Hugh D. from Chattsworth, CA speaking in Calgary, Alberta, Canada

There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all argument, and which cannot fail to keep a man on everlasting ignorance. That principle is contempt prior to investigation. Good Good morning. My name is Drew Douglas. I'm an alcoholic.

I like to start off these little sermons with that quotation out of this book, out of a spiritual experience for a couple of reasons. I am convinced that it is that contempt prior to investigation that that causes us to give out a damn site more 30 day tips in our college anonymous when we do 1 year birthday cakes. Contempt prior to investigation. And I've had a lot of people tell me that they have trouble living by principles. I don't think living by principles is the problem.

I I think it's the principles we've lived by that's the problem. If you have any doubt about what contempt is, I'll tell you what it was for me. I believe that anyone that thought that I was gonna pattern my way of life after something started by shyster New York stockbroker and a butt doctor of MOHAI had another thing coming. Now I would like to take a moment or 2 out to say something before I start talking this morning, and I would certainly like to thank the committee for inviting us up here. You people are the most friendly people I have found anywhere.

You have a beautiful city, And while the city may be young, the hospitality is not vaguely reminiscent of what is today called 1st century Christianity where one person helps another. I think it's laudable. Your scenery is outstanding. Absolutely beautiful. We were lucky enough to go over to Banff and Lake Louise for lunch, and I certainly appreciate Bob taking us over there.

And I certainly appreciate the attention that we've been given by Don and his wife, and I'm not gonna mention her name because I'm a male chauvinist. Well, Carol, what the hell? And I would, also like to welcome you newcomers to Alcoholics Anonymous. Last night at the countdown, there were a considerable number of you. And I would like to tell you if no one has that you're a part of a fellowship that has astounded science for a great many years.

This is the largest group of people anywhere in the world that found a way to go from adolescence to senility without ever bothering to pass through maturity. So welcome. And, if you are having a problem quitting drinking, I would remind you that quitting drinking is like making love to a gorilla. And you are not through until that gorilla is through. But I am sure that if you keep coming back and pay some attention to what you laughingly call your sponsor, the chances are that YouTube will be able to one day grasp what this way of life is all about.

Now I really believe that a lot of people in AA, especially newcomers, don't believe that their life has served any purpose whatsoever to this point, and I think you're wrong about that. And I think I can tell you a little story that'll prove it to you. It seems like some time ago, a well known evangelist died and was waiting in Saint Peter's outer office for his interview, and a well known priest walked in. And he was ushered right into Saint Peter's office. Any evangelist could understand this because the priest was well known and well loved.

And a few minutes later, a well known Catholic or Jewish rabbi walked in, and he was well known and well loved, and was immediately ushered right into Saint Peter's office. And the evangelist could understand this also. A little while later, a little old lady came in, and a girl behind the desk jumped up, run over, threw her arms around the girl, and she said, Mary, Mary, welcome. We're glad to see you. Go right in.

He's been waiting for you. And this bothered the evangelist. And he said, I can understand about the priest. I can understand about the rabbi. He said, but would you tell me why that little old lady got in in front of me?

She said, I'll be glad to. She said, when that girl was only 18 years old, her father gave her a brand new red convertible for her birthday. And in the 2 years that she drove that red convertible on the streets of Calvary, she put that fear of god in the hearts of more people than you did in 40 years of preaching hellfire and brimstone. So perhaps your life has not been a total loss. You have just simply served as a bad example.

Now I don't talk too much about what the drinking was like, and I've got 3 pretty good reasons for doing this. I never developed a fascination for the LAPD version of the way I drank. I never got overly fond of my first wife's version of the way I drank, and I don't remember how I drank. And if you drank like me, you probably don't remember too much of it either. What I do remember was rather boring, and I believe that if I'd have known that being a drunk was going to be a mark of distinction in my declining years, I would have taken notes or had someone keep them, but I didn't.

And I've always admired these people who can give you a blow by blow description of their drinking. I've always liked to lie, but, you know, the way it is, I guess. What I try to talk about is what I've learned from this book and this way of life in the last almost 28 years. And that's what I intend to talk to you about this morning, this book. And And the title of this book is extremely important, and it's obvious that a lot of people have never bothered to read it.

It's called Alcoholics Anonymous. And AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous. It does not stand for altered attitudes, associated assholes, or anything. It just stands for Alcoholics Anonymous. And if you will keep it that simple, it will probably work.

