Paul F. from Pheonix, AZ leading a Big Book Workshop taking people through the 12 steps as done in the 1940s at Solutions Halfway House in Pheonix, AZ

please help me open

today's session with a moment of silent meditation and please allow me to offer a prayer

after I finish that prayer I'll be concluding it with the serenity prayer at which time feel free to join me

god thank you for allowing us to come together and pray in this way

thank you for providing us a place that we can come together

we would like to thank you god for those beautiful twelve steps

and thank you for allowing each and everyone of us for being sober during this day

we humbly ask for your guidance care wisdom direction love as we walk through the steps today and god please set aside everything that we think we know about ourselves the book sobriety the steps in you guys thank god please help each and every one of us to have an open mind today so that we may have a new experience

discover the truth

god

transmitters today to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and with enough difference and I'm Paul Fisher and alcoholic

and I'd like to welcome everyone to the fourth session of the big book workshop

where we are taking the twelve steps as outlined in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous so that we may experience freedom from our alcoholism

today we're going to be covering steps ten eleven and twelve

let's turn to page fifty nine

step ten continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

okay let's move to a page eighty four where step ten begins we're gonna go to page eighty four paragraph two

this page eighty four paragraph two

where the authors say this thought brings us a step can

which suggests we continued to take personal inventory and continue

the set right any new mistakes as we go along

we vigorously commences way living as we cleaned up the past we have entered the world of the spirit

so if I'm actively making my men's this is what I will experience I will

have entered the world of the spirit

our next function is a growing understanding and effectiveness this is not an overnight matter it should continue for our lifetime continue to watch for selfishness dishonesty resentment and fear we need to crop up we ask god that wants to remove them we discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help Levin tolerance of others are called

what I find beautiful about about this paragraph is that the authors give me specific instructions on how to do a daily tends to

if you look back at the beginning of this paragraph it says we continue take persons or inventory and continued to sit right in the new mistakes as we go along no mention of

at the end of the day when I retire but as I go along in other words

a tense at the something I'm going to practice during the day

can the authors give us specific instructions here

they show us how to how to carry out for spiritual practices

the first one

his watch

if you go down to

good on eight lines in that paragraph it says continue to watch for selfishness dishonesty resentment and fear

here we've been to the mall and people watch go to the parking you people watch you don't interact with those people you simply observe that's what watching means

if you want to have a new experience try practicing watching for a mere thirty days

simply watch you that doesn't mean I analyze what I do I'm just simply observing so I'm watching for for things and then the authors instruct me what to do when this occurs is when these crop up

we ask that's a prayer we ask god it wants to remove them so if they crop up at once I'm going to ask god to remove them

immediately following this as we discuss them with someone immediately make amends weekly view if we have harmed anyone that means only discuss it with somebody that day before I go to bed

it also says and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone

so you see I have a spot check that image or I can do during the day where I can make amends immediately

then goes on to say then we resolutely turned our thoughts to someone we can help so is not beautiful we have four we have four spiritual practices we can do during the day

watch ask discuss intern

now what we have in the next paragraph or call the tents that promises

now this is providing that I've done everything up to this point

meeting I've had a first step experience

I found a power greater than me I made a decision to give my life to that god I didn't inventory shared with another person took the exact nature of my wrongs to god in six and seven compiled my harmless from my inventory began making maintenance and begin practicing the tense up during the day check out the magnitude of these guarantees as we read on

and we have ceased fighting anything or anyone even alcohol while

would you like to be able to stop fighting anything or anyone is that sound cool or what

four by this time sandy will have returned I am guaranteed to experience what the author's experience that has been my personal experience I've also had the experience of not experiencing these promises when I don't do the work we will seldom be interested liquor if tempted we recoil from it as from high flying we react saline normally wow

reacts mainly normally there so foreign to me

and when we will find that this is happened check this out and we will find it doesn't happen automatically

it doesn't say that I'm making it happen we will see that are new attitude

there's that word again new

new added not attitude but new attitude that means different than it was before

where liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part in other words I'm not making it happen on simply doing is I'm just simply doing the footwork

it just comes that is the miracle of it we're not fighting it neither are we avoiding temptation we feel as though we have been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected

