The Our Primary Purpose confernence in London, UK

Gonna be a workshop, and the theme will be our primary purpose, which is what we're here for today. Chris, Alicia, and Myers are gonna share for a, a period of time each on their experience of, what the primary purpose means to them. And this afternoon after lunch, there will be a question and answer session with a roving microphone, so we kind of use the lunchtime period to to think of some questions to catch them out, I think. Be the the thing to do. Smiling, Chris.

So I'm just gonna start by reading, both the the short form and the long form of the 5th tradition, so I think that'd be quite appropriate. The, the short form of the 5th tradition is each group has but one primary purpose, to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. And the long form states each Alcoholics Anonymous Group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose, that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. And with that, I'd like to firstly hand over to Alicia who's going to kick us off. Thanks.

I won't touch it. Hi. I'm Alicia. I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Alicia.

I I was able to share last night on on some of my experience around, the primary purpose and how it affected my life when I came into Alcoholics Anonymous and how I in turn, use it in my own recovery today. So I'm kinda gonna recap some of that and then and then share blessed was blessed to walk into a group that, that knew what their primary purpose was. And, and not only that, they didn't just know it. You could see it in their in their feet and in what they did. They weren't just talking good stuff out of this book.

They were immediately, coming to see me, the the woman that that handed me her card and said said you needed a sponsor. She knew exactly, you know, what she was doing and and what her primary purpose was. Because of that experience, you know, I, I've been involved in our home group there for almost 7 years. It's the Ingram Solutions Group. And, and it's what we have.

We have a large big book study on Wednesday nights and and, and we would come straight out of this book. And there's there's a lot of treatment centers in our in our area there in the Hill Country. And so it's it's constantly filled with with newcomers and and, it's a a gift to be in there because there's there's people that are hungry for this message. And, I know a lot of y'all have the experience, obviously, of walking into a meeting where that where that didn't happen, where you weren't hearing the message. And if you did hear the message, you were ridiculed, you know, or or if you did share the message, you were ridiculed for that.

And I just, again, bless you for continuing to stand up and fight for this, because I just I can't imagine having to go through that. But in our in our meeting, that's exactly what what we're doing there. And and we're carrying this message to the new guy that walks in. And, there's there's people in in the Hill Country that don't wanna come out to our group, you know, and and they they they cut it down for different reasons. And and that meeting.

And and it's been it's been called the click and the cult and the, you know, the different things like that. It's kind of a compliment, I guess. I'm a part of the cult, you know, the the spiritual cult. And it's funny when you talk to these people as well, have you ever have you ever really been out there? No.

But I just I just really hear that it's it's very, very cultish, very cliquish. And, and, well, what meeting do you go to? Well, I really haven't been going to many, you know, and it's oh, you know, and and so when they do get to come out there and they and they see what we're really about, it's it's, it's it's a cool thing to see them kind of come alive to what we're talking about and what the purpose of our group is out there. Being a home group member there has been very important, to get involved in on the on the service level and and to be involved in our group consciences and the things that go on there so that we can make sure that our group stays that way. Because as, as many groups I'm sure have experienced, there's an influx of people that come in and out that get involved and they come and they leave and some can be kind of infectious and kind of poisonous to the group.

And so it's very important for me to stay, to stay active in that fellowship and to be there when it's, you know, when the doors are open. And so that people know, not only am I am I talking about that this is my primary purpose, but they can see in what I'm doing that I am involved and it is important to me. The other aspect of this, or as far as my responsibility, is is the women that I, that I get to sponsor and that I get to work with. It's important that I'm instilling this in them as well, that this is why we are here. This is not, as a gentleman shared yesterday, this is not a social event.

You know, this is not, this is not a dating service. AA is not, you know, these different things. We are here, for a big reason. And, again, the ladies that sponsored me, the ladies that have worked with me, they, it was real clear that that's the whole reason that I'm doing this. And, I've I've had many that, you know, in early sobriety, they leave and come back and they're saying, you know, I just didn't get anything out of that meeting.

