The Meeting Group in Stockholm, Sweden

I'm hopeful to one tolerate chiefs on channel eleven Copacabana brokerages

thank you very much I am an addict my name is Richie

welcome thank you and welcome to the newcomers if there's anybody coming back welcome welcome back

the the topic that we've considered tonight is the newcomer

because we all know what that was about

that's one thing that we have or we all have in common

and the

I don't know exactly where to start I guess I'll start just telling you that you know like I came into narcotics anonymous

as an addict of the hopeless variety if in fact I was so hopeless that I didn't think narcotics anonymous could could really help me I thought the only thing would that would help me with suicide

and I'm really grateful

that I had someone bring me and that spent the day with me and and explained to me that

you know I didn't have to take such drastic measures from for what I considered my problems to be

and

there's a there's a sentence in one of the steps I think its sentence incentives from step three that says we realize that the power that brought us to this program is still with us and will continue to guide us if we allow it

okay

so I guess there was some power that was holding on to my hand and the bought me into this program because I guarantee I certainly didn't come on my own

on my own intelligence

we're just talking about this before the meeting started and we were talking about how did we get here by our heart or by our intelligence by mine

and we came to the conclusion that we must to guide here by our heart

because our head certainly told us that this wouldn't work and that we didn't really want to come

so I'm just before I go on is there anyone here that needs an an interpreter does everyone speak English

okay could be coming back he's coming back

now

hello

okay maybe that'll be a bit better

anyway SO I came in as a newcomer and

and I heard that I heard people say I heard in the readings the newcomer is the most important person at any meeting

because we can only keep what we have by giving it away

and you know nobody really gave me much that night you know it certainly couldn't hear I didn't have the ability to pay any attention

and I kept standing around waiting for somebody to give me something

I certainly thought that my turn my chance would come when they sent center on the the seventh tradition

I thought that this is where we take advantage of

taking what I liked and while leaving the rest

but I didn't

took a while for me to get a hold of this program you know they talk about getting a sponsor they talked about getting phone numbers also

I didn't get any phone numbers the first night I I didn't get a sponsor

another thing that I heard is get a home group

get hooked up with a home group go to enough meetings that you can find the group that you feel that you're comfortable at

so I took that I took that suggestion and I started going to meetings and they suggested ninety meetings in ninety days and

you know just like all the rest of us I guess I went to about three hundred meetings in ninety days

because I didn't know what to do with myself you know and

and I found it a way of you know finding out who who is at the other meetings you know because everybody talked when I listen to people talk you know I used to think to myself while

they just they just quoted step one we admitted they were powerless over our addiction that our lives have become unmanageable and they didn't even read it off the wall and I thought

well what I would be able to whatever like to be able to remember the steps like they do

and I thought oh well like and everybody that spoke had what I wanted

you know they all sounded so good

and you know like

even when they do contradicted themselves you know like one person would say you know get phone numbers and then the next person would say don't get so many phone numbers and and I I didn't matter what they said they sounded great you know I mean that like addicts have a way of of making suggestions and and describing their situations are dilemmas in such a way that it just sounds like it sounds like it's all about me

and being an addict that you know I'm a little bit self centered so I like people talking about things that I can relate to

so yeah months went by and you know I still hadn't got a sponsor I bought a basic text and have put up on the shelf there's a saying I guess it's probably the same thing all over the world it says if you want to hide something from an attic put it in the basic text

at the end that that same was certainly true for me because I mean like I bought it and I don't think I opened it up at first you know

you know I I had great intentions you know I I I thought to myself I gotta start reading this book I wanna sound good when I come to the meetings

yeah because like we're all caught up in that like want to look what they call it in the book that I

terminally hip happenin fatally cool I think they talk about it in chapter five what can I do

and I certainly fell into that category I I I want to look good you know I want when I was sharing a wanted people to listen and

and I in a like I like I saw those giants from recovery those people that had a year and two years and I wondered why I wonder how you do get what do you do you get that you know how do you stay clean that long you must really have to learn to live

because I just couldn't believe that anybody could tell the truth and be clean that long

but I kept coming back and

I got a sponsor and went over the the twelve stats and

I think one of the biggest things that happened to me in my first year recovery my sponsor invited me to go to the world convention

