2003 Area 41 Reunion in North Platte, NE

2003 Area 41 Reunion in North Platte, NE

▶️ Play 🗣️ Bo T. ⏱️ 1h 16m 📅 14 Jun 2003
hi I'm Alan I'm from Alabama my name's bill temple and
are you all I'm glad to be here
let me let me get a couple of things out of the way your rock we've got now was attacked by a serious case of allergies
but the middle of the week and and I've got it down to a runny nose yeah we have a problem with allergies you know what I'm talking about
and I have been able to get his nose stopped yet I've been chasing it all the way from from west blocked Alabama north Platte and
but I got me some I got hearing and racked up with to my favorite store down the road Walmart
and got me some stuff and I'm taking this stuff and it's it's working it's working pretty good but if I have to stop every now and then and just home Kerr blow would just hang with me I'll be right back
the other thing is and I don't know why this is going on or so I don't know if all this is connected or not but yeah go I had some pretty major surgery on my back
and as a result of that I came out of surgery with a Noam left foot
and
so it's B. as been it's been bother me a little bit last week or two and and I've been dragging its and so if you see me leaning over at a crazy angle or something like that you just know that folks tangling or something like at a I was I got a problem in their portal and I've taken some registered case that was in line from and I don't even know what is doing is they come before it was no
well she told read dames would you please not really my luggage
so
so we are just so you know where I am and where I'm coming from I want to thank the people that are responsible for me being here this weekend yeah
I heard this described earlier today as a celebration
and that's what it is in your
this is a party
and if you're new to this thing and and and just being exposed to it I hope that before you leave here you come to realize that you have been at the party
and at the celebration my wife and I we love the celebration because that's why we rented used this way a lot
they September fourth nineteen eighty two is my first Alan on meeting it was held there was no
your name is campus of the university of Alabama there it was Tuscaloosa Alabama as I. N. Allen on anniversary
and my wife was they let her out of treatment on Saturday of Labor Day weekend nineteen eighty two and we picked her up at twelve noon we went straight to Tuscaloosa and I'll tell you a little bit more about that in my story but
report they as we walked into a room and it was five hundred of your
and you were cleaned up and you were dressed up yellow for food use and use running around in there hugging each other and life and and and and and we fell in love with you
we didn't know what you hate
but we knew that whatever it was it was definitely better than what we brought to the table we knew there was not enough with that very night is this thing called a traction runs a promotion set in and you begin to to attract us into this way of life so I believe in the parties and I go to all the parties and I can go to bring is greetings allow for my wife she's surely she's twenty and a half years sober I bring you greetings from my daughter who is twenty and a half years analogy then Alan on they're both up in Virginia I don't know I don't know convention this weekend sure in their experience strength and hope up there we left so no Bob at home
he's ten years in the program ten years sober and we left him after years in west blocked in Alabama serenity he'll he and two bagels that we got that we're trying to find an elephant group for
they're taking care of a hero and waiting on us to get home tomorrow afternoon so
so thank you for having me out here when I introduce myself to you introduce myself as an Alan or
because I like to talk about that for just a moment
because because like I've already said I want you to know exactly where I come from in the same
when I got here Labor Day weekend nineteen eighty two I've got to be America surely be merry to an alcoholic who made me an hour
and what I found out over the past twenty years is it be Merritt her qualifies me for I don't know
but it doesn't make me an element and there's several things that I do in my life today a real regular basis in order to stand up here and tell you that I'm a member of Elena and I want to Cher to through the two or three of those things with you right quick
the first thing I do have J. allies I suit up show up in occupy that year in an al anon meeting on a real regular basis no I know that this is a program of action I know that you can't get it by osmosis because I try
the first seven months that I was here I tried to sit in that chair rub up against you and get your recovery to rub off on me
and and of course it doesn't happen that way but I I also know that again for certain showing up in occupying it Cher let me explain it to you another way
yeah I could take that chair not to take it out to the back of the lot and I could put it in the middle of checking group and I can occupy that chair in the middle of a chicken coop everyday for twenty years and guess what
yeah I still wouldn't be a check that's right
but let me suggest this to you if I did that every day for twenty years at the end of that time I would know a whole lot about chickens
and I would know a whole lot about how the successful chickens get it done
where you hear what I'm saying yes yes Sir nothing showing up in occupied the chair that I'm and I'm meeting with those winters that were there for me and watching them and seeing what they do
is there that I began to get an idea of the changes that I will have to make if I'm going to be like you when I grow
now the next thing I tell you this afternoon on that day and I don't know
and and remember this is this is just what works for me
is I have to have a home group
no my whole group is a Wednesday night discussion meeting invest Robert
when I got here at like today we can I just do I don't need a whole group
when I got here I did need Alamo
because you see there was nothing wrong with me
I got here while
and it took me several months of sitting in your meetings to learn just how sick I was in just how much help I need
but you see that pretty much little bit my wife went to they had some upper call family week
no I called it hell week because that's what I want
but million two teenage kids went up and moved in and stayed up here from Monday to Friday
and I don't have I learned some stuff up and one of the things I heard if there was
they said the people that get out of here to stay sober or the one to go to high
and my job changed and in the snap of a finger
because you see
he shouldn't drink anymore we're going to be okay
and I told you that with all the sincerity in my heart
and so she went Hey she won a very few more and she did great with me all right to my job now let's take
well then the other thing I heard up there that that was important once they said it's a good idea to go to ninety meetings in ninety days
so we did
yeah if you don't know and you understand that
but I want lower it for me
you see I was going to make sure that she was very
and we're sitting right down there on the front row when I speaker got offered said something pulled up popular with other
because I was listening real close
James I'm usually I mean if you're still a little bit of a fog and she's going to have some questions when we got home
and I will have to be able to answer
