Houston Roundup in Houston, TX

good morning

my name is Stan Greer and I'm an alcoholic

I'm grateful recovering alcoholic

I'm putting my work here so I can watch that I bought something with me

begin by telling you that

there's only one place I would laugh learn rather be this morning

that would be waking up

that morning

September sixth nineteen seventy six

when I woke up

came out of the blackout

which was my last three

shortly after my last drink I'm going to read to begin with because I start each day

with

but that was given to me the first day I was in the program

twenty four hours a day and day by day

and both of these books have been with me for my sobriety

and I try to I try

my life directed by the doctor the day or the prayer for the day that I get so I'm going to read you

from the very bad day today

opinion

most will tell attic is an exciting experience

we like charge off explaining our insights at meetings and social gatherings we truly need to share in this manner but it should not affect us too much when other people don't accept our pearls of wisdom

let me ask

apple for another

another issue this down for something we said

we didn't take it too personally

what is right for one may not be right for another

however we all have the right to express our opinions do I share my views briefly with others

hello my mastering not turning to imposing

and may I not take opinions as personal insults or rejection

today I will share my deepest insights with blind

with

all of you who have gathered here this morning

Roger I'm sure by the loser of

the roundup invalid

well

thank you for being here

mastery begins

I don't even know how to start I don't I don't do this very often and

so I'm just gonna add live it I grew up in fort worth Texas I was born in nineteen forty seven

I was born into a family

a loving family I had three older brothers

they were they are war seven nine at seven eleven and thirteen years older than me so I was a late baby

are the result of that was the time I was in the fourth grade

I was an only child because all my brothers and left

and so I got to to have the attention and focus of of my parents are

through my schooling years

our alcohol was not something that

really cropped up into my life during during those years

there was something different about me and I didn't know what it was

and I say that in all sincerity

I had no idea what was wrong with me that I've seen so far

from all the people that that I went to school with that the

I just never seem to fit in right and I I had this desperate desire

it

and didn't know how to do it

I was going through those

yeah I was going through all the I was doing all the things that my peers were doing I was trying to participate at school I

it was not blessed with the greatest intellects so I had aids did not come easy for me with

hi I went through high school and did not graduate with honors because I made two days and in the in the freshman

algebra and in freshman chemistry

and

but other than that I did really well I only I didn't have any savings and only a few bees and the rest days but I had to work in school and also works of my father had started and when I was even younger I started going with my mom and dad on the

I shop and cafe in fort worth and I would go with them to work in the morning

before I went to school and help get the shop opened make coffee do things like that

and I ended up working in some form or another part time all the way through school

and

I just never seem to have time to get into a lot of trouble

but I also also very apart from all the people that that I was surrounded by two o'clock I was living two lives I had a fantasy life

in my head

where I was it

if anybody knows what that

he added that I had this this reality side and at that time you know I went through I was very unsure sometimes I enjoyed it sometimes I didn't

I think you always want more and I could never get enough

and

this is where you from high school

and I went to college and the first semester that that I went to school I was at the Arlington state college in in Arlington Texas which is now the university of Texas at Arlington

and I've made the dean's list

and that was a miracle

because at the same time all of these feelings that I had

according to

manifests himself when I got into college I started to meet other people that were sort of like me

as for like me was being gay

and I really didn't know that there were other people in the world

that felt like

so I went away I went to school and I work full time

and

some friends of mine who wanted me to

my my best friend was gay and I didn't really know what I I found out and it was you know was that was cool and I he and several other friends decided to take me to Dallas for years the

which would be in nineteen sixty five nineteen sixty six and

I have occasionally had a drink I didn't drink during high school and when I got out it was it was fun it was fun because I felt like I was I was wondering the last you know I was really I was grown up now I could really do this and

so we went on new year's day and to this party in Dallas and there are all these people drinking in the bar was you know going full tilt and

are some one

actually it was kind of a set up from another friend of mine had brought a friend and

and I'm at the spelling bill

and we hit it off together

and for the next

nine months we became very close

and I swear it

I fell in love

and

he was the high school

and

that number

it's really interesting that summer I had saw something and something happened to me

we were we both worked and I got off of work one Saturday night and then I went to two up with him even though he had his own car I met up with him at his job which got off a little later than mine and we were going to go to Dallas and and do our thing

