The steps on saturday afternoon at the CPH12v3 conference in Copenhagen, Denmark

He's so rigid. There's a requirement before you do the 3rd step prayer. We talk about it. Are you convinced that life from itself will can hardly be a success? It's a yes or no answer.

Pretty simple. 3rd step prayer, not able to read the whole thing. Understand what it says. God offer myself to thee and deal with me and do with me as I wilt. Relieve me of the bondage itself that I may better do thy will.

Again, did it say relieve me of the bondage of the alcohol or cocaine? No. Because that's not the problem. It's our selfishness that's the difficulties, so victory over these are gonna bear witness to those I would help. Mhmm.

Take away my difficulties so victory over these are gonna bear witness to those I would help of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life. May I do thy will always. I mean how cool is that prayer? See, but this is what we're supposed to be going back into meetings talking about folks. I'm gonna bear witness to you how my my life has changed as a result of working the steps.

Makes sense? I hear people all the time talking about, Christian say to the podium, you speak sound like all these people should be beating pep rallies. Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Thank you. They should. They should. Because my life is not the same as it was 17 years ago. It's not the same as it was.

I mean, 2 weeks into this my life had started to change and that's the stuff I'm supposed to be going back into meeting and sharing with the newcomer. Because all that newcomer wants is some hope. Can I share some hope? Or do I just wanna share a few war stories with you and get a little identification going? Big deal.

You know? We're all bozos on this bus. Have we got that figured out yet? Yes? Okay.

Now can you share some hope? How can I get off this damn runaway bus? See that's what we're supposed to try to do. It's the coolest. What I Myers is talking about a 32 page page 4 step guide.

I've got an 81 page 4 step guide sitting on my desk at work. Eighty one pages. We have, just a few minutes here and I I wanna kinda show you what this is about about talking about the score step. Again, we were talking about it earlier. We we share the podium with lots of different speakers and lots of speakers that wanna really make this this step business quite complicated.

It's just not that complicated. In fact, I'm gonna say this from the I really don't care how you're working these steps as long as you're working. Everybody wants to, you know, they want to complicate it so much that most of us just lose interest after a while. It's it's to be more weight than it's worth. I I it's as simple.

This 4 step stuff. You you sit in a meeting now anywhere in the states and you sit in the meeting and say I'm working on a 4 step and everybody goes they groan, you know, like, oh. I know what you're going through. It's like, yeah buddy you've missed the boat. A 4th step is the most freeing step I've ever done in my life.

It was the coolest and it took me a couple of days to knock out. Once once I I got some instructions on how to do it, it just it takes you longer than a few hours to do a 4 step. You you are so full of yourself that's not even funny. Yeah. What is this?

It's in the podium. I it's in the stairs. It's a little deal. I wanna show you something. One of the things that the problem is in this, in this work, this ego that I grew up there, the whole the whole purpose of all the steps is to deflate our ego.

I don't I don't want to be, less than you. I spent my life looking down at the floor. I don't want to be less than you, but I don't have any right to be better than you either. And if I'm sitting up here looking looking down at you, I don't like this podium. I'd rather be on the floor with you, guys but if I think by some way that I'm better than you because I'm 17 years sober or better looking than some of you I am so wrong at that, you see?

I just wanna be on the same level with the rest of you knuckleheads That's all I want. A man among men is what we talk about. I don't I don't I've spent my life walking into groups of people and either feeling less than or better than. You know what I'm saying? I started out drinking in these big cool bars in Houston, Texas.

These nice big, you know, dress up and nice going there and nice and I ended up breaking in like at a bar called the Jolly Rogers in in Lake Dallas, Texas. Can y'all imagine this? A bar named the Jolly Rogers and I'm walking in there with how many ass weapons do you think I took in that bar? You know, pirate jokes abounded. Abounded.

Why am I in that bar? It's a seedy bar. It's a terrible bar. It's the kind of bar where you lean over and peep on the floor and the guy throws you a towel to clean it up. You know?