and that will convention was in Toronto Ontario in Canada

and

you know I saw the narcotics anonymous was just not a small town

a group of people that had banded together to get clean

you know like I I I I started to realize that narcotics anonymous is a a world organization there with people representing

many countries there and of course from all the provinces in Canada Malik I think from every state and in the United States

and you know it they everybody there had what I wanted you know I want like I like I wanted to get clean I wanted a new way of life and that's what they they told me when I came in here is that you know you can stop using

lose the desire to use and find a new way of life and that's what I wanted

you know there's a sentence in step one it says we have found that we had no choice except to completely

changer old ways of thinking or go back to using

and I don't know if I really want to completely change my old place of thinking but I you know I was ready to go fifty fifty anyway

and you know like I never realized that you know it's either all or nothing in here

and people come and go in this program and

unfortunately

there's more Golan then there is common

and there's a lot more going on there is stay on

you know I guess that's what you know like when I cried onto early on and you know I thought to myself what's going on here how can how can we what what can we do to to keep people coming and keep them stay in

you know because I I figured if if I could get him to that

it might help me stay to

and you know I know for a fact that for me to go out and get loaded I like I've we've got a chapter in our basic text called recovery and relapse chapter seven

and

you know route relapses what will they say in the book it says it might be the jarring event that helps us to work our program more vigorously but I do know also that I've seen a lot of people relapse and die

you know so and I've never had to relapse since I've come in tonight five sounds good and the reason I I really believe that the reason is that I kept coming to meetings even when I didn't want to

illnesses sometimes just months ago by when I don't want to come to a meeting just wanna come anymore

but I do anyway

you know I get up in the morning sometimes I wanna sleep for a little while longer I have to get up and go to use the washroom

I don't want to get up it's cold in my room and it's nice and warm in between the sheets and the blankets I don't want to get up but I do anyway because if I do the results I don't if I don't do what I gotta do then the results are disastrous and the worst thing in the end I wish I had

as the same thing with meetings I just keep coming yes keep coming back

and you know

here's the difference for me between a good meeting and a great meeting because they're all good meetings no matter what meeting I come to I always feel better after the meeting

yeah that just the fact that I've come I might not be happy any happier

after the meeting but I do feel better that I at least made the effort number three the three spiritual principles that are so important to our recovery our honesty open mindedness and willingness and I just have to be willing to get here

now if I get here a little early and set up the chairs and do a little bit of service work

I'm I'm starting I'm starting to move toward a great meeting if I stand at the door and welcome everyone I get a little closer

to feeling good about my recovery

but you know being an addict I wanna work celery myself towards recovery you know like I mean I'm trapped by my need for instant gratification

that recovery can give me you know I used to be trapped by my aunt my need for instant gratification said drugs would give me now I'm traveling my need for instant gratification that recovery gives me

and I founded the newcomer

is the key to my success for

my successful acceleration

towards a goal the goal that I feel as though it's worth achieving and that's recovery

the more newcomers that I would have an opportunity to work with

the better I feel all the time like it does get a little busy at times but

that's what keeps me coming back today I'm constantly looking for new coverage to include in my program you know I think I'm just going to draw a little bit of an analogy here I don't know how appropriate dishes but

you know over in North America they have pyramids skate sales I'm sure they do here also I mean because everything else is exactly the same here but what a pyramid sale is is

what a pyramid sale is as you see somebody that wants what you have what what E. that you want what they have

they usually have a big car nice house nice clothing

and that affluent look of of comfortable next

and

so you go up and you say how are you getting what you're getting and they say well we're selling this particular product and you say okay like I think I'd like to sell a little bit of this because I want what you've got

and they say okay come in come in and will get you into the program and you go in and

you know you start selling this product and you realize that man I'm gonna have to sell this stuff for a thousand years before I get anywhere near what this guy's got and I use it is sure that with that your sponsor that's what they call it in terms of sales as a sponsor and you share that with them and they say well you know you can accelerate your progress in this organization by getting somebody below you to sell a little bit and that's basically what we do in this program you know like we get a Swansea

and the Swansea keeps coming to us asking us questions about the program that we have to look in the book to find the answers for and in the process of what I'm looking for the answer we get a little bit better program ourselves

and of course if you got to spot she's asking you questions Bingley like you just double the speed that you're learning the program

now as we're learning this program yes this is a god given program and you know like there's a line in our basic Texas says