and then I began to learn something as we went to these ninety meetings in ninety days learn something important back to Hey Hey
here's what I learned
I learned the job got real television
by several things in your program
one of the things that you've got television about in your program is something called close meetings
got real science K. series case
because of that I came and we showed up for a bathroom we won't be in
yeah Hey is met me at the door
I'm sorry bro
you can come in here for you don't understand
hi my Jones well you know
and they said no though it's time to to turn her over to us
it's time that you put her in our or
and there's a meeting on the rumor was that you've been needing to go to any
and you're not so gently shove me toward the Alan on
well if you ever come to best for taking my home group you'll see that the door to the Allen room is at the back of the room and it's a long narrow room when you walk in the podiums wait out the other end of the room well I'll go over there and I hadn't got a I'm not into sponsorship and I'm not into work and stay up to already told is nothing wrong with me I'm just driving her and so I was still in Elizabeth this disease and it isn't for me mais our sponsor must
near the first seven months zero sponsored myself and I had a food for his phone
so
I've got only time sponsors name
and I'm not sure which and we go along to that several different ways that you can identify overtime sponsorship at a price for you that you have old time sponsorship one of the greatest gift of god given me in this way of law does have sponsorship but when I I'm times better stormy I have to be at every meeting at least thirty minutes Sir
and I have to be prepared to stay till it's over
must purchase of taught me that I'm a lot of meetings last an hour
but some go longer than that
and so I'm supposed to be here thirty minutes before prepared to stay to work till it's over to the work is done
well I went into that yet so I went over and went down and it was three minutes to eight
and I stopped I took a look inside that room
there was twenty three when
one other guy
sit right down from
R. M. man and I got a seat by here
we have the meeting and the meeting was over we said the lord's prayer and he turned round interviews just have too many awesome man Carmen I'm glad there's at least one other guy here and he started laughing the softball I'm moving to Florida in the morning
it is about nine years I'm glad to meet you for retail
but you know what I've learned over the last twenty years is that was god taken here both right in and out to god wouldn't do nothing for me right D. was regard was getting totally out of time
because I have such a sick puppy is taking all twenty three and I was jailed for me
and it's already been that had a problem I just don't know what we did
so god just cleared it out for me
and
so the meeting is over and and and please tell him to come up with me to me with smiles on their faces and their thanking me for being there and hold on a minute well ladies I let's don't let this thing get too far out of high
I'm I'm not in here
because of violent
no I don't I know it's a good program
and I know that is really help some you know
but there's nothing wrong with me
and I don't need this and the only reason I'm in here is because they told me I couldn't stay out there
say I'm just here I just drove make sure she's at her mate
you're welcome
I just throw dogs around me and hugged me
and they begin to read gently pull me into this thing and they use hooks that I didn't even know they were used
and they didn't tell me
you know
well the first name again to use with me was something called left
I'm talking bout the hooks to get kept me coming back to my miracle could happen
remember the laughter when you first got here was it is important to you as it was to me as it still is today
as you see I think laughter is a form of healing in our focus you
and I remember that last problem remember that first meeting we had that night it was a speaker meeting and we have one of our loan terms they won't let me Carlos
that's all alone
one of a long time Sherrin story that mac and so they got to make open she won't bands podium and she says hi my name is Doris it's just been fourteen years since I had to play on a murder
did you know I just like everybody except me
new so I would assume that
no no no
because I just like to put you out of any of those you can you hear
I've been playing it murder to go killer deal god she's done
but but the strongest form if you were full of laughter and and all and I realized before the meeting was over it nobody was life and a half dollars
they were laughing with her and she was laughing as hard as anybody in that laughter became very very important to me let me tell you another hook they begin to use only that very first nine
and and that's something called hoax
we're housing group down my way
we heard you when you get there and we heard you when you leave
and in the middle of a meeting if you suck man you're a pain in your heart and you need a hug somebody just laughing get up walk across the room and give you we believe in the healing power of hoax yeah but I don't I don't know who
help when I got there
and I already told you what I told him that that that I didn't have
I didn't have any business being there now this is true
this is what they did for me that's a loner when they took it should put it all the way to back not back here by the door
most
and that's about all we know that you don't want to be in here so the nice if you're here this is far in this room is you have to
and and a nice feature here won't allow anybody else to sit in that chair that's your chair
ma'am they assigned a woman to me I still won't admit this today
and they change that Roman on a monthly basis because we believe in rotation
and here was her job
the way we told our meetings at my home group is that we standard we hold hands and we close with the lower price
not being sponsored by old timers
I've been told that the lord's prayer ends with the word Amy
because my home group we don't say anything or do anything after the word Hey me
so we would stand to close the meeting and we would hold hands while everybody had their eyes closed ever who was assigned to ME would slip all the service
Becker but we'll do
and her job was to get between me and the door
so she reset IT me it all started for the door
Hey should
and she gave me that going ho ho
and of course when she gave me that going home she's whisper those words in my
are you keep coming back
cause we need you
you needed me
I was going to be bringing her to that other meeting in here
because what I didn't tell you was that I've been reading some of your literature
and the lifeboat was beginning to go well here is the the talk about the kind of things that they kept doing to me it can't be coming back
maybe two but the last thing was that they used to pull me into this and I still use only today
and that's something that I've already heard mentioned here this weekend and I'm glad they did something called unconditional love
hello Gail started pouring out unconditional love to me the very first night and they still just cover me up with unconditional love to die
Hey in the beginning I had no concept of what that will and they didn't put a name on it at that time they just did
yeah but as time went on I began to hear about this thing called on conditional love and I begin to realize that that's what those girls was well for only and that there was not I can't wait knowing the time that they said now here's the pay back here and I begin to realize I'm conditional Lowe has no type
