Service at the CPH12 v2 convention in Copenhagen, Denmark

Hi everybody, Poly alcoholic. What we're going to do is we have Dave and I had kind of decided what are we going to do about these subjects. You know, when we got the e-mail about what to do about the special topics. So we kind of decided on some and then we decide on again. So we've been asked to do

a couple of things. So what we're going to do is like a few minutes of each one

and hopefully we'll cover it all. So I'm going to start with service. And what it says in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous is that an alcoholic will not survive the high and low spots of life if we're not working with others. So it's very important to be into service. And I think coming to a convention like this is a totally perfect example of service

because the people who have put this on have spent many, many hours working and all of this, if you're new, is totally volunteer. They pay just like you pay, plus they work. It's all volunteer. And the people who I've been watching sweepers and coffee servers and the people who are preparing the meals, who did the programs,

so much going on and it's tireless work. I mean, it's just these guys really work hard and they put this on twice a year. This is a big deal. And it takes a lot of work. And it's a, it's a, it's a form of service and people come and they help. And all you have to do to be a part of is just to say you're a part of

and go do something. Just saying you're a part of and you're going to do it. You have to do something.

So that is a pharma service. One of the things that's a pharma service is a commitment to a Home group. One of the things that's very important is, in my opinion, what's shared by many people is everybody needs a Home group. And the important thing is, is to be in that Home group no matter what. And what happens a lot of times, because I sponsor women who don't necessarily go to the Home group I go to.

And I have had two women that I've known who went back out and drank and came back to to Monday night Seal Beach, which was my Home group in California. And they came to that meeting and they said I knew you would be here.

It never occurred to them I would not be there because I'm always at that meeting no matter what. I don't, I don't speak on Monday night. I still don't speak on Monday night because my Home group is Monday night. That's my commitment. And also I have a job in my Home group, so that's another pharma service in my Home group. I always have a job

now. I don't always get the job I like. The last job I had at Monday night Seal Beach speakers meeting was I clean the men and women's bathrooms.

That was my job.

I wasn't even, I was on the cleanup committee. I wasn't even the chairman of it. So this is part that service.

Now I'm the supply getter, like the coffee person to get the coffee, the sugar, the tea, you know, the grocery shopper from my Home group. Now have a job in your Home group, any kind of job. And if there are no jobs, be a greeter, just be a part of the Home group. That service. Being a sponsor is service.

Being the leader of your meeting is service.

Be their service at the general service area. Maybe some of you like to go to GSR. You like that level of service. That's a very important level of service. You start by being your group representative and then you can move on to positions from there. All of this is service. Now there's a lot of service outside of a A.

Have you noticed the parents around here?

That is service.

12 step work is service. One of the things that's it's easy for me. Well, who? I'd rather go hang out with my a, a friends than go to some family dinner.

Well, let's learn what's important. We need to go back and do those things. And what we're going to talk about after this is the family afterwards. So these are these are ways to be of service. Pick up the phone. One of the things that we're always saying is that newcomers need to call us. Newcomers are scared of us, so we need to call them.

I'm glad I've never gotten too sober to call a newcomer.

Call, invite him to say I'm we're going to a meeting, we're coming by to get you. Just reach out, reach out, talking to people at your meeting. Somebody walks into your meeting. Be aware who's not a regular member. And if they're not a regular member, go talk to him.

Service, reaching out, helping other Alcoholics. Maybe there's somebody in your group that doesn't have a car and they need to go to the doctor. Take them. Maybe they need to go to a meeting and it's raining and maybe they don't need to be on a bicycle. So take them. If you have a car,

help one another. One of the things that we do really well in Southern California and they also do it really well in Washington state, and that's we help each other move. I don't know if you're on the moving crew, but we help each other move. We help each other pack. I've been on both ends of that.

Thank God people help,

people have babies, things sickness happens, what happens, we go help. All of this is service. The most important thing that I need to be thinking of on a daily basis as what is it I can do for you? How can I help you?

