The 12-step Happening in Reykjavik, Iceland

or telling the Breville speaker that isn't common last

good

well I think I just called you officiate or something I'm not sure

I got this little Icelandic phrase book and I've been carrying around for three weeks studying this stuff and I'm always afraid that I'm gonna say something offensive and so I just leave it in my pocket like this but anyway although I walk out there on the limb some

our guys I haven't met my name is Myers Roemer and I'm an alcoholic

I took my last drink on January fifteenth eighty eight and there's a lot of people in my life that was real glad that I did

I have to say now before so so I I'm I'm afraid I'll forget at the end of this deal I cannot tell you how blessed we are to be here and what a true experience it's been

Peter in these guys at the sober house and and and these you know it's a weird deal we were

I don't experience this very often I can only think of one other time in my whole life that I've ever experienced the stuff we've been here for three days and I told Chris this morning I says I'm gonna we believe in here I have met so many cool people who were doing the deal who I felt instantly connected to within the fellowship we're always always supposed to feel that way but the truth of the matter is is that oftentimes it takes time to get to know somebody and this kind of stuff buddy I just I just wanna pick all of the up like this and carry it back to Texas I do which is

a little crowded in the plane but damn it would be great when we got there you know

of

I want to thank Peter for his talk on Friday night Smoove Peter we're going to call in

what is the sync way of putting that stuff you see I can spend as much time flounder around as he can say and what he wants to say this is this is good and Chris last night it's always a scream I've heard Chris a thousand times I I I grew up with him I got drunk with him I do not we got loaded together

yeah the funny part about listening to Chris talk is this stuff I know you guys kind of take it for granted because you just met him but I knew him when he was a knife wielding maniac I mean I knew him when he was so goofy that you didn't even want to be around I mean if he lived with me and he used to bring these beasts home these women that just

you can imagine what our household was like I've got this this what this wife that that loves me and and and and is getting very nervous around my alcoholism and and Chris is living with me and he's full blown in his alcoholism and I've got this got this little daughter that's four years old and and she's all freaked by the whole deal and and it means that place is just it's just a nut house it and to see the way things are today it's an amazing deal it's it's it's appealing contrasts of where we were and where we are now

we talked yesterday morning in this

when we were talking about J. R. workshop about

Chris is experience and for a lot of you guys you're you're tough part of recovery was before you got here you know it was tough getting today well you know what my deal was so simple Chris grabbed me by the hand and says come on you knucklehead let's go to a a and that was it I've got one sobriety date January fifteenth of eighty eight he took me to my first meeting you say he had been so over two months

any hobby into this meeting now

but I know that some of you are just like me though in that once you got day things didn't get real swell you know I mean if you take booze out of the picture things were going to get some better right they they do

but

and for a while around our house things did get better we had we had good times and and and and I'm not in that case anymore and I'm going to work and I'm you know we're we're trying to rebuild the life and and and my wife seven little babies left and right now it's just I mean it would

we're three girls tell me god doesn't have a sense of humor you know

I run I run into the lives of women single and then what I get when I get married three daughters to watch over

life is good

and so

for a couple years in our in our group and everything went great and I gotta tell you this kind of stuff in it in it because I've talked to so many people that went through the same thing that I went through you say middle of the road solution you know what that's talking about now right middle road solution that the B. S. the the the war story stuff the disk open discussion meetings ad nauseam all of this this stuff will you can you can stay in a relief area of recovery for a long long time you see just not drinking is better than being a drunk you see but it is not the freedom that we seek it's not the freedom that we want to see but for so many of us we miss that part because nobody ever showed us that there was another way I was not around anybody that exemplified freedom in alcoholism a freedom in in in AA they all stick got home up in the fellowship part of the picture you understand how that stuff is you know

in short order in a couple of years I'm convinced that recovery

from the disease of alcoholism is about going to as many meetings as you can go to and getting as many friends and drink a lot of coffee and tell a lot of off color jokes and you know what I'm saying it was just staying busy doing that kind of stuff

well the problem is if you're real deal alcoholic like I am

you'll run out there down rain some and then you just might run out of steam you see then the meetings how many of you guys