and so I've got
several years ago I got a little bit concerned about this
I got concerned because I realize that I have to Coleman absolute pro
at receiving unconditional
I'm date is eight many better than me
it's soaking up that unconditional love
when I got concerned about and I'm serious about this was was out doing the job that I was supposed to in returning
that unconditional
was not as proficient as I should be in giving back
though and could you still love it's been so freely given to me well I did do a thing well I did it like always doing things off to get the books
I read about unconditional
I begin to to rub up against these long timers when I went to purchase lucky and and I used to hate C. maker because I knew I had something my mother and I will but I want to know so tell me what you think about the tech give me your opinion of unconditional love you
and I got more and more confused
and then about five years ago I was sitting in San Diego California one of these things in front and there was a upper and he was given is tell and he set me free he gave me my answer about unconditional love
because from the podium that night that may I begin to talk to me about the relationship he had with the god of his understanding
and let me tell you it was powerful powerful relationship that man was in tune with god it's too early as today
they begin to talk about that from the podium and he said you know he said I've come to the conclusion that mopping his job today is to stay in good standing with the god of my understanding
and they said well I'm okay this was withdrawn tomorrow understanding is they've got to come through me and use me as an estimate of his love and he can love use roommate
he said that your job is to work on your relationship with god
and when you get everything okay this way will drop would use you as an instrument of his and he'll Love Me through you
I broke one of
dial me
you did it all over again
you've been running around out there trying to follow up on that how to be perfect it unconditional long when there's only one
who's perfect condition
so since that time I've quit working on how trying to perfect unconditional love and I'm up in my relationship with your
so that when I'm into with god god would use me as an instrument of his love and love you
through me
and I invite you to start doing that in your or so so that god can Love Me three years
and this is the kind of things that those gals there under my home group
started using may early hold
old timers god gave him to me just pulled a memo laugh when a guy he knew just how sick I wasn't just time attorney
yes because that was to become a hold for the next day do an auditorium and Avalon is because I have spoke to
and now I've just had to change sponsors not just just just completed that process and it hadn't been a whole lot of full
because I've had the same sponsors for twenty years since I've been here
engine for and god love him they're just got totaled
and we don't live as close together we used to live about two miles a partner it's about four fifty or sixty miles apart and they don't get out and travel we can't have the relationship that but let me tell you they brought me and raised me in this way of life good old time sponsorship
I've drive address in years seven months and got a sick because I had to get there weren't any other male Elena and for me that has to be a sponsor so I asked this lady named friend to be my last box let me tell you about freight friends old enough to be my mom
Fran came and L. nine and nineteen sixty ward
and she believes in service and she's raised me and service and she's a pass delegate
and she's taught me the importance of service in this way of life
is your greatest possibly that night with one condition
that's a what's the condition she said I'll sponsor you the only way I know to sponsor
all sports do you like I've been structured in steps
if you're one of the night to make a conscious commitment to me to take these twelve spiritual principles and then the minimum in your life on a daily basis and I'm ready to take you by the hand and walk with you
but that's what she's done for the past twenty years about ninety days into this relationship we knew that I needed to talk to a man so she sent me out there any I I. room said you pick you a man that's working as a twelve step program and I happened to pick the one that she'd been merit to over forty years that
engine for a
have been my guards my mentors all this up until just recently
but let me tell you one more thing what they do you
when when I went back to her and I said well I've asked Jim to be a part of this relationship
and Jim said to me and you and him had to sit down and talk
and
she said yep the three of us they'd sit down talk to we I went and got him and we said it I had to give each one of them permission to talk about me with each other
and I had to give them that information
so they would have never done that without me giving him that permission that's that's how much they love in honor of this way of life
but it took away from me you see
the deal I have walk around you and you and you and you and I and they took away from me the possibility that I might you know you get them against each other
and they did that because I Love Me because they knew me and and and and you just have just over time sponsorship old sponsorship
not only do I do I have sponsors today I support your folks
and when somebody comes to bases but would you be most parts are you know what to tell
so well be glad to but there's a condition
and if you're ready to take a walk through the steps and implement these twelve spiritual principles in your life and learn how to develop a relationship with go and learn how to live a life based on spiritual principles
I'm ready to walk with you that's not what you're here for I just don't know a whole lot else I've got to call for
and I guess some takers
and I guess some folks or so well I so sure that's what I'm here for
but you know put it after in the front in the beginning
we don't waste a whole lot of time
we know what we're gonna do watch full movie star
the last thing I do in order to tell you I'm a member valentines I take those twelve simple steps that they read up here
well simple step for very complicated person
and the very best of my ability I implemented in my life on a daily basis get up each morning having to talk with your
I'm not much on our own or special sure and special
meditation terminal and that's okay for those that are I'm just not one of those my my account regard usually begins in the shop
because that's that's where My Baby here
and and and we have a token I invite guardian and I asked him to take charge of my life to die than to direct my life today
and to help me to be of value to you
it is not off thank you for doing that
and that's what just you know that's what this thing is about
so this is the things I do in order today to tell you that I remember well and let me tell you a little bit about me and about how I got here in order to do that I go back and start with this simple statement I was born at a very early age
well
it's necessary to go back and start there because you see
I have been in the middle of the Deep South
prospect they have in the middle of the Deep South
and I live in the middle of something called a bottle but
southern Baptist Bible by
Robert very strict religious southern Baptist home
no we want spiritual but let me tell you we as religious
