Jeff W. from Los Angeles, CA, one of the original 100 AA's, speaking in Sacramento, CA

Well, it's a real pleasure to be here tonight. I kinda had a hell of a day today. You know, I woke up this I woke up this morning, and, I kind of take an interest in shovel board. I'm kinda semi retired. I'm over here in a capacity adviser, compressor with the company I work for in New York.

It came down about 7, 8 years ago. And during that time, I I kinda joined the shovel board in, Pasadena, where my home is now. And, I the wife and I have become pretty good. So they invited a, a team to come in from Long Beach and play us. So I got up early this morning, and the wife and I went down.

We knocked the hell out of them. And then I rushed home and changed, and then I rushed in the car and rushed over to the international airport through all the fog and smog it down in Los Angeles. And when I got to the airport, they told me the plane wouldn't be pulling out for another 40 minutes because it was having a hell of a time getting into the airport. So after sitting there a while, I eventually caught the jet. And I arrived there at first 12.

And a good, friend of mine, Matty, was there to meet me and another good friend bring me out for dinner. And, here I am after a real busy day. And I think it was worthwhile when I look around the nice people here tonight. You know, I'm a Scotchman. And, my name, of course, I'm an alcoholic.

And my name is Jeff Watson. Now, all of a sudden, hello, Jeff. That's the boys. And, I bought Scotland. The wife was born in Scotland too.

God bless her. And you know, I found as I, kind of progressed through the different stages of becoming an acute alcoholic, I I kind of become more and more irresponsible with my money. And, when a Scotsman tells you that, you can rest assured his life has become unmanageable. You know all this drinking? I was quite willing to sacrifice the love of a good wife and family, as long as I could keep on drinking.

It reached the stage, of course, where she had to go out of work and try and keep the house together. And while, she was out, I'd be desperate for a good dollar, and I'd take anything out the house and sell it to get a drink and stuff like that. And it eventually reached the stage, of course. The wife couldn't see anything in the future for her, the family. This life couldn't go on.

We lived in Brooklyn then in New York, and she dragged me to court in 4th Avenue on 64th Street there in Brooklyn. And the little Italian judge in those early years, we're sitting up on the bench, and he'd listen to the wife, how I used to bring smokies in, drink smoke, and all this kind of stuff. And then he'd asked me if I had anything to say, and, of course, I couldn't say anything against what she had said. And then he tell me, well, if you go near that house, when you leave this court, I'll put you away for 6 months. I'd have no money.

I'd have nowhere to turn. I didn't know what to do. She'd got one door of the courtroom, and I'd got the other. And that it didn't happen before, of course. And at a time like that, I used to make for the smoky, what we call New York smoky.

Those are buddies, the 9 of us, when we're all down and out up against out of the house, we'd get together and we'd get along Fourth Avenue in Brooklyn. The subway is there, and we'd panhandle a little while. So we get about 30 or 40¢ between us, and then we'd make for the hardware store and get the denatured alcohol. It's used for removing, you know, paint our furniture. And then we'd get behind the garage and go through the mysterious ritual of making the mix.

And then in there, if it was in the summer, we'd get into leaf hurts and park down there, and there, the 8 or 9 of us would be sitting on the grass and interrupted only by invigorating snorts of this smoke. We discussed it greatly, Len. What the hell was the matter with the government, and when were they gonna do something for the working men? I'd hang out with that gang. We'd hang out.

We'd get down to Baru. We'd get down to Sally's. We'd get around the mission. We'd dispose of anything we had on that we could sell, and then instead of an old shirt, an old pair of pants, old shoes on. We'd sleep any place we could.

We'd get in a salve once in a while. God bless the Salvation Army. They give us a good night's sleep once in a while. The only time was you had to be saved every night before you could get asleep, And I'd hang out with that guy for a number of days till eventually I'd reach a stage of just on the edge of going nuts. I'd be sitting in the gutter, on the curb, talking to myself, all shirt, pants, ridiculed by a kid, pedestrians passing me in this this stained kind of idea.