It just wasn't a good meeting. It didn't do anything for me. I was like, that's why you missed the point. You are now there because the new one's gonna come in, you know. And and at the end of our meeting before we close, it would kinda ask, if there's anyone who's, you know, worked the 12 steps and available to sponsor, please raise your hand.

And it's pretty cool because out of a room of about a 100 and something people, you'll see over half the room raise their hand. And, with that many newcomers in the area, they get to kind of look around and see, holy cow, you know, this this group is this is what they're there for, you know. And and, they have the advantage to to get involved and get hooked up with a sponsor right then so that they can see who's ready and who's there, you know. So again, these girls that I get to work with at the beginning that they're seeing that, you know, I didn't get anything out of that or there were no cute guys at that meeting or or there was, you know, I'm not going back or, you know, we can as we get further along in the work, they start to really understand what their primary purpose for being there is. And then they get involved, as a part of a member of the home group and and get to really see what this whole deal is about.

Again, I just since I don't have some of the experience that the negative side of it, you know, I really feel so blessed and so fortunate to have to walk into a group that that knew what needed to be done. It's again, it's now my job to be in that meeting and be there for when the next one walks in. Because if if I'm not there, you know, then then what's gonna then what's gonna happen if if there's not another woman that's in the room? I know after after speaking last night, there's quite a few of you ladies who have come up and just talked about the identification and and, what you heard in my story last night that you identified with. And and that's what last night for me was about.

And, I think each one of you said something because it shows me that I've, you know, that God showed up and what needed to happen happened. And, and that's just like being over here in in another country doing it. It's the same thing I do on Wednesday nights at 8 o'clock. I need to be in that meeting because that is what my primary purpose is there. This disease is is just it it tears through people's lives.

And, it is a job that I have. It's it's my as in having a new employer now, you know, the book tells me what my new job is is to, just forgot my job. Be of maximum service. I take it really seriously. Help me out here.

Anyway, to be of maximum service, to God my fellows, the guys are cringing up here. And I know that today, and I take it pretty serious today. And and, and after having no purpose, you know, for so long and and and wondering so many mornings, what is the point? You know, what is the point of my life? Not really understanding what that is and taking it pretty serious.

You know, in Bill's story, I think there's, there's such a great line when he's, you know, at the end of his deal. And it's and he says, for if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials trials and low spots ahead. Oops. There's Ethan. If he did not work, he would surely drink again.

And if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us, it's just like that. And it's like Bill had a vision from the very beginning. He knew exactly what was going to either make or break Alcoholics Anonymous.

And, he knew not only for himself what was gonna be able to keep him sober, but but, he knew that this would be the crux of the deal. And, in this book, it's just stated over and over again that this is what has to happen. And, for the group as a whole, with these traditions as they set up, Again, one of one of the most important, because if if our group isn't doing that, then the group is gonna fail. And if the group fails, and the next alcoholic, you know, looks at the meeting schedule and says, oh, there's a meeting that night and they show up and there's nobody there, then what have we done? You know, so, my experience in this is to just continue showing up and being a vessel and being a part of this group and sponsoring the women that come into my life, sponsoring them straight from this book, and not from my opinion, and not from, from the Bible or different you know, not pulling any of that.

Coming straight out of this book, what was shown to me, so that they're gonna pass it on to the next and the next, which means AA as a whole is gonna be affected. And, again, got you know, what I said last night, what you guys are doing and what you've done is changing this world. And it it it kinda choked me up last night looking at the big scale of that that everyone in this room really understanding the primary purpose, in our meetings is going to affect so many people, you know. And I just, didn't do 15 minutes, but, I'm done. Thank you so much.

