"Dumb Guy Approach to the 12 Steps" in San Diego, CA

My name is Milt Warring. I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Milt. Can we start with a prayer? God, open our minds, open our hearts, and open our souls, so that we might see what you have for us today, and we might pass that on to others.

First thing is, I I I I I ain't no expert. I ain't to be quoted. I, we're gonna go through this together. It's the dumb guy approach, simple directions, that's all we're gonna try to stay with is the directions to simple program of alcoholics anonymous. I, if I if I miss a direction, I'm open to be told.

You're not gonna hurt my feelings by saying, hey, you missed that. Or, hey, that ain't what it says. I'm always open to that. Don't this is not authority here. Okay?

And if you're gonna quote anything, quote the big book, because we are going to stay right with the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous to the best that we can. There are a thousand and one ways to stay sober. A thousand and one ways. We're just gonna use this way. This way right here.

And we're gonna use the book as we go along. So if you're gonna come to a big book study, bringing a big book is like a good idea. But since we're not really doing a big book study, we're just doing the 12 steps, bringing a big book is a good idea. We got any questions? Questions are a good thing.

We're gonna be asked 10,000 times before the next 2 days are over, are there any questions? Because if you walk out of here without knowing what's going on, what good is that? What good is that? Any questions from the beginning? Any questions?

And now we're only questions about the topic in front of us. Okay? The questions are ground rules. That's where we're at. Questions.

Any questions on the ground rules? Any? What? No questions. Okay.

Now, let's open up our book to page 58. Now if I was if I was your sponsor, if I was if you wanna use that term, if I was working with you, if you were to come to me if you were to come to me, what did you say your name was? Morgan. Morgan. If Morgan was to come to me and say, would you be my sponsor?

Would you help me? In a fat chance. The first thing the first thing I would say to Morgan is, here, Morgan. Here's the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Read the first 103 pages.

The directions for the 12 steps are in the first 103 pages. I advise everybody in this room to read the big book thoroughly and over and many times. I advise you to read the first 164 pages because it's priceless. And the stories afterwards, it's absolutely priceless. But the directions for the 12 steps of Achaikhsanonymous are in the first 103.

And any necessary readings. Does that make sense? K. So what's the difference to the wives if you ain't worked the steps? Because to the wives is to who?

That's all. What's the difference if you read to the employers if you haven't worked the steps? Because who was to the employer written to? That's it. We're catching on quick here, ain't we?

We're we're doing good. So the directions I would say to Morgan, Morgan, read the first 103 pages. Morgan's response would be Sure. Fat chance. Well, why why why would you have me do that?

That's a normal question. Right. What the what what how what? Let's go to page 96. My job as a sponsor.

My job as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous to his work, the steps, page 96. You with me? 2nd paragraph down. Suppose. You with me?

Got it? Suppose now you're making your second visit to Morgan. Right? What was my first directions to Morgan? Read.

You got that? Read a 100 pages, Morgan. Morgan said I can do that. My second visit to Morgan now. Right?

He called me the next day. He said, okay. I did a 103 pages because you're a bright guy. Right? You're a bright guy.

You're not a right? Fat chance, see? Making our 2nd visit to Oregon. He has read this volume. What does that mean?

That's all. That's right. He's Reddit. He's Reddit because that's what I asked him to do. And in my second visit, according to the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, he says he has read this by him and what?

Now that doesn't say anything at all about meetings, does it? That doesn't say anything at all about trash detail, garbage cans, coffee cups, don't have no relationship. That doesn't say anything about 90 meetings in 90 days. What does it say? Well, what if Morgan is only sober a week?

Can he be prepared to go through the 12 steps? Yeah. Hell, yeah. And he should be prepared to go through the 12 steps if he's sober a week. He should be.

The program of recovery, the 12 steps of the program of recovery. Having had the experience myself, experience of what? Wait a minute. Let me see if I got this right. If I worked the 12 steps in my first 20 but 8 days of how how long is it here?

