The Foreword and the Doctor's Opinion of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous at the CPH12 v1 conference in Copenhagen, Denmark

Thank you. My name is Tom Needham. I'm an alcoholic. Again, on behalf of, Linder and Peter and myself, I'd like to, thank you all the people that have, come tonight, and of course, all of the, kindness, fellowship, and hospitality that was provided us to us by Inar's family and, his friends. I've met so many people, you know, like, thus far, you know, I can, I have problems, remembering names in English much less than names in Danish, so I so forgive me?

What we'd like to do, to begin this evening, this, 12 step happen, is to, we start off in the United States. I know, a number of you may be familiar with it, but we have a prayer, And, it was given to me after about 20 years bouncing in and out of the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, and it served me well and it still does today. So what I'd like to do is start this prayer. It's nowhere in the book, but it is in the book all over the place. And, so if you will I'll say a few words and you can repeat after me until till we finish the prayer.

God, please lay aside everything you think we know about myself, about my disease, about these steps, about the meetings, but most of all, about you, god. For an open mind and new experience in all these things. And if we would just wanna go into, meditation just for about 1 minute. Yeah. Of course, you, people know that we're, we're working from, obviously, the American version of the, the basic text, Alcoholics Anonymous, tonight.

And on the title page of the, basic step, the basic text, it talks about it gives our first promise, and we'll find promises throughout. And it's not only in the 9th step on page 84, I think it is, our book. We have many promises throughout, and we'll see them as we go along this weekend. But on the first page, in the title page, it says the story of how many thousands of men and women have recovered recovered from alcoholism. As Peter shared tonight, it's not about recovering.

I've heard, you know, like some people, you know, say, recovering if, one of my friends says, if you're recovering, you're probably not. And, but that's a promise. If I know find my truth that I'm a real alcoholic. K? It's a promise for me that I can recover from what this is, which is appears to be a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

In the 3rd edition of Alcoholics Anonymous, the text, there was the circle and the triangle. And back in 72, it was taken out for reasons that I won't go into right now because our time is limited. But it, that's another thing that served me well. For many years in Alcoholics Anonymous, I for whether it was out of fear or pride, I would never raise my hand when I saw something or when someone said something and say, what do you mean by that? What does this mean?

What does that spiritual term mean? And my experience has been that this, circle and the triangle that was given to us in in the 3rd tradition, It's not here, so I'm gonna I'm gonna do the best I can. I and I'm gonna make a perfect circle. And I usually I usually use a, a medallion, an a chip or a medallion, but we don't have one that big yet. So I'll just, do the best I can.

I hope I'm not wasting too much air time here. But on the left side of the triangle, we have unity. On the base of the triangle, we have the word recovery. And on the right hand of this triangle, we have service. And I didn't realize how important this was until the man that carried the message to me, you know, showed it to me.

And the way it was shared with me, I take my mind. I bring it to this basic text, recovery. And I find recovery in the basic text, in the first 164 pages of our big book. So I'm bringing my mind to that big book, and it was important for me to get that lay aside prayer, because I come with a lot of things that I think I know. So it's important for me to say that prayer and be and trust God that he's gonna take me to this place to clear my mind, to see what's happening.

Talks about the fellowship. I was asked where I find unity, and I thought I found it in places like in, in the meetings and I was correct. So I have the meetings is fellowship. The physical aspect of that is to take my body and bring my body to meetings, Bring my bodies to the meetings. And the promise here is in our in the recovery on the 12th step, it says having had the short form of the of the shade.

It says having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps. So it's having a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps. And I take my awakened spirit and I bring it out to carry the message to another alcoholic. And it shares in this book a place and how I enlarge my spiritual life. That's why giving it away because my sobriety isn't about me anymore.

My sobriety is about you, how we can help you. So I enlarged that spirit. It was also shared with me that this is actually an ancient spiritual triangle. So I have body and I have mind and I have spirit. And if I practice these, it's supposed to I have to apologize.

That's not exactly an equilateral triangle. But if you practice this equally, you practice those lines equally. And if we do this a day at a time, okay, we cannot add one place, be 1. Doesn't mean that we're recovered and we we stop doing this stuff. This is about a way of life doing this for the rest of our lives.

So that's, basically it. If, as far as the circle and the triangle is is concerned. But it is a spiritual it's an ancient spiritual triangle, and it's been here for, ages. The forward to the 1st edition. Well, let's just take a look at the table of contents just for a minute.