What can I do for you? Because the more I do for you, the better I feel. I don't know why that works like that, but it does because I'm trying. What happens for me is it appears like it would make me feel better if you did it for me, but for people who have a spiritual illness, it doesn't work that way

because people can do for us and do for us and do for us. And it's just never enough

S never enough.

So what we need to do is do for others

constant thoughts of others.

And I'm going to let Dave throw in a little some stuff about service, too. But you can look around,

just just think about what it is you could do for somebody. If somebody's crossing the street, an old person, help them.

Just help them. What is it? Just get up every day and ask God to help. One of the things the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous says is to just ask to be of maximum service to God and those about me. There's a lot of moms right now chasing kids and doing this. I've loved to see there's moms and dads in here and it's wonderful to see other people picking up their children and loving them. Give them a little break.

Those are wonderful things to do. Say your sponsor has a new baby. Maybe she'd like a day out.

One of the sponsors gather up and give her a day out by watching her small children

be of service. Whatever you can do to help another person to be of service,

I guarantee you it will make you feel better than you ever dreamed.

I talked earlier about sponsorship and said that I sponsor a lot of women. I don't have a clue what I do for them. I don't have a clue, but I know what they do for me. Because you see, as long as I'm talking to them and finding out what's going on with them, I'm not ever thinking about me. And because of that, I I spend a lot of time talking about other people instead of dwelling on things about me.

Because if I'm thinking about me,

I'm going to be in self pity in a nanosecond. But as long as I'm thinking about you, I'm feeling pretty good about what's going on. But what it requires to be a part of is commitment, a word alkies don't do well with.

One of the things that we do a lot of a A and al Anon stuff, especially with the women I hang out with. And we'll have a function. All the al anon's have their money in the alkies. You know about 5 minutes before supposed to have. Is there still room

commitment? Be willing to commit.

You want to go to the international Commit. Sign up. Commit.

You want to be a part of your group. Commit if you want to know how to get to a meeting every single week. If that's your Home group, get a commitment that'll get you there.

Get a commitment and keep it no matter what,

OK? I'm gonna let Dave share a little bit about that and then we'll talk a little bit about the family afterwards.

You know, all my life

I have had people tell me things that were just pure BS. My parents tell me a lot of things that were BS. People around me have told me things that weren't true.

And, and this is one and you get to be skeptical and you get to be defensive and you get to think,

OK, whatever.

You know, like your parents tell you, you know, just before they give you a spanking that they're doing it for your own good.

Really.

You know they tell you to eat your peas.

You know it's good for you. No, it's not,

you know, and, and sometimes you know, we feel that way about

doing service work in our lives, not just in a a, you know, he can't just come to a A and do that. It has to be a mindset. You know, you have to, you have to approach your life differently. You have to approach your life unselfishly. What does the book says the nature of our disease. We are selfish and self-centered.

We just think about ourselves

and services away, being of use, being useful

to God and people around us. It's the way. It's the only way I know of to really combat being so self absorbed.

You know? It is said that after the last echo from the last hill of the last Dong of the Ding Dong of the Bell of Doom has echoed, there will still be the plaintive voice of an alcoholic saying What about me?

Say, The thing is,

you're not doing this for Alcoholics Anonymous.

A A doesn't need you.

You need a A A doesn't need me. A A was doing fine when I got here. You know,

if I leave, if I die right this minute, A A will continue to be fine. He doesn't need me any day. Hey,

this is my life. AA used to be what I did. It has become who I am. It is the way I live. You have taught me to have a service attitude, to be courteous to people, not for them, for me.

You know, Alcoholics Anonymous is absolutely great

in Denmark,

and I don't mind you challenging me on anything I say. And so if you're sitting there thinking, how the hell does this jerk know what a A is like in Denmark? He's been here five or six days.

