"Yo" Steve B., former NA World Board member, speaking somewhere in California

more from the capital

World services when I became an R. D. of the region about five years I had my house in order that someone out there with our duty to California

and I have met a lot of guys who have come tomorrow let me in the past

but that one was it H. N. I chair and chair now reports some people die and that

so I was introduced to this guy

and they introduced reform as you'll see

she does

you know it's not you know so then we call

we got a hit it off right away

I have the pleasure of going to his home group which they called R. two

it was some recovery two thousand no we jumped off in there and they had a jazz player pianos and they're playing the piano there's a woman in the back of the food this was like an hour before the meeting you to start so they were stolen

before doing it after I had the pleasure of sitting down breaking bread with his family I know all the sponsors I know who's sponsoring those grants sponsored you know and is just like I say when I go out they treat me just like you know one of the family so without further ado on the west side area of California

I'm a give you your speed

all right

the first thing I like to do man I like to

zero of Diana Goodman

hello Mar dive bar of

good morning everybody

you know

although

you need to service I think I need to share this with you and the

I got this nickname because I had about sixty days playing of the retreat of the mountains

and when I got the fellowship I couldn't talk

so did everything back in eighty

I want to say that there will be collected from the streets of the yellow gold you'll always does this you know that you know everything you know

hello

yeah yeah me to come up and share

that came up in front of the podium I get nervous

but I couldn't say my name

as I said

of

you'll see M. S.

everybody uses the

I got a new

from there I got involved in all of these years

I would I would move from the from the bottom starting off in pretty visitors going to the institution's going into the job I wanted to do for the country

I never well we're

I sure

to conduct regular meeting

and what they are left with a low when they got out

if you go to a meeting I'm not because of them and all you guys yell they'll find

Hey you know what has happened Manley throughout the years throughout the years the recovery management people where they came out of the country man and it is very clean and they call me and they find me and they still call me does the van and I have gotten so many give me about being able to maintain his nickname you'll see

I don't never always share that but as I was thinking about a man whose only happen through service that service process may not that it would be to have unity throughout this country

you know with that

it's really a privilege and honor

you will be asked to come share my little seventeen

someone very dear to me is service recovery

if you're joking

the people who will do this thing called

I don't see a lot of people over fifty you

our early on jumping up

you know remain

nothing that the nuclear

always with the goal time

zero you look

then you will lose this thing

some of you may disagree some of you may very

but what we keep those things by giving back and give it back to the newcomer

I believe

I believe in the process

thank you another added man they said three

I'm going to remote remember more kind of just do a couple things here I had some real good friends band here I came in on the west coast sunshine every day

it is unclear about those go

my friend Jimmy jam from Hollywood and you just follow me all over the country everywhere I go any service in the fellowship Connor kind for them

first time ever since so and people that call in Baltimore to pick them up at the airport in Baltimore in Philadelphia this program all around to go share New Jersey man and he just so **** excited

a little a little like

mark was available to anybody

they looked me up

and I believe the where we are in this country we the

really nothing so important not to help out a little bit and it will be another city I don't know anybody here

all who will mourn and I got my friend shows who's there to pick me up I'll go rent a car out of them because they don't spend no more money man your money does been on the east coast

hello I mean I've done below

I don't know about that until now the global all the wrong places

Apollo right you're not going to know

do you have

the most policies back in southern California I like to give a shout out to my daughter provisions I like to give a shout out man to

the attic manages K. give me the name of the third one day ma'am but you know what I'm gonna come back and keep coming back because I don't need to go nowhere else but this program called America

remained got on this Hollywood thing

you know who I was I was hoping to move up a little bit closer to you know to the head

reporter

every time I do work on the phone

I get down on my knees around the

well it's been so many times before on that floor and I came back and I didn't judge it up with my

my god of my understanding use me as it is for me

to be sure

I can remember where I came from

no no there's somebody in this room tonight here the the

I don't remember when it came from

it is somebody's room tonight manages eighty

yeah I'm here to make you comfortable uncomfortable an uncomfortable comfortable

yeah I put my hands tall man and takes me back man reminds me man but how many times in my head a bit on the side as the movement on the side of the white porcelain man as lava running down my mouth man I just couldn't take it no more reminds me of the time value the paramedics been taken away man then last thing losing

