Steps 1 and 2 at the Carry This Message group in West Orange, NJ

we have a very dear friend of mine to share his story and his experience with the twelve steps I've known George ever since my second day now holds a non

yeah absolutely

for those that then here you said and I was sick enough to come back I can't say enough good things about George and I'm sure

when you get done listening to them speak you'll feel the same way

I like to say this about Georgie has a corrupt exterior Pussycat inside so

don't let the man anyway

here tonight to share his story and his experience with that one and two is George from freehold New Jersey

posted at five

popular people off of that

good evening my name is George Smith

and I am definitely an alcoholic

have you ever done in the real area you need somebody to talk to or if you just need somebody to talk to my telephone number seven three two six five seven seven eight three five don't be afraid to call anytime day or night if you don't get me on the phone you'll get my wife you could talk to her too but the only thing is

she was sweet kind loving inside

I think you know that my daughter she'll tell you sponsoring battle I'm meeting

his black belt that one on

a little bit about myself before I get into my drinking dialog because everything I'm gonna tell you about my drinking experience and history is a lie

with the student told me by people who just dropped his screwed up as I was so the reality of it is all mixed up in all screwed up

and a little bit but I do remember

I don't remember

basically I drank for thirty seven years out of that thirty seven years missing fifteen years of

as a functional blackouts

miserable SOB

if I don't make it sound like I'm

very happy

it's just that when I try to carry the message can I use the word try

I'm scared to death right now to be honest with you

but I'm very passionate about this program because this program

a lot of qualities and anonymous I also had trouble saying the word I decide what I want but

you know but I know what I mean

I'm very passionate about this program because to save my life

as in all right I could be dead because when I came home that day I had my last drink I was bleeding from orifices of my body when I should not have been believing

I had a yellow complexion my eyes were not seeing anything

and your policy

and I was the second part and I want to know the current

I had my choice either have that coming

not because of what we have and go to jail for twenty five that the for five years and twenty five thousand dollars for

it is drunkenness as screwed up as I was I realized the twenty eight days and we had a lot less than five years and I have a lot cheaper than twenty five thousand dollars fine

the only reason I was facing that because the cops did not understand

they only I had my say without my seventeen the W. why in the state in New Jersey and my New Jersey drivers license

because the cops were picking on me

thank

I really don't remember too much well actually it was on the

you know

it would take a seat at the bouncing off the walls this makes

yeah

what will be a real bad and they were gonna lock me in a cell and I didn't want to go

I fell down a flight of stairs in the middle of the interrogation room

with the baton report

but I also must remind remind every vocalist and force other states who for different licenses each

I lost my life this is my driver's license within the state the last time for ten years eighteen years ago

and stating that you're still will not find apparently they lost my license this potty

when I went up and my condition

very easy

I don't remember my first drink

I was a little kid I used to cry a lot

Irma's didn't get much sleep said about that he's looking a little bit of a crime

I cried a lot

taking them with some of the early days you know

five five learn how to walk I could go to the refrigerator my parents my parents with

heavy drinkers

by no means a description never out in the Big Apple

it's my parents in no way

Richard caring loving path

or so

do not taken blame my alcoholism and then

I DO not taken say I come from a dysfunctional house because my faith and my family

they tried very hard taken raised my sister and I

the dysfunction in the house

I will a big enough to go on a refrigerator my parents have a party I don't I get the beer for everybody and all night

welcome back to open everybody top of the church kia you know they give me a lift a little drag on the bottom of the canopy or you know or on the bottom of the bottle and I tell you what they can make a lot more than they wanted to because I wanted to have a little bit it's right

and I can remember one of the greatest days of my life I could pick up on how to use a church he myself and I can go to

if you were to get injured

later

no I don't need him anymore

thanks I just gonna put him in and get it in the trunk

I remember my first time

I have cannot be

we went down and it came up

I fell down the stairs I have a little trouble with stairs

thank you hello myself Peter my pants

I want to do it again

the

many times

my grandfather used to live with us

anyway the rest in an alcoholic

eight all

the exact

my sister and I every day will call up the taxi service in the town we let them and they would deliver a case of beer cordon bleu and a bottle of wine my grandfather

when I was seven years old

I called up one day and they delivered two cases of beer two bottles of wine

two bottles of booze

am I talking grandfather never got the second of the

I had a rock

five three five

going to be popular I was going to be fantastic I was going to be able to everything that I thought you know people trying to be happy and be sociable

