The topic of

hello Iceland

my name is John Kelly I'm a grateful recovered alcoholics

in my sobriety date is September fourth nineteen ninety nine and for that I'm very very grateful and and I start this way everywhere I speak and I and I I do a lot of treatment centers and stuff like that but I'm not one of these guys that walk around going oh I got me a job today I'm so grateful I got me a car today I'm so grateful god does not want to hear that from me

he wants to see me in action right

T. here's my thoughts he hears my prayers but he wants to see me take action

and in

what better way for me to show the god of my understanding my gratitude for having a life today then to get off my rear end and take this program to somebody who is dying just like I was

that's how I show got my gratitude

hi

I've been sitting here for two days listen to everybody speak and I

if I woke up I woke up at like three in the morning to go to the restroom and I'm laying in bed and I couldn't go back to sleep and I'm like god I wish I could speak now

I had some good stuff in three in the morning

I had good stuff

and I broke a little cardinal rule I don't ever drink coffee before I speak and I've been I've been stuck in this stuff down since I woke up and I was like

I don't know what's going to come out but but I said a little prayer before I you know and I just got

I talked to Chris Raymer ice I saw him speak in Dallas like two weeks ago

and

I asked him I said you know on the Saturday night guy you know like what am I supposed to talk about

and he's like you know buckaroo just pray and do what you do best

and thank god I made it to a group in Dallas Texas the primary purpose group

I made it to the group for the people were alive

they had the power

they had it

and that was something that I never had

and you know we'll go through all my story tonight I won't be down with it today two in one day that maybe

let us

you know my sponsor didn't ask me

what he's what I thought about what we're gonna do

he told me what to do

and that is to get off my rear end and go out and help others

see what I can give back

and

today my group we're having we're celebrating our sixteenth anniversary

and

one of the what we we have a little display room they had we had to remake it because we lost it a couple years ago but we have we have a little display that they're going to make and and what it is I think the concept this year is is is a treat with many many branches in many many leads in and out but not of the tree there's the a symbol

in any got the roots going into the ground but then you have the leaves on the tree and that's the places that people from my group goal in around Dallas in the community to carry the message

and in the fruit on the street or the places that all over the world the people have our our big book study guide

you know in in it it's because of one man my sponsor close bishop that that I mean think of the people that he's touched I mean he's he doesn't walk on water he's not a saying he's just the guy but he's a guy who's passionate about this program and this fellowship

and just seeing the lives of change because of his work

it's truly truly amazing and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the people of that group and and people like you

could I spend a lot of years

in the fellowship I call it drinking coffee and playing grab ****

I did what the treatment centers told me

I didn't drink and I went to meetings

and I was slowly but surely dari

and I got sober

and in my sponsor told me when they call in the where to be

and my deal is to reach out

one of the places I go is is is a is a busted up treatment center near my near my home in Dallas and it's not one of these places

where you get these high bottom drunks these are people that have been around the block I mean I got a stack of desire chips you know throughout the years

and it was put very clear to me that that in order to keep what I have I need to give it away

in the big book is very very clear and very specific on this mission

I'm left to my own devices I'm a selfish self centered egotistical and so you know you know what

and I cannot expect to keep what I have without giving it away and how would it be of me to get what I got to tell god dates

I got it from here

Southway roles for me

I mean let's look at it

you know before I go off way off on a tangent I mean let's just look at a couple things in the big book what it says if you go to Roman numeral sixteen in my book I don't know somebody was gonna traveling honor was gonna yell out the the pages in your book the Roman numeral sixteen at the very bottom it says this seems to prove that one alcoholic could affect another is no non alcoholic could it indicated that St Louis work one alcoholic with another was vital to permanent recovery

vital of life

my job is to get off my rear end and take this to you

somebody that wants to

I can't give it away unless you start to take it

and if you're willing to go to any length I'll go to that I'll go to the mat for yeah

let's see just like if I want to get what these cats got I got to do what they did