Those early years, that's what the alcoholic got when he reached a stage like that. And I'll be sitting there. Eventually, I'll be picked up by the cops. And what had happened in Brooklyn, it slapped me into the King's County, and what had happened in New York, I'd be slapped into Bellevue. We'll draw a veil over the hospital, a jacket for 4 or 5 days, and then being there for 4 or 5 weeks, but they're coming out the hospital.

And they all they'll always give you the old stuff that they pick you up in. I'd style old pants, old shirt, and not a feeling of loneliness. Feeling of self condemnation, full of remorse. My brain was cleared up a little bit. I didn't know which way to turn.

I didn't know what to do, where to go, or what to do. And I had one question in my mind. Why the hell am I in this predicament again when I swore last time? I'd never get like this. Why?

Why? I had no answer, ladies and gentlemen. I had no answer. I'd start thinking to the wife at home. How can I get home?

God, how can I get home? God, I'll never touch this stuff again. I'm through this time. God help me. I meant it.

And with that thought in mind and the hope that somehow I'd be able to get home somehow, I'd shovel off and get a job around the diners, dishwashing. And my god, if any profession should be marked unfinished business, it's lousy dishwashing. And I'd say that a few dollars a day are made not in this half door, mine and mine that I'd never get home for quite drinking. And I'd save those few dollars until I got on a decent front. And the company I worked for was a salesman, and it had been always there.

I had a dreadless start ringing the tummy to get the hell out of there, and come back when I was sobered up. And I get back to the company, and tell them never again, never again. And I'll get started in. And I don't know, we, alcoholics, some other, if we're on the beam, we have certain gifts. But in a very short term, I'd be producing with the best of them.

And then I'd contact the wife. Be be, let me come home. Let me give me a chance to be responsible for you and the kids in the home. You don't know what all your life gone through these last few months. Give me a chance to come home, b.

And that good wife would listen to me, And then God help me, I'd have to listen to her. And then, all right, Jeff. We'll try it again. We'll try it again. And I get home.

Goddamn. Clean white cheese. Good food. This is the life. No more goddamn drinking for me.

This is the life. But I found I found, ladies and gentlemen, what many of us experienced those 1st year or 2 were in AA. Some of us experienced this feeling the 1st 4 or 5 years were in AA. I found when I was home for a month or so, I began to get irritable and nervous. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me.

I did not realize that this was the symptoms of this darn, dog garlic disease again. I had to get home out of the subway and get home, and Rudy Valle was in great form those days on the radio. The kids would be doing their homework, and he'd be hauling his brains out. I'd be walking around. And I'd go over the kids.

Will you tell me how you're able to concentrate on this homework stuff and this guy hauling his brains out? And then the wife, why don't you leave the kids alone, Jeff? And why the hell don't you shut up? I know what I want. I can get a couple of drinks.

I could study down. That's just 2 drinks. Study down. Get over this damn nervous. I don't know any of those days.

Without my knowledge, get out the hall. The tavern was at the top of the street in Brooklyn. I'm not gonna talk to nobody. I see these guys coming in the tavern every night from the subway there when I'm drinking. They come in there, they get their 1 or 2 drinks, and they go home, and that's it.

That's the way I'm gonna be. Yeah. Right. I'm not gonna talk to nobody. When I had money, I always took a bottle of makeup, whiskey, and a beer, chaser.

I'm gonna have 2 out. And I'd get in there, and I'd get the first one. And I was there, the big mirrors at the back of the counters and those Brooklyn taverns just looking at them, and I'd take the second one. God damn it. I was getting better looking.

And then I woke up. I felt better. I've cooled down. I'd apologized to wife when I got home. Apologize to the kid.

Now that's the way to drink. Now I'm at night lying in bed, I think to myself, but tomorrow night, instead of coming home irritable, I'll make for the gin milk first and get cooled on and come home nice. And I'd get in there right off the subway at 5 or 5:30. I have the first one. I'm only gonna take 2, then order the second one, and then the sneaky look along the corner, and then the recognition of a neighbor or somebody.