And it's it's like it's but I felt superior in that bar. You you follow? My ego is is she. This ego can go from everybody thinks somebody that's egotistical is man, he's just so full of himself. You with me?

But look, follow this follow the thread down at the other end of the spectrum. And now you've got this you've got this I'm just a worthless piece of shit. I have I have many I don't adolescents. I'll I'll feel better in a minute. These goddamn victims.

These victims. Victim. And the AA is full of victims. It is not it is not okay to be a victim. It is on the same spectrum with the egotistical son of a gun who thinks he doesn't need to do it because he's better than everybody.

I can take those egomaniacs and bust them in a heartbeat. I can deal with them all day long, but I'm gonna tell you something folks. Having been a victim all my life, I know how to work that system. Y'all hear this? They are the toughest people to deal with.

You met you with me? About the time you wanted to start doing some work? Well, I I started working on the 4th step and all of my childhood memories started coming back and so And so what do we do? Oh okay sorry we'll work on that next month. You go take care of yourself.

Take a little bubble bath now and everything's gonna be okay. You see we've got understand. Some of you are looking at me like I've just slapped you. You think I'm making fun of that? No.

I'm saying a 4th step is completely different than that. A 4th step is not about looking at your history and all the bad things that ever happened to you. A 4th step is a fact finding mission. We're it's an inventory so that we can get rid of the stuff that's not working. You're with us?

You guys take the light out of context of the book and think that this is some kind of a life story. It is not. Let me say this from the podium here in beautiful Denmark. I don't give a rat's ass about your history. History.

It is boring. You're enamored with it. You can't wait to talk about it. But but that's what we've done all our life. Remember the line selfish and self centered to the core?

You know? Let's talk about me for a while. You know? That's why I no. We're gonna go in here.

We're gonna look at this force that in this back finder. I was in, over in Seattle, near Seattle a couple weeks ago, and there's this old guy about 40 years 46 years sobriety. He was amazing. He's old old coop, And he got up this old geezer and he's sharing about his story. When he first got sober, the 1st week he got sober, his sponsor met him him at the job site and said, buddy, it's time that we get started on the 4th step.

You with us? And everybody in the room, it was about 200 people, and everybody laughed. They thought that was the most funniest thing they'd ever heard. You know, that was the that was the, like, the punch line of the of the night, you know, and only people that weren't laughing were all the little big book thumpers that were sitting on the back row with me. And we're looking at each other like, what's the joke there?

Because he's exactly on time. 1st week of sobriety, great time to work on the 4th step. Let's finish this work. Inventory of this. It's a little 4 column in the book.

It shows 3. You could explode it to 4. A little 4 column resentment inventory. Let me make a list of the people I'm pissed at. There's a little simple fear inventory.

I'm sorry. Two columns. I'm afraid of this because of this. That's it. You with me?

Simple. You wanna do it an 8 column theory inventory? Go ahead. It was just looking at the fear. Sex inventory got nothing to do with sex.

It has to do with how am I treating the opposite sex. You with me? Beth could do my friend from England. She could do a sex inventory and I could sit down and hear her sex inventory and neither one of us would ever blatch because we're not there to talk about the act of sex I don't care if you're poking sheep It's got nothing to do The book doesn't say it lists all the terrible things you've done when you were loaded acting out sexually. It says, where did you pee people treat people with disrespect?

Where did you unjustifiably aroused jealousy, suspicion, and bitterness? Makes sense? We're gonna we're gonna drop this stuff down and we're gonna look at it. Why is it that I treat all the women the same? I think everybody's the same.

It's not. They're all the same. I treat them the same way. What? I need to stop treating them that way.

I need to start treating them with respect, and I can see that from that sex inventory. It's so quite simple. We can sit down later this afternoon, and I can show you exactly what I'm talking about. Resentment inventory is the one you guys get stuck on because you're so busy trying to make this life story. Make a list.

