Neskirkja in Reykjavik, Iceland

No foreplay. Okay. Just right up to it. Don't you guys look nice? You sure you're alcoholics?

Nobody's got any vomit on them. Nothing. I tell you what. I don't I'm Steve Porter. I'm an alcoholic.

Hi, Steve. Hi, everybody. Actually, I've been in Iceland over a week now, so I'm Icelandic because I'm alcoholic, and I'll just blend in and morph anywhere I go because I wanna be light. And so I'm changing my name. It's gonna be Snorri So I'm Snorri esthetic.

For those of you who get to know me well it'll be Ori for you, Ori for short. Wow. It has been, I'm so glad I didn't get drunk here. Man, it's cold out here. That street on a Saturday night full of vomit and other stuff.

You know? I've been speaking for about 2 minutes and said vomit twice. I don't know what that means for you guys tonight, but but you remember when you're drinking, vomit was your favorite stuff. Oh, so good. You know?

You play in it and finger paint, clean up your friend. Oh, it's okay. Fine. It's fine. Today, you get near it.

So, Iceland has been just terrific. It's a wonderful, wonderful place, and I am ready to be Icelandic. I know that June 17th is Independence Day. Oh. Uh-huh.

I I realized today that you guys are not responsible for killing the last Catholic bishop here in Iceland. The Danish king did that without a trial. It was not Icelandic people. Those Danes. Whatever happened to them?

They really screwed you over for a number of years and now they're like really cool. I mean, all right, we messed with Iceland. Now we'll just become socialists and hang out. So So I'll I'll tell you a couple of things. One of the great things about, my Friday date is May 25, 1979.

Now if some of you were born after that, and you wanna come up and thank me for my talk, please don't say, I got you. You were sober before I was born. It won't make me feel better. Okay? No.

No. One of the problems with getting sober and staying sober a long time is you get old. You come in, you're kinda young and cool, you end up wart Cleaver. So, for those who don't know Ward Cleaver is, leave it to Beaver's father. Anyway, one of the great things about being sober is everything is an example of what sobriety is.

Have you ever noticed that in meetings? You go, I didn't get my parking place today. Not getting your parking place is like being sober. You know what I'm saying? Or people get married, and they go, I got married last week.

Being married is like being sober. So whatever you do, it can be like being it rained today. Rain is like being sober. It was sunshiny today. Sunshine is like being sober.

So I've learned a couple of things about being sober while I was here. A one, this is just a natural place to be sober because you guys are storytellers. You got the sagas, the story, and that's all we no. That's all we do. Somebody went down there.

No. We don't. I'm not telling that story anymore. Harry the magnificent. It's I I love those.

Harry the wise. My my family, now that I'm Icelandic, I've traced it back. My first great great great great great grandfather was Stephen the drunk. After a while, we had Steven the half sober. I said on Saturday that Iceland the Vikings had the first, program for sobriety known to humankind.

It was only a one step program. When they woke up hungover, they went and raided somebody and killed them. Didn't get them sober, but they weren't feeling the headache. The other thing that it it struck me. I I was sitting in a noon meeting the other day, which was in Icelandic, so I was thinking, probably none of you think.

I think all the time. It's not usually good, but I do it anyway. I don't usually get up and go, it's going to be a great day. Not usually what happens. There's them.

See, because I don't like people. I really don't. I don't know if you guys I mean, I like you and I need you to like me, but I might not like you if you do like me. You know what I mean? That's alcoholism.

When you have to do a 4 step on somebody didn't invite you to a party you didn't want to go to. You know what I'm saying? Boo, them, why didn't want to go to that party? I mean, normal people don't do that kind of stuff. Thank God March didn't invite me.

Not me. Why didn't they invite me? I wouldn't have gone. They should have invited me. That's there's a great about an alcoholic male.

The women will understand this. But, he's at a party, and he meets this girl, and the girl goes, I'm from Brazil. Now, you just met her. Right? I'm from Brazil, and his head goes, I don't wanna live in Brazil.