Hello, Jeff. Hello, Bob. What the hell his name was? You have a drink, Bob? Yeah.

I'll have a drink. Give him a drink. Yeah? I'm still on my second one. Oh, he get this drink, and I'll finish mine.

And I'm walk gonna walk out. This happens some money time. And just I'm walking out, Bob, what his name is. Hey, Jeff. What the hell is the matter?

Can't you have a drink with me? I had one with you. What are you rushing home for? Whenever one was mean, if there's anything Scotchman canned or a fuse at something for nothing, goddamn it. And I'd get the other drink.

Well, you know the story. They're waking up in the morning. I'm in the dog house. I'm sleeping alone. I still got my shoes on.

Who the hell brought me home? What time is it? What time did I get home? God, I gotta have a drink. I'm dying.

Jesus Christ. I gotta have a drink. What time is it? Are you open yet? No thought of the wife and the kids.

The knowledge, yeah, it is all over again. All over the drink. I better get straightened out. Rushing up to the tavern to get straightened out, the lemon sours and junk. Another day and another day, and then the old stuff again.

Again, the court, again, the ordering out the house, again, the smoking, again, the picking up of the cops and slapping in the hospital, Again, outside the hospital with the same question, why? Why am I again like this? I have no answer. No answer, ladies and gentlemen. And one morning on Third Avenue in Brooklyn coming out of a fleabag You know what a flea bag is?

Whatever chicken wired. Oh, largely, largely, they are too. I'm unshaved and filthy. I've been on a terrific tear, and I had no money. And I'm coming out of this place, wondering what the hell am I doing?

I'm dying. I've been drinking. And I had a voice say to me, hello, Jeff. Looking up, I recognized the guy who worked in a different department when I worked. Jean.

And he said to me, what are you doing with yourself, Jeff? I don't shave. I was poofy. Right down and out. I said, I don't know, Jean.

I'm sick. I was like this. I was all shaking. Would you come on, get in the car, take it down the house for me? Oh, thank God.

There's a man who owes me. He's gonna give me a drink. God. Thank god. And, anyway, if I don't get a drink, I'll touch him up for $2, drunk.

He give me an economy, takes me down to his house, and his wife opened the door. And he said, do I want you to meet mister Watson, my dear, and you put a hand out. And she said, I'm awfully glad to know you, mister mister Watson. I hadn't been called mister Watson for quite a time, and I didn't understand it then. But I understood it later that here was sympathetic understanding.

And we got in the house, and we sat down. And I'm waiting at Gene coming out with a bottle. What the hell do you think Gene said to me? Jeff, would you like a bath? If there was anything I didn't wanna see in shape or form was water, but they asked me to sit in it.

And you know when you're in the sitting nose like that, you can't put your leg over the pretty bathtub on one leg, you'd break your neck. You all know that. I know that man got me in the bathtub. And he he bathe me, that guy. The socks were sticking to my feet.

Then he had me sit on the side of that tub in a nude and try and shave me. And then he give me one of his shirts. Poor Jean. God rest his soul. He was 6 foot 1, and when he give me a shirt, you think I had on a kimono, but Jesus.

And he said, Jeff, I want you to get back in the car. I said, I don't want I don't I'm gonna get I was sick when I went in, but I was a hell of a lot sick, and now I have to go through all this. Dean, I can't go back in that car. I'm too sick. I'm too nervous.

I had no other they said, well, just going over the bridge in New York won't take long. He said, I wanna take you to some place. But again, you know, with the wife always bawling me out the little shit on me drinking, I figured, well, if he wants to drink outside, she's scared, I guess. I got back in the car. And as we're going over Brooklyn Bridge, he started to talk about some little thing that had just started by the name of Alcoholics Anonymous.