there is no gray area in my mind

if I want to get the solution that these folks got I have to follow the precise instructions and that's what it says in the four to the first edition

precise instructions were given on how to recover

he flip over to page fourteen in bill's story

and this is for you know this is

close yeah the bottom of page fourteen it says my friend it emphasizes the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles and all my affairs particularly was imperative to work with others as you'd work with me faith without works was dead he said it's kind of like a Dr Seuss you know

and how appallingly falling the truth for the alcoholic

I am an alcoholic I have to have a drink wherever I go

it says for an alcoholic fails to perfect in a larger spiritual life through work and self sacrifice for others he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead

he did not working which surely drink if you drink he would surely die with it with us it is just like that

I know goes on to say that Hey I'm gonna try other measures

right I'm gonna try I mean you know it it's it's funny how I'll try these other measures are the measures and I think

all that's left to do is I guess I gotta pray

that's that's in Texas we call that **** backwards

I need to pray first

the bill tells us we're going to try other things I can just imagine bill and and in nineteen thirty four he's sober and and you know he's like jogging around Central Park he's doing push ups he's going to the movies doing everything imaginable try to fix the fault that he's in what save the day going to towns hospital in sharing his story

yeah we're driving around yeah I have no idea where I'm at in

in this down because we've taken every back road imaginable to get from point a to point B.

I if I had if I had to walk home I am sorry I might as well just camp out right here but and one of our journeys yesterday we drove past the cemetery

and I'm reminded of what one of my buddies says you know you look at the tombstones and what is the most important thing on the tombstone

there's usually some information on there but what's the most important thing

the dash

that's what I did with my life or what those people did with my life I've got a birth date and I've got a death date but what did I do in between

but big book tells me that god is going to provide me with everything I need yes I'm close to god and perform his work well

if you're brand new to this deal let me say that again my god is going to provide me with everything I need yes

I'm close to god and do the work my sponsor told me to write that down is is that is your job description

right you know what a day timer is at the top of my little daytime Ronald I don't write I am late I'm a lazy son of a gun I don't write stuff you know but I have it in my head it's a mental picture and on my day I have that

and everything else the work my girlfriend my family and everything else falls below that or is encompassed within that but my job is to stay close to god and do the work and I get what I need and if god is giving me what I need what else do I need

I want a lot of things

you guys can see me afterwards I'll tell you the what I want you know

shock you ladies out here you know I

we left to my own devices I'm a freak you know

you know we gotta how are already are working with others

working with others and you know this opening two paragraphs is as practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensuring unity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics see he's alluding to the fact that I've got to take action action action

I mean this is a group full of alcoholics is there anybody in this room that drink for like an hour a day

no so so how do I get the delusion that going to a meeting for an hour a day is going to

sure what ails me

I drink intensively

I set the bar really really really high

what links was I willing to go to to get that next bottle of vodka

I went to any links

and bill story it says simple but not easy a price must be paid and I'm here to tell yeah especially if you're a new comer simple but not easy a price must be paid and believe me brothers and sisters a price is going to be paid one way or the other

I'm either going to pay the price they keep drinking until my death or I'm gonna pay the price you can get off my rear and do the work and help you

well one way or the other I'm paying

he

says carry this message to other alcoholics you can help when no one else can

my mama couldn't help me

I mean there's got all in my family

I got three brothers I went to seminary might my sister is married to a minister there's got everywhere and I was the test kit you know

Kerry was the last of five I was the first of five you know

you know my parents are walking around Lloyd date you know

what's up we'll

they couldn't help me

you know I don't think I have doctor still on TV here but Dr Phil could not help me

