The Mouth of the Brazos Conference in Lake Jackson, TX

I am not I'm recovered alcoholic

it is November thirteenth eighty seven I haven't that

I haven't drank anything and that's a miracle forgot it couldn't couldn't not but not many bottom to mess him up and that's pretty a pretty amazing thing it's good to see so many people in here I I know a bunch of young here at another bunch of E. for years it's good to see yeah but to make some new friends lacks a couple of days and it's good to see all the little workshop this afternoon some not even came back tonight that's a that's a pretty cool thing

yes in this code to not take it off okay Hey

well hot hot we take a few more things without telling me to tell you the warm up here and I'll

it's not a big baby by stand that body stand up and get my good buddy right here like if we could see how big he is

many do you want to give me a hard time tonight after I talk

I'm honored to be here I needed to thank my fever for asking me to come out here hearing this quite nicely for me give me direction the whole bit I mean it was the best to get a clean of notice I speak a lot and it's it's got to be real hassle these days especially since nine eleven traveled a bear anywhere for anybody give me some advance notice on these things are allowed to try to do whatever I can do about how it's anonymous or cocaine anonymous as we speak I mean I'm I'm usually there but it's got to be quite difficult for me I stay pretty booked up in hour I thank you for thinking ahead of time enough to to to ask people quite a big that they call we have a conference next week you can become part and then they get it they get mad because it yeah because you can't you know because you were booked up and so blessed for doing that and Mike my host staff took at the dinner party killed me tonight and I don't know

I ate too much as always I don't seem to be able to stay away from the food so what can I say thank you so much I

everybody was in that count down all you cats that were picking up stand up with with multiple years I want to personally thank you from the very bottom of my heart at the very beginning of this talk for staying in this fellowship I thank you for coming and getting sober and continuing to stay in the trenches and helping us to help others get sober truly we have a lot of newcomer stand that pose a lot of a very young sobriety in this room and I am very grateful you're that you're here I'm not one of those that believe that you're the most important person here

hi I'm the most important person here

thanks I yeah you're right by the way I mean let's face it I mean we need the newcomers to have people with the Bob Roberts of someone's gonna be right to carry the message and when I got the alcoholics anonymous in nineteen eighty seven there was a bunch of old timers they are carrying the message to me at all times have been there I did not it's just as simple as that I mean this this is how this messages transfer transmitted from one alcoholic to another alcoholic and that's that's exactly what we do in this fellowship and so I think sometimes we trivialize our importance in this fellowship I think we have people around that are groups that well what can I do I'm only one person I how can I help anybody out that's not your that's not your problem worry about that your problem is to show up and carry the message do what you're supposed to do you know if I if I was I was worried about about making the fields grow your job is just the just the provident bank that'll take you to the right dealtaker germinating the seeds your you did with this policy will do what you're supposed to do and that's exactly what I think well a lot of this talk is going to be about a lot of myself every time I I speak I think I need to give you about a ten second disclaimer I

I work at a treatment center I do clerical work in a treatment center I'm not here representing that treatment center and I and I and I've been in Alcoholics Anonymous around the fellowship for about twenty some odd years now twenty three years now and I need to tell you that I'm fourteen years sober this will take kind of where I'm coming from and I'm not representing Alcoholics Anonymous anyway and this is not my twelve step work I cast I do this isn't on honor an absolute honor to get to participate in this in this conference in and spend some time with you guys talking about the solution but my post it works the same thing as your twelve step work we sit down across the table from another alcoholic and open the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and helping with the literature that's that's my job same is that your job you follow that run the gurus in this in this business here folks and how some of you guys you know you want to put me up on this pedestal units Chris Remo Chris you know my abrasive and this has a tendency to crack certain alcoholics you know I have it I will have a tendency to to be able to reach certain people that have difficulty being reached but I'm gonna tell you something about everybody in here is supposed to reach somebody and if you're not in the trenches help in there somebody gonna die that's the bottom line for for every laptop battery like me yet and somebody needs to be some quiet very gentle person over here and that that's how this all balances out so I wanted to know everyone of you and I know that god's going to use every single one of us in the scholarship and if you don't think that's a trait that you're that you're stupid arrogance there you go

I need I need to mention a couple things real quick before I go into I have a tendency to because sometimes I'm on try real hard not to do that I did fairly well this afternoon in that and I'll try to do that well tonight I I would would like to do that I believe it is not a part of my fellowship at the cuts but

