Big Book Study on Steps 8 & 9 in Prescott, AZ

And they sat down with me, and I saw some amends that I'm I have not been aware of, some financial stuff. And I went home and talked to my wife and we decided to sell the house, beautiful house, and move into a trailer and pay off those financial amends. And he said he was more free than he'd ever been in 20 6 years, and I thought, wow. The courage for somebody with that much time to do something that drastic to get free. So, of course, being an alcoholic and wanting to follow in their footsteps, I called Paul Martin.

I said, I'm coming to Chicago. He said, bring an inventory. They do something similar to what Paul and I were talking about yesterday where you do resentment, you do fear, you do relationships, and then there's about 12 other on, entrees. There's about 12 other entries. That's a good entrees.

Chew on. Something to chew on. He gave me a little something to chew on, and it summed up the whole inventory. And it was the 7 deadly sins plus a couple more, like, self pity and couple other ones. I wrote this inventory.

I went to visit my family in Battle Creek, Michigan and drove to Chicago on a Thursday. He said, come on Thursday. Don't make any plans until, Monday. I said, great. I arrived in Chicago on Thursday.

They took me to their home group. Nice group. There was another man there whose story was in the 1st edition. Paul was there. He had probably 48 years at the time.

He's now, like, 58 years sober. And, they do a step a week. They talked about the 10th step. They took me back to a hotel. And as I was leaving from the car, Paul hands me a mimeograph sheet.

And it says Friday, 9 o'clock Sam, 1 o'clock Charlie, 4 o'clock Harry. Saturday, 1 9 o'clock, 1 o'clock, 4 o'clock. Sunday, 9 o'clock, 1 o'clock, 4 o'clock. They're gonna send 9 idiots by my room to hear my fist step. I got up to the room.

My ego was already even before the first one, my ego was just screaming and this sane thought came, hey, if this is the way it's gonna be, surrender. Give in to the experience. Have them take the phone off and take the television, and make it a 3 day retreat. I had done a few retreats by then. And so what I did was with no telephone, with no television, I, did an hour meditation before and after each one.

And 3 days later, I'd done 18 1 hour meditations and 9 fist steps. And it was like one of those movies where they're, like, interviewing babysitters and it changes the face, and it's another and then another one and another one. There were guys from 6 months to 50 years. And every every one of those experiences stay current. They stay current.

They would re he would read his inventory and ask for feedback, and then I would read mine and he would give me some feedback. I think Saturday after the 6th one, my inside I just wanted to start screaming, and I had I just wanted to call I just wanted to do something. And I sat. And I broke through another wall. And then 3 more came the next day.

Now, I don't know if I would do that again with 9 people or go to Chicago. But since then, I have seen that more than 1 fist step with more than one person does take out any resistance in step 6 and 7. I think you can usually tell if you've learned enough of humility, honesty, and openness that we find it necessary when you face the 6th and 7 step questions. You will also take out resistance to making amend. Yeah.

Yeah. I've done fist steps on a mountain top with Don Coys. I've done fist steps in the ghetto in squalid conditions, just as powerful. I've done fist steps on the beach. I've done fist steps with women, mine.

It's an experience not to be missed because maybe for the first time, you can have a similar experience like they described here. But maybe you'll also have an experience where maybe for the first time in your life, there's actually 2 people in the room. Not like it always been, because I don't know about you, but for me it was always me and whoever I wanted you to be. The day of my first fist step with Don, of course, and it was with this book. That's why this is kind of special for me today.

I had my fist step, this pile. My first inventory was big. I also completely 8 steps quickly, right away. They need some power. Mine was just a little different.

I I think I was, 5 months in inventory. I heard a guy the other day. He said, he was 2 months and 2 hours in inventory. 2 months putting it off and 2 hours writing it. I understood that.

This last one, I wrote. Well, I'll get to that later. But, that first inventory was pretty big, and it took 3 days. And you know what Don did with me the first night? I read all day, probably 6, 7 hours at his house.

And I had that experience where it was me and Don. Then he said he was going to speak across town in Denver. And and 2 or 300 people in a meeting in Denver is a pretty big speaker meeting. And we're walking in. And as we walk into this church with 2 or 300 people, he said, oh, I forgot to tell you.