10 days? If I've worked the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous in 10 days, that means I can sponsor Morgan? No. Having had the experience myself Yes. Having had the experience of what?

Well, then I went through them in 10 day. He's over 3 days. He wants to go through them. Can I direct him through these 12 steps? Yes.

You you better Believe it. I can give Morgan what? Oh, man. Read the book. Much practical advice.

That's exactly right. Much practical advice about the 12 steps. Let him know that I am available if he wishes to make a decision. What step is that? Simple as that.

And to tell his story, what step is that? It's as simple as that, that my responsibility to is to take him and give him much practical advice about what? The foot. Twelve steps. And to be available to do a 3rd step and a 5th step with them because that's where you need somebody.

And in the 3rd step, they say, maybe you don't want nobody. But know that I'm available. But by no means, but by no, but, but, but, do not I should not insist if he prefers to consult someone else. Now do you see why I have done what I have done? Now do you see your job as a sponsor?

Do you see the directions I'm still gonna give Morgan? Makes sense? Nothing to do with me, is it? Just following directions, ain't I? Yes?

No? Maybe? Yeah. Any questions? No.

You brought a big book. He's ready. Alright. Let's go back to 58. Now, Morgan has read the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Yes? Yes. Okay. Second paragraph down. Our stories, a 2 word, one word, Our stories are disclosed in a general way, what we used to be like, what happened to what we are like now.

If you have decided you want what we have, who is making that decision? Me. You are. Or the person you're sponsoring, Morgan. Have you read this book?

Yes. Have you decided you want what we have? Yes. Whose decision is it? So when should Morgan start working the steps?

When he has what? When he has made the decision that he wants what we have. Does that make sense? Yes. If he's sober 3 days and he wants what we have, should I tell him, oh, no.

No. You gotta wait till I say you're ready. No. How do we know that? We just read it.

We just read it. If you have decided you want what we have, now here's the trick question. How is he gonna know what we have? He's read the pages. Morgan, you are sharp.

I take everything that God said about you. He's sharp as a tack. He's read the pages. He knows exactly what we have. And that's the only real way to know what we have.

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it, are you ready to go to any lengths to get it? Whose decision is it? It's your decision. It's the guy you're sponsoring's decision. It's nothing more difficult than that.

That's as simple as it is. You want what we got? Yeah. How do you know what we got? Well, I seen so and so in the meeting.

That's good, but this is what we got. This is what we got. And if you have decided you want what we have, and you're ready to go to any lengths to get it, and how does he know what lengths they are? That's big red. He's read the book.

He has read the book. He knows exactly what he's supposed to do, what's gonna be entailed. Man, I hate buying a car, and then 3 months later, find out that the prices just went up. Wait a minute. You didn't tell me, dad, when I bought the the car.

Well, I should've read the contract. No surprises. It's gotta be his decision. Then if he's decided he wants what we have and ready to go to analyze to get it, what is he going to do? How do we know that?

Oh, wait a minute. It doesn't say go to 90 meeting in 90 days. No. Doesn't say get a sponsor. Doesn't say keep your mouth shut.

I'll do your thinking for you. It doesn't say no sex for the 1st year. It doesn't say 90 meetings in 90 days. What does it say? That it's ready.

It says then you are ready to take certain steps, Morgan. Any questions? You can't have any, can you? Because what have we done? Read the book.

Read the book. That's all we've done is just read the directions. I haven't even given you an opinion yet. And if at the end of these sessions, I have not given you opinion at all, I have fulfilled my task. I have done what I'm supposed to do, give you facts so that everybody in this room is armed with facts.

No smoke, no mirrors, no opinions. K? Okay. So So it's his decision. He's decided what he wants.

It's his decision, and he's ready to go to any lengths to get it. Then it tells him what he's supposed to do, take certain steps, go to 59. 3rd paragraph down, 59. What does it say? Here are the steps we took.