If you do not, it might not. And I intend to keep it just as simple as I possibly can this morning. And I would like to thank this young man for the introduction, although I am never sure when they introduce you at an AA meeting whether they're introducing you or insulting you. It was still a fairly nice introduction, I guess. When you start to read this book, you will find that it is probably one of the most poorly written, archaic pieces of literature that has ever been foisted on the American public.

It is extremely difficult to read because of the way Bill wrote it, and he wrote it that way intentionally. And what you will find is that he tells you in one spot what he's going to tell you. A little far later, he tells you what he wants you to know. And a couple of pages after that, he tells you what he's told you because he knows you'll damn well miss it in one of those places. So he tells you 3 different times.

And you will find that no matter how many times you read this book or how long you have read this book, that you will never ever be able to quote it exactly the way it was written. I've tried many times. I had a lot of trouble with 2 things when I come into Alcoholics Anonymous, and one of them was this book. One of them was the people. Now I don't know about you, but I'll tell you about me.

If you live in California like I do, and if you're familiar with Hollywood and North Hollywood like I am, and I came into the North Hollywood group in the summer of 1960. And you've got a bunch of people running around hollering men with a man and women with a woman, you'll get just a little bit leery of what they're talking about. And if a little while later, some guy comes up and grabs you in a bear hug and puts his cheek up against yours and says, I love you. You damn well know you have really done it to yourself this time. And I was told now in a lot of meetings, I've heard it said that if you don't have the funds, if you'll see someone after the meetings over someone, they'll see you leave with this book on your terms.

I don't know if you do that here in Canada or not, but if you do, and if you are new, take them up on that and get this book on your terms. I don't care if you got a $1,000 in your pocket because it will probably be the last damn thing you're ever gonna get now called Xonimus on your terms. So take them up on that and get it over with to start with. Now I got myself what you people laughing, they call a sponsor. Back then, we call them adversaries.

And, he didn't make that suggestion to me. In fact, what he said to me, he said, I've heard a little of your story. I think you're a thief, and we have a book around here for sale. I want you to buy the book, and I'm gonna see the receipt. And if I see you with the book without the receipt, I'm gonna call on and have you arrested.

And I thought he would, so I bought the book, showed him the receipt, and started to read the book. And I read it exactly the way you read a law book, looking for the loopholes. And there are a lot of loopholes in this book, except for to do so would injure them or others is a fantastic loophole. We are not saints. That's an all encompassing loophole.

However, I would advise you to be a little careful because when you jump through those loopholes, they have a tendency of closing up just before your neck clears, and you're gonna be left hanging out the dry. Now I made the mistake one day of going to this guy and asking if he'd mind explaining to me what was in this book. And he said, no. Of course not. I'll be glad to.

Now he died here about 3 years ago, and I'm sure he died on his terms, not on god's. And he never, in his life, to the best of my knowledge, ever answered a question directly or done anything without some kind of an attachment. And what he said to me was this. He said, if you'll tell me what's on the first page, I'll tell you what's on all the rest of pages. Kinda like a simple enough task for a man of my ability, so I memorized what I thought was the first page in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

And I thought it was a page that we have Alcoholics Anonymous are more than 100 men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. And I memorized that page word for word just like it was written, comma for comma, went up and repeated it to him. He said, that's not it. I said, it is.

He said, it is not. I said, it is. Went home really, there was. Went back, told him so. And he said, my young friend, that is not the first page in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

And I memorized every page from there forward in this book. The table of contents gave me a hell of a start, but damn it, I memorized them. And every time I go up to him and repeat it, he'd say that's not it. And finally, one day, I opened the book up, and I opened it up to this page that says Alcoholics Anonymous, and I thought I got him. I went up to him this one day, and I said, Alcoholics Anonymous.

He said, what's the matter with you? Are you nuts? And I said, no, sir. I'm not. You told me that if I told you what was on the first page of this book, you would tell me what was in all the rest of the pages.

And he said, that I would, my young friend, but you have not. And with that, you know, each October picked up a book and held it up so I could see it like this, and he said, this, my friend, is the first page in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. And if it has taken you over 3 months to learn about a page with nothing on it, how long do you think it's gonna take to learn about a page with a printing on it? Once again, he's made a fool out of me. But then he said something extremely important, I think.

