Karl M. from Covina, CA Workshop on the Doctor's opinion at Road to Recovery Convention, Reykjavik Iceland

Both hope you're welcome in Fista Fierce Era. Morgan Sins. Kartlam Frokovina.

Good morning. My name is Carl. I'm an alcoholic. Let me get some water here real fast.

Once again, it's a great honor to be here. And I am so amazed again that just as many people are here at the morning workshops as we're at the speaker meetings. That's you guys have now legitimately beat out 99% of the conferences in the United States by your attendance at the workshops. It's really true. Usually the speaker meetings are full and the workshops are about 1/4 full. So I'm, I'm, I'm very impressed with you Icelanders. I knew it came from somewhere, right?

Because I'm always so impressed with myself, that's what.

But before I get going, I want to again, I, I would not normally do this because I treasure this. I have a first edition big book with me that I brought from the United States. And I don't know if it maybe some of you have seen them before, maybe a number of you have them. I don't know. I didn't know how rare it would be here,

but I have one here and Mickey is holding it up and I would like to hand that around. And you can glance at that as we're going through the workshop, but please be very, very careful with it. And also when it's in this corner. Michael and Mickey have been signing so many books. Please do not sign this one. I, I love you both, but I don't need your phone number in in my first edition. But you'll, you'll notice that it has a reprinted cover the way that the old, old covers of the big books of Alcoholics

work. So it's sort of a reprinted cover around that. It is a 12th printing from 1948. So, and you'll also notice we're going to be going over the doctor's opinion in here. You'll notice glance through the doctor's opinion there and you'll see that they where Doctor Silk were signs in All in all our other big books where he puts his name very freely in there

next to the letters that he had given. He does not there. In fact, they go blank, blank MD. You'll notice that when when they hand that around. So when Mickey's through with it, he'll he'll hand that around

anyway, I am we're here to talk about the doctor's opinion. You may be thinking, boy, when are we going to get on to some of these other speakers that that came all this way where, but it just sort of the luck of the draw. I got Friday night and I got doctor's opinion. So I'm actually glad about that. I get to get it out of the way and then sit out there with you the rest of the whole weekend. It now doctor's opinion. I want to I would like to chat a little bit about

a little bit of history, about who he was a little bit. How many people here have never, ever

thoroughly read the doctor's opinion and be honest? It's OK. It's not any secret around here that some of us haven't,

OK? How many people feel they have really been able to study it and understand it?

How many people are not sure or are scared to raise their hand? There we go. There we go. OK,

all right. The first thing we need to know about the doctor's opinion is that he is not an alcoholic.

OK, he is Doctor William was the head of a hospital named Towns Hospital in New York. When you read Bill's story you will find where he keeps on going into a detox or, or the hospital Towns Hospital in New York and and Doctor William B Silkworth is the head physician at this hospital. Now we often, the the Society of A A has often regarded Dr. Silkworth as a St. because of the hard, hard work he had done with Alcoholics.

Now we don't regard Bill and Bob as Saints, do we? No, we don't. But yet we it's often referred to that Doctor Silkworth. We almost regard him as a St. And the reason that we would regard him as a St. for the work he did for us for Alcoholics Anonymous and not Bill and Bob is simply because Bill and Bob were Alcoholics trying to save their own butt, right? Doctor Silkworth did not have his life at stake. He just somehow developed a love for working with Alcoholics.

Now I found out that he did not always have this great love for working with Alcoholics.

He came across it almost by mistake. He actually had been a very successful doctor and had invested a lot of money in the stock market and had also crashed. All of his financial resources had crashed in the market along with Bill. This is some of this great love for working with Alcoholics.

He came across it in the stock market.

I've always wanted to identify with Bill, but not in that way.

Anybody else invest in tech stocks around here anyway

and so he had he really was having trouble finding silk worth was actually having trouble finding a job because of the big depression. And Charles Towns offered him this job as head of the alcoholic ward at his New York hospital. Now if you were a prominent physician, apparently had made a lot of money and running in great circle great social circles, and now you are offered a job at a alcoholic ward in Towns hospital and you are going to be serving the the bums off the street.