Okay. Now if you're new and you're laughing, you're probably an alcoholic. Alright? Because all of a sudden, you're laughing with the rest of the sick people in this room. Because we could call this sick anonymous.

You know what I'm saying? In fact, if I if I could, I would change Alcoholics Anonymous from one that you know? And if and if you're new, you wanna change everything. I did the book, the way meetings are run, because I wanted them to talk more about me. Or after they stop talking about me, we could talk about what you thought about me.

But But I would change Alcoholics Anonymous from that name to does not play well with others anonymous. Because basically, we're the kids that went into kindergarten, grabbed the teacher by the scruff of the neck, and went, alright, bitch. I am in charge now. Give me the cookies and the blankets, and nobody gets hurt. Now let's take a little mini inventory, shall we?

If you and if you've never done an inventory just like reading your old report cards from school, it's very interesting. Read about yourself in the 6th grade. It's very interesting. But, anyway, let's look at it. Look.

We got all the cookies, all the blankets, all the toys, and we wonder why doesn't anybody like me? Now the drug addicts are in the back crushing the cookies, mixing them with other things, selling them back to the kids. I told that story one time when I was at camp out. I don't know if you guys have campouts here. If you ever come to the states, you have campouts, sober campouts?

Yes? No. No. Don't do it. It's scary.

Because all spirituality goes out the window. A sober fire? Doesn't matter if we burn Iceland down. Fire, big. Yeah.

The hell with steps. Fire. Fire my Howard power. So I was at this AA campground, and this guy said, come back. Come back with the I told that story.

He had his 1st grade report card, and it literally said, Paul needs to understand that the classroom only needs one teacher. He's 7 years old. How do you do that? You go in there. I I can take her.

Yeah. Okay. I'll be running this place, get their lunch money, alright, by Tuesday. First time I've left the house, but I need to control stuff. And in order to enjoy it, once I control it and enjoy it, I don't want it anymore.

I'll go find something else to control and enjoy. See, that's the problem with my drinking. I I can control it or I can enjoy it. What I can't do is control and enjoy it. Because if I'm enjoying it, I ain't controlling it.

And if I'm controlling it, I'm pissed off. Because it's your fault. Can't drink around those Icelandic people. That's right. So think stuff.

Can't drink around her. Of course, I picked her. Right? Out of all the hers I could pick, I picked her, but I'm mad at her now because she won't let me drink. Now, really, if you're having a problem with your dating, remember this.

There's only one thing in common with everybody you're dating. You pick them. Out of all the people you could have picked, you picked them. Because, you know, I walk up to a girl. I I come from a my mother was an alcoholic.

She died of the disease, and, but she was also depressed. So I my job first job as a kid was to cheer mommy up. Not because I'm a good kid. If I cheer mommy up, then she'll take care of me. Right?

That's what I want, and so I've got I've got great radar. I can walk into a room right now. Beep beep beep beep. Too healthy too healthy too healthy. Beep beep beep.

There she is, boy, Right across the room, and she won't look depressed. She'll look great, but she'll be mommy. Yep. So I've learned to stay away from beep beep beep. And you kinda go over here.

Much better. Beep beep beep. That's more exciting. Beep boop. We don't want excitement.

We've had enough excitement. Come this way. Yeah. If you haven't started dating an AA, I really especially if you're new, just get right into a relationship. Okay?

Just right into 1. Screw what your sponsor says. They did it too. That's why they're telling you. I love married people in AA.

They've never been single. They were drunk and married. Now they're sober and married. Don't get in a relationship in the 1st year. It's bad.

How would you know? But get into a relationship because I see people who get in a relationship do the steps much quicker. About 6 weeks of that early sobriety relationship, you know, where I don't need steps. I just need her. We don't even need beatings.

We can stay home. That's 6 weeks of that, you go, please, let me work a step. Oh, god. Here, give it right here. Step right here.

Right here. Come on. Shoot me up. Shoot me up. Please, Spot us.