He said that's the last time the white should ever bother you. From now on, just read the black, it'll make more sense. When you read this book and you start out with a doctor's opinion, you will probably be reading the most graphic example of alcoholism and the best explanation of it I have ever read anywhere. And I read many books, articles, and treaties written by some very learned people, and every one of them is either an attempt to extend, explain, or elaborate on what so forth put in this book almost 50 years ago. And, obviously, they have been written by some very well meaning people who don't have the first damn knowledge of what alcoholism really is.

You know what said about us? He said men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. And while its effect is injurious, it is so elusive that we soon cannot differentiate between the true and the false, and we become convinced that our alcoholic life is the only normal one. I'll tell you a remarkable thing about that incidentally. If you are convinced that your way of life is the only normal way of life, no matter what goes wrong, it's never your fault.

It's their fault, her fault, his fault, but it isn't yours. After all, you're living the only way life should normally be lived, and they are out of step. What do you think the effect produced by alcohol is to an alcoholic? Jails, fights? No, no.

No, no. For me, alcohol done something for my ego that nothing else did. It made me feel different. It made me believe I was something I was not, a better lover, better dancer, better businessman, better everything. And then it clipped me from a blindside like a quarterback being clipped by his own fullback, not knowing exactly what went wrong and never believing it was the alcohol.

And if you're curious about what alcoholism is, it's really very simple to understand. It simply means when I take one drink, I want another one. And over any considerable period of time, this will change into a need that is beyond human control. And left unchecked, I will die or go insane or both. It's simple.

The only known cause of alcoholism, incidentally, is alcohol. I don't give a damn what anyone else may tell you. Nothing else causes alcoholism. It is not caused by women. You can't drink a woman.

But alcohol causes alcoholism. I had a guy tell me once, he said, Coke is just nothing but a real dry martini. That son of a bitch had a poor bartender. He never knew. He didn't understand.

Unfortunately, so many don't. Another drunk can understand another drunk, ain't he? And before I get too carried away, I wanna tell you, fellas, something. I would advise you to make this program this time around. Because if you don't, you're going to come back as a woman, an alcoholic.

Now, don't you girls sit out there and laugh, because if you don't make it, you're going to come back as an Al Anon. Over any considerable period, it will get worse. It never gets better. But before we get carried away with this, let's understand something. Drunks, listen for a moment.

If it had not have been for Lois and Anne, there would have been no alcoholics anonymous. And don't ever forget that. Those women, with their courage to stand by us while we were doing what we were doing, was something I don't have no more than Tom had. I admire you. I don't envy you, but I do admire you.

But just be careful, fellas, because it can get worse no matter how bad it's been. And then you know what else Zofors said about us? He said we're restless, irritable, and discontent, Unless we can have a few drinks which we know will bring immediate relief and which we see others taking with impunity, it doesn't bother them. But once we succumb to the desire again, as so many do, the phenomena of craving develops, and we pass through the well known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, vowing never to drink again. And this will happen over and over and over.

And unless we can experience some kind of a complete psychic change, there is very little hope for our recovery. Now, incidentally, the next paragraph in the doctor's opinion holds out some hope. But because I had to buy this book and read it, if you wanna know what that hope is, you can buy your own damn book and read it because I ain't gonna tell you what it is. Now, when you start to read this book and you read chapters 2 through 7, you'll be reading only about the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, oddly enough. And there is one thing in that part of the book in the basic text that's extremely important that you rarely hear anyone talk about.

Because if you look at this program and you look at those steps, there's not one thing in there that says that when you do this, you will never drink again. So what are we really trying to do now? What is it that we're trying to accomplish? That one sentence says, laying the drink question aside, we can see where our way of life would have been wholly unsatisfactory. It won't work.

It It won't work. It can't work. Laying the drink question aside, our way of life would have been wholly unsatisfactory. And what this whole way of life is about is a way of drunk and stay sober and enjoy it. And you've experienced that joy this weekend with the people you've known, with the people you've heard, with the friends you've made.

And a spiritual way of life is a very simple way of life. It is not complicated, and it is not religious. It simply means something a little different than you've ever heard before. You know what human envy is, of course. Inspiration is identically the same thing on a spiritual level.

And now instead of envy ing what people have, you're inspired to do your best because of what they have done. And you'll find that instead of beating all you want, you now want all you've got, and your life has begun to change somewhat. And now marriages can last past the honeymoon, sometimes for a lifetime. And don't tell me, a, marriages don't work. I know better.