I'm now leery whenever I hear that from my sponsor, right? Oh, I forgot to tell you. He said, you're speaking first. Halfway through my first inventory, my first fist step. And my mind said, there is absolutely no way I can do that.

He said, good. Every time you do something you know you can't, God will show up. Next time you're asked to do something your head tells you you can't do it, do it. You'll find out God's there. God's in the risk.

God's in risking it. And I got up and I didn't know until 2 days later when I read those promises that he just went over, I experienced the 5th step promises standing in front of those people. I was able to look him in the eye. There was peace. Went home.

It was a powerful experience. I have fist stepped with, groups, small group. I just fist stepped with, 5 people this last inventory in the same room. These men that I meet with every Monday night, I read to them. It's a powerful experience.

I remember one of the most power and if you've never listened to A Fist Step, don't miss that. You know, not only does the book say that I should feel honored, you actually can. And how long has it been being so wrapped up in self that you felt honored by anything, anybody wanted to trust you with? How long has it been since anybody's trusted you with something? And for people to come by my house and wanna lay that whole thing out.

So my first one, it was pretty big, took 3 days. And I know he had said that I should write down anything I was gonna take to the grave. And I hid it on a little piece of paper inside here, in this leather cover. And you know what? By the time I was done reading the the three parts of that inventory, resentment, fear, and sex, it was silly not to read that to him.

It was just a stupid thing. I'd woken up in an apartment in New Orleans one morning with a strange individual prancing around the room that I didn't wanna know what went on, and I was ashamed. And, of course, he had some that were even worse. Right? And, you'll probably never be surprised, but sometimes you might be.

We know a guy in Denver who heard a fist step of a guy in the witness protection program in our NAA, and the guy went out after the fist step and put a contract on the guy that hurt his fist step. Put a contract on his life because he's heard about some stuff he shouldn't have heard about. I know that probably one of the only things in Alcoholics Anonymous I've never violated that I've always held close to my heart is the confidence of a fist step. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I have never revealed anything specifically about somebody else's by name. I remember one time where, I had heard a guy's, resentment and fear inventory, and the next day was gonna come over to read his sex inventory.

And he paused before we started and he said, there's something I need to tell you. I knew exactly what he was gonna say. He said, I'm gay. I said, great. Read your inventory.

He said, but I've never had sex with a I said, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. He said, I've never had sex with an animal or I said, so you've never had sex with an animal? He said, no. No.

No. No. I've never had sex. Man was 35 years old. He started I said, well, what did you write?

He said, I've written about all these relationships that I've had in my head my whole life. I said, well, I've had a few of those too. Why don't you read what you wrote? And about 20 minutes into it, in a moment of silence, he looked at me and I looked at him, and we knew we were exactly the same. That selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, self seeking, and fear took me to doing all kinds of stuff and that same stuff took him to doing nothing.

But in the middle of that, we were all we were both the same. Right? That area of his life changed, came alive. I've had I've had times where the inventory is so clear, the fist step seems silly. I've had times where the inventory is not that clear and the fist step is really powerful.

I've had times where both were powerful. Yeah. But I think the main thing that I always needed to experience is that you and I aren't any different, and there's really no separation between us. This last one, I had read to Mark. I had read to 2 people in New York.

And then we went to do a retreat. And on Sunday morning, Mark's kinda like saying, you know, what should we do this morning? I said, well, why don't you do a guided meditation on everything up to the 4th step, through the 4th step. And then I'll just read a couple pages from this inventory that I've just read for several days to several people. My mind said, it'll be no big deal.

So he did one of these great guided meditations on the first four steps. And then I said, I'd like to share a couple pieces of inventory from this current inventory. And I read 1. It was just like I could have been reading the newspaper. I read another one and I'm kind of looking down like this and then my mind goes, there's 80 people in the room.

And I looked up and I had an experience like I was reading a fist step to, like, 80 people. People in the front said that my whole face changed when it was done and I was, like, bright. They could feel this and and when I when it was done, I did I only read, like, 3 or 4 pieces of inventory. When it was done, I felt this warmth. It was, like, it was a very powerful experience.

But I think you have to be willing to risk, you know, making a fool of yourself, laying out the truth, being a human. And at some point, you have to come to love that part of yourself that will always be human. I I've had a teacher in about 10 years ago who lived with Thomas Merton for many years. His name is doctor Jim Finley. And he used to talk to me about compassion.