I love newcomers. I love newcomers. Newcomers are the greatest thing in the world. They're nuts. I mean, in in New York, I lived in California for 22 years, and then I moved to New York.

And it's basically the same program, but the the, you know, the way meetings are run are a little different. However, in New York, they have one thing I've never seen anywhere else. It's called a newcomer meeting. Now in California, we had a newcomer meeting, but we didn't let newcomers share. We found their views on sobriety a little too interesting.

Now newcomers, if you wanna tell me how you think we should stay sober after the meeting, it's a good thing not to share that in an open meeting, especially if your sponsor's there. But in New York, they have these meetings, they're newcomer meetings, and they let newcomers share. The first people to share are the people with under 90 days. After them, people with a year or less. And if there's any time less, someone with their program actually gets to share.

Now newcomers, I can see the head, the smoke. Oh, just got you a 25 year old. Everybody was new. You know, every the one thing we all have in common in this room, we were all new. We all walked in that first day.

I got sober in Columbia, South Carolina, which is in the South, it's humid. Big sweat stains under my arms, shaking like a leaf, and I wondered how they knew I was drinking. But I'll tell you when I get out of those newcomer meetings, I realize how nuts I was at 90 days at 6 months and didn't know it. I thought I was doing fine. Fine.

I'm doing fine. I'm doing fine. I'm fine. Just stop drinking. I'm fine.

Feel better? Wouldn't one miss it? Love AA. Love love love AA dance? Oh, sure.

Love to go. Sober dancing. Oh, yeah. Coffee after the meeting where we sit around and talk without drinks? Sure.

Okay. Because if you ever go to you ever can you tell the newcomers at at an AA party because they're the ones with the candy. Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm gonna you know, anything.

Give me a buzz. They're over there, you know, free the coffee, smoking the nacho chips, anything. So I love newcomers, but you just don't really realize how crazy you are for a while. I love newcomers. This is sort of my typical newcomer.

A newcomer comes in and you go, how are you doing? And they go, fine. Fine. I'm doing fine. Doing fine.

Doing fine. Doing fine. I, I talked to my sponsor. My sponsor said clean house and find god. Clean house and find god.

That's what he said. That's what he said. So I got the vacuum cleaner out and I cleaned my house. I cleaned my house. Cleaned it.

Cleaned it. Cleaned it. Cleaned it. And I found a quarter. And on the quarter, it said trust in God.

So I found God. Found God. This is so spiritual. I found God. So and then I realized, God was dog spelled backwards.

So I got the dog out, and I looked at the dog and the dog looked at me and I looked at the dog, and the dog looked at me, and it was really so cool. But then I realized, oh, I'm late for work. So I got to work, and the boss went, why are you late? And I went, easy does it, man. He said, what?

I said, first things first? He said, yeah. First things first. You're fired. I went, bummer.

So I went to a new meeting and I shared. Now the old timer guys, they didn't really get what I shared, and they didn't dig it. But this newcomer chick, she really dug it. She really dug it. She really dug it.

So she came up to me after the meeting and said, will you be my sponsor? Now I got 30 days of solid sobriety, so I said, sure. Let's go back to my house and read the big book. So we went back to my house and read the big book. And you know what, man?

I didn't even have to sleep with her. I mean, I slept with her, but I didn't have to. Sobriety's so cool. And that's what it's like. You know?

It's just so you see somebody with well, they don't give all that too big chips, but in California, we give a chip for when you come in, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days. You know, so many chips you can make a Corvette. And, and anything you do, we applaud. Oh, yay. Yay.

You told us all to go to hell from the podium. Yay. He told me to put my hand somewhere where it couldn't possibly go. Yay. I never thought about having that kind of relationship with my mother.

Yay. So glad you brought that up. You know? But, you know, they got their chips on, and they've got, you know, circle and triangle earrings and a big ring. And on the back of their jacket, work the steps or die.

They wonder how you know they're in the program. They have a sticker on the back of the car. My other car belongs to doctor Bob. You know? And they're just how did you sober up?