I've been married to Beverly 17 years, come August, and she was 6 years sober when she was lucky enough to find me. So they work. Believe me, they work. If you are not selfish. But if your selfish business won't work, marriage won't work, nothing works, because you want what you want, and you don't give a damn about anyone else.

You just don't care. When you read chapters 2 and 3, you'll be reading only about step 1. No more, no less. Do you ever read that stuff? I thought all it said was I had to admit that I was an alcoholic.

Hell, I do that on the way to end of a bar. But there was one thing in that stuff I did not like. When I come into Alcoholics Anonymous, I had made and spent $963,000. And I've been given one of the biggest medals they can hang around a soldier's neck in this country or in my country. And you weren't gonna tell me I was powerless over anything or anyone.

People were a commodity. You bought and sold them like anything else. So from the very beginning, I had difficulty with this way of life. And I had difficulty with it because of one word that you rarely hear. But I'll tell you what that one word is.

It's backwards. Every alcoholic is backwards. It's not that you're right or wrong any more than anyone else. It's just every damn thing you do. You do it backwards.

I had a friend of mine down South. He bought 4 brand new tires on sale, got a hell of a price. He didn't own a car. See? And if you ever notice, I'm light candles on a cake, and there's a lot of candles.

I don't care how long the guy that lights them has been sober. He lights the outside first and burn the hell out of his hands, trying to light the inside last. You see it over and over. So everything we do, we just do backwards. Now, the normal human being, he thinks, feels, acts and feels in that order.

If you don't like the way he feels, he don't do it again. Not an alcoholic. He feels first, reacts to the feeling, and then he thinks about it. Usually, how the hell can I get out of this one? And if you don't believe that, fellas, and I want you girls not to listen for a moment.

But if you are living in a very small, small town, you got a one girl cat house, and she has one of these other social diseases we talk about occasionally, and both an alcoholic and a nonalcoholic visit with her because it rains on the just and the unjust equally as well. Both will get that other social disease. The difference is that the nonalcoholic will not go back until at least they've changed girls. But the alcoholic goes back the next night. He believes this time it's gonna be different.

And besides that, he fell in love on the first visit. So you see that some of our difficulties are rather unique because we just do things backwards. And when you understand that this book is written backwards, you will understand AA far better. Now I was in the Marine Corps for a while. And believe me, surrender to win is not a Marine Corps axiom.

And I was in business for several years. And keep it by giving it away is not a business motto. You put it in your pocket, put your hand in your pocket and get the hell out of town, but you don't give nobody nothing. So you'll find out that this whole concept is totally backwards from any other discipline you may have encountered anywhere. And do you realize how backwards it is when you ask people like me and Tom and others to get up before you, like Billy, and talk for an hour from memory without a script.

That's never done anywhere else. Everywhere else, they got notes. We're the same people who couldn't remember where the hell we hit our car. And now you want us to remember? My God.

And the funny part of it is we do it. Powerless over alcohol. Three steps in this way of life mentioned power. The first, the second, and the 11th, all of them mentioning power. And when you read chapter 4, you'll be reading only about step 2.

And there's where most of us begin to have our troubles. We beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. What do you think it takes to make an alcoholic beg? A broken marriage? Ah, get the hell out of here.

What does he beg for? It's got to be important, isn't it? And we're not fearless or thorough from the very start, because we take step 2 and read it, and then we twist it. We have made counselors, we have made psychiatrists wealthy because we want to be restored to sanity, but we didn't want to come to believe. Or we come into our politics anonymous and try to become a power greater than ourselves and fail miserably.

We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore his sanity. It's so simple when you keep it simple. And when you read the first paragraph in that chapter, you see something remarkable because they say in the preceding chapter, you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non alcoholic. And they're not talking about the alcoholic and the non drinker.

I used to say Al Anon, but some of them people ring more than I did. No. They're talking about the alcoholic and the heavy drinker. And what's the difference between them? And you find out in chapter 2 that the heavy drinker, given sufficient reason, can quit.

These these things are causes for him to quit. Did you quit for those reasons, or did I? No, no. We couldn't quit. They did quit.