And especially when I came back from India because I've been like studying with the a human being that knows a lot about compassion. And, he would always ask me, what do you think about compassion now? And it was always a definition based on how I might feel towards someone. You know, you view a beggar. You view a suffering person.

And he would kind of always shake his head, and then, you know, I would I would be left with considering it. And he said, you know, maybe you're starting to experience some true compassion for yourself, a loving acceptance of yourself. And maybe you'll stop perpetuating violence on yourself by always trying to change that part of your being which will always be a human. And when he says that in Los Angeles with all these people who are always into the latest thing, that always with this desperate anxiety filled drive to be changing is lack of compassion, and it it's violence. It's perpetuating violence on yourself by always trying to change that part of yourself which is broken or human.

And I came to and I think the 5th step experience is both listening and reading 1, have been a big part of finding some compassion for myself. You know, I had a harder time a harder time the first time somebody mentioned making amends to myself than I did with any amends that I've ever made as far as really internal resistance. You know, lack of inti lack of intimacy with myself has been as harmful as lack of intimacy with others or lack of intimacy with God. So I read this inventory. I've either learned enough of humility and honesty that I find it necessary.

And I come to these questions. And I think, wow. You know, asking, am I willing asking one of the first 6 step questions. And you know, I think between page 75 and 76, they make a major jump. You know how, kind of like everything up to this chapter is you can't trust your own mind, your problems of your own making, selfishness, dishonesty, resentment.

And I think after a fist step from from those promises, I think that they really mean it when they say, you may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now you've begun to have a spiritual experience. Because I think by the bottom of that page where you do returning home remember, returning home is part of the 5th step, not the 6th step. You return home, you find a place where you can be quiet, you review the first five proposals, you look at the cement, the stones. But I think when you turn that page, literally, and in the process itself, you'll notice on page 76, they now start to ask you to trust. To trust this experience, this God, this whatever you wanna call it because they start to say things like, if you can answer to your own satisfaction.

That's a trustful that's a trustful statement. Have I answered to my own satisfaction the questions from returning home? If it if the answer is no, do returning home again. Maybe you have to do it 2 or 3 times. I did returning home after each fist step this time.

When I got through that last one, there was no resistance. And I was I was, I had answered to my own satisfaction those returning home questions. Then we look at step 6. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. And after being around for a while, my ego says, well, that's kind of for the new people, isn't it?

Willingness. I'm way beyond willing. I'm a big time believer. And I don't really see the significance of that question. Is is willingness important at this point?

Is it indispensable? So I then I asked the next question because I've skimmed over that first one. Am I now ready to let God remove from me all the things I have admitted or objectionable? All the things I have admitted or objectionable? Yes.

Can he now take them all, everyone? Can he? Yes. And I was always told to add one there from the ABC's. Will he?

Oh. I don't know. I don't know if he will. Oh, that's why willingness is indispensable. I'm willing to believe that he will.

Then a stupid statement, which was the first one, willingness is indispensable, becomes very relevant when I'm asked the right question. Not am I ready to let it all go, not can he take it all, each and every one, but will he for me as I am with mud on my face? You know, it's hard to save your ass when you're trying to save your face. It just depends on how much face you got left to save. Yeah.

Yes. I believe he will. Am I will and there's another one you could add there. Am I willing to let am I willing to let go of my ideas of what I think that might look like? Where that it might involve going?

You know, there was a part of me that would have just loved to stay in Denver when I was 5 years sober. I was happy. I did not choose to leave Denver. My sponsors down the street. I'm working with people.

I'm serving on the state committee. And I went out to California to make amends and I'm literally moved there because I said I would follow through on an amends and ended up there for a totally another reason. Again, I could have stayed in Santa Monica a long more a lot more time after 10 years in Santa Monica. It would have killed me because of what I was doing with the stuff you told me I should be doing. I ran it into the ground.

So do I know what that might look like, what God might have for me? Then it asks you to trust again when ready. It doesn't say don't trust your mind, don't trust your intuition, don't trust God. It says, are you ready? We say something like this.

Absolutely knows in their heart why that 7 step prayer says the good and the bad. Because if you started with a list, I love these sponsors that have you make a list of assets and liabilities. And by the time you're done with an inventory, you don't know the difference because some of the stuff you thought was really good was killing you and some of the stuff you thought was really bad saved your ass. I I do that mentally. I've never done it on paper, but I should one time.

