Steps 2 and 3 at the Glasshouse Group in Fort Worth, TX

all right

so Sam you got thirty days

is it going to give the steps and she stands up

Sam Greene how works she was not

got a sponsor soon

yeah

Jack yeah

my name is John all right now I am not going

actually this is Alan your board

no

I usually get bored after ninety days

you are

and

man you know because I have a lot of ninety days or so you know you got

you know you get up to go to work go to meetings all get up and go home

the guys

doing that is nine days over again I'm going to work go to meeting going home Congress sponsors it merely sit on

so over ninety days to get more work or mean only got two more life and ministry supposed to fit in the life you know enjoying life

well

do you feel like you're bored

yeah I was kind of bored with this whole thing get up go to work or legal

responsible you know why you're Bork

I know this because you're bored

things are clicking on the way to lie sponsors and I'm gonna lay that crap on me

not three years later the guys doing well it's all over good job you know there's no alcohol wife now she's a home

runaround

when I use the home is watching TV is a live set up and now she's up next gets up schools in the kitchen comes and sits down what happened he finds what's wrong with you

I don't know

I guess I'm just bored

what does it

so he says well honey do you know you know why you're bored

she looks Ms yeah because your blower

you can get those down as they always got you covered

and I'm glad to be here I yeah

you know last week we talked about the problem step one identifies the problem around god you can't manage your own lives

and I'm living in Reno Nevada I'm sober more than my sponsor and don't have to take steps to have one on one of my sponsor I said

you know

how how do you go about taking steps to

and he smote the ceremony said well

I think we found it best if you come to believe that a power greater than yourself or stories

I know that's what the step says okay but how do you take that step how does he smoke zero one well

I'm not going to really think we found it best if you if you come to believe that a power greater

obviously the guy has not worked the steps diligently

so I thought I'd help I see United discussion

and and they were talking about step two and this gal shared the water sponsor had heard the response read her own right down on a piece of paper all the characteristics of her god

the god she had

and I got she had was a very judgmental god is a scorekeeping guy he was a vengeful god she run all these characteristics about this terrible crime this you have

that was set up on the throne in heaven judging her keeping score marking down punishing her for wrongdoing throughout all the stuff about god and then she got another piece of paper out and she wrote down all the characteristics of the kind of god she wanted

and I kind of got she wanted was a very loving very merciful god very unimportant

very forgiving all these great characteristics like that and then she had a robot and she took in the fireplace and burning up

and in Chattanooga I said you've got to do something like that

he smokes a cigarette for a while he said well

should we got messages stacked in warm her he said that

we've really found it best if you'll come to believe that a power straight is

and is that John is the limited when you're when you read through the steps just

read the dark spots

there's nothing between the lines we work with the backlight nothing there the no hidden messages in that in that in that book

he said and what step two says that's our first step on faith

okay step two is a for a face to what space

I don't know I guess it's a strong belief

he said he adds a strong belief he said that

let's

let's take that that other definition of the other big book

and what that what the carpenters book says is that faith is the substance of things hoped for

the evidence of things not seen

the substance of things hoped for evidence of things

okay that makes lot of sense

he said well I said if you're seen math

in the newspaper first year here some company this has come and save

if you go down there to the store and you talk to those people out there don't you see what you don't so I think I seldom came to say

he says he stepped to an invitation for you to come to AA

to believe that a power greater sense than yourself constrained sanity see if you come to a a search button that chair the first thing that'll happen is you'll hear things you hope are true

substance of things hoped for people share stuff in the music

at that show if it works for him I work for me

the substance of things hoped for Mr Gramm long enough you'll see evidence

of things not since I've never seen got

I see evidence

want to they're more miracles in this room tonight

and more proof and more evidence of a parent really yourself an oral Roberts will ever perform

yeah

we get to see the guy can have we given your man busted

we have nothing

no dignity no self respect no job no money no place that just nothing bankrupt in every department