Let me ask you a question. We go in the store next door and we say we say, we wanna do an inventory of your store. What are we gonna do? What? Look at the garbage and this crap they threw away?

Or we gonna look at the stuff on the shelves? Inventory is current shit. Current stuff. I make this list, and I'm spending weeks. What are you doing?

I'm working on my horse step. What are you doing? I'm working on my horse step. 6 months late. I'm working on my horse No you're not.

You're spinning your wheels because the truth of the matter is you don't really think you're one of us. If you got a first step experience and you understand the the necessity to have a spiritual experience, you're gonna get this stuff cleaned out and you're gonna get it cleaned out in a hurry. I need you to look at current resentments. Get guys sit down. I heard a guy from the podium one time.

If you haven't got at least 200 resentments on your inventory, you're not doing a thorough job. That's that is rubbish. Most of us in this room don't even know 200 people, much less resent them. Come on, guys. What's a resentment?

A resentment is an anger you're holding on to. You know, your 2nd grade teacher embarrassed you in class. You think about that 2nd grade teacher and say, boy, she was a loser. And you go on to the next one. Why are you gonna put her down and do a 4 column inventory on that teacher?

Wait. Does does she really piss you off? It was 40 years ago. Why you wasting your time? You think this is an exercise in writing?

It's it's not. I'd rather see you cats sit down with a piece of paper and write down your 10 biggies right now. My employer, my significant other, my kids, the people that are driving you crazy right now driving down the road you're thinking grinding your teeth on. Those are the ones we're supposed to write down. If you've got to sit there and think and meditate, oh, God, please show me the people I'm resentful.

You have to have God's help to show you the people you're resentful at. You got it, guys. It's the forefront in your head. Write that stuff down. You got 10 resentments?

Write it down. People, institutions, and principles that you're pissed at. It is stop making a big deal out of this. If you think of somebody 6 months from now, do another little inventory on it. It's just no big deal.

I I I put the guy's name in the first column. 2nd column, I look at I I list why I'm pissed. Right? I'm I'm pissed at her. Why?

She should know. Again. 3rd column I look at the areas of my life that are affected my my my ambitions, my security, you know my self esteem This hurt me. You with me? 1st column, victim.

2nd column, victim. 3rd column, victim. Can we stop now? We finally get to the 4th column where we where we look at our part. Our part.

Where was I selfish to the core? Where have I been fearful? Where have I been dishonest? You with us? See, if I can see that I've got a little part of this, I can get free.

If if I continue to blame them for why I can't be happy 1st column, her. 2nd column, she said no. 3rd column, you with me? Affected all 7 areas of my life because I'm totally affected by sex. Dig?

Unlike my spiritual brother Okay 4th column, what's my part? What's what's the truth? Why did she say no? Well, could've been the way you act acted. Right?

How did you ask? How did you treat her? You with this? Remember that thing you said that wasn't quite appropriate? Appropriate?

Mhmm. Mhmm. You taking taking her needs into consideration, you selfish bastard. You know? Are you are you no.

No. No. No. I to see my partner in the 4th column and I get immediately free from the resentment. She's not hurting me.

She's not out to get me. It's all in my head. Remember what the book said? These these things people have done to us, fancy the real? Most of us in here are running from stuff that didn't even happen.

It happened in here. Isn't that right? And we just look at this stuff and we can get free. Everything in my life I can look at in that 4 column inventory and I can get free from. And I don't care if it's if it's a simple resentment about a boss that fired me or molestation.

You can look at your part and get free. We can stop being a victim. It's the it's the it's the most unbelievable exercise I've ever done in my life. I'm gonna say this again. We'll move on.

Victims don't get sober. And I'm gonna talk about this in the morning, but I wanna tell you right now, I'm so honored to to know everyone in here, and I am so clear that so many of us have been hurt. And I'm not making light of any of that. I'm just saying that hurt is not who you are. You're a beautiful child of God.