And, in the table of contents, the way it was shared with me on how this book is laid out, And I miss this too for many years that, from the preface all the way down to the 4th edition is basically general information, and we'll get get into just a little bit of that tonight and not much due to the limitations of time that we have. But he he shared with me from the doctor's opinion all the way down to, more about alcoholism is step 1. And that gets into a little more detail as we go on. I won't get into it now, but that's the way it was provided to me. And we, agnostics, we shared that that was step 2.

How it works with step 3 and step 4. Chapter 6 into action It's step 6 through 11, And working with others is step 12, carrying the message. And the rest of those chapters, we carry the message in other words as well. And it was, shared with me to to use those other chapters to try to keep the focus on into the wives, the family afterwards, employers, and a vision for you to practicing these principles in all our affairs. So we skip to the preface and then the forward to the I'm sorry.

In the preface, in the second paragraph of the of the American edition, it says, because this book has become the basic text it's It's important to circle that basic text for our society and has helped such large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recovery. There exist strong sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. Therefore, the first portion of this volume or the first 164 all the way up through page 164 describing the AA recovery program has been left untouched in the course of revisions made for the second, 3rd, and 4th editions. The section called the doctor's opinion has been kept intact just as it was originally written in 1939 by the late doctor William d Silkworth, our society's great benefactor, And that he was. And we'll see how Alcoholics Anonymous and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous wasn't even given to us by alcoholics.

It was given to us by a doctor, a kind doctor, that was dedicated, and also by some kind people, you know, in a fundamental religious movement called the Oxford Movement. We'll skip to the, forward to the, first edition. I'm sorry, the forward to the 2nd edition. And it's important to note here, it's important to note because it shows at the top, I'm not too sure if it shows it under the Danish edition, but it says figures given in this fold describes the fellowship as it was in 1955. And that's sort of important because in 1935, we're gonna see in a little while that our fellowship was born.

And, and here it is. They're talking about 20 years later when the when the second edition was, put out for publication. In the bottom of that, the bottom paragraph on that page, page XV, shares the spark that was to flare into the 1st AA Group was struck at Akron, Ohio in June 1935. During a talk between a New York stock broker, Bill Wilson, and an Akron physician, doctor Bob. 6 months earlier, the broker had been relieved of his drink obsession by a sudden spiritual experience.

Following a meeting with a friend with an alcoholic friend who had been in contact with the oxford groups of that day, and that alcoholic friend was a guy by the name of Ebby Thatcher. The Oxford group was a fundamental religious movement, and it was, it was actually they were basically trying to change the world, but I mean it was a thriving movement and it was based on 1st century Christianity And that's that's where they were taking their lead from, 1st century Christianity. He had also been greatly helped by the late won William Deisel, who had the New York specialist in alcoholism, who has now accounted no less than a medical saint by AA members and whose story of the early days of our society appears in the next pages talking about the doctor's opinion. From this doctor, doctor Silkworth, the broker, Bill Wilson, had learned the grave nature of alcoholism. Bill was provided knowledge about the grave nature of alcoholism.

What was wrong with him by this doctor? Though he could not accept all the tenants of the Oxford groups, He was convinced of the need for moral inventory. Step 4, confession of personality defects. Step 5, restitution to those harmed. Steps 89, helpfulness to others.

Step 12, a necessity of belief in independence upon God. We can go to step 3. We can go to 10. We can go to 11. We can go to 2.

It's taking us to that place, taking us to that place. Prior to his journey, now this is sort of interesting, It shows that prior to his journey, his meaning Bill Wilson's journey to Akron, the broker had worked hard with many alcoholics on the theory that only an alcoholic could help an alcoholic, but he had only succeeded in keeping sober himself. Now Bill Wilson, he he, his sobriety dates dates back to one day in December of 1934 and it's 1935 now. So about 6 months has elapsed And Bill got this deal going that he's gonna be president of something relating to, you know, rubber attire company out in Akron, Ohio, and and Bill has an attachment. He has an attachment that he's gonna make some money.

He's gonna be on top again. And, what took place he he was a little down though because he was trying to work with other drunks and he was trying to help them. But he could only succeed for a period of about 6 months and only say and sober himself. And why is that? So the way the story was shared with me before just before Bill took off and went out to Akron, he stopped over to, town's hospital up there where doctor Silkworth was up on the upper west side of Manhattan.

