Sponsorship workshop in Austin, TX

Oh, y'all are good. That's just god dang. We were rushing through that stuff on step 11 stuff. Let let's do one little fast piece of housecleaning on this 11 step stuff that we didn't even cover, but but I don't know. How many of you guys that have been around for a good bit of time that are actively in involved in sponsorship notice that there's a direct correlation between the sick little unit and his his lack of 11 step stuff.

Uh-huh. I mean, it it just kinda and it's a funny kinda thing. We we know we understand prayer and meditation. We know we understand what we're supposed to do, and yet it's and yet when we when life looms large, as things get busy, what's the very first thing that we set aside? Yeah.

Prayer and meditation. We might catch this prayer or this prayer thing as we back out of the driveway in the morning. Oh, God, please help me to this day. Blah blah blah. And then we're off to the races, But meditation just gets it's just the red headed stepchild of of of the whole deal.

I agree. It's a funny thing that, you know, if if if you look at the correlation, step 3 that said we made this decision to turn our will and our lives over the care of the child. We understood it. What we're supposed to be getting our marching orders for what we're supposed to be doing is this quiet time with God in step 11 as we sit there and we were quiet with God. And so it it it goes without saying that I'm not so concerned about the new guy at this stage of the game as when we're working an older guy through the work.

These walking wounded that show up in our AA meetings that have been sober 15, 17, 20 years who are dying. They're just simply dying. They've gotten AA slick. They know all the little chicken chick one liners. They know all this other kind of stuff, and they just get they're just you guys see them.

Statistically, the largest single group of people in the United States that are killing themselves are people in 12 step recovery programs. People who are either not embraced the 12 steps as a solution to their problem or people who have just gotten AA slick and they're just kind of hanging on. That's me at 7 years sober. Crazy as I can be going to a whole bunch of meetings, hoping against hope that I can put enough effort into it for my meeting that I'll stay sober. When in reality, what what should have happened was, was that I should have looked quickly at what I was doing with the steps themselves, especially step 11, this deal of prayer and meditation.

You show me a sick guy, especially an older sick guy in AA, and I'll show you a guy that has begun to trivialize the effectiveness and the importance of of step 11 stuff. Let me make one suggestion. If prayer has gotten stale for you, if meditation has gotten stale for you, do something to make it special. It's like, I don't know if for some of you it will sound corny, but the the in the same way that if you had a if you had a chapel at your house, you would treat it more more special. You would treat it with more respect and more dignity and you would you would embrace it more.

Find some place in your house that's more that's that you can make special. I'm not Catholic. Years ago, my mom gave me a little rosary that some guy had given her and and she gave it to me. And it got to be really special. And I will not meditate in the morning without that little that little rosary there.

It took me years to figure out what it was all about and finally found some Catholic guy that knew and told me what it was. And so it's just a it's just a great little deal that I I just it was one of my very prized possessions. But it became special to take a moment of time to do this kind of stuff. You older guys that have kids, let me ask you a question. What is it more than anything in the world that you want from your kids?

Don't you wanna spend some time with them? Just spend some time. It's like my daughter's married now and she's out. She's she's, you know, doing her deal, and when she comes home, I just wanna I just wanna be in the same room with the little shit. I don't I don't we don't need to talk.

We don't even need I just need to be in the same room with her. And I think God's the same way. I think it's the same kind of feeling. I think it's that God you know, we we've come a long way in this thing from a busted up drunk doing all those crazy things that we did to this guy that's willing to be useful and and and do what God wants us to do, and I just simply think that God wants to spend time. And if you're spending, 3 seconds with him in the morning as you back out of the driveway, stop.

If you're surprised that life is getting stale again and that your program is getting flat again, look back at that and see what the deal is. The connection needs to be maintained and the greatest way I know to maintain it is just spend time with this loving God. Stillness, being stilled. He's not interested in hearing you flap your gums about nothing. He already knows what's going on on this stuff.

