 1. Right?

John, you think it works for me? Well, Cliff, I know it works for you. Well, do you think it works for Cliff and or Myers and Darren, all these other people out there in that church? Well, I know it works for them. You're damn right it works for them.

This program didn't work for them, they'd be playing bingo in this church tonight. How well was it working for you? It ain't. What do you he asked me, what do you have to lose except your life? I'm screwed and I hope.

Besides the seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. We alcoholics are some sensitive people, man. We try to be tough, but my god, if somebody says something bad about me, I'm crushed. Like a little sensitive little flower, you know. Good grief.

Oh, get over yourself already. You know, it's like, my god. They don't like me. Are they talking about I mean, my god. Unreasoning prejudice.

Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. It's like the proverbial fingers down the chalkboard. You start talking to me about spiritual things and I went, no. Because in my mind, I tried it. I asked god and he didn't answer.

Bristle with antagonism. So look what it says. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. There's another $5 must. Though some of us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings.

You wanna know why? Because faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we tried to be on other questions. In this respect, alcohol was a great persuader. Teddy Roosevelt. Carry a big stick.

Right? That was alcohol. It was the big stick. It it beat me into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this is a tedious process.

You betcha. It's a tedious process. You don't gotta go to the links that I did, but I had to go to the very end. It was a tedious process. Sometimes this was a tedious process.

We hope no one else will be as prejudiced for as long as some of us were. The reader may still ask why he should believe in a power greater than themselves. We think there are good reasons. Let's have a look at some of them. The practical individual today is a stickler for facts and results.

Right? That's a nice saying that's a nice way of saying we got a lot of thinkers today. We got a lot of thinkers that are alcoholics. Right? We like facts and figures and we think it through.

Right? Nevertheless, the 20th century readily accepts theories of all kinds provided they are firmly grounded in fact. We have numerous theories, for example, about electricity. Everybody believes them without a murmur of doubt. Why this ready acceptance?

Look. I feel pretty darn confident that if we walk over there and flip off the light switch, you know what's gonna happen? The lights are gonna go off. It's going to happen. Do I know how that works?

Nope. But when I was little, I saw my mama or my daddy do that and the lights came on or off and it stuck. It worked. Do I have to understand electricity? No.

I just know it works. When we leave here tomorrow, I have faith that Michael's truck is gonna start. Do I know how it starts? No. You put the key in, it starts.

I've experienced it. I know it to be true. I don't have to understand anything simply because it's impossible to explain what we see, feel, direct, and use without a reasonable assumption as a starting point. That was the answer why this acceptance. Everybody nowadays believes in scores as scores of assumptions for which there's no good evidence.

There is good evidence but no perfect visual proof. Excuse me. And does not science demonstrate that visual proof is the weakest proof? If a crime got committed out there right now and we all witnessed it, eyewitnesses, I'd say there's gotta be at least 53 different versions. Right?

Because we all saw something different. We all interpreted our own ways, right? I mean, they say the visual proof is the weakest proof. You know, my God, we we do this all the time. It is being constantly revealed as mankind studies the material world that outward appearances are not inward reality at all to illustrate.

The prosaic steel girder is a mass of electrons whirling around each other at incredible speed. So let's break that down in here. He's saying that this table, this conference table is a mass of whirling electrons, whirling around each other at incredible speed. Okay. It's a freaking table to me.

Right? It's a table. That's why we can see it, but we're made of this. Right? Why did it why do we do this?

Science tells us so. It's what science says. We have no reason to doubt it. When, however, the perfectly logical assumption is suggested that underneath the material world and life as we see it, there is an all powerful guiding creative intelligence right there, our perverse strength comes to the surface and we laboriously set out to convince ourselves it didn't so. My sponsor would say at this point, I don't know anybody too stupid to get sober in AA, but I know a whole lot of people are too damn smart.

Alright? Because I'm gonna try to prove everything, disprove everything. Alright? We read wordy books and indulge in windy arguments thinking we believe the universe needs no god to explain it. Were our contention is true, it would follow that life originated out of nothing, means nothing, precedes nowhere.