Sunday morning Sunday night Wednesday night we is in a southern Baptist church and he was down on the bed
and this went on through my late teens when I left over to give men or girls when I was almost twenty
what's important about this time in my life is it it was it during this period that I've sold a concept of god that brought into adulthood to calls me some trouble
yeah I I went back and I know it's not the church's file because I remember them teaching me about god being loving god being forgiving
the concept that I brought into adulthood was god's going to get you
and I have the judging and punishing god he was set up in a in a great white throne him he's keeping tabs on both and I'm returning your call brimstone preachers we had an unpleasant Baptist church you know that tell you you ain't got to do it you just gotta find
well but also do you know did pharmacy a slip to whom
so this is this is this is my concept of my relationship with god when I came in the door as well not a very judging others are punishing god
my late teens I met surely we started dating she may be coming from that that southern Baptist home I went around and drinking and didn't know nothing about drinking she come from not broken alcoholics and and and you know what she said to me when we set the date to get married she said that we don't break in our home and I said well it just suits me fine
because I didn't have a great one here and you know she didn't write
and because you know because of her relationship with with her her alcoholic dad she said I'll never drive
so we we set out on this thing called the great American great
and
at all we knew about last was it you had to work hard make lots of money and have a nice his house upon the highest part of the heel and one had the biggest picket fence was one of the most successful
and that's what our life was about chasing a dollar so and we became good
we both have good jobs it took us a year we saved up enough money balked at first well how soon after you take you know the one I'm told that three little bitty bedroom remember the most updated and one by half that was smaller than that
live in the front yard a big huge backyard with a chain link fence for the dog increased
and we had an employee
three and a half years I worked with merry god gave us the most beautiful blonde haired blue eyed baby boy that Derek could ever will
and my cable part of the great American drive
seventeen months later loan came the most beautiful healthy brown eyed girl C. six became a part of the great American drug
we sat down we took stock
we had two kids we have two cars we had two jobs we had a hello Hey for calling we had was mortgaged to the hilt
whatever by
but we're just chasing that dog
surely had to go back to work
we needed a second paycheck
which went back to work actually she was born she was invited to join a social sororities best
it should be it
and we was one of the sorority clubs dances in the late summer down in Alabama down warrior river not too far out of here today on it we was at somebody's big nice river whole bottom out member was a nice place it was late in the summer and and and we was there and I was having this big party and
you know this manicured low and they had these lights stronger out everywhere and the music was soft there's a gentle breeze blowing in that mine was reflected offered river
and I woke up to my wife and handed her the first drink she ever had
says here how many drinks please
and every day so mad alcoholism but boy it does progress to neck al quick
it wasn't too many years down the road she was right up in my face and she was shaking her finger and she was saying things like if you have never given me that drink I wouldn't be the way I am today well I don't know anything about alcoholism all I knew was a minor relationship was changing and not for the better I knew that our financial situation was changing and not for the better
and I knew that our family life was changed and I knew that does trouble started when the drinking store
so what I did was hers I agreed with her
and I have excuse her for any responsibility for anything that happens as a result of the drink and I took on a load of guilt it was a real heavier and heavier and heavier
as long as the drinking continue it almost got to be more than this so bored goodbye
I could stand up here for hours
because sheer war stories with you about our trip through active out holding
and I love your store really do but we just don't have time
for me this year maybe we got some new covers in here that don't understand what war stories are let me explain to you what war store war stores go like the if we're sitting in the hospitality room we all got a Cup of coffee and I begin to tell you about how I cut my my little finger last week no I wouldn't buy it but I cut it right there when the little finger basins and it was just it wouldn't quit blade and overtime just about get it's probably not forget not been finder again and back yeah merry go and start bleeding again
and by a certain works
brace breaks are you talking about a paper to
he's a minor please let me tell you about now little sort
I use it although after the plan is not working or something but I am showing up at a constant level for the user what are doctors emergency room it took thirty Sir stitches
so when I first entered the final period you could name city will little for
Bob certain to tell you who
so were you guys don't know enough
ten years ago I was out in the backyard working with Taylor
what corrected playing
and it grew back
what I'm told that story you know what
yeah Bennett a former staff made you know what a thousand right
but I've heard about war stories over over this twenty years
whatever it is about stores near war stories of the site
all the fingers are different the times are different names are different
you get all that out of the way you know wants to sign
hi
that's what war stores are about to about pay
and we heard a whole lot locked
what I want to do for a few minutes to share with you a few of the pains that I experienced my trip to active homes
first played a German user Payne calling
how about you but let me tell you about me
what a good day I got up I agree with the man I
I don't a bad day I got up I agree with the band in a blind run it right
and I have been raised that way but I couldn't figure a way out
and it's saying to me that everything that was happening in my life at that time was a legitimate calls for rain
you know what I'm talking about
the next pain that share with you is a pain call reserve and I don't know what resemble once told I got hearing you talk me but as I look back I realize I was living my life full of reserve
because you see the timing belt so that if you lived up the street from me and I saw you and your wife and kids out in the yard cut no longer washing the car cooking at first saw the fame after doing something together I resented you
because alcoholism it taken away from us
and we didn't do things together like that anymore
if I saw you and your family get in your car come by my house going somewhere together I resented you
because we didn't go places together as a family anymore and of course when you about my house if your if your car was a little nicer than by
I resented you because alcoholism and taken the nice thing is we didn't have a many more
the biggest reserve one of all
my resentment god
because you see I was convinced that god was punishing me
we're giving surely the first grade to put the whole thing in motion and he was punishing me through her drinking
