The 11th step at the Carry This Message group in West Orange, NJ

Hector alcoholic

well they asked me to talk about step eleven

I have it here

a

booking

you know if you if you get tired or something you can leave no big deal I will like it offended

I'll try to make it in just half an hour this is sold through prayer meditation to improve conscious contact with god as we understood him

I am only

only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out

and the two most important work to mia kia's pray only and improve

improve assumes that we already have a relationship with god

and the way to improve it is by doing prayer and meditation

which have been around for thousands of years

and they are really the most important the simplest way to make conscious contact with god

I'm

if you read on page eighty five of the end of the chapter to the end the chapter eighty eight that's really step eleven and this short pages were given three different formats two teachers how to use play a different times of the of the day I'm not going to go through them but I'm you know what they are right the first one is on awakening

the book says let us think about the twenty four hours ahead and they give us about five or six suggestions what to do

what I do before I get up before I put my foot on the floor

before I put my foot on the floor when I open up my eyes and I'm half awake I begin to give thanks thank you god some people wake up

thank you god for this day thank you for my house thank you for my friends thank you for my program thank you for my sobriety please dear lord guide me today that I can be useful

that will not be so selfish but I keep giving thanks and thanks and thanks so I started the day by giving thanks

you see because I think it's Plato said two thousand twenty five hundred years ago he said a grateful mine used to grade mine

that eventually attracts to itself great things

you know if I said that they will graduate you

I will be you know and that's mode for the rest of the day and then as we continue says a middle of the day as we go through the day we pause when educated doubtful and they gave us some directions what to do in the middle of the day in this interesting delicious we fox

we Pollack's

because you know what I mean my turmoil I cannot hear anything I cannot do anything I just react and I usually don't react in a civilized manner

so if I pause

I have much more of a chance to do god's work in that yeah I will I I will behave from the point of your love and not fear and then the answers on my time will will retire that might you know we constructively review of the day and it gives also another set of for another format to review the day see if we also my man so whatever you have in the books I'm not going to go through them

okay

I wrote about prayer books I like to read I'm referring a lot to this you know inside of me there's an ever lasting source of power better known as god's great

if I learn to harness that power can feel me you can inspire me by telling me what to do and how to be cut to do it

is it can give me inner peace and most important you can give me a direct connection to the end running power of golf

and prayer meditation as I said before are the best way to make conscious contact with god

and we can do pray you know whatever we got in the car sometimes the thank you god for this well I'm going to interview or something please god you come with me because I'm frightened by this I cannot do it alone and traffic especially in traffic

because I sound like Mother Teresa from the podium put me in traffic and I become Charles Manson

I'm getting better though four weeks ago I had an action is one accident really change my driving

I'm always rushing

one of my rush you have nowhere to go

I'm retired I don't have to work for the rest of my life I leave the gym at eight o'clock in the morning my my my my house is like seven blocks I'm rushing I have to go to my house to do what

contemplate my garden you know what I mean what is it

watch TV and I get to an accident and my beautiful goddess wraps the whole right side is I have to have a dude this is being repaired now

I have to stop

and for the last three and a half weeks have been driving differently I think finally I got the message be still be still you know I think I talk to you okay they have to make this thing is to make contact we got

the gods grace which is inside of me already gave you the the the definitional got great America gift is guiding me she I have to make god contact with god

god doesn't have to make contact with me he knows where I am he can lose my files

you know what I mean he knows where I am so it's my job to make conscious contact with god

I am

you see guys racist last children you know we are heirs to god's grace

well have to remember you know that what what I've learned with us because all my problems come for only one thing

my mistaken notion that I'm separate from god

in all my solution is remembering my wonders my strong ship with god

somebody else is different in different way

all my pains come from isolation

all my feeling comes from joining

that's a estimate

isn't it

all my pains come from isolation all my feeling come from joining

and especially remember

not the father and I are one the what I am god

all time

okay

I think I said it you face with apprentice aimless

I cannot face

but I have to want to have a relationship with god I have to talk to god

she is aimless unless I talk to god it anchors myself in the union that I have with god

and then I said and prayer without faith is useless

the most important ingredient for prayer

you know it's fate

Fred like

knowing that the gift is already given

because as the father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom

that's what I believe and I wrote it down because I'm sure you know sometimes I forget

you know prayer is not it you know I petition

this supplication

or a big thing

prayer is a dialog with god for the purpose of aligning ourselves with the will of god

man always longed for a relationship with a higher power and prayer is the proper channels for that implant doesn't do anything to the mind of god press does something to the mind of the person praying

the nature of god never alters it's always love

no matter what I do god loves me why because love is the only healing power in our case the love that really feels to us is the love we give you I give you this wonderful that you Love Me this infinitely much more important than I love you

because the only feeling love is the one the love we give that's why the books just when everything else fails he doesn't say go out and buy another cashmere sweater doesn't

when everything else fails find the newcomer somebody to talk to to love to care

and the more love I give the more I have to give

because I'm not the source

god is the source on the channel

and what is the one I do service what is that is god made visible

okay is god in action whoever did the coffee thank god in action

that's it it's a loving act that's what I believe

yeah we must pray only for god's will and guidance otherwise we are telling god what to do