That is the opposite of hope. That is anti hope right there. Because if life if life means nothing, proceeds nowhere, is going nowhere, then we don't need to be here, folks. We don't need to be here. Instead of regarding ourselves as intelligence agents, spearheads of God's ever advancing creation, we, agnostics and atheists, chose to believe that our human intelligence was the last word, the alpha and the omega, The beginning and end of it all rather vain of us, wasn't it?

So what he's saying is who's the higher power? Me. Why? Because I'm running the show. Oh, I may believe in God, but who's calling the shots?

Me. Why? Because of my intelligence. I who think so highly of myself. Surely, I can beat alcoholism.

I'm like the captain of a ship who is repeatedly running a ship of ground, busting it up on the rocks. Right? Proving to myself and to others that I cannot captain the ship yet. I'm convinced that I must be the captain of my own ship. We who have traveled this dubious path beg of you to lay aside prejudice even against organized religion.

We have learned that whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to 1,000,000. People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about. Actually, we used to have no reasonable conception or whatever. We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when we might have observed that spiritual minded persons of all races and colors and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability, happiness, and usefulness which we should have sought ourselves. 2 sets of twins below me.

They all went to seminary. My sister's married to a preacher. Right? They got the god thing. You dig?

They get it. They're good people. I mean, they my brothers are good men, and they're good to their families. And my sister's kids are the tops. They're great people.

Yet when I was drinking, I despise them. You know, they're all at my mama's house having dinner for a holiday. I mean, I missed Christmas 96, 97, 98 because I couldn't get home because I was drunk. You know? And I just despise them because of my prejudice.

Did I really despise them? No. I just wanted what they had, and I couldn't get it. That's what he just talked about in that paragraph. I'll cynically dissect because I can't get what they got.

Where's halfway? I don't know. We'll figure it out. Instead, we looked at the human defects of these people and sometimes use their shortcomings as a basis for wholesale condemnation. We can do that too.

Right? Preacher gets in a little trouble. See? They're all nuts. Preacher's getting a little trouble over here.

See? I told you they're all sick. We're good at that. We talked of intolerance while we were intolerant ourselves. Oh, I love that one.

People talk of intolerance. They you look out there in the real world, they talk about being intolerant. Yeah. Who's intolerant? Them.

Oh, it's easy to do. Right? We missed the reality and the beauty of the forest because we were diverted by the ugliness of some of its trees. We never gave the spiritual side of life a fair hearing. In our personal stories, you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the power which is greater than themselves.

Right? That's why we're telling the story. Whether we agree with that particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. Experience has taught us that these are matters for about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried. They are questions for each individual to settle for himself.

Doesn't matter how you get to the power. I'm happy for you. How I get to the power, I'm gonna get to the power my own way. Right? It's gonna happen.

Look what it says. Here's where the the the, you know, our cement comes in. On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. Every one of them, not some of them, not most of them, not the smart ones, Not the ones who have it says every one of them has gained access to and believes in a power greater than himself. This power has, in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly possible.

As as the celebrated American statesman put it, let's look at the record. Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed, and we are some worldly folks out there, folks. Wait. You talk about being around the block, we have been around the block. You know?

We know the block. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that power and to do certain things, take the steps. There has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, and happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. Here's the hook.

This happens soon at soon. This ain't a step a month club, folks. You desperate? Well, let's see how desperate you are. Let's get in the steps.

Right? This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. I'm there? Okay. I'll pass it off.

Alright. Alright. Once confused and baffled by the seemingly futility of existence, they showed the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life. Leaving aside the drink question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory. Now you look at that and it's right back to, did our lives get better once we stopped drinking?

How about that? I can hear myself now. I was never told that I was too quiet, so that's alright. You know, and here it is. Leaving aside the dream problem, why is it that life doesn't get better?

You know, it says they show how the how the change came over them when many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives. They present a powerful reason why one should have faith. And faith is a tricky word, and we're about to really start looking into it, but they're about to really beat us up on on what is prejudice, what is fixed ideas. And let's take a look at it. This world of ours has made more material progress in the last century than in all millenniums which went before.