So at the bottom of 58, it says, ready to take certain steps. They alleviate all mis misnomers. And any questions about what steps do they need, they tell you, here are the steps. That's that's that. What steps do you think they mean?

These steps. That's exactly right. These steps. These steps. Turn the page.

Page 60. Now please read everything in between. I I I we don't have time to read. It's not a big book study. All we're doing is following the directions.

There's gonna be very few times I will take you outside of the specific directions. Very few times. 2nd paragraph or 3rd paragraph down. Our description. You with me?

Yeah. Watch how important it is to read the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous if you're going to work the steps out of the big book. If you want to do a thousand other ways, you do not need this book, or pieces of it, or parts of it, but if you're going to follow the one way, the directions of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, then it's very important that you read it. It says, our descriptions are the alcoholic. What chapter is that in?

First four chapters. The chapter to the agnostic, where is that at? 1st 4 chapters. It's very important that you read this. It's very important that you read this.

And our per what? What? I didn't hear you. Were you talking to me? Oh.

Oh, it's a woman thing. Somebody get a mirror. So here we go. What? It was just it doesn't.

If we if we don't have fun doing this, it's gonna get boring, ain't it? It's gonna be boring, and I I might be something, but boring, I'm not. I might be honest, might not be honest, brave, clean, loyal, reverend, cheerful, or anything else, but I'm funny. Funny. A description of the alcoholic, first four chapters.

Chapter to the agnostic, first four chapters are personal adventures before and after. And Bill Wilson is the very first thing that comes out in the book book of Anomalous is a personal adventure. Makes clear 3 pertinent ideas. 3 pertinent ideas. A, that we're alcoholic and not manage our own life.

B, that probably no human power could ever relieve their alcoholism. C, that god could and would if he were sought. I love California. I love it. Being convinced.

Being convinced of what? A, b, and c. If you are convinced of a, b, and c, what step are you on? Woah. They call this pertinent ideas.

Are you telling me that these two steps are ideas? Yep. Yep. Yep. How long does it take you to have an idea?

I am not saying that his sponsor is wrong. I'm saying that there are a 1,001 ways to do it. We're just gonna do it this way. I have absolutely no argument with the way anybody else does it. I'm not here to say they're wrong, and I'm not here to say they're right.

I'm here to say this is what we're gonna do here. So that no matter what you think of me, you are going to be armed with facts, and no one can blow smoke up your, no one can What? Try again. No one can, I don't know how to express that without saying it? No one can hoodwink you.

Don't don't be wool over your eyes anymore. Okay. Three pertinent ideas. They're just ideas. Let me ask you this.

Let me ask you this. Do you need to read the first four chapters to be convinced of the 3 pertinent ideas? Oh, you'll have those on your own experience. Let's do the first three let's do the 3 pertinent ideas. A, that were alcoholic could not manage your own lives.

A, that were alcoholic could not manage your own lives. Alcoholic. Alcoholic. Let's go to XXVI. Doctor's opinion, XXVI.

XXVI. XX don't lose the page on 60. XXVI. Because this is gonna be the premise for everything that we're gonna do. This is gonna be the foundation for everything we're gonna do.

You with me on x x vi, first paragraph? Yes. We believe in if so suggested a few years ago that the action of the alcoholic what? Did I give the wrong number? X x v.

No. I did right. We believe and it's so suggested a few years ago. Now this is who's telling us this? The doctor.

The doctor. The doctor. This is a doctor's opinion. Doctor's opinion. Oh, for the non believers.

What kind of what kind of doctor? Podiatrist? Optometrist. Delivers babies? Why?

What? Gynecologist? Works on your feet? What? What?

Oh, let's go to page x x v I I I. X x I I I. Here's this doctor's credentials. Okay? This is the doctor.

He's a well known doctor. Well, so is Kevorkian. Right? Yeah. Right?

I mean, would I go to Kevorkian for my alcoholic problem? Yeah. But it says here his credentials. He's a chief physician. Now that gives him some cream's donut at a nationally prominent hospital specializing in now this means he's a specialist, alcoholic and drug addiction.