she I thought the having a Mercedes but good for me

be on television was good for me having the Ralph Lauren suits will go good for me and I had all that and I ended up dead for three days of intensive care unit so obviously I don't know what's good for me

so pray for god's will

what is the a law which you want me to do

you know and I can pray for things if I don't have transportation to my work please god you know I knew some consultation you show me what I should do your guide me

because I may want the Pinto got me one a rolls Royce for me you know what I mean so why short change myself

you know it's like you know like think about god you know lobsters I'm not getting to that my little bit okay the book says the same thing pays fifty

thirteen never was I to pray for myself except as my request before bore usefulness to others

sometimes spray isn't easy to activity but in general for most of us is not

as a general rule most people do not enjoy pray

and I pray probably eighty percent of the time the sometimes I'd rather watch Jay Leno

you know and I've contacted you can watch this idiot for two hours you can add that he K. five minutes to to to god when you're ready to drink when you're going to call Jay Leno

so we'll get more at least we have must get back to it

really must get back to prayer even would do I'm not we don't want to feel like doing it

because everything we do in life is a prayer by the way everything we think everything we say every action we take is a prayer

pray without ceasing

and that's why I have to really be at one with god so all those things a real reflection of the guy which is inside of me

sometimes I said to the guys I sponsor what you've done all these guys will familia okay what would you do if the guy was standing next to you this is okay son show me what my will

let's see if that would be your will

I'm

it's important to pray you know it's okay to pray at different times I pray sometimes in the car in the car and I'm not talking like half an hour prior

you know I'm driving or something I talk to god thank you god for this beautiful day you know thank you for my car please help me driving because if you don't know how to drive so you teach me patience

you know the boys ask trucks see how was it that he drove so beautifully and serene thank you said that's because I only drive my car see I don't drive their cars

I'm always telling you how to drive your car and I don't say would very spiritual words either you know so

so it's important not to pray also always with the same worst of fox it's okay that we say the first soprano and our father but just with god like would be a good friend

we have to really develop a relationship

if I want to relive develop a relationship with this gentleman here I cannot recite verse after verse I have to talk to him and just like this god which is a loving friend I have to talk to him

I have to have a dialog with god

and it's important what we call I called a spiritual practice is wonderful that we do it all day long thank you god for this will drive second but I mix I must make time

every day and I don't do it every day I said eighty percent to set that time aside five minutes

five minutes because I get pissed with the guys on the ice sponsors I cannot do that

five minutes you gonna dedicate to god how much television you watch a day or two and a half hours really in no five minutes for god

I should dedicate to god

especially in the morning with a day is fresh and we're not taking out by the police and I'm pleased to watch the news in the morning

please the watching you this negative garbage have you ever felt great after watching the news well I feel so good

such a wonderful news here now I don't know but in LA is always a car chase somebody the complications somebody wanted the showing

and have you ever seen the never show when that guy does go up and then when they sent him to jail

they never do it

is some negative so I have just thought we'd really talking to god five minutes you know this call is spiritual practice the professional practice

the other that took a little lecture somebody and he's saying these things that it was so wonderful you know what we think about got it he said think about this what if god has a desperate need to have a relationship with you

thank you really he earns his nostalgically he's passionate to have a love affair with you

think about that

thank you won't really he feels that you are necessary for his work

because men and women are god's greatest creation

men are the only animals on earth the worship

you know

then just thinking she says

is this your M. believe will be necessary for god's work

what if you know

he says

what if god was looking at you all the time so why didn't she just talking to me I adore her

I want to have an affair with them it is crucial affair she's now I'm I'm ready to give her the kingdom

and she wants to set up for you pros shoes from Kmart you know what I mean how think about this power passionately in love with you that's why he or she created

and we're not responding

what would happen if we pray and meditate with that kind of gone

what would be

okay

one of the things

that Jill goldsmith says not in this was to pray in secret

I'm praying in silence

because every time we play pray in public the eagle is involved

remember that just for today the little paper this is do something today B. A. kind action to do it tell anybody if you tell it doesn't count

the same with god

it's much more important to pray in silence to pray in secret

because whatever I do from the podium the eagles involved I don't care who is speaking from the podium

but when you do it alone

this song so much more important and by the way we work the program to gather that we enter the kingdom of god alone

because the kingdom of god is inside of each one of us and that's a solitary journey that we have to take a loan

we cannot help you there and prayer and meditation are the best avenues to really be at one with that in dwelling energy

the divinity the kingdom of god that still small voice which is inside of all of us

okay about meditation

how does grace can best real be based realized by state of inner silence

yes they do in it alertness to receive the highest and most precious gift the god can give us his grace

you know some people think of got a sense of loss

you know they ask for things good can I give you any can I give you cannot give me anything

because everything that he can give me a full study given this inside of me Larson sodomy prosperity is inside of me hi this is inside of me vision is inside of me compassion is inside of me

god doesn't go around given rolls Royce to this person and a team to to this person god in my belief has nothing to do with the material world