Almost everyone knows the reason. Students of ancient history tell us that the intellect of of the men in those days was equal to the best of today. Yet in ancient times, material progress was painfully slow. The spirit of modern scientific inquiry, research, and invention was almost unknown. In the realm of the material, men's minds were fettered by superstition, tradition, and all sorts of fixed ideas.

Take a look at that, and let's see where they go with it. It says some of the contemporaries of Columbus thought around earth preposterous. Let's look at that story for a second. Columbus convinces the queen that she needs to fund him because he's convinced he knows of an easier way to get to India. And in order to go east, he's gonna go west.

Now there's a good alcoholic. He had to have been. Think about it. There was some con games there and some talking, but he convinced her. But what did most of the people believe as Columbus set sail?

Can you imagine? There there were people up on the docks going, this silly fool is going to do what? He's going to sail right off the edge of the earth because the world is flat. Now did these people think this or did they believe it? They believed it.

They believed it in their heart of hearts that this man was gonna never return and he was gonna sail right off the edge of Now they thought that was factual. They believed in their hearts. They had fixed ideas that that was the truth. How many times in your life have you had fixed ideas where you swore you knew the truth and later something revealed that you didn't know anything? You were as far opposite of what the truth was that you possibly could be, and here it is.

Says others came near putting Galileo to death for his astronomical heresies. We asked ourselves this, are not some of us just as biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as as were the ancients about the realm of the material? And a lot of us come in here with this whole god thing stuck sideways. Whether we believe there's a god or whether we don't, we believe there's a god. I came in and I wasn't sure.

I, you know, I couldn't prove to you either way, but in my mind I was convinced that if there was a God, God was gonna be done with me because if I was God, I'd be done with a guy like me. I had a fixed idea that that was the truth, and there's no way it could be any different than that. How about that? A prejudice. I think I know something when I really don't know a thing.

No facts basing it. Well, let's see where it goes. Even in the present century, American newspapers were afraid to print the account of the Wright Brothers' first successful flight at Kitty Hawk Had not all her other flights had failed before? Did not professor Langley's flying machine go to the bottom of the Potomac? Was it not true that the best mathematical minds had proved that man could never fly?

Think about that story now. Every Langley's never did it. All these great minds that were convinced that they could create a flying machine did not work. So all of the mathematical minds joined together and said this is an impossibility. It cannot happen.

We've proven it. It's over. Man will never fly. What did the Wright brothers do for a living? Anybody know?

Bicycle mechanics. They didn't know any better. They were bicycle mechanics. They went, you know what? I think we can build an airplane.

Regardless of what everyone else said, in their mind, they went, oh, yeah. I think it can be done. A remote possibility that we can actually make something fly. And you know what? They were the first in flight, weren't they?

How about that? You know, had not the people said that God had reserved the privilege to the birds. Only 30 years later the conquest of air travel was almost an old story, and airplane travel was in full swing. But in most fields our generation has witnessed complete liberation of thinking. Show any I love this part.

Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to explore the moon by our means of a rocket, and he will say, I bet they do it. Maybe not so long either. Think about this. In 1939, let's pull something out that will never happen. So Bill goes, going to the moon.

Let's write this down. There's no way that'll ever happen. And I bet we can find somebody who will think, I bet they can do it. We'll find a right brother that'll say, I I think that could happen. You might know when we landed on the moon.

Remember? Somebody old these are few years. If you could get it. 1969. It wasn't that long after.

He's picking up something that it was, oh, this will never happen. I'll be darned. 30 years later, here we are on the moon. Amazing. It's a foresight in this.

It's almost amazing. Is it not our age characterized by the ease in which we discard old ideas for new? By the complete readiness, which which we throw away the theory or gadget, which does not work for something new that which does. We had to ask ourselves, why shouldn't we apply to our human problems the same readiness to change our point of view? Just maybe if we open our mind up a little bit to this power greater than ourselves, just maybe it could solve our problem.

You don't have to believe it's not a requirement of step 2. It cannot be enforced enough. The belief in God is not a requirement in step 2. All I have to do is be able to pull a just maybe out. Says, we're having I love this.