You're a powerful individual. Who some bad things happened to? And who's gonna get who's gonna get past that? Some of you cats are waiting for people to come up out of the grave to apologize to you for shit they did to you. Let me let me read the first dimension of this to you.

It ain't gonna happen. What do we do? We got this inventory. Maybe it's got 20 names on it. Maybe it's got 50 names.

Who who knows? We got a little fear inventory, we got the sex inventory, we get with our sponsor, we dump the stuff. And the sponsor's gonna do one thing, he's gonna help you see your truth. He's gonna sleep through the first three columns like you go on and on. I need to explain this one.

You know what I mean? Why do you talk about it? You know? And then he's gonna wait patiently for, hopefully, for you to get to the 4th column so you could own your part. See?

How did you place yourself in that position to be hurt? See? This guy can do this. When I sit down and do a fist step, I've got a piece of paper in front of me, and I'm making 2 lists. 1, I'm I'm making an 8 step list for you.

People that I think you possibly need to make amends to, and I'm also making a character defect list in 6 and 7. You'll you'll follow us? So if I hear something that keeps repeating itself, the fear, the dishonesty, your your laziness, sloth, I'm gonna make this little list over here. So because I right after this this step, we're gonna do 6 and 7. Ain't that right?

The book says right after. 3rd step first says we launched out our course of vigorous action to do the 4th step. We finish it, done with this step. 6 and 7, an hour later. I'm working on 6 and 7.

It's 2 freaking paragraphs in the book, guys. How much is there to work on? You're not the one that's gonna remove these character defects. I don't care what anybody says. It's God that removes those character defects.

You just gotta be clear on what they are so you can be conscious of it when it takes place. I've got my list in 6 and 7. You with us? I've got my 8 step list. I took it from my 5th step.

I've got it ready to go. I sit with my sponsor, and we're ready to go make amends. Boom. Boom. Boom.

Quickly. The steps in 9 days. Doctor Bob took 2 weeks. Who in the hell do you think you are? Oh, really?

You just think you're extra bad? I mean you know what? Damien? This is ridiculous. This is ridiculous.

6 and 7 we do that. We got the 8 step list. We'll go make you amends. We're kicking butt. We're praying and meditating already because we're my sponsor had me doing that from day 1.

We're talking about prayer and meditation. We're gonna touch on that after lunch, and we're gonna spend most of the little time we have this afternoon. We're gonna talk about working with others because we believe quite clearly like a lot of y'all that it's it's the most important step that's overlooked. And then we're gonna do a little q and a. That sound good?

So right now we're gonna go to lunch. Mother's placement. Welcome. My name is Chris Braemer. I'm an alcoholic.

One of those recovered alcoholics. Yeah. Great break. Interesting. Thanks for lunch.

It was good. Don't have a clue what I ate. It was excellent. It was excellent. I tell you.

Alright. Interesting talking to some of y'all this, for some of you that weren't here this morning, I wanna cover a little bit what we talked about and kind of make sure we get all back on the same page and then we wanna kinda spend most of this hour talking about working with others. But, interesting when we sit and visit with you guys after we talk from a podium and y'all laugh at the right times and nod your head at the right times, we think they're they're getting it. And you walk off the podium and it's like, let me ask you a question. It's like, what are you hearing me say?

You know? Because like, what? Do I want you to go back into your AA groups, and the first time somebody says something that's not in the big room, you go eat their ass and pick a fight and, you know, you can't do you know, it's not buddy, that's not what we're doing here. That's not what we're saying. We're saying each in our own individual ways, we're gonna carry this message in our own ways.

What we're trying to ask you to possibly look at is some absolute truth here. 1, recovery rate 70 years ago was damn good. Recovery rate today is damn poor. You you all hear this? That's a fact.

That's true. Most people that come to Alcoholics Anonymous don't stay in Alcoholics Anonymous. And any of you guys that have been around longer than 6 months have watched this door go both ways, in and out and in and out. Why aren't they staying? Is is like is it etched in stone how long it's supposed to take to work these steps?