I have this little nightmare one of these days I'm gonna run into Dr Phil and I have this image

because I kind of bash the guy you know

I believe the next paragraph it says life will take on new meaning my life had no meaning I was the bottom of the barrel street level drunk I had no meaning in life

except the ones that the one that you gave me

to watch other people recover to see them help others to watch loneliness vanish to see a fellowship grow up about you they have a host of friends this is an experience you must not miss we know you will not want to miss it

that's a mouthful

one of the coolest things and I remember I I got my first got a sponsor before I even had a a thirty day trip

does that does all treatment center where I wind it up

you know Texas we have wind up joints you don't have those here you want to wind up joint is

well you keep drinking and that's where you wind up you know

and that's what this little treatment center is you know and in my job wasn't to go to speak I mean if you would've told me that I was going to stand from a podium and speak to you when I got sober I would it I probably you know when the last

but my job was to show up and try to help out

and some guy that was about my age who I'd seen before he came up to me and asked me if I take them through the steps and I call my sponsors it you're not gonna believe what happened this guy asked me to take him to the work

you know my sponsor likely didn't Tellem no digest

I said no but you know I what do I do he's like John you know how to read the book read the book

you know this whole chapters chock full of information that's going to show me how to

Roach this new man

it's my not my job to convert them my job is to lay out the program of action if you are what I got come on if you got your own ideas

my hat's off to you

it's a simple as that

thank god my sponsor keeps it simple

because I may not have made it

but shortly after I got this first guy get another guy and this guy was mean you know and then it done a couple stints in prison this guy was antisocial he hated the world

yeah

and we started doing the work and you can see I can see it because I work with them closely and I can see the change starting to happen

but he didn't like talking to you he barely like talking to me you know part of my job is to hold him accountable you know and so you know I'd like you know you show to the meeting and I make my guys get there where

you know you you know my meeting we have three meetings a week and we start at seven thirty and I don't want my guys getting their seven twenty five

get there at six thirty

be a part of

help set up the chairs help make the coffee stand by the door and greet people be a part of even if you got a one day sobriety talk to that new guy

in Ben was slowly slowly but surely starting to do this

and I remember we go down a Myers Myers does his little rant and rave at this treatment center and everybody's fired up there's about forty guys we all get outside for a smoke break and everybody's kind of huddled into is in threes and everybody's got their big book opening guys exchanging numbers it's a cool thing

and I remember talking to Myers and my other buddies and I look off over in the distance

you're not gonna believe it

this antisocial

mean spirited person has got his big book opened

and he's given out some information to some guys in the tree

and I start to cry

you know I don't have to worry about what god's gonna do because god's going to do what he does

but to see a busted up drunk

whose side he had given up on

to see what god can do in his life

because he was out of options and to see him attempt to pass this on I don't ever want to forget that

and I don't know I don't ever want to get so comfortable in the fellowship that I forget that stuff

see I keep it real

my days are filled with being on the firing line

yeah I know what the firing line is right

see I may not miss Iran I may miss all that good stuff I just you know we all clean up pretty good right and if I hang around you cats all day long I may think that we're all set

when I go to those places those CD places to see alcoholism up close in in my face

I don't have to go back to the word I don't gotta go do is step one again because I see step one every day

I see what this illness does not only in the individuals but their families

I see it every day and I want to keep that

my responsibility as a sponsor doesn't end with the guys that I sponsored

but did not give me plenty of information on how to approach their families

so even if my guy doesn't want to stay sober even if you can't stay sober he is unwilling to do the work

he's created a lot of damage in his own household

it is my responsibility to do what I can for them

it's my responsibility to at least offer them the opportunity get them plugged into our non or Alateen or Allentown or whatever it is

you know

I'm sure I'm sure you've seen

here

the unfortunate happenings that well this guy's out he's doing he's he's not carrying the message in

C.