am I in a position of neutrality do I feel safe and protected

we have not even sworn off instead the problem has been removed it does not exist for us

where neither cocky nor are we afraid that as our experience

then they going to tell us that is how we react so long as we keep that spiritual condition

they're giving us a little checklist it has been my experience personally as well as observing people I've worked with through the years in these rooms that there's fundamentally only one reason why I will drink again

that's because I'm not a fits virtual condition if I am in this spiritual condition it is impossible for me to drink my god will not let it happen ask yourself how my gonna love this virtual condition they just got through telling us this is how we react so I have a little checklist let's see if I'm if this proves a condition I go back and start reading the beginning the paragraph have I see finding anything or anyone my get in arguments with people all the time get into debates getting on a crusade gotta convince you this is the way you got to do the program

this is for this time sandy will leverage has any return

are you still interested in liquor in attempted have you been able to recall from is from hot flame are you reacting saying they normally

this is we're not fighting it we feel as though their place and position

of neutrality saving protected now if I am truly spiritually fit and if I am truly in a position of neutrality safe and protected you know what that means

it means you cannot harm me

if I'm in a position to draw he said how are you going to hurt me what you gonna do steal my truck go ahead take it god is good and give me another one

you want my money follow me follow me outside of the meeting you know where it's starting to go out to my truck and pulled out a knife or a gun and see how much your money that's okay here thank you

what is unsafe rejected god's gonna give me more

I can go anywhere I've been to places of people told me not to go

let's take it to the extreme let's say you get really reserve let mean you decide you want to kill me

bring it on

I'm just going to a better place

that's what being said rejected means it means a longer living in fear

that doesn't mean I don't experience fear I'm not driven by fear anymore because I I've become clear as a result of following the recipe in this book that I'm a spiritual being with a human condition

which means I'm going to have human reactions I'm going to experience sadness grief anger disappointment

so on so forth but that's that's that's natural normal for me

next paragraph it's easy lit up on the spiritual program of action rest on our laurels here the authors are emphasizing that this is about action we're headed for trouble if we do for alcohol so awful we're not cured of alcoholism what we really have is a daily reprieve contention on the maintenance of our spiritual condition every day is a day when we must carry the vision of god's will and to all of our activities how can I best serve the I will not mind be done these are thoughts which must go with this constantly we can exercise our will power along this line all we wish it is a proper use the wheel here the authors are are are clearly explaining to me to conform I will with god's is the proper use of the will

check it out we can exercise our will power

along this line all we wish

what line

I will be done online so to conform my will with his it says it is the proper use the will I'm supposed to use my will

provided I am spiritually fit provided that I'm having a spiritual experience provided that I've done the the previous ten steps so I'm supposed to use my will we're not a bunch of common times

we're supposed to use my brain god gave me brains for a reason

okay I stepped him back there on page eighty four in the second paragraph forces that we suggested we continue take personal internet continue to sit writing any new mistakes as we go along

those of you that are willing to practice a daily tensed up

why don't you go ahead and recite that out loud with me

starting with the second line in the second paragraph on page eighty four so paragraph to second line

page eighty four

read

we we continue to take personal inventory and continued to set right any new mistakes as we go along graduations

all right with completed step can

so let's flip back to page fifty nine so we we can read

step eleven

sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with god as we understood him praying only for knowledge of his will for us the power to carry that out okay backyard PGT five paragraph two page eighty five

paragraph two so as much as already been said about receiving strength inspiration and direction from him who has all knowledge of power notice the other does say that he has a lot of knowledge and power it

is this we have all knowledge of power now

if I have a resource available to me that has all knowledge and power what would be the best place to go for directions

that source exactly you know I find really ironic in these rooms and I have had this experience so many times the very thing that has caused me more difficulty in pain and suffering it's been my own head you know what's really interesting about that I get a problem you know the first I go place I go for a solution is my head

now is is that insane or what

the thing that causing more suffering in pain humiliation when I came into these rooms the old ideas beliefs and attitudes and perceptions that simply did not work that is the first place I go for a solution when I have a problem

so if I'm truly self delusional

we read that didn't we

back in the second the third step that we are driven by a hundred forms if you're self delusion self pity self seeking correct so if I'm truly driven by self delusion how my gonna know if I'm self deluded I'm not gonna know