and what happens pretty soon you know you don't drink can you come to meeting

and yeah months over thirty days will begin job please get back to twenty years of international I fit in like six lunch all I ask is put back together real quick

evidence of things not seen

second seen god working in your life

a lot easier thanks to market working in my

I don't see them much mind at all

you know I seen doing stuff in years C. L. I. ng C. got work in your life I can't see what kind of my point I mean it's incredible we get to see evidence of things not seen

what happens when you could go and meets

yes go bonkers you're gonna mean your okay

you want extra fees go to me when you call your sponsor you're crazy

Barcelona meaning each athlete will mean you're okay

there there were never cut your sponsor just crazy is anytime he says okay I'll meet you at the meeting we'll talk after the meeting

should go to meeting after meeting comes up says now what you need

about what

well you said you had a real problem you want

Alex I guess okay

the okay game what was bothering you I wouldn't even know goes on in here

what about what was on here and we can remember what goes on in here

yeah if you ever do that after the meeting you're leaving you're going home is a great meaning all popped up your drive home we stopped at the gas station get gas maybe by some black culture sent me going there right somebody from the group

you say you missed and we had a great meeting class great really what

well we'll talk about

it is a great need to use Mr great leader who spoke

spoke it is a great meeting minutes it was just a great

and remember better it works it always works you're restricting weapons we quit going to mean just go not

you are here okay quit on me to go nuts going here okay

some things in here

your restored to sanity when you go to the meetings

you could only use one of the few of the ordinance and the and and your drink

in

and we're not even gonna levels on here and their time is terrible by the way

there noticed that about those old timers you said no new comers me right I knew coming into work and

talking about step one newcomers there

Michael my name's cases okay he's Cryin

a week ago

we go tonight

not

five naked women

and all the booze I can drink

small town or changes

you never have to live like that again

you have to go through that anymore

thank god

caption I

we had a book four year replaced as of this book

they're always happens always happens in the media you know they don't go to me Mr

when we don't know what it is you're gonna miss because we know what happens

and you can explain the miracle

okay that's why is that that's why I can't explain it

because it's a Mexican

if you could explain it

it wouldn't be a miracle what

the very fact you can't explain something is what makes that thing Americal

Phoenix when it would be a miracle

I think what would happen if Moses tried to explain his miracles

can't you see that Moses sat there now I've got children all right Jim has been held captive down the job for two hundred forty seven years

what what people did not

I don't know okay so Moses was under Israel he's got he's in Egypt he's got children was taken out of Egypt back to the promised land right outside a movie

I know you read the book okay

was that children there's only got and I think that's the biggest of the Red Sea there how to cross the Red Sea it's a big city you know they don't know what the walk around it they're going to build a bookseller crossed their debate and that talking about it and also the people come around to say Moses got a major problem

Farrow has changes mind

coming out to get us routed Moses I don't know

I will talk about finance so most of us got got it causes group in these guys consultants ten he's got as consultors got his he got medical consultant he's got a psychiatric consultant he's got his

legal consultant

he's got an engineering consultant

the question I have your operations that raises concern as government is okay here's what I'm talking about here's the plan step on this rock and we think the staff of their going to waive the staff or the receipt that I have the address he just gonna parks in the park open up like that and also the water level in this part the ground will be dry

Anderson university not

all of us even more extreme than they were three million I'm there were three million seven hundred thirteen thousand six hundred forty two

I don't really know

so

in a March to the Red Sea

background comes out to give us what is going to fall and brown all

when you think of the plan

zero consoles in the medical gases Moses all my god it's terrible plan terrible plan Moses wrote don't cry think about this Moses we go out old people

we're gonna look at the end of

okay there's all people got asked

someone that has a bad romance I don't give a straight run you step that water is going to be human you make him work through that Adam is going to flip it can almost write bad plan those going front

in the psychiatric consoles as Moses terrible terrible

most

I feel people hell they're gonna die anyway okay

the more we a lot of youngsters here we have one little youngsters these children these children Moses

as a psychological problem use backed out water you force them to March through that water like that this news garden motion

hello from Dr Moses just getting through the rest of the life more just rotten running track

the engineering guys is rotten plan

legal consultants is run

is it other side either side of the Red Sea is a foreign country we're gonna migration problems

rotten plan most

the internet is Carol planned terrible plan your eyes and my parents respect or from the level of Mosul only god knows side