hello I hear the phrase that

many of the time and to vomit

the spirit of man and put it into a valid basis only to try to shake it up to get one more run

remember those times man

today less than cotton balls that are collected man over and over again ma'am

put a middle school trying to get one more you're kind the

yeah my little time's man of crawl around on my hands and knees on the floor may have put in their phone hi to give the illusion

that's what it reminds me of

several tell you man the

I didn't get them all my life

because the narcotics anonymous I'm no longer a victim I'm only volunteer

you know

a water raises thousands Los Altos yet about this stuff so I got a little bit I felt like I was at home again you know what I mean your

and I will move around a little bit I get excited you know I love narcotics and arms I don't know if you love it I love America

man I'm going to

I have a mother Merrill with the heroin addict and a prostitute

hello mother Mandela let me add the babysitter one I never came back again

that's it I don't know nothing about this story until I was three years please tell me that that that we can stay home stay home to foster home to foster home and in those days van what happened is that

it was a like an abandoned child or or which one of these places where the you got paid monthly

me up man from the foster home if you've been to a doctor meanwhile about five six years old man they happen to be a black family

about thirty some years may not try to prove I was black

yeah and the reason why I say that because I know we come up with these rules ban would look if we're trying to find identification in these ideas

hello my user I still came in the room looking for them because I wanted to also bear I want to be a part of something so bad what color were the right

my nationality WO right

my financial situation right with the right medication wasn't right I always thought there was something wrong with me I always thought I had always thought I just did not feel part of nothing

that's why we don't see disunity in the room the narcotics

you know I get upset when we start with the new rules Baptist I think with that area over there we'll be here to kind of madness

thank you

can I get a permit because I've been looking to try to block the way for many many years

we also

we also mail doesn't matter where I come from

my connection was

what color was the natural world

well my sexual preferences were

it didn't matter well you won't know what you would do about you from

yeah said that man was home

even though after the years we keep coming back and I still feel like I'm at home here

and I'm one of those that expanded doesn't matter

I get right in the middle of the yacht I don't think you got a private conversation for me

zero I don't think that you've got other things look going on that I heard before I'm always I'm glad I got young people come in because they keep me up on the

yeah baby tell me about you all the feels they got going on now like if you see and what they do with that stuff you know maybe Philomena

look good I don't think we need to separate ourselves

this is the greatest thing about being a devoted like if they were my opinion you

hello

okay you don't have to take it all but if you keep coming back you'll take also

yeah I believe what you really need to take on a twelve step fellowship

the program was perfectly

good work

growing humans do

this is not the numbers this is mark how to clean up

hello

we need to be always in touch today

I'm also a recovering Catholic

do I want a place to go

you have to reveal

in a whole group meeting in a

in Philly

and it was thought about god awareness

before I came down here are you know every time I hear that we hear in the news room and I really truly believe in this stuff doesn't even the second step of one of the most powerful step in his recovery process I believe when we talk about coming to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

that is the only appear about thirty three through seven what I just shared with you guys about me to the point of the family that we go through on a daily basis even in recovery even after getting clean done even though

you

server that this matters is that everything that happens in the

we don't believe in the power and I think what happens is if that if that will take you more power back

euro enough to get

really easy to get in need overnight

he's real cool when I walked out the door manage visas on me and I think you learn this language

the language of recovery

with justifications rationalizations

yeah I will remain in that room

over the years that I've had a concept of change

you know in in the second step is we talked about I was in the power

and I gotta tell you man I didn't meet you guys I got to the Thursday

six it doesn't talk about guns only talk about a power greater than me and I had the power

yeah

so I say that because they do it

you'll have to put your opinion on me about a god of my understanding

what is the god of your understanding just got a Jones then stole in Portland Maine we run too many people out of the room there with all this stuff