And, he went to doctor Silkworth, and he asked me. He says, I don't understand. Nobody wants to hear the message. Nobody wants I I can't help anybody. Why can't anybody stay sober?

See, what was happening with Bill, he experienced something that was called this profound spiritual experience, the white light experience that we've that we who have, some knowledge of, alcoholics and arts history. And Bill Wilson, that's what he experienced. So to Bill, it was all about god, and that was true. It's all about God. But the problem with Bill was he was taking this like some of us do today, including myself.

When I first experienced that, I'm taking this book and I'm taking the god experience, and I wanna knock people over the head with it. You know? So he was sharing this with doctor Silkworth, and doctor Silkworth's home to me. He says, Phil, you gotta stop the gods, Phil. You got to these drunks don't understand where you're coming from with the guards stuff.

You see? Because, I mean, they don't have an experience with the god stuff. They have to know what the problem is. They have to know what the grave nature of alcoholism is. You've got to share with them.

You've got to tell them where you came from to make that identification. So Bill took that with him, and he went out to, Akron, Ohio. And it goes on to say, the broker had gone on to Akron on a business venture which had collapsed, leaving him greatly in fear that he might start drinking again. He suddenly realized that in order to save himself, he must carry the message to another alcoholic, and that alcoholic turned out to be the Akron physician, doctor Bob. This physician, doctor Bob, had repeatedly tried spiritual means to resolve his alcoholic dilemma, but had failed.

So what was happening, Bill got caught up in the Oxford group by Abby carrying the message to him in New York, but this movement was so big and it was thriving in the United States. Doctor Bob's wife, Anne Smith, and Henrietta Seveland, and there were a number of others out there that were into the Oxford movement out in Akron, Ohio. And doctor Bob was going to these meetings, these Oxford group meetings, but he wasn't getting anything. Nothing. They were talking about it, but he didn't know what his problem was.

Doctor Bob didn't know what his problem was. He's praying. I'm sure he's doing this. He's doing everything that is his wife, the good Al Anon, that's trying to fix him is telling him to do, but he don't get it. So it goes on to say, but when the broker, Bill Wilson, gave him doctor Bob, doctor Silkworth's description of alcoholism and its hopelessness.

The physician, doctor Bob began to pursue the spiritual remedy for his malady with a willingness he had never before been able to muster. He sobered never to drink again up to the moment of his death in 1950. This seemed to prove that one alcoholic could affect another as no non alcoholic could. And my wife, Jenny, really got restless, irritable, and discontent when I started to get well, and I she didn't fix me. But it also indicated that strenuous work, strenuous work, one alcoholic with another.

I must continue to do this for the rest of my life. It's vital. The third part of the triangle, carrying this message was vital to permanent recovery. I'm Peter, I'm an alcoholic. And I was told I talk so too fast so I will talk like this the entire weekend.

In New York you have to talk fast and you get in a lot of trouble. There's a couple of things I I want to get just throw out. Let's talk about the spiritual experience of waking up. I use that a lot from some of my influences. And, just sit with this for a second from a book by Anthony de Mello.

It says, Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don't know it, are asleep. They are born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. Yet all mystics, Catholic, Christian, non Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion, are unanimous on one thing, that all is well.

All is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox to be sure, but tragically most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep, they are having a nightmare. And what this work does is allow us to, as I talked about earlier, get removed of a lot of attachments and belief systems. We act, we listen, we be based on all belief systems, and when we get free of that stuff we're made new again.

How many times people give us information even in alcoholics anonymous and we're listening with ears that are attached to old belief systems? How many times our behavior, our thought word indeed is based on belief systems that no longer work, But God forbid we should let go of that and try something new. So all is well. So we try new information. It's really by dismantling or disengaging what so attached to with this work and we're made new.

Something to sit with. Forward to the first edition, we we went right past it, for a reason. It says here we of Alcoholics Anonymous are more than 100 men and women have recovered from a seemingly hopeful state of mind, obsession, and body. It says to show other alcohols precisely how we recover is the main purpose of this book. This book, we follow directions, will show us how to get to a place called recovery.

I'd like you to circle the word precisely on that page, and in the margin you could write the words clear cut, precisely, exact, and specific. Those words don't tell you, well maybe if you try it this way it'll work. Our book uses those words in several areas because they bring us right to the point. A clear cut set of directions on how to get free is what this comes down to. How do we get free by being integrated with this power?