This guy, I would trust. I wouldn't want him to deliver my old lady's baby, but I would trust him with what he says about what? Alcohol. Alcoholism and drugs. You got you with me on this?

Yes. So here, I said, well, now we're at XXVI, so this guy's got credentials. You know he's not a he's not some kind of charlatan, not some kind of snake water salesman. This is a big time shoot a dime guy with big time shoot a dime credentials. He says this, we believe in the soul suggested a few years ago that the action of the chronic on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy.

Now pay real close attention that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never, never occurs in the average temperate drinker. If you have ever had, ever once, the phenomenon of craving, what are you? Alcoholic. According to who? Doctor.

Doctor's opinion. And he's a big time shoot a dime guy. Yes, no, Megan? Yes. Absolutely.

Absolutely. You see what we're trying to say here? We're not giving you no kind of take this on faith. We're not doing faith yet. We will get to faith later on.

Right now, we're dealing with facts. This doctor says, if you've ever had the phenomenon of craving, you are an alcoholic. Let's go back to 60. That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. Alcoholic.

All you gotta do is identify just once the phenomenon of craving that, then you fit into what category? Alcoholic. If you can see the phenomenon of craving in your life, it's ollie ollie and free from there on in. You do not have to chew to not have to guess from here on in. Yes.

I am one of them. Yeah. Okay. Alcoholic. Hey.

What triggers the phenomenon of craving? Drink. Just the first drink. Nothing else triggers the phenomenon of drink. Nothing else.

The first drink, the drink of alcohol, alcohol and alcohol and alcohol is the only thing that triggers the phenomenon of craving. Nothing else triggers a phenomenon of craving. If I take a drink of alcohol right now, I'm sober 26 years, 9 months 24 days. If I take a drink of alcohol right now, what's gonna happen to me? If you're gonna crave one.

I'm going to develop the phenomenon of craving. Why? Because I am an alcoholic, and this doctor says that's what happens to alcoholics when they drink. Does that make sense to you? Yes.

I think so. I think so. I think so. So. I have a sickness and illness of malady.

Something wrong. An allergy. An allergy. That when I drink alcohol, I respond. My response to alcohol is the phenomenon of craving.

That's my response to alcohol. Anybody here got any allergies? Yes. What are you allergic to? Grass.

Grass. Any other allergies? Any other allergies? What happens when you take penicillin? She gets a rash.

What happens when you you get around grass? Get a rash. Get a rash. Any other allergies? Cat.

Cat. Bee stings. What happens when you get around bee stings? Die. You get very sick and die.

What are you allergic to? Cats. Cats. What happens when you get around cats? Every day.

The what? Why is eyes watering? You break out in tears. Sounds like a San Diego freeway. Did you ever drive down a freeway?

I've never seen more women cry and drive at the same time. I I call it the highway of tears. I wanna stop the car, baby. What's the matter? Okay.

Okay. You have an allergy to penicillin. What is the allergic reaction? Grass. You have an allergy to?

Beacings. Beacings. What is your allergic reaction? Sick and die. You have an allergy to grass.

What's your allergic reaction? You all have alcoholism. What's your allergic reaction? Phenomenon craving. Phenomenon craving.

Don't forget that. Very important. A, that you're alcoholic and could not manage your own life. How how then can you prove to yourself if you have have any doubt that you are an alcoholic? Take a drink.

Who said that? Right. Take a drink, and you will respond differently than the average temperate drinker. Now I ask you this, do you really need to take a drink to find that out, or have you taken enough drinks? Yeah.

Yeah. Hey. Any questions so far? Could not manage your own lives. This can be a little bit difficult.

If we were sitting somewhere in Shaker Heights or or Youngstown no. Not there. Or or somewhere San Francisco. But look around where you're at. Have you been managing well?