Be still. So with that in mind, let me mention one thing that is not AA related and is not big book related in any form or fashion. If you're having trouble meditating, meditating, the world is full and Austin is a freaking mecca of yoga instructors and people who can teach you without any religious connotations, without any religious connection, teach you how to meditate. You're you're fortunate. There are tons of instructors here that don't do anything, but teach students how to meditate.

So if you're not sure how to go find you one. It costs you it costs you $15 to go sit in a meditating class and have them show you some some practices that you can do and that you can hold sacred to you as you do this stuff. It'd be be a good deal. So with that in mind, we'll talk a little bit. Chris will flesh out some of that in a minute.

Let's let's talk a little do you wanna do that now? You wanna talk about the ladies. So guys, just real quick. Meditation build with all the guys I sponsor that are having trouble with that. Some are not, some are.

It takes discipline. It's something you gotta do on a regular basis. If you get you a little egg timer, preferably not the little cheap Walmart ones that go, chick chick chick. That's a little disconcerting. Spend the $10 to get you a little more expensive one.

They're little silent meditators. You know, little silent timers. Set it for 5 minutes. Set it down. You're with us?

Get in the chair. Don't lay down. You'll go to sleepy sleepy. Sit in the chair, uncross your legs, and then get and then just sit for 5 minutes. What'll happen is you'll discipline yourself to do that, and and it'll seem like that 5 minutes will seem like 15 minutes, 20 minutes.

It'll just seem like it'll go on forever. And if you do this every day, my experience was after I did it about 3 or 4 days, what happens is you'll set that timer. You'll click it. You'll get quiet like this. You'll start taking some deep breaths.

Mhmm. It goes off and it's like all of a sudden, it's like, what what hap it's it's broke. It's no. That couldn't possibly have been 5 minutes. Then set it up to 10 minutes.

Mhmm. 15 minutes, buddy. You're golden because you'll get quiet. And I guarantee you, you will we will come out of that absolutely refreshed with a click. And I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten guidance in those quiet moments.

Be still and know that I am God. That's what the other book says. That ain't in this book. But but some of you that, why do we work the steps, guys? We work the steps not to stay sober.

We work the steps to get a conscious contact with God. Right? Well, if we get a conscious contact with God, I mean, there's gotta be some communication going on. Right? I can guarantee you right now that God's trying to trying to scream direction in every one of y'all's ears.

And some of y'all are hearing it. And some of you, there's too much noise. There's too much shit going on. You gotta get away from it. Turn the TV off.

Get the stupid headset out of your ears. Got this little little MP 3 players are probably killing. More alcoholics and booze combined. It just get get rid of this stuff for just 15 minutes and get quiet with that. On page 164, there's a there's a a line in it.

It says, God will continually disclose more to you and us. Remember that line? If God's constantly disclosing more to you and us, why do we hear it? We don't hear it because we're too busy trying to be busy. Too busy going a 100 miles an hour, man.

Slow down. You know, it's funny. We've spent we've spent for most of us 20 or 30 years learning how to be busy. Learning how to go as fast as we can go. Learning learning how to pack everything we can into the day.

And in meditation, we're trying to unlearn all of that and it is a discipline. Chris was dead on on this stuff. It's a discipline that just takes some practice and some effort to do. It is not easy when you have a 1,000 things going on in your head and everything is quick. Somebody told me one time, said, Myers, you got a Grand Central Station head and every time a train comes in, you feel like you gotta get on it.

And it's true. How many times have you seen that stuff happen? Or you can't even stay on one thought because I'm and then I'm off over here talking about something else. It's just crazy. Slow that crap down, but don't resist it because the practice comes from not resisting it.

Yeah. You're getting quiet and somebody's slamming the car door out here, and all of a sudden you hear this bird out loud. It's just and don't don't go shoo the bird away. Just get quiet. Listen to it.