I don't know I don't think I was ever happy and I know because I was too sociable because if you want it might be I was going to happen with the office of

it has the best collection of forty five records and anybody and he was too young to remember like CD some of the bigger the song I decided that when I have

you can fit quite a few of them in the open line or your jacket

but I was invited to a lot of parties I've been a six pack of beer for them in a six pack of beer for me and Hey you know this is great you know

nine years old I had my first cigarette and I got a buzz on that as somebody handed me a funny one and ice is removed yeah

at ten years old I found I read read or heard somewhere that the meadow lands a role of a

marijuana can parse mountain birds see

my poor my father had a poor power keep it then you start that because all the food went out the field the fact I smoked everything that came up I found out what it was like

okay that was a little bit of my drug store and that's about all you can hear about me

by the state for your concerned I've done just about everything there is like a track somebody on their twenty five years old but I honestly believe that I would have done if it hadn't been for the fact that I was drunk

the daily drink of the day that my grandfather got that double delivery at the age of seven

I drink every day

cool it's another place to go to sleep

about nine ten years all my godfather he said my father is that Kate never gonna make college

he was right

he doesn't want to start the him to try to be in a plumber

hi fi I can make some money

hello our

no problem

like the made a few

I had taken the lapped

I had a sister that was four years forty years older than me and she hung around with people that were a couple of years older than her

and we'll we'll let that we used to live in a border town right on the borderline the drinking age in New York at that time was eighteen

the driving age New Jersey was seventeen but if you could get into a bar open the door and reach up and put the money on the bar and get a drink down without spilling over the edge of the bar the bartender would certainly I would never approve

that's my growing up years

cool with that I said this is not the place to sleep I couldn't get in trouble in the town I live there because my parents had gone to school with half the teachers and the half of the police department so anytime I passed out in school they just called my parents and they come down you know by the time the old man got home this is an over the road trucker with the time table was forgotten

yeah

if I got in trouble will be a publicly intoxicated the cops to kick my **** take me home you know and

the man got all

PO one up and coming on the road you know everything was cool

nineteen eighty one when I was done

I got thrown out of three different high schools

the basically the same reason the lawn high school because the teachers brought over a half a day one or two martini lunch and I grew up my three or four hours

sit in the rainbow nation bar and grill

yeah lunch

sometimes I made it to work

even back then I was getting in trouble for missing work

he was on the dance teachers for

well the process for

the impact

they just couldn't leave me alone in it they understand that I'm a hard working growing up young teenage bride went beyond the professional for years you know I should be left alone I need to experience quite

I got my third high school for breaking into a locker stealing drug money

I wasn't even in school that day I had cut school which was normal

I was arrested by the cop that help me cut school that day

in the band the my gym locker

which I didn't even have the combination for I had no idea who he was and I sure don't want to open it because I couldn't even walk past the one that got sick

you know teenage boys in their gym uniforms they have washed up regularly

I thank

I don't know I never took a chance on with uniform was the bank but wasn't mine

anyway I

figure out what they were going to brand me as a piece so I joined the navy to see the world

follow us and went down there because they had an airforce recruiter they had

a marine recruiter the navy because the Coast Guard and navy army Air Force is let's see a high school diploma and I told him what to do

the marines says we can use good man

back later black

navy says I can have the idea that one do you want to go I system Mara this is a day after if you pass the test

the card says mmhm

now this water is lost against water pollution go out the border

and the army says don't worry about it they don't want you out get you in the end and I says well sorry

I like three squares and

please leave at night yeah three hot meals a shower once in a while

well when the navy I squeaked by the test one up to boot camp and I'll tell you what that was probably the longest time I was with that alcohol until I put the drink down it took me three days to establish a contact in boot camp to get a drink

looking

the family had rested

I want to jail walked up and kill it took me at least that most twenty four hours to be a good contact to get high

with a total of one

it got me at happy in what I want

I love the product of society because society does not like me

I went into Vietnam one of the time when I left the navy when it was time what you want the service to a new all American hero calling into becoming a hometown boy coming on American hero joining the military and I