I don't know what I'm going there because I prayed before I came up to me

thank you relevant to

a man who would help movement is that probably kept coming back no longer open to drugs now what are you looking for a movie coming out

the disease but it is a little bit okay

cool

okay

the whole whole new

one of the

I don't want you to get all the

to to be

the disease of addiction the disease although we put more emphasis on this other project to relieve

only do we get caught up in the U. S. all used to give me the night in the digital file through the few government

why would you go anywhere else

well if you look closely you'll

I don't

you know more once you need room so your data

this is the ones you

it was two six feet on the ground the disease adult

it is the is the ones you unhappy but what you would say even in recovery

I will talk about me glad to have you set up in the rooms here are

yeah I've been to Vietnam if you if you if you've been to Vietnam in your

I didn't know better I'd like to welcome you home

the rules

with my with my call

yeah I got you when you talk about your mother

in the room

I want to use I got one up when you talk about the follow

that is what I want to use

six always look for reasons to be angry and I don't know that I need to do some work on me I can articulate respected act like a little skeptical to a fault right

do you

it'll mean

what about

where do you want

tell me how to do that

although we believe all

right

zero

we are one of those three

okay I want to be iceberg slim

our new super fly

yeah you're going to have the always will be I will gladly always going to stand up you know trying to be cool

that would be

I don't know but

right and I wanted to I wonder can I don't wanna be a fly in the third grade our van always look at the outside nothing was bad as **** with you man because mine is the stuff of regal mother these one look at the outside of my disease wants me to have everything looking good on the outside and never really looking to do better than I used to buy cars look good on the outside you didn't work you know

I do

brutal man

and we lived down the block in the build up smoking

their man in the car with did it and I got all the stars shine removed without going back to work

but the darn thing

you will

move along

always

well I came into the phone mail from our guys you know the ones that I was able to return to my disease it wasn't so I was able to start working on me

does it work as a relief for the middle class

I don't know man I I don't get it some of the things I need to talk about

a local downtown Los Angeles Skid Row thank you this is the is the is the homeless area downtown Los

thirty six years of age

I went down there they everybody who like cardboard do you know if I had a cardboard box I didn't have one I used somebody else's

because the other one that I had a problem

yeah

the

this guy

only the only way you let me come in and hang out

hello bring little thumbs up you know

going out we will go you said you had to get out and go get some

and I don't mean that in the run around town because I thought it was the most use of good I've been to jail about about twenty thirty times and I never had to do prison time but I'll go in and out of jail all the time with a limited to society

I was always one legal aid goodbye that was always around the situation

and always look like all the perpetrator hello

trader rather you know

what I would call big game about what you know for a few days talk like I've been in jail for ten years

I will tell you about me

yeah

it was the one thousand man because I was down there pumping gas and I will go to

every other day and act like because I had a group of three fifty seven magnum I used to keep right

hello look you don't know me

what is the address

the end of the day I wouldn't put it in your

without a date hello

no man came in the house the young man who came to a track on the table and the ladies of the night rose to table the third round and pick it up live off the floor as the revival kill a bit

Australian every day

good men angry inside didn't upset

change

parable about myself you know and love

bill Russell was able to grow dresses table and everything I have to win this is a good chance to be the owner of the gun you know okay so I can give is going to give me a little bit of some problems with my hands up

well what happened was that has to do with it okay

he'll bring L. Duffy

there are things

I would feel really terrible make that job down to a hundred fifty pounds of basis until my house down on the back of the guy who did it work for you

you will like it too you know

it will help the man is that the do drop rocks on the cable man arrested cable man in the

and I felt as gunmen a pulled his gun out man I'll go give it to do in the process of bringing out appointed as

his hands were everybody else lives without a don't nobody move

right

when when when the when the smoke was going through the things I did everything that the math in the mail

it's a broken gun man

we will kill me behind this stuff right hello

the way he moment

the moment of desperation the mobile no where else to turn one more thing

we don't want to feel down here anymore

I'm not

to do that but for me that was in the mall

you know what I do is I go outside I don't know who to come out

you come out thank you

right

I got the

I want to go sure

the original with the VA hospital

when I got to the hospital man and plus also my hasn't opened in flyers then it would do some for you gotta go problem right

so I got to the V. eight I went into the V. a man on the run and I was scared of sweat and everything man about the blues room on my back I thought everybody was chasing email and everything and I got up in the in the place van enough I went up to the nurses station manager look

I got a small cocaine from money somewhere to sleep tonight

this is our new north

Hey ladies you got a group go through emissions we gotta go do the valuation and everything look at this small cocaine prices just tonight let me see if you did not have to go out and doing that time those veterans band it was trying to get it on and had a little kids out all of the hospital

and I went into the into the yard and it was due to her to Jimi Hendrix music in the background of the doom is still looking for incoming to step in and does it every day

and I don't know

he was over there

yeah

I don't think it will be a second

I'm sorry

about the breaking point

no problem yeah I'm still

what do you want me to go

G.