it's all in my motives

that I may get in trouble this is totally my view on things so if you could take it or leave it right

but when I go to you and we sit down and we go through the work

I think there to fix my job is to lay out the information but when I'm there I have a sincere desire

for you to get what I got a better

just so happened god takes care of me

I don't have to worry about what god's gonna do for me because god just does

but a little bit he shift

and I start attending these places are attending these meetings are doing this stuff because I need god to save me that's a little change in my motive don't you think

and I don't want to be like that

I know up close and personal one alcoholism did to me and my family

and I know up close and personal what god did

and continues to do

because I'm willing to go to any length

and just because I did it yesterday doesn't mean I'm I'm gonna be okay today

it's a very simple thing

I stay close to god

I do the work no matter what Tuesday

I hear a lot of speakers and there's some folks in my group that started cocaine anonymous group and I hear a lot of I hear a lot of people say a lot of things one of the things that I have trouble with

that I hear is is finding balance let's find a balance so I asked my sponsor about that can you go to John Kelly he said ask balance

if your balance is to be on the firing line no matter what

when I was brand new and sobriety I

I had this job that I wasn't too happy about and I had

I didn't have any money

anything you

but he was working with me we're going to do this work rapidly you know and it's it's sinking in and I needed to call

not because I I wanted his advice but I wanted to hear what he would say because I'm working in the big book you know at work and I'm I'm trying to see where the where this is all going to play out and I call them because I want to hear what he has to say to me so I can pass that on

so I called and I wind a little bit

they're not treating me right here working on my boss is a frigging idiot and you know this and that and that is like John is that that job you got you had when you got sober a couple weeks ago as a yeah he just started laughing go those poor **** should have fired you a long time ago

you don't even deserve to have a job

you get to have a job

if god was fair if the streets were fair you're absolutely dead

see I spent a lot of time seeing what you could do for me rather than what I could do for you

spent a lot of time in my life seen what I can suck out a life rather than give them back to life

see that's my job and I I try to do that every day

and I try to instill that in the guys that I work with and I try to instill that if I get invited to to speak places

because see I spent a lot of years sitting on the sidelines I heard a speaker a long time ago said Hey some of us are good twelve steppers some of us aren't you know so if your deals and I took that and ran with it you know

there's no accountability I'm just gonna show up for a meeting here and there and I'll be all right that doesn't work for me I'm a real alcoholic

after I left to my own devices I drink

if you're one of these cats that sitting on your hands and you're too shy or whatever ask for help

don't miss this deal

it is the coolest thing in the world to have your whole materialise falling apart she left me the job sucks my card I will run my dog died my goldfish is sick everything's falling apart in the to get a call from somebody or to have a commitment and go and sit down with another alcoholic and tell your story to them

that's my job

and when I was sober that in click

that didn't seem my life is falling apart I can't pay my bills I don't know what I'm gonna be living on the streets over

well John did you pray

no

maybe maybe we should press

you have a dollar in your pocket in the city yeah

this is great let's pray

take your little dollar and take your big book and go to the twenty four hour club get a Cup of coffee and talked to every and then after that comes through that door

call me in a couple hours when you're done

you would not believe the curse words that go hand regarding my

I can't pay my bills I don't have a girlfriend my car sucks and I'm supposed to do

ask god for help

Kickin and Screamin

evil and foreboding thought

I went to this wind up doing I got a Cup of coffee and I sat down and talked to every person that walks through that door hi my name's John Kelly

it's kind of like when when when Dr Bob went to

Henrietta cyberlink house and gave his wife we we're gonna talk to this sucker for fifteen minutes and then we're leasing because I need a drink you know

and they stayed talking to all hours of the night you know till eleven fifteen or whatever it was I don't know how long I stayed at that place

but I tell you what the wheels on my car didn't touch the ground driving home you know unlike

this is what it's all about

so what does that prove to me improve one thing

thank god takes care of me

Kickin and Screamin mon an invitation I prayed

and I took some actions

actions that didn't seem that seem incongruent with what would work but I took the actions that I didn't get in did not yet believe

and god just dumped on me a whole heaping pile of faith

I don't have to question that anymore it just works

matter of fact I kinda like it now

when I feel that way

because I know I'm gonna meet somebody really really special

I have a guy that I sponsored and he just moved to Tennessee a few months ago and this guy you talk about a big boat **** having her he that's it you know and I'll stick with the **** you know who he