I'm gonna fail miserably at it anyway so what the hell

I'm entirely the best I can do

I

I come I come with this thing with a with a certain amount of a passion Alcoholics Anonymous was the last house on the block for me I got sober in a a I didn't get sober in a treatment center I went to treatment I I went to therapy I did a lot of things I I I I said not mid shakes teepees and that Blix crystals in that a lot of things that trying to get well

I've been laughed and poked and prodded and I've ever had every

colonic nearly work I needed

I mean it was really because when I got this personal experience a long time I

I didn't

rather clean after

I did a lot of things gets over to some of the stuff I want to talk to you guys about but that eventually what happened was I ended up back in Alcoholics Anonymous and I went in a room full of people that Love Me enough to finally tell me the truth and that's what that's what I wanted that's what I want to talk to you about I'm passionate about recovery and I and a lot of people out there on the circuit they're equally as passion about recovery it's just that it's just that you're going to see from the perspective that I came from C. it's it's like I'm not talking to a bunch of book knowledge appear I'm talking from some absolute experience I know what it's like I know what it's like to nearly die from alcoholism out there when I got this fellowship I weigh about forty pounds more than I weigh now and I had kidney damage liver damage and and this is still debatable about the brain damage but there's a lot when I was I was a mess when I got here my finances were in disarray and I was living a little apartment by myself because nobody want to be around me and that was not a happy camper I'll take about seven pills a day just to stay alive and if they have the presence like they were candy just talk just to try to keep levels yup yup all what I'm saying and it was I was not I mean suicide was a daily fought for me and so I know what it's like to be out there hurting want to get better and then and then I walked in the door is not always an honest and things got worse because the one because the one thing that was going to get it making me feel okay give me a sense of ease and comfort which was alcohol related to drugs now you're telling me I can't have is like

this is what a what a cool thing to say is you know I just this is really great one bit of time I'm going to die this is exactly what I'm gonna do and then

I tried to get sober I was up in North Texas and then I'm gonna talk a little bit about this but I'm I need to get this out of way right off the bat so that I can relax a little bit because because some of the stuff I talk about a little controversy as is anybody every introduces me all because you know he's I mean people come up after the workshop where you pissed about this effort you know I don't I nothing I say

can make you can can do that I mean I I don't I don't have the power to make you angry if it doesn't if with what I say then job with what you believe then you let it go in one ear and out the other that's what I have to do I said the meeting with you and listen you tell your stupid war stories and automatically let it go in one of the other you can do the same thing here and then next week when is your medical bills if you're trying to come up here you can tell how god saved you one day at a time when that and everybody will broaden that we go on about our way yeah with me I understand you don't have to agree with me this is my story maybe not be your story

I tell you

I think a bunch of you can identify with what I'm fixing to say

all of the almost a controversial tonight is this two things

I don't think means a place to share your stupid war stories

because the books said it's exactly opposite meanings are a place to share your experience strength and hope

and I don't think means a place to share your stupid

addict problems

because the book says exactly opposite

we're supposed to be sure and hope with a newcomer

sell

I need to speak a lot fortunate to get through I hate to do this it's torture for me as as a Patty earlier in his life he said what's what what's wrong that's anybody's around me my could say this what's what's what's you seem so what's new I hate to do this because that's I'm sure I'm a bit shy as can be now see me out there I don't have anything to say I don't know what to do I'm I'm self conscious

I was checking my zipper I'm

a check of my pads make should I just I don't like to do this is to public for me about five minutes after this is over I'll be away from everybody relax and everything will be cool somebody else will call and ask me to speak it out I guess I'll go do it you know it when when when

no matter where I'm at I talk about basically the same thing those two things I just talked about why because it almost cost me my life in this fellowship because I couldn't stay in these rooms and listen to this crap and so on top of this and everybody's laughing everybody's pets carpenter has a yeah I don't because I don't