And then it lists the only 2 symptoms that are listed anywhere in Alcoholics Anonymous in this book for alcoholism, and there are only 2. It's as if when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely. Or if when you're drinking, you have a little control over the amount you take, you're probably alcoholic. If this be the case, you may be suffering from mannolus, which only a spiritual experience will conquer. If that's true, would you tell me now why so many people waste so much of their time on this planet trying to become emotionally stable and have so little to do with the spiritual way of life?

Hell, if you're crazy, just learn to enjoy it. Don't try to fix it. Think about cakes and alcohol. It's anonymous for physical sobriety. Didn't that ever occur to you?

We don't give them up for emotional stability. If we gave them out for that, Beverly would never get a cake. We got a guy down here in the South. You some of you people probably heard of this guy, Clancy. He's got almost 30 goddamn years on this program.

Praise he is a bed bug. But he goes back every year claiming he didn't have a drink, and they give him a cake with another candle, and that's all it takes. That's all it takes. Alcoholics Anonymous is not a substitute psychiatrist couch. It's the way a bunch of drunks can get together and laugh about what they don't remember.

That's all it is. We're agnostics. Now, I'd like to explain something to you right now. I was born and raised in southern Missouri in the Baptist Bible belt, and there has never been a case of agnosticism in that part of the country yet. I believed in God and Jesus Christ, and I still do.

That has not changed one damn little bit. And I've had a lot of people tell me that mentioning God or Christ from podiums like this to people like you is gonna drive some of you drunks out of here. It might, But booze will drive you back. So in the end, we're gonna break even. If you don't wanna hear about God, a power greater than yourself or a higher power, then I would suggest you never bother to read this book because you'll find it as mentioned some 228 different times.

And if you don't wanna hear about Christ or the devil, don't read page 11 because both of them are mentioned on that one page. In fact, it might be necessary for you to try to find another way to stay sober. And after you failed miserably, if you survive, come on back, and we'll talk about this spiritual concept that Alcoholics Anonymous has become so world famous for in the last 53 years and 2 days. Spiritual, not religious. Now on page 52 in this one chapter, you'll find 8 results of being either an atheist, agnostic or an egoist.

I didn't say egoist, even though some people say in my case that too would have applied. What I said was egoist. You know what an egoist is? An egoist is a person that, while he knows all about God, he believes only in himself. And if you believe only in yourself, you will think only of yourself.

And it is long before you'll live your life as if you was in a room full of mirrors, and every human emotion that goes out bounces right back. And if you feel any kind of pity, it will always be self pity. And you will find great frustration when you try to get other people to feel as sorry for you as you feel for yourself. And these countless, indifferent idiots just won't do it. Self pity.

Now, I said there were 8 results. I also said I had to buy this book and read them. So if you wanna find out what they are, you buy your own damn book and read them. I'm not gonna tell you what they are. But I'll tell you what 2 of them are.

One of them says we could not control our emotional natures. One of them says we were having trouble in our personal relationships. Oh, that's a beautiful word. You know where else relationships is graphically mentioned in this book? In chapter 11, where it says, see to it that your relationship with him is right and great events will come to pass for you and countless others.

Now tell me, fellas, is it possible? Most of the relationships we got involved with over the years went to hell so quickly because we went into it with what's in it for me. What can I get out of it? And we never existed. We never even had a chance.

Perhaps it's something we should all look at from time to time. And quite often, I hear people talk about something that I think is extremely dangerous. They just don't yet understand what they're saying. Have you heard someone say, I want self worth. I want self esteem?

Watch it. My book says abandon yourself to God as you understand God. It does not say one thing about glorifying yourself in any way. Esteem has value, of course. It is the esteem in which you hold me, not in which I hold myself.

What am I worth to you? I know what I'm worth to me. Selfish and self centeredness is the root cause of every damn one of our problems. Selfishness. We are God's kids, every one of us.

Every one of us somewhat different and yet alike. And when we begin to understand the we in Alcoholics Anonymous, we begin to understand what sobriety is, both for ourselves and others. And while I tell us in this book that we absolutely insist on enjoying ourselves, let's never forget we cry. Let's never forget that many still are. And we can help if we're thinking of others, along with thinking of ourselves.

But self esteem will turn to arrogance and self worth to conceit, and we'll be right back where we started because we just didn't understand to turn ourself over to God as we understood God, and become one of God's kids, and just enjoy one another. As the saints said, little children, love one another. Love one another. You people here in Calvary know what it's like. You know what it's like to help plant and help reap and help harvest.

