The 11th gay/lesbian Live & Let Live Roundup in Kansas City, MO

right now all right

really in some ways

eleven years apart

our mother died when she was about to

my life very well

Byron was the one that

or the current

lifestyle

my older brother

my

about an hour maybe a little

the work

great

but I'm not writing

he wants

my story is my story

right

I never have

hello

I'm not sure how I feel about

right

some of it is

the new year and even more

it doesn't interest me at all

I'm going to try to be organized

there's a smaller

we're still around

what is

organized

and I'm gonna give you a quick background which helped organize

and I will tell you about some of my

right

also

it wasn't all that long and then I will tell you how I got the main part of my story Israel

I'm not interested in it

over and over and what is happening in my life

because you know horrible

and then suddenly stopped

Johnson lost in the sooner or later

oh my god I woke up in the middle of my life

or I for one reason or another

actually

or

alcohol but nothing is

the cleaners

all right all right

all right

when I left

South America

I thought it was

I grew forty

I was somebody that was five years ago

when I did work with

something

that's something that I

but I was

yeah right

hello

having

all right

I was not exactly

my mother

it's been pretty obvious almost anyone moment where this was all probably even in the forties

you know all about

ninety

a certain another was excited about it

Christmas

it's going on there

yes

during that coincides with my

right

remember it was worse when you went

Arizona Illinois military

it was called the builders of

you're in business

anything

California

Michael

these were the years when I was sixteen

the horror

even though some of them are pretty conventional

in four years and like most people do now

our

and I

the score

seven nine thirty seven

building of my career

well

in some article

I was

that was all the

I also

like

with a lot of

it was wonderful and I bought a house for

and then in nineteen eighty eight it was quite a little

all my life

you know

I don't know what we

it is very

and

please

I was one of the more color

personalities and

they were raising a lot of people

and I was

I'm not broken up

and so I had to start my car

I was crying out of happiness and also because I'm one

there

and that's not what and also

without a partner who is going to want me

people want

but I

do not realize

there were all these people who are interested

a couple years

it was very

interesting

the start of appalling because of course you

unless

they lived around the corner

the pastor

even

well here's what happened by the way both friends of mine that's how we

all right

your closest family members and all

and one of them lives in my house now

and what is now the love of my life

seven years

I also

let

a couple

we're both

raising her and of course here

I started writing

our network

ninety

biography

in about five minutes and I'm going to go

hello

of course you know my story

one

the story

let's

hi my

in

he was

no

no

what about

home products

I would love

my mother and father and my brother

we were also quite well

more than

never

growing up since I was on my own

but I was brought up with non alcoholic

more than

good

I

and I believe I was certain that

one of my one of my

you know why didn't turn out

well I

this is

I

when corn sixty sixty four

one of my

there are a couple of them resulted in

the father with a lot of

for

or even not even one night

I also

one

I broke a bottle over the head of

who's going through this

growing up as

we

I woke up

I don't know I don't

all right let them know where the drunk

I remember this

or

out of a movie or something where I was in the medical

I was very

there was no electricity or running water

when I was in

open

even with the open in the blood running out and I wanted myself

well my sense is more or less

everything up and then went

well

I know myself I was

another thing in the later

when I was

on over

last

they're going to black out I called my brother and sister in law

I'm very close to

changements

the next morning I was in this

you know waking up

it was a weekend or not are you ready

well you know my

airport

even though I was in the right

I went in my bedroom

I had no idea

thank you

it was holding

I could not even

that I was operating

so we went up to the airport

there are really only

airport

and I was very lucky

right one and

and then the next thing you know

and that's at least

I was

the stock

another

okay

news

you're in a blacked out when you're drinking

I woke up

airport which is

in the

this is all my

I would never live

you know I noticed I was going to

I don't call them

one

and one last

I was involved in an even worse

later on

between eleven and

I was also

one time I was glad

somebody

as long

I don't talk about my

more

there's a lot of

thank you

anything

all right that was

four point

a little emotions ranging

but I was in high

because I was alone I thank you as I was

probably

thank you