No. Okay. We're not talking in front of that. Okay. So you know you cannot safely take a drink of alcohol because you developed a phenomenon of craving, and that means you are an alcoholic.

You look around at your surroundings, and that means you could not manage your own life well because you ain't doing so hot. That's as simple as it is. B, there probably no human power could have relieved your alcoholism. Oh. Gonna take the test.

Gonna take the test. They're broken. Back. Just stay in the back here, buddy. Who cares?

We're not going back. Alright. Alright. 5th of whiskey. 5th of whiskey.

30 shots of whiskey. 30 shots. How many's in the 5th? 30. That's right.

I got some good drinkers in here. I like men who are knowledgeable. 30 shots of whiskey. We're gonna take the test to find out we're alcoholic. We're gonna take one shot of whiskey a day.

Just one shot of whiskey a day for the next month. It's worth the test, David, to find out if you are or are you not? Now that doesn't mean we're gonna take one today and none for the next 7 days and then 7 all at once. That doesn't mean we're gonna drink all 30 now and then not have none for the next 29 days. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. We are gonna take a shot of whiskey.

Boom. Before dinner. Like, an Like a cocktail. Like a cocktail. Like an appetizer.

Do you think you could do that? Just one. Just one. Why don't you think you can do that? Our history.

Our history has told us we cannot do that. And if you read the first four chapters, the first four chapters explain in a great detail why you cannot do that. Thirty shots of whiskey, can't do it. My past has proven I can't do it. It's Saturday night.

Let's take the test. Here's what the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous says. Start treat start drinking and quit abruptly. The hell's that mean? We're gonna be done here at 4.

Take your shower, shave, put on that stuff, put on all that stuff that you wear, put on that gold you've been hiding, slide into them blue jeans. That thing. And go down to wherever it is you drink, and be there by 8 o'clock. Be there by 8 o'clock. Show up at 8 o'clock.

Are you ready? Man. Get that stuff on. That gold on. And start drinking.

Start drinking. Drink as much as you want, drink whatever you want, do whatever you wanna do, shoot the juice, shoot the pool, shoot pool, shuffle puck, pool. Play the jukebox. Dance. Do whatever you want.

But you're gonna have one thought in your mind. I'm gonna leave at 11 o'clock and show up for the 11 quarter to 11 and show up for the 11 o'clock nukes. You're gonna start drinking and quit abruptly. This is the test. I'm going to start drinking and quit abruptly.

I'm gonna be home by 11 o'clock. Can you do that? Can you do that? How do you know that? Our past has proven that we cannot do that.

Do you agree? Yes. No problem at all. I got 30 shots of whiskey sitting in front of me. The second pertinent idea is that no human power could've relieved my alcoholism.

I already know that if I take a drink of alcohol, what am I gonna get? Craven. I'm a phenomenon of craving simply because I'm alcoholic. 30 shots of whiskey in front of me. No human power.

Remember this. 30 shots of whiskey. In comes my ma. She just hit the lottery, $15,000,000, And she's gonna because I'm her baby boy. It's gonna split it right down the middle with me.

There's $4,000,000 in 2 big hefty bags. Here here, honey. Can I now safely, not not do you want to, can I now safely take the first drink without developing the phenomenon of craving? How do you know that? To do it, I'll pray.

Our past has taught us that this is true. You with me? Yeah. Thirty shots of whiskey, here I am. Thirty shots of whiskey, my brother walks in with the keys to a brand spanking new Lincoln Continental 4 door convertible and a tank full of mud tank full of gas.

Tank full of gas. And he says, here. Here, brother. It's all yours. Free, clear, and paid for.

Can I now safely take the first drink of alcohol without developing the phenomenon craving? How do you know that? Your past has proven to you that you cannot safely take the first drink without developing that phenomenon of craving. Here comes Lani Anderson. She's free.

She's free now, you know. Yeah. And she likes men with no hair. We know this. We know this.