When you walked into Alcoholics Anonymous, was any of this stuff going on in your life? We're having trouble with personal relationships. Yep. There it is. We couldn't control our emotional natures.

Now it didn't mean I was crying all the time. One minute I may be crying, the next minute I might wanna take your head off because you looked at me wrong. I'm on an emotional roller coaster. I cannot control my emotional nature. It says, we were a prey to misery and depression.

Oh, poor me. All over it. We couldn't make a living. We had a feeling of uselessness. We're full of fear.

We're unhappy. First time I read that, I'm like, they were following me around, weren't they? Somebody was taking notes. But look at this. Was there not a basic solution to these bedevilments?

All of these things. Why is it that our life is so unsatisfactory once we stop drinking? We stop drinking and this is what happens to us. If you want to know why you get restless, irritable, and discontent, that is driving the bus. That is bringing you right to it.

But look at this. Wasn't that, you know, wasn't that a basic solution to these things that are that are causing our demise more important than whether we should see, like, the next episode of ER. You want to put it in modern day terms, that's what they're talking about here. Why is it I I come on. You need to get working on your on your 4 step.

Yeah. But there's a cowboy game on right now. Think about it. We've got all this stuff happening as we're unraveling on the inside. The hole's growing bigger and bigger, yet my mind comes up with, hey, the game's on at 3.

Isn't that more important? I'll get to that stuff later. That's what they're telling us here. In a more important than where you see newsreels of lunar flight, of course it was. When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the spiritual spirit of the universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God.

Our ideas did not work. And the biggest question you have to ask yourself is, how well is your way worked out for you up to this point? My sponsor looked at me. So how's it working out for you? I'm on a green vinyl mat.

I know linoleum floor that has stuff on it that god only knows what it is. All my belongings were inside a Tom Thumb plastic bag. Everything that I had in my possession and most of those possessions were not mine. Some of you may understand that. I'm 35 years old, and he asked me, how was this working out for you?

And the fact of the matter is my ideas did not work. Like John said, I'm the captain of my ship running to the ground every time. Give me the wheel. I've got it this time. Right back into the rocks.

But here it is. But the God idea did. The Wright brothers almost childish faith that they could build a machine which could fly was the main spring of their accomplishment. Without that, nothing could have happened. We, agnostics and atheists, were sticking to the idea that self sufficiency would solve our problems.

When others showed us that God's sufficiency worked with them, we began to feel like those who those who had insisted the right the rights would never fly. Logic is great stuff. We liked it. We still like it. We're some thinkers.

Love to think. Let's think and talk about it. It says I love this. This one, let's see here. It is not by chance we're given the power to reason, to examine the evidence of our senses, and to draw conclusions.

That is one of man's magnificent attributes. We agnostically inclined, would not feel satisfied with the proposal which does not lend itself to reasonable approach or and interpretation. Hence, we are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is reasonable, why we think it is more sane and logical to believe than not to believe, why we say our former thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our hands in doubt and said we do we don't know. When we became alcoholics crushed by a self imposed crisis, how about that? No one else did it.

We did it. We could not postpone or evade. We had to fiercely face the proposition that either God is everything or he is nothing. You know, God either is or he isn't. What is our choice to be?

It's pretty simple. Arrived at this point, we were squarely confronted with a question of faith. And here we are back at that faith word again. Since we couldn't duck the issue. Some of us had already walked far over the bridge of reason towards a desired shore of faith.

And and look how bridge of reason is Have you ever noticed? It's capitalized. What was our higher power for years? My thinking. My bridge of reason.

That was my higher power. You ever notice how Bill capitalized that for a reason? Think about it. I finally I said it. The outline in the promises of the new land have brought us to the luster of tired eyes and fresh courage of flagging spirits.

Friendly hands had stretched out and welcome. Here's the Aayers. We were grateful that reason, here it is again, capitalized our higher power, had brought us so far. But somehow we could not quite step ashore. Perhaps we have been leaning too heavily on reason that last mile and we did not like to lose our support.