it's like going to a physician asking it what is water

officials say well you know it's it's everywhere

think of all the way to that statement if I'm self delusion how my gonna no one's self deluded I'm not going to know

that's why it's absolutely essential this alcoholic maintains strict disciplines of ten eleven twelve can I rely on my interpretation my perception of my own experience maybe I need other people maybe I need access to a god of my understanding so that I can seek this knowledge and power

okay then the other is going to say if we have it whoa there's that word again if we have carefully doesn't safely follow directions if we have carefully

follow directions

we have begun to since the flow of his spirit into us

what a promise to some extent we have become god conscious we have begun to develop this vital sixth sense but we must go further and that means more action now how many of you have gone to meetings and you hurt somebody speaking they pick the topic I'd like to hear your experience with your sixth sense

it's right there in the book I mean the others are telling us we have begun to develop this vital you know what vital means

east central for a life

so am I going to be able to live answer I'm not talking about not drinking I'm going about living here I'm talking about being free

being free from my own mind my own fears inadequacy self doubt cetera etcetera etcetera

this vital six cents so this expense is absolutely essential for my wife and sobriety

I'm encouraging all of you that are experiencing as well success if you take that back to your meetings and start talking about it start sharing with people your own experience

with your vital six cents

but we must go further and that means more action

my twenty years of sobriety is not going to keep me spiritually fit

now the truth is

I don't want to do these disciplines

I would love to be able to stay at home with my twenty years of sobriety in fluvial what's McAuliffe from channel to channel and drink my sprite in the spiritually yeah I would love to be able to do that but that's not what my experience shows me

am I willing to do the disciplines yes

why do I do them a couple of reasons not because I'm a truth seeker

no truth seekers an Alcoholics Anonymous

where comfort seekers that's why I maintain the disciplines because I enjoy the comfort and peace of mind the serenity

the freedom to reprieve from alcohol

being in a position of neutrality safe and protected that's why do the disciplines on a regular basis not because I want to do them it's because I enjoy feeling comfort and that's what these disciplines do for me let's read on

several levels suggest premeditation we shouldn't be shy on this matter prayer better men than we are using it constantly it works if we have the proper attitude and work at it

that is what is most important about premeditation is I have the proper attitude and I'm willing to work at it it would be easy to be vague about this matter yet we believe we can make some definitely valuable suggestions here is where the author is very clearly describe the evening review and they give us a hand

now remember we are it's the political act

in the book right and this is the very next paragraph when we retire at night

that's a close

yeah

so if I'm going to retire at night

and these are the questions I would ask myself in my evening review

when asking for questions that I ask myself as I go through the day as I go along and step ten we're we resentful selfish dishonest or freight there's a question mark that means it's a stop sign in the stop and answer those questions

do we owe an apology there's another question mark

have we get something to ourselves which should be discussed with another personal lines another question mark

where we kind and loving toward all another question mark

what could we have done better another question mark

were we thinking ourselves most of the time or were we thinking of what we could do for others what we could pack into the stream of life that does not mean do as much as you possibly can and complete as many tasks as possible that has not been my understanding of pack as much as I can as a stream of life what I'm hearing from that is where was a helpful

who did I help

but we must be careful not to drift into worry remorse or morbid reflection here's the warning you know we're not there to beat ourselves up simply do

a constructor review of my day

for that would diminish our usefulness to others so easy I'm not use with other people and you simply sit there beat myself up I'm simply reviewing my day for these questions

okay here the instructions

after I do my review the authors are asking me to do two things in the next sentence after making a review we ask that sounds like a prayer doesn't

we ask god's forgiveness

in other words you know

yeah I was thinking mostly myself today got please forgive me for doing so

no was a kind and loving towards all please forgive me

and then and then there's that word and and which means in addition to that means only do something in addition to prayer

inquire

what corrective measures should be taken

so far medical inquire what corrective measures should be taken that implies I'm going to listen

in other words after I do my evening review I'm going to pray and meditate

we talked about that last week how sensual it is for me to meditate in addition to pray you see if all I'm doing is praying I'm not completing step eleven in its entirety

notice the wording is that the level

sought through dozens they sought through prayer to prove my conscious contact so see if all I'm doing is bringing in meditating am I going to improve my relationship with god

am I going to receive the knowledge of his will the power to carry it out

my experience has been no

if my friends got here calls me up and invites me to his house for a party and I hang up the phone before I receive directions I'm not gonna know which way to go to get there

that's what prayer without meditation is light

I've created a lot of on manageability in my life and sobriety result if not meditating or something but rather prank