here's how my players with Dan if you could call operator okay bye good good
how much more this you go and put only
what kind of god or use it would continue to just push and shove a poor this store phone me
source service are not legitimate prior so you don't get answers to those kind of thing but here again that was my relationship with god
you see when I found that there was a balance
the next play that Cher with you is a pain I hear also holds talk about a lot and and and and it's a pain call loneliness and isolation talked about it last night
and and I I agree with you that our call is a is a disease of loneliness and isolation what I would do I I used to though is that you ain't got a corner on that market
we know about loneliness and isolation too and then I got a thing to do with how many people are in the road
some of the longest times of my life I've been in crowded room surrounded by friends
but you see we're sitting in this room and my friends are having a good time real genuine
true good tire and their laughter is very old and very enjoying themselves and I'm sitting over there without on fix two grand that we use to hire you a one up to about twenty used to her to treat
and I will go head around it you know what to say how could you be having so much for
how can you be set up you're enjoying yourself if you had a stroke wife at home like me that you couldn't sober up you wouldn't be having this good it and I want to cry out to you that will say can you tell me something that I might do
the server it right before I could say that's a red flag honor
no no you don't tell them about that you've got a drunk wife at home but you can't sober
or say this is the middle of the deep sigh
and you're the husband and you're the father and you're the head of the family
and if I tell you the active so the my wife did I give into that also trying this concerned me may
that's a pain call five zero
thank
the photo I was at the top of my profession
I can name goodbye
I was involved in France fast pitch softball and we we have a semi pro team we travel all around the southeast and we is darn good
I was very successful in their
but I walked around most I just really like a fight
cause I couldn't give my wife's over
this is where I was living my life
July of nineteen eighty two
may two teenage kids insure
for individuals live in four separate lives under one roof
but let me tell you that torn out of the talks about in the book is re
it has come through that home when is it absolutely ravaged at the same
ravaged
but we have a very unwritten rules every alcoholic home where
never lose you don't talk about
what you have to do it our houses right before you went outside you stop at the front door and straightened up
you made sure everything was in place including that folks my
and you went out you told the world that you were five
we need diamonds
and we were dying from the disease that we didn't even know we had a
late July the kids are going to softball game
C. C. and are in the car wait no Mike he's running a few minutes behind he's fifteen years old had to prep just a little bit more
because the front door to see and stop and talk to his mom for just a minute or two and then it comes out and gets in the car sometime later I found out what went on in the conversation that night because that was the beginning
or do you
he stopped at night at the door he looked at his mom and his mom when we get home tonight you can be passed out on the couch passed out in the floor where are you going to be passed out more
to see that was surely is imho she would start drinking just gonna have a few
and then the pricing was set in and she's out of control and and should pass a British pastor
and it surely was here tonight she would share this with you and I have a permission to tell you when he said that to her she raised her hand to slap his teeth
how dare he has her so
consulter more
and she raised her hand to slap his teeth division one in front of her the last time that her dropping dead had beat her with a belt buckle into the bell
she screamed out of him and she had said that if god ever allows me to have kids never let him know
and here she was prepared to slap her son's teeth out and she couldn't do not drink and have something to do with it because she had a drink in this I
mark didn't wait for the answer in the slap didn't have to happen thank god it didn't
he came and got the car we were to the boulder we're going home at night and you saw was different
and you saw it was different because when I pulled in the driveway the front door was open
and I saw surely moving around inside she one pastor and it was well past a past amount
we got out of the car to win in the house and she met me at the door and she's a bow I can't live this way anymore I can't go on this way anymore
and I've called this place up forty miles north of Birmingham it's a treatment center I'm going to do so but I'm wondering
and I looked at her today and I reacted today just over there just like on our door sure
with all the sarcasm that I could muster
this is sure to this number one thousand three hundred ninety two
what's different this time
forget you S. more bios checks out there she was in another time please give me a call read it were
it is
all right in believer took shower with the base
it was the next day
windows treatment center calling for an insurance information that I even believe that she could call
now once again folks god was taking care of us
because you see got service to that treatment center about forty miles north of very
that same sort of believe wholeheartedly in the twelve step programs available on an elegy
please wholeheartedly in treating this disease as a family disease researchers are is it didn't see it that way it didn't restart where we didn't know the difference
god so that's where we needed to pay for just a few short days just well she was thirty eight days two we should come out of there and turn the turn the corner into your arms we're we've been ever see
well
thank god they wrote me a letter and told me that they wanted me and both kids secured for thirteen and fifty
one of me and both kids come up here for for hell we
and
so
so we went up there and we have not and we moved in on Monday morning and stayed until Friday night and
we have not been on the property five minutes till till I was in my first little
discussion
they sent us down to the swing or the family stories there was eighteen family members up there represent six different patients so it's fifteen other people up here that I don't know
and we're gonna name this nice lady just running the the family waiting she says now yeah my call if you have to just end of the hall in the room Mister so and so
this is C. on what you down at this end of the hall and the room is so and so
hold on a minute later
hello you're putting my kids in the room
well folks that I know nothing about
no I'm not so sure proof of this
and with a big grand she looked at me and she's at all Mr tip when it's not necessary that you approve
you got a problem is to be packed up stairs in the group room
well five minutes later I was upstairs in the group
and they started that very first session and it's what I needed to hear I mean god just took terror me throughout the thing because the very first session they started telling me that my wife has a disease
and that that disease is called alcohol is
in there if I go to hello no I'm like they're going to suggest to me that I do hello Donna I'm going to learn about the three C.