At the beginning of the work, make a list of the stuff you think is really good and the stuff you think is really bad. And by the end of a fist step, they've almost reversed. Stuff that I thought was bad because it's uncomfortable, because it's painful, has brought me back to God one more time. And stuff I thought was really good because it was comfortable and safe is the stuff that was killing me. So I know I know now why they say the good and the bad, all of me.

Take it all. You know? I also have to say to you that if you've been around for a while and your prayer life has not evolved and you're saying the same prayers, although there might be a few you still love, if your prayer life hasn't evolved and you're saying the old prayers that you've been saying all these years, you might want to ask yourself, am I stuck? Has there been evolution to my prayer life? And I'll give you an example.

There came a time for me not too long ago where the 7 step prayer, the way it's written in here, was unacceptable to my spirit, and that is telling God when. It seemed to me the 7 step prayer had a little too many nows, you know. But we said something like this. It doesn't say we said each of these words, something like this. I remember the first time Don Coria said to me, write your own third step prayer.

Oh, that was a threat. That was a threat. But there came a time when saying, my creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now. See, I'm telling him that I'm ready now and that he should be ready now.

You know, God ain't coming to believe in me. He already does. My willingness becomes a lot less important the longer I'm sober, because you know what? He is willing. Yeah.

That you remove every single defective character. I used to read that when they would do it at the end of a meeting. Defective characters. Please remove all these defective characters which stand in the way of my usefulness, which is really what I wanna do. And, to you and to my fellows.

Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding. I just couldn't tell God when anymore, And I have a I have a 7 step that comes from my heart. That's when your prayer life will start to evolve, when your prayers this room have had times where the prayer begins without you thinking that you're going to pray now. Spontaneous prayer that arises from your spirit. You know, that's what I rely on because there's gonna be a moment when I'm not gonna pray and I'm gonna drink.

And maybe that spontaneous prayer will stop and remind me. I used to think prayers were for God. My God, how arrogant. That my prayers actually did something for God. Coming from.

God doesn't sit up there, well, Mark said 20 prayers today, but he only said 10 yesterday, so I'm going to screw his life up when he only says 10 and give him stuff really good when he says 20. No, no, no. I couldn't believe in that anymore. Prayers are for us. God doesn't need any prayers, especially when you find that it's it's an energy that's within each of us and it's just aligning yourself with that energy, and that's part of what prayer does.

And, now we need more action. I've always said, there's an experience at each step. There's even miracles at some steps, but you wanna know the real miracle of each step when you're in the action of the next. You wanna know when you've done 6 and 7 when you don't have any reservations that you're gonna work on or fix any of these defects. I love these kind of sponsors too.

After my 5th step, my sponsor gave me a list of my defects in the order that I was gonna work on them. I think 6 and 7 are about God. I hope they are. I pray. That's the prayer.

I hope 6 and 7 are in your hands. And you know when you're done with 6 and 7, when you're making a list of people you've harmed, That's the miracle of 6 and 7 when you're doing 8. Like the miracle of step 3, when you got a pen you're writing your inventory. That's the miracle of the first three steps. And I make this list.

We were told to put them on cards, But I think one of the big mistakes that the group I come from and some of the people I've known, I think one of the biggest mistakes we've made is not spending enough time on the second half of step 8. I believe the most overlooked word in the 12 steps in the short form on the wall is the last word of the 8th step. And that is and it's used twice in that step. Made a list of all and became willing to make amends to them all. My sponsor told me he got free in the 8th step in the Colorado State Penitentiary before hit they let him out and that his freedom in step 9 comes from your willingness in step 8.

And I do not I now I don't know if it would have worked with me the first time with a big list. I had about 350 amends the first time. It's not because I'm a big time gangster. I just lived in a lot of different places and where I live, I hurt people. And I never thought I would be given the power to make all those amends.

And I wish, and I do now, I do not go past step 8 until I'm willing to make amends to them all. And you know what? I've never been asked to be willing to do something that I don't have to do. And I think the most overlooked word and the number one phenomena that takes more people out of Alcoholics Anonymous than anything else is not making amends to them all. That's what such people means.