I had made decisions based on self which later placed me in a position to be hurt that's how essential it is for me to practice daily meditation so is this beautiful they're giving us a specific outline of how to do evening review and they're giving instructions to pray and meditate when I finish my evening review

next paragraph

they show us how to do morning meditation

they give us a clue when to do it the first two words on awakening

on awakening let us think about the twenty four hours ahead we consider our plans for the day before we begin we say prayers as we ask there's a prayer we ask god to direct our thinking is specially asking that it be divorced from self pity dishonest or self seeking motives under these conditions we can't employ our mental faculties here the authors are implying we are supposed to use our brains

the employer mental faculties with assurance for after Aug god gave us brains to use

our thought life will be placed in a much higher plane when our thinking is clear to run lotus

after step nine you may notice that the authors have made a shift

four thirty nine is about conduct it's about where I was wrong war of because hardware I've been selfish where I've been self seeking where I've been dishonest it's better it's better now the authors have moved into the fox life

after all the sale page twenty three that the main problem the alcoholic centers in his mind rather than his body is that correct

so what what what what needs more attention my mind

is the main problem so here the authors in mischief now they're shifting into let's concentrate on our thought life

our thought life would be placing a much higher plane women are thinking is cleared of wrong modus this helps me to address the self delusion

in thinking about our date we may face indecision we may not be able to determine which course to take here we asked there's another prayer god for inspiration and intuitive fought reposition we relax and take it easy we don't struggle we're often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while notice that the authors are not instructed me to ask god to keep me sober

if I truly believe if I truly conceded to minor myself that I have no power over alcohol

and there's absolutely nothing I can do to keep me sober and I'm sober

and I've come to believe in the power grid myself and they decision to give my life to that what's keeping me sober

is it me

is it that relationship

is it work maybe it's your income

that has not been my experience so if I've applied those principles if I follow that recipe in this book up to this point

and god is keeping me sober why do I need to go to him asking to keep me sober

consider this one moment my wife is in the kitchen and she's washing dishes and I go and I say Jan would you wash the dishes please

she's likely to frown on me I'm certain she will frown

the

she's gonna give me the look like I'm already doing it why are you asking me to do something I'm already doing

you see I became I fell victim to that for a long time and the time is now in all these rooms yes I ask god keep me sober every day to my knowledge this book doesn't say anything about not drinking one day at a time to say that I am not going to drink one day at a time implies that I still had some reservations that has been my experience with real I I hear that from relapses a lot yeah I'm asking god gives over data time every morning asking give me so

what is are you doing they're instructing me to follow directions a plan of action to direct my thinking

let's go ahead and check that out let's see what the books have say about it

okay

go turn to page thirty three

page thirty three paragraph online nine

H. thirty three paragraph one line nine

if we are planning to stop drinking there must be no reservation of any kind nor any lurking notion that some day we will be immune to alcohol

no reservation

how much of a head here just to illustrate a point

here we go page nine

graph three

age nine eight paragraph three

line six that's line six then let his family or friend ask him if he wants to quit for good

and if he would go to any extreme to Giselle you see what happened to me in that period of time that I was bouncing in and out of these rooms it couldn't stay sober was that I was not willing

to quit for good

I was not willing to go to god and ask him to remove it for good

now to say that I'm willing to give it up for good does not imply that I have power to keep me sober what that does imply is I'm willing to go to any length

distaste over that means I'm going to resort to any spiritual principle I possibly can in order to not drink

because I don't have the power to get me sober

so that means I need to call on the power from the god of my understanding

if you're having resistance to this I simply ask you to consider if you have had that experience

without exception every time I go to a meeting go to around the convention and I hear speak or say something that I have resistance to most of the time it is because I have not experienced it

when I heard people say things like they felt safe and protected

they were position of neutrality did they stop fighting everybody and everything I had resistance to that you know why because I never had the experience

how many people you can tell me about bungee jumping

I have experience with bungee jumping

so what can you tell me about the bungee jumping

nothing

you have nothing to offer me the virgin because you have no experience with it you can share a lot of opinions a lot of ideas a lot of perceptions but do you have any experience with it

