The Third Tradition Speaker Meeting in Studio City, CA

Tonight, it's my pleasure to introduce our speaker. He's a guy I met, when I first visited his group. It was one of the most powerful groups I've ever been to. He's a he's a good example and a fine, fine member. Thanks, Mark, for coming out.

Mark c from Palmdale. Hi, everybody. I'm Mark Coffee. I'm an alcoholic. And, I wanna thanks thank Jeff for inviting me out, and, I see a lot of familiar faces in this room, and, I got sober in the San Fernando Valley and, went to meetings in, in Northridge, Granada Hills.

And, at about 3 years of sobriety, I moved up to the Antelope Valley and was in culture shock and about, what AA was about. And, you know, but I'm I'm proud to say that, today, I'm a member of the high desert big book group, and we believe in the sponsorship and the program of action as outlined in our book. And, I'm real grateful that, I hooked into a group that's, it's an active group that, we meet Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays at 8 o'clock. And if you're ever in Palmdale, we invite you to come join us, you know, and, it's on, Palm Del Boulevard at Crazy Otto's restaurant. We take over the banquet room, and, it's a good deal.

My sobriety date is January 1, 1990. I told you my home group and, my sponsor is Bob Fisher, and, those are the 3 most important things in my life today. And, you know, I I have a sobriety date and, and I love life today. I love Alcoholics Anonymous. And, when I got here, I didn't think I would like Alcoholics Anonymous.

I thought I was around a bunch of lames and, had no idea what I was doing here, and, I thought my life was over. I thought there would be no more fun. What am I gonna do? You know? And, and now my life is so full and so rich that, that I don't know I don't know, you know, life is good.

But, I grew up in the San Fernando Valley. I'm a I'm a product of the of of the valley, you know, and, I'm from a large family, Irish, Italian, and Cherokee Indian, and, we, we like to drink. And, you know, my dad had 6 brothers and 2 sisters, and, most of them, have either died from alcoholism or drug addiction or, you know, or or related causes. And, for somehow, it skipped my father, but, one of my uncles and, and my grandfather sure made up for it, you know. And, I don't know.

I you know, when I was, when I was 8 years old, we moved from Inglewood to the San Fernando Valley to Northridge. My dad bought a house, and, and my mom, just given birth to my little sister. And, just out of the blue, some she had she died suddenly. And I was 8, and my sister was an infant, and my father, was there with with me and an infant, and he had a job that was, kept him busy a lot, you know. And, so he moved in.

3 of his 3 of his brothers and my grandparents into the house. And instantly, you know, for me, I had an uncle Jerry that was my uncle, who was my dad's youngest brother, and he was like an older brother to me. And he was, he was my idol, you know, and, and he was, the guy that, was in the car clubs and the low riders, and, you know, I just like to hang out with Jerry and do whatever Jerry said to do. You know, we'd wax those Kroger rims, and we shine that car, and we'd we'd just do everything we could to to hang out with my with my uncle. You know, he was about 5 years older than me, and, you know, I had 2 cousins that were 1 year older than me and 1 a year younger than me, Kirk and Gary Coffey.

And, you know, we just we were like the Coffey guys, and we, you know, I don't know. I grew up in a time when, going to Nobel Junior High School, went to Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic School, you know, and I I felt out of place there. You know, I've always been a big kid. I've always been teased about my weight and and all that stuff. But when I started to drink, it didn't bother me anymore because I took you know, once I take a drink, I don't care about what you think, you know.

And, and my uncle Jerry got my cousin and I cousins and I loaded for the first time. And I'll never forget, he was weird, their house on Bryant Street. And, kind of years later, that that area just got completely gated off, you know, and, but, he gave us a a bag of that outside issue stuff, and, and we, we were smoking that and, and drinking drinking old English 800, you know. And, I was, I think I was in 7th grade and 6th grade or something. And, man, I just, I loved everything about it.

And, and so my cousins and I continue to do that, and we're like brothers together. We ran around the San Fernando Valley, you know. There was a time when the San Fernando Valley was all about open keg parties. You know, every Friday Saturday night, we'd go get a a list of we'd have a list of parties. We'd go from party to party.