Hey, everybody. My name is Myers Raymer, and I am an alcoholic. This is just the coolest. You know, I got, you know, I it's a kind of a funny thing for me here. We talk a lot in a lot of different places, and I'm often caught off guard by by how much animosity and anger there is in a lot of the rooms that we talk in because there's a lot of middle of the roaders over here, and you've got this little group of big book guys over here, And the big book guys are just getting their teeth kicked in everywhere they go.

It may still be like that to some extent. But in this room, almost everybody I've talked to is dead on the page and already understands pretty clearly what their primary purpose is. There doesn't seem to be this this vast ignorance of the of the work that we we come across sometimes. And so it's kind of it's kind of blessed to be here in the middle of a room full of kindred spirits. And it feels it feels great.

It's then like I'm feeling I don't feel like I'm fighting this uphill battle? I have a question for the for the English men in the room. Do English women drive you to distraction like they do me? I just it's the way they talk that's doing it. And listen, I've never paid for phone sex, but but if I could pass out a few cards and have you guys call me, collect you women, just just over the next month or 2, every once in a while, just call.

Golly, it's just I can see getting off the airplane. I've got a woman under this arm and a woman under this arm. My wife's going to go, okay, we're going to have a lot of explaining to do here. Unreal. I want to thank Dave.

I guess Dave this morning and Chuck from last night that talked. There is something hugely powerful about a simple and clear message of recovery. And oftentimes we don't hear it in our meetings anymore. People get off into a bunch of weird, tangent stuff and this sort of thing. It's so funny sitting there identifying You guys are blessed to have those gentlemen in your midst.

They did a they did a great You guys are blessed to have those gentlemen in your midst. They did a they did a great job. Let's look. If you got your big book, and I know all of you do, don't tell me you didn't bring your flip back over to the long form of the, of the 5th tradition. I wanna read something again real quick.

Each Alcoholics Anonymous Group ought to be a spiritual entity, having but one primary purpose that of carrying its message to the alcoholic who still suffers. Incredibly clear, incredibly concise, and yet incredibly misunderstood by a whole bunch of people. You guys understand this stuff. You ever go into a lame discussion meeting sometime and you want to just kind of stir things up a little bit? Ask somebody at the beginning of a meeting, excuse me, is there anybody in here that can tell us what our bit, ask somebody at the beginning of a meeting, excuse me.

Is there anybody in here that can tell us what our primary purpose is? Let me tell you something. I don't know about here, but in the states, you'll have 20 people sitting around that little lane circle of discussion meeting junkies, and they're all looking at each other going, what's the guy talking about? What is he? What?

Nobody knows it's in the book and nobody understands what it is, even if they knew it was in the book because they're certainly not there to do that. They're there for other reasons and whatnot. No, I'm not judge. Well, yes, I am judging them, but judging you is what I do best, honest. Here.

So here's the deal. Look, turn back over your book. Look, go to the foreword to the first edition. You guys will get tired of this. I can't go to the bathroom without my big book.

It's just like, let me clarify this real quick and you'll, but the more you know me, the more you'll understand this. Left on my own devices, I'm a badly behaved drunk who says lots of very stupid things, and my arrogance and my ego is boundless. And I'll say all kinds of crazy things coming from self, thinking it's cool, or thinking I'm being funny, or thinking I'm And if I just shut up and have the big book here in front of me and I share from the big book, then I'm guarded. I'm protected against saying all those crazy, stupid things that I later have to go back and make an amends to. And, so that's why I do it.

Forward to the first edition. There's a paragraph at the top of this, and we start our meetings at the primary purpose group in in, Dallas, Texas, where I'm from. We don't use the grapevine preamble to start a meeting. We use this paragraph. We have Alcoholics Anonymous for more than 100 men and women who have recovered, there's that crazy word, from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered, there it is again, is the main purpose of this book. For them, we hope these pages will prove so convincing that no further authentication will be necessary. We think this account of our experiences will help everyone to better understand the alcoholic. Now many do not comprehend that the alcoholic is a very sick person. And besides, we are sure that our way of living has advantage for all.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They talk about recovered. They talk about they use these adjectives like precisely. They talk about experiences. These men that that that men and women that wrote this thing weren't coming from a pre a perspective of of opinion.