That had disused Mission Over 39th Street in New York, and that was where he was taking me. And he started trying to tell me that one time he he was in a pretty bad state, and he'd been thrown out the house. I couldn't grasp what he was trying to get at. In my head, I knew, I knew if I didn't get a drink pretty soon, I'd gone to Iraq. Anyway, he got me over this little this huge mission we're using, and he said there'll be a couple of guys there, and he'd have to get back to the office.

He'd be back around 5 o'clock that night to see me again. And sure enough, when we got up there, there were a couple of guys sitting around, and they started talking to me, and, they knew I was going to rest. I I couldn't figure what the hell I was saying. I was answering it random, I guess. And they took me down to Bellevue.

I was in there 5 or 6 weeks during which time Jean visited me. While my head began to clear up, it began to grasp 1 or 2 of the things that Gene was trying to convey to me. And this time when I come out, I had a place to go to, A little disused mission on 39th Street, New York. And I made for there. And that night was the end of 1938, I attended my first meeting.

And after the meeting, one night, a few of the cover a couple of covers. The rest of the boys, about 24 of us or so there. And Jean said, what do you think of the mean? What do you think of the meeting, Jeff? I said, listen, Jean.

These these guys all drink. He says, every one of these guys can match any experience you've gone through, and some of them have gone through worse. Jeff? And I said, what the hell are y'all so happy about? You want me to be like these guys, Gene?

You know I got no place to sleep tonight. I'd ask and go back to the wife of the family. I don't think I'll ever get back started with a company again. I owe money all over Brooklyn. I don't know which way to do or what to do.

And you want me to be like these guys, Gene? Chappy. Nice. If you had $5 in your pocket, now you'd go out and get drunk again. Again, you wanna hide yourself behind your wall of alcoholism, kill your own conscience, and let the rest of the world go by.

Where's it ever got you, Jeff? Listen. Listen, Jeff. Come on along with us. Put your arm in ours, and we'll try and show you the new way of life we're beginning to find.

Listen, you've only got one problem, Jeff. All these problems that you see ahead of you that you think are insurmountable in time in time, Jeff, they'll fade away. We've only got one problem. Keep off the first drink. 1 is 1 too many, and 20 is not enough.

Goddamn. It was something I've been looking for for years. How many times have I taken 1 in 20 hadn't been enough? And here here with a living example sitting around me having COVID, proven it could be done, that this disease of alcoholism could be kept at bay by the power of the living example. Boy, I wasn't interested about how to stop drinking.

Jesus, when you're in a psych ward and you're tied up in a jack of beer with bars on a window. You gotta stop. I didn't wanna find out how the hell you stopped, sir, stop drinking. Well, I wanted to find how the hell do you stop starting. And here was the answers coming right and left.

And that night, Jean took me down to the salley at 41st at 41st at 39th Street. It's 41st Street where the mission was. It took me down to the sally at 39th Street, and I and got in touch with the brigadier, and we got got in the dormitory with a man there that night. The next one, the brigadier give me a job in the kitchen. You know, the truck's going out.

The derelict's coming in and whatnot. And, again, I'm right back with the dishes. $2 a day. But every night, I make for AA, and it began to work. It began to work.

I hung off that first drink. Yeah. Was there anything I admire in Alcoholics Anonymous? When a man or a woman gets up and says my name is so and so, and I'm an alcoholic. I haven't lost my home.

I haven't lost my job, but I'm an alcoholic. I admire those people. They're smart. They've had that King's card in a Bellevue in their own bedroom, and they've taken their own inventory, inventory, inventory. Goddamn.

I gotta get educated again. They're taking their own inventor what is it, Donnie? Inventory. Good. And now I realize that this drinking, instead of them handling the drinking, the drinkings begin to handle them, and then life as a result is becoming not kind of unmanageable.

It's interfering with our home life and our job. And realizing it's becoming a serious problem. And if by the grace of god, they've been directed AA to AA, And in listening to the speakers, the realization of the progressiveness of this disease has brought to them a realization to do something about it now. Yeah. We have thousands of those kind of people in AA doing a wonderful job today carrying a message.