Just keep it's the discipline. And within a few, literally guys, a few days, you'll get to a spot. If you practice it diligently a couple times a day, I can assure you 2 or 3 days in, you'll those noises will deafen. And you'll get quiet, and you will get quiet. It but it takes practice.

Discipline. Yeah, buddy. All good there. Let's talk about here $15 of That's it. Time is for sale.

Let's let's talk about 12 step stuff real quick and it'll still give us a little bit of time. But then I'm dead. I'll just turn it over. The I came to talk about 12 step stuff. Every time I've ever done a talk, it all comes down to that stuff.

It's the most trivialized step in the big book. It's the most it's the thing that we ignore the most. It's just we're all all warm and fuzzy in our groups and we're all everybody's all pally wally and it's all good. And we always seem to forget. Let's let's read a couple things and it's gonna make it this this this clear, I think.

Look at page 60. Twelve steps to top page 60 or you can read it on the deal if you want to. Having a spiritual awakening is a result of these steps. We tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Let's bust down the first two lines of this because that's the ones we're really interested in.

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, pretend that comma is a period, we'll take that as one thought. We tried to carry this message to alcoholics. What was the message we were trying to carry the alcoholic? That we'd had a spiritual experience as a result of doing the step. You see what I'm saying?

Now, so as sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous, what's the first question we have to ask ourselves? Have we had a spiritual experience as a result of doing the steps? If we have, super. Go on to the next thing. If we haven't, why?

Let's let's do it. What kills me about this thing is is that and I understand it. The new guy comes in, works through the work, has a spiritual experience. The guy that I cry about, the guy that just tears my soul out, is the older guy that's been in the middle of the road meetings all these years who has some history here and who realizes that he has not had a spiritual experience or his arrogance says, I don't need to have this stinking experience. I'm okay here, and I've helped 100 of drugs.

First of all, let me make sure that we understand each other. I am I am so delighted that you're here and you are my hero because you stayed. I mean, you got hero status in my book automatically because you stayed. By the same token, it's kinda like having it's kinda like, I don't it's like it's like having guys that that go to a party and never dance. Mhmm.

You know? You can go to the party. It's okay, but if you never dance you missed the whole reason why you were at the dance. The fun part was getting out there acting a fool, dancing. You see what I'm saying?

And it's the same thing with 12 step work. It's like it's like, if you miss it, you miss the very best that the program has to offer offer. You miss the you miss the great parts, the the excitement, the people say I hear people all the time in the fellowship talking about being bored in AA and I'm going, bored? Bored? When we have miracle on top of miracle on top of miracle happening every day in front of us and you get you a whole slug of guys to be sponsored like that and watch how their lives change, buddy, it's the most amazing thing that you will ever see in your life.

And it is so far removed from boredom that I just can't even I just can't even imagine. At the beginning of this deal with Bill Wilson when he's in the hospital, in Towns Hospital, and he has this barn burning spiritual experience, and the next paragraph it talks about, I thought maybe what I could do is just carry this message to somebody else that they might have what I have. Right? And then Bill, Eddie comes to see him and they talk about this stuff a little bit and there's the genesis of Alcoholics Anonymous as we know it today. Now the funny part about it is, guys, if you'll pay attention when you're reading through the literature in this new big book study that you're going to do at home.

Right? Wink dink. The the What you're gonna see quickly is that they talk about this deal of 12 Step work over and over and over again. It's one of the most most repeated things in the big room. This deal of why we got sober in the first place.

I didn't get sober so I could have a happy life. Well maybe I did in the beginning of the thing. But once I got sober, if I was going to keep the stuff, I had to give the stuff away. And it didn't mean just going and sitting there and making coffee in my group. That's service work that makes 12 step work possible.

I hid behind that for years guys. I I make coffee in my group and so that's my 12 step work. That's your service work. It's no less important. It's super stuff, but it's what makes 12 step work possible.