They weren't coming from a perspective of, well, I heard this in a meeting and it sounded pretty hip slick and cool, so I think that's what I'll use the next time I'm asked that question. They came from their experience. They had had a spiritual experience as a result of doing these this work. And as they recovered, they had something tangible to pass on to the new guy, you see? Now, here's the rub.

You see? Now, here's the rub. The big question always comes up was, why don't I want to carry a message of recovery? Either afraid to carry it. I could be just shy and I don't want to do it.

I think fear is a big part of it. Or I could be ambivalent and unclear what the message is I was supposed to be carrying. And we're gonna talk a lot about that at 5:5 o'clock or 3 o'clock or whenever I'm supposed to talk. But, we're going to get into a bunch of this stuff because these are the specific questions that each one of us have to ask ourselves. And it's sometimes it's real uncomfortable, especially some of you cats that have been around for a while, and you've gotten some years behind you.

Those questions become increasingly difficult to ask of yourself. Do I fully understand? Imagine my dismay at 7 years sober, when I'm sitting at a meeting and they're talking what sounds like Greek to me. They're talking about recovery. They're talking about, spiritual experience.

They're talking about these things, and I'm going, in all my years in A, we never talked about any this stuff. I can talk to you about how to find a job. I can talk to you about how to deal with some legal stuff. I can I can I've got pocketfuls of junior therapy crap I can spill on you about how to deal with all kinds of other stuff? But when we talk about these specific things of recovery and spiritual experience, how can I is is it it was just the weirdest deal?

1 night, we were talking and and I'm sitting in this deal and they start talking about a spiritual experience, and they talked about an experience that could be transmitted one man to another. And I'm thinking, Woah. Woah. Wait a minute. Somebody could really transmit this to somebody else?

And I'm thinking, well, it must be an isolated few that could do this. Great orators and some superb speakers that could make this all happen, and we could connect all the dots and make somebody whole. I didn't realize that my response I would come to find out in the weeks to come, in this group of big book thumpers that I fell into, that that all of this was possible. And more importantly, it was our responsibility. None of you guys were gonna dodge the responsibility.

I That's what I wanted to do. I wanted to keep my head real low under the radar, and sit there, and drink coffee, and look at women, and tell off color jokes, and and just be a schmuck. I'm not see, I'm not drinking, so I'm a winner. Right? It doesn't matter that I can't hold my home life together and my job sucks and I hate everything about my life.

None of this matters. I'm just not drinking. You guys understand this, right? Some of you guys have lived through this path and you know exactly what I'm talking about. And so it's so it was such a relief to finally have somebody talk to me about, about this thing in terms that I could understand in turn, and and they could show me page by page how I could have my own own personal experience in the work, and then I could pass on that personal experience to another busted up drunk that needed the help.

This is hugely powerful stuff. Go to step 12. We'll do one more of these little deals in the book just so you could see something and and, go to page 50, page 60. Excuse me. It'd be great if I could find it.

There it is. Look at step 12. If you see in Dallas, most groups don't encourage you to bring big books anymore. They just hang them on the wall, so nobody knows where anything is in the big book. So it's, it's a strange deal.

So, on page 60, step 12, 12, having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Great. Rolls off the tongue real fine. Every one of you in here understands this. But understand, the the big crux of what we're doing is right there in that first couple of sentences.

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, pretend that's a period there instead of a comma, alcoholics. What was the message that we were trying to carry to the alcoholic? That we'd had a spiritual experience as a result of the steps. So you got to ask the question. I mean, if you've known me for 5 minutes, you know that I'm going to ask a 1,000 questions, and I insist that you ask them too.