Do you run into somebody in the supermarket that's got, you know, this, oh, you're sober. I'm sober. It's so cool. Let's let's get the cashier sober. She's not even drinking.

I don't care. Let's take her on a meeting anyway. Oh. She's probably a closet drunk. So, I drank a lot.

Okay? I I don't have a very interesting story. I don't have an interesting drunkalog, because, I mean, I did a few things. I drank with some communists in Colombia with some I took a few hostages. You know?

I never did well in the bars, but I did alright. I mean, somebody somebody from Iceland sent me a thing that they'd stolen my stock. I think it was Peter. But but I used one night, I was on Quaaludes. You guys still have Quaaludes in Europe, don't you?

You know they have Quaaludes and Viagra now? This is very scary. Very scary. Because Quaaludes, for those of you born before I after I got sober, Quaaludes was a sleeping pill, but that's not what you used it for. You wanted to stay awake on it, but it made you think you wanted to make love all the time, but you couldn't if you were a guy.

You know what I'm saying? Kinda get what I'm going there. Now Viagra will give you the ability to do this on this drug so you really can now screw yourself to death. What did he die from? We don't know, but he's very happy.

I'm not even sure he knows he's dead. I'm not sure she knows he's dead, but but I digress. Anyway, I went into a bar one night a little liquored up on Quaaludes, and the bar was called Group Therapy. One of my favorite little hangouts. And before I found her for the night, I had to visit the gentleman's room.

And the ladies room was right here, and the men's room was right there, and so I was leaning up against the door. Oh, actually, the wall was keeping me up, and out of the out of the door comes this woman, and I look at her because I'm smooth. I look at her, and I say in my best, And she looks deep into my eyes and she goes, people, how do you hear that? And out the door we went. 20 seconds.

That's my record. But, see, I never did well on the bars because I really didn't wanna work. You know, I'm an alcoholic. I wanna be a basketball player. I don't wanna practice.

I wanna play golf. I don't wanna practice. I just wanna be good. I don't wanna do the effort. Right?

I don't. And, so, basically, what I wanted to happen in a bar is I'm sitting on the barstool, and the door is open. And here's this blonde in a mink coat naked underneath. Don't ask me how I know. It's just the way it goes in my head.

And she she looks around the bar, and she sees me sitting there, and she knows how special I am. And the seas part, and she walks up to me, and she goes, I got a Ferrari outside and a $100,000, and I want you to come with me. See? And that didn't happen, you know, as as strange as it sounds. I don't know if I was being unrealistic in my expectations or what, but that just never happened.

So, usually, I went home alone, but I drank. I drank, and, you know, after a while I drank ethyl. Ethyl alcohol was my date. A night spent with Ethyl. And Ethel was my date because Ethel never let me down.

You know? In OA, they say the thing about food is you never have to dress for it, and it doesn't say no, which is true. I've made a trip to Haagen Dazs Dazs many nights. I've never had to say, would you like to dance? You know?

So, so I I I'm like you. After a while, it just I ended up in my house. I ended up in my house because I knew I was gonna get popped for drunk and driving drunk, and, I just and and it was fine. The one thing I believe is when and I understand if you're in here tonight thinking, geez. Can I get out of here and go get a drink?

Can I get away from these people? Can I say I'm going to the bathroom? Alright. I'm gonna sit here, but I'm drinking tonight. As soon as this meeting's over, I'm drinking.

I understand that because when I drank, it worked. See, when I drink, it's okay. It doesn't matter where I am. I can be in a nice hotel or I can be out on the street freezing. It doesn't matter.

Circumstances don't affect me when alcohol is working. It's all okay. Even if it's not, okay. You know? I can be in the back of a police car going to jail.

It's okay. She can throw me out with all my belongings. It's okay. You know? It doesn't matter.

But when the problem is, and if that was the way it worked, I'd never stop drinking. The problem is after a while, it's not okay. My hands started looking like Gene Wilder in blazing saddles, and, you know, I couldn't sleep. I was nervous. Basically, what happened is my body gave out.