I need some hands how many you guys have ever gone to an a a meeting and left more screwed up than when you went

see see and this is the deal and so we go and we we sit in the meetings get goofy and there's no solution and we know there's no solution deep inside we know there's no solution but we don't know what else to do we're terrified that we're going to go back and drink or use again so we'll just stay and we'll just keep coming

what happens to a lot of us and that's the reason why success rates have gotten so bad within our fellowship worldwide it's not it's not just here it's every place is that is that we run out of steam and we get sicker and sicker untreated alcoholism you think that the discussion meeting the open discussion meeting and those crazy meetings do not treat the spirituality they do not treat that internal condition this kick in your rear you see and that's what's so devastating about the deal and so we do what we have to do we get sicker and sicker and sicker and you we have no choice but to treat our alcoholism and how does a good drug treats alcoholism he gets drunk

he gets strong or use as you see and that's why it's so tragic you see and then it becomes you would come

this creeps up because you're terrified now of what's happening you know that the solution is not in the meeting that you're in and so you go what do I do I don't you see I'm convinced that most people would go back out don't want to drink the juice was no solution there they had no choice but to bring Bronx drink that's what we do I'm never surprised I got guys a sponsor with a call me in the middle of March you'll never guess what happened and I'm going I can hear this gal's high heel shoes on top of the bar someplace he's in some strip club someplace I'm going yeah I know exactly what happened man I know exactly what happened the middle of the road solution kick your **** and your back there again you see

so imagine if you will how crazy I'm Feelin it seven years over seven years from my last drink at my last drug

and it's all coming apart Chris is now moved away he doesn't live with us anymore he lives down the hill country so he's three hundred miles back down toward the center part of Texas and and and I'm still going to be sick meeting six meetings a week and I'm still going just trying to hold it together but I'm I'm just unraveling everything about my life I can't stand my job I cannot stand the woman I'm married to I cannot stand those kids I've just

this spiritual stuff is just choking me to death you see and every day the thought of of suicide the thoughts of drinking the thoughts of justice gaping this whole thing becomes so real to me you see I never scouts honor I never thought about killing myself when I was drinking before I sobered up

but it's seven but it's seven years sober it's all I can think about it is the only solution that seems to be a solution

you see so I go when I we we we we got these L. seven elevens are like little ice houses I guess you guys got to hear a little grocery stores and and I'm standing in front of this beer cooler in this lady's tapped me on the shoulder going Hey Mister are you gonna get some are not and I just kind of went like isn't and I realized where I was you seek I had no business being there I'm just gonna check out in front of his glass cooler looking at these twelve packs of beer you see I don't know how long I've been standing there but obviously it was long enough to hack this lady often she says you know get out so I mean it just get I had no business being there guys I'm not they're picking up age look at the pier I got no reason to be in that store except to get drunk I'm very close to my drink

and I went back home and I call Christmas at Chris you may you gotta help me again buddy I'm dying here

this is happy joyous and free he's got to plug into a bunch of big book bumpers and he's got a great sponsor he's doing a deal like this and the contrast is so real you can taste it

so

Chris Chris says don't do anything stupid and I'm gonna be in Dallas for a a a talk in two three days and and I'll see if we will ask around I'll see if I can find you a literature based meeting and all by the way this is what Chris told me on the phone by the way haven't I been telling you for three years to get out of that group

yeah yeah

but you understand that everybody in here that sobered up in a group you understand what that allegiance is to that group you feel so tied to those people your friends are your buddies they know everything about you you love these men and women and you cannot stand the thought of leaving and going someplace else you say even if you know your diet

that that that that draw is so strong well

I got a look here second see

I did notice what time I started out I want to talk over I'm so sorry I guess I'd wait for the smokers start edging toward the door and I know it's time

sixty seconds click and thirteen people had that great

so

so quickly this is what happens I'll make a quick pick up of the Chris comes to town to get hooked up with these good with this group of big book bumpers and Chris called me and he says buddy I got the guy go see this man

hello Chris you know I'm kind of busy and I you know I I'll just

Chris is let me get this straight

a week ago you're suicidal and you think you're going to use you can get a check out and now you're telling me you're too busy to go call this man will screw you you say I mean it's kind of like that any given any says he says here's his name and telephone number do what you want to do when I go see this guy and I'm not going his door and the door opens and here's this crusty old guy standing there

and he looks at me and he looks down and he looks back up like this and he goes where's your big book

and I said well Mister bishop I don't know where my big book is I haven't seen it for years

and he says well here's mine don't ever come back over here without it

yes Sir now at this point I'm looking his his supporters like this and I'm looking at my car out on the street I'm going I can really get in the car and I'd be out here just like that C. I know that I'm getting ready to walk into uncharted waters for this old boy

so I can I get in there and he starts taking me through the work and and and it's quick and it's fast and it's not painless but it's embarrassing you see because I'm seven years sober and I'm having to admit to this old dude

