The Greenwich, CT Friday Night group in the SUNY auditorium at Purchase, NY

welcome to the

L. A. and running

my name is black and I am an alcoholic

wow look at this

fantastic I hope that you have a from using

driving on a stretcher waiting but I do I like to turn the rostrum over to doctor problem is coming from California I think

thank my name is Paul and I have a full blown out all right

I'm glad to hear

although I can always say that they're glad you anyway

I'm really amazed at the number of drunks in Greenwich so

this is a long meeting as you're aware

and we're kind of great meeting up to this point

and I Dan hi survey can't possibly have a coffee break but one thing I haven't seen a great deal

that I like to say is a lot of hugs

and I'd like to see all stand up and have the person in the row in front of you and may I enjoy this thank you

that's one thing I like about this meeting I don't

neither side but they energy the amount of energy impact a bunch it runs close together like this you always generate a lot of energy a lot of

all right all right O.

do you know if I go to the hands of all the outside like majors in

we definitely have a form

but they're all rounds in the room I know I can feel the vibration

don't be ashamed

that's enough that's enough

no Alan arms are quickly addicted there any attention you go

no I shouldn't I don't laugh at the

I used to say that our books makes very time the down on the says they are not at fault they seem to have been born that way

I decided Alan on jokes are not not good I don't make jokes and I nobody wants to see us over anymore than the almonds do so I

yeah I I had and

don't laugh I do love our

besides that we got to go to an online meeting every Monday known and I go down on and Max comes to most of the other most of my a a meeting and

I bring you greetings from our to our dogs

Lori and Sabrina no I because they can't come with us when we fly but they said to give you their regards they they come back they said they found all our meetings that come the morning

a lot of people are trying to stay sober

they have nicer personality so

no I as I say I'm glad to be here and I I like the idea of

trying to cross the country

to give a taco

on my two favorite subject

hi synonymous and me yeah

I always I always thought that I like to be famous and yeah that's fun having discovered the

treatment for some real serious

medical needs and medical problem in fact I don't think they like to travel not that I'm afraid to travel I just don't like trying to make connections in the Senate for anywhere from the telephone and my to our dogs and things like that and but I was always staff had always being willing to

ricin nor where

screen or whatever it is that came gives out the Nobel Prize in medicine

that's the least I can do is to go and accept it

is time and members and members of the movie Amadeus

the story of most times and

I don't identify with most I don't know anything about music but identified with the billing so yeah right so yeah

it was taking the hard work pretty good musicians and all he wanted out of life was to forgot to make a payment

and yeah I didn't do it instead of making him famous you made this year okay your loans are

so yeah thank you for calling lives in the beginning he attempted suicide in the stands he was in the insane asylum resting the other patients as they were waiting around

really Joe salutary crazy because then they can that's all I wanted

I forgot to make the same as I was willing to work hard all I needed to do it was to be famous it was have the answers to a few serious illnesses like maybe for diabetes or heart attacks or cancer common cold I wasn't particularly

all I needed was and for god to give me that information and yeah I know he knew those answers you could have told me and

if you give me that stuff and they made me famous and they gave me the Nobel prize I was going to give all the credit to god

I was gonna make god payments

only requirement was A. as in make me famous first

I thought it was a real bargain

I thought it was a real bargain and but it never bothered

never bothered you know no I didn't make me famous you may mean Noam

I love the way you

open your meetings with resetting the preamp I thought that was good I see that it well in that reminded me of a

fundraiser went to I think was in Colorado and

it was the second or third year that has it and beer before they has been rather successful and they had a hundred fifty people at this fundraiser

and this year they were going to try to get three hundred people the fundraising

the problem was that as the saying goes rolling along the committee that was putting it on got a resentment

you know what resentment side you have those up here

and they got checked office what they got

and they quit they decided we're going to do it

well I gave all the other people

resentment because those people had a resentment and they decide by god they can't do through us we'll put it on ourselves

yeah well we have three hundred cable

and they work real hard

and the overshot the mark and they actually had five hundred

well the problem with that was it put a strain on the

Hey who is the the food it was noon here on a Saturday and also another problem

and that the

local minister who has been invited to give the invocation

hasn't shown up

and so they went through on the old timers

Mr doesn't show up

will you give them location

well yeah yeah yeah and he said to think about what is say

well it took a while and people are getting more and more restless

and yeah well they all tireless making notes of what he was gonna read for them location if the minister didn't show up

fine you cater at the food already instead so and people want to get up and go eat food and they said no no no you can't do that you've got to wait and have them go and okay

they call the old timer up

three N. as in locations that does not

and the first word was god he said god in the audience recited the serenity prayer and ran for the food you

though the other nothing else and I remember that very invited together they location

hi Ralph all right don't bring god into it too soon

one of the things I can do the hands of everybody with what less than a year in the first year survived

that's great that's great right is that here no no matter no wonder there's so much energy in the room new comers throughout two alcoholic