you know the talk of god in the meetings when we first came and repel this some of us

and I don't mean to repel anybody but like I mean you know this is just a reality

the nice thing about the guide in this program is you can have whatever you want you know instead three it says the right to a god of your understanding is total and without any catches

but then there's a qualifying census says because we have this right it is necessary to be honest about our belief if we are to grow spiritually

you know stuff like I do you know do what you like around the guy thing but for me

ha

you know I really believe that if god is if this is a god given program yeah

this is a guy given program and he's going to use me

he's gonna want me to know what's going on here

you know if I could if I walk in here and I think I was going to use me you know just because I've arrived you know I hope somebody will wake me up

you know it's it's much like acting here you know like yeah I'm trying to act like a recovering addict and I

and you know all I have to do is no the no the book

yeah we have a basic text and archives and on the student says in the book but this book is meant

to be a basic text for any addicts seeking recovery

and that's what I'm doing I'm seeking recovery

and I want god to use me and you know he he watches to see what I'm doing with my book usanetwork Richie

you know because he sees everything every move that I may

and you know like that's why I like the new comers because when I see the nuclear always ask them if they'll help me read the book a little because they usually say yes everybody else that has got some time in the program is

going right back to work after the meeting

or they're busy doing something because they got a light

so there's not many people that I can count on to help me read the book

and get him to this program except for the newcomer

and I take a mall

they're all mine

yeah I love a mall step one

yeah that's my favorite thing to say to somebody could help me could you you think you've got time to help me reach that one usually takes about an hour and a half but I always say well it takes about ten minutes

you know because it's like I'm on the hook

at all and you know we read through it it does it it's the truth you know I try to be honest today is the truth it only takes ten minutes to read but you see we developed a method

because like one of the things that we found in working with with each other not just newcomers but with each other is a lot of us have trouble paying attention

and a lot of us have trouble reading you know I mean

I'd like to be able to tell you I just breeze through school without any trouble but you know that's a lie

you know I'm an addict

you know it's a full blown alcoholic at the age of twelve

you know I mean I could like I could hardly wait till lunch time at school when I was twelve years old so I could go to the bar and get drunk

and then I come back to the school and just lie down and the teachers would never wake me up because I was a problem when I was awake

so they were real happy that I was drunk and that I come back into the class and for a couple of times and go back to sleep

and they would wake me up until it's time to go home and my my report card you know

like F. it stands for failure and in North America

and I can remember my report card being covered with S. that that was the only mark that I made but then how can you expect me to get do any better when I slept through school

but yeah you know so some of us have trouble reading and I've certainly qualify for a a person has trouble reading

so we devised a method

you know we come here and we don't state thank god we don't have to stay clean for a week at a time

for a month at a time the imagine how hard that would be

I mean like I'd be talking to

I don't know how many people would be in the room if we had to stay clean a month at a time rather than a day at a time but it certainly makes it a lot easier

when we only have to stay clean a day at a time

and so we thought about this a little bit we thought you know let's maybe just try reading one sentence at a time rather than a paragraph because I know when I'm reading with somebody and they read the second sentence of the paragraph

is there looking out the window you know but when I have to read the next sentence all the time it demands that I pay attention

and what we did is we started number in our basic tax so that every sentence has a number so that as we were reading as we were reading through the let's say our step one

if there was a sense there that I thought that I thought that was really important that I'd like to talk about after the reading

I have a list of my numbers that I wanted to share with you

it works which would just work so good Enova

I read with a new cover and you know it's like I say it only takes ten minutes to read step one and depending on how many lines you think are important is how long we're going to be hanging around together after they read

I was with some some newcomer in I would I was chairing a meeting up in London

her across England or wherever we are a

and this person came up to me a new cover came up to me after the meeting said I'd like you to sponsor me and I said well that that's a good idea but like why don't we read the basic text first of all

why don't we see what the program has to offer and will read the book from cover to cover and if you still want me to sponsor you after we've read the book

of course also yes

but with it why be so hasty remember it doesn't mention anything about sponsorship and tells

step four and our basic text

but it does say by page twelve if you're an addict and I found this book

please give yourself a break and read

it says that on the cover it says it again on page one

it says it again on page twelve so by the time we get to page twelve we've already been reminded that

it might be an important thing in our lives to read the basic tax

you know one of the things I find about reading it with people that I got time in the program is