I get is you know yeah we agree and then when they look around like like like like

and the reason they do they do it again

if I talk I don't think for a second I think what I'm gonna do here is try to talk you into believing the way I believe I'm just like this is my experience my experience is working at a treatment center for the last nine years and watching thousands died the R. hospital three about a thousand people a year watching thousands of people come to the hospital having the same kind of experience I had the problem so you've never been to get alcoholics to eighty eight we've got some great P. our work out there we got some great word of mouth because it's the only game in town that worked out for the numbers whatsoever that drugs out there give our that our sister fellowships in the comics anonymous and cocaine anonymous they're having the same kind of what it's the only game in town let's work it and so we don't have any problem getting people to come to our fellowship but once we get in here

the job becomes a little dicey because what we what we have to do is figure out how to keep him here

relapses are rampant our success rates suck

and everybody I think need to pick up a piece of the responsibility for this

make a point someone could back in the box it was his fault it's been a positive note I tell you what the problem is the problem as our finance I'm needing formats have gotten

just not in the dirt because nobody wants to change anything three what what traditions back up and tell us that each group the Thomas and if that was not working in your group and you can't keep members changes your problems I had we got groups in Austin Texas right now we've got a buddy of mine is on the on the steering committee they went in there and there's this huge group that had dozens of meetings a week they were all open discussion meetings and he went and one business meeting went and got a nearly half of the meetings changed to literature based meetings what we're gonna talk about god the steps how cool is that

one one one buckaroo Brock said new years what is the steering committee meeting of the one of the largest group that Austin against and instituted a budget change but I was looking for somebody else to do it

I'm asking the patients as they come to our hospital but it

I couldn't stay in a I mean it shows right here you and I appreciate you know then you probably didn't stay

everyone said the same thing I'll talk about this for years from the podium folks there's nothing everybody says the same thing I cannot cannot stand stupid war stories

and when we finish with your worst stories we're gonna go to your stupid problems

and see how this makes you uncomfortable I'm not speaking for many Brits about top I'm a dog lover intermediate always surprises but I'm just having a bad day I just need to share with you a few minutes how many times I've done it again

but I'm just saying it's not what you didn't do that the cats in Alcoholics Anonymous didn't do that there's a lot of the book it says we're gonna set aside one night a week for the newcomer can come with our problems I think that's a great idea let's do that let's make Thursday night a night that the piss and moan you can come to the meeting and everybody just complain about what's going on and then finally we can come back and start talking about the power of god we can start coming back and talking about the spiritual experience faith because that's what we need to do

thirteen years ago as a result of a bunch of people telling me what to do

not suggesting anything telling me what to do

I have been called a spiritual experience and a desire to drink left and had returned since

I haven't had a duty cocaine hadn't had a drink any alcohol had had to do anything stupid along those lines and I gotta tell you I got a blessed life today that's where my passion comes from I want you to have the same thing in my life yes everybody wants to let everybody

well I took the battery out of the meeting that happened where would come through the second thank you Bob rob version had mixed and if you have your way back to the back of

hi well I gotta go do it tonight I just got to go do it you know I got about three young man I gotta go straight

you'll be right

because I'm not thanks for coming to share life but I just like to take exception with something to say

every every time I've ever spoke

all right

what what did you not like

well after all I mean we're not gonna be happy joyous and free

all I see

print I see Mister Mister sanctimonious I know it all okay I see

Mr I'm god I think I know what everybody's going to have a hole either stand why not because my books as we promises to be happy joyous and free my my my book says you're gonna get connected to some more power than you have been connected to your lot Polish power guys what the powers of the limits of on page forty five how you gonna get some power we're gonna work the steps then when you get connected this power you're not only have part of the deal with alcoholism drug addiction piece that stop which also have some power to deal with how about relationships how about money well how about the creative life how much of the cool stuff out there that we were promised that we get the big I think that's all that this program was about this program was about getting people connected the power

but that's not what I was told when I got to this fellowship and this is what everybody wants to take exception with you what you want to make sure that everybody understands your god given right to come into my meetings and don't do anything on the table that you wanted them

well it's not

if you want to do it do it but don't disguise it and think it's right because it's not look at the archives copyright Thomas read the literature tell you directly what the date

what is your war stories spoke we talked about in today's the workshop will be able to share war stories

only time

alright is they got it Eddie comes in season rival anybody and he comes out please do that and that's what I do every shares a few war stories with bill Wilson and it gets a little confidence and Abby and bill right and if you set the hook and tell him about finding god and bill Wilson does does the same thing with doctor Bob they ship the war story telling of the story is terribly war stories but that's about gets comfortable you just bought this guy really knows his stuff and what is building he sets the hook

he talks about god and the steps big

well they do without part number three

hello five read the archives look at the stop sign thing with you guys what we do is that we do it every meeting a new cover comes in and of always going to here's the war stories and it's cool if you could identify what happens if you can't identify I told was a thousand times I look at my look at look at baby right here and she's a business woman and she's a professional woman and I'm gonna come into this meeting right and we're all set now this table and I'm a teller in nineteen seventy six I called in dumpsters in Houston Texas to get my dinner