I can tell you what I know about Alcoholics Anonymous in Denmark, and I can tell you what I know that causes me to say what I just said, that it is great here. It is great in Iceland. It is great wherever it exists, because of Alcoholics Anonymous, because of your Home group, your meeting.

A little kid went to bed last night with a warm supper in his stomach and he slept in a warm blanket and he was kissed good night by a parent who used to be a drunk

who used to yell at him and hit him.

Because of your Home group,

some lady is walking around today that does not have a black eye

and a big bruise on her face.

Because of your Home group, some man has a job and is able to feed and care for his family,

No? How many lives do you have to save before you think your own, your own life is worthwhile?

Isn't it great to know that you know you don't see this sometimes? You know, you just go to meetings and you don't drink and all that stuff.

You know, you just have no idea. People come up to me all the time and say, you know, when you said this and they tell me something, I said it Really. Did I say that to him? That's good.

You have no idea when you impact people in their lives and it's not a big deal. You just do the little things. You know, somebody needs a ride home, give a ride home.

I had AI had a job. I, I got, you know, we, we probably talked about me losing my job. You know, I was a big computer scientist and, and I lost my job and I had to go to work

on a help desk, you know, answering the phone. Well, you know what they say about middle managers. You know, they, they're, they're old and tired and bored. Well, I was a middle manager and that was what I was old and tired and bored. And this is like over 10 years ago

and the only job I could find was working on a help desk.

And my skills were at that time because I was a middle manager, my skills were rusty and all that.

And I wanted, what I wanted to say was God. It has come to this.

I have to work on a help desk and I'm working for a healthcare company

and I have people like nurses calling me saying

Dave my mouse.

Doesn't work.

What the hell do I care?

But what I did is I went to work and I did what you taught me to do.

I said, you know

somebody,

somebody may <profanity>piss</profanity> me off today,

but it won't be you.

Won't be you.

And I said, you know, these people that are calling me would rather not have to call me. They're calling me because they're having a problem. So when you call me and say I have a problem, my answer is I'll bet you won't. When this phone calls over

and they don't need any guilt trips from me. They don't need some. They don't need me to suggest that maybe they screwed up, that maybe they pulled the wrong push the wrong button or hit the wrong key. They don't need any of that. They're nurses. They don't what you know. What do they know or care about? Some goofy computer

and you know, my job is to make sure that they get to be the best nurses possible and that all this geeky stuff that I deal with doesn't get in their way.

And that's the attitude I took, because that's the attitude you taught me to have.

And I made close, really close personal friendships with many, many people.

And when I left that job, my boss came and said, you know, well, I didn't leave it. They sold the company. But my boss came to me and said, you know, I know what, it's a really great job. And I think you would fit there. Just really be just a good fit, you know, And I'm the only person he came to and said, you know, look at this, go look at this job. I think, I think I'm the only one he said that to.

And he didn't say that to me because of what he thought about me. He said that to me because of what all those nurses told him about me.

See if, if you come here looking for

and he's, you know, it's, and it's so easy. You know, I, I know the mindset. I've had it. I had it all my life and I had it for a long time after I got into Alcoholics Anonymous. And it's, it's stuff like, you know, no, I am not going out in the parking lot and pick up cigarette butts. I don't even smoke,

you know, let those lazy bums out there, they put those cigarettes on that parking lot, pick them up themselves, put them in the can. We put a can out there. Let them do it, you know, And it's easy to, you know, that's just because I don't want to do it.

But I want to keep meeting in that church.

I want my meeting to stay healthy. I want my meeting to be well thought of by the people that run that church. I don't want their parking lot litter with cigarette butts. And if I'm a member of that meeting, I need to do what I can to make sure my meeting stays good and strong and healthy.

So that's the whole point,

I think of service. He doesn't need you. You need a, a. You need to feel like you belong here, that you're part of this, that you belong here. This is my program,

so that's the end of my sermon on service,

and now we're going to talk about the Family Act.