And Lonnie says, sit right here on my lap, big boy, and I'll do anything you want, anytime you want, and I will never leave your side. Can I now safely take the first drink of alcohol and not develop the phenomenon of craving? No. How do you know that? The past.

Your past has proven that. What what could I give you? Could your mama give you? Could your boss give you? Could your brother give you?

Could anybody give you that would enable you to safely take the first drink? Nothing. Then there is no human power. Then there is no human power on the face. And, intelligently, you're sitting here and saying that's true.

That's true. Yes, I agree. There is nothing on the face of the earth that we could give you that would allow you to safely take the first drink. Yes? No?

Yes. Watch this. Sitting here at the dumb guy approach, Saturday afternoon at 1:35, you know that to be a fact. And I swear to God, a month from now, when you got a minimum wage job, you got that first check, you got a 92 Dodge with ball headed tires and a broad with no teeth. You forget everything we just talked about and believe now.

I'm okay now. I got a $110 and a tank of gas, and a piece of paper that says I graduated from. Questions? I'm serious. I'm 3.

I know you are. Let me put it to you this way. Let me put it to you very simply. Has there anybody here ever took a shot of whiskey a day in their life? No.

At least 1? Of course, you have. Yeah. Does that mean you're gonna get rid of or not get rid of HIV or you're never gonna get it? No.

No. So if we wanna play hypothetical, we can play until we drink again. If we wanna do with facts, then we're gonna deal with these facts. And I'll tell you, if you work with these steps, and I mean this, the chances of you getting HIV or VIH or any of that other stuff is really, really reduced. I don't mean to be a wise guy, but we can play hypothetical all day long.

Let's deal with facts. Facts. Any questions about b? Are you convinced about b? If you're convinced of a, then I'll a conundrum in life.

B, they'd probably know human power could have really evolved. C, they'd got couldn't would if he were sought. There are 2 ways. There are 2 ways that you can become convinced of c, 2 of the most popular ways. The first one is to read the first four chapters of the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

And that is an attempt, as we read earlier, to convince you of that. And the second way is ask any alcoholic who's ever worked the steps what kind of power he has. Alcoholic who's ever worked the steps what kind of power he has, and he will tell you that God could, and God would, and God has, and I've sought him. Any questions on c? No.

Now we're getting into faith now, aren't we? Yeah. Now we're getting into faith, and that's gonna be the key to our recovery, faith and facts. Faith and facts. Being convinced we're now at step 3.

And that means if you are convinced of these 3 pertinent ideas, you are now at step 3. Now we're gonna do some reading here, which is something I really don't like to do. But the fact of the matter is, there's such a massive, grave misinterpretation about step 3, and I, unfortunately, have perpetuated that by not doing this reading, and it's very important that we do do this reading. So let's read it. Because at the very last line of that paragraph, it says this, just what do we mean by that and just what do we do?

So they're going to explain in great detail just what do we mean? Somehow, it got to be like, god wants me to do this, and what is god's will for me? And I had to go talking to a friend of mine today. She says, I don't know what god's will is for me. I want this guy, and he got her, and they and I got and I don't know what god's will is for me.

Just what do we mean by that? Just what do we do? Here's what it says. The first requirement, going into the 3rd step. The 3rd step is nothing more than an idea.

Again, once again, an idea, a change of thinking. We are gonna have an idea. The first requirement is that being convinced that any life run on self will can hardly be a success. That's what you're asking you to do. Just look at your life or anybody else's life around you and realize that being a self willed person has not been such a successful idea.

Got it? That's all the requirement is. It says, on that basis now we're gonna read. That was the direction we gave you. That was a direction going into 3rd step.

Let's read because I think it's very important you know exactly what we're talking about. It says that on that basis, we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. So if you ever get in a collision, ever get in a collision with something or somebody, know that you are running your life on self propulsion. Know that you are doing not what God wants you to do, but what you want you to do. Just know that from the big book of Alcoholist Anonymous, do not take my word for it.