now there's a couple of you to call the doctor to get your dinner and you could identify with that story what about poor baby here she can't she can't identify with that

if I was talking about the the the the disease of alcoholism the physical allergy the mental obsession and especially the spirituality she could identify what are going to get time to talk about that because we're too busy telling adventure stories that's why she can't stay in a meeting in that right we we got to stop you can use your brains folks why would you walk up to a professional and start telling your stupid scary stories that's why we don't keep the young adults in our meetings

because you think that's all you have is your story

I'm not talking about for the podium tonight from the podium I'm going to share some more stories with you did share some stories Merion star shared some stories that's what we're supposed to be from the podium but I'm talking about in the fighting that discussion meeting why don't you talk about god the steps and help somebody have a better day instead of trying to scare him into sobriety

I last time I looked it was no chapter in the back of the book called into scare

there is a chapter called into action which happens to be the theme of this conference in the action what a great topic

nineteen eighty I'll tell you real quick I'm in the food business

informing them the most read please thank

just kidding

I'm a try some of that to my next relapse sometimes they didn't have that when I got sober

thanks enough I was in the food business for years and I grew up in the hill country yeah yeah because we're merry lives in depth I wrote I was raised around Karbala now with the high school down there and then we started drinking the the year of it bill Wilson died the we're the year in a month to the day January nineteen seventy one he passed away there was a co founder about talks on us and that's the month that I started drinking how apropos you know and it's amazing thing I put out part of my body it was a breeze farm apple wine so we are familiar with that

yeah yeah you like that

make that step but to make this a

I think they they they manufacture over here at Dow I think it's really made

I think the big plan over there with the death

a guy do you have a drag it is nasty things that like like a hummingbird Jews just rolled

it's like sugar with a kick in and so I'm not going to find out what I was thinking what if I got anything he said he took a swig Atticus waited we spread it out as well that's terrible they would look at me well that's terrible he looked at me for a few seconds and I took another swig and held it down he's not hand the ball to him he's like this is it no at that pace like I'm not touching it

and he's walking back across the field with like ten o'clock at night he's walking across the field and and I said what does

good morning this is that what you're saying

really if I had my blood stream and I finished the bottle say given sufficient reason it tastes like crap can you stay away from it not me because when I put in my body pays the bad guys and I didn't enjoy the drink it a bit but I enjoyed the way it made me feel big that's what separates us guys there's people in this room they're not alcoholic and addict they cannot understand what I'm saying the people in this room the route but it understands that the what I'm saying I'm not drinking the stuff because I like the taste I'm doing it because I like the way it makes me feel US but the bottom line I didn't do the same stupid stuff for eighteen years folks what brought cardinals doctors in Houston Texas I look at myself in the mirror with tears in my eyes is that I'm never going to do that again how humiliating was that

I did it again I caught myself a couple weeks later one funds with a map of liquor but not about for food

so I start compromising myself and I did it for eighteen years and everybody in this room that you stayed with people which I hated but check with your state relationship longer than needed to based on yes yes you stay in jobs jaded yes we still do it today guys we continue to put ourselves in situations so that we can feel okay inside and that's what I've always been drug addictions about and that's what we have to see clearly it's got nothing to do with the drama on the outside of your life

I think I look at life like this guy I look at life not the way it is I look at life right I am inside P. okay I'll get down with that I don't look

I can look at this right here and all of you and I can ask you how you see me right now right with a few of usage based on based on our database and a sub which date will depend on what what your perception of me is going to be different than the person sitting next to you because you're different inside if you follow what I'm saying and so what we need to understand is that's what life is all about I'm job is to try to change your insides not change your outside

look at that let me give you another example I use is a thousand times how do you guys ever walked to Walmart

and then on and been up a little spiritually bankrupt

which means you're driving your faith

right you can get out you push the cart you push it the last lady information moving a little too slow your thinking if I had a gun

you know you wanna get ramming speed then then then then then because you know the kids are screaming the guardian that's and hiking to control is what it would mean that you just some of that having trouble getting some of the top shelf you just storage just ride it out

strong itself you know it's like you just got okay and then the next day you go back in there and it's like a little different you know you just you saw something on the parking lot you picked up the trash and you push it away if you want to know everything you know birds tweet but you

everything's good to me somebody's having problems where you help on the street absolutely they're interested in the most charming aged fifteen on the just just talking and visit that's the difference what changed well it didn't change did it change the internal condition change with that right

it's already inside that counts folks

well I just set the trap everybody is very

Chris really really okay

then why is it that we have to do in our meetings this junior therapy session every time we come to a meeting

trying to figure out what's wrong with your outside so that we can change that so you can be okay inside