I I didn't get a lot of the circumstances. I just hurt so damn bad. I couldn't stand it anymore. And if you hurt so damn bad, and that's the old saying, if you're sick and tired of being sick and tired, it's a great place to be, because you don't have to be that way anymore. I mean, I'm the last person on earth you'd ever think to get sober, and here I am.

Oh, here I am. I haven't had a relapse in 25 years. You don't have to. One of the things about that now is I'm very hard headed. I have to learn everything for myself.

Normally, if you told me, Steve, you go back out there and drink, it's probably going to be the way it always was, and most of the people we go out there and see drink again, come back in, don't look so good, don't look like they're having fun. Don't come in and say, I'm just stopping by the AA to tell you it's okay. I made a mistake. I'm not really an alcoholic. Now, you know, I believe those people probably exist.

People come in the rooms, their little problem, drink and come here and go, I don't think I'm like these people go out and change something or okay. They just don't come back to a meeting to tell us. If you have to go back to the AA meeting to tell them you're drinking okay, you're probably an alcoholic. Because one of my problems is I need to be right. I would rather be right than happy.

You ever hear that? The sponsor looks you in the eye and goes, would you rather be right or happy? Why can't I have both? Why do I have to choose? Well, if you had to choose, would you rather be right or no, let's go back.

Why do I have to choose? I want both. I wanna be right and happy. Well, see, Steve, if you're right, somebody else might be unhappy. I don't care.

I want to be right or I want so just remember if you're an AA, it doesn't take very much to be a guru here. This is not. Sometimes we like to think, oh, AA, the greatest spiritual movement of the 20th century. Henry Kissinger said that to somebody. God help us.

If we're the greatest spiritual movement in the 20th century, the 20th century was really screwed and were best to get out of it. You know what I'm saying? Because if you've ever been to an inner group meeting, if you've ever been to the club's trustee meeting, if you've ever been to the business meeting of your own home group and they've argued for 6 hours over the wording in the big book or where to put the 12 steps and the 12 traditions. When Bill Wilson was in Iceland, he put the traditions right there. Because you see, Alcoholics Anonymous is the most rigid organization on the face of the earth.

It is. Now we don't like to think that because we're alcoholics. Right? We wanna think we're cool. We're hip.

We're avant garde. That's when we're drinking. Get us sober, we get a little testy. Just try to change anything in your home group when you take the 7th tradition. Oh, mister chairman, when did we vote for that?

I think it was good enough when I got sober in 18/93 to get the 7th tradition before the meeting. Why do we change it? I was in a little meeting in, La Canada in California, and, they give out chips there, and they give out chips for 30 days. Now in California, you don't take a chip one second before your day. Right?

I don't know why this is the truth. It's not the truth in New York, but it's the truth in California. If you take a chip, something bad's gonna happen. So there was this woman down there, and they said, hey. I got got 30 days, and she was about 40, 45 years old.

She was just trying to be nice. She was just trying to probably codependent, trying to do something. She raised my her hand and said, well, I've got 28 days. Can I take a 30 day chip? Oh, my god.

You'd have thought she farted. Oh, god. No. You can't take a chip. We'll get boils and plagues and grasshoppers and everything will end.

You can't take a chip one minute before your time. This from a group of people that went out for a pack of cigarettes in January, Didn't come back to summer solstice. But don't take a chip one second early. So if you're new, just try to change anything in your meeting. If you're new, because see, if you're new, our job is to mess with you.

That's our job. Because we can't do anything else. If you're new, we can't help you. If you're new, we have no power. We are a human power.

We have no power. We have a message. We have experience, but you can't stay sober off your sponsor. You can't stay so in my opinion my opinion, I can't stay sober off my sponsor. I can't stay sober hanging out with you guys at the meeting.

I can't stay sober going to coffee afterwards. I can't stay sober doing all the service commitments. I can only stay sober if I have a spiritual experience sufficient to expel the obsession to drink, which is only brought about by the steps. Oh, yeah. Amen.