There'd be live keggers going on, live bands, you know, and, when the parties all got busted by the cops, we'd head for County Line Beach. And, I loved it, man. I loved everything about drinking. Drinking I'm not an alcoholic that drinking worked real well for me for a lot of years. I enjoyed it.

My alcoholism continued to progress though, and, you know, I come from, like I said, a big family, and my aunts, they all my aunts and uncles, they, you know, they love to drink too. You know, my earliest memories of my grandfather and my uncle were getting dressed for, Our Lady of Lord's school, you know, and getting my little uniform on, sitting down at the breakfast table and having a bowl of, cereal, and they're drinking Old Forester and slits and playing cribbage, and, that was the norm in in our household. So when it did come time for us for me to pick up a drink, it was just norm. And, you know, there was no, my dad was a single father and, he was not around. He worked for the news and was always gone and, you know, and, we just did whatever the hell we wanted to do.

And, I ran around with my cousins and, never became much of my sister's life and, you know, but drinking was a lot of fun then. It was Wednesday night at Van Nuys Boulevard. It was Bob's Big Boy on Saturday Friday night, you know, cruising in the cars. And, you know, I would just hang out with my uncle Jerry because he was in the lowriders and, you know, there was something, that just attracted me to that, you know, that the the girls with the ratted up hair, the mini skirts, and no underwear, and it was just, you know, we're just, you know, Mike, I'm 4 I'm 14. My cousin Kirk's 15.

My cousin Gary's 13, and Jerry's letting us hang out, you know. And, he'd pick up hitchhikers and throw them in the back seat with us, and we'd, and tell us what he would do to us if we didn't at least try to make a move. And, I don't know. You know, alcohol was a lot of fun for a lot of years for me. But as my alcoholism progressed, you know, I I started to take these, my aunts and un some other aunts and uncles, they were always, had a weight problem, so they were always, having a they always had diet pills.

And those were the kind of things that allowed me to drink the way I wanted to drink, because I hate passing out. I always feel like I'm gonna miss something. And, and we would, we would eat those escatrols and eat those digress and go out and drink all night. And, man, it was a lot of fun. And, you know, Kirk and Gary and I just ruled the roofs in the valley.

You know? I'm like, Michael uncle Jerry had a house at Napa in Reseda, and we have big kegger parties there all the time, and it was a lot of fun. And, I don't know. You know? Somewhere along the line after just getting out of high school, my uncle Jerry moved to Colorado, and, and I was with this girl through high school, you know, and I you know, she lived in Simi Valley.

I lived in the San Fernando Valley. She thought we were gonna get married. You know, she was engaged the whole time through high school. I was just a dog. You know, once I start to drink, there's there's no such thing as a bad idea, and there's, you know and, I, at any rate, I'm supposed to be getting married right out of high school and, and I wasn't gonna get married and I split and left her behind And, you know, I went to where my uncle Jerry moved to.

He moved to Colorado, and, and I started working for this company that he was he was part of. You know? And, it was an industry that was fueled by drugs and alcohol. And the the entire industry this was the waterbed business. And when the waterbeds were booming in the in the late seventies eighties, you know, most of the, the first place I ever saw a water bed was in the black light poster room through the beads at the head shop.

And and it turned out, surprisingly enough, most of the water bed store owners were ex head shop owners. And I was in the wholesale end of it, and we were just the we couldn't go wrong. The everybody seemed to have to have a water bed. So there was a lot of money being made where I was in a young company. The company was brand new.

There was only 5 of us in the company, and, it was making money hand over fist. And I'm in Denver, Colorado, and and life is getting good. And, you know, I'm really enjoying my enjoying life, you know. And my roommate's a jazz drummer in one of the hottest jazz bands in the in the city there, and we're doing the hanging out at the clubs and going up to the ski resorts in the wintertime. And my alcohol is just I'm really enjoying life now.

And, you know, I'm I'm 19 years old, and, I'm making decent money, and I got this life going on in Colorado. And, you know, I left my father. My father ended up, eventually meeting another woman and getting married, and, she had 2 kids. And then between them, they had another another kid. And, so I got 4 younger sisters that, sad to say, I haven't been much a part of their life, until sobriety.