I admire those people. And I also admire the people whom come up on a platform and tell you that they were in a little time and then had these so called slips, but they come back. It takes guts to come back, and they commenced to do a wonderful job in AA and have a wonderful story to convey to us. Yes. I make calls in hospitals on people whom have been in AA 10, 12, and even up to 15 years.

And it always been the same answer to the question why. They have found that maybe after a while, they knew who was gonna speak that night. They didn't go to a meeting, and then they began to get a habit with them to a missed meeting. And then they got in with company somewhere where they didn't nobody knew they belonged to AA probably, where cocktails were going and they thought, well, what's after they what they know they tried. They'd probably be able to beat it, but it never works that way.

As once, you're an alcoholic, ladies and gentlemen, and this is actual statistics that these people can tell us. Once they take that first one and get that create that compulsion to carry on drinking, they can tear down in 2 or 3 days that which they may have built up in the last 5, 10, or 15 years. They revert right back to where they were before they came into age. Age. These people have a wonderful story, and I always like to be the first to shake their hand when they come back Because it is through these people that conveys to me the fact that by taking an active interest in the AA program and the realization of the many blessings I've received since coming into this program.

The ability to bring a little happiness and contentment to those whom are nearest and dearest to me, to bring a little peace of mind and contentment to myself. These are things that all the money in the world can't buy for us. But he gives it all free, and only asks one thing in return. A little effort. A little effort, keep off the first drink.

And by attending these meetings, I'm taking an active interest in the program. Here we have the power of the living example. Yeah. Those early years. I remember 19 41, I think it was, Jack Alexander brought out a nautical in the Saturday Evening Post.

It had quite an impact throughout the country. The Saturday Evening Post had quite a big circulation at that time. And he brought out an article on AE. And as a result of that, we were smothered with letters in New York at our group from all over the country. Some of these letters would break your heart asking for help.

They were from villages, hamlets, ranches, towns, cities to help them. We didn't have the literature, chip, but we did try to the best of our ability to cover as many calls as we could around New York and Brooklyn, so on. We were very enthusiastic. We had a lot to learn in 12 step work. We'd go out individually.

We had to learn through experience that it takes 2 to make the 12 step call. We have to learn it when a wife phones in, and she says her husband's drinking. Come along and see him, and you go there, and he you know, he doesn't know you're coming. You're in a hell of a mess. We have to land to get the man on the phone, not us.

I remember I remember one call and it was all the years in Brooklyn, a call come in from 80 60, and I thought I'd go over and make a call. I pulled up the ambition like we're all doing individually. It's way like to learn to take 2 of us. And I got out of this house, nice house, nice little home. I knocked at the door, and the big guy in the red robe went to the door.

He was on shaved and so on. And one look at him, I was I knew he was on a terrific TA. And I said, how do you do? He's about half shot. His wife wasn't there, and she had done the phone.

He didn't know it was coming. So I said, how do you do? I said, I'm, my name is Watson. I'm from an organization where I'm here in New York, Alcoholics Anonymous. And I understand you're having a little trouble with your drinking, and I thought maybe I could come over and help you.

This guy's about 6 foot with his long red robe on. You know? And she's what? And I repeat it again. Yeah?

Come here. So I got inside, and he got out of 2 decent chairs, and I go home there, and I sat in one of the chairs. He's standing over me. He's, where you see you from? I said, I'm from Alcoholics Anonymous, An organization is is a movement that we have here that helping each other keep our drinking.

Yeah? What's your identification? I said, I have no identification. Where where am I? Where am I?

Where am I? Sit down. Sit down. And he went to a door, and I heard him struggling. I don't know what the hell he was doing in the next room, but in about 3 minutes or 4 minutes, he come in.

And when he come in, he had a priest badge on this big red robe. And then he had his bells and his gun hanging right in front of his spectators, gone in between his legs. No. He said, you see who I am? We've had a lot of people getting raped around here.