Read the book. Here's what it says. This is us. Very important. Because it says, what's what do we mean by that?

Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show. Do you ever catch yourself trying to dictate to someone what they should do? Even though your motives are good, you are becoming a director. Our job is to be an actor. We're forever trying to arrange things in peoples and players.

And if they would only do what we tell them to do, bing, everything would be fine. Everybody would be happy in and including me. Isn't it strange that the advice we have for so many of our friends also includes a reward for us? You think I don't pay attention? Life would be wonderful.

What usually happens what usually happens is the show doesn't cut off. He begins to treat life. He begins to feel that life doesn't treat him right. He decides to exert himself. Now, remember, we're talking about a third step and God's will.

Our job is not to exert our self and force anybody to do anything. Do you understand that? They're giving you that. Just what do we mean? We're on the what do we mean part.

Just what do we mean? He becomes angry, indignant, and self pitying. Understand that if you become angry with someone or something, indignant with someone or something or self pitying, you are running your life. It has little to do with the power of god in the sun rays coming down and touching your soul and all that other crap. This is action on our part.

Intelligent action. Hardly any faith involved here, is there? Yet who? It is is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things that we want? And does not his reaction make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can out of the show?

Is he not, in his best moment, a producer of confusion rather than harmony? And if you could look at your life and see that we do this, whether it's with your kids, your husband, your wife, your neighbors, your friends, there are some people who can walk in and cause everybody to wanna shake hands and hug and say I'm sorry. And there's some people who wanna walk in a room, and everybody wants a fist fight. The choice is yours, but know this, that when you start with this arguing, when you start with this demanding, we are no longer doing what god wants us to do, we're doing what we want to do. That's all we're reading here.

So when it comes to turning our will in life over to the care of god, it's that I am not going to guide you, direct you, force you, argue with you. I will no longer push my myself upon anybody here. Does that make sense to you? That's why working these steps are your decision, not mine. My job is to make the information available.

Here's what it says. It says this, 62. Selfishness and self centeredness that we think is the root of your trouble. Now this is at step 3. The trouble that shuts you off from god is selfishness and self centeredness.

That's the root of all your troubles and all your problems. It says, driven by a 100 forms of fear, self delusion, self seeking, self pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. And we just read that when they see us being selfish, they wanna try to snatch something from the show too. So we're gonna stop being as producer of confusion. We're gonna stop being that person.

And when we see this, selfishness, self centeredness, fear, self delusion, self seeking, self pity, we must know that this is not god's will for us. This is causing more harm than good, more selfishness than service. Simple, isn't it? Can you understand what not to do to do god's will? Quit pushing people around.

Quit trying to get shit. Quit trying to take shit. Quit trying to be the boss. Here's what it says. It says that sometimes they hurt us.

Now, this is We're going into We're warming we're warming into the 4th step now. We're warming into it. Sometimes, they hurt us, and that's gonna be our first question in the 4th step. Seemingly without provocation. I didn't do nothing.

I didn't do no I don't know why you're so mad. I don't know why she ain't called me. I don't know why they ain't talking to me. I don't know why they're I don't know why they're picking on me. I don't know why.

Seemingly, we have put ourselves in a position. But we invariably find, and this is our inventory, that some end of the time in the past, we have made decisions based on selfless, later placed us in a position we hurt, to be hurt. So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. And this is in still step 3, is that we want you to understand that when you push people around, when you're selfish, when you're self centered, you put yourself in a position to be heard. And when you put yourself in that position, you're no longer serving God, you're serving who?

Yourself. Yourself. It's as simple as that. This is a lot of reading, a lot more reading than I care to do. But I can't believe how misunderstood this step is.

And we're gonna spend a lot of time doing it. Here's what it says. It says, they arise out of ourselves. And the alcoholic is an extreme example of self will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. This is now listen to this.

Listen to this. Above everything, this is only the 3rd step, above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness or it kills us. Why does it kill us? Listen to this. We must, or it kills us, god makes that possible.