I came out of this brand is a belt back

alcoholic baby killer because that was and spit out by unique people that I went to school but that would be our which I've made

okay

my buddy Jack Daniels and I we turn around we had a good conversation with Jack used to get nasty every now and then kick the **** out of me can I stop my old grand dad and he is taken to the same every once in awhile you know when a good holiday dinner with a bottle of wild Turkey you know the pharmacy from the mashed potatoes

well like I didn't

zero

my parents quit inviting me to dinner

in fact my parents couldn't find me to help compile

and then

it didn't matter

because they just didn't understand nobody in the store

yeah

I'm not hurting anybody

I was in the navy my sister and her three children birth to death in a house fire the oldest homes by the end of six months

I didn't have the money that you're not going to you know have I go into the bar and I sit there and I said what's the matter my sister to Katie both of that and a house fire on a man have a drink and I drink all night on that I can for thirteen years and I on my sister's death

because there was a way to get around people

waiting at all I used means that could be good a lot of people

because you people not to make

alcoholic he got his vehicle self centered around made me think I think that I was the greatest thing in this world

I had some pretty strange jobs we possess in cars that were ready for repeat repossess

other jobs like training has security alarms

I used to do all kinds of weird stuff to get high

do you want to take and be within arm's reach is America headed for the bathroom when the part because no money was mine

Anna

no one town I live in I got popular because for marijuana one time in the town would drive the same with someone

in a statement to all these kind of stuff

it just didn't matter the only thing that it was getting hot

on the line I took the land that the company that had been in business for over a hundred fifty years in the town that I will live this one at a time without sound Kentucky they can't take anybody with thank god they didn't apply for the distillery standout popular last about ten minutes

but anyway

along the line I

arrested again

be honest with you I really don't remember old times I got arrested

the one time of the arrest down in Georgia for hitchhiking I had a problem here the back of the room I was in Florida on the spending ninety days on a farm down there

I'm not making moonshine

okay

I do anything and I

I do think that I could not help anybody from my sponsor

I've done

I think that the product

thank god that I didn't

knowing the depth to which I would go to to get what I needed to be able to do what I had to do

the

wanting to come back and do what I have to do is get what I got today

global yes I am

thank god now I know what's wrong with the rest of the world

there is hope for

find more to make

more about my story they'll come out I go through the steps

in nineteen seventy one I was sent to this driving

Katie driving no longer had a drink like a gentleman kinda like school

I think it was like sixteen weeks

fifty Bucks a clip I think I don't know I'm still I'm still getting bills from

yeah

I don't know

anyway I went to that name was at the time the drinking it percentage in New Jersey with point of five

I want this thing and they told me how to drink like a gentleman

LaMotta gentleman

second of all high graduation this place is really is the last number one downside about the farmers have been down the road down here try this out

no can we go with you then enter your

we will show three comments

next morning or whenever I came to

the strange bars in front of me and I look around and there's half a class including the instructor

I think I've failed

Michael

a hundred seventy five dollars

find

what I had to pay the bond because for some reason I wound up in a fight

what an unusual

and I used to have more people success with my day

and I mean

I tried real hard to

we hear somebody would take seventy upon me and brought me to make any K.

yeah

eight people left and I said story

he said that it is

thank god

anyway I was also said that I had to go to AA meetings and get these P. W. I. car

I went to my first a a meeting I was poured into

I got my first date of the ally card

and

I tell them what they could do with a

the man next to a bullet in my next day a meeting and I got the bright idea where they got these cards to steal me stuff

I thank god that the only thing is

I mean post within our forum and I just couldn't get to

I went back to my third one

I walked in the person turned their back and I walked out the use of these IBM punch cards

and I agree with me

by

when I was seventy eight of your cards by a lot

and then into the band but he

okay during the small part of their life

I would you know on all the time I thought I was drinking and driving

the knowledgeable or having to go to a driver's license is the age of seventeen I've had a valid New Jersey drivers license I've managed to pull up

on the back of different police records and everything else for a grand total

a valid New Jersey driver's license

not counting the time that I was overseas for a grand total of two years four months and seven days

and I got seventeen VW dies on in the state of New Jersey

not counting the ones in other states

that stuff when I didn't have a license

I have many of license the side of the town board accountable the line getting the license what the hell

when I went back and read what the Connecticut

they don't have computers back then you could do to stop Iran up to Pennsylvania

the six months here six months they are non people back in thank god that never quite often

the last time that I had a drink

last time I had a license I got drunk

I got arrested

and I want this job in this judgment the name this is a crack in the morning my law judge to stand up my lawyer held me up because I was too drunk to stand out