because of help me I thought

I think a whole lot but then I would be very

I could not

I could barely do anything except

myself I was kind of

I was not an alcoholic

I was not going to

I was I was

beer or wine

really

brought up with a lot of

in our home

there's a lot of

one of my

it wasn't quite as elegant as

let's remember

whatever it was that

I was wearing black

I only went to the bathroom

every everything up

but I knew I

during my

yeah I never I always get

when I

you know it was very obvious

there was no alcohol we all know about it

one

well not exactly

going for the group

I want to

I'm sorry

what we call for

the lord of university hospitals

the correct

and in the long

hello

but I knew I

I still drink my drink

I never

always

when I

you know was very not

now

alcoholic we all know about a long

one

your life

well not

so we went with them all

I'm sorry

what we call

or

lord university hospitals

the correct

well in the long

I would like

with somebody who is

I'm not a person

yes you know

like

so

I can be doing

somebody who has when you

hung over you don't want to talk

we can talk about your problems

all this

I went over

my

I was not

never

I'm

about everything

but I read this book and then he called

or

the horrifying

the business's lost

thank you for calling

the middle part of the

and

it works

when I went to my first

anywhere in nineteen seventy

thirty one

somewhere in the line of

much younger than most of my first meeting

seven people were all in the mind of one woman

World War

one of the Muslim world one day and this is where

I think you're better

because of my own life

I work myself

right

and I went and I looked around and

these guys are

four and a quick

five eleven north

well

you know I was hungover still or

I was very

but I was

I'm not looking around at the White

the middle

black

thank

I

what are we

you know what

he was talking about earlier

yeah I would

this is the most

there was that I was

no longer

thank you your money

I just come to the end of the line

I couldn't handle my life

an old man

he

sometimes

there was one that I remember them all it was looking into the

there was a recall it was on my line

with

I remember when I was five years old

I was very little in the wind whistling through the grass

one of the world's

the woman one of the work force the image of her

yes

one

I was

I was not

my whole life

to go back

one with everyone and everything well I'm not

I decided to find out

what was going on I did not come

so I

stop drinking

well one of the

nineteen seventy nine

actually my

I wasn't

what

a couple of

winters are horrible

and I used to bring a lot of

well

it's not

well that was my

anyway

get over

but it would have been

thank

you know this

thank

about about it

and I was in for a lot of work which was something I didn't know about

but I wanted to get out of trouble

these people have

I don't like

this is not my idea of a classy place

and like the people that

very interesting very bad

a lot of

the blues

thank you Dr Dallas

let me tell you

I think that's the best

right

first of all

I

after my last

in March that I was really happy you

I had a rocket that was used

I was a manager well I mean that's why

get out of trouble

please

people who they wanna see me anymore I was going to fix

and

as far as I knew I wasn't crazy I always wanted to be

because in this class

I believe I always

why hasn't squatting in the lighting

leaving the

come around the corner

because I

I went

with my cover whatever you wanna call them

I was impressed by the candles and the images on the line and there was a very simple and radiant

people believe even in very

thank you all right and that god was always

like

it would work out

I always wanted to believe that even in my worst

I can't figure out why

nothing would happen because you know I always read about things I never went into believing

and

then the third step with let's call it you know over your life well all right

I didn't have any problems with

but I didn't really learn how to the first

well I realized that I was going to

whatever it

and then I only have one life to live one day I did not have a year's

what's happening good or bad with

those are magic words it will we have to say that my whole life

he's not elegant it will pass is a marvelous reading

because even if you're bored listening

it will even

it will you know

thank you

is there a successor disaster

and there's something new

and this is another thing that I learned in English or I had always wanted to

I need to know the answer I would

when I was a good person

and I never could quite

I could not find

things were on my first

and that was life is great around and things will run been given it will

I believe I would

because somebody wants the answer to discover that the only thing

this is not what I had in my

when I was truly

here is a great motivator for me

I knew this wasn't a test I was going to

or a job I was going to get in this is my life

thank you I was going to have to simply take seriously the steps which I had memorized