And there often seems no way entirely to get rid of self without his help. Neither could we reduce our self centeredness or trying on our own power. We had to have God's help. Because if we shut off God with selfish and self centeredness, we are subject to drink, and when we drink for an alcoholic, what do we do? We die.

Oh, not quickly. That's the bad part about it. If we died quickly, 10 day would be 3 days. We die slowly, Very slowly. We didn't get here one day, we worked our way down here, and that's a death in itself.

Any questions? Very difficult. This is I really this is the first time I've ever done this, but I see the need for it. Is that, what does this mean? And what we just described to you, what our running our life means, with what do we do about it?

Well, now comes that. Now comes that. So when you catch yourself doing all these things, selfish, self sullen, running your own life, pushing people around, trying to get something from them, trying to make a range and get everything done. Anybody here ever been in the penitentiary? What a dumb question.

But shoot. Recently, last 5 years, 10 years, they have phones in the penitentiary now. It's true. It's true. I know you don't believe that.

They got phones, and you listen to these guys on the phone. And here's what I want you to do. I want you to call them up, and I want you to and put the money in the bank, and I don't want you that I am sitting in the penitentiary telling this woman who never broke a a law in her life what to do about running her life. There's something wrong with that picture. And we're the producers of confusion rather than harmony.

Does that make sense to you now? Okay. This is the how and the why of it. Now now remember that line because we're we're documenting everything. Just what do we mean by this now?

Here's just everything. Just what do we mean by this? Now here's just what do we do. Here's the just what do we do. This is the how and the why of it.

1st of all, we, you and I, have to put playing God. And how do we play God? We just described that, didn't we? We spent 15 minutes of valuable time describing how we play God. Arranging, manipulating, selfish, self centered, jealousy, suspicion, bitterness, whatever terms we used here, that's how we play god.

And now we say we're willing to stop doing that. You got it? It didn't work. Why should we quit playing God? Because it didn't work.

Next after in his drama life, God was going to be our director. What's our job? Acting. Actor. What's his job?

Direct. That means actors don't direct. We gotta quit giving orders. You got that? Yes.

That's what they're saying here. They said he is going to be the principal. We're gonna be his agent. He's gonna tell us what to do. We're gonna carry out the directions, and we already know what not to do.

To find out what to do, we're going to work the rest of these steps. Or or hopefully, we're going to work the rest of these steps. But what not to do, we already know, don't we? We read that. We already know what not to do.

You gotta do this. I don't have to do that. Well, you better do that. I'm only saying this for your own good. Really?

Why can't you get your hands off of me? He is the father we are as children, and being such obedient children as we have been in the past. We'll have a tough time with that one, won't we? It's a simple idea, and the concept of this key this concept this concept of God is gonna be God, we're gonna be the actor. He's gonna be the father, we're gonna be the children.

He's gonna be the principal, we're gonna be the agent. That concept is the new and triumphant art through which we will pass to freedom, and that's why we spent so much time on this today. Because if you do not have that concept, you have not built this arch. If you do not have this concept, you are not going through to freedom. And any day go on the face of the earth can tell you what a keystone is.

What's the keystone in the arch? It holds the whole thing together. The whole thing is held together by that keystone. Your whole program is held together by step 3. Your whole program is held together by God is God and I ain't.

Ate. Your whole program, your whole twelve steps, your whole life, your whole key to freedom is held together by that I am going to do what god wants me to do instead of, my doing what I want. Selfishness and self centeredness has to go. Any questions? Any questions?

Pretty simple now, I hope. Like I said, I never did this before, but I I I I see that I've been neglect in that area. Any questions? Any questions? This is the new and triumphant arch, the keystone for what we're going through.

For when we took such position, all sorts of remarkable things happened. Now let's go down 63 to the second paragraph. With those thoughts in mind, the the the directions are really here's the directions. The first requirement is being convinced that any life running on itself will can hardly be a success. The second requirement is that we must quit playing God.