at a party

and we left the

we left the shopping center and we were driving down the street he was following me and I was going on with this St the fourth customary drive and has a big ask her in it

and I was to start off from the flight and all of a sudden there was a truck

in front of me

and I hit it square head on

and it was the fella whose current

and I went through the windshield the front one and I went through the back one

because yes to me from the back

bill

then I ended up in the hospital and in a

worked in insurance lawsuit that went on for months and months and months and

and I never wanted to be like that

with angry at that man because he started up my face which is kind of gone now

and

but you know that kind of thing could happen to me

what a long after that that

hello went away to school and he said those words I want to just be friends

and

that was the mission

I was so hurt

in

I couldn't find anything to

the staff

and

alcohols or work

its first build up at home

and that was in nineteen sixty six

I went on to

school for another two semesters actually I went to TCU that Paul and

do very well I was pre med

and

but I decided I needed to get out of town I need to get away so I went to Stephen F. Austin Nacogdoches per semester

that didn't work either

that didn't work at all

but as things happen I

I met someone when I was

I came to Houston for a week and then I met this fellow

the

Jimmy Robert Brown

this is funny because

I'll stop right now and tell you that

for those of you who are from Houston

of the Jimmy was the first person I ever lived with

this bill open I'd never we both lived at home I'm I'm moving to Houston that summer after school was out to live with Jamie and

years later I run into signing

and

this is a this is the pattern in my life my drinking wine hi I met Jamie and I moved to Houston and two weeks after I was here his ex came back

and all of a sudden I was in the extra bedroom when they were together and I was by myself again

and

after that one

finally

and I have something in common

and I was working at that point I thought that was pretty bad in school well I decided to quit school I was a I was a licensed medical technologist at that point I'd been grandfathered in because of the loving

a lot of people and forth a lot of doctors who had who had helped me along and and encouraged me and

thaws out there working I work three jobs that year I lived in Houston for a year I moved here in nineteen sixty seven I moved away in nineteen sixty eight

well if you don't want to kill CC vocal time during the day I went to work at installed in the emergency room when I got off from that job and on weekends I worked at a series of bars from first downtown at the red ring

and then later at the plantation club

our drinking water the big issue I don't have a lot of time

I was working at the time

a lot of you know short relationship

I went to finish my first year I got my first two weeks paid vacation and decided to go visit some friends from four or who had moved to Los Angeles

well didn't let somebody in LA the last day I was there

Hong

later

I quit my job and I moved to Los Angeles

two weeks later I was on my own

I did have a job

I was intelligent enough to arrange a job for the

so that was sixteenth in Los Angeles

sixty sixty eight sixty nine and into nineteen seventy

and it was part time I only had to have one job there because they paid so well and I live with my friends my three dearest friends for for for and

it was okay

it was it was it was okay little drugs here and there came into play

tried LSD one didn't like it

right

but

it was not really an issue at that point

then

I just didn't like what I was doing

I was I was in the field in the medical field and you know I wanted to be a doctor but I wasn't going to go back to school I want you to do that so I just wanted a clean break and I just wanted to

to do something entirely different so I moved back to Houston

and I moved in with my old roommate

and I

I went to work at sock with

in the men's department

and

I began to drink a little more

enjoy

developed taste for Scott

and after a few months of of doing that job

I decided to

I had met the number of people and

I was fascinated with

jewelry and

Tiffany and company was fixing to move from

the store they had here in Houston in the downtown area an office building after the gallery because the gallery was speaking open and I applied for a job as a stock boy

and I got

and so I moved across the street from fact with into the Galleria and I started to work at Tiffany's and then it was I was

I was in heaven

it was just wonderful

here I was in the big fancy store this crazy little kid from fort worth and and it didn't matter to me that I was

happen and wrapping stuff

I wanted to I wanted to be a part

so I worked hard

and a year after I started to work there for a few months after I started working my boss noticed that that I had a way with that the stock in the inventory and they were instituting inventory control system which they have not ever had before set that up and did well and

soon I was a year after I started there in nineteen seventy I became the assistant store manager

and that was the title

with the manager

Tiffany and company

it is really hot

and a little more money

a little more money a little more drink

so for the next three years

hi a little more money each year and I drank a little more each year

and I was still trying to fill this hole up and not just one working and

hello my fine remake the one I've lived with after I'd gotten thrown out

back in the sixties and

Lyman had a brother and this brother came he was he was going off the heat but often the anon he was home on leave he was going back he was the night