Twelve step work is me sitting down with David knee to knee with a big book on my lap and a big book on his lap going through the work, watching the miracle take place, watching a transfer of information that only can come from a drunk that has been through that stuff. His counselor couldn't do it. His minister couldn't do it. His wife couldn't do it. I'm a busted up drunk in Kerrville, Texas, I could do it.

He could do it just like that. You see? And that's what we don't wanna miss. I'll tell you a fast story real quick. The the I've been sober now 8 years.

2 years with the Big Book Thumpers. Worked back to the work. Had my spiritual experience. I'm doing all this stuff. I'm going to the meetings.

I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, all this stuff. And but I'm not doing any 12 step work. I mean, I'm kinda I'm going with them when they go out to carry the message. I'm riding along with them and sitting there, but I'm not doing anything on my own. And and so we were sitting in a meeting one night and there's a whole bunch of people in the room and I'm kinda looking around the room like this and as as as the meeting draws to a close, I'm just looking in the eyes of the people in the room and I'm going, damn.

And I walked up to the crusty one after the meeting and I and I said, Hey, Cliff. What? I'm still different from y'all, aren't I? And he said, yep. You are.

I said, Cliff, I don't understand why. What is it that I don't have that you guys have? He said, willingness. Willingness to get off your lazy butt and go carry a message. And then I started into my canned speech.

It's like it's like I was one of those chatty Cathy dolls with one of them little rip throat things up the back like this. I'm pulling it like this and I'm going, but, Cliff, you don't understand. I have a business and I have $3 and I have all this other kind of stuff. And then I run out of steam and then I pull it again, and then I'm back off again like this. And I give him the whole 9 yards of why it is that I can't do the work, why I can't go out there and submit to somebody else.

The bottom line is I'm scared shitless. I don't wanna do the work because I'm afraid I'm gonna be a fool. I'm afraid I'll get up there and make an absolute idiot of myself. You see? This is a real possibility.

It's not a bad thought. I mean, it's I could understand why somebody would think it. Clint says, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do, Myers. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna make one more suggestion. I'm gonna give you a place to go and then you either go or you go away.

And I said, you mean go away to the next meeting? And he says, no. No. No. I mean go away.

Go away. See why I called him the crusty one? I'm going, Cliff, where's the love, brother? I mean, you told me to go we were warm and fuzzy and now you're kicking my ass out? And he goes, Byers, I can't stand to see it.

You'll go like this for a while until life looms large and then you're going to be trouble out there. You're just not going to make it. You may be okay, you may be sober, but you'll never be as happy as you want to be. And what you're seeing in the eyes of the people that are in your group is happiness. You're seeing real joy in doing what they know to do.

Alright. Great. Okay. So it's exactly what I do. He says, Mars, tomorrow night I don't want you to go out to Salvation Army.

Oh, I hate the Salvation Army. Army. There's a 1,000 places Christians could have sent me that he knew. Anyway, I go out there I go out there the next night. I'm thinking there's gonna be some other, some of our guys out there.

There's nobody but me. You know, we've got 80 or 90 guys in this thing. 80 or 90 black men all sitting here just like this with their arms crossed and sunglasses on, sitting there looking at me. And I'm going and I'll tell you, I just, God, please, please kill me or fix me when I'm I'm doomed. And I stand up and I get my big book and we go through this this stuff.

Just literature based stuff. We start reading through the deal. We get done with this meeting, and we're all circled up at the end of this deal and they're all holding my hand and we get done with the Lord's prayer and I let go of my hand, but they don't let go of my hand. And I'm going, Oh, this is where they hit me. And I'm just I'm just like I'm just like petrified.

I'm just going, Oh, no. Like, this guy is, like, crushing my hand. He's just, like, holding on to me and I'm going and the guy across the room over there says, can I can I ask you a question? And I said, yes, sir. And he goes, any chance you could come back out here?

And I went, yeah. Yeah. I get in the car, hit the crusty one. Hey. You won't believe what just happened.

And that started it. And I was like an animal, guys. I mean, I I was mister Salvation Army. I was out there. So every time every time that if there was an opportunity for me to be out there, I'd be just standing there like this and I'd walk in.