You know what it's like to be flooded out and blown out. You know what it's like to be helped. I don't have to tell you about that. Just practice this principle in every damned one of your affairs. That's all you're asked.

Not complicated. Not difficult. Rather easy. How it works. You ever ask an old timer in AA how it works?

And he says, trust God and clean house. You won't know where he got it? Out of chapter 7 where it says, burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he too can get well, regardless of anyone. The only condition being that he trusts in God and clean house. Now, before I get into significance to that in chapter 5, there's something else I'd like to dwell on for a moment or 2.

And that's a small portion of chapter 5 we read. And, well, my God, they're reading it all over the country now, all over the world, I guess. At the international 3 years ago, they read it at all the meetings I attended. You read it here in Calgary. They read it in Boston.

They read it in Virginia. They read it every place I've been, Missouri, Oklahoma, Nebraska, Washington, Oregon, all over. You know what's wrong with reading it in every meeting? You don't pay one damn bit of attention to what's being read. That's what's wrong with it.

You're too busy looking at the girls' legs next to you, thinking what you're gonna do when you get the hell out of here. But you don't pay no attention to what's being read. I've heard a lot of people say you can work this program any way you want to. Maybe you can, but let me tell you what the book says. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

And there is no s on path, only one path. Says there are 2 kinds of people who ain't gonna make it. Those who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program. There, they're talking about the smartass and the wet brain, incidentally. Next time, one of you have a little drinky poo or some of you fire off some of them pocket rockets you carry around with you, and you're sitting out here on one of these street corners trying to figure out which one you are, I want to tell you right now, wet brain can't think.

You don't know which one you are. I just told you. Probably the most misquoted statement in all of AA is also in this part we read. Have you ever heard someone say, If you want what we have, that is the philosophy of a thief. It has absolutely nothing to do with way of life, and it's not in the book.

You know what it does say? If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you're ready to take certain steps. Have you made that decision? Do you want it? Are you willing to go to any length to get it?

If not, you ain't gonna get it. What you will get is a whole bunch of little technicolored buttons. Some of these meetings you have out to wear on your key chain. You might even get a cake or 2 with a candle on it, but I'll tell you what you will not get. Peace of mind, hope, serenity, contentment, any any of the things that makes life worth living, they'll simply be elusive.

They won't be there because you haven't made that decision. Don't be like an Al Anon. Make a snap judgment. Make a decision, for God's sake. At some of these, we bought.

Christ had 12 disciples. Alcoholics Anonymous has 12 steps. One of Christ's disciples was Judas. One of the steps is Judas. It doesn't make any difference what the number is.

You know which step it is? It's the one step you really believe you don't have to take. That's the Judas step. It's the one step you really say that don't apply to me. That's the one I'll throw you.

Always. Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of rigorvey. That word suggestion just excites the living daylights out of a drunk, don't it? Our book is meant to be suggestive only. Now, he takes that and runs with it.

Suggestive in Alcoholics Anonymous freely translated means you damn well better. I had a friend of mine who used to teach skydiving at the Mojave airport out in the desert, and he had a little acrylic tag like this made up that he hung on the rings of all those parachutes. It says this ring is meant to be suggestive only. He said he never had anyone ever fail to follow that suggestion. Or at least come back and complain about it.

Is a skydiver's life more valuable than the life of a drunk? Are we that foolish? Or do we just not pay attention? Probably the most misleading statement in all of Alcoholics Anonymous is also in that part we read. There are those 2 who are gravely, emotionally, and mentally ill, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Do you know how many people have been deluded into believing they can cure a severe emotional or mental dysfunction simply because they are honest and die or kill themselves after several years of sobriety. I've seen this happen too often to discount it. That's not what it means. It simply means that if you can admit that alcohol is a tremendous problem to you and those around you, that the chances are you too can stay sober even though you will be like Clancy for the rest of your natural life? Doesn't mean anything else.

Keep it simple. Most of us don't even know what honesty means. I didn't. I knew what dishonesty was, but I didn't know what honesty was. And I made the mistake once again of going to this guy and asking him, Do you mind telling me what honesty was as it applied to Alcoholics Anonymous?

Now, I got a good education. I still couldn't figure this one out. And he said, Well, he said, I'll tell you a little story. He said, Let's assume one day that there was a man and a woman who were both married to someone else, and they get together and decide to go to a motel together. And they go up to the desk, clerk to register, and he looks at them and he says, Are you married?