and he came to visit for a week

guess what

he was getting out

of the service in six months

and he was going to live in San Francisco

so two weeks before he got back to San Francisco

I quit my job that I love so much in San Francisco

and now

at home

and what

in two weeks there was only one

I know he will

living in this godforsaken place and San Francisco with the call the day I was in Alameda looking at the city and so I I have to go to prom with this go and find an apartment and moved in and

oh dear I went to work at I Magnin

and that was an experience I've worked with a man who was an alcoholic

he was a real

the whole

he often didn't show up for work

he would be gone for three to four days in a row on the day he would come back looking bad only had this very peculiar habit which I

I was very

very good

he

put sanitary napkins

under his arms inside his jacket so the perspiration wouldn't go through his jacket at work

well I'm sure you have that problem I with a sweater

and of course when you consume as much started by night you had a tendency to to excel at the next day at work

and so this was very convenient except your you know your your sleeves from riding out on the inside that those in there and you know it so I learned something from this

yeah

he was still in the back of my mind and my old boss called one day at the urging of a couple of other friends I'd been forewarned and asked me if I wanted to come back

and so I said sure

okay

so I came back nine months after I moved out to San Francisco I moved back to Houston again that's in nineteen seventy three in November it was just about just about now just about a thanksgiving

I moved back to Houston

they are are not here and yeah I had some bad experiences in San Francisco

I was I was searching for something I'd become an Episcopalian in high school I was I was raised in the Baptist church and I become a principal because I sang in the choir

and

during lent in nineteen seventy three hi quelled at knob hill to grace cathedral every morning Evelyn

and I would go in it at seven o'clock service and I would sit there and I was I was talking to god

and I wouldn't hear anything I wouldn't hearing

I would call in and the line was busy

but but I did it and I would you know sometimes that I Hey and I would stumble back down the hill I had a terrible blackout experiences San Francisco

and I don't know how I survived that but I did I came back to Houston and

you got this job back that I love so much and proceeded to go along for the next couple of years seventy three to seventy five the drinking a lot nineteen seventy four something incredible happened I decided with a good friend of mine still works with me today that

I was

with

I wasn't interested

I was just going we were both going to just be single the rest of our lives

and be happy

hello I don't remember sometime in the summer without a trip down to Galveston for the after a Saturday at work and

I don't know I think it was a Monday but it could've been a Friday or Thursday I don't remember what day it was but the

we decided after work one afternoon to go to dirty smelly

and when thirty Sally Smith discount

he was not

name is now

meld L.

and

he came home with me and we watched football game among other things

and

very unusual and but we'd like to call them

do you want to go out again and I have been calling on his birthday

and there were a bunch of people he was having a birthday party if you have time to talk to me and said he'd get back to me later and kind of blew me off and all

back at thirty thousand run into him again well

that was nice

I was a little mad that I'd been blown off that

all right

and that began a courtship if you will that lasted for just short of the year about ten months

and in nineteen seventy four in the in the

I'm sorry nineteen seventy five we moved in together

got an apartment together and

by now my drinking had had reached the point where I tell you one little story with The New York

I was now the associate manager of the store and had forty forty eight employees I think

but I was in New York for my annual visit

which was always capped off with the last day with a meeting with the chairman of the board to discuss the state of the store in Houston

and

this particular night I went to dinner with friends and I embarrassed myself monumentally with him

throughout the whole evening and I'm not going to go into great detail but all that aside that I woke up the next morning with three broken ribs I'd had a lamp slammed into the side of things

I was

monumentally uncomfortable

and I didn't know why

I don't know why that happened but I couldn't possibly

go see Walter Hoving

that morning

so I went in and I told everybody I slipped in the shower hit the corner of the bathtub in my office sorry for me of course I realized today that a whole new what it happened I I didn't think so I thought I covered it up very well and I I live the only

and it's still in a hurry and I got on the plane to Houston I thought

it was

it went to Atlanta

and I've got three broken ribs

and so the lady over there and get another plane to Houston and I got back and and and Mr I'll pick me up at the airport and

that was in the summer I believe of nineteen seventy five

and soon after that he he went to my doctor

talk to my doctor and suggested that I might have a problem with my drinking

and my doctor being the wonderful man he was told him that no no no he just didn't understand the stress that I was under at work and then you know this was normal for the course of things and

so

nothing happened

but I continue to kind of go down hill

we were trying to have a relationship and I was getting drunk virtually every night going to bed with you know model with a iced tea glasses