B. R.

he says most Bailey

I love that place

I love that you pull that off I can promise you five pages in genesis

you can't explain it miracle last weekends when how it works you're trying

it's hard to go to work tomorrow you got jobs

you go to work yes I have a good night had a great great now it's all in one day and one day what are

Skylanders do little good man is doing great

we got drunk okay got drunk he losses business losses why foster's house lost his career did a lot of lot of checks to people gotten all kinds trouble spells the end up in groups will

it will

got it was great

the

you have to that organization yeah

real active got a sponsor who is your sponsor okay

okay

not in this program but a lot like together as well

do you feel real good response to improve that made a lot of money to get drunk and get drunk losses business losses house losses why plus career ended up in hopes will do spent two years in high school never did take it brought a lot of hot chicks cool stuff finally ended up back on terra state mental hospital

that's my sponsor

when I listen to every word he said

think about who you listen to

and a lot of you have promised us step Tuesday now

not saying I don't need to go to those meetings you know what extent do you don't need to our right and he's going to meet

but I mean you'll be okay because you'll hear things you hope are true stick around long enough to see evidence that they are what a how that works

but it works you know so I'm going to meet every single day I'm taking steps beyond the books that show me that my sponsor my one life over the care of god

when I did that Reno Nevada we note down in his little apartment and we said the third step parameter my from my one life over to the care of god

but there were three little things that my mind told me god that care about

never asking me does god care about this stuff and I just figured it out

then they were big things there is little things

first one was a money

I don't care about money then ever asking me as god care about money I just figured out because god loves rich and the poor right

how much money you've got

so I don't care about money I had better manage my money

so I manage my money and the second thing was employment

god didn't care

what you do for a living

one is honest never asking me this got carriage do for a living

I just figured it out

because god loves the dish detergent as the bank president right he didn't care not that petty

so I manage my employment

and the last one was relationships

I think I didn't care who you date

I should wrap that out there because I figured

okay guys probably not interest in the same kind of day I'm interested in

I turned over to god okay except those three letters money employment and women okay there anything else that you're on the go

not incredibly sad thing about what my mind just did to me

is the only time I've ever had to call my sponsor late at night I'm crazy bonkers

the source of that pain is always come from one of three areas

it's always money employment are women okay one of the that is really up to the rest of your life if you're sober you don't have to problems and it's either going to be is it gonna be yeah

many

or it's going to be one women and men their relationships okay that's it in fact my couldn't figure that employment and money look closely related

they're they're connected there they are connected you got a job you know you're okay you know

I really believe that I really mean it doesn't matter what your job to do and you got a job you're okay you don't get a job you're screwed that's all there is to

and I don't care what the job pays it doesn't matter what the pay gap job here okay

and so I yeah so it's it's it's always give me money or relationships the fact my sponsor I'm kind of come up and take me an hour to get around the problem so he said John we're gonna color culture

trump Jr is the code we're gonna color code these things when you call up and ask you which color is it

can you tell me

and that'll save us in our conversation

okay

so it's it's great

I got a big problem or any problem

a lot of times the green problem will really affect the pink

really affect

so anyway I'm not I'm in Reno Nevada and I'm on a

I'm going to add a lot and I've taken the thirst of unreason my sponsor to my well level of care that except for this trailer is not implement an excellent point wise I manage my employment by not working it's not working