lawyers for five years

course the cordon on and everything else

yeah more money than I know

okay

six o'clock that evening he says stand up

lawyers stood me up

by this time six

the Cuban Missile sitting there

yes my hands up

I'm sorry

with this guy let's be out here soon because man I need a drink

please

with the urine alcohol

you had a problem

why

we have to we have

we have to we have later on

two weeks to get in there

and

hated that tank

but I just don't think I do good

close to hold me and I don't like locks

and

I really don't want to take and have a girlfriend named Bob because like you know how young sweet tender and yeah hi

yeah

anyway

I want three at

Christmas day nineteen eighty four I would

I mean this is packed up you're going to

the noble I mean New Hope that here in Marlboro St on the net have

I think I identify more with the frigging nuts and they disconnected with the alcoholic on the way I walked in there and this girl comes around here stack of papers about two inches thick because I got to ask you some questions

three days since I had my last drink man don't call me so don't talk to me doubling to about

man he goes

how much do you doing

he should be here

one

he has a week and a half not one day

okay Hampton number questions give them a war

like a weak man my father in law

this guy is has a drinking problem eight five six pack of beer in the last two weeks I mean I just I had a problem he didn't know how to drink now

thank

I knew that for

anyway I wanted we had pushed a nineteen eighty four thank McManus packed up his own home my family going to get home

is anything to help me get back to park ridge New Jersey

a section one seventy two on a garden state parkway and I'm down here in

Monmouth County some damn place

if you will free all over mechanic street

he lived there for two years with the wife and kids and you got a job

all

I

at his

hello

and I got a job with great enough to hire me

you don't

the guy that he was going down a late please hi my parents dropped me off okay

I got out of the car mechanic street at the time the Stoke city USA

and I'm approaching a Georgia man that we have and I can be a break in at Cornell

this is the big deal for me at

a knock on the door

the

this call

long hair blue are

Hey

does that

Alan batteries that are you

me too this call

hi

when Smith you know my daughter is this big two years old and still in diapers

cartoon character when they cry

view his plans in the area around

black girl came with different issues come out like that

he ran from me

and I see these guys in the mail about

hello

the young man and I would have been would have been actually send them to clean the top

and he says I ate your freaking that

he's the only one hi please go

this is my fourteen year old son talking to me

his caring loving father

I mean I get my kids anything America yeah

after I finished my dear

I take my kids anywhere but the recognition might be right the one thing from after I finish my paper I never ran out of beer

my god he wished me dead

the the home on Christmas for Christmas

thanks for calling this Christmas tree gives him a Charlie Brown Christmas tree

on the **** calorie

that would we would look at the tree in Rockefeller Center compared to the one that I select

and nothing under

and my face anymore the raffle that the system there's no food in this house he the son of a **** I hate

hi

maybe Christmas George welcome home

don't these people know that I just got out of rehab and I should be all fine well and good if you people should Babb and kissed me

Hey Kate proved to be one point that I am an alcoholic and I was everything that kids said because he said something to me that really made sense he said that everything in my life to be the one up my nose down my throat in my arms and what was that a lot we went to court

following and lawyers and nothing to the family

he was right

right now we have

I am an apple

on that we have a break okay to be on a pound of pot in the years

I don't know whatever happened to I never picked it up because I was never going to drink again I said I was never going to drink again

I knew I had to make a case

my first a a meeting in earnest almost finished

Christmas day

hello can you talk about that I don't think he's got a sticker

that

thank

by the grace of god

on and on I go to a meeting tonight get this cycle battle they had idea about this

yeah

right now my wife is doing

thank you so much we should drink and that's not a bad thing I can do about it

and for the years went by

one day I went to my wife works and I said I had my products will play again I see is a safe box for players when I was in

yeah I do this for me because I do that for me but I didn't want to hear about a con

display anything that has got to stop with that woman because she's she's drunk when I get home I'm going to kill

I opened the door

analyzing your call

Mani asks for help

and

which is why I need help

while working on the political mobile services

we got a picture at the detox we have to detox and rehab

a pack of noble at this time while living on that the kind of history with living over in style hers

national boarding more breakable guide every town over there swimming is great overall dining spot you go globally police why they use a stamping and things to smile

I remember that even when

cool Hey everything else is going on for years

one point four within that we have that the tax

that is

and I want that nineteen nineties thank you god

and I meant it

that night pick back into me but I cannot do for myself I can not help

England also listed a hundred thousand million tons of prejudice and hate from me that night allow me to relax