Amen. Amen, brother. Alright. Woah. Yeah, Lord.

Can I get an amen on that? Southern Baptist in Icelandic. Yo. Bubba Snorey. That's what we call him.

Bubba. Okay? Now all that stuff is great. All that stuff is terrific. And you know what?

When I first came in, I went to a meeting, didn't have steps, didn't have a sponsor. I didn't drink the next day. And for me, this was amazing. Some of you could go 6 months a week. I couldn't get a day.

That the thing I came into AA. Got a day. It caught my attention. Right? So I I I stay so I went to meetings.

I didn't drink. That stuff won't work for a while, maybe a great while. It's it's there, I think, to encourage me to get to the work. Wow. You're having a pretty good life, Steve.

Wow. You're not shaking. You're not throwing up, but feel a little better. You can show up for work. Wow.

Wow. You don't have to look behind. You know, I haven't been driving with one eye. I mean, I'll be all those things that you you figure out. You don't have to do anymore just because you're not drinking.

I don't have to think about when am I gonna drink today. Now on those days where you couldn't drink, and you're thinking about when can I get to it? You're rich. Boss, work. I'm out of here.

Just out of there so I can go drink. That's it. I'm just that's the only reason I'm out of there. So I don't have to so all that stuff is great. And there is a problem, I think, sometimes, at least probably not in Iceland and the AA meetings I go to.

And it's what I call it's not even a problem. It's good. But in the traditions, it says sometimes the good can become the enemy of the best. And it's what I call common sense AA. And common sense AA is great.

It's great. Like, don't go into a bar 2 weeks after you stop drinking. Now that's not what the book says. Book says you can go anywhere on the face of the earth. They did.

See? Because they didn't have a whole bunch of alcoholics. You're a business person, go into a bar. Not not anymore. Don't go into bar.

Don't make any major changes in your 1st year. Common sense. Now I'm really glad Eby didn't tell Bill Wilson. Sorry, Bill. You haven't got a year.

You can't go to Akron. Might be a much smaller program. Don't date in your 1st year. Don't get married in your 1st year. Don't get married before you date in your 1st year.

However, this is a true story. A guy used to know he was he was sober, and his sponsor said no dating in the 1st year. And so he didn't. He didn't date. He didn't date.

He got a year, and so he went to his sponsor. And he went, okay. Okay. Now I can date. Now I can date.

I got a year. I got a year. Now I can date. Right? And his sponsor looked at him and said, when is it gonna dawn on you?

You're married. He just feared if you couldn't date the 1st year, somewhere in that year, I'm married. I shouldn't be dating. No. That's too easy for an alcoholic.

So why can't I date and be married? Why do I need to be right and be happy? See? Why can't I have the cake and no calories? Why can't brussels sprouts make you fat and apple gabak make you skinny?

Anybody thinks there's a loving god up there. Come on. What kind of loving God to make brussels sprouts good for you? You. He's messing with you.

Just messing with you. You know all those fears you have? They're true. So, anyway, Thor's hammer. Boom.

So, anyway, so all of that common sense sobriety is good except for the you know what? Let's just take something that's really important you're told to do all the time, service. Service. And you know what? When I was new, they gave me a commitment.

I love Iceland. You still get to wash coffee cups in Iceland. All the meetings in states have gone to Styrofoam. Washing coffee cups is the greatest commitment you ever have. Because you sit there washing them, you know, then sometimes you don't wash them just to somebody spit in this one.

We're gonna I'm gonna give George, the guy with 30 minutes. No hot water in that one. We got some hot water here in arreke, Vic. Okay. So but service.

And it says, you know, I gotta give it away to keep it. But you know what? If I do service without the spiritual experience of the steps, somewhere along the line, I'm gonna get bitter because you're not going to appreciate it. I am going to be doing it for me. And if I do it for me, you will disappoint me.