You know? And, but, you know, those two cousins of mine, Kirk and Gary, though, you know, when I left California, I was 19, and Gary Gary was, almost homeless. He was homeless living in North Hollywood Park at the time when I left, and, and my cousin Kirk was making the rounds of all the couches. And when you have a big family like I have, you takes a long time to get through all the couches. And, you know and I left and I and I was gone for for 9 years and, moved to Colorado.

Like I said, the the business was going good. They wanna open up a new location. I'm I'm single. I'm ready to go. I'll be the warehouse manager.

I'll go open the new the new office up, and, they sent me to open the new office in Chicago. And Chicago is my kind of town to drink in because bars are open till 5 in the morning, and it's a lot of fun in Chicago. And they got the blues and the jazz, and I love just drinking and hanging out in those bars, and, man, alcohol was working good. And, staying up all night, you know, no bosses to report to. I have a big giant showroom that are full of beds, so I'd come back after the bar is closed or when I'd whenever I'd leave the bar and go to my showroom and pass out, and, tell my secretary in the morning no calls until noon.

And it was just, man, it was a it was a good life, you know, and it was in Chicago, you know. And, of course, you know, as as I'm moving around the country, my my alcoholism is progressing, and I'm, you know, I'm doing a lot of other things, you know, a lot of, a lot of drugs. And, you know, I'm I'm the kind of alcoholic that likes the kind of things that keeps me awake, that keeps me going, that allows me to continue to drink the way I wanna drink, you know. And, and so living in, living in Denver, I'm, you know, I'm with the my roommate. He's in the band, and, you know, I'm the supplier for the band, and we're just having a good time.

And, moved to Chicago and, at the party, he just moved with me, you know, and, I met with some people there that, that did the same thing I like to do, is drink and get loaded, drink and get loaded. And that's all I continue to do. And, you know, but, as as it was progressing, I I started to get you know, I I wasn't I became less accountable. I didn't care about anything other than myself, you know. I I remember, that my dad had had a massive stroke and heart attack, and my father and I have always been very close.

And my sister called and, you know, and told me dad just had a massive heart attack, and and you need to get on a plane to come home right away. And, you know, it was a Friday night, and we were going up to the Wisconsin Dells, and we had already started the party. And it was like I just turned it off in my head, and, you know, later to find out through my inventory process that, you know, that selfishness and self centeredness is the root of my troubles, and and I am so selfish and self centered that that once I have a few drinks, I don't care about anything but that. Once I take a few drinks, there's nothing that'll get in the way of my drinking. And, and I just left town and, you know, came back on Monday and and called home to see, you know, as if nothing ever happened.

And, you know, I thank god my dad didn't die that day because him and I are very close today. You know, but as my alcoholism progressed and going living in Chicago and, you know, I'm doing a lot of the other outside issue stuff, and, I'm getting, in more and more trouble, and I can't perform at work. And, my bosses in Colorado are wondering what's going on with me and, you know but the business doesn't no matter how hard we tried, the business just kept making money because everybody had to own a water bed. It was like, if you didn't have a water bed, you weren't cool, and everybody in the world seemed to have to have a water bed. Anyway, we're gonna open up a 3rd location, and, and I wanna go I wanna get out of Chicago now because I'm getting in trouble because I'm doing a lot of that other stuff, and I'm staying up for days.

And and I'm not performing at work, and I'm in trouble all the time. And, you know, they're gonna open a new location, and, I'm the prime candidate. I've got the experience on how to open a new location, so they send me to the new location, you know, and, I need to get away from Chicago to get away from the cocaine anyway, you know. And, you know, they send they open a new location in, Clearwater Beach, Florida. And, Florida Florida is not a good place to go to try not to be around that other stuff.

So, as I'm in Florida, my disease is really progressing in my alcoholism. And now I'm now I'm a daily drunk, you know, and I'm in sales, and I have a company credit card. I'm in a corporate apartment with a company car, company credit card. Every day, I'm hitting happy hour. You know, every day at noon, I'm running to the bar.