He said, you got no identification. Who the hell do I know who you are? So I stood up as close as I could to him. I didn't want that hand to get down. He was a guy half nut, and he had a gun.

This is this is where I'd allowed to take 2 on these steps. And I stood as close as I could going so he couldn't get a hand down, and I started talking. And I really talked. And while I was talking to him, close right up to him, I kind of swung him around a little bit, and I got my hand on that door that I came in. And when I got my hand on that handle out of that door, like I shot out of hell.

You know, some of this viola were not made but close Stepworth. No. No. No. No.

Never get that in your head, ladies and gentlemen. You might know some people that seems to be bringing in, I think what you call here in California, you call them pigeons. I don't know why, but now they get discouraged on a 12 step call. We started 1 or 2 groups in New York, Flatbush Bronx, 1 Saint George, 1 at Bay Ridge. About 2 years later, I was you would have talked at this meeting at Bay Ridge, and in walked this guy, and I kinda recognized him.

And I went up to him, I said, how are you? Do you remember me? No. I said, I see you're at the meeting tonight. Have you been here before now?

He said, I've never been at a meeting. He said, there's some oh, you're the first. Come to my house. I said, you live on 80 60, don't you? Yeah.

You're the guy that that talk about, alcoholics and all this? I said, yeah. Well, he said, you know, I'm in trouble with the department there just now. He said, I'm up in front of the commissioner, and he said, it was still drinking. I don't know which way to turn.

He says, I I intend to cut it out, so I've come down here to learn something about AA. A, a welcome from him, and so on like that. And he sat through the meeting. He seemed to be very much impressed. We kinda followed him up on his trial, and he got through alright.

We spoke to the commissioner there and so on. This man seemed to be sincere, and he carried on an AA. George turned out of Verbier, a very good man. He started that idea today throughout this this country and other countries, and these big syndicates, DuPont, and all these big auto manufacturing companies and so on, they've started their own group. There was one time they had no other alternative than to fire a good mechanic or a man.

If he was drinking, I was under the was an alcoholic. They didn't know what the hell to do with them, and they lose a good man. But George, you've been to the commissioner of New York after being in AA for a year or so and suggested to him that to try and form a group in the Metropolitan Police Department of New York City. The commissioner was very much in favor of it, and they rented a room besides some patch there and they started a meeting on a Tuesday night just for the policeman. I had the pleasure throughout the years of talking to that group 3 or 4 or 5 times.

Last time I spoke, I think there's about a 125 of them, membership, a 100 minute pound increase. All those boys would have been in serious trouble, but they're now doing splendid work, and many of them have advanced themselves into higher positions. All through the seed of AA being set in this guy's brain at the time he ordered me out the house. So never get discouraged if you leave a little seed of AA. You never know just when it's gonna bloom forth and bring forth fruit.

George has passed on now, god rest his soul, but they do have a memorial in their meeting room with the priest too in memory of them, of the splendid work he'd done, and how many helped in the Metropolitan Police Department. It's great the way they say he's worked. I'll go when you walk into a house. We're calling one more incident, and this is a guy lying on the bed. He's out of this world.

You can't talk to him. His bed is all upset. He's broken dirt all over the floor. He's sick. He's out of this world.

He can't talk to Tom. His little wife is in the kitchen. There's not a thing in the icebox. She's 7 months pregnant. There's 2 kids.

She don't know how to do. You get in touch with a little doctor in Bay Ridge who was very interested in AA, although he wasn't an alcoholic. He comes up and eventually get Tom into the King's County. You visit him while he's in there. He's a riveter down the Bethlehem Steel Works on Third Avenue.

When he comes out, he comes to a meeting at 2. He begins to get a hold of the AA program. He gets back on his job, and he's bringing his money home every Friday night. He's the one that's brought him to the world. He's got 3 kids now.