Promise me. I don't care what you do. Ultimately, you're going to disappoint back quick enough. They'll actually be spending time with their family. They're not thinking about you all the time.

So the fact is if I do service with a spiritual experience, not always, but most of the time, I have some hope of giving it away for free and for fun. And if I don't do that, then I'm doing it for God. And I'm not liable to get disappointed in God the way I am in you, because he's big and he could be mean. And he can make a butterfly, and all I can make is Makes a glacier here. You know?

Still on a glacier. 7 150 meters of ice. I don't know what a meter is, but it sounds long. My guide couldn't translate it in defeat. I'm sure somebody in this room will before the meeting's over and tell me.

Well, 750 meters is we know that in elementary school here in Iceland. Snorri the stupid sun. Okay. So that's, you know, that's all and and the thing is we've been around a while, so this stuff grows up. You know?

But like I was saying, you know, we don't have we can't help you. Our job is to mess with you till you get it. Really is our job. There's no human power. And sometimes in AA, I think we need to go to Al Anon because somebody else slipped, and we went, what did they do wrong?

They drank, and they're alcoholic. What did they do wrong? Let's figure this out. Now sometimes it's easy. They went into a bar and ordered a drink.

Okay? No. That but why are they going to a bar? That's like going in and hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. You know?

It it's a wonderful story in the big book, you know, where the guy drinks the milk and puts the booze in the milk thinking, oh, it can't hurt me. Nope. Can't hurt me. Nope. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Not if it's in the milk, Rocky. Nope. No.

And if I said, if I put strychnine in the milk, sit here and drink it, it's in milk, it won't hurt you. I feel wine. Get that away from me. Me. But I can put ethyl alcohol, which is just as poise as to me as strychnine in milk and go, probably can't hurt me on a full stomach.

Oh, it didn't hurt me. I'll have another. That one didn't hurt me either. Let me have one more. Let me have them till they do hurt me.

Sort of like the way you date. But, anyway so new cards, really. We don't. We ain't got got no power. I'm not so I mean, you know, group of drugs, yes.

Well, you know, my first higher power okay. So I drank. I drank. I drank. I drank.

I ended This is just sort of the picture of my drinking. I ended up in my underwear in front of the television, 10 o'clock in the morning drunk, crying hysterically because they missed the word bubble gum on the $10,000 pyramid. You know, those drunk cries. I mean, I can't cry as well now as I did when I was drunk. You know?

Just those animal sounds. It's just like when I did that. You know? And you do that cry, and the codependent women just come flock You know? Oh, he's a poet with a deep soul.

I'll fix him. I'll take care of him. Oh, yes. Especially here in Iceland where all the everybody was a poet. I don't know.

They they did the sheep on the desert, and then then they wool, and they sewed, and then and then they wrote poetry at night. I'm ready to go to bed after I read their story. But let me just give you a hint for what it's worth. If you have to fix them, you might not want to date them. Let me go through that again.

Because I know it's radical information. If you have to fix them. If you look at them and go, they're perfect except for. You might wanna pass because there's a lot of people in this town and there's one that's probably perfect for you, you don't have to fix at all. That's sinking down, isn't it?

Okay. So so but I came in, and I just loved AA. I'm sort of weird about that. I loved AA. I thought it was great.

When I got sober, you never knew when one old timer in a walker was gonna have a fist fight with another old timer to walk over gratitude. You know, they get up on their 4 foot 2 height. I'm gonna get your ass about 3 weeks when I get over there. You know? People named Black Eyed Bart and One Legged Billy, and, and it just was, what a show.

Greatest show on the face of the earth is an AA meeting. You know, it's like when I lived in LA, you know, in movies they have the daily rushes. Well, your meeting is like a daily rush. You know, the dailies of the movie that's going on, some people are doing, I'm successful in business movie, and some people are doing falling in love me movie, and they're breaking up as hard to do movie. You know?

And it's just you just watch it, and if you sit there for years, you watch people go through things and and and just get better. It's such a privilege. It's such a privilege to be in a community. Because I don't know about you. I believe one of the paradox of recovery is the loner has to join a group in order to survive.