this guy's a little little rough around the edges right

this guy is passionate about this deal

and

the last place he spoke in Dallas before he went he kinda kinda Susan since a variety hand grenades into the audience you know

ruffled a few feathers of the old timers and you know my sponsors getting the calls and he's like you know you're going to have we have to talk with Jay before he goes out of town he's gonna piss and folks are

so we so you know accountability is a **** sometimes and you know he had to take a bite of that sandwich you know and

but we had a little game plan for he went when he went away to this new town in this new environment because there's not big book thumper is everywhere

yeah there ain't fundamentalist everywhere you know

I don't I don't I I hear from from this the people that I've met here that

you also offered from the same thing is is we do back in the states you know a lot of the middle of the road stuff

and so we had a game plan in his game plan was to go in and kind of audit some of these groups and find some of these people who are of like minded right but as other prior priority was to to to rely on god and ask god to show him where he needs to go and so I found a little wind a joint he started taking a meeting there just him

a little by slowly he gets he gets a prospect and they go start going through the work and all of a sudden this prospect has a spiritual experience in his life changes right before my guy's eyes right now they've got to

and that too became for

and they started to infiltrate you know now for at a group can start making a difference well now that four grew into about twelve and a real road to group conscious and now they got a big book study meeting you know

but he didn't go there preaching he didn't go their proselytising he just went there with the information and god in his heart

and that's what we do

well if I never make it to another meeting I mean I've been to three discussion meeting since I've been sober

and I was all out of town visiting I don't go to their I my life is busy Mike my group meets three nights a week Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays the rest of the time we're out there

we're out there on the firing line

and to see that ripple effect happen is truly truly amazing

yeah I just challenge you personally don't sit on the sideline

be involved the agreed

I mean I got guys that I sponsor that will never get up at a podium or at least never right now you know

what should someone that I love dearly a brother or sister or close family friend or whatever need and want this program I would trust those people with with those guys they're excellent sponsors

but they didn't miss the boat

I held them accountable

they did the work and they relied on god they don't rely on me

but they got off their selfish self centered ****

indeed what they can to help somebody else

and that's a simple deal

and it doesn't stop and begin with Alcoholics Anonymous and it affects every aspect of my life how can I be helpful to my employer how can I be helpful to my family how can I be helpful to my neighbors

I mean let's think about it

we've all done a four step how many names that we have down that forced them

quite a lot

if they think ten percent of the population has this illness

all of our four steps times ten or twenty you know what basically the point I'm driving at is is this illness affects everybody

one way or the other

the little lady in the grocery store she may not be an alcoholic her husband may not be an alcoholics but maybe her kid was killed by a drunk driver this illness that touches everyone so my job is to go out and help those people

you know what I often think and only ended here but I also think what would

bill Wilson and Dr Bob or clearance nighter bill Dotson what would they think today if they came

and sat there some of our meetings

what would they think

has the original intent in the original message been watered down

are we doing our part

are we upholding these principles

you know I hear a lot of folks say all of the treatment centers did this the treatments at all of these days the judges do this whatever we sat on our **** let it happen

you know what in the name of love and tolerance doesn't become apathy

come on man

I don't know how long I spoke at a probably speak too long anyway I'll I'll end it here and I I'll do that I'll do the big story tonight but I do I want to say before I end here I will I want to thank all of you for for inviting us to come here and it is truly truly amazing to look around the room and to visit with you individually and see that the lights are on

it's very very sad in my heart when I go to a group and there's no lights on

very very sad when I see people sitting there gripping the table holding on for dear life

because that's not what this deal is about this deal is about freedom

M. Myers assured me when I got off the plane I would know god is here

my friends picked me up from the airport and I took a breath of that Iceland there and I instantly knew god was here and then come in to meet all you folks and just sitting up here looking out at you

the lights are on

so what are we gonna do to keep it

that's all I got thank you for having