It's really not something you're going to be boasting to all your friends about. Look at this, I now get to

run the the the beds that the alcoholic ward in towns hospital. So he was not happy about it. It was not like a big move up in his career.

It really wasn't. But he took it at a very low stipend, a very low salary because he couldn't get anything else. And it was there that then he developed this love for Alcoholics and and really became just absolutely attached to us. And this is the hospital that Bill came in and out of. And when Bill works his first step, when you can see in Bill's story when he is working the first step and completely surrendering,

he came across Doctor Silkworth and drive Silkworth is the one that gave him the, the, the definition of what the problem is with the alcoholic. Now Silkworth loved us Alcoholics and he knew what was wrong with us, but he didn't know how to help us. And that was extremely frustrating for him because doctors, yes, that's part of it. They love to diagnose a disease or diagnose a problem, but they also like to like to be able to follow that up with and if you take these,

you'll get better. Or if we do this surgery, you will get better. If you follow this prescription, you will get better. But he, he, he was at a loss. He did not know what the solution was for us, but he knew the problem. Now, if you've been an Alcoholics Anonymous for a while, you know, there's three things that we need to have in our lives to stay sober. We need to, we need to know what the problem is, what the solution is, and what the plan of action to bring about that solution.

We need those things in our lives. It's no different than if, if your car breaks down,

you need to know those three things, don't you? You need to know what's wrong with the car, what the solution to that would be, and what the plan of action. Let's say you break down on the road. Now you're not just going to go randomly changing out the battery, pulling wires and and pouring more gas, add some more oil, wash the windows and see which one, which one works? Are you change a couple of tires, right? You're going to try to figure out what's wrong,

right? That's the first thing you need to know. You need to figure out what's wrong. Is it indeed a dead battery? If you have found out indeed it is a dead battery, what's your solution?

A new battery, right? And what's the plan of action to get that new battery? Go down to the store and buy one, right? So you need the the problem, the solution and the plan of action. And Silkworth was there in New York. And through his work, his medical expertise and his observations of the hundreds of Alcoholics coming and going out of that ward, out of the alcoholic ward, and he actually, because he loved us, talked with us, right? Many other doctors at that time would never even speak to them. They just say, OK,

pump them full of this and let them rest and have them do this. But he was actually talking in depth with, with us and, and having conversations and forming his theories as he was, as he was working with us.

But he knew the problem, but he did not know the solution or any plan of action to bring about that solution. So when Bill got sober, he, you know, Silkworth was really quite interested. And that's when after Bill got sober, that that he, Bill in the first 100 came back to Doctor Silkworth and said you were a vital part of my being at this solution that I have found because I needed to know what was wrong with me.

And I imagine I of course wasn't there. But after Bill got sober, he wanted to find out

what was it that converged in on me that I was able to stay sober and find this solution and that now we have this many people sober. So he was, he was tracking back over his life and, and he saw a very important component where his conversations and his interactions and the views of Doctor Silkworth. And so that's why I'm sure that they then asked Doctor Silkworth to add to the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

OK, now the the beautiful part about Alcoholics Anonymous. And it's sort of like, almost like a,

you know, at Christmas time, all Christians get together and they tell the wonderful story of, of the birth of Jesus and the Manger. And there's no room at the inn and the, and the donkey and Joseph and the three wise men and the star, right. We all know that story. We're all told that his children. I imagine that, yes, everybody knows that. And, you know, that's sort of that sort of Christianity's way of celebrating the, the birth of Christianity. Well, in looking at the birth of Alcoholics Anonymous, because to me, equally important, equally amazing,

an incredible gift to mankind, that I look at the birth of Alcoholics Anonymous almost the same way. Now, there certainly were not three wise men involved, I can guarantee you that.

In fact, just the opposite, right? But

when you look at the way that the the solution converged in on Bill and the sequence of events that happened, it's just as amazing to me

that Bill, while drinking in New York, comes in and is interacting with Doctor Silkworth and he finds out the problem, but he doesn't know the solution over in Europe. Now I'm going to be jumping out over ahead of it. Over in Europe, Carl Jung, the celebrated psychologist, he knew our solution. He knew that Alcoholics of our type, because he was also interacting with Alcoholics.