I always get

basically the same answers not always I should say that because every time we read it we we get something new out of it

a special working one on one you know the therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parallel we feel that our way is practical for one that can best understand and help another addict

and you know a

when we're reading this together

no matter who I'm reading it with a a newcomer or oldtimer we always get something new out always gets better you know I had the opportunity read step one maybe three or four or five times today with a whole group of people

and every time we read it I thought of a whole pile of new stuff that I wanted to share because I have a list of numbers

you know that I've collected as we reading through it

so yeah it's really important for me you know like with what I got today what I'm happy with my recovery today you know

you know other people might say you know Richie is I don't know if I like which is programmed to well but you know here's the nice thing about my program is

that I've been really blessed since I came into this program I've been able to go to the last seven world conventions

and what did you say what what why would you want a real world convention I mean I have enough trouble getting to a meeting right here in town why would I want to go halfway across the world a world convention

because you meet a whole pile of people they're really excited about narcotics anonymous at world connections the only people go to world conventions are people that are really excited about our taxonomists and those are the people I want in my program I like people that are really excited

people with time and the program that are really excited

because a lot of the times like when I go to meetings in my own hometown the only people that are really excited about the program or new companies and they come wandering in the stores and they really believe that this program is going to work most of the people I want to be around

people that really believe in narcotics anonymous

so yeah I've had the opportunity to go to the last seven world conventions and I've had the opportunity to go to

the last four European conventions

and I have so many friends around the world you know like I I just went over to Matt's house last night

and check my email I haven't checked it for a couple weeks and it was a hundred and sixty eight messages on their

and not all that I really wanted but there was a few there that I did one and I stayed up

well into the early hours of tomorrow morning

returning these messages because there's some people love me today and I came into the narcotics anonymous I don't believe anybody Love Me

and I didn't really believe that I was lovable and you know thank god for narcotics anonymous like because that's all changed

in Iowa I mean I've I've really really I'm beginning to like who I am

and that's a big change because I certainly didn't think much of who I was when I came in here

so yeah the newcomer is very important to me and

we do have everything that we do in our service is to try to make it better for the newcomers to keep you coming back

and to keep it staying in the program

you know like I hope that none of us have have to ever relapse because relapse is

are so often fatal

and if they're not we end up living

in a

insane asylums

in prisons

presence with bars on them more prisons that we make for ourselves sometimes I think the ones that we make for ourselves are worse than the ones with bars on them

at least a feature in a prison where the bars are the prisons that we make for ourselves like

we can starve in them you know

that's what we got to look forward to if we don't get the program

you know jails institutions or death

so yeah I would like I'm pretty grateful that the god supplies me with newcomers

and they always have a fresh idea

I had to have no idea what they're going to talk about I have sometimes have an idea what old timers are going to talk about when I read with them if I ever get the chance to read with them you know I went up to the top of I just wanted to share this one story and then they shut up

I feel like I talk talk on and on but this is such a good story you know I was asked to to talk to a few people down and the convention in Switzerland it this year and after the convention somebody came up to me

and told me they had one day of the program and I said oh that's great could you help me reach step one

and the guy says yeah I could do that that was a whole pile of us it was somebody from Germany and

somebody from France's who knows where they were often maybe Italy and so we're all sitting around and we're all reading step one and

we all shared a little bit after after we read

and and we got to know each other a little bit better because this is a you know like it's it's nice to get to know your

and unless I restart read like what it what a way

to get to know somebody

you know there is in this book here

there is if step one was considered one of our opportunities to get together there are seventy five opportunities to get together

and like I said takes about an hour usually an hour an hour and a half to read something like long chapters like recovery and relapse chapter seven

can take as long as six hours or seven hours or eight or ten hours

but you know by the time we read seventy five things together we were starting to get to know each other a little bit we're starting to get to trust each other

you know I started to open up because I will tell you nothing about me you know addicts are very secretive people

and

you know like I said I get caught up in want to look good

you know and trying to fit in I just want you to like me so bad you know so

but anyway

I got this new cover up to the top of the mountain at the top of the elves

and we read step one up there collected a whole pile of numbers that we're going to talk about after the reading

we walked down the hill for the mountain I guess they caught

their health compared mountains in BC where I come from but a

but I

no they're not they're all non

but we worked on this mountain and we had such a good time together and then he drove me over to Geneva