Say, I'm a loner. I'm a loner not because I want to be alone, because when I'm alone, I feel alone. You know? People who wanna be alone don't feel alone when they are alone. They're feeling good because they wanna be alone, and they are where they are.

I don't wanna be alone when I'm alone, but I feel like I have to be alone because if I'm not alone, you won't like me. Now I don't know where this comes from, but I just know it's true. I don't usually question information like this. Just has the ring of god to it. So so I'm usually alone feeling lonely, and one of my great blessings about being alcoholic is I am forced into a community of human beings or I will die.

You know? I will die. Now I I and I because what I believe is alcohol for me and for some of you, it was drugs. It's AA. But I have a feeling some of the people in this room did drugs.

Maybe even heavy trucks. Maybe sold a car too for a rock. I don't know. But so this this this this I've totally lost my place, so I don't know where I am. I'll just jump in somewhere.

So the sobriety thing. Sobriety is like forgetting where you are, you know? As long as you're at meeting you can always find yourself. See how I brought that back around? Because you gotta remember sobriety is just hiding your brain damage.

That's really all it is. So so they don't put you in the home before your time. Okay. Now I don't know about you, but then I oh, yeah. We're talking about becoming a community of people.

Alcohol is a replacement for people. When I have Ethel, I don't need you. Me and Ethel can go home, and I don't feel alone. In fact, I feel better with Ethel than I feel with you because I never feel insecure with Ethel, you know, until she turned on me, like women will. I was coming up.

Oh, I lost part of the crowd there. See, I was getting a little too much love, and I had to pull it back. No. I was I was shared at this meeting in Hollywood one time, and, I was speaking like I am now. And for some reason, this kid came and asked me some advice, and he said, he was Persian.

He was Muslim. And he was saying, I really I'm alcoholic. I need to go to meetings. I love AA meetings, but I can't go to AA meetings because there are women in there. And in my religion, women are the devil.

Well, I told him, okay. You're right so far. No. I said I said, well, I said, well, I guess what you'll have to do see, this is Los Angeles. There's a men's stag meeting every night.

I guess what you'll have to do is just go to all men's stag meetings and see what was interesting about that is is, you know, this American, I wanted to tell him about women's rights and all this stuff and get him straight about that because what kind of crap is these women are the devil, and then I wanna wanna tell him about other faiths that didn't but he didn't ask me about that. He seemed to be he had just asked me how to stay sober, and you guys taught me I didn't have to give him any of my other opinions. I could just tell him where to go, and the rest of that stuff's in god's hands. Mhmm. Now I don't know about you, but that's not who I was.

I had to buy him a beer and talked to him and talked to him and talked to him and talked to him till his eyes rolled in back of his head, and he got citizenship just to chop me up. So I have to join this community. Now the problem is, again, as I said, you know, I'm working on this spiritual experience thing, but I'm in this community with you, people. And you don't do it the way I think you should. You will not turn your will in your life over to my care.

The world would be a better place if you would just do it my way. But you have this opinion about your way, and you actually think your way is as good as my way. Some of you even think your way is better than my way. And I can't drink at you now. I can't drink this away.

I got a deal, and so that's where the steps come in because, you know, I was joking about getting in a relationship. You're gonna get in a relationship when you first get sober. It's called your home group. That's a relationship. May even be a sexual one.

I don't know. It depends on your home group. There, some of you go away to these sweat lodges here. Yep. I didn't have sweat lodges when I got sober.

No. Just had the steps. I love it. I'm 25 years, and I'm not an old timer. I'm just the old timer training program.

Training program where you teach things like, yeah. Yeah. It was a harder program when I got sober. You know? We didn't have chairs.

We set up rocks. We didn't drink coffee. We had fungus. That's what we had. Didn't have 12 steps.

Had 349 steps. Much harder program back then. Now let me just say something about that. Alright? I've been around AA for a long time.