And when Tom's been in about 4 or 5 months, he gets up to make his first talk in his own humble way to try and carry the message. And that night, his little wife comes down to here, Tom, make his first call. She's so proud. And you look at the peace of mind and contentment on that wife's face, And you see Tom up there in his own humble way trying to convey the message of AA. Realizing the predicament that Tom and that little woman was in only a few months ago.

And as you sit at the back there and you think to yourself, maybe you had a little to do with bringing that happiness and contentment into that home, you get a feeling within you that all the liquor in the world couldn't give you. I think it was Sam Johnson that said, if you live right and do right, there's very little that go wrong. But if you live wrong and do wrong, there's very little that go right. I've got to ease right. Does none of us shall be perfect?

I just got over 27 years in here, but I'm not perfect a long way. There's no differentiation between my problem and the problem of the newcomer in here tonight, maybe for this first time. I may have a little longer sobriety, but the problem is exactly the same. There's no seniority in AA. It is only 4 weeks ago that I addressed the young people's Hollywood group.

They call themselves to meet on a Sunday morning about 11:30 on Wilshire Boulevard. I went down there to speak to them. There's about a 100 of them. I think the average age would be around about 22 to 23. Some of them in there, 15 16, go go girls, and I don't know what and what they could tell you, boy, would knock you for a goal.

But here they were trying to get AA. As I said to them, I said, it makes me proud. AA, every year, I think, as long as United States is here. You young people are left to carry the message. We may be what we praise as old timers, but many of us are passing along.

You people will carry the message. You've got something in life to look forward to, a life of good. As I say, we'll never be perfect. I still like to go to the race tonight. God darn, I like to see Hollywood and the waterfalls and Santa Anita with its palm trees and those lousy horses.

I'll let you do some 12 step work amongst them, suckers. And so we go along. Yeah. I got 7 grandchildren now. 2 girls are married very well.

1 of them is in Holland at present with her husband. He's a big shot of someone with this company handling a bit easier. An architectural engineer or someone that sets up these refineries or something, and go over there now for 3 or 4 years. We're handling about 4 or 500 men. I understand the other girl is married to one of the leading education men you have here in California.

It's not awfully well. Last year, the wife and I made a trip to Scotland, first time in 40 years. I had a sister over there. She's 84, the last of the family. She's the eldest.

And, darling, I'm 83. Yeah. Something like that. None of you go go girls. I'm not 83 yet.

And we visited the people in Scotland. I spoke in Edinburgh, Glasgow, London. God, you know, and in a wonderful no matter it seems to me no matter what country you go to, Australia, any place at all, you'll find the groups. And no matter how strange you are in a strange city, you just go to a meeting and you've got friends. Let me stop talking for about 10 or 15 seconds while you and I ask ourselves a question tonight.

Here we are sitting together on a Saturday night. We're contented. We're with good people, people that speak our language and know what problem we have. And by noon, we are assisting each other by the fact of being here, Sean, that we can live this way of life and enjoy it. But let us ask ourselves one question.

Where would you and I be tonight? What would our life be like tonight if by the grace we had grace of God, we hadn't found AA? Yeah. Surely, the answer to that must fill our hearts with appreciation of this great program. I know it's 2 men, Bill and old doc.

Bill and Brooke in New York, they get some kind of what he call a spiritual experience. He's able to lay off his stuff 5 or 6 weeks. The old doc up in Akron got wise to it. They were a great friend. And he doc's wife wrote to Bill and asked him and his wife to come up and visit him.

They wanted to know how he stopped drinking because the doc was on a terrific drunk. And Bill went up background, and the duck wanted to know how he stopped drinking. And Bill said, you know, if you stop drinking, doc, it'll help me a lot. The doc said, well, if you can do it, maybe, Bill, maybe I can do it. Here was one of the foundation stones of the Alcoholic Synonymous program being laid, the power of the living example.