I'm not much of a human being

with my first aid meeting we all had a nice meeting all with this prequel area hospital

and the guy sitting next to me you'll hear him in a couple months Dennis Rodman

I use this name because he uses his name in that room

I use my full name in the room for the same reason my sponsor

in case anything ever happens to me I want to be at a premium meeting and at a hospital

if you have it down in the area you need somebody to talk to my name is George Smith and my name is that number is in the book

please

finally I went to that meeting

the couple people staying at the hotel what kinds of war stories and I may have to be in a meeting I said thank god I'm not that bad this guy looked at me and he says no you're not that bad you know worse and if you don't believe you keep coming

hi

the point is not backing up about rated him with this chair will punch him I don't know what it was my head is when

medianet

and I turned around already decked his whole you know this person in this world by the end of the program here at all back to the pool

well hi I knew you were gonna make it I'm glad you're here what the hell did you do it here's a big bowl that's the truth and that you just got hit with the truth you're drinking days are

I

how do you think your your role god you've got to smile but you just want to chill I beat this guy

yeah

by the way you met them in the queue I have your what's your name

yeah my name is Joe brown

I hear how long you been so

tags

thirty eight years worth of today

hello and I said nobody's ever been sober for thirty eight years now but how long

he's a hero can

one day at a time it fell by

god gave me a

this is your sponsor

I can make money at it is

this thing

they got those chairs and plenty more I

apple at this table have data entry

pick up that big broken don't you have a party and I said I got one at home it is a I don't have enough

how many rooms are in your apartment as well we got a little room new patient rights and not

three on the federal

the name of the bathroom how many about now until I got one is that's good for the living room you better have one indication yet that I carry one on one on you at all times twenty four seven and don't you ever let me catch you on that one

okay

and if you see a big honor isn't

another wee little nest I need to sleep we marked the fifth of may

hi this

tell me about yourself two nine nine

you will buy you

and he proceeded to tell me a story

he was telling me a story

eighty nine the names dates places with different

we can backdate hell when these states were I wasn't even born

Anna

I don't like my father was born yet

the story

me

yeah I thank the aches and pains her the feeling the negativity the restoration of the spare

the one thing

the

and all that I could live with it

July and the story

I was not happy

many

thank you on the face and his body and I'm going to see tomorrow morning at the pool

Aaron had the update and by the way you better have a book to carry backdrop to the pool to

I got a big blue eyes and I got a big book and I got a twelve and while this is but the problem is twelve on the shop tell you what you're gonna take it down

so that night he also gave me a copy of the language of the heart

any abusive to me with the language of the heart that the language of the heart is to to the traditions as the big book is that is that is that the Iraqis had to

he also gave me a service manual

which in that has a legacy and it has the concept

he also gave me a little orange cool as bill sees me says this is for my reading

well

you say you will read one passage

in the morning

Hey you will read it again at nine

and see how your life compare

you've got to get to

it is all by the way and I want you to take what I want you to get a dictionary no lower than nineteen thirty five

like fifty years ago on an island on the planet is that you find it or you're going to get it wrong

morning school Himalayan going to report

I love my phone rings how we got my phone number I have no idea we just get your **** a little pool okay Sir

and I went over to the pool

is now hoping your your big ball all I left at home because well I just happen to have a spare on maybe if I knew you were going to

and he says we will now go to step three

the steps one and

did you have a new problem not there

to me I said no I don't have any problem drinking is if you have any problems while you were drinking do you ever get your **** kicked

I see here I guess alive some unmanageable only

hi here is if you have any trouble stop drinking I just all I can never stop this is like a she did step one

thank

one stop drinking

hello doing hello the only thing in life I ever succeeded at

Iraqi father Ron noble eagle rock on a rock new name and I was a lot

on a more jobs schools in every other place that I've been in

even some reporting that threw me out

check point coupons I used to drink and throw me out

but the only thing I was seated at the window when I picked up a to make a turn

four people you say I won't stop often have one or two

Hey if you want to stop and get drunk

I knew that was gonna happen

I never needed that I've missed it that was unethical I didn't understand the concept of the restaurant I didn't understand the mystery I I closed until that Christmas day when I destroyed my delivery motion only for my son told me what kind of monster that I was because I always thought I was a nice guy

nice guy that I always wanted to be

I will never be

Ronnie because I got so hot and humid thank you very much

either way on the ticket today the caffeine and sugar

for sure the caffeine I really don't like crawfish to live like a really sweet yeah

I thank you and we make