He knew what the solution for Alcoholics were. He knew that we needed to have a vital spiritual awakening. So over at the very same time in history in New York, Dr. Silkworth knows our problem but doesn't know what our solution is. Over in Europe, Carl Jung, he knows what our solution is, but has no clue what our problem is. He did not know what was actually wrong with us. He did not know what Silkworth knew, but he knew that we needed a vital spiritual awakening,

right? And at the very also at the very same time in history, there was this other group of, of people that actually a Christian based group called the Oxford Groups of the Oxford Movement going on in the United States that had a plan of action going on.

But they didn't know what was wrong with anybody, or they didn't know what the solution is, but they had a plan of action going on, right?

And those three things through a series of events converged in on Bill W the problem, the solution and the plan of action. Now, I'm not going to take all the time to describe exactly that sequence of events. If it sparked any interest in you at all and you don't know the sequence of events, I strongly encourage you to either start asking old timers or other people that do know or start reading yourself all the a a literature, because you can gather all of that information is actually, if you really study the book, you're going to find out all of

that. It's all really all in here. But they only make light reference to some of those events as it converged in on bill. But you have to study the book. So anyway, the first thing apparently is they asked, they asked Doctor Silkworth just to write a letter of endorsement, right. You know what a letter of endorsement is. If you're going to be, if you're going to put a maybe put in a job resume and maybe maybe you're about ready to be hired and they say, do you have anybody to vouch for you? Right. So then you go to a past employer or you

go to, if you have a family friend in town who's sort of a prominent business person or well known who actually thinks well of you. Well, actually, that's right. Most of us wouldn't have that, would we? Yeah. Somebody prominent who who used to think well of us when we were drinking. Yeah. Wouldn't be happening. All right. But that sort of thing that Alcoholics Anonymous were sort of asking for a letter of endorsement from Doctor Silkworth. And we can see right there, it's in the Roman numerals XXIII right there at the. How many? Most people have their big book. Yeah,

OK.

All right. It's right there at the beginning. And if you read that first part, it really does not give us a lot of in-depth talk about what alcoholism is or his theories that we're going to talk about in a few minutes. It's really just sort of a quick little synopsis of that. One of these fellows came to my hospital. He was obviously desperate. Something happened to him. I think that's just great. And you can and but he does say something very, very

impressive. If we notice at the bottom when he describes Bill

and this means of recovery that he that he witnessed. He says these facts appear to be of extreme medical importance because of the extraordinary possibilities of rapid growth inherent in this group, meaning that this group of people that are staying sober, they may mark a new epic in the annals of alcoholism. So he's making reference to that. There's lot been years, if not centuries, of medical research on alcoholism

and it hadn't really gone anywhere.

They were still rather stumped as to what to do,

and so he makes a really big statement now. I really think that if you notice in that first edition that he remained, he did not put his name in there.

I imagine he did not want to put his name in there because of how controversial this type of statement medically was going to be, right? These days we sort of take it for granted that alcoholism is a disease, right? Most every insurance company will agree with that. What we call our American Medical Association agrees with that. Alcoholism is a disease. World Health Organization agrees that alcoholism is a disease.

Pretty much. It's a generally accepted medical view now that alcoholism is a disease.

Not so back then. In fact, him saying what he was about to say was probably going to have most medical doctors label him as a quack. This doctor right here was the very first doctor in history, except for one that had ever published a paper

or written out of theory that alcoholism was a disease and kept his reputation. From what I understand, and I have not investigated it fully

and maybe somebody would could tell me if I am a little bit wrong. There was a doctor named Benjamin Rush back in the American colonial times who did make reference to alcoholism being a disease, but apparently he did not really keep his reputation in other areas and had it was just sort of dismissed and lost in history for a long time. Now, Silkworth was the very first doctor to say that alcoholism was a disease. And we also need to notice that this is an amazing thing that a medical doctor

would stand behind a spiritual movement. That's huge because what do doctors usually they think in medical problem, medical solution,

they and he's going to admit that most doctors, we're going to see here in a in a couple of paragraphs that most doctors really do not put too much emphasis or credence on anything other than what is scientific and medical.