I'm playing poker for a living and that's that's my management of my employment and my money imagine I learned a lot of money but I managed as best I can that's real part of

management if you're playing Poulter for eleven and I manage my money and relationship wise I've been sober two months

and

fellow

I think better right now I'm in love again

this was the real deal this was the real deal

if you look at

yeah

picked up in a bar

the book says it's okay to go there if you have reason to go

check your motives you have reason to be there it's okay to go there you can go anywhere you

at reasonable fees

okay

should not not not to my knowledge

because I have a contract

there are a lot like alcoholics resembling the Barton I think I'd go to the hospital

I mean I think this guy out of the hospital every other not rule

finally the nurse comes out and she got a big fit fine she's valves very very sick

okay every night this week

she went there about this ground at seventeen or Asians just thirty years old seventeen operations

you know

in my mind said

this is great

this is great I mean think about that

I'm I'm an alcoholic I got a real disease she just thinks she struck

there's a big of what we do is we will get these and I'll get real active in Alcoholics Anonymous she get relaxed even hypochondriac's loans I would get well again that's what we do I've got a sick people would group together then we supported each other we love each other we get well together this will be great you know I'll just be a part of her recovery should be part of my recovery is going to be wonderful you know

thanks

okay

I just I just couldn't even sleep you know lost thirty five pounds on her pain

I thank my sponsor bad all the time and we found love on the third day it moved in again on the third day you know

I just want to hug him thanks to the

you know we thought love just like that moving on the third day you know and got my friend ballpark box lane to me's got times overnight use us and Bob yeah he said we'll get that that's seven one day of work

twenty seven no one is like a dog's life I mean you know

seven one year to human is like seven years Teladoc

that's what it is about connection date one date to an alcoholic is equivalent to seven days for the Normie

and of course if your date is now gonna give that compounding the

so I think the third day haven date new year

forty nine forty nine days good day new year

it makes a lot of sense to me that I was on the third day so and we moved in together

ain't hurt

my sponsor about one out of one out of the deal can't get out yeah right you can't get out of a stick built

you can't leave a sick day now can't leave

my reference claim me to dealings don't make a bail

thank you

some of the most

he said we'll leave I can't leave you don't understand I love her

you still downloading what love is

I love I can't leave me so I got five kids

this is a lot worse than it really is because she had five kids but they've taken all the many children away from her

think about it in them so she used a lot and especially at two daughters at home the other

I heard

Kane

I want to ask is will leave I can't leave

he said you got a car yes we'll be back in your car

open the trunk

what you shouldn't go

I love her I love her I can't leave I can't leave

you cannot leave the city the

by the way that's why it sick

one of the first clues if you can't leave it it's

yeah and so I

but I'm I'm sober your means a lot must not forget what we're talking about anymore I'm not talking about democratic values but that sick bill should mean that you're going to get drunk

but he said he's still trying to out talk about anything else but that I'm talking about that so I'm sober now nomos missed over one eleven months now I'm I'm going to means a lot of meetings

I manage my employment might not work and I manage my money by playing poker with the money I got and I'm involved in this deliver this gal and I'm sober eleven months

and

she kicked me

she won the six I thought she was

what happens

I lost my money okay so there you go the the greens gone I got a big problem okay

that's all there is to

she kicks me out got no place to stand my car that night

the kind of next morning went into

central office to don my sponsor not not telling about men lost

money now I'm busted and I got a place to stay have you sleep in the car batteries kick me out on a place to live and he said they're smoking a cigarette

thank god

this is Donna said when

this time over there no big deals in a but this is kind of a big deal okay this this isn't just a lot of cash flow crunch we're talking about

it's not like I just got to get by until paid in and get a paycheck from me I got no payday coming because I got no job okay as at last honesty my car last night and no place to live got no place to stay I got no money and nothing to eat

a small percentage at all thank god

Josh you been around here walking like a hot shot noon April eleven months

you had a great meeting schedule

Hey but now you get to find your source

it's gonna take care you the rest of your life

we call that source god

this will be great

right

what I do what what what what a a bank do you go to they have not told me about the a bank that will get the loan to put your life back together

and he said no I said the first thing you're gonna want to do

you're gonna want to practice the seventh tradition in your own life

what's the seven tradition may know about the conditions

just get me through the steps now get traditions he said while the seven tradition says that you're going to

be self supporting through your own contributions

the client outside help

okay what exactly does that mean

you sent me you don't borrow any money

you know Larry Lee I don't lie about your barn twenty Bucks another a you are twenty Bucks another ache itself new sponsor that's not your source