and the three series B. of course and I didn't call I can't control it but I can't hear
well you see I needed to hear that I knew I couldn't control it and I couldn't hear darn near killed myself front
what I needed to hear was that I didn't close it
because you know what I took up there to that treatment center with me
so set lotus deal it was still getting heavier and heavier than his address my sponsor you Taylor I've got a code in time
well this time she checks over
so
so I begin to get this information the very first day
and I started that process why C. N. of sharing that low to do I finish the process an element
when I started to write the initiating that loaded you that was getting unbearable the next thing that happened up there is I had a lady come up hold on I don't know needing for a
no I've got the civic members of that you you've got things in your passenger just imprinted in your mind I mean this is one of those is just is nine
and and and I don't know what that girl did with the other seventeen people go see we were all like to know what was required to go to that meeting
I don't know what she did with the other seventeen point
cause I don't remember her pointer finger and say yes well
thank god sent her there for me
because you know where she came from
she came out of the old screw
like the old timers
she didn't come back to sugar coat anything she didn't come there to water down anything and she looked at me and she said well if you won't wanna
they usually go to Alan on here she didn't she didn't say I'm here to encourage you to go she didn't say hi wish you she didn't even use it from us why don't you try to six million
no she just said bread bowl
if you want what are
this is where you're going to
just not as she gave me good orderly direction
she never ever even talked about in office
I didn't need options then
I don't need options to the
I go to my meetings and I give my sponsor and I come to you for a good orderly direction god sent me that Roger that treatment some of them
the right for the million clothes she threw the sticker in just about a way to go be a kind of Daddy at all go make sure those two precious teenagers are taken to the policy
well just one of the oldest active Valentin group state Alabama was director
Roger Bessemer Alabama where we were headed
it brought over here then place for kids
we dodged bullets and got off he'll wait
we did not run down there not now double doors now maybe we waited a couple more weeks to surely got out we picked up a lot since well known Labor Day weekend on Saturday and we had instructions to go straight to the best of group of alcoholic you know we could not even go by the house and proper clothes on
but she had been in our thirty eight
and we went straight to the best of a group of Alcoholics Anonymous well we met up with a group of people down there and we formed a convoy member combos Bonneau y'all do
I love doing sorry we don't do it anymore I don't know anymore which would be
and we were going fifty miles farther down the road so you do this I I held on inverse
it was Labor Day weekend nobody was home
it is you were able to resist
all I can tell you is the story grows as it goes I'm up to now where I believe it was eighty five vehicles in this call
we have no phones for a hundred and twenty call
and we have a stock that was picked up so I was served over four door wagons tax returns motorcycles United ever worn was a wrong vehicle because I want a straight piece of sheet metal no work
and now I have one that aren't conditioner worked
it off to Tuscaloosa we go where we went in that meeting down in Salem we
do you ever hear my daughter sure stories you'll take it she developed the first resentment roster at that meeting that night she was thirteen years old
zero tear purses university now ma'am and they auctioned off right had a raffle they raffled off a red and white Crimson Tide football that was on her from her brother but she didn't win
most recently wrapped
we left that meeting that night and we came home
sure this first night home and thirty eight nine
and we got out a gallon of milk and we got out of two pound bag of chocolate chip cookies because they wouldn't let her have cookies upper
we sat down in the middle of the dance floor and until the sun came up
we talked about you know
we talked about what we have been introduced to
we might have commitment that night that we was going to give this thing are best
yeah I was still in the store for a long long time and it does only one that
how did I know that we talk to the sun came
let me tell you how no
because we had the curtains pool by name
we know was trying to show it to you I
the card is back in the door was open
and we watched the sun come up in the curtains I've been closely
we have to tears going for our team meetings and then we'd talk with
mark what's his phone he said it ain't for me
he's a mom I love you know I love you so over to hope you stay sober and when you get one of the birthday cakes go
then of course if you don't have to go to a convention down and pulled off Panama City to go short I don't know since well I'll go to that
but just want his deal to go those are often means
so usually with our foreign fell in love with
and stated that she was thirteen started after she was twenty and same problem and then
so let me stop you just a minute let me play your special for extra help to
Z. I. L. team sorry my daughter's law
we had no one to two years later she was contemplating suicide this summer that a motor so
the plane to live in that town hall because you should already told her friends that she would be back at school it's up to
is found out what they need to put arms around and they loved and she didn't have to do is
this is in this room tonight and you have you are now or ever have been and I'm a team sponsor let me assure you beyond a shadow of a doubt
thank god it's got a special garden in heaven for you I believe that my
I was over there and she's got her sponsor line she's got a book she's up women's spiritual principles in her life and she's get more oil
I've already told you what I was doing my underground blast around taking up space
I want doing us
that one oh for seven months until finally
I came to the point where I need it I have to do something about me and I S. friend to be much more
once our friend to be responsive we've got Jim involved in this thing I began to experience and spiritual growth and I begin to get some relief
we were going to move along all of a sudden it was terrible for made doing inventory I didn't tell them
yeah mmhm pretty intelligent so
I'm not into him so I started trying to do the seventh to arrive to sim toward I just Perrineau front trouble can get rid
so well
what's called up that's what I do see I wrote it in the ditch
once it's in the ditch I call them that's are gonna come by and see
so well by one afternoon so they are gonna Cup coffee and I said look I'm trying to do this in the door and I just can't get rid
a friend looked at me immediately and she said well both you're trying to run him a told you not to be in trouble so
just as wisdom
or forty seconds ago you knew nothing about
she's the one who drives in the fourth step you're in trouble so I could you make it through the first day