Absolutely not. You got some guy that's all detoxed out and he's loaded on pills and it's just it's just maybe you can't work him through quite as fast as somebody that's that's, maybe not as physically damaged. But but this idea that anything goes and you can work this through I mean, we were laughing about it at lunch. This line that we just read and read reading how it works, it's like, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. You with us?

That's always translated take your time to work the steps. That's that's just that's a freak to me. You know, I was sitting there talking of myers. My wife wants me to be thorough washing the dishes. She doesn't like food left on the dishes.

I mean, it's kind of small of her I know but you know she wants me to be thorough when I but she doesn't want me to take all night doing it. I think it's a great analogy. If the spiritual experience we just read it in the ABC's ABC. That no human power can fix what's wrong with me. Not a sponsor can fix what's wrong with me.

Therapy, treatment, nothing's gonna fix what's wrong with me. That God could and would if he were sought. Our only job is to get you cats connected to this to the to this power as fast as we can. If you've got 6 months to sit out there and work these steps and just get comfortable, welcome. Have a nice life.

I mean, I don't wanna split hairs with this. I don't wanna beat this to death, but I'm saying I'm sorry, guys. Thank God Bill Wilson didn't have that information. Thank God Bill will Bill Wilson worked those steps in 9 days. He's a detox working on his night step from the hospital when he has his barn burning spiritual experience.

Doctor Bob. Remember the story doctor Bob? Finishes his last drink on June 10th. Drives around town, makes his amends. The one step he wouldn't do.

He makes the amends. Never drank again. 2 weeks. But but you can sit here and tell me about the way you do it in your country, where we take 6 months to finish it. Well, I think that's a bit presumptuous of all of us.

And then when the poor cat relapses, we wanna drop it back in their lap. Well, they just didn't want it. They just weren't ready. Sure they were. Maybe they didn't have the tools to get well.

Maybe that that's pretty rigid. I'm and I apologize if I'm offending somebody, but I mean, you know, you you can justify why your way is okay, and you have every right to do it your way. But what we had to start looking at when when I got into the treatment center deal 10 years ago, we started looking at our very poor success rate. And one of the reasons was people were dragging their feet to finish this work. It's working with others that keeps us sober.

That's what the book says. But we won't let you work with others until you've worked the steps, but you can't work the steps until you've been sober again. Guys, do you see something wrong here? It's like holding the carrot out. One day, you'll be well.

One day, you'll be well. That day needs to be today. That's why we're simplifying this. That's why the steps were intended. They're so simple.

Ask a question, do the work. Ask a question, do the work. Boom. You're finished. I've run the work the steps the rest of my life.

I'm 17 years sober. I do a couple of 4 steps every year. You're with us? Every time I sponsor somebody, I take them through the work. I do the work myself.

It's the coolest. Thank god I had sponsorship early on though that didn't let me sit on my butt and just gradually get sick again, and I'd go out and get a drink. That's all I got right now. You wanna do this? I think we're gonna do this.

Yeah. Just type on my pants. Howdy, Howdy, buckers. My name is Myers Rayburn, and I'm an alcoholic. I guess by now you know that.

I I have some stuff that I I made some copies of it. I'm gonna leave it with some of these cats that you guys can make copies of it. But my hope is is that y'all make copies of this stuff, and then you can sit down some cold night, which is every night, and and and look through this stack of stuff and you can go that shit, that shit, that it and then just throw it away and then maybe there'll be something in there that you'll like and you'll keep and it'll be important to you on down the road. These are just things that I've collected over, the long haul, about various things. But one of these things in here that I find of interest every time I look at it, you can look at this little piece when I'm done, is a, a list of desire chips.

Do they do that in Denmark where they give you a desire chip when you come in for the first time? Yeah. But in the States, they always do this stuff. You you you sober up and you go in and you say, okay. I'm ready to start this deal.