If we'd been asking questions 40 years ago, we wouldn't be in this crap hole we're in right now in terms of our fellowship. We'd be much, much healthier and much farther down the road. You see? Because we stopped asking hard questions. Am I a success?

Am I doing what I'm supposed to be doing? Are my guys benefiting from the message that they're getting? Blah, blah, blah. These are a 1,000 questions that we could ask. But that question has to be asked, have I had a spiritual experience as a result of doing this work?

Because if I haven't, guess what? I have nothing to carry to the new guy. And I know some of that some of you guys get real grindy about that. And you go, yes, I do. I have all my experiences.

Well, guess what? If your experiences aren't around your recovery, they're just experiences. Hell, I got experiences fly fishing in the in in in Montana. We can share those. I mean, it's just and I did quite often in those meetings.

I mean, it's just like, what has it got to do with anything? You see? We got a world full of drunks out there dying, absolutely dying, struggling to get a message, and yet they can't in most of our meetings, because we're too busy talking about horse crap we have no business talking about. We just need to get everybody focused back in again again and looking at that primary purpose. Okay.

So let me tie these loose loose ends up here in a second. See, the point of this is, is that once we have some clarity over why we're here, what Alicia was talking about, I'm not here anymore to be taking something from a meeting. Okay. Well, ask everybody this question. Okay?

And you you I I need to raise you. Raise your hand. No, you don't. I won't embarrass you. How many of you guys have ever said in the course of a day, I'm going nuts.

Man, I need to be at a meeting. Well, we all do. At one point in time, we say this kind of stuff. But the problem is, is that what happens is, is that we were takers when we were drunks, and we move into our meeting and we're still takers. We have not viewed and seen our primary purpose.

And so what we end up doing is just taking. I gotta be there so I can share my crappy day. I had words with my boss, and I can't wait to get to this meeting so I can tell everybody in my pathetic little circle of friends there how how bad my day was with this boss. It's not programmed, guys. It may be fun for you to dump that crap in a meeting, but it is not programmed and it does divert us from our primary purpose.

It is an outside issue that should not be in there. I know you need a place to share that stuff. We'll talk about it tonight too. But I it's called a sponsor. You go call that dude, you tell him I had a crappy day at work and my my my boss is a is the son of Satan and I hate his guts.

Tell him that. And if he's like me, if he's he's gonna say, listen, you arrogant little asshole. We have a great book. It's called the big book of Alcoholics anonymous, and you need to carry its message to a drunk today. Go do it.

And then all of a sudden, my boss is not such a bad guy anymore. You see? It's just that's how that stuff work. But there it is. So what comes from this stuff is, is that as we get into this stuff, there's more and more clarity around what our primary purpose is.

Today, when somebody asked me what my job is, I know exactly what it is. My job is to show up, make some coffee, set up a 1,000 chairs, it seems like, and and get ready for the onslaught. My meeting starts at 7:30 at night. I'm there at 4:30 in the morning, in the afternoon, getting ready for these guys. I'm I'm I'm telling you.

And my guys start coming in at 4:45, and it's just like take a number. And we talk, and we talk, and they share their crap, and all the other kind of stuff. And then we slide right up to 7:30. Tink. When that cowbell rings, there's a 180 people sitting in the room.

We're all studying the big book, and nobody is going to share a personal sharing. And if one scurvy dog says, well, in my case, I'll go stop right there. I love you to death, brother. But we're not going to do that during this meeting. We don't care what your personal opinion is about this work.

What we care is is what Bill and Bob and those first one hundred said about this work. I have to know. I have to be crystal clear on what this book says to me so that I can take that message. The book said it was 100% guaranteed. If I could carry this message in its entirety to another individual, that he was guaranteed recovery from this most deadly of diseases.