The 3rd edition of the big book, Outlaw Exonomous, if you have a 4th edition you will not see it. I think a few non AA's had something to do with this, but that's something that I have to deal with. But on the fly page of the 3rd edition, it says right in the middle about 2 paragraphs down, 2 thirds of the way down, it says, but the basic text, pages 1 to 164, have remained unchanged. This is the AA message. Specifically, the message we're carrying ought to be from our experience from page 1 to 164, from the doctor's opinion to 1 to 164.

Primarily, that ought to be what we're carrying 1 drunk to another because that's what works. What has happened over the over the years, you you will hear, you will go into a lot AA meetings and you will not hear anything to do with this book. In fact, you usually have to duck for gunfire if you mention this book in some meetings. Right? How did that happen?

One of the things why they wrote this book was fear or concern about the message getting watered down. So we have just a 1000000000 copies of big books out there, and yet it's never or rarely discussed. People who are into this book are labeled back home big book nazis. Isn't that a terrible word? In Iceland, they're called Taliban.

Isn't that a horrible word? What a what a what a what a pathetic comment for people who are looking to do the deal. But you catch resistance and bless them because they're riding maybe a different donkey up the hill to get to paradise. But me if I'm awake I can be a teacher rather than getting angry and becoming resistant. I'd just like to share, one thing that, you know, Peter mentioned and then I failed to mention when we're talking about the the end of the, forward to the second edition.

On the bottom of XIX in the, American edition, there's the last line there. I mentioned before 1955 was important. So 1935 is when the fellowship began, when Bill and Bob, got together. So 20 years elapsed from 1935 to 1955. And like Peter was talking about now, you wouldn't have heard this back in those days in that 20 year period that people would look at you or call you something like a, big book thumper or words to that effect.

It says, while the internal death difficulties of our adolescent period were being ironed out, public acceptance of AA grew by leaps and bounds. AA grew by leaps and bounds. For this, there were two principal reasons. The large number of recoveries, that means a large number of people that became recovered, alcoholics, free, and reunited homes. That's interesting.

These made their impressions everywhere of alcoholics who came to AA and really tried. Really tried what? What do you think they really tried? Did they really try to go to 90 meetings in 90 days? My experience was in back in 1978, I did what you people told me to do.

Name meetings, 90 days. No problem. I went to 2 meetings every weekday, 3 meetings every week weekend day, and I was doing that for about 2 or 3 years straight. Meanwhile, I've got a wife and 3 children back home, And all my free time is spent on the job at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I was useless and running around restless, irritable, and discontent because I'm not a recovered alcoholic.

It said of alcoholics who came to AA and really tried this program of recovery, 50% got sober at once. That's a 50% success rate. 1 out of every 2 alcoholics that came into Alcoholics Anonymous tried this program and got well and got well. And then it says, 25% sobered up after some real accidents. Those are those people like I was who had contempt probably prior to investigation.

And they said, let me drink again. And I go out and I drink and I come back and I really try. And now it's a 75% success rate in Alcoholics Anonymous. Then it goes on to say, those who stayed on with AA showed improvement. I gotta take a page out of Joe's Joe's book.

I don't know what that means. I don't know what shows improvement means. I I just don't know. Maybe things got a little bit better, but apparently, you know, they're not talking about freedom there. But I have to tell you today is that I've experienced in the last 9 years an incredibly joyous, happy, and free life.

And people can say what they want in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, or they can say whatever they want outside. Okay? I have to be fed by the food that's in front of me. I have to nourish me. K?

And does this work for me? My friend Mark talks about the effect. I like the effect that's produced by what I do today in Alcoholics Anonymous. Just curious. How many people are at their first big book, workshop?

Welcome. Good deal. And I guess the rest of you guys are repeaters coming back to the second and third time? Okay. Welcome.

How many people here think they're alcoholics, real alcoholics? How many people think they're addicts? How many people think they're both? Who's not sure? Okay.

Not sure. Okay. Okay. One of the things to consider going through this is, some of the questions we'll throw out, you can sit with. By the time we go through a doctor's opinion up to, page 43, we'll throw some considerations out that may help you find where you are in this, where where your truth is.

I I've seen people come into AA thinking they're alcoholics. You can never do this deal. And they're miserable in here, they're not drinking, and they find out they're not alcoholics. And you know what? They've gotten free.