And they give you a little silver medallion on the desire chip. And then and theoretically, you're supposed to pick up one desire chip and stay, and that's gonna be the deal. But for years, what they've been doing in the states is tracking the success rate of Alcoholics Anonymous based on desire chips, 1 year chips, 2 year chips, 3 year chips, blah blah blah, and down the road. You see? That's the only way that we can really get some grip.

It's not scientific, and it's not foolproof, but it gives us some basis of seeing how successful we are. Are. It's funny. This man comes into AA and his buddies stay sober right around him, and so you got 5 or 6 people and they're staying sober for the next several years, and he's going, I don't see anything wrong. On.

We're all sober here. But while he's sober, there's thousands of you out there falling off by the wayside not staying sober. You see? And so our perceptions of AA get skewed, and we begin to get very defensive when when when guys like us from the United States come in and say there's a problem in our midst. There's a fox hen house, so to speak.

I mean, we we and so all I want you to what this is is a graphic illustration of how far we had strayed from the message and the direct manifestation, the direct results is that we got people not getting sober. Somebody at a meeting that we were in the other night when we got here said something about somebody told them 90 meetings in 90 days. That's the mantra in the United States. Every newcomer is told that. I want you to go to 90 meetings in 90 days.

I 1,000 stats 1,000 stats that I have right here, there were 21,000 rounded off. 21,000 desire chips given in 2 1,000. This is in Dallas, Texas. Okay? In in just in Dallas.

3 months later, 90 days later, there's only 36100 people picking up 3 month chips. That's that's only 17% of us stayed 90 days. You skip on down to 9 months, 10%, 1 year, 6.8%. 6%. Now, you do the math on that thing, it's a 1,000 that's almost 20,000 people that picked up Desire Chips that went bye bye.

Now you can't tell you can't stand there and say that all those 20,000 people didn't want this program. They didn't wanna recover. They did wanna recover, guys. Many of those people did want this thing, but they simply could not get it because the message had been so convoluted and watered down, and we didn't hold anybody accountable, and we didn't help them do what they needed to do. In groups like I'm from in Dallas, Texas, where we have refocused our efforts on studying the big book and then 12 step work, we've seen a huge resurgence.

Our figures aren't anywhere like this. Most everybody that comes stays. Most everybody comes and does the work, recovers. I mean, it's very rare to see somebody in our group go back out again, because we're so diligent to get them through the stuff. We were doing what we were supposed to be doing all along, carrying a clean, concise message of recovery that the book gave us.

Let me mention something. This is a little just a little aside on this thing about accountability everybody likes the concept of accountability until they're the ones being held accountable, and then everybody gets real grindy about it. You know? It's like, I've I've been asked a 1,000 times, would you be my sponsor? Sure.

I'll be delighted to. It'll be my honor. Let's do this and this and this, and by the way, I'm gonna hold you accountable to do this and this and this. And then there's dead silence, and then there's this kind of shuffle into their feet, and then they're gone. You see?

The truth is is that people don't wanna submit to the work and don't wanna do what we're doing, and that's the that's the grinding part. And some of you guys are sponsoring cats right now that are doing the same thing. You know, they say they want you to help them. You you you get involved, and then all a sudden they start disappearing, or they start putting distance between you and the work. And anyway, let's let's drag them up close, and let's see what we can do.

I find it interesting that the last part of this work, steps 10, 11, and 12, we we trivialize this stuff a huge amount, and and we we, you know, we get so focused in with our new guys that we're working with on steps 3 and 4 and 5, and we're gonna do all of this kind of stuff. The amends thing is a huge deal. We're gonna get in there, and we're gonna go do these amends and and whatnot. But when we get around this thing of 10, 11, and 12 because they're not demanding, immediate action, nobody's sitting there saying do this now kind of thing. We tend to hold them at some distance, you see?