I didn't admit it at first but he figured it out I didn't know I didn't know anything about what's in that big book and that's why when we talk to you guys and I and I if you don't pick up anything from this weekend what I'm praying that you'll pick up is that you are responsible for your recovery the book tells us that we placed ourselves beyond human aid it's true your group is not going to keep you sober your body is not going to keep you sober your sponsors not gonna keep you sober

god's gonna keep you sober and the only way I know of that effectively get you free of the crap and get you cleared way to god is this big book and you got to know what's in it you cannot be spoon fed a a you cannot be

you know what I'm saying

you can't you see and that's why why why it sold itself usually important that you have a big book and that you know what's in it and then when you go into that sick meeting and Sally sue starts talking about something goofy you know it's not a you know it's not in this big book you see I didn't know that people kept talking about stuff and I go yeah yeah that sounds bitchy may not like that yeah yeah and the whole time I'm thinking it's in here you see and so when it comes time for this man to stick out his hand and say would you please help me with this work Michael yeah yeah well let me tell you what Sally sue told me one time and I start telling her telling him about this goofy stuff but she said it sounds great

it's Shelly sumi me any malice or any harm when she told me that no no but it was not a message with depth and weight it was not our message it was not our solution

it was Sally sue's groovy opinion about what recovery was about

and the saddest part of that stuff is is guys my doctrine in AA became Sally sue's groovy opinion

and bobs and bubbles and Joseph and you you got the picture right I have this big collective mass of of crap it's guaranteed to kill you it's guaranteed

so it its basic form what this big book is is a bullshit sifter

it is it's a crap sifter what we do is is that we take everything we hear in Alcoholics Anonymous and NC a and some of our sister fellowship we take everything that we hear and we sifted through the words in this book and we find out what's truth and what's opinion and the opinion may be great we may be able to use it in certain aspects of our life but it is not the solution that will separate you from the drink or the drugs it is not what takes this to the freedom that we see

and so that's why it was so important well so picture this situation now I'm sitting in a meeting quiver takes me to my first meeting at primary purpose group V. finest a group in the world I might add and

you knew I was gonna say that

and they're all big book bumpers and they're all we have nothing but discussion meetings I mean nothing but but literature based meetings like this but it sounded weird when I said that we have we have nothing but literature base meetings I'm going wait a minute we don't have any discussion meetings as you know

what we have is we have three meetings a week

and we're going to study the big book at every meeting

and I'm just gonna look at the ceiling he says I bet you think you're going to be bored spent was right and I said you know what Clifford that's exactly what I was just thinking I think in that I'm going to be bored in six months to two years and he said well maybe will be maybe will be but my experience of doing this for the last sixteen or seventeen years studying every meeting that we have is that life will get more and more exciting and you won't believe what happens to your life

okay so by now I'm believing everything clicked says it least I'm willing to entertain the thought that he's not going to bullshit me about this stuff and he's going to tell me the truth and so I'm going to well if three meetings a week is okay why don't we have another meeting every week I mean every night why don't we have this every day and he goes because you have a responsibility and I'm going yeah I work and have three daughters age no no no if you have a responsibility day and coming to our three meetings a week is not it your responsibility is to take what you learn here and go find a drunk

now now there is a novel idea

you see the book tells us from the title page all the way over to the end of this thing

there are responsibility is to have a psychic change and then go carry that message to another broker another at that's what it's telling us you see but we conveniently worldwide we conveniently taken that part out of the picture you see and we become very self centered and focused on our cell phone this stuff and we read this thing our responsibility is to sober up period end of story

that's not it you say and so this is the lesson this is the most valuable lesson Alcoholics Anonymous that I learned was that

so I'm over it primary purpose group now for two years so now I've been sober what is that nine years now and I'm so much better guys I cannot tell you how things have changed in my life as a direct result of being there for those two years but I'm still we were sitting in a meeting or not

yeah you kind of just look at people's faces you know when you're in a meeting and I can kind of look around like this and I'm noticing that these guys are different from me still I'm seeing things in their face that I'm not feeling in me

and I'm going

you know it's not me I

it's like

we're doing the same thing we're studying the work I'm getting the information this gets cut next to me we know the same stuff this girl over here we know the same stuff

but I look in her eyes and she's flat on fire she's flat on fire and you can see it yeah you can feel it you can feel a vibrating I touch your shoulder and you can tell that she's that she's healthy

and so I pull Clifford aside after the meeting we walked in this little part of thing off the side of this meeting and I said Clifford I need to ask you a question I said you know what I'm different from these guys are not

you need to shake his head yes and I said

Clifford tell me why it is that I can't seem to get this and he said Marty said I tell you what I've been telling you for two years what you need to do and you simply won't listen