think of god as spiritually and can only be discerned spiritually

so like people say sobriety is a gift from god okay if you believe that I respect that I don't believe that

so if you got a surprise a gift from god right how about the eighty percent who doesn't get sobriety

there the I'm gifted ones got to love them he just gave a sobriety and remember only five foot maybe for between five and twenty percent of people come to a guess a variety

that's kind of where Santa Claus kind of guy you get sobriety you get sobriety I don't like you should do he died in a car accident Brock who gets the bride because of right well she's flat chested she guys drunk you know

what kind of a god is there

god's grace is inside of all of us whether we choose to excessive and harness it and use it it's up to me

you see that the book says are you willing to go to any lengths it doesn't say excuse me you want to stay sober be someone let's check if your higher power was willing to go to any lengths

now are you willing to go

made a decision I have to make a decision

god is always willing another thing god's timing

well in god's timing

excuse me the last time is always now

now god is not I was so I will be I am

god is always in the present

life is still was in the Preston

in the infinite now and that's what I believe the goddess always available to me goddess always willing gosh time is always now

so we'll get to meditation

and that meditation is not escape from life

it's a peaceful encounter with Rick ality

because my real life is not out there

that's an illusion

my real life is inside of me that's why in a a would call it an inner journey

and the deeper at Galle

the more work I do in a work the more at peace I will be the more connected I am with that incredible spiritual energy which is inside of me and then all those things out there will not affect me so much

because I don't depend so much in the material world

so prayer and meditation really this is my antidote for my hunger for the material world which it just hurt me when I pitch he didn't fix me I have the Mercedes I have the money in the bank I some television myself maybe forty fifty times and I ended up dead for three days

so the only sustenance that's going to help me is the one this inside of me

okay

you know for most of us is very difficult to sit and be quiet

meditation is a difficult

practice to accomplish

but

the purpose of meditation to receive divine guidance from god

but if we go into meditation with the purpose to get such and such a result

all sectors such short answer I have already failed

I just had to surrender myself and the god tell me listen to the still small voice and I had a few moments you know what I have meditated and the

you know the talk about the the special moment to remember about the name they were given in the book this personal experience

and it was phenomenal but I've been so twenty four years right probably have five with him is phenomenal it was I felt so strong

I felt I had transcended my body only that I was not here in the physical world

I remember once we were sitting by the Big Bear lake doing the steps a bunch of guys and let's meditate and I could hear the murmur of the contended that the low waste in the lake and I close my eyes and I was not in this world I was not in America was I imagine Tina I went someplace else and it was very peaceful

ferry saw all the tension was gone

and I felt something I'd never felt before and had maybe four five with us of those twenty four years

there were magnificent

in L.

this is a purity and meditation

sometimes a meditating and when I go to church because I'm a special practitioner my church sometimes we have to hold official what they call it from the whole service we have to be militant taping anchoring the presence of god

and and sometimes you know you go to a place that you told this connected with it and then you open that there are only got hot

you know it's like a totally different world

it's so much peace inside of me and inside of you that's what I believe

okay

there are many many forms of meditation I'm not going to go into all of them and in not one particular form of meditation is suitable for everybody

we'll have to find you know our own form of medication

they are walking meditation that I watched people when they put a candle they look at the candle that one so you have a car but which is the word that you choose that you repeat quietly

there's some people who concentrate on the briefing it doesn't matter you have to find the one that best suits you

you know basically all the techniques

are just the purpose is to quiet the mind the ego doesn't want us to quiet the mind I think you have to pay the rent tomorrow you know what I mean you don't have a relationship to yet you know what I mean huh he had not be still be still and the thing is one of those folks people think of you great meditator all that's going to go away no

I the most she can be you know silence truly silent for like a few seconds

and when they think the technique is not to fight with the thought comes in

not to give it power just to be sure of it not to get angry and just go back to your breathing or to your car whatever you know the the war that you're repeating side of self or whatever they just don't give it power the minute you fight with it

you lost it

that's a technique

mmhm

I wrote the purpose of prayer meditation is to break our attachment to the material world

nothing requires more discipline than the spiritual way of life

and nothing gives us great enjoy greater peace and greater security than entering our inner sanctuary and realizing that the father and I are one

I wonder if

stop by will stop now what I like to do is see if you'll allow me let's do one minute minute Tatian are you game for it yeah okay so let's sit very comfortably

relax the body

the reason of the position is always to ignore the body so that we're not aware of the body

just go within

let go

let go of everything that happened up to now what happened during the week what happened at work

even what I said

just relax

let go

concentrate on your breathing

see your life going in and out

breathe deeply

if the noise comes him what he thought comes in just

Sarmad

sh

medical

let go

local detention

remember when you are Curtis

a full force

now face gently

with a break in the consciousness that would happen now

this is serenity prayer god

hi all for myself to be

to be

and to me that well

please leave me this is just

and

some

a fairly very gently door should open your eyes

the Russian

don't speak

did you see how the energy in the room changed

god is at hand

I did make it happen

we'll make it happen

James Baker welcome

remember

that is all around us in us us us

he loved us so much that he created us image

his chest our task through prayer and meditation to contact the inability inside of us

thank you for letting me share