before my last straw in those three golden first month

how to do the

so I put the finishing touches on the

or a lawyer

and seventy I went in and told me and I told him everything about my life

and that one was to save my life

a lot of

we're really

you know degraded

I heard anybody else on my

you have been involved in

and I have to get rid of it

you know

find out what was going wrong because a good inventory and I just took a ride on the back okay three columns everyone hated

are there any went right through

everybody was

the president makes the whole thing and then in the middle

weather incident you know you're a member

what made you

what made you feel

and on the right hand side with

well I won't have my worst

it is putting things out

that was really my whole life and

those papers

I just didn't do anything

I have been having a

I never sat down and wrote the first paragraph or the

of course a lot of things work out

your emotional approach to life was fear panic and another major

the problem was learning

I live

yes six seven right away right after

thought about whether I'd done everything is completely

hello we

I can only

I didn't understand that seven five years so but I did it out of the book right it is only a paragraph that's all seven is

and I did

and it didn't work I was late to work next morning out

everything all right

the nearly on there and I went on

and I think

her name is making amends believe somebody over two weeks at their email

I do

I feel a little better

the regular

I got a lot of good

the growing challenge somebody that you've done this or that person is going to work on and then watched

thank you yourself and lying and getting drunk over and over

the man didn't work very well either I called my father

for calling him the Bolivia

and I was

fifteen operators on the line because you have to go through a radio

Kelly and then telling him that he's making his youngest son

the second marriage

I don't think I use that word homosexual I believe we were back in the early

eight six

everything in my life and I was very destructive because a lot of other people listen

it was

my brother and sister in law at two in the morning and it was a party line in this little

what would be picked up and then I

everybody is

Irma's brother

because they were very

but

they love

to well on the immense

what I discovered was living a lie you know

on a daily basis all

you know don't build up

I learned when things went wrong right right away I also have to learn to

there's a lot of

first Friday what happened was a failed

all the time in

from my

randomized

we have

all right yourself right

yeah over

well then there's no problem

go to another meeting

the move from one department to another and it didn't have the money ran in

I was living my life

ask for help in the morning thank

for what

sobriety more

the most controversial

we we had a workshop on yesterday

eleven

and the key words because twenty one years later

I

all right because it's

I prefer to call it the mystery

yeah

badly

you know I can just go our philosophical

my sister got up

so we're

you know

these

morality

I wasn't burned by

you

so but it still hasn't hardened

the same thing

it has that mystery I wanted here was the eleventh

my sponsor

great I believe

I love him he's dead now he was a World War one veteran I was

he did the World War two veterans a lot more and they were

the World War one veteran

one of my major sponsors

never to my knowledge it remains and I don't believe he or his wife ever darken the door of the

with something when you're finding people in their sixties and seventies

revenue

I don't know how they got it with me down any

well

we had a lot of silence in

police in the morning and thank you and I've never defined what

my first lesson in somebody who is living

they're very

about

he also says the city has

maybe you can even read very well Michael

the book you discover

very directive

L. reading about alcoholism and don't read anything more

everything is in the glove instead I

our

figure out

Hey

I know wasn't biting the dust lighting candles in front of it and now I'm going to work young and a lot of good things that I had going leading

this

that wasn't probably going to work for me because I find something new about

and what I found was a really poor

we are not

what we

on the maintenance of our spiritual

I mean I wanted the answer

I wanted to get into that clubhouse

and leave

and I also wanted to let you know that

well one of our founders of

right L.

sort of not so many ways

thank god

bill

but I don't think it's the person I might relax

and far too crazy

well

having had a spiritual experience as a result of

but

what was published in the book

over

because for me it's very gradual

growing well

it is

I

the last one

I'm in my apartment alone for five minutes I didn't want anything

I was in the

it was it was like

right five years old

hi

what what happening

for awhile yet I guess I needed

you know I was I was not

the only

I want I want

when I was a you know strong loosening

I didn't learn that where

I was doing my

working

going to meetings a living

and it's a wonderful

you know the

although I have the idea of the sacrament

what is the our invisible

your work life

but I needed to do I need to translate

and so actually are you still

basically every morning I open my little book and I need to look at it

we have an alcoholic

hello

and then in the evening at some point or another I was

so that's another thing I've heard in ages you don't

every day is a brand that's very easy for me now

yes I have a memory like a sieve and I can't remember anything anyway every day is a brand new day