I never said I was smart I just

I'm also real air get and I'm here I'm I'm I'm real I get real contemptuous of things you see I want to judge something before I experience it you see I'll judge you in a heartbeat I'll judge I'll judge programs in a heart beat with it which is just crazy you say and he said I've been telling you from day one what your responsibility what is your primary purpose in Alcoholics Anonymous and I said yes to carry the message and I he said yes why are you doing that and I said well I'm here all the time he says no no no

you we got a group full of people that have recovered they don't need what you got I mean they they already have it you know they're already well

and he said you see that list up on the board and I said what do you mean that speaker listing at the gala and he says why aren't you signed up every week to go to some of these wind up joints

and I said well I

good for I'm a busy guy got three daughters

and and and and I swear

I love Clifford like a dead end he he he looked at me and he said Myers you you really need to just go away you know I see it he said see I love you and I want you to stay but I don't want to see you stay and die and that's what will happen here if you don't go

and I said well what do you want me to do any sort of what you go to salvation army Wednesday night and carry a big book message over there and he knows how I hate the salvation army I do

I

I'd I'd rather talk anywhere than salvation army I do I love it now I go every Sunday night to the salvation army I I love it now but in those days it's this sea of black men who have we just can't seem to it's just I'm judging them in their judging me and it's just a nightmare and so I said okay Clifford if that's what it takes I'll go now the reason I'm telling you this stuff your guises because this is the path that everyone of us walk everybody that picks up a big book of Alcoholics Anonymous everybody that's in a fellowship of C. A. R. in a is faced with this dilemma

I'm excited as I can be to be sober I am filled with with with gratitude about being here gratitude is an action word guys and the thing about it is is that the smiles I see here will not last if you don't carry this message it will knock

and I love every one of you and you can trick pretend I'm your big brother man and I'm telling you the truth

you'll you'll run down range and the steam will lead out of you and the spiritual stuff will just fall by the wayside and you'll be going what happened to it what happened to that Sunday morning when we were all jazzed up you see I'll tell you what happened to it you selfish self centered son of a gun I'll tell you exactly what happened

you took the greatest gift that god ever gave man a chance to help somebody else free themselves of this stuff

and you kept to yourself

and there is nothing in this whole wide world it'll kick your **** faster than that selfishness and self centeredness you say and that's what Clifford in those guys have been trying to tell me our group conducts twenty three meetings a week outside of the three meetings that we have every night of the week our group is out carrying a message of recovery to some wind at joint to some saw some hospital some jail some something hundreds of us out there doing this stuff our group what time we figured it out talk to almost eight hundred people a week

in the message from this book you say

because it was so important to understand and once you understand the concept that you that's your job and you get back and look at the book again you realize that every page screams that word every page tells you that that's what your responsibility is you see if you have your big book

let me just read this to you real quick

step twelve

which you all know by heart

but I want you to listen to this

having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we try to carry this message to alcoholics and blah blah blah

the first line of this thing having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps we tried to carry this message

what was the message we're supposed to carry

that we've had a spiritual awakening that's how simple could that be you guys that are very crawfish in away from twelve step work because you're afraid what are you afraid of it's set right there what we're going to do it's what you got a job to do your marching orders today is to get plugged in with somebody go through the work had that so I could change that spiritual awakening and then go carry that message the new god wants to know what that what that sparkle is in your eyes you see

early A. eight the reason they were so successful is that they didn't get watered down and fragmented with all this other stuff they didn't get all the other issues involved I didn't get all the other stuff they didn't give a rat's beauty how bad your day was they didn't care you see what they cared was his this man had a psychic changed yet and if he hasn't why that's what we want to know when I when I'm working with guys guys that I sponsor god bless everyone of them when I sponsor those guys I only want to know two things

how much time did you spend with god today and how much time did you spend in the message of recovery to another alcoholic yet I don't care about your crappy day I don't care about your screwed up relationship I really don't give a rats you know what about your job