I see that reminds me of another story

we live in and then they go California next door is going to be it's going to be chess parts are

and as I said really and to bring them back to our doctors

system down

Maria says it'll

we shop you say it like a poodle very shy failed vehicle information stock very friendly at first this is afraid of people and

in addition to O. S. or even smaller don

and her phone that she doesn't like other dogs

zero zero

and you know it's not very practical I have two dogs Hey my mum's the same here I mean take them for walks you assist you up all the other day neighborhood doc and interestingly enough when I two dogs gets frightened they tend to fight each other

how often that happens with access couple one remote scarce we just fighting each other and must anyway that isn't the point the story

and I heard that

the good I had a parked car and what

this is a very large area that is has a large chain link fence around it and that's the entrance it's a double chain link fence and what you do is you go in the first

you take the leases on the dock and you go through the next gate and the dogs run free

they say that it takes a leash on the dog and this is a lot of its expressiveness

and they also say that but it's true they are correct three times they get accustomed to it and they don't argue with each other anymore and they they become so I thought I'd be great we can get the stocks socialized in the socially acceptable and but I try to come in on a Sunday afternoon

drove up and here's about three dozen dogs of all sizes shapes and colors run around chasing presentation Biles and bark and each other is Brian dog doggie games I guess and and and none of Marley well let's see what happens and I went in the first grade my sister this is Austin with moderate preparation

walk through the next day when in there and those dogs that right up beside your closest they're terrified

and we walked away

white male dock about so high came out

and smelled both dogs

and walked along with

you wherever we went

the the the little white dog all right along with the

because my sister say this okay

it's okay no it's okay in the okay

who went by this one place two dogs we're running and barking and it's Jenny can run by our barking and exciting to bring her and she starts barking at them

and the little male dogs barking and two is myself thank you guys because of this lady here you know and

and after a little while he had to leave

yeah

and they were always dot way

now this two dogs and I decided that I lost the periphery of the park Thursday yes and there was a part

and every place we went

this stock went with him to just walk the perimeter if I just say that nothing else is that the focus trust and seventy okay let me okay

that's a long story you got to be a moral moral here someplace yeah

Mike tonight

and you wonder what the hell am I gotten into

you're in the middle of a people smart car yeah

here earlier your you know never need to be alone again

anything you have to go through if you ask us for enough self will be with you will walk with you on anything you have to go through

you'll never have to go through it alone and you won't have to drink over if you'll ask for enough help

any

yes my bark bark story

I'm I live in

they yeah that's interesting that I'm so glad to be I'm I just love the box on the side I love this way bye bye nothing else bye I really love you know hi

that bothers you to hear me say that check me or sponsor

response Sir can explain it to you get another sponsor

they don't have a sponsor shame on you no I love being outside I think you know like great I just I love it now that I'm in now that I've decided to let the eighteenth you story before that it was kind of a drag

but I I love being out interesting that I enjoy being out hi so much considering the fact that I wasn't even an alcoholic when I came here

I went to my

I'm here I wasn't here no judge sent me or anything I'm it was just getting a pass to come to an a a meeting but the only way I could get a pass to get off the not ward of the hospital I was on the staff of

nothing the line nothing though ask about regards to

no that's enough no that's not what they were they were ninety about

ashtrays and of making Wallace and that's about that's what was my other doctor

lecture me all the time about how she's excellent that's trying to convince me that the quality of my life would be improved if I learned how to make the other about

never made any sense to me I

and I said I've got a

I've got a well

and it's covered with the promise is certificates and licenses and papers to prove that I've been educated way beyond my level of intelligence and

I didn't I didn't understand how my life would be improved if I learned how to make the the mail

I didn't understand the philosophy

I mean does it inner spending instruction they

that was my fault that was the fall that documentation services I've always later if you don't understand he will not being said to me so I understand you I says what you're supposed to or not or after three times I was going to ask you a question

system I never have figured out I never have figured out why going to an A. NDA and anything to do with leather bound but I went when I go in the same age I went back and I made the most beautiful Fermat's this and everything for Wallace and

no I love does not

warm every chance I got a

yes ma'am I understand the concept record with them and if I

thirty seven years before

those marks and four out to the point where I couldn't return anymore and I feel bad about not bad enough to go back to making it yeah but I I guess maybe that's why Max most better rate I would go back to the very end for my seventh birthday she had my moccasins Braun

and I love my bronce mom

even though they're not nearly as comfortable anymore

I remember that I was gonna say I remember that first name is that's not true I don't remember at all I remember that they took me to one that I hadn't I don't remember where we went who trader who rather who letter for doctor anything it happens

at that meeting but I never had a profound effect

a psychiatrist

he was very interested I mean he you know I'm I got him right now he really paid attention to me one of what was the main like what other kind me so they have what's this about twelve step by the book you go to news when you're going to go again I I thought my god