So the next night I'm out there. Right? I'm passing the initial shyness and I'm walking out just praying and praying and praying that it's gonna be the same way. And I walk in and this black man that's this tall and this broad walks right up to me and he he crosses my space first. I mean, he's he's already passed my little thumb like this and he grabs me and he hugs me.

And my face that's around me. Like, it's just tearing in this black man's chest, and I'm telling you and he squeezes me so hard I go and you can hear my back popping. I thought it felt pretty good. If he's gonna kill me, I'll at least be happy. It was an amazing deal.

And there was I have a hard time explaining it these days. It's just there wasn't a love coming from that guy. I've never met him before and I only saw him there 2 or 3 times after that. But I'm telling you, the man, he said, bud, the stuff that you shared is really good. We've never heard it before.

We're really grateful that you're here. And I'm thinking, shit. You know, we let go hands that night and had 2 or 3 guys saying, hey. Can you sponsor me? And I'm off to the races.

6 or 7 weeks later, they opened up this gig out of Homer Bound, and we've been out there 13 years doing that thing. Members of our group have sponsored thousands of men and women out of that out of out of Homer Bound. It's just an amazing deal. And my life began to change. All the crap that was happening and going on, all the judgmental stuff went south and all the other stuff that was just.

It's like nobody ever told me that if I would submit to the process of 12 step work that everything else oh, they say it. Rhetorically, they say it. Your life will get better. But until you've experienced what it's like to give of yourself in an HNI meeting or someplace else like this and you do it, most of you guys are shaking your head like this because you know exactly what I'm what I'm talking about. But God, let me tell you, there are thousands of us, thousands of us in AA and NA and CA who've never experienced this, who've never experienced what it's like to leave the comfort of our of our group, walk out, and submit to a process of carrying a clear cut message to somebody that's out there that need to do the deal.

The book was real clear that that's what we were supposed to do. It would they they didn't leave us any room. There was no fudge factor. It's not the other guy's responsibility. It's your responsibility.

And then one more thing and I'll shut up. That, there is this piece of arrogance in me that thinks that, there are good 12 steppers and bad 12 steppers. And I always bought into the bad 12 stepping deal that I would never be affected with anything. I truthfully, honestly thought that I would never be able to sponsor a man effectively and certainly never carry a message from any kind of podium that would have any effect on anybody. Every one of us Chris and I were laughing about this stuff one day.

We were sharing a podium with the guys in another group and they were talking about stuff, and there's this little squirrely bastard that's up there with us and he's kinda like just just I don't know where his head's at, but, I mean, he's just kind of a weird little whacked out guy. And after the meeting, I'm standing there thinking some guy's gonna come up and talk to me after the meeting and I'm standing like this, Chris is standing over like this. And these guys these these guys out there knocked us away to get to this little guy. And there's just this connection. Whatever he said, I don't know what it was, but whatever he said, they made the connection.

And it was a a sight to behold and there was there was magic in the air and it had nothing to do with Myers Raymer. And it was the weirdest deal. I'm going, wait, gosh. What's going on, man? Where's my love?

I mean, I just you see what I'm saying? This is about everybody that's here. There's nobody here that's that's that's that's gets written out of the equation. If you drew a sober breath today, you have a responsibility to carry a message to a drunk tomorrow. Amen.

It's that simple. It has nothing to do with how long you've been sober. It has nothing to could a guy could a guy a week sober sponsor somebody? I think that's foolhardy. I don't think that's possible, at least not in my experience.

Could a guy a week sober go gather a newcomer up and take him to a meeting? You bet. Could he go make some coffee and show him where the can is and help him figure out where to smoke a cigarette butt? Sure. You bet he could.

Could he help him understand in a quiet way that he could get up tomorrow and not drink and obsess about the drugs and stuff? Sure he could. Sure he could. This is classic 12 step work line. It's very core level as it needs to be.