They're just living their life. You know, maybe they're just spiritually lost and need, outside help. So it's pretty neat to see who's here for the first time and who thinks they're addict and alcoholic or just one or the other. We'll go over the doctor's opinion and some pretty neat things in here. It says we of alcoholics anonymous believe that the reader, that you and I will be interested in the medical estimate of the plan of recovery, I like to underline the word plan of recovery described in this book.

Plan of recovery, when I'm not feeling well I go to a doctor and he prescribes for me, and he tells me take some medicine, follow certain directions, simple rules. I followed him, in a week or 2 I'm feeling good again, and whatever was ailing me is gone. We come to Alcoholics Anonymous with a a fatal illness that we forget it, it's fatal when we're here, but it is fatal. And we're given simple set of directions, a plan of recovery on how to get free, and we decide to play doctor along the way. And we see people dying alcoholics anonymous because of that, and We lose and we never hear from them again.

So this is a one big, you know, prescription on how to get better and we need to look at it that way. This allows me to go and do things outside of AA along with our callers anonymous and have different experiences, never instead of. Again it mentions, it's this convincing testimony must surely come from medical men who have had the experience with the sufferings of our members and have witnessed our return to health. And part of that witness return to health, if you skip down a bit to where it says, to whom we may concern, if you go down 3 paragraphs, second sentence, they're talking about Bill Wilson here. It says as part of his rehabilitation, he, Bill Wilson, commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, oppressing upon them that they must, I'd like you to circle the word must, do likewise with still others.

We must pass this on. This has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and underline and their families. As Tom just talked about, you know we could be in meetings all day long and a family's in shambles, that is not what we do. We bring this home. This man and over 100 others appear to have, circle the word, recovered.

Flip over to XXIV in the 3rd edition. I'm not sure what it is if you have a 4th edition. Something very subtle that the doctor writes here that always hit hit me as very profound. It says in the second sentence, I'm sorry the last sentence says, you may rely absolutely on anything they, those are the AA's, say about themselves. I think that's a real statement of credibility to people who finally wake up.

A doctor here is saying you can rely anything on anything they say about themselves. Now you know when we're in the cups, anything we say no one's listening to let alone relying on, and here's a doctor who says rely on anything they say about themselves. I think that's very, very powerful to shift that others see us, see in us, that they're able that he's able to say something like that. Isn't it interesting when you're speaking to someone in Aqua Autonomous, you know who's doing a deal? You I know for me, I know they're being really honest and upfront with me, that that they're not running a game on me.

Take that same individual in the grip of the grapes, I don't believe anything they're telling me. Isn't that miraculous? The physician who at our request gave us this letter has been kind enough to enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows. In this statement he confirms what we, that you and I who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe that the body, and they're talking about the phenomenon called craving, the allergy here, of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind. Most people would say, my god, what's wrong with you?

Why don't you just stop drinking? But they don't understand that it isn't just mental, that I can't not only stay away from it, but once I pick up, I have this phenomena called craving that I cannot stop after the second. In fact, as a friend of mine in New Jersey says, you know, stopping after the second drink, that's alcohol abuse. It did not satisfy us to be told that we cannot control our drinking just because we're maladjusted to life, that we're in full flight from reality, or outright mental defectives. These things were true to some extent, in fact to a considerable extent with some of us.

But we are sure that our bodies, and I'm talking about the allergy again, were sickened as well. You'll see how our book starts to it's doing it already, separating us from other drinkers. It separates us over and over and over again. That's why this gentleman here who's not sure who'll find truth in this. It'll separate us here.

They're already talking about how our bodies are are really abnormal compared to the what we will call the hard drink or the moderate drinker. There's something that goes on once we pick up this drink, this phenomenon called craving that never occurs in the average tempered drinker. Never. We're gonna get to that in a sec. It says, but we are sure that our bodies were sickened as well.

Any belief, in our belief any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete. So already talking about 2 parts they just mentioned. They talked about mind and body and we'll talk about spirit he talks, later on about. The way it was shared to me from the doctor's opinion up to the top of page 23, we're gonna be focusing primarily on the body. We're gonna hear some stuff about the mental obsession in there, but the way it was shared with me was to focus.

You see, before I, when I bounced in and out of Alcoholics Anonymous for a couple of decades, I, I used to raise my hand in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I said, my name is Tom. I'm an alcoholic. I'm a drug addict. I'm a compulsive gambler and on and on and on.