I've got me an alcoholic psychiatrist

he's a shame to go so you're sending me

and that was the only reason I want to go to meetings you know brownie points to get discharged

was there anything I could and finally did get my dispatch button and I had no intentions of continue go back why would I know I know all right

the problem wasn't Max five day a meeting

but once I found that she liked him I decided when they go anymore but if you did wouldn't behave right I just I'm not going to go to a anymore

and who's your stuff is going down on

well I did it once too often and you got in the car I can go down we're going to want me five self when and then I can't get on the freeway way but humans we went in by herself

yeah we tried that never drive home on a Saturday night drinking by your non alcoholic spouses on wrapping it up in a meeting

boring

I had to go back to the main

about

most of our drive in anything

I would be embarrassed about forgot

one night I found myself laughing room

and I have another drink sent

however it's seven months

but the one way too many

that last meeting that I had a very mild

very mild case about policy

hi Carl

I

this is against everything I'd ever been hot I always I always understood is you got alcoholism by drinking alcohol

in bar

you get drunk drinking alcohol you don't get alcoholism

the alcoholism from now hi

you know alcoholics in the barn

zero meaning

and I don't want to put those in

yeah

in the bar sometimes

they won't find any alcoholics in the bars are all in a meeting

no I don't get out is it for now

M. as a virus

goes into your ears

thank your brain

well I I I was very mild case right right

very much okay so it's almost almost not an alcoholic I mean

this about this very

hi

not that I had to go back to me

and the cover is going back to the knees I kept getting reinvested in winter

right I'm much much much much much much more alcoholic than I was twenty six years ago and

Hey Hey it's a progressive disease by god it is

nice try about that it is not I have progressive diseases and progressive recovery

and and then if they make everything getting better and better and better all the time to

so I'm much more on like that was if you're a new here tonight you're not alcoholic you would be very very carefully around

yeah you're you're not

what you listen to me

your mind wide open wide open so whatever goes in goes right on through

and if you think you caught it don't turn to the person next to you so you know I think that might be an alcoholic

yeah they they got a price for every new member or something is

the best part about one bad part about me turning into my mouth like I noticed that there are

well winters there people they A. who drinking people don't think and it seems that it wants to go straight to the ones they have a lot of fun

and I want to be one of the non drinking

but that they created a problem because that meant I needed to quit thank you

I've never had a slip I want to know that I've never had it so I thought it much simpler to just keep on drinking between meetings

ram doesn't work as well when you drink between meetings but I was in that one out all right so what's the difference but

I'm a very mild hi I need to

problem was every time everything else

every time every time I quit drinking I ended up

and I thought you know this quitting drinking is really hard on my health and I

yeah I did and I wanted to not drink but I was afraid to quit

I remember some of that stupid stuff but I've been hearing for

seven months this the first drink this just keeps on going

brilliant things like if you don't drink today you won't get drunk today and

we don't quit drinking we just don't take one drink for one day well they you know that's the kind of stuff yourself dummies from his growing media you don't sell out to a doctor for gun thank

I don't know what else to do so I thought I knew what I do I just well I won't tell anybody I would tell anybody but I won't drink today and see what happens

no

try another day you know

no

today is a very important day for me today is that I don't

they said I don't know I never drink on Friday and

today is a very important I don't think I don't think today tomorrow in fact I'm

pretty sure I wouldn't be able to not drink today if I didn't know I was going to great tomorrow

doing tomorrow

let's check the time and the rest today I won't drink today

welcome back then

we know where you are yeah

yeah actually longer over these things over there that is doing the steps and having to sponsor one meeting read about in

I read on the steps and resend all the sets

for me last time was last December I got a hold of

bunch of questions and then the address questions from down in Texas for people to get together and form a group and stay together for twenty minutes and twenty needing and studied the percentage for patients up and come and when they came to step into the staff was not a stuff started to step through it and we made it into a password and make the best available and I'm group went through that this last December and it's been such a