I cannot tell you how many times the cats come to treatment and the first thing they want to do is tell us what they got wrong

I don't know because I went back to that woman I got because I didn't go back to that woman big I got done because I make too much money we had a guy who just won the lottery a few months ago he didn't he got got got loaded again after peers by because he won the lottery

they got done because didn't have enough money to pay the bills well let's see here too much money you have enough money at all this guy's a great relationship everything got too good I just sabotage myself feel success that so much horse crap that's not even funny

for

we should not meetings with only want to talk about that's all we want to talk about

the problem of the day here's what he said here's what you say no problem young about the I've heard a thousand times well you know what happens if you come in this week with the problem and you leave you can leave with the same problem if you don't talk about it what

we're telling the newcomer that if they could manage well and cannot have any problems

the space over

it's a crying shame folks because let me tell you something right they gonna do you great everyday and this belief everything if everything's good I can stay sober and if everything's bad I'll get drunk

yeah that right you know what the parameters have been doing for years with us it is that they don't you don't do anything that would cause you to think about drinking because you might do it tell you what my books my books so that we've lost the ability to choose what we're gonna do this or not Maddox says I don't have the ability to remember the consequences of even a week or a month ago much less remember your stupid war stories all I'm saying that's what people get beat up guys and get another one

that's what topic of services is called pick up your kids you you Dodge that bullet and then you go back again you're not choosing to do that

I hear people from the podium all the time thanks to god I got it this morning and chose not to break you better re read this book because my book says you have lost the ability to choose what you're going to do it or not if you could choose not to do it just don't do it

god I can choose not to do it today approved a thousand times I can choose not to do it for several months

and then there comes a day when I get caught with a book called a mental blank spot you just pick up

because I never recovered I never recovered from alcoholism all I did was screw up everything I had to put it all together and say that I'm not going to drink it just add up yes your anger sometimes just you're just I'll show you I've states over periods of time

always

always followed by relapse

US

okay here we go can I will keep it for very long

so I went back in a meeting that the relapse everybody wants to be tried taken ten to keep coming back and everything will be okay

and then we will talk about the problem some more shopping more stories and then we wonder why we can't stay sober

and believable unbelievable

I think that's right in nineteen forty one were seventy five million hundred percent parts of the country

success rate right now the United States best case scenario is twenty percent

I think it's sixty seven years of tech a perfectly wonderful programs like Alcoholics Anonymous and drop in the toilet

why because everybody's got their own little idea about what causes alcoholic to drink out of them is a disease folks drink because genetically you're wired that way

I got a ride

that's what the book says that's what the literature says that's what all of our all of our dance knowledge today points to genetics

genetics I got a difficult point road it's just like me folks he's an alcoholic just like me I think

no he didn't wear a patch on the other

every time I get here

no I got a little sister the two year agreement younger than me never had a problem and all state but what we did for years what I did with three of my father was an alcoholic and he passed on the genetic predisposition I'm not my mom she drinks tonight she's she had one glass of wine that we talk about it this afternoon she drinks one glass was she decided she didn't want it then she didn't like it no big deal I've watched her leave out called the

one Christmas

my brother was with my brother he's he's he's got a lot of money and he bought her mom brings data which group that we don't have young guns make down you know it's been stopped getting

but my body might not my my nephews not my brother lives in the nephew one of those high dollar bottle of vino for Christmas and and that was all a champagne stuff and she she opened it up for Christmas and she poured it made the most sense for everybody that we call the orange juice that rabbit okay maybe Moses and and as I watch what she didn't support it thank

the group detailed set it down and yes lost good good stuff huh he says now

it it just takes a bit off

I know it's like we left it

she said

thank you yeah she said when she looked at me like I was crazy of course not given sufficient reason it takes a little bad act can you leave it alone

come on guys how many of the other party

yeah that's going to be put in the budget started to pay a penny has

depending on the pantyhose

we can do this because it's a good makes a great taste no because we're taught by I'm I'm not addicted I'm not addicted to lone star beer I'm addicted to the alcohol but in the Lone Star beer you can't you see I don't care what it tastes like I don't care if it's hot or cold what color it is if it makes me feel okay inside I'm going to drink it yes