I'm a I'm a daily drinker now and, and I don't know what's going on. And, you know, I, I get introduced to a new form, a new way to do that outside issue stuff, and I start smoking it. And now my life is starting to spiral like a like a big dog. And, and I don't know what's going on, and I can't stop drinking, and I can't stop doing the other stuff, and everything around me is falling apart. And I'm just a mess, you know.

And I I I end up losing that job and end up getting a job, working as a as a bouncer in a topless club. I'm a bartender, and I'm in I'm in a biker, clubhouse showing up in my OP shorts and tank top, you know, every day. And, and I just, I felt that I had to drink. That was a license to drink for free because I was the woman that owned the bar. I owed a tremendous amount of money to for some of that stuff.

And, so I was just working off a debt. And, you know, in that bar, I met a woman and, ended up, having to leave Florida on the run real fast and took her and her 2 year old son back to California with me. You know, I fed her a bunch of lies and told her that I would if we came to California, I could, I could go to work and get a job in the studios or some crap, you know, and, and she believed it. And we came to California, and I got back to LA. And and, this was you know, it'd been 9 years since I've been in Los Angeles.

And, the first thing I wanted to do was to go hook up with my cousins and start partying and have a good time. I hadn't had any contact with my cousins for all these years, you know, you know, and and, Gary invited me over to a party, you know, and, I went to this party on, on Ventura Boulevard. It was at a Mexican restaurant, and I went there and, god, there was a whole bunch of people in this banquet room, and I started ordering, shots of 1800 gold and and, drinking margaritas. And and, pretty soon, I something, you know, nobody else was drinking, and they and they and they started singing happy birthday to my cousin, you know, and, and they walked out with a cake with a 5 on it. And, my cousin, I wouldn't be surprised if Arty was at that at that birthday birthday party, you know.

And, my cousin was 5 years sober and, and my cousin, Kirk, was his older brother was 7 years sober or 6 years sober at the time. And and I had no idea what the hell anybody would ever get sober for. And the places I hung out in, if you didn't drink and use the way I did, then I I wasn't around there. I had never heard about sobriety. I'd never heard about Alcoholics Anonymous, and they just didn't compute.

You know? You take away the only thing that makes my life function, and I got nothing left. And, but my cousins were both sober members of of Alcoholics Anonymous and, you know what? Their lives were going good. You know?

Gary had a a thriving, painting contracting business. He had a beautiful new wife with 2 gorgeous kids. My cousin Kirk's life was going pretty good and, you know, and I'm I'm, I got my, my girlfriend from from the strip club, with the with her 2 year old son were living on dad's couch, you know, and, my life's in the toilet. I got no driver's license. I got no no means to make a living and, you know, and, but their life was going good and that that was the attraction that brought me to the idea of possibly getting sober.

And for Kirk and Gary, they both were sober and having a good life and my life was in the toilet, and I continued to drink for another year and a half after that though, you know. I I just, I couldn't fathom the idea of not drinking, you know. And, and on January, on in New Year's Eve of of 1989, I I couldn't get drunk. I couldn't I was sick and tired of the way I felt. I couldn't take enough of anything.

I couldn't drink enough of anything, and I couldn't get to that place. See, I'd I'd lost the ability to get to that place where I've gotten to for so many years. You know, the last two and a half, 3 years of my drinking, I could no longer recapture the high I used to get cruising Van Nuys Boulevard on a Wednesday night or being in that club just getting down and and with the blues in Chicago and having a good time, you know, being able to dance and shoot pool and have fun, you know. Now every time I'm drinking those last two and a half years, the obsession for everything else comes on so strong. I'm completely isolated.

I find myself locked up in hotel rooms, in closets, staring out windows, and sweating a lot. You know? And, you know, when I when I lost that job in Florida, you know, man, you know, here I am, £250. It's August in Florida, and I'm riding a 10 speed in a suit to work after being up for 2 or 3 days, you know. And it's, it was just one big sweaty mess.