It's it's funny. Over the years, if I'm sponsoring a guy and he gets he gets, gets goofy, he calls me on the phone and he's sounding crazy. I don't ask him how many meetings he's going to. I don't ask him I I asked him the same question over and over and over again. I wanna know today, how much time did you spend with God?

And how much time did you spend working with another alcoholic? Because those two things guarantee your sobriety and guarantee your happiness. It guarantees the quality of pinnacle of this that's controlling the whole picture. When the gentleman a minute ago read chapter 5, no. It was it was in, on page 164.

There's a line in there that said, God will constantly disclose more to you and to and to us. Constantly disclose. Isn't an interesting concept that if God is constantly disclosing information to us, why are we always so baffled about what we're millions of us out there doing this number, scratching our head going, I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go. I don't know what actions to take.

All of those all of that head scratching is directly back to this inability to stay plugged in to God and step 11 work every day. It's funny. You got a guy with a blowtorch on his rear. His wife's giving him a fit. His employer's giving him fits.

His kids are all, you know, his world is in chaos, and and and we get these guys that are spiritual giants. They don't ever stop praying because they know they get all connected up. Fast forward a couple of months. The wifey poo's back in the bedroom again. The job thing is kinda smoothed out a little bit, And now, all of a sudden, we can't find time to pray.

We can't find time to meditate. Doctor Bob wrote a great essay one time about the importance of 11 step work of of prayer and meditation. And he said in this thing, and I'm paraphrasing it. I don't have it here in front of me. We can we can do without the meeting.

We could do without most of this stuff, but we cannot do without prayer and meditation. And yet as a fellowship, we trivialize it as it's just just something that's there if you want to do it. If you're questioning God's will for you in your life, pray, meditate, Take. Spend time not running your to God. Sit there still and be quiet.

If you're having trouble with meditation, come see me. Or walk right down that street if you live here, 2 blocks down there, there's a yoga meditation place. It can help you with everything you need to know about meditation. They're great guys. I just met them.

You see? I'm They're great guys. I just met them. You see? Well, One more little side, then I'll get back on track.

I wanted to read this little piece to you. There was some guys that I was talking to at break that were talking about, their group was real adamant about the discussion stuff about needing to air our problems in the in the confines of the meeting, and and, I know we we hit that pretty hard, and we're pretty pretty straightforward about it. I wanted to make sure that you guys understood what I was saying last night. I I I encourage you to share your problems in your day and this kind of stuff, but I encourage you to share it with your sponsor not with the with the group because it takes up valuable recovery time. The new guy doesn't need to hear that you are a year sober and still having trouble in this deal.

They don't need to hear that. Your sponsor needs to hear it so he can get you back into work. That's where it's supposed to be. But of interest, I want somebody these men that I was talking to specifically, I wanna read this little piece right here. Bill Wilson wrote this thing in, a letter in 1966, and it said, an AA group as such cannot take on all the personal problems of its members, let alone those of non alcoholics in the world around us.

The AA group is not, for example example, a mediator of domestic relations nor does it furnish personal financial aid to anyone. Though a member may sometimes be helped in such matters by his friends in AA, the primary responsibility for the solutions of all his problems of living and growing risk squarely upon the individual himself. Should an AA group attempt this sort of help, its effectiveness and energies would be hopelessly dissipated. Dig? We clear on this?

Let's get back to the main deal. Let's get back to making newcomers feel excited about being in recovery. You see? Remember the story and a vision for you where there was this cat that was talking about it might be boring and glum like some people I know? Is there any man and woman in this room that didn't ask that question when they sobered up?

The big question, the common thread that ran through every one of you, you and me both, is there a solution that is sufficient enough to keep me clear of the booze? We ask that. Is there a sufficient substitute? And the answer is yes. There is, and we need to make sure that the new guy that comes in knows that the substitute is there.

That recovery is cool and exciting. I talked at a place down South Texas one time, and I remember walking into this group, and these, oh, these people were like, I didn't know whether I was in a funeral or in an AA meeting. They were the most glum lot I have ever met in my life. They were totally miserable. Nobody was smiling.