And it began to work, and along came the second god given inspiration that these two men carry the message. And Tim and his sister, the 2 of them and his sister Ignatius went around the hospitals of Akron, picking up the derelicts in the first group of alcoholics anonymous, which started in Akron. And then Bill came down to the Brooklyn, was thrown out of a room and I was there. So the derelict, she was driving in there, and then they opened up our place up at 39 41st Street, New York. Show is extended.

Yeah. We have a lot to be thankful for as we sit here tonight. I think one of the greatest things that I appreciate so much in AA. I'm now kind of semi retired. I'm out here kind of in that vast capacity for the company.

We bought a little home in Pasadena. We have our own home. We're going over to visit the daughter this coming summer. It's been great happiness in my home. Very proud of grandchildren.

I think they're like their grandpa. I want you to take it back to that guttiff, sitting there, lonely, unhappy, lost soul, held in contempt by his fellow men. And if everybody has said, you see that nut sitting there, talking to himself, someday he'll be a respected citizen. Someday he may have the respect of his fellowmen. Someday, he may have his own home, his own car, and the respect of his family.

Yeah. Yeah. It works. You bet it does. If you want it, it'll work.

It'll work. And this is a serious disease. Don't kid yourself. You have any doubts, my friend, you you get into New York City, get into Chicago, LA, or Frisco, any of these big cities? I know from personal experiences in New York City, Bellevue there, the barge pulls up every Tuesday morning.

At 10:30, every Tuesday morning it pulls up, and they take anywhere from 25 to 30 boxes out of the ice house. Out. People picked up in that big city. They don't know where they come from. They don't know who they are.

Yeah. I lived with those I lived with those kind of people at one time. In some god given way, they know they're on their last last drive or something. And at one time in their life, I presumed they were respected and loved by someone in their younger days. And rather than let them know how they died, they removed every piece of identification from them and when they're picked up.

Nobody knows who they are, where they come from. And I put on that barge every Tuesday morning and taken up the island and put in the poor man's grave. I don't care how much money I have. Once you've lost control of drinking and you persist and carry on drinking, if you have plenty of money, you'll finish in a nut house nut house. And if you have no money, you'll finish as many of us did down the gutter.

It has been a pleasure being here tonight. It's been a pleasure, Don. It's been a pleasure seeing you and Betty here on our feet again. I had the pleasure of addressing, I think, your second meeting, this fellowship meeting, and Don Don invited me up from Los Angeles. It was raining that night, and I got down when it's raining again tonight.

It was nice of our little girl, Louise, to ask us up ask me up there, and it was very, very nice of Molly to meet me and take me down to that guadalupe restaurant. I had a free dinner there. Boy, that was worth a trip along. And I can't figure how a guy with 5 bars in his face is able to keep sober. You've gotta hand it to him.

Him. I was saying to Marty there, god's sake. Our trouble was trying to get the money to get more drink. Can you imagine, Marty, if we had 5 bars, would have been dead years ago. He's gotta be handed a lot of credit.

And in closing, ladies and gentlemen, I'm catching the plane back in the morning. I'm staying at the center there if any of you girls want no way of living. The wife's not with me tonight. She was with me last time. We have about 4 people visiting us just now, and she's busy with them.

That's why I gotta get away back in the early in the morning. I wish she had been here tonight, because a couple of years after AIA, I got back home as as you realize, and she's done a tremendous amount of fine AA works. She started up the Al Anon groups in New York. She's been a great work, and I've been a I've been very proud of she's been able to make it here tonight. We're getting along fine.

God, when I think of getting over those drunks, I used to lie in bed there, swearing that Jesus is gonna die. I'd be in the dark house, of course. Nobody in the house would be talking to me. And not here in the kitchen, you know, doing the dishes. Not Swear I'm gonna die.

Beep. Beep. Will you squeeze me an orange? And then that beautiful romantic voice coming back about coming out, squeeze your goddamn neck. Jesus.

No. That's all changed. And talking about our fine minister, the other spoke so wonderfully well to Matt, I thought he had a wonderful message for us. You know, I never went to church for many years, previous to AA. The wife would take the kids to Sunday school, of course.