The only time I get into trouble is when I want to add and delete a bunch of stuff in this thing, because I think I have a better way. Guys, worldwide, collectively, we thought we had a better way to a point there. Now we've got success rates in the absolute toilet. Nobody is staying sober. And Alcoholics Anonymous has become the absolute butt of every joke in the entire world, and it drives me to distraction.

And frankly, I'm sick of it. Frankly, I want my fellowship back. Frankly, I want our successes to be back where they should have been for these last 30 or 40 years. And we can do that. We see it real easy.

The key, the secret handshake, if you will, is gonna be in sponsorship. Give me 5 minutes to do this, and then Chris could go ahead and close this up on this thing. We're going to talk about this some more this evening like this, but I've noticed this huge trend in Texas. I don't know about here, but, but people have begun to audit groups. They don't spend, they don't adhere to the deals of a home group.

There are so many meetings in our area, 1500 plus meetings a week in the Dallas Fort Worth area, 122 groups. And And they don't people don't adhere to home group stuff anymore. This guy, he'll go to one meeting one day, and another meeting the next day, and another meeting the next day. And There's some great girls at that meeting over there, so they'll go to that meeting for a midnight deal. And you never really feel like you belong anywhere.

There's no connection anywhere. And it's tragic. And people are starting to, we're starting to reap that, that, that, what happened with all this stuff. Because we trivialize to a huge extent the importance of sponsorship. I'll never make sweeping changes from a podium, nor will Chris, nor will Alicia, nor will any of the speakers that you've ever come in contact with.

These are great men and women, but we'll never make sweeping changes in AA. Where changes in AA are going to come from is one man sitting across the table from another drunk with a big book laying in between them. And one strong sponsor is going to carry a strong message of recovery to that man. And that man is gonna walk free and clear with a strong message to carry to the new guy. And that's how things will change.

And day by day, the old middle of the rotors and all the guys that want to fight and do all this crap, they'll all kind of slide to the wayside and we'll have this huge army of enthusiastic members of Alcoholics Anonymous walking lockstep through recovery. And it's going to be something powerful to see. You can already see it in certain areas. I've witnessed it here to a great extent this weekend at an amazing deal. I think you guys think I was kidding when I said before, like I spoke in a conference a couple of weeks ago, and it was a freaking blood bath.

The whole weekend was a blood bath. Every time I turned around, there was another person standing in front of me wanting to take an exception to what I was talking about. Another person want slap me down to the mat about something that and and I kept going, what Look, dude. Show me where it is in the book and I'll shut up. Show me where the contradiction is.

What I'm sharing you is a message that was carried to us 70 some odd years ago that still works perfectly today. When did we get so damn smart that we we had a better idea? You see? And yet it continued for the entire weekend. It was just just rocking chairs.

I keep thinking any moment somebody's going to slap me up the side of the head. It'll happen today. It'll happen good. I think they call it in the book leading with the chin. So far I've been embraced by nothing but solid and sound big book guys and gals who knew and loved what we were doing and knew and loved what that book shared as a message of recovery.

Too cool. Chris, come finish this up on this stuff, bud. Thanks. He's so rigid. My name is Chris Raymer.

I'm a grateful recovered alcoholic. I, I just celebrated 18 years a few weeks ago and, have not obsessed about alcohol in that length of time. And, I am so grateful for that. I, I'm also a drug addict and, I know we have some representatives of other fellowships in this room and, welcome. Yes, son of a guns.

Everything we say today applies to you too. So much to, on my mind, listening to Alicia and the guys that shared before, my dickhead brother. And, that's not cussing. I, what he said was so true. All we can share is our perspective.

And, and, and I'll talk in the morning and I'll make a make a point of doing a real strong disclaimer because I don't want anybody to think that we're trying to jam this down anybody's throat because we're not, you know, if if you're an alcoholic and you wanna get well, we have a way out of which we can absolutely agree, and and we can help you. And if you don't, you just wanna sit on the periphery, that's your right too. Where I get a little tweaky is when you think it's your right to come in and dilute the message. You know, I I I get cranky in meetings, when I see people come in and sit on the periphery, and they don't have a book, and they don't they don't they don't get involved. And then they relapse, and they say, well, should AA just didn't work.