My experience with the doctor's opinion and going through all the way to the top page 23, taking my experience, saying that lay aside prayer and trust in God that he's gonna reveal to me something. And it showed up that I'm not an addict, and I'm not a compulsive gambler. See, I walked away from crystal meth and I did a lot of it, and I made a lot of money from it. And I'm not a compulsive gambler. I have to tell you, I go out to Atlantic City today and out to Las Vegas, and I'm the one that's grabbing my wife from the slot machines.

Let's go get a bite to eat. See, the spiritual malady for so many years, I didn't realize that I was suffering. Something was wrong. But like my friend, Joe, says, I was suffering from part of the disease, the spiritual malady that I didn't even know I had. Didn't even know I had.

So do I believe that my body my body, as it relates to alcohol, is sickened as well? The doctor's theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interest us. As layman, our opinion as to its soundness may, of course, mean little. But as ex problem drinkers, we can say that this that his explanation makes good sense. It explained many things for which I could never otherwise account.

I'm on my way down to, work. I'm shaking. I'm not drinking yet. I wake up in the morning, I'm shaking. I need a drink.

I'm going to downtown Manhattan. I hit a bar before it's legally supposed to be open. The man lets me in because he lets a lot of drunks in at the bar, and I just need a few. And I ingest that alcohol into my system, and I have all intent all intent to just go out of that bar after I take the edge off and start to feel okay that I'm gonna get out of that bar. I'm gonna go upstairs and go to work.

And I know I'm gonna come downstairs maybe a couple of hours later and have a few more because that's what I do. That's what I do. But you see what happens to me is that I'm in that bar and I get to a place of ease and comfort, then I should be okay and I should keep on going. Just go right upstairs, Tom. You're at that place of ease and comfort.

No. What happens to me being a real alcoholic? Something else takes effect. This this phenomena of craving, and I have an important appointment to make. My job, and I can't make it up there.

And I go over to the phone, and there's an Indian gentleman there. And I pick up the phone. I say, Tilak, I can't make it in today. I can't make it in. What's that about?

Did that happen to me with drugs? No. No. I gotta take a real look at that. Flip over to page XXVI.

Again, 3rd edition I'm working out of. It says, we believe and so suggested a few years ago that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics, and this is what Thomas was referring to, is a manifestation of an allergy. An allergy is an abnormal reaction. That this phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average tempered drinker, never occurs in the average tempered drinker. These allergic types, our book will say alcoholics of our type in that class, allergic types, real alcoholic, they give us labels, they they separate us.

It says these allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all and once having formed the habit found they cannot break it. Once having lost their self confidence, thus their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve. Next paragraph, it says, fraud the emotional appeal seldom suffices. If you love us, you'll stop drinking. Your boss called, he's gonna fire you.

The children don't want you to drink anymore. I'll kill myself if you drink again. Divorce, separation, love of children, love of parents is insufficient when it comes to battling alcoholism. And what's really sad, because I've been on the receive I've been the receiver of alcoholism, Deep inside you wanna stop in the worst way and you know you're killing people and you can't. You can't.

That's powerless. It says, the message which can, interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth in weight. Please come at me with something that's credible, that has depth in weight, that I can identify it with one drunk helping another. I can't identify with a crack at it. I have no identification.

I can identify with pain, but I don't understand the allergy or whatever they suffer from. Please be a drunk talking to me and give me something that I can hold on to because it's gonna tell me what I can do in a second about recreating my life. It says the message which can interest in all these alcoholic people must have depth and weight. In nearly all cases their ideals must be grounded in a power greater than themselves. If they are to recreate their life, and I like it underlying that, recreate your life.

When we come here in the place of being hopeless, we're given some instructions and we recreate our life as is what we do. We're reborn. We're made new. But if you if you've gone through this work and and you've had experiences with this book, how do I approach this this time to get a deeper relationship with this power? And can I recreate my life?

God's always creating. He's a creating machine. He's always giving. I can recreate my life now. I'm currently doing it.

I have been doing it. We recreate our life. We're made new. New experiences, new lives. So as we go through this book, you can really put a spotlight on where you are currently, right now, today, this week, this month, where am I now?

And can I recreate my life? You can. My sponsor tells me if you go to an ocean with a thimble, you're coming home with a thimble full of water, and the master's giving all, so take it. He ain't running out. So we go through this, you may not have the, the sense of urgency of what we did when we approached this work the first time with the drink.