I mean I do on one level guys I mean I'm not I'm not trying to be an **** about the stuff I do on one level

but in the big picture I really don't care because in the bigger picture

as you get healthier as you get plugged in I've never seen it fail you show me a man it's plugged into god and makes a commitment to go out and find some place every week that they can go carry the message and I'll show you a man that has no job problems and has no relationship problems and has no problems at all

I'm not making light of the problems guys scouts honor I'm not making light of them I understand life looms large and things get complicated and some of our lives get really tore up at times but the book keeps telling us over and over and over again that it will submit to a simple program of action

thank god will solve all our problems and not just the booze and not just the drugs you see

it's an amazing thing to say the two common thread that runs through our big book our our our our willingness and action and look at how many times those themes are repeated in the book as you read through there we know you're here today we assume that everybody here wants to take the necessary action I mean take the necessary we we we know that you're willing because you're here you say what separates the men from the boys what separates the people to get hung up in the fellowship and those that are willing to get involved in the program is this thing about action

the amazing thing

I'll go talk to a group in Dallas not mine but I'll go talk to another group in Dallas and and afterwards will die and I'll talk about the same stuff I'll talk about how important it is to get commitments and go out to Kerry what we know to be the truth to a recovering to somebody trying to recover and

and afterwards I'll have fifteen men come up afterwards and say can you tell me where you go to hear the message and I got a list I got it I carry with me assist complete here it is there they are

all the places that we go here the times here's my telephone number call me and we'll go

well when you go next well this is Monday night we go Wednesday night I go to hell I go to a place called homeward bound which is it Skid Row wind a joint on Wednesday night have been for six years

and I say come with me and they go I've heard a million times they go well you mean this Wednesday both of you know in there it is and I'm going yeah yeah yeah

have a nice life you ****

I hate it just drives me to distraction you see we what we do is we we walk lockstep right up to the point to where the freedom is and we stopped

it's like this you see everything you want in life everything you dreamed of in life everything your wife wanted everything your Daddy and mama wanted everything you wanted is right there

and we stop

just short of it is safe and I just want to reach out to grab and jerking through they will come you say you have to understand

freedom in this deal is like a big old fire right

I love the far today

it's like a bagel fire it's like and and everybody within the fellowship is dancing around the outside of the fire but in order to be free you have to go through the fire and yeah it's weird in there but when you come out the other side you're completely changed completely changed you say go to the fire do what you have to do to go through this stuff study the book had that so I could change and then go through the state and once you're on the other side you'll go

son of a **** this is the coolest stuff I've ever experienced and you get it you know

well we'll talk about that I want to relate a couple of Astoria story because I think that the stories tell you in a better way of

what happens in these cases when these guys will submit to to do this deal quickly on teh there was this guy named Terry

then I met

Chris is her distorted you go smoke up

there

Terry was a terror was up a street guy in oak cliff cliff is a kind of a real rough area of Dallas N. N. he was living on the street and he was sleeping in the back of a pickup truck that somebody left on the side of the road in the middle of summer in a bug city this guy up and he had just a pair of shorts on that's all he had he was drunk in a in a game a bunch of hoods founding one night laying in the back of his pickup and they drug him out of the back of his pickup by his ankles and his face was the first thing that hit the ground

so imagine if you will I'm talkin if this treatment place and we're stepped in it this little podium thing like this and I got these guys out here and I'm looking across at the spaces of these busted up drunks and I look over here and here's Terry with his red hair sticking up like this it looks like a durable it looked at all out of place it was just kind of like this any spaces all bloody like this in his teeth are gone

and the guy just looks like a mess and I'm thinking

I I'm not that healthy in my arrogance I'm thinking god don't let that man asked me to sponsor

he was just so scary looking I mean he just you know

well you guessed it a god had better plans and other plans and afterwards this man makes a bee line to me and he says I'm going to die if I don't get some help it sounds to me like you know what you're doing would you carry me through this work and I said yeah

thanks

well this is the program a rigorous honesty what I really did was I went yeah

it was not real clean and a

so we go do this stuff in an egg

Terry did have a big book and I gave him the big book and he starts reading the stuff and we start working through the work now I'm going out there with after the next day and I spent three hours with him reading through the book and we kind of got through his his his first second third stepped up and and everything is going great and and we get ready for the inventory and I'm thinking you know this is what most guys watch out if their middle road to kind of guys they'll get to the inventory part they'll say well you know I'm busy and you know what that bad after all and they're gone you see