Dr ninety glass of brandy or you know whatever and thinking you know what a gracious life we live

making great plans for great dinners and going places and not getting there

but because my

god was too important for I got started out so I could I had to get

before I could go and then by the time I was writing that there wasn't a pointing going because our dinner with our you know it was all over the show was over we were late or what we didn't do anything

and

in the summer of nineteen seventy six my my last drug the last week it was a sweet al decided

he was going around

parents and all my friends were going to California and for the weekend flyin weekend in in in Los Angeles you know what that is and I thought I was going to go do that

and I made the decision road rash you know just on the spur of the moment and if the all blacks looted to Los Angeles and

back to LA and that was the weekend of my last stroke I started drinking on that plane on Friday afternoon

and I think I had my last drink dirty Sally's

on Labor Day morning probably about six or six thirty I don't remember I don't know how I got from the airport I don't know how I found my car in the parking lot at the airport that's a miracle I don't know how I got into the city

I don't know how I got home

and not alone

that I had been entrusted with something rather expensive for my store

and when I woke up

in that Hey

with the watch it was a diamond watch but expensive got much

he was gone

my first reaction was to

in the car and start trying to find who had taken my watch and I was driving all over the months trump's

I didn't know what they look like

I don't know who they were

and I went to Sally said and I'm stroking the bark

you want me to do one thing when I was there that morning

demanding that tell me who

I had my watch

I was driving home

and

for the first time in my life

I realized that this

of the Vance would not have occurred

if I'm not if I've not been

and then

it was a moment

L. came home a few hours later

finding a perfect mess took me to Alfred's for

mothball food

during the next night

yeah office manager at the store and of lovely woman who lives out in California now is America act here husband had me over for dinner had ally over for dinner and

when we arrived

is a Tuesday night

of

she and her husband drank wine but she's gone and bought a bottle of Chivas regal for me

and

I had to say marketing I can't

drinking for

I just can't do that

and

she was so sweet thank you bye courage me die like had a friend who was an alcoholic and and they knew that it was possible for someone not to drink and so

very encouraged me and and at that point as we were leaving dinner that night we we called my doctor on the phone and

he lived very close by just short of half a mile maybe and he said come on over and it was probably ten o'clock or so at night and

Alan I went over his house and I told my I think you have a problem

with my drinking

he whipped out his prescription pad and started writing and I thought oh he's

the complex that

but

the

number on this prescription

and it was dinner group

and he said then

when you get up in the morning before ten o'clock I want you to call this number

and if you can't do it

you call me and I'll do it for you

at nine fifty nine

I'm at my desk

at Tiffany's now you understand I I have this horrible thing that happened here I've I've lost this

very valuable please add

I'm just glad that I'm gonna lose my job and I'm willing to do anything now to save my job anything

and I made that call and spoke to this young woman in our group who is charming

tell me somebody would call me back

nice man named don be call me back

about eleven o'clock they said you want to go to lunch

and I said bull sure sure

the topic yeah at

one forty five

so off I go to lunch

and the nice looking man who

dressed up

he starts telling me about his drinking he grew up in the same place I did went to the same high school that I went to with a few years ahead of me but actually went to school with access for a long time

and in the

process the

eighty tell me a lot of the story

and we went into the cathedral group downtown I thought I was going to lunch money looking

as a navy blue suit

and I found out I was going to a meeting you're gonna be overdressed

and there were there were there were a lot of people there back in those days that that meeting with the big meeting the noon meeting at the cathedral group was probably one of the bigger meetings in the city and there were over a hundred people there I'm sure and I fell on the back row and the set next to don and this other man sat next to me his name was Jerry D.