You know? I I get even crankier when, I I get somebody that watch a little shaky when come in the door and, and really want to get sober and then get to sit in meetings and not ever hear the solution. And that makes me crazy. Absolutely crazy. I know in Texas, we spend a lot of time a lot of places I speak.

It's true. We spend a lot of time You know what walking on eggshells mean? You know, very gently tippy toe. We don't want to offend anybody. We don't want to scare it.

Don't talk about this God stuff too much. It'll it may offend someone. It may, you know, work. And it's like, okay. We have a solution.

It's God, but we're not going to talk about it. At all at all cost, I wanna be friends with you, you know. But I don't I don't wanna and that's what we do in our fellowships. We see it over and over. And I'll talk about it a bunch in the morning as it's it's it's, you know, somebody relapses and and, and our pat answers, well, they just didn't want it.

You know, buddy, what we have to ask the question is, did they hear the message that the first people in AA heard when our success rates Myers was talking about in 1955 when second edition of the big book was was published? You know, they they put the stats in the forwards. And, you know, we had a 75% success rate. I can guarantee you right now in the United States, it's less than 8%. Better doctors, better medication, better therapeutic techniques, better everything.

Why is our success rate so low? Why are we the butt of 50,000,000 jokes? Everybody wants to blame the treatment centers, and the treatment centers are a huge culprit. I work for a treatment center. I I I I am in the industry.

I I that. Treatment centers watered the message down to suit their own agenda. In hospitals, we have a tendency not to separate. It's all it's all addictive personalities. It's all it's all compulsive behavior.

It's not alcoholism and drug addiction. Alcoholism and drug addiction, although they have many similarities, it's different. Different. I've said it from a 1000000 podiums. You don't think it's different.

Sit down and listen to a fist step from an alcoholic and then go right next to the room and do a fist step from a crack addict. Damn. It's different. I believe in singleness of purpose. I belong to 2 fellowships.

There are 100 of fellowships out there. I believe in singleness of purpose. If I'm in an AA meeting, I don't introduce myself as a drug addict. I introduce myself as an alcoholic. When I'm in a in a meeting of CA, I introduce myself as a drug addict.

I don't separate myself from everybody else in the room with the ANDA. My sponsor my sponsor caught me doing that a few times, and he says, Chris, you a good sign painter? I says, no. I'm a shitty sign painter. He says, well, why don't you introduce yourself as a shitty sign painter too?

I mean, it's just Myers read the long version of the of the, our 5th, tradition, which are spiritual entity having one primary purpose. I was doing a talk at a at a deal in Austin one time and, tradition deal, and we were talking about the traditions. And and I read you know, we talked about it, and the little guy came up. He's and they introduced me. And this guy had 30 something years of sobriety.

And I was, you know, always interested in meeting the old timers. And he said, Chris, but you just made one mistake. The tradition says that we're supposed to stay sober and carry the message to the alcoholics who still excuse me. That's what our preamble talks about that came from a grapevine article. It's not the big book.

You see how subtle it is? We only got one job here, folks, and that's to carry the message to the newcomer. My job sitting in a meeting is to watch that back door and watch the little little scared guy walk through the door, and then I'm on him. If I'm not on him, one of my guys better be, or we're gonna have a discussion after the meeting. Makes sense?

That's just that's just the way it works. Book talks about middle of the road solution. Here's my grinder. And again, in the morning, I'm gonna hit it pretty hard because I don't wanna bloody anybody this morning, but it's jet lag. I'm not quite there yet, but I'll be on rear form tomorrow.

I can book talks about a thing called a middle of the road solution. You see? Now understand this. Alcoholics I suffer from alcoholism, not heavy drinking. Our treatment centers there's a great article.