Jerry called me two days later

and from the tree replaced and he's goddess inventory Danny wants me to come do it

and I'm I'm gonna tell you the truth I'm going damn this is what I hoped would wash out you know because he's just so unlovable he just so we we get out there I I do these I used to do these these these here the fifth steps we added hundreds of fish steps in this park out there by the way I got to tell you when it's time to sit out there and always sit out there and on days when it was cold which hit my truck in here these get these cats visit and then one day I looked up in the river here and there was a police car behind me and I'm watching him and we're there for like two hours in this police car still sitting behind me like this and finally I can't take anymore I said Hey but just hang on to say this is not here in the call to somebody else and I get out and walk around and I have that please visit is there a problem he said we don't know we're just trying to figure this stuff out you know that you got your always out here with these guys and you're always sitting your truck for a long time and we can't figure it out

Adam

some of the things we have to go through to do

so anyway so anyway did today were sitting outside now I gotta tell you this

I'm not I'm not gay but I gotta tell you this I flat fell in love with Terry that day

fears there was this we're set at this park branch and and and he's facing he's looking over my shoulder this way in the sun is setting behind me and the sun is shining in this guy's eyes and I go this guy's got the damn his green eyes you've ever seen in your life and if the tree replaced a mating cut his hair so short just a few short red hair in these green eyes and when he closes his mouth he looks just looks great

but he starts talking to you guys you have to understand how this is less than a week from when he was pulled out of that truck okay and so he is sitting there at this park bench tell me his fist up and we're going through this stuff and you see it all this truth and he's seeing the stuff like this and we get finished esoteric tell me what you just saw tell me what you know now that you didn't know before he said Myers well I see that I'm a selfish self centered son of a **** and I made lots of bad decisions based on fear and selfishness and I went

that's it it's every sponsors prior

then again I will see that truth you see Terry realized that the booze what's his problem in the drugs what's his problem he's a selfish self centered guide is full of fear and he makes all kinds of goofy decisions based on that and that's where the drama of his life came from he didn't come from the blues that's why so many of us when we stop drinking we get sicker and sicker in the drama continues because we still got the selfishness and self centeredness and the fear of kicking our **** you see and we gotta get rid of that and that's what the inventories about because if you can see that you can identify it if you can identify it you can take it to god step six and seven and you can get clear of it and there is no feeling in the world greater than knowing that you've got an iron clad picture for the first time in your life you've got a picture of what you really are and sometimes it is a very pretty you know it's sometimes it's not I simply could not look at myself in the mirror when I did my first step with cliff bishop I think it was I couldn't were weeks I could not look at myself in the mirror because I realized

the illusion is it the booze is my problem and I only affect me you know and we know how crazy that crap is you say

so Terry does the work and he starts this thing of coming to our meeting Terry has no car so yes take a bus oak cliff is twenty five miles twenty miles from where a meeting holy as he rides the bus there he rides the bus back after the deal he doesn't feel he's he's he he's willing to go to any length and he knows what he has to do you see any told me one day he says I need to learn more because I can't help anybody but with with what I know and I'm going for

no okay no kidding Terry and and so he starts doing this stuff well Terry comes in one day since March I need to borrow five dollars from your to Terry I already told you I don't loan money to drugs and he said it's important and I'll have it back to you tomorrow assist deal and I'll only five Bucks

the next day when he came in he had a bucket and a little squeegee and little pal and he's dropped off by the front door and we had a meeting after the meeting he started not for the bus and he's got this bucket in this little squeegee and this deal and esoteric where you going he said I got a job to do I sent a job you're still in treatment what do you mean and he says well I got this gig washing windows and

I need some money I need money so I can get a car so I can hold drunks

I said

sounds like a good plan to me man let's see what happens this like this and so what Jerry does is Terry in lists the help of two three other guys in treatment and they got this little window washing deal any came in one day and he says check it out dude and he hands me a card a business card and it's got his name on it Terry somebody another window washer and I thought I think this is just the coolest you see what I'm saying

there's not **** in his bunk lamenting over the fact that he's got a screwed up face now

and that he's homeless Terry got off his rear and started taking the necessary action to get better he submitted to a process that was going to take him someplace else you see

make a long story short Terry grew and grew and grew and he starts sponsor these guys in those days they kept those guys ninety days at home about and by the end of ninety days Terry was sponsoring five guys and he's got these little guys and he's carrying these meetings and he's tearing the stuff in the house he's just doing terrific