what it felt terrible

I don't want to be there

all those people that they look so different

don't look so good

and they weren't shaking

in the end of the meeting they offered chips and

these two guys clinched me when it was time for him they said that you go get it

and I don't know what I was doing

I got up and I walked to the front of the room and all these people were clapping and they put this chip in my hand and I close my hand on it and I walked back to my

if something happened

something that

it was incredible

the whole was working on

I felt like maybe I was in the right place at the right time for the first time in my life

don was wonderful I don't know where Donny is today I think you live in Colorado but don was wonderful he

he took me back up whatever all the way back holding my story all the way back to to work and

I got home that night and he was sitting in the driveway of my house these two

end of the book

and

he told me that he'd be back at seven thirty to pick me up take me to another

and so

seven thirty they came up and we went

downtown to the Texas house at the time and

don just happen to be telling his story so I heard his whole story that night

and

the next morning he called me

for a left for work and

came by and took me to that new meeting again and

proceeded to do that for the next two weeks

I went through V. T. at war

I came off of all that alcohol

and

on Saturday night that first Saturday night he took me to the twenty four hour club the speaker meeting which I think was at ten thirty at the time or eleven somewhere along there was light

and

I heard someone

speak little black woman little short tiny shriveled up thing

and if you're introduced herself and

she said you know my name is such and such and I don't remember it now that I'm a commode hugging drawn

exactly what he was talking about I knew exactly what she meant because that's what I did I got sick and threw up a lot

well I heard a lot of things in those first few weeks that that I was around this program going to a lot of meetings at least two a day

and

I heard that you know that I begin to see that I might be able to save my job

my

with Caroline clear at that point

but I found out it was possible to not drink one day at a time

the new concept for me before I knew it I had two weeks

and I was hearing people talk about sponsors

and this person presented the first great dilemma for me in a variety I had this wonderful man Donte who strike you had

shepherded me three twelfths that may

through this meeting I had this other man jury duty who is gay

who had this

remarkable twinkle in his eye

S. did most of the people that I saw on this program this

twinkle

they learn

I have done in a long time

I hadn't felt good

in a long time and I started gradually

be a little better

and

I had to make this decision about you know about this monster thing and

so

I was really toward and finally I decided that you know I was I was gay I was okay with that but I was not okay with

talking about that two to three

so

during the month

and

he was wonderful

he was a wonderful man the sponsor me for a little over sixteen years

and

he he knew he had a real mess on its hands

I think he wanted me to I think he wanted to

I don't know what he wanted he told me I was good I was I was talking about things I got into the sponsor and I was really talking about doing that the fourth step and the only during the night

one of the fourth step and this is what he told me I was going to do one after a year and a lot of you've heard me talk you know that that that's the way I was brought into this program was you work one day a year

and I didn't know what that meant I thought I was retarded I didn't know

I'm willing to do it I'm I'm willing to do that you see what happened was sometime in those first few months the the alcohol cleared out of my system and then I found out I could

live without drinking

yeah when I got here I didn't think that was possible I've never been able to stop

not even for a day I would swear it off that you know in the morning I wouldn't have another hang over like that I was not going to drink that night and then

five thirty six well just one

just one

and that just didn't work

Jerry took care of me a lot of people took care of me in this program early on

I was able to

I've been left an inheritance that year small

but it was really strange there was just enough money in the savings account to pay for that bloody watch and so instead of getting fired I bought a watch that I didn't have that somebody else is out there wearing it today which is wonderful the biggest gift I ever gave anybody in my life

what can I do thank you

I thank you for that first year all right you know my my sobriety

you know I drank for eleven years I've been sober for twenty four years and two months now so I've been sober a lot longer than I drank and I'm sorry I spent so much time on the drinking part because the recovery part is is the part that is that

the most

I'm not

I don't hear that stuff that all happened if that hadn't happened I wouldn't be here today so that's okay iolite get I didn't like me but you know things are different today

things are different

the first

well I have

just about in the third year

I was

at

still if you still have this strong

and

I met my boss for a number of reasons and other things happened and I'm not going to go into that because to detail the story but but I decided to to leave that job

so I quit

and I'd ask for transfer and I didn't come through and I just quit and

I

how to apply for a job

so I decided I wanted to

I want to make some money out of parties with great

there were a lot of people that were working there is a lot more money than I did when I was really upset about it

so I applied for a job with a golden jewelry corporation which was one of the largest jewelry corporation world time and I had to go downtown and take a lie detector test guess what if that's what you do here in my business you take a lie detector test every time you change talk