But is there a sense of urgency and and desire to wake up and recreate my life? I like to skip down the bottom of the page, the last paragraph. It says men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that while they admit as injurious they cannot after rent after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them the alcoholic life seems the only normal one.

Insanity of the life becomes reality. Spending rent money, not showing up for work, doing horrific things in the family and in our affairs becomes what we do. Spending 55 hours a day in a bar is what what I do. Insanity becomes the only reality I know. I can't differentiate the truth from the false.

I get drunk on a lie, not on truth, because when I stand in truth, I'm awake, aren't I? Can't get drunk on truth. It says to them the outlook life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable, and discontented unless what? We can experience a sense of ease and comfort by taking just a few drinks.

Relief, freedom, ease and comfort. If we're not experiencing ease and comfort in here, guess what? We start to get blocked from this power. How does that happen? Resentments, fear, anger, frustrations, terribly, williament, despair goes on and on and on.

Envy, jealousy, etcetera. And I'm not talking about little experiences with them because we get them. I'm talking about living in there. What'll happen? I need ease and comfort and alcoholism is not gonna say, hey, Pete.

Tomorrow morning around 10, we're gonna go get drunk, so be ready. It shows up and we go. We get taken. You know, if everything's falling down around you, you're sitting on your couch alone, how am I doing? You know if everything's falling down around you, you're sitting on your couch alone, how am I doing?

I'm not talking about walking in a place of bliss 7 days a week, 24 hours a day, some of us do, but how am I doing overall on that stuff? Am I talking to people about how I'm feeling, or has my ego gotten in the way because of old belief systems and attachments? What we say this weekend may disturb you. You may say the 2 of these guys are nuts. They're crazy.

I don't need to do this because I feel good. Maybe you do. Maybe your ego's telling you you feel good. Now in the previous paragraph up there when Peter was talking about 4th, the emotional appeal, Sultan, suffices. I think of when I was taken away in handcuffs out of my home by the police, and the turmoil that was going on in that house because it wasn't a home.

And my daughter crying, crying to her mother, pleading to her mother, stop them. And my boy doing the same thing. You know. Or earlier in life, when my father used to wring his hands, knowing, you know, that I'm not gonna be back for a couple of days, and all the harm and everything. All of that.

It's seldom suffices. Could not stop me. Alcohol was cunning, and it was powerful. It was my solution. Page XXVII.

Was that 27? Continue what I was reading 3rd sentence, it says after they have succumb to the desire again as so many do and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful with a firm resolution not to drink again. What happens? It says this is repeated over and over and unless this person can experience an an entire psychic change, there's very little hope of his recovery. On the other hand, and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand, once a psychic change or spiritual awakening or spiritual experience, a shift we wake up has occurred, the very same person, the very same drunk who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol.

I questioned this word desire, control my desire, I thought I had no control, power, and choice. It's the big book they made a mistake. What I had to be reminded was this is a doctor who was writing this. It easily able to control the desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules and and for me, those are our 12 proposals to get free. I was on to say men have cried out to me in a sincere and despairing appeal.

Doctor, I cannot go on like this. I have everything to live for. I must stop. So can I stay stopped on my own? Can you stay stopped on your own?

It's a question to consider. Do you need help? Do I need help? It's a question to consider. Page 28, Roman numerals.

It says there are many situations which arise out of the phenomena of craving, which cause men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight. The classification of alcohol seems most difficult in a much detail outside the scope of this book. There are of course the psychopaths who are emotionally unstable, we are familiar with this type. They are always going on the wagon for keeps, over remorseful, make many resolutions, but never a decision. There's a type of man who's unwilling to admit that he cannot take a drink, he plans various ways of drinking, changes his brand, his environment, there's a type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time, made 90 meetings in 90 days, right, that we can take a drink.

He says there's the manic depressive type who is perhaps least understood by his friends and about whom an entire chapter could be written. They're not types entirely normal in every aspect except in the effect of alcohols upon them. They're often able, intelligent, friendly people. All these and many others have one symptom in common, they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon called craving. Go back to the top where I just read, I have I have been emotionally unstable.

I have gone on the wagon. I have been over remorseful. I've made many resolutions, even made decisions. I planned various ways of drinking. I've been entirely free from alcohol.

I've changed my brand. I've changed my environment. I have been manic and I have been depressed. I've been certainly least understood by my friends, and I've been entirely normal in many areas. Yet with all of that, once I pick up a drink I can't stop because of the allergy that alcohol has in me when I drink.