Made amends to such people, that means all of them. And I get really scared sometimes when Mark and I hear sponsors who edit people's amends list. Sponsor told me those are some of the most important relationships in your life. You go back to every one of them. You just be clear on your motives and let them know why you're there, and then it's not to get back together.

I think if one step sums up the title of this weekend, which Mark always refers to, when it comes to amends, is how free do you wanna be? Do a little review on some of my experiences with the 5th Step. First of all, how many of you have read a 5th step to a man or of the clergy? Raise your hands. So a few of you.

So the rest of you who've never done that, you have an opinion and experience you've never had? Right? See, the spiritual life is not a theory. I've read, 2 inventories to priests. One was a priest in AA.

That was different than the other one. Both of them were great experiences. I have read 5th steps to, women. I took a woman, she now has 38 years, sobriety. I took her through the steps when she was 32 years sober and we swapped 5th steps.

You wanna get clear on some stuff from a different perspective, have have a woman who's in her seventies with 35 years sobriety listen to your 5th step if you're a man. You'll you'll get awakened to some stuff that a man had never wake your ass up to. Because the book doesn't tell me. It gives me instructions but it doesn't get specific on gender. Varying lengths of sobriety, I've done that several times.

Red 5th steps to a lot of people in the same I'll call it the the same lineage that I have because they understand and approve what I'm driving at. My first experience with multiple 5th steps was in the early nineties and it was very profound. Very, very profound. The big book says that I take this inventory to read to person or persons. And I was asked to consider doing that, reading it to more than one person.

Of course, I'd never done it. So I begin to voice my objections to that. And that's when the man said to me what I just said. He said, so let me make sure I understand this. You have an opinion on experience you've never had.

Is that what I'm hearing from you? He said, more likely that's one of your major defects. He he was right. That's that's a that's a practice I have today when I dialogue with people. I'm not the least been interested in the experience you've never had.

If you've never worked with meditation, don't try and talk to me about meditation. If you have a lot of unfinished amends, don't talk to me about what it's like to have none. If you have no meditation life, I guess, don't talk to me about that. If you don't have much experience with inventory, I'm not interested in your opinion. Why?

The spiritual life is not a theory. I have to live it. Men and women in AA who influenced me in this book were very clear. This is about you pursuing a course of action having experience. So that's the place that I that I came from with that.

When when I look back in hindsight, it appears not much happened for me in the 6th and 7th step till I ran across that, sacraments of penance. And the way I use that tool was I would read an inventory, spend the hour and review and then I would take that and I would begin to read what these defects of character were and pronounce myself guilty or not guilty. And I suspect the reason I had such a profound impact on me is number 1, I had never seen such a large assembly of defects. Almost all of which I was demonstrating in my behaviors and actions. And it did several things for me.

And Joe touched on some. I'll tell you what it did. It introduced me to my brokenness and how my efforts to fix myself will never work. It introduced me to your brokenness. It made you and I the same at a level I'd never experienced before.

It allowed me to experience forgiveness for myself. That is crucial because all relationships with all people and with all things start first of all with the one I have with myself. When I stop judging myself, I stop judging you. When I'm compassionate with myself, I'm compassionate with you. That happened for me using that tool which is why I like to use the tool.

It is not in my experience to do anything with 67 other than the course of action is outlined. I don't review my defects. I don't work on my defects. The idea of embellishing my defect, whenever I hear that, that's what I think. I'm gonna embellish my defect.

I do these exercises and then I then I move on. Now, the 8 step list. Over the years, many 8 step lists that memory is not as clear as it used to be on the extent of the list. I can tell you who who winds up making the list. Virtually everybody, it's all my resentment inventory.

Then, I spend some time in prayer and ask god to show me any names that were not on my inventory. I always had some. They always came up. There are some people in my life who I harmed, who I did not resent. My grandmother is a classic example of that.

There were other amends that surfaced, bubbled up over the years. I'll give you an example. Mother Earth, I was probably 14 years sober before on the 8 step list, it came up that I need to make amends to mother earth. Mother earth is a living, breathing organism. And when I looked at what I had done to this living, breathing organism that sustained me because I was so asleep, and you begin to remember more.