you know the

and it has been very good

I know

meditation is long

really basically who can crack

well I also go to you Chris

but I'm not an addict

I just trying to comfort in the

our

read more

anyone who is you

any man or woman but a lot of them but

right

this is

I am sharing my body maybe somebody

me but it is

I am dealing with

and

I don't know where I was going to have no memory

so

anyway I've become sort of a Zen Buddhist

what happened

because I thought it would be simpler

well I do in one way is this a microgram is very simple but now I can run around and read all these books and do all these things completely free

they're getting drunk because I'm not looking for the answer I know better

I just find it

the

at the end I find that I

it was a mystery

his enthusiasm

gather combined work and I'm not going to go on

but it brings you down to the

my spiritual awakening

well this is a risky thing to do but it was a risky thing to get up

even though I can talk a lot I said nothing

but

in a way

each of you in this room

then

thanks to all of you have

you people are my doctor now while you're priceless fortunate on anything for

your your your collection of

and I find I look

if you think you have the same look in your eyes I mean we don't know exactly where we're going

so

we don't know where we're going to get

but

we're so we're doing it together

about a mile away

the message you know that calm

three parts

south of the steps that we

right now

my job

right yes right

and you don't work a good program but having done it once

I don't

they're always so I have to look back at my awakening away

the main

the middle part which is fun for me working with other other alcoholic

I have a workshop sponsorship and are going through that link

but basically commute some of the most thrilling things in the world

do it there because it was given to me I passed

special about because I didn't

and then you end up

the sober when she called

I wasn't hungover wasn't thrown

I would you know what I'll just go over your own way

he's always done everything in our own way

is there anything else

over

there's a lot of love

during the message

this call

making car

that I dislike the most about

cool in the twelve steps there's always a catch in something you know it doesn't cost anything

that is the money

this is a lot more time than I expected

but

you know it's wonderful spiritual awakening is resolved these steps kind of

and then

message to others

then there's that

principal are your

it is

and you

talk about my program and I have gone through all the calls you know those

I work hard on their

on Thursday night hundreds and hundreds of more meetings than I ever expected thank god I called was many now as I did in the beginning but you know I put in my

requires me to live this

principal

balance

highlights

I work

there

friendship

everything else that I do

I knew that one of my major

procrastination raising and that to me

I was very sad when I read that because we are

it changed my whole life

and we're everywhere

we have to close now

in about two or three minutes

right the prices have been up for a whole hour

of course I want to wrap it up one dazzling flash you've been

will you grow slows

all

a lot

I'm a drama queen

but I can't think of anything so I was going to say what comes into my mind that my twenty one years of sobriety

and I'm going

because I don't have enough energy to try to recover again and I'm going to continue and I do work with people I go to meetings a week

whatever whatever it is I didn't drink every day though either

you know my mind is

think of the reason I don't have to go to

you

one reason is that I can see I don't want to be

anymore and I don't

I'm going to hang on to my surprise

that's the whole story

work work work

you about that meeting or whether you like the speaker you don't like you don't

your

Craig

well in my mind when I was

is that I was there are you ready

about two months ago

I'm

your brother in law works thirty years they're wonderful marriage and where they raised their three daughters all wonderful people and my coworkers

three of them are

the end of

my youngest

you know

hello

the work

some of the women

I have

the wrong being

later you know

of the of you

one

no I don't know what shows

related

many twenty four hours well hello

your

you were

hello

the new people

all the people there

you know

thank you

we need all of the men start working

where are

for

everyone around

everyone

hello

over the last five years

and

but you know

the worst thing

the world

as the

I'm not sorry for myself north toward people with wouldn't be able to do anything with the

our problem

what good are you there

you know maybe quite

what are

a lot of them have

well

I don't know what

certainly we don't work with my

rattling around now reading and thinking about all

in order

and I would never

you

with one

coming into one

four year old

that could be

I'm very grateful

you people

okay being over

and anyone can do it

even people who have known

or

read read read

really

the weather here

long long

thank