it is far better for the right to fix the almost extinct now because they put on is not on this television this Discovery Channel about the bill could you get with this problem and and get get get high volume sales and so everybody down there when you swap they were flooded with people down and they're making these

yeah where can I get some of those this is

you see what I'm saying they're watching television with with with that with so many people and they look around like four hundred why would anybody I mean did you just see the look in the

because we look at that for

I got a disease a disease

because spiritually inside I'm bankrupt this is the pay off when you look in a fog are you drinking the wine whatever you're doing put in your body right the pay off is it treats is in top condition call the spiritual malady and that's why I do it the big book uses this big book describes the spirituality of this dice il the restless and discontent are you out of here can you verify with your mobile revels in discontent and dies it had nothing to do with how much money you got a problem I've set my house

I have million dollar house with a bottle of lemon your roommate group brand new sports car in a parking lot the restless and discontent like nothing to do with my external world all in Parnell yes

yeah

what a symptom of spirituality about depression

anxiety no sense of direction trouble in personal relationships on page fifty two it talks about trouble making eleven that doesn't make any money what do you do with that money hi yeah your your your credit cards are maxed out you're bouncing checks you make a million dollars which can't manage the money what's up with this this is spiritual malady and this is why we drink this is why we drink because when I put that stuff in my body it fixes instantly what's wrong with me you can't live in that condition so you come to meetings during which we draw you out physically there's nothing to trigger yet now what you gonna do

and now you're gonna hear grind your teeth until the pain of staying sober Radley outweigh the benefits and then you're going to go pick up by your girlfriend if you're like me the present excuse to go get drunk so you can feel comfortable inside think that guys yeah calling birds not the problem it's not Christmas problem of course Christmas solution

are you gotta treat this internal condition how you treat it we understood their roles understood in sixty seven years ago they understood god's gonna treated brutally treated on Donald treated

we stopped working

let's try god

clear undiluted message

but I'll tell you guys if parts of this country you consent meeting for six months and never hear it

you can fit me in for six months and never hear anybody say that you can recover from alcoholism drug addiction

will always be recovering

that's not what my book says my book says that the desire to drink will be lifted from me

here's the cold fact that pain to see him if I'm always sick

but what you're telling me is

today I can say so because things are going good what happens when Patty breaks up with me next week

a killer after that

now what happens after that no what happens when the money goes away what happens when mom gets sick say what happens when life throws me some cars and then I can't stay sober see when I recovered if things are going great I could have the power to stay sober and when things are going bad I still have the power to stay sober because I don't want to drink and for you newcomers in here you people with a few days so right if you wish to sobriety let me tell you that's what we're going for we're going for the time when you don't want to even touch alcohol or drugs you don't want to use it and that's what recovery is fourteen years

tell you what happened

in nineteen eighty I went to my first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting up in North Texas trying to save a marriage and it didn't work I walked in the meetings and listen to your staff and said man I'm not near as bad as you guys I got me a few more years a drink eleven before I get as bad as you losers thanks and that

I thought I walked out and I went back in big I'm on the way for a few weeks and come back because I I I got the normal for me I've been doing therapy for years guys with the belief that if I can buy to get all my little ducks in a row everything's gonna be okay and I'm gonna tell you right now that I know there's a bunch of you here they're in therapy right now thank you for going to therapy thank you for staying in therapy it's a good thing

don't just have a nice life you know this is the best truly

you can't afford therapy I'll let you know some people that can help you

thirty one picture drinking

because my drinking is not caused by external circumstances

there's a difference between alcohol abuse and alcoholism and the diseases caused by spiritual nature's genetic and no outside situation can change that

right I never thought I could just just give that right to go out with me to go out and make a steady we drink it doctors could that bring that to go out with me this is very very good that if I could just get the road had been growing

she go out with me just got off at the same time to go out with

but I said my name is Allison you people that's exactly what you want to just get married everything will be okay we just graduated with a B. okay we just get the kids out okay that's lead the other day too but not a week ago but despite my real adoptive parents everything will be okay you're gonna be blessed by that would you and stop drinking

because that's not what it's about that's that's what you want to blame it on that's not what it's about and if you believe it is you're never going to get sober because you'll never ever ever get your life perfect

when you get all the good stuff you're still gonna want something else the rest of this content that makes sense I think it makes a lot of sense