And, and, you know, I tell you, I you know, I but my alcoholic life had become my only normal one. That I couldn't differentiate the truth from the false. That was isn't that the way everybody got loaded? I mean, I couldn't see anything wrong with it. And it wasn't until coming to California and seeing sober members, seeing my cousins, knowing that the people that they were and that they now have become gave me the inspiration to get sober.

And, I'm forever grateful for that, you know. And, I got sober, like I said, January 1, 1990, and I started going to meetings and meetings and meetings. I loved what I was feeling in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, and I love the people, and I could relate to the people. I found something here that really touched me, and I knew that you people have been where I had been. And, you know, but the most important thing that ever happened to me in my 1st year of sobriety, I was going to meetings and meetings and meetings and going to dances and meetings and dances.

And I was about, 8 months of sobriety of just doing meetings. Just doing meetings. And not I didn't have a sponsor. I'd never opened that book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thank God that I I was just attracted and kept coming back.

And, but in about 8 months, I was ready to drink, and I was convinced myself that because I wanted to drink, that Alcoholics Anonymous didn't work for me. And, and somebody told me to go to this men's stag meeting and let the old timer there know all the things that I'm doing in AA, like, going to the dances, going to Millie's, going to Lulu's. And I did that that night, and they told me that, they asked me questions like who my sponsor was, you know, what step I was working, how many commitments do I have. I had no quite no answers for any of that. And, they told me that if I want a drink, to go drink and get it on, you know, but don't ever kid yourself that you've been doing AA.

And that got my attention, and they told me to get a sponsor that night. And they said we meet over at the, at the Coco's after the meeting. And and I went over to Coco's after the meeting, and they said, did you get a sponsor? And I said, well, I'm I'm checking a few guys out. And they said, no.

He's your sponsor. And they appointed me a sponsor that night. And they appointed me, they made me a door greeter at the Mason and Lassen Chatra speaker meeting, and and they made me a literature person at the book study, you know, and and then they said then Saturday night and I had a I had a cookie commitment at the, at the Saturday night CA meeting back at the, over by next to Stanley's in in Woodland Hills. And then I you know, and I had I left that night with a sponsor and 4 commitments, you know, and and I'm I'm positive without a shadow of a doubt today that sponsorship and commitments have kept me sober and kept me in good standing and feeling good about myself ever since. It's been, 15 and a half years, and I I haven't been without a sponsor, a home group, or commitments.

And and to me, that's so vitally important for me. That 1st year went by, and, I watched my cousins drift away from Alcoholics Anonymous. I thought I was gonna come in, and we're all gonna be going to meetings together. But I watched what later on I sang seen many, many people do. I watched money, property, and prestige divert them from their primary purpose, And I watched my cousin Gary drink again.

And I watched him lose everything, his house, his family, his business, and he's been struggling ever since. And I watched my cousin drink Kirk drink again, and it tore my heart apart, You know? They were they were very close to me, and, and, it scared the heck out of me and got me more active in Alcoholics Anonymous than I had ever been. And, unfortunately, my cousin Kirk drank again and continued to drink. And then, and then one day at Super Bowl Sunday, he was drinking and ended up, you know, getting in a bad car accident with his daughter in the car.

And almost 19 months later, we had to pull the plug. You know? He was in a coma for 19 months. And, you know, jail's institutions are death. And and my cousin, Kirk, had to go to the death route, and it scared the hell out of me.

And my cousin Gary, you know, he's I talked to him about half hour ago, and he's trying to get sober again. But, you know, I got real busy in Alcoholics Anonymous. And, you know, at 3 years of sobriety, I moved to the Antelope Valley, like I said, and and the meetings weren't, there was people in the Antelope Valley. Nobody was, you know the idea of having a commitment or starting a meeting on time was, like, nowhere to be found. And, I was in culture shock and, I got involved with a group out there.

For 10 years, I was an active member of the group called the Palmdale Group, and, I helped be a real, you know, I just I just had I got a my sponsor told me that I have to grow where I'm planted. And, and I, you know, I got involved there and, you know, and I started you know, life just started to get better, you know. And, through the process of the steps, through the inventory process, I was able to see what kind of person I'd become, you know. Through doing the resentments and the fears and the sex conduct, I could see where I was such a selfish, self centered son of a gun my entire life, you know. I never did anything for anybody if I didn't get nothing back.