Nobody was laughing. Nobody was happy. It was just a a veil of tears. And I I talked for an hour and got down, and this lady walks up to me and she said, I had no idea recovery could be like that. And I wanted to weep.

I just wanted to cry. They're missing everything. Guys, let me tell you something. If you're baffled today by this stuff, if you're still glum and depressed and getting the crap kicked out of you by this spiritual stuff on this stuff, please come see me and let's get you back on track. And and the and the handshake, the secret handshake that's gonna connect every dot of all of this stuff is this 12 step work.

And I'll talk briefly on that. Chris will finish that stuff up, and then we can do some q and a kind of stuff and this sort of thing. We talked about this stuff briefly last night, but, guys, I'm telling you, we wanna hold all of this work at a distance. There are 2 types of people in Alcoholics Anonymous and in NA and CA and every other fellowship I've ever been involved with. You have those people that will embrace the newcomer and understand what our primary purpose is, which is to carry the message.

And you have those that feel like they have reached Nirvana because they got sober, and they're gonna just stay there in their own little island. And we've become introverted. We've become so self absorbed that we can't reach out to the new man that walked in the room. I did a talk in a room one night. I was doing the steps, and I walk in like as I'm doing this, this man walks in, stands in the middle the room, and just stands there.

It's not my home group. This is somebody else's group. Okay? There's 40 people in the room, and I this man is just standing there hugely uncomfortable. He's sweating profusely.

He's nervous. He doesn't know really what he's even doing there. I mean, it's just one of those classic, well, I finally got up enough nerve to walk in. He didn't know it was a step study that night. He didn't know I was gonna be talking, and he's just standing there.

And I'm thinking every molecule in my body is saying, please, somebody go grab that man. Don't let him just stand there and sweat. You know what? There weren't one person do any of that. They stood there and they let that man stand in the middle of that room until he was so uncomfortable and he started to turn away.

And you know what? I could not stand it. I stopped what I was doing, stepped down off that podium, went over there and hugged me and setting down. And we did we did it. Everybody was too afraid to to do something, to make a stand, to feel uncomfortable, to get everybody's in their own little comfort deal and nobody wants to reach out.

You see? Well, I already paid my dues. I walk in. I remember feeling that comfortable. Where's the empathy?

Where's the love? Where is the is the oh, jeez. I wanna weep thinking about it. It wasn't 30 minutes later towards the end of this talk, a girl that had been sitting in that room with a t shirt on and a pair of shorts got up and walked out. Less than 20 seconds later, not longer than that, or maybe a minute later, this same girl walked back in with no shorts on and nothing on except that t shirt.

I don't know. I mean, she's she's obviously stoned, and she had walked back out, and and I don't know what was going on out there, but she walked back in with very little on. And I'm still trying to carry on this conversation from the podium, you see? And once again, I'm going, god, will anybody help this woman? 16 women in that room sat there and watched her watched her bend over and show everything that she had and and and and fumble around, and she finally sat down this couch and passed out.

And there wasn't a woman in there helped her. Nobody. After the meeting, she got up and walked for the door. I'm going, ladies, don't you do this. She walked outside.

Guess what happened? A guy follows her outside. Classic. Classic. So here we have a woman practically naked naked in the room walking out, and there's nobody from that home group that's gonna help her, but some guy's gonna help her.

You bet betcha. Well, you can imagine what happened. It was not pretty, and I got right in the middle of it, and and, and we carried her to treatment that night. Why do I relate these stories? Because, guys, in your own little world, your AA may be perfect.

In your own world, things may be groovy. But out there in the whole world, guys, there is some cesspool AA with people floundering not having any clue what their primary purpose is. The book is clear. Tradition 5 told us, our primary purpose is to carry this message in this book to a recovering out to to somebody that needs help, whether it's a drug addict or an alcoholic. Those traditions state that.