I sponsored tons of guys today, guys that are really young and they're really, really active. Really active. And it blows me away how good they are. Buddy, let me tell you something. With my daughter, the one that's heading this direction when she comes in here, I'm not sure that I'll seek out an old crusty guy that's worked with her.

I'm gonna seek out one of them little young bucks that I got. They are so full of fire and piss and vinegar. They know the work. They've had a spiritual experience, and they are clear to the core what their primary purpose is. Clear to the core.

Tradition 5 says it. We need to read it. We need to believe it. We need to understand it on a gut level. There is no other reason to be in a meeting other than that.

One more thing and I'm done. This little piece of whose responsibility came out of, a letter that Bill wrote in 1966. Listen to this. An AA group as such cannot take on all the personal problems of its members, let alone those of non alcoholics in the world around us. The AA group is not, for example, a mediator of domestic relations nor does it furnish personal financial aid to anyone.

Although a member may sometimes be helped in such matters by his friends at AA, the primary responsibility for the solution of all his problems of living and growing rests squarely upon the individual himself. Should an AA attempt this sort of help, its effectiveness and energies would be hopelessly dissipated. Now here it is, the last paragraph. This is why sobriety, freedom from alcohol, through the teaching and practice of AA's 12 steps is the sole purpose of the group. If we don't stick to this part of principle, we shall almost certainly collapse.

And if we collapse, we cannot help anyone. It doesn't get much clearer about what our purpose is. We come, we sober up, and we go help a drunk. That's it. The rest of the stuff is just sort of where it is.

Okay? Thank you. So so we wanna make a distinction between working with others and sponsorship. Y'all are y'all clear? Pretty clear what Myers just read?

Anybody book says on 13, 14, 14, bottom 15, I think is where it is. It says we gotta work with others or we can't grow spiritually. Doesn't say we gotta sponsor. Work with others can be sponsorship, but working with others, page 129, it says, we read it the other day when we were in here. Even if he displays a certain amount of neglect and irresponsibility towards his family, it is well to let him go as far as he likes in helping other alcoholics.

During those first first days of convalescence, this will do more to ensure his sobriety than anything else. You with us? Do you know some of you guys in here that are having trouble staying sober? Go work with somebody else. Go come to the next meeting not with a mindset of, I hope I hear something good today that will fix me, but what can you do today to help somebody else?

And it'll you'll get a shift and you'll start staying sober. It's been my experience. Y'all cool with that? Sponsorship. If you haven't worked the 12 steps, you can't sponsor.

It's just that simple. Hurry. Finish the steps because we need your help. And that's the crystal clear piece. This little article I've read since 2000 when I we got it.

It came out in in in that in 2002 in 2,002 in New York, intergroup's, what do they call it? Fox 459. Yeah. The most frustrating thing about answering intergroup's phones this is from the it says from Bob Arr, manager of the intergroup association in New York City. He's finding an AA member willing to take a 12 step call for some sick guy sick alcoholic.

Think alcoholic who has phoned this for him. This is in New York, home of AA. This guy is saying the hardest thing is to find somebody willing to do a 12 step call. Sometimes it takes up to 20 calls to identify just one willing volunteer. Some of the responses we hear when a live member actually does answer the phone what's a 12 step call?

How do you get a phone how did you get my phone number? Do you mean you actually want me to go talk to someone who's still drinking? The saddest response came from a member who exclaimed, no. I can't do it. I'm busy all day.

Today today is my sobriety anniversary. I mean, oh, I thought I was saying the wrong thing. You know? That's what gratitude's all about. Guys, you know, some of y'all read, m Scott's m Scott Peck's book Road Less Traveled?

Yeah. And and y'all know what the road less traveled is. If you haven't read the book, I'll just tell you. It's the spiritual path. The road less traveled is the spiritual path.

Why? And the Bible clearly explains it. It's because it's a pain in the ass to find and it's a bear to stay on it. With it, it takes effort. Effort.