I don't want to borrow money from your mom I don't want you to call your mom

you call your mom you'll cry she'll cry I've done that deal a hundred times you know just send you some money may kill you

so you don't cook you know minor from doctor you need doctor won't you tell me how color forty

are your go to responsible you call my mommy

so is that the next thing is although you're a bomb is not god's will that you look like a bomb that is not god's will

the graduate you start looking at like what you are which is one of god's kids

so I had to shave every day I get up in the morning I sleep in the street in my car and get up in the morning I walked down to the gas station

is shell station we went to a walk down the shell station I'll shave and shave every day because he when I mean not shape I'm not gonna look like a **** like when guys kiss and then I put on hold hi I have two outfits are rotated every other day and I washed down the sink article sponge bath and then our goal hi on

this is what we look for work hi civil what

when we get it

I got a job only gonna get at work for three and a half years he said well I said the

do you remember the last real job you had

yeah so what's done is was sold shares in real estate and equities

stuff like that the store when you go to the banks and you go to the insurance companies you will of the real estate companies in your world broke Josh's your pie for a job

bad don't be that guy if you don't

receive that don't do it don't do it

you got to be bonded to do that so that all these big long forms to fill in on they want to know a lot of stuff

none of their business

they want to like it says

address

the final human license but when you put that down

not familiar with them need to thirty seven ninety two thirty seven

can

and

but I did I did write it down I went there to fight for a job and I couldn't get a job this was nineteen

eighty two and I think to the economy was very depressed

once a bad recession

Dallas was doing great you know oil was a forty Bucks a barrel Rosa forty Bucks Belfast has great

press the country really sucks wind but down to doing and they just shut down two casinos that makes money money tree by seven hundred fifty people our that's a lot of people in a small community I couldn't find a job and I want my sponsors I can't find a job I've been there all day and I feel shitty can't find a job he will then go get a shitty job

so I when I try to try to be a cook's helper you know that's just a short form to fill out is one alternate

that's just your name I got a green card world K. okay

and

I saw going on things you've got a little time

of something that looks at the thing looks and Mrs Johnson I'm sorry but

you know Hey hi how are you you me a couple weeks to find a better deal and you're out of here he said I have had a slow Laotian refugee bailout Laotian refugees too he said he can't speak English should be here forever

so what I'm really thinking about a career change in the kitchen area

one woman from the ground up

I just couldn't get a job can get a job and

I lost thirty five pounds because it was me

never mind the

I used to walk around the casinos

any time any spare time I walk in mostly at night walk up and down all the casinos in in the slot machines look at the bottom of the slot machine tray because people would hit jackpot that wreck scoop up the main run off to show their friends that actually made a quarter or a dime or nickel sometimes a dollar in the bottom destruction you know you find money

and you make about two dollars doing

take eighteen hours that we can find

what happened in rose gold

it's time for

on Friday Friday the big day for me I got to sweep out of bar there's little lady that want to be on the bar seven fifty one bar on south Virginia street should be coming on Friday and I was straight up like a closet sweet batter bar should pay me should feed me lunch maybe five Bucks never could get sober she died drunk

but she let me come in here every Friday sweet batter Varsha peluk a pleasure for five Bucks and lunch

and that's when I got the

and what work

you know it just won't work

and I to go to my sponsor and I and I taught him that his say yeah yes

don't quit for the miracle happens I hate that crap

we are in that it is going to happen I can't figure out what's wrong and I go to these meetings I see other people their lives working out okay