S. as in the state when you get a group together specifically and once you get into group and I'm not to drop out even when you get to the fifth step you can't drop out

and and other people can't join because it's not a real person meeting specifically for this purpose and that's a form of intimacy you got that and living through that experience you don't Cher the steps that you share the experience of taking up the steps on yeah this is you know if we're still meeting every week just to keep up with each other and there was a bit previous week with like and if they haven't gone through the steps recently you might the it's all screwed up and you don't know what to do you might decide to do the steps over again that's what I've done so far I guess I was saying was in my twenties and be twenty seven years and through live July thirty first I've gone through the steps in that sense an average of every five years and it's worked very well for me and

I love the staff and I know all of my other than the first half I love the powerlessness so often I find that the same when I'm all screwed up really all screwed up something but I find out is that the reason I'm all screwed up this is saying I'm working on something over which I'm really proud of us when I tried to change somebody else's attitude

that's a real singer

especially if they go to Alan on the

one of the most common problems I see is an alcoholic all screwed up in a relationship with another off all right and you said yes they go to Alan on and then sold it to

and but when I find out I'm harmless

you know what that tells me what I need to do

yeah this is nothing do you stop the struggling go on the part of the system I love the third step during my work my life for the Kerr Vance couple two years ago I found out I had cancer cancer the prostate they decided they had to drop my prostate out and I thank god my answer and that's surgery with major surgery

yeah minor surgery surgery somebody else ten

N. I. I. G. I yeah I maybe I don't know what

all right

well

yes no it's a matter of fact I remember during my will and my life over the Kerr of god

and it seems to me my health is included in my life

I don't have a problem he's got a problem

yeah I was going to handle it

and I know that he knew that I knew that he had the power

yeah user but I needed to know that when I turned it over I was just anybody and just not think about it anymore I was I took the third step I took on my knees with front of my sponsor

that wasn't enough

I read the side in the third step and the third step prior in front of each of my and then three home groups but I figured we're making a contract and the more witnesses may have the harder it is going to be for him to resend this contract

yeah that's that's not enough

and I went down to

this is supply store

and I bought a blank form for setting up a limited partnership

and I filled it out and I gave my higher power

rescue one percent controlling interest in my life

women she says I mean

anyway that's not enough

all right shows is that there is a contract I mean there's a partnership but it doesn't give the terms of the partnership

so I had to draw up the terms of the partnership what that means is who's responsible for what in this relationship I wrote down all out and what it actually and then they're set

my heart is in charge of

right and I'm in charge of work

this is in charge of worry and I'm trying to work and and he doesn't even like mainstream and maybe even help him

with the right

and he and he never does a damn bit of the work yeah

N. as in the fact that I went through the surgery I just out of the office he's got a pretty good reputation I'll see if we can live up to it and I just laid back and experience experience in that went fine I enjoyed that

anybody interested I'll show you my star after Z.

no cents over the program I don't have any problems today the stance over the idea of stands over doesn't drink doesn't even come up

my my problem is I have a tool problem I have is a drinking problem I had a drinking problem and still my number one problem I know that you agree weren't mine after the meeting Hey this is the problem as my phone on my phone today I related to my thinking in fact my sponsors estimate bosses don't drink and don't think

bye guys today in any problem any

every problem anytime I have today is a thinking problem

I don't even have a problem today unless I think I do

I don't determine whether or not I have a problem

I have a problem doesn't matter what you think I've got a problem

I don't think I have a problem doesn't matter what you think well I don't know

Friday is the big problem is a big problem but it is a little problem little problem

don't have a little problem

don't bother with him like the resentments I don't bother with any but the justifiable in my mind is like energy factory without energy and it it it's it's like a put that this is tremendous amount of energy it puts it out by strong laser beam

or search site

yeah they searching through the dark looking for a problem there is one in my name and I might not even be monitored that's an interesting

for a little while you know

your source I can ultraviolet light it makes sense things grow yeah thank you I can just take a little problem and just think about what you're grown

I mean this is start out with her problem I mean thanks to our non problem that way yeah that's no problem

well I suppose if you thought about it nothing

and you know the more the more interesting in becoming

reason I'm fascinated by it I think my god it's a good thing I'm looking at this

everybody else is missing

help you much of a problem like that they don't think about it

what kind of a problem with it being you weren't thinking about it you know

I mean it says so where it's not worth having the the problem is that

my biggest problem with problems is that they have such a high infant mortality

and problems refused to be neglected you just you can't leave your powers thank this time at all you have to stay right there with them

never had a problem that is so fascinating that you

thank

that night

the nice meeting that you're going to be there no no I've got to stay home and work on this problem

you know you go to waste your time at that meeting by time you come back I think I have the will to down to the point

you may not even be able to bring it back you know

ruins a lot of my problem

yeah that we live in a seven one four area everybody everybody in Orange County this and so on for an I. phone numbers to forty thirty nine forty give it out online because I'll be there working on one of my problems and it will come up with the problem persists no worries biggest my problem but