all right no

let

the number give a little bit

you know I mean

the reality that was certainly

and I got

that's what I would do is set up to smoking a report about the only people who really believe you gave it to me and I have a

hello

I don't know

on this program when you think you've got to do something

one of those files

right now you don't do nothing when you don't know what to do

but you got to do something like well step I gotta do you gotta do this we gotta do that but we gotta do something comes up

it is what it is but just to remind you of the

reservoir

what do I do now

just a little better

the best of the also the policy of the store for a bottle in a paper bag I went to the VA hospital I looked around the front of the security guy

plus I got

Hey you know

the recipe is shot the

are you know what before we

the doctor put it in a month for you

he told me he gonna be alright

no one for the first time in my life but I had to tell you that I'm with you so mad if I don't give a damn how many jobs I've come to the podium how many of those are the four steps how many times I call my phone

you'll never know what I would give you the narcotic and non zero

I would

in the process in the moment

and then when I moved here about four years after the civil war

you know what on the mobile right welcome to one because for the first time in my life

remember all the lives of all the movies and all that **** don't **** get it all

got a story to

zero

you know what you want to do here

hello

go anywhere else

the reality is

I was out there on on

a real achievement the

no data

so you don't have the

you are

well you know what the problem is that your problem hello

instead of the three rooms that are managed I got all

I got a I got the flu can get really close I got someone got a hair cut I wash my hands to sleep so

hello I'm brushing my teeth regularly now I mean food daily star to pick up the win I got no problem

hello

all these people from

you know this is a little bit he told me that you know what they don't know the fellowship with Europe you're talking about having my problem either go together because they're a little every corner

zero so I could

the man

so so what I did is I

I love

leave it is going to go

there yeah can't do them both

I would like to tell me to look

I got a a community of narcotics anonymous nightmare before you really want to go to the panel I listen to the speech

did you know that we need a panel

I didn't hear anonymous her narcotic

the most

and although somebody over panel that would give me the narcotics

I got going on here

remember that Google

all you jolly people

going on around here yeah thank you notes that appear

so I'm not sure if it's free learning help without nothing

thirty six years old

yeah

hello Sunday is the money

LOL and I would go mad on her mother's door

let's see I don't know if we could we could double back around your mail we keep going in the door the week he's doing research on ourselves that we can with our sponsor we keep your people sit around the process

we are sure

the number that there was a guy that does so much never never never seen an attic again

for them it's almost over let them tell them a story man they look kind of like me and I know I'm

well we're not here because so many similarities lie beyond the bigger you'll my long lost brothers somebody

I don't know all this about me

your email to me that the value of that throughout history check this out man

what's your last name

did you might be here with me one my long lost relatives and everything and he did want a little smirk at half the things he said you know my last name is that it thank you coming back

I got my first resistant in recovery you know

so you know

if you don't give you a reason you know if your resume as well everyone's got to care if you don't you get off the

yeah

yeah they relied on a little bit back to the room I'm leaving here with somebody Graham is a please don't leave and all that other stuff do they really didn't want to go nowhere

you know if I will do is that you won't have to leave

quite yet but I gave him the thing

well the guy told me more people to meet with

so for

just go to meet with so we're going off the ground so I brought

at the meeting men that they were doing some kind of basic study man it was going to be fixed and it was talking about ready for it and the guy was here about the three bridge to god grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

the second change people places and things

he said give him courage to change myself

for the first time then you know I was thinking about that they believe that he is

hello courage to change myself yeah I never want to judge I would always try to be somebody for you