she said you still got got sent up there judging you and punishing you until you do something about your concept of god you know will make a whole lot more progress in this way along
so Jim
but I I hope you all noticed I have an A. N. N. elements books
zero
Jim reached out took about I am to come with me so
we were there on the steps of his house and into the is based on interviews starting
and we sat on his desk and he pulled out a book fair and it was called the big book malfunction of
thanks for
and he opened up that book to the chapter to the gnostic
and he took me under that chapter
it was right there in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous that afternoon
in this chapter to the gnostic
I found the girl
but I have in my life to the
it is no longer a John of judgment and perdition
is regarded as one of Palmer
as a result of the
Jan Newman
yes it in for that long
so I was a well
right this new because up to god
all right I'm also running no
and I won't
running just as hard away from god is not to
I'll see in a southern Baptist church when you turned it over to god
you have to become a Sunday school director
all right saying the rest
or you know maybe even a mission there
you know how much it turned over to
I want out of there with any of the
so I was running from the
thank god mother got it I have to very lovely and so because it allows me to run from him whenever I want to
they give me a free will and allows me to use your house really just just as miserable as I have to get
when I get is what I can you stand it anymore then I turn around and he's as close as the next breath
so I'm running from the
right you don't want morning is a Wednesday morning member that the look AT shirt in us at all you're going to work today
my worksheet for smugglers
she's a remote you started
I said I will stay home
this is of what is it you were with the
that's it surely I will get away from it
so how miserable and miles D. N. Y. we
don't know how to get away from
hello bill Lochleven this one
so I decided I'd go to work I should be miserable and get paid for
and I tried to make it to work that morning but you see I got about half way to working in a former truck out of traffic I pulled over on the side of the road five minutes to
in a brief over stern we
hello holler to go
I was gone I don't know what I've got you can use
god I don't know where we're going to have to go with what we want to get involved in
whatever it is I've got whatever we got to go what are we got a good job let's do
it was a girl that's a far GMO
that's correct
that's rich
as I look back I realize what I did it five minutes later Wednesday morning Zafar Iqbal was general manager Bozella
as I looked around real hard the best general manager was available and that's gonna
this is Bob interstate that morning to run here with you tonight the previous job I've had in my life is to keep both starred thank god how are yeah
so then I began to experience more spiritual growth and and we begin to experience as the book tells us when the spiritual melodies overcome they will strike now mentally and physically and with and we even begin to experience some financial recovery they were five and a half years into this thing and in this tragedy happens in our lives and the tragedy is that our twenty year old son Mike was killed by a drunk driver
and and and and but here's the reason I share this with you
you see we're we're not we're not the only people who have ever lost
but I won't tell you something god had us and I I you know I don't know now the thing for five and a half years
giving us a place to work for a spiritual base to sustain us when this happened
it's not midnight when those policemen knocked on our door
the brings the message mark still lived at home
two of those policemen and then his little league ball clubs
T.
what's the phone up picked up the phone to call for a
brand would help
three minutes later a member I came
explain her was well you got to hang the phone up
hello Fran I would think this photo
so see I had her over into that phone
one of another hang this phone up she said come we can come to you so
well talking to you
so the twelve steps of the book is just twelve step phone apart
well still for what was just trying to stir up so well
twelve steps in action folks is so open to hello
powerful powerful members
my simple mind is not capable of copper in
the spiritual power that we can generate
we gather together rooms like the house
the folks like gosh
it's been here this weekend is here tonight I hope that you have
within forty five minutes of us getting the news March this I in Alan on was in our home
I needed something different
see the rest of the family came and got tired I had to go home
the church came brought that fried chicken and try to sell it
hello
Hey and I don't know I don't know if the engine
in the state
twenty four hours that
the new look that is new so we're not here with that since we don't understand this anymore than you
we don't have the answers to this what we have is we have open arms a bit and we have soft Chester we have big hearts and we won't four arms around you and love you through this if you will let us
that's what you've been doing for the past fifteen years login issues
all right so powerful moves
well the last time I saw my soon learn
because I enjoyed
he's still the nine o'clock on a Tuesday night
seven o'clock on Tuesday morning he was leaving to go to work
the same family
send them a picture of the Cup coffee
I don't know his younger
today I'm going to work
it was about three steps toward the front door stop turn around look at me
this is I love you do you
dory with I'm here tonight not only to report to you that but thank you
program
because you see you taught us how to live that way
rooms are beautiful folks just like you we want to live in that way when we got here
I don't tell you Sir ma'am that one nobody has left to be made twenty million that boy
we use okay
and that's that's Friday morning when I walked up to his desk I didn't have to stand there sorry man I needed to talk to you about one more thing for which we know
no
it was done do you
good
no I'm convinced today and then we'll move on from there so I'm from this today because I've walked through the deepest darkest family
that is that it will ever have trouble
no
no so what should happen to see see the value would be just as the
just to start but it wouldn't be any deeper
it would be eighty dollars
the good news is offering to you is that I have never taken one step of that local low
every step of the wall Hey and I don't know intended by this I
god help me by this
it was made up walk together
what do you
and I came here twenty years ago to learn how to keep my wife so
well we begin to walk through that
this is not your job in order to route them to her lost
and he won't know nobody works do you need he was riding the big book of Alcoholics unknown
Bob had five years of good sponsored big book twelve steps so bright
and they fell in love and set the date to get married they wanted to get married in the same chart for me and Charlie got mad so he made sure to the Max thirty nine years
and we dated for five years
and so I wanted to get married at Saint John the Baptist church days if it weren't for me and surely it might work for them
well we have a counselor afternoon hello we it was a retired Methodist minister