And they say, Yes, we are. He gives them a key, they go inside. Now, he said, You tell me honesty will apply to that. Well, I hadn't been in that position too recently at that time. It didn't sound like such a bad idea, but it seemed obvious what the what the thing was, you know.

And I said, Well, yeah, I I could see that. If they were honest, they just said, Yeah, we're married, but not to each other. He looked up in, he said, No, that's not it. He said, That would have been the truth, though, wouldn't it? And it would have eliminated the sin of omission.

But it has nothing to do with honesty. And for 3 more months, I puzzled that damn thing out. And I was in one rare mood one day. I planned on killing him. He didn't tell me what the answer to that damn thing was.

And I said, What about this thing, honesty, and the man or woman in the motel? I said, How about that? How does that apply? He said, Do you mean to tell me you haven't figured that out yet? And I said, No, I ain't.

He said, Young man, you astound me. He said, If they'd have been honest, they would not have been there. That had never occurred to me. But I'll tell you what did. Truth deals with facts.

Honesty deals with integrity. Honesty is action. And action, they tell me, is the magic word in Alcoholics Anonymous. Action now. Truth is important.

The next time someone tells you they're a thief and you invite them home with you and they steal all you got, don't come to an AA meeting complaining about them. They didn't tell you they were honest. They said they were a thief. Thieves steal. And how many times have we all been deluded because we believe someone was telling us was being honest when they were just simply telling us the truth, and we didn't have brains enough to know the difference.

Truth is important. Honesty is critical. Be honest. Action is the magic word, isn't it? Right after the ABCs where we stopped reading, a remarkable thing happens in this book.

It says being convinced we were at step 3, and step 3 is italicized. A little further over in that same chapter, it says this is step 4, and step 4 is italicized. There are 2 steps in chapter 5, how it works. 3 and 4, trust God, clean house. It took me 20 some years to figure that out.

You people are getting a hell of a break today. Do you know it? And I'm smart. Step 4. Beautiful step.

And you'll find there's 2 kinds of people, Alcoholics Anonymous. Those you cannot make take a 4th step, and those you cannot keep from taking a 4th step. I come from the first guy and I asked a guy once once you did take the 5th step. He said, when the statute of limitations run out, sounded like a good idea. If you don't take a 4th, you don't take a 5th.

Right? So I didn't take a 4th for a long time. This joker grabbed me one day. He said, Kid, you've been freeloading up this long enough. It's time you took an inventory.

What the hell? I took an inventory. Wrote it out in a long hand. See, the syntax was right. Punctuated it properly.

Edited it somewhat to readability. Put a little addendum with this resentment list they talk about in here. Put a loose leaf notebook and handed it to him. He took one look at it. He said, What's this?

A movie script? I said, No, sir. That is my inventory. He thumbed through it. He said, No, I'm an actor.

He said, I know a script. When I see one, this one won't play. End of it back to him. I said, That is not a movie script. That is my inventory.

He said, It is not. I said, It is. He said, It is not what you've done, my young friend, He's you've itemized your behavioral patterns. And I have no doubt that you bettered it so damn well that either you nor I will ever know how you was ever wrong about anything. With that, he reached this coat pocket, took out a small notebook drawer, one sheet handed it to me, says, Take your inventory on it.

I said, I can't. He said, You can't. I said, I cannot. It's too small. He said, It is not.

He said, Tell me, my young friend, did you ever knowingly take anything that did not belong to you? I said, Of course, I have. You know that. He said, I didn't write down thief. He said, Have you ever told a little story you knew did not match the facts in the case?

I said, Yes, I've done that too. You know that. He said, Then write down liar. I don't know about you, but I don't like the way this damn inventory was starting to turn out. He said, You haven't played around with the girls when you was married to somebody else?

I said, Yeah, you know that too. He said, And write down cheat. He said, Oh, incidentally, at the top of that page, would you write down atheist? I said, I told you I was a Baptist. He said, What's the difference?

You know, that sounded like a very crude, rude remark, except that it opened my eyes to something I had been blinded to previously all my life. Do you know a deep seated religious conviction is quite often a tremendous obstacle to a spiritual concept? Do you know how many times people have said, if you're not a good Baptist, what good are you? If you're not a good Catholic, you ain't no good at all. And the greatest of all spiritual concepts is only 2 words long and cannot exist.