I can get you all copies of it. A friend of mine named, Danny s, from the States, wrote it. And he and he makes a very, very great point. Treatment centers in the United States used to be we had there was a necessity of a thing called a certificate of need. In other words, if you wanted to open a treatment center in our country, you had to produce many, many documents in order to do that.

Your area had to need a treatment center. Well, they had lobbyists got involved. Insurance company started paying like slot machines. They were gonna make a bunch of money, so they started putting alcohol and drug, little riders on their insurance policies that would pay like slot machines. A lot of y'all come from countries where it's nationalized.

You can get treatment on demand. In the states, you can't. You've got to pay some bucks to get it. So, insurance companies were going to get rich putting these riders on these policies. And what happened was they, about 1970 6, they repealed the Hughes Act.

We could talk forever about it, but the long and short of it was they had treatment centers sprout up on every corner. Anybody with a little big book, sober a little while, they open a treatment center. Doctors, therapists, counsel, everybody got involved. And it was huge money. You can't imagine the money that was spent on treatment.

Every crappy insurance policy in the world had a rider on it. So if you went out on the weekend and drank, and somebody saw you, and they were concerned about your drinking, on Monday, the EPA would be at your office saying, it's time for you to go to treatment. And you would go to treatment. You with us? I mean, it was it's like we weren't out there looking for alcoholics to help.

We were out here looking for anybody that's It's like an industry. It's like an industry. It's like an industry. It's like an industry. Such a small percentage of us, 10, 15 percent in the world that are genetically wired alcoholics.

You can't make money on 10 or 15 percent of the world. You with us? It's like it's like it's like a diabetic like insulin for for diabetics. If I've got a new drug for diabetics, I've got a small percentage of people I can treat, can't get rich on it. But if I wanna treat sugar abuse I've seen some of you at the damn coffee bar.

We get a we we can help a whole bunch of people. All of this to say is that what happened was through the seventies eighties in our country, don't know about here, In our country, we got 1,000 upon 1,000 upon 1,000 upon 1,000 of members into our fellowship. Women are certainly good looking. Yes. Coffee good.

Fellowships, bar none, the best. They stayed. They were hard drinkers. My book says on page 34, If you can stay sober on a non spiritual basis, you're not one of us. If you can stay sober without working the steps, you're not one of us.

And I guarantee you, that's where we take the heat from the podium. Because when we start talking about this business, everybody gets real to it. I'm an alcoholic if I say I'm an alcoholic. No, you're not. I can think I'm John Travolta too, but it doesn't make me No, you're not.

No, you're not. If you can stay sober on a non spiritual basis, you're not one of us. If you could just come to the fellowship, sit in meetings, that's where they get the crap in the state. Meeting makers make it. Not my experience.

Not my experience. I'll share that more in the morning. My experience is meeting makers like me go gradually in sane. And then we make the ultimate decision. I'm either gonna shoot myself or go get a damn drink.

And that's what I do. And I make everybody around me miserable in the process. Meeting makers make it. Just don't drink. Don't we were laughing with some of the brothers yesterday.

We were talking about it. You know, this idea, you know, go to meetings and just don't drink between those meetings and you'll be. Y'all with me? Are you don't You're welcome. If you're a hard drinker and you want to come to our meetings, that's perfectly okay.

But this is the grinder and this is why Myers and I hit this thing, and Alicia to is the sponsorship business. Because it's my job to do the one thing that nobody did for me for 7 years. My experience 7 years in the fellowship could not stay sober. At the end of that 7 year period, I tried to commit suicide because I was just I'm a movie making fool and I can't get well because the meetings won't treat alcoholism. I know 100 of of men and women in this fellowship who've taken their own life sober.

Everybody in here knows somebody that's done that. The drinking didn't kill them. Alcoholism, the disease killed them. And that's going to be treated spiritually. Say that from the podium.