This is why Myers and I are coming over here. We're not doing it because certainly not for the money or anything. We're doing it because we we want more people in the fellowship excited about recovery. Somebody said it a minute ago, you know, Tim was talking about it. You know, the so many people in the fellowship, who are just not happy.

The reason is is because they've missed the whole thing because they won't do this 12 step work. They don't understand their primary purpose of why they're here because, I mean, who wouldn't get bored, guys? If this is just about staying sober, well, what the hell? After a year of staying sober, now what? For the rest of your life, you know, you gotta keep doing the same thing so you can say so.

That that's not it. It's so that we can turn around and give back to the fellowship. Y'all heard me most of y'all from, like, a bazillion podiums talking about it. Until you've done, you'll never know how good it feels. All I ever wanted I remember sitting out behind our house on Derek Kurville, and and I was young.

I was 13, 14 years old, and I remember crying. I was out by myself and and lighting bugs out flying. You know? I was just I was alone and I was afraid. The spiritual malady was already kicking my butt.

I was 3 years away from my first drink, but I and I already felt irritable restless and discontent and disconnected from the world. And I remember sitting at that picnic table by myself saying, god, all I wanna do is feel useful. I now the if I could say the prayer again, it would be, god, I wanna feel useful and be rich. That was not the prayer that I said when I was 13 or 14. I said, I I I wanna feel useful because I knew even at that young age that that was what would make the difference in my life.

It ain't how much money you got in your pocket, guys. It ain't how it could be the car you got sitting in the parking lot. It's it's it's can you feel useful? Every therapeutic discipline that I've ever studied, coming from treatment center experiences, folks, talks about conflicted conflicted belief systems. If I'm saying one thing and I'm doing another, I'm I'm I'm gonna have conflict in my life.

Makes sense? When when you don't pay your credit card bills, guys, you that discomfort is not being in debt. The discomfort is the dishonesty for not paying your credit card bill. Would y'all agree with that? That's what the 12 steps did was get me connected spiritually so that I could feel comfortable in my skin again.

I wanted to keep that. When I got that spiritual experience and I started feeling better, and the old guys kept saying, Chris, the only way to keep it is to give it away. You've gotta get on the firing line. I don't spend a whole lot of time at jitter joints doing 12 step calls like we were talking about with the lady in the back because I have my phone rings 247. I introduce myself from the podium with my last name.

Everybody knows where I'm from. You're with it? I get hundreds of emails. I have plenty on my plate. But I watch thousands of people in our fellowship getting bored with this this this whole deal because they won't make their selves available to other people that need help.

It's not that you can't. It's that you won't because it takes a little effort. And I and I hope I hope what we've cleared up today is that that this doesn't have to be this long arduous huge chore. It's something to just to do. I sponsor 17 guys now, I think, 8 local.

A lot of the guys I sponsor have been sober a period of time, and I'm doing it long distance sponsorship. I don't agree in early surprises sponsoring anybody long distance. I wanna sit in a meeting with my buddy, Bill, and look him in the eye. I can tell this guy, I've known him for years, been the sponsor for a while. I can look at him and tell you in 2 minutes if he's okay or not.

You with us? I just listened to him, talked with him, and I know where he's at because I know him well. You'll you'll follow? You're good. It's that's a good thing, folks.

I don't sponsor 17 guys all at once. We we take them through gradually. I I work a couple through at a time, and then they go out and they're working with others. I don't have to spend just like Myers said, now they're walking. Now they're they're on their own now.

If they have some trouble, they can call me, and I'll help them guide them. But I don't they don't need my folks' attention. Just the 2 I'm working with, and then they move on and they move on. And that's why I've sponsored 100 of men. You'll follow?

Doctor Bob, cofounder of Alpha Epsilon, has sponsored over 5,000 people in 15 years. You do the math. We don't take these guys on to raise, folks. Stop doing it. You're setting yourself up.