I have some personal experience with that I know what it's like

I wouldn't do it again

one that was enough for me but it was a pleasant experience I'm not gonna go into that right now but the point I'm trying to make

you know in early sobriety I felt it necessary to ask god to help me stay sober because I had not had a spiritual awakening yet

I had not dialed into god's power see that's why steps the social that we be taken through the steps as quickly as possible see I am the real are hard to talk about page twenty one given sufficient reason isn't going to keep me sober

I need to get to the power and I need to get to it now

now

it has been my experience you cannot take anybody through the steps to move quickly however you can't take them through to slowly maybe that has something to do with the decreased success rate within the rooms of our meetings

my god how did these guys have a seventy five to ninety three percent success rate most of the Cleveland Akron area what were they doing that we're not doing

give this some serious thought for a moment

medicine has made major advancements since nineteen thirty nine nineteen forty four

there are treatment centers they didn't have treatment centers and they have drying out hospitals with a detox people

psychology has made a lot of advancement since then and yet the success rate is lower today than it was then and they have fewer resources but the resources that were available to the alcoholics in nineteen forty four are the same resources that are available to us today

and it's called the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous

it's called the spiritual principles that are contained within the first Hundred three pages giving me instructions on how to do that the twelve steps

before we get into a

the promises

which is at the top of page eighty seven the promises of up

premeditation

I'll share with you what what I personally do

I don't ask god to keep me sober he's already doing it

keep in mind I have to keep I have to do my part

so basically what I do is this I follow the instructions on this page

the first thing to do is I ask god to direct my thinking especially the the divorce and self pity dishonest or selfie king motors

the S. and other per

ask for inspiration to the thought or decision today

to ask god to help me relax take it easy and not struggle

and that's when I moved into my meditation for listening

and that's when I asked what would you have me be today

today then that the guidance I receive is rather simple I typically receive guidance like enjoy yourself today

be kind and patient with other people

listen

if you will practice this prayer and meditation I can guarantee you your life will change in a relatively short period of time

try not to misunderstand me I'm not saying that sobriety is solely contingent on prayer and meditation I need to practice all the principles not just those but those have been very instrumental in my life

and as I stated last week there's no right way to meditate there's no wrong way what you need to do is find a way that works for you

let's look at the promises this is what used to be the hunter the occasional inspiration

here they are instructing us to be patient gradually

becomes a working part of the mind once again notice the authors are putting emphasis on the fault lies

being still in experience and having just make conscious contact with god it is not possible that we are going to be inspired all times so I'm not as worried all times I tell myself I was not working

remember what we read at the beginning of this it works if we have the proper attitude and work at it

we might pay for this resumption all sorts of absurd actions and ideas nevertheless

here's the thought life again we find that our thinking will as time passes the more and more on the plain of inspiration we come to rely upon it

isn't that beautiful my thinking is going to change they're telling me be patient

I'm not going to be inspired all times

now I'm gonna finish premeditation then we're going to take more action

in the next paragraph

we usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer so I'm gonna pray meditate pray in the morning

that will be shown all through the day what our next step is to be that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems we ask here's a prayer we ask is specially for freedom from self will and we're careful to make no request for cells only

we may ask ourselves however if others will be helped

we are careful never to pray if for our own selfish ends many of us have wasted a lot of time doing that and it doesn't work you can easily see why

that's one of things all of us that still up ten eleven they guarantee that I'm going to make mistakes

that's why I need those bookends is not beautiful I got to be too beautiful bookends I have a book in in the morning when we do prayer meditation prayer only do a daily can step through the day as I go along and then not only do evening revealing overdue premeditation of when I finish

this is been my experience I will only experience one of two things within the rooms of a