And, and my sponsor made it real clear that I'm gonna die drunk if I don't go from being a taker to a giver. And he got me involved in service work and, and I've been you know, I don't know. You know, I I was 4 years sober, and I came down with something called Bell's palsy. And half my face it was like I had a stroke and half my face was was, distorted and and drooling, and and I and I couldn't, I couldn't talk. And I wanted to isolate and be away from meetings, but thank God for the wisdom of sponsorship.

He sent me to a panel over Glendale Adventist in the Nut Ward, and and I was in that panel that I was in a room with 2 other slobbers. And and I I'd laughed at myself that night, and I realized that I couldn't save my ass and my face at the same time, you know. And, you know, thank God for sponsorship to to get me to do things that I don't wanna do. And, you know, about 2 years ago, we started a new group in the called the High Desert Big Book Group, and it was just, it was just a necessity in our area that, there'd be some group with some kind of structure and something to do with sponsorship, you know. It wasn't, it was just, and it was a good thing, you know, and, and today, my life is very full.

I've got a host of guys that that call me sponsor, and we do a lot of things together. We're real active members. You know, we just had our roundup last weekend and, you know, and, I don't know. You know, life is so full and good. You know, I that woman I ended up marrying and, you know, and and that 2 year old son, you know, grew up to be a a 19 year old monster.

And, you know, but him and I are getting along today better than we ever had. You know, they went to Alatine, and my wife went to Al Anon, and my my daughter got my daughter, my we had a we had a girl, and my daughter's 13 now. And I know that that it's it's just starting to come with her, you know. And, but life got real full and real busy, and I've never you know, the one thing that I'm so grateful to Al Anon for and and for my wife is that she's never complained about my involvement in Alcoholics Anonymous. She knows the absolute necessity for me to be an active member.

I'm a 5 meeting a week guy. I have to be, you know, and, I have my time for my wife and kids. I have time for work. I I work over here in North Hollywood. I live in Palmdale.

I do the commute. You know? But, you know, God seems to make make room for everything, and I don't know how that happens. You know? I know on page 88, it talks about if I I when I stop trying to, you know, do everything that revolve around me, that things just take place, you know.

And, you know, and I don't you know, the thing with with for me is that through the inventory and through the the amends, I was able to re rebuild some of those relationships. You know? And and I have a relationship with my father today that is very precious, and he's he's in my grandchildren's in his grandchildren's life. And 2 days a week, he spends the night in my house. And and, you know, we we do a lot of things together, my dad and I.

He's 74 years old, and, and it's a precious deal for me to be in his life because I was away from him for so long. And I didn't he never knew what if I was dead or alive for most of those years. And, and today I'm I'm an active in his life. And, I have a couple sisters that are, you know, been trying to get sober. They've been in and out of the program, and, you know, I don't know.

You know, I I can just be an example. I I can't do anything other than be an example of how Alcoholics Anonymous has worked in my life. And, you know, it, it's a good thing. I was sober I was sober, 2 years, and, my old roommate from Colorado wanted me to, to be the best man in his wedding, you know, and, and I was scared to death to go back to Denver. I was gonna go back to Boulder, Colorado and be in that wedding, and, I'm I was scared.

I don't I didn't wanna go there because I know what's gonna be there, and all my old friends are gonna be there, and everybody's gonna be doing the stuff I used to do. And, it was coming time and, you know, I had a I had a commitment as a door grader at the Mason Lassen meeting, speaker meeting, and a man came up there to talk. And, and it was the first speaker that really reached out and got me. You know, it was a speaker that I really although we had nothing in common with his story in mind, I related to the his feeling. I related to how he felt about Alcoholics Anonymous and how his life was changing had changed over the years.

He got sober the year I was born. You know? He was sober in 59, and, that man was Johnny h and, from Long Beach. And and I heard him share that night, and, he gave me a lot of hope. And he gave me the hope that I could go and do this deal in Colorado and not have to drink.