I told a friend the other day, And you begin to remember more. I told a friend the other day, God had revealed to me the amends that I have made over the past 20 years, I'm sure I'd have committed suicide. It would have been beyond anything I could have comprehended at that time. So over the years, more and more and more gets revealed. I believe that there's a reason for that.

So that's how I make my list. I have no judgments about what shows up in my list Nor will anybody rob me of the freedom that can come from making that amends because they haven't done much with the men's. So they're gonna transmit to you what they have. I could tell you story after story of that of some some people I've done work with who who had gotten up to a 9 step and had 60, 70, 80, 90, 100 amends and sat across from someone and they whittled it down to 10 or 15. Anytime that happens, it happens because a person sitting across from you whittled their list down to 10 or 15.

They're robbing you. They're robbing you of freedom. They might as well give you a razor blade as they admit as they edit your amends list. See, I'm grateful for the influences I had and those influences that I had felt the word all was very significant and made us work with the word all and made us start from today and go back as far as I can remember looking for any kind of harm, Put it down, free of judgment. Write it down.

Did this back in grade school. Did this, did this, did this, did this. God, I remember one time Mark shared with me that he'd been through the work. It was maybe the 6th or 7th time. Any amends I'm not aware of.

And I think it was 50 specific instances with no names came to him. And it was all about women. Mhmm. And he read those to a woman, and that area of his life changed. To this day, he's not gotten married again.

For Mark, that's a slip. For me, it would be a progress. A lot of truth in what he just said. And when we we're getting pretty close to taking a break for session. Then we get back, we're gonna cover some of the specific instructions around the men's and then we're gonna, share some of our own personal experiences and then some of the experiences of some people I've had the pleasure of working.

Now, Joe had made a statement about a lot of people drinking or not staying sober because of unfinished amends. And I don't know if that's true or I don't know if it's not true. I know that the big book tells me that if I don't go to my utmost, I'll never get over drinking. So I strongly suspect what he said is probably very true, Very true. You can't believe some of the big book and not other parts just because some is more convenient than others.

We're gonna see in here under amends that well, I'll read it to you. You will never get over drinking till you've done your utmost to straighten out your past. Now, I don't know how you all would interpret that sentence but I believe it speaks fairly clearly. I'll never get over drinking till I've done my utmost, u t m o s t, to straighten out my past and I believe that means all of it. Take a look.

All of it. And are you willing to go back? Are you willing to clean that all up? Are you willing to pay all the money back? Are you willing to sit across from all those people, your mother and your father and anyone that you created harm to?

Brothers and sisters and ex wives and husbands and boyfriends and girlfriends and employers, police departments. I was a Vietnam vet, Vietnamese. I'll talk about an incredible experience I had behind some of that. How do you make amends for the taking of a human life? Never get over drinking till you've done your utmost to straighten out the past.

How do you make amends for robbing people of emotional security? Every one of us in this room, if you're an alcoholic, one of the greatest ways that you harm people in your life is you've robbed them of emotional security hour after hour and day after day. How do you give that back? I have discovered staying clean and sober did a lot for that. I get real angry at times with alcoholics and, and addicts in this area.

I told you I work in the field of chemical dependency and I work at a long term treatment center. And one of the things that we do is we ask family members to write our clients, their loved ones, and these are not necessarily young people, they could be, we have 2 clients in their sixties. We ask them to write letters and we want we ask them to write in those letters, we would like a letter from you telling us how this person's behavior has impacted your life. And we do that for very specific reason. 1 I've asked to do with the men's, but the second is is to wake these alcoholic addicts out of their delusion about they didn't really harm that many.

You've all heard it. You know, when it comes down to it, I'm the only one that I've ever harmed. Wow. The only one I meant I will immense to is myself. I wish I had brought some of those letters.

We started this 2 months ago. And they'll make you cry. It is unbelievable what we do to people. Got a 28 year old female and the father writes a letter. This daughter has been using drugs for 7 years and this letter will tear your heart out.

This man talks about he almost lost his business he was worried about for just heart wrenching, gut wrenching stuff and getting those letters has just brought a whole another dimension to me in this immense. I'm not the kind of guy that has to work with and if you're gonna be coming at me with unwillies to make amends. It is unbelievable what we do to people and we are asleep to what we do to people, you know. I think there's reasons why the book says, Mark, you're here to be a maximum service to God and your fellow human beings. Give, give, give.