If you set yourself up to do that, you are wrong. I and I noticed I'll end this with all this controversial stuff I'm saying right now, and you can go take my inventory after you leave here. My sponsor treated me just with that guy. I love every guy I sponsor, but I know who's got the answer to their problems. And it ain't Chris Wagner.

It's God. It's God. You with us? You don't have to take these cats on to raise. I don't want a I don't want a sponsee.

The only time I hear from them is when their ass is falling off. Most of us in this room, I know I know a lot of you, and a lot of you guys are sponsoring people. I know I know what you're doing. Think about the 1 guy. You don't even have to think hard because it'll pop right in your mind.

The biggest pain in the ass you're sponsoring. You got them in your head? Yeah. Yeah. And we spend 90% of our time working with that Bozo.

Make sense? Yeah. And we spend less time working with it. Listen. We need to stop that.

We need to stop that. Humility. 12 and 12 does a great job in talking about this thing called humility. That's the one thing I'll give that that that book is the science and the traditions. It's on 6 and 7 when they talk about humility.

Humility is knowing where God's power comes from, folks. And that's what it's about. God directs us. And we take these people out to raise it. You can't date anybody for the 1st year you're sober.

Let me let me see if I can find that real quick. Okay. I'm not knocking that. I think it's a good idea to stay focused on this on what you're doing, the steps. I don't I don't encourage that, but I'm not gonna say that they can't do it.

You're just gonna do exactly what the book tells me to do. Do you follow us? We we hear all of this cockamamie stuff out here. It's people's opinions, and it may work right for you, And it may push the other person completely away from this fellowship. You with it?

I don't have to do that much with the guys that are really motivated to get sober. I just lead them. Pull them with the vision. Keep them excited and guarantee get them involved in service work as quick as possible. And the rest, it's like it it just it just takes place.

It's not that difficult. The problem that we're having is we've got way too many people sitting on the fucking sidelines, gradually getting more depressed by the day, leaving the fellowships, in and out, in and out, in and out because you won't pick up the tools and start sponsored. Got it. There ain't nobody in this room, not a soul in this room. Psychiatric disorders included.

That's more shy than me. Painfully shy. Unless I'm doing this, you will never see me talk about about anything else on earth other than I drive Patty crazy. You know, one line answers, one sentence, one word. Yes, no, maybe, later.

But I just I just I'm I'm pretty introverted. I love to be by myself. I I isolate. I I have I have a hard time with that, guys. I have to push myself to get out just like so many of y'all, but you but we have to do it.

We've been we've been covered and been given the power to help others. I've said it from a million podiums. Everybody's sitting around waiting for the doctors to come up with a pill that affects them. Everybody's waiting for the treatment centers to come up with a new solution to treat everybody. It ain't it ain't it ain't happening.

The only solution for alcoholism and drug addiction, as we know, is a spiritual experience as a result of work in the critical mass of alcoholic phenomenon in whatever fellowship you're a part of. The problem is we don't have enough people relaying that message. Our job is to relay that message. Don't we're all clear. Right?

Yeah. Yeah. Instead of you don't wanna do that, that's fine. But you get to reap the rewards. Action over here causes a reaction over here.

I I I just I just it it's a spiritual principle that I just can't get my mind around And you will never understand it until you do it. Right. You're gonna tell me if I go work with others, that my financial problems will be taken care of. Yes, asshole. Based on my experience, I didn't say you can get rich.

I said your financial situation will be taken care of. That's my experience. That's my you with it? If I could fix all this myself, why the hell would I need God? Why would I have left on my own devices that screw everything up?

But it's about it's about working with others. And I'm over here steady doing this, and God's steady over here taking care of this. And that's my experience. Y'all cool with that? No.

We are very cool. I know a bunch of you guys some of the stuff we went real quick, we wanna we wanna spend time here with question and answer. We wanna try to keep it as focused to the 12, excuse me, sponsorship as we can. I wanna repeat myself. Guys, I don't care how you work the steps with your guys.