but in order to get interested in their problem I have to focus on their problem and they have my problem and so we're now talking and they're talking from and in the problem and I'm in the program

and it makes it so much different than Terry on the conversation and and it's fun working with people like that things like that and then may I time I get back I found my problem Connelly is gotten through you cause bother somebody else is that right they do not like to waste time on people are gonna say well they'll go find somebody give me attention they want bye guys

what show television by clicking all the channels in the one that was thinking by Robert Schuller and he said something to the fact that he says we don't solve our problems we just tire of the men who run and and I thank god that's a lot of what happens to my

Hey how I and then I said I found with promises I'm thinking about this I don't know how you think thanks bye I thank by somebody talking to me they talking to me the talks female comes on its own was I was born I guess they got talked to his voice talking to you talking to

some some doctors so

so I don't know if I'm saying they're toppings on

John the morning I wake up my day is ruined from what they've been telling me is

so I got interested in morning meetings and I get my mind straight down therefore I got him at the meeting this morning great may god church down there and that maybe should all vendor you missed it

go tomorrow morning next morning at no I I I I love morning meetings to get my mind straight out because I had to get rid of all this color of talking and in fact I noticed that there any thing to drink in hand I'm glad because I have been I I used to have to use alcohol and drugs to

people in my head get them calm down and you can go to sleep so like it's like and then in the morning I have to check if you amphetamines I suppose some of you may have heard of them

in order to get it and they they they were

our little adept to impediments in the

I don't know that I would have had the stamina to teach you have completed my pre a a training period

that they did in fact my voice in my hearing somebody couldn't hear what I can listen to the right thing

we've already three times I don't know just something you know

yeah I I used to have to get them we get them say so I could be awake and I'm saving this and I had to learn to live with them all this time

now I mean you're saying that you're very quiet there apparently she's talking

they they make suggestions of what I ought to talk about with

but that but they do then they get the fighting between themselves

right no no no no

not sure about that you know

and they all showed up and I can't think of anything to say

and it's the same way that I drink caffeine at the meeting and that and I would go after the meeting on that my body was lying down because they my branches no less

or wow yeah

no it was about three thirty in the morning they'll say Hey we got we need to talk to you yeah

you can also

wasn't like that at all they're really mad at you yeah

yeah I don't don't know that crap and I rolled over to go back to sleep

and just as I'm about to lose consciousness out thanks bye I'm sure glad I'm not thinking about that anymore

I'm glad you're still awake you know that's

that's not the only time you did that down for years and six months ago he did the same thing you're done I don't think you've done this then the rest of the night

and the rest of the night making lists of dumb things you have done

I think I had to get along with most people out there so I can get along well with people in my hand I found that's just the opposite I have to get along well with people in a business that's ready to go up and all those things and helped me along with the people in my head and then I get along well with them out there serving versus like so many things and they everything's the reverse of what I always start with and I had to get comfortable with people inside

the same way with the business of there's a large part of the committee that the C. maybe depress

depression is always been one of my favorite movies

hello Preston is

yes life down so much you know yeah Trujillo I'm depressed you know

very simple but I found out and then pression insomnia the defects of character I have you on the working on the defect

they're working on that

and I'm gonna ask god to help me with

I don't find that in my book

I'm doesn't say anything about me working on my defect

my mom says I'm calling for my D. fax it back

I don't know that means I'm on the right track for the wrong

I decided I'm house or my defect is not up to me correct and I spend all my life trying to be a better person did was drive me to drink and now I decided to I think the question presence or it's on their fear what is your when you I I I I remember taking the seven seven telling my higher power I would like you to take this defect and I like to completely remove it

has a bad effect on my personality is certain is the fact that my personality I like to remove the entire

now I know you have that business about except when to accept when it useful to you or to my fellow elves

no that is a massively big loophole

yeah I said I know you've got that loophole

but I would like for you to do whatever you want to do it once you check on my did take all of my depression take it all tonight fine

and in the morning you give me back the amount of if you want me to have

and and I will accept it from U. S. A. yeah

the depression the fear whatever and yeah you give me back the amount you want me to have and I'll accept it again and said I make an effort to become friendly with my defect

I guess I've role sixty two don't take yourself so damn seriously it's all a part of it up in fact I remember reading some toilet was talking about

the fax and he called demons

he said hunger DeMint

how's your demon otherwise it'll bite you in the address

I I didn't say that I don't I don't use that kind of language

you know these bullets are

do you come from that with your defect because I find if I'm finding my defect I'm fighting myself