And, anyway, I, I'm gonna go to Colorado. I'm gonna be in this wedding. And, my sponsor says, you know, what a wonderful opportunity because you're on your 9th step. And, what a great time to get together with that old employer of that water back company and and go over everything you stole from them because I stole from them for about 3 years. And, and so I was gonna go to Colorado and be in this wedding, and at the same time, knock off this big giant nice step of men's.

And, I was scared to death. And, but with some of the things Johnny had told me and the things my sponsor had told me, I felt comfortable that I could do it. You know? But when I got there, it was a different story. I got to the hotel in Boulder and everybody's doing shooters, and there's all that stuff being smoked, and the bathroom doors closed, and I know what's in the bathroom.

I just know. I just people are going in and out of the bathroom and I'm and my head is telling me if I just get loaded, I don't have to make the damn amends and, you know, and, you know, and, I was trained trained to my feet have been trained in Alcoholics Anonymous to do what my sponsor said, and I'd already pre set up somebody to come pick me up from central office before I even got to Colorado. And I went to they they came and got me. Actually, I called a cab, and I went took a cab down to to where this meeting was at in Boulder. And, you know, there was they were just wrapping the meeting up, and there was no there was no meeting that night.

And and I was scared to go back to that hotel room, you know, and, they said, don't worry. You're gonna come with us. And I went with these guys, and we drove right back in front of my hotel room, which was right across the street from the Boulder University. And we walked we go into the parking lot of the Boulder University, and we get there, and and there's a full blown Alcoholics Anonymous convention going on. And, I get a seat in the front at the main speaker meeting, and out walks Johnny, and he's the main speaker.

And it was that night that I knew there was no coincidences and that God was working in my life. And, and I just talked I sat and talked to Johnny that night, and he said, man, just just go to some marathon means, hell, go to those dances you talk so much about. Yeah. And enjoy, you know, and go back and and and go back and take care of business, you know, be the only sober member at that wedding and go back and and make those amends, you know. And, and I was able to do that that night and, you know, and and I and I and I made that amends to that boss of mine, and I I asked him, you know, I was sitting at his house and told him everything I had stolen from him, and asked him how I could make it right.

And, you know, by the time I left there, he had taken me to the airport and he told me before that if I ever wanna come back to Colorado, he's got a job waiting for me. And, you know, I came back to Los Angeles, and I was on fire with Alcoholics Anonymous in a way that I've never been I mean, it was just something else. You know? I thought all those men were gonna be that great, but they weren't. But, you know what?

It gave me it gave me the courage to take the action regardless of what my head told me. And, you know, I don't know. My life is, is is full. And, you know, my wife has been in Al Anon now for for a while, and and my daughter's in. Teen.

My son my son and I didn't get along. We had a really hard time, you know, and, about 4 years ago, he he crossed that line. He's 6 foot 3 and he's £350. And he he crossed the line where he got right up in my face and said that he's, you know, regardless of what I think, he's not I'm not afraid of you. And, so I did the the manly thing and called my sponsor.

And, but he hasn't had to grow up in a house of violence or a house of alcohol abuse or alcoholism. And today, him and I get along pretty good. You know, I'm forever grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous. And if you're new, I wanna welcome the new people here today and and tell you that, you know, it's not a requirement to go back out and drink. You know.

I'm convinced that if I keep doing what I'm doing, I'll keep getting what I'm getting. It hasn't been necessary for me to take a drink since my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, But I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I back off of what I'm doing and I let money, property, and prestige get in the way of my sobriety, I if I put anything in front of my sobriety, the drink will be right there. And, you know, I my favorite, thing that that I I can't quote it verbatim, but in in working with others in this in the second paragraph, it talks about life will take on a new meaning. And life has taken on a new meaning for me. And to have a host of friends, to see people, you know, to to see people recover, it says, to watch loneliness vanish, to see them help others.

For me to watch and to see those things, I gotta be smack dab here in AA. I can't do it sitting at home watching law and order. You know, I gotta see the miracles happen, and I hope you stay around and see them too. Thanks.