and he stayed involved in our lives and we've been friends let's call how would how would serve well I sure right nobody go manner you too but maybe
it's always up to date and we get after that so the birds church service
I will tell you so
it was an absolute awesome sign
we had a big terrible over there right to the side of the altar this journey now live from Michael
because you see March just in the next room
so he was there at the wedding was
how ARE this preacher's to
he showed up at the Baptist church
Warren a Catholic Rome but he bought it from somebody
doing a Methodist ceremony
we opened up paying with the lords with a serenity prior
and we closed it with the lord's prayer
and I'm still gonna resentment and I'm working on today because surely wouldn't limit price to buy
right the problem since you got married surely not started we want to move to the woods Tyra even until you
so we have sold a house with a boom in the yard you know the manicured yard all the
and we looked around found this we're land Behrens now
well those two acres homes outside of here after west blocked an element
you won't wonder where that is it's right across highways least blocked
I don't hit the
we don't even have a rental we got a voice in that song when they
and
we service to work this afternoon and and and sissy come to us I was living in apartments they were written they said we we Texas right to Jones going after in the woods but we will go with
so we put our money together and did the best we could and we ended up after with pharmacist your home basketball hill Missouri almost off the
and then we moved after to serenity he
and would be our last again to come back together again and again to be some some semblance of sanity going on again and then one Saturday Shirley and I decided that we would run down to the Indian reservation and in Mississippi they have a little thing on the Indian reservation call the casino
two and a half hours from our house and we were just taking a holiday it's going to go over there and have a little fun
let me hear somewhere you folks if you're walking a casino and security is paging you to the office can you remember to do that's the role of some is rock
we got to the office they gave us telephone number to call we called and it was one assist as best free
because she said you need to turn around come home
she said Susie is just got the report back from the doctor and she has an aneurysm in the brain
so we went to the van and we started back home no this is June of nineteen ninety nine
it is raining
and I'm driving that by and I'm beating on the stern wheel and I'm calling to go
tell about Hornet go
which see god loves me so much and he knows I get mad at him every once in awhile when I don't understand he knows me let's bring home
because I'll be noticed we own and I'm not in his lane and then looked over my wife and I saw our change come over my wife that was absolutely visible
nah she works usually from the hand of god on the show
I did see that and got on her shoulder but also the change
and and and so and she looked at me she's supposed to approve this plan over she said driver's home
she said I don't know what the outcome of this is going to be but I know it's going to be okay
she said that's what god what's for dinner
Cisco you
well I couldn't get okay with
we got a hold of two but the the daughter told me she's a dead Gardner I've talked about this thing and I don't know what the outcome is going to be but it's going to be okay
but I was I was a basket
let me tell you what I was a basket case from
I don't know about you but when I get bad news I go absolutely to the worst network way backwards any that one
well when I heard about ten years of my head in the casket
cause any reasons to what is it
I have a daughter in the testing
but I couldn't walk up to
because it was one of millions
and I have not been able to figure out a way to make me
one man
that's what my craziness was coming
I couldn't figure out how to my commander my bro daughter for not taking her to church as a child and allowing her to have a god of Roland stands
you see my daughter never had a gun rona standing to she was involved in an almost
S. Perreault rocked her of those years of a relationship grow
because I couldn't figure out how might certainly
so start crazy throughout the whole thing
well you know what happened
textbook operation
that's what the doctor is a teaching doctor needs to do the worst mistake I've made the didn't fill my
user was absolutely touched
operated on Tuesday morning center home yesterday morning
walked in the room and says I've got all of do for you you're welcome
she was ground zero for a while
and so two weeks later I get home from work one day
and there's a letter for me and it's tied to the front door
assistance is written me a letter and walked up the hill tied to the front row
and I go in in a sedan and with here's what Miller said
so then I want to thank you
with regards to having you
hello thank you for loving me enough that you sure that god with me
and I want to thank you for the power that you've told me about the power that I now have a mild
the craziness went away
Z. Amanda's been by
we just have to go through brain surgery if I do that
she's doing fine she's three she's four years now four years is more post surgery she still has a migraines are still working on that
but here is this for
you and we should have known that was a guard people start with because she's most friendly
thank god showed us away for this one to be found in the V. six
her husband is having some few little medical problems so we're we're experiencing some changes told you I had a back operation or a year and a half ago I had to go on disability I want ready to go disability but I had to go on disability we've had some financial adjustments due to that but you know what to build a price
or the internet we go hungry
yeah life is coming back together again you know and and things are getting good again and what we've learned through this is that when something happens we gotta run straight to you
we can no longer run away from
got to run straight to you and this is why we're living our lives today B. and real real active real real busy real real in your life as much as you will allow us to bury
because let me tell you so
I've never seen
the burning bush
and I've never experienced a flash of light of the cool breeze
with the god of my understanding that I have in my life today speaks to me on a real regular prices
and when god speaks to me today I thought it that's it done usually look and sound a whole lot like you
you see you are Macha
I get my answers for me
so
as I close this thing I hope that you you you have an understanding of just how big it just how powerful market already
I hope you have an understanding of just how important you are just have bottles you order me in my relationship with my girl
and if you do that I want to close by making this deal with and here's the very
I will keep coming back
rooms like yours for folks just like you
you're part of the deal I want you to keep coming back
rooms like yours for folks just like a
so I keep coming back and you keep coming back
one day just maybe one day somewhere down the road our prayers will cross again
as we cross this road of happy destiny my god bless you and keep you until the end thank you