Make those amends. Call us people when you say you're gonna call them. Don't rob them of emotional security one more minute and try and help other people do the same thing. We're gonna take a, what, 15 minute break? I have, 2 things.

The 7 deadly sins which are mentioned in our 12 and 12 can be very beneficial at different points. The 7 deadly sins, which are mentioned in our 12 and 12, can be very beneficial at different points. The 7 deadly sins can help you with clarity in your 4th column of the inventory. They can help you during 6 and 7 when you're looking at the nature of your defects. They can also help you to review again when you're filling out your 8 step cards as to how we harm people from those from those 7 deadly sins.

If nobody's ever heard them, this is what they are. Pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and sloth. I was told after this last fist step to add intolerance, sarcasm, gossip, and self pity. There's a lot more. I also thought this was interesting.

Mahatma Gandhi, one of the most influential figures in modern social and political active activism, considered these traits to be the most spiritually perilous to humanity, wealth without work, pleasure without conscience, science without humanity, knowledge without character, politics without principle, commerce without morality, and worship without sacrifice. I also wanted to read this. Maybe we can do a moment of silence. This is the original 7 step prayer as used by doctor Bob with Clarence Snyder. Dear God, I'm coming to you on my knees in all humility to humbly ask you to forgive all my past wrongs and to remove all my defects of character.

I wanna start a new life today, and I ask you to help me to do so and to keep helping if I keep asking. In step 3, I turn my will in my life over to your care. Thank you for taking complete control of my life, and thank you for this opportunity to wipe my slate clean and start my life anew. In step 4, 5, and 6, I have completed my moral inventory and admitted to myself and to another person the exact nature of my wrongs, I now admit these wrongs to you, god. I am entirely ready to ask and pray now that you please remove from me every single defective character, especially specifically, I ask you to remove the following shortcomings listed in my 4 step moral inventory.

Read aloud there those defects from your list. Thank you, God, for this opportunity for a new beginning in my life and a chance to be part of the solution in life instead of the problem. Please grant me wisdom, knowledge, and strength as I go out from here to do your work and live the victorious life you have designated for me. Thank you, God, for the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous, which will make your plan for my life clear to me. Thank you and praise your name.

What time is it? How about we come back at quarter to 4? How about if we take a, moment of silence and follow that with a serenity prayer, please? Thank you. Join me in the serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Mention a couple of things before we talk about the 9th step. I had mentioned to you the tool that I like to use for 6 and 7. It's called the sacraments of penance. If you go to a Catholic church or Episcopalian church, hopefully, they will have it there.

Normally, you can get them to make a copy of that for you. And all it is, they call it the sacraments of penance. How many Catholics in here? Well, you should have some familiarity with it because before you go do confession, what they like you to do is sit down and review your sins. Sins means to miss the mark.

And the tool and the format they use for that are the sacraments of penance. So you sit and you look at that, and then you would normally go sit across from, a priest. I was introduced to this initially by a, not a Roman Catholic priest, Episcopalian priest. And I was used to confession from the standpoint of the confessional and you can't see and that isn't how this guy did it. He, sat across me and basically said, let's rock and roll.

And that he had given me the sacraments of penance, and he gave me 2 weeks to sit and look at my life and review my life. And so I went in and, I think it'd been 6 years since I had done that. That that, by the way, is a whole another experience from a 5th step with an alcoholic. Still very profound. And so I went through that with him.

He was not familiar with necessarily the program of AA and he certainly wasn't familiar with the men's. And when I told him the men's that I'd made up to that point in time, it was amazing to him. He literally amazing. He could not believe that we had a program which basically said, go to your brother and make peace with your brother. And that we actually did that.

He said his experiences people in the religious life don't do much of that. They talk about it. They talk about forgiveness. But he said it mostly they do it within themselves, but they don't sit go sit across from people. So he thought, you and I had been given a a great gift.

So that's that's where you'll find that. If you go on the Internet too, I'm sure you'll find some information. And remember, again, it's a tool. I was driven to that through the 11th step which is be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.

That's the kind of guy I am. If there's a tool out there that can help me in my spiritual path, I will use the tool. I don't care what donkey it comes from. I bought a lot of tools from a lot of different donkeys and they've all been very, very, helpful to me. Couple of comments, and then I wanna review some instructions as we go through amends.