I was over over a year and I'm living in my car I got a job I got no money at a place to live a hundred thirty five pounds and these other guys that come in after me and they and they got jobs

and and they're working out okay investing we working for me

and I must scream serrated vice when you're in a job like that he explained to me said we can't help somebody do something we haven't done

she said you don't go down to the dryers clubs get a clubhouse at ten o'clock in the morning

well those other guys are on point

to get a job

because they don't

they did that will get a job

so if you don't talk to people about your problems three people actually using talk to me about your problem

you can talk to my sponsor's sponsor which was Bob H.

our Bob sponsors PT

there's only three dot

he's a rock going to do this by group

okay we don't sponsor by group

he said you go through a ten different people

all with long term sobriety

and ask them the same question about your problem and you get ten different answers and you know what all teachers will be right

for somebody

yeah but not you

you can see those other guys didn't have the whole picture who are you my sponsor does his sponsored S. and his sponsors

so those are the only three doctors not your problem

so he says and when you go to a meeting he said that is not a dumping ground for your misery

hearing you cry and you want to tell everybody about how tough it is unusual thank you yeah we love you but we really don't care

they said there's a topic for discussion if you have nothing showing the topic then you pass

I saw as well if I did tell me this he said now

Benjamin stagnating he said that I've never lived on the bridge since you might ask some people have lived under the bridge because I know how to do that

and they might there some people down there I know how to do that

some admin staff meeting and I asked him in the meeting when it came my turn sheriff's I gotta pass but I did want to talk to somebody after the meeting about how to live under the bridge because I don't have it

and I am thanks guys come up after me

and they said man is no big deal man all I get is a good manner the blood plasma center say you're black you're seven back then we got seven Bucks for a blood sample of the plasma center and then you are the sole security office supply for food stamps they gave me some food stamps that day submerge yourself that they use cells on the street Hey and you have twenty Bucks by tomorrow

I'm so excited I couldn't sleep you know

I'm nervous I got in a park on the corner of lot classes and I'm going to sell my blood in the morning then access third there were two guys up on the step size third guy to get in there and I

they would take my blood

they want they want you to have two forms of ID and one has to have a picture after picture they want what they're getting okay

and it and I don't have a picture ID and a driver's license but I have a picture it was a special writer last

what they said right on a special bronze

the only give the special people

leisure drive very special hours so

I might have a picture on it and so that would take my blood but I'm not discouraged no big deal I'm gonna go over that sauce kid asking my food stamps Grosso's curiosity my food stamps

it wouldn't be the first

you have to have a social security card

I know my number but I lost my wallet years ago and and my car was in it didn't have a car so I know my number this will meet the cart I don't have the card lost my card well Phyllis that will melt to you

how long will that take six weeks tell me dead in six weeks you know

what is one word okay

I couldn't figure out what was going on you know and and I was just not

I'm going to need is a walking a lot I'm in my car and I got to work on other people's lives but not mine

I don't make any sense to me I've done is will not do it I used to bouncing out of I want to commit suicide I made a friend that's going to die

but nothing crazy about that is it yeah

a friend of a friend is afraid because I got to be November and it gets cold

and I said I'm gonna down my car didn't find me dead in my car

I'm not eating I'm gonna get numb and you get a cold and I have no diet so it'll be no more get micron and dynamic Kerr

and in my diet but was afraid of is that they wouldn't know who could notify

because they have a fine John already died this call okay who really knows about Coughlin always gonna call from there he also had they not sought I tell my sponsors you know the funny did McConnell who call

is that what you're afraid of your friend they won't know who to call if they catch you death

yeah

she got a piece of paper known as in case of emergency call Donnie was number on the switch mom's name I said very jovial Beijo but her number or her number down there so can I put this in your wallet he died on August

I feel a whole lot better

pretty good about it

but it just wasn't working I could make any sense out of it yeah I don't know and and I'm going to I am going to post it because he was embarrassing to walk to a twelve step call because the guys over time you get there