I was always wanting you to accept me I was always thinking you with the proper

zero I always wanted to do what I want you to do

I don't know courage will try to change me the sun do some for me because of the person you must be so I try to be more responsible in my life

hello we want to do nothing for me

this whole thing men are I believe that the data believe it now and I always believe that show a month of the year

give me the wisdom

the low the difference between the disease of addiction and recovery

the

you know just a little bit a little bit later we say we gather up we get this energy together and we talk about that man soul soul would put them in search of the with I'm sick in reserve the know the difference between the disease and recovery and I gotta tell you with fourteen absolutely I'm still having a problem

yeah that's what I have to keep coming back I think he should need rooms where I have to keep share which are looking into your

yeah I can help you as far as the mayor keep up with the new government thank you for the wisdom to know the difference between the disease and recovery

all

I live

then out the door

I will become

I knew nothing

that's my closest to recover with no because you know that's not in my process of being able to go here and get involved into this program I got involved in this state lock stock and barrel I got right in the middle of narcotics number I started going to meetings every day I started being served everyday I started talking **** I started callin you a challenge well I challenge everybody

I would do a world service office I live in California they set up my office I would have been wrong

well the problem is that I'm always willing to say something I don't agree with that

I would love to this day

if you know run the program going this is your program

zero thank you it's always been about two the only way you can not the other thing is that with you and then

talking about

well

would you have chosen

the

when did we

Barclays the bread

he will

I got a whole group

M.

I World services are more but I feel

I'm not into politics anymore hello I'm into the recovery process

the person and I'm sure that with you ma'am let me tell you what we have here with me

hello I have a lot of time and we got to get on to that for me please so we need to come in and show you that I have grown up with you just put it there with

let me tell you about the

and we know you know I got

okay

I got around the program mail from also broke it's good to get a big truck

I got a report of a man

you should be able to people really

well the Medical Center in

it goes

yes I will use

one hello I think I'll use

I love my job I better go use

AKP mobile I think you

my girlfriend left me thank god will use

hello today my eyes will you

check it

you should be

okay spoke with former fed

hello

turn around here

well you do that thought they should use the day to go out of

well that they don't want to deal with

I'm not allowed to become a bank loan of this is all about finance the roaming

you know

how do we deal with that

it is accepted about your defense

well you don't know immature about evaluating will never be able to get in and then the kids be picked them up so they can't be that much closer to the point believe a man that is depicted here do this without me I don't condone anything that I got you would have to be six seven years around this program I had a very the financial security around here I started

it will be okay

and one more time I got myself caught up in may it would back approval comfortable shoes

and behind and then I got my hands that my god just let my hand got me back into the process

the

that's a miracle for me I don't know about you but that's once it is then you should know what to do with what you have to explain it because I got back in the process and I got started doing things that I was supposed to be doing around this thing and start helping you comes again I got involved in that process I had a little baby girl a little baby girl people heard about this story before

he was born member of three months ahead of time and I had to sort of process

I believe my mother would come back to me

a little girl

some of the little

well beyond belief

zero

not sure what you mean a little bit this is going to be five years old on March thirty first right if you feel the joy of my life

hello

she is the mother of the the lead but I always want to get a bigger because this little girl

her mother and I are going to the war

yeah relationships will always work around here but they do get better if you keep coming back

so I don't I don't

the three months of bad no more okay and I don't believe I mean three lovely human being that either either verbally

it will happen then I would refuse to force man I'm going to have to work it out I'm taking responsibility for my actions

hello my child support I'm showing up my childhood there was never no one there for me

macho man

your CV she killed a man she would be up in the morning would you stay with me all my all my time to do much at Rosemont please tell me that your skin is beautiful

he was someone

you

I love you so much

I talked to on the phone because sure

we do a good job

we'll inform voters got a loving caring

she had the issue of the star hotels okay maybe he was the school man and if you have a makeup kit

well you know sure you know I've got a hip stuff you know

if you're looking for work okay

you know we may know

I would

and I'm in good

really don't work

your

even though I'm going through a divorce and everything I believe that I don't need to be sorry about nothing

you will go forward

with both of them we don't know what that is

with the bed together which are what about his own should go through I'm working tomorrow

she

I'm not

what

she gave me a beautiful daughter ma'am

zero

it'll it'll you know what I'm going to do is get a man to show a man as my guide to see what you want from me in front of the store download for me anyway

yeah I'm dating today

I want to marry me just because you know

in the build up to move into the water joking me

we always want to be a joke I don't want to be put in court

you know I'm going to the show room holding hands and talking on the phone and we don't know something from

it was

do

it was beautiful about this process

well known for the pleasure of

all the

you know I also from another marriage

they don't deal with all that stuff okay I run from

well

we really don't know

W. F.

we are