I'm either getting better or getting worse there is no in between

No one to my knowledge has ever coasted up hill

it's real easy to spot people who are doing these disciplines

they don't take themselves so seriously they seem to enjoy life much more fully they laugh more they make fun of themselves

you know why it's important for us to and to not take ourselves seriously

because we are the joke

we are is we are the joke that's why I can't take myself seriously

another reason is you're not going to

it

during the week I asked you to consider doing the written meditation exercise where you write down the guidance that you receive during meditation and then test it against the four absolutes

I'm asking for any volunteers anybody who would be willing to share the guidance that they received this week I understand that this is a personal matter in two way communication with the god of your understanding I'm hoping those of you that did do it would be willing to come forward and share with us the guidance you receive from god in order to show yourself and other people that guidance does come during medication

do you have any volunteers come on up

my name is Joseph nama alcohol Connecticut

very grateful to be alive today and the most major

and profound contact my higher power this past week I've been a sober member of a a for a little over seven months now my father's coming out to visit may from New York and I am in his mother him and his wife asked me to go up to Las Vegas for the weekend with a bunch of my uncles and so forth and I

well in this meditation this morning it just came to me out of nowhere

that I wasn't ready to go to Arizona I mean I go to Las Vegas and I

so I went right to the for the absolutes then I had to think about my son who has been asking me you know twice a week one of my coming home to see him so I had to say to myself you know if I go to Las Vegas I love to gamble and I love women and I want to spend a lot of money that I don't really have and I'd really like to go see my son so I was my own selfish thing from god and I had to be honest with my father and his girlfriend also that you know maybe it wasn't the right time for me to go there well this choice bring me happiness or will bring others around me happiness and I said yes this is going to bring me happiness and it's going to bring others around me happiness by me not going there and I got a lot of comfort out of this decision and that's the most important thing I think because you know I've I was delusional very those off realize and I'm just really grateful to be here and thank you for listening

that's wonderful anyone else

one of the client doesn't make my name's Monika I'm an alcoholic

but I mean not an investment manager for twenty years managing money that I define myself as a portfolio manager

a good wife

a good mother and an athlete and right now I'm none of those some lost

so when I meditate I I started

swirling around in thinking negative that what happened to me you know what what where am I

I took me a long time I mean it it took the

you know about the fifth or sixth day nine I decided to do a little bit each day

two or three times a day rather than try to meditate you know for thirty minutes because that is consistent with a long time

meditating it finally came to me that maybe

maybe after twenty years of doing what I'm doing

maybe I'm not supposed to do that anymore

maybe there's something more important for me to do

and

and I think it's step twelve I mean I I really I really think it is

now just just searching but I know that I actually look forward to

the two or three times during the day this is a quiet quiet my mind and I really look forward to it and try to get a cranky if I

you know can't

because it's the only time I allow myself to lay down on the bed and don't worry about anything you know don't worry about my daughter don't worry about the money this is another issue

on my I have I mean you have to file bankruptcy the bills I can't seem to sit and do my own bills I mean you know I'm a financial manager twenty years and I'm I'm a financial rep

and then there's the the the meditation helps you listen and an interesting thing because I'm so numbers oriented an interesting thing came to me in one of those times you called

in between the racing times I can't remember what you call it that

an image of a very creative bracelet

that I will

make

for my daughter

and her name is Morgan

and so since we're both Ms the animals are going to be you know connected and you know I've never been crayons I'm not I have a creative bone really my body art I can't do but this will create a sign came to me and I I thought that was interesting because I saw something in me that I

in the last twenty years I didn't think existed actions I'm learning and I'm trying my best to work the steps

so thanks

I like to think those of you willing to share with us the guidance that you receive from god

step twelve

having had a spiritual awakening is also the steps we tried to carry this messes alcoholics and practice these principles and all our fears the first part implies having had a spiritual awakening as the result doesn't say a result this is V. result of these steps

the second part is we try to hear this message to alcoholics

the third part is to practice these principles in all our affairs you see what I've discovered is that the real work is step twelve

you see what it says do as they prepare me to do the real work and that's what we're gonna talk about today there's an end there's a chapter

chapter seven beginning on page eighty nine which is entirely devoted to working with others

numerous times through the years I've heard people say

you know I really wish we had some literature and sponsorship we have a whole chapter on sponsorship it's called working with others what I love about this chapter is that the authors give me specific