And if he's going to write a paper and have a theory that we have a medical problem,

but yet he's endorsing a spiritual answer,

now, I he's probably willing to do that because for so many years he saw us die and die and die. And then all of a sudden something happened in front of him that he, he couldn't deny it, right? He could not deny what happened right there in front of him. So against his medical training, he had to say,

you know, but it's a huge thing to put for a medical doctor to actually put on paper to actually publish and attach his name to it

and say we what my theory is is that these people have a medical problem, but their answer is spiritual. It's a big thing. Now let's look at after they got that letter of endorsement, which they, it looks like they said they when they got it, they said this is just great. But you know what, it's really not what we're looking for. We need, we want more. And they say right after he signs it the first time on Roman numeral 24, is everybody there at Roman numeral 24

then the people of Alcoholics Anonymous interject. And so this printing that is sort of larger, I imagine it is in your books also a little bit larger than the next section of printing is actually out the the group of Alcoholics Anonymous stepping in and talking again for the next couple of paragraphs. And it's very, very, they say some incredible stuff here. It says in this statement he confirms, meaning the doctor, that we who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe.

Now notice it does not say that we think we should believe. It might be a good idea to believe. It says we must believe

that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind. It was no secret to society and family members and people who loved us that our minds were kind of screwed up. There was no secret but what was, you know, but they didn't quite know how or why our minds were, were and, and you know how our minds quite operated. They just knew we were screwed up.

But there is a very important aspect here that had never really been been documented before and that our bodies were abnormal. And these are the two things that if we read the doctor's opinion, that I firmly believe that we need to understand. We need to be able to apply this these two things into our history into our lives and be able to document in our lives or at least point out and really be very, very clear how these two things have operated in our lives if we are

to be able to work step one in Alcoholics Anonymous and that is the concept of allergy of the body obsession of the mind. These are the two things that this doctor's opinion and the next few chapters Bill story more about alcoholism and there's there's a solution and more about alcoholism. Those are the two key things that just keep coming back and back and back allergy, the body obsession of the mind and this allergy, the body thing, Doctor Silkworth says is a very.

Important concept for US Alcoholics to really understand and Alcoholics Anonymous

through our little ceremonies. Also, I'm claim that this allergy of the body component of alcoholism is is very, very important. We can't disregard its importance. In fact, this whole thing about taking 90 day chips one year anniversaries, five year anniversaries, 10 year anniversaries of total abstinence

is all based upon the fact that we really find it very, very important of this allergy, the body concept component of alcoholism. That's why we get so excited that we did not even take one drink. Now many non Alcoholics think and many Alcoholics, what's the harm in one drink, right? Many of us feel what's the harm in one drink? Well, if we really know

about allergy of the body, we know exactly the harm in one drink, right? Because that one drink, you see, nobody in Alcoholics Anonymous says when we take one drink, we're going to explode on the bar stool. Have you ever seen anybody blow up right on the bar stool?

You ever seen anybody you know They take one drink and they dad

you ever seen anybody one drink and justice black out? There's some winos that maybe to do that,

but that we all know that's not the truth. But when we really understand this allergy, the body concept there we, we will guarantee an alcoholic one thing if they take the first drink, we guarantee you there will be another.

That's the only thing. We guarantee you that there will be another, you know,

all right. Now, in fact, in fact, at the very bottom of this paragraph, they say in our belief any picture of the alcoholic or I think believe another word, there would be any description of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete.

So if you hear somebody, an Alcoholic Anonymous, say I don't have an alcohol problem, I just have a living problem,

well, that's an incomplete picture, isn't it?

Many people have a living problem.

Don't we all have relatives who are not alcoholic that are pretty goofy?

Some of us think they need a drink, right?

Every family's got somebody who's got a living problem in it. In fact, the human condition, all human beings,

the human condition is that we do have living problems.

But if we're not alcoholic, we don't have this physical factor, right? So it says any, any picture or any description of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor, this allergy of the body is an incomplete description of alcoholic alcoholism. Very next sentence. The doctors theory that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us.

It's the very first time they say the word allergy

every. Anybody in here allergic to strawberries?

Nobody. There's usually one or two

anybody allergic to milk. There we go. OK, what happens to you when you when you drink milk?

OK, any

you become confused in