and you know it's it we went to a meeting over there we had such a good time you know and just one more story just like what we always had time for one more line

you know that that convention in San Jose and a couple years ago and I met a new cover there also

and he said to me you know Richie this is really nice reading the book with the

he says I'm going to the Grand Canyon

I have a couple of weeks in between my jobs and I'd like you to join me and I thought oh Gee I don't know if I want to travel with a newcomer don't mind reading step one with yeah but after an hour and a half weeks start to you know get a look shaky

and and I don't want to keep my act up for more than an hour and a half you know like like to start thinking I should get paid after half that act for a longer than an hour and a half

but the

I acquiesced in we went you know I told I have no money he says I didn't ask if you had any money

I asked if you want to come to the Grand Canyon with me and I really want to go to the bank and

so we hopped in his car and we both had our basic tax and

which proceeded to read book one right up to the story

and we read as we right right driving down the highway he was driving and I was sitting in the passenger seat

and we agreed and I'd say number one

and I read sentence number one and I. T. number two and I've reset is number two and he take write that one down Richie and side right on his list

number two and after I got everything read I'd say okay you've chosen number two

why did you choose this and we talk about it a little bit

and we got to the grant we work we went to Las Vegas to meetings in Las Vegas we went up to Utah meetings in Utah we went to that that to Arizona we went down to California we spent a days in the in the Grand Canyon together

we had an absolutely wonderful time if he would have not taken the keys out of his car and put him in his pocket I would push them over the Grand Canyon

there was a few times we got a little bit short tempered with each other

and it had he not had the keys in his car I guarantee I would've pushed them all recovery or no recovery

I could I would have been able to justify and rationalize how I tripped and stumbled into a van he fell over the edge

and I would hop in the car and driven away with a new car

you know but he always took the keys because he knows that I'm an addict

the N. L. and he had read the book with me so there was no reason for him to trust me

L. I wouldn't trust anybody in this room until I read the book from cover to cover with you

and then you probably give me good reason not to trust you before I wouldn't have any reason

but I'm an addict you know what I come in here all and all of a sudden like I didn't trust anybody on the street and all this and I come in here and well I'm just going to trust everybody all all all one no I'm not

sorry

I don't have that kind of recovery I mean I got some time in the program but

people that spend a lot of time with me now even new conversation me Richie

that wasn't very honest

you know because newcomers decline you know sometimes you have a lot of trouble shaking him off and

they get past that hour and a half and they get to see the real me

and also like anyway we went on this trip and you know six days later we got back to San Jose

and he says to me I really want to thank you for coming with me because you save me a hundred twenty dollars now remember this guy paid for the postage stamps the postcards all the meals

and I look at him I said how could I have saved you a hundred and twenty dollars

he says well I looked at the billboards as we were driving by the hotels the motels and they were thirty dollars a night and if I would have been by myself I would have stayed in a motel

we camped out we were even ran into a couple of girls up in Utah that took us home for the night we were supposed to stay out in the living room

and they were going to sleep in the bedrooms

but we started reading the steps in the living room together

and you know like the the steps our solution remember the drugs used to be our solution and you know if we were using the drugs out the living room

everybody would come out to the living room well now we read the steps of the living room and that's our solution today and those girls weren't I mean they might have been a little slow taking us home

but when we started reading the steps they knew that we had what they wanted they came out we read steps we read one steps one two and three and everybody went to sleep

and we had the time of our life and they want us to come back they said to us the next day well you guys can come back whenever you want

and very few women ever told me that before I came into the program you know

so you know the steps really work the steps were don't don't wait until you get better to work the stats please don't wait

you know the steps are the step our solution there are survival kit there are defense against addiction which is a deadly disease

and the steps are the principles that make our recovery possible

so if there's anything I can do to help anyone here tonight that's why I came

and I came to stay clean

and you know maybe I have something that I didn't share with you here

you know maybe you can remind me after the meeting maybe there's something that I forgot to say that I should have said

some will come up to me after the meeting and say well what about this and also I wish I wish I heard about that too but

I'm just really grateful that I've had the opportunity to come and be with you tonight I wish everyone here another twenty four hours I'll take twenty four hours for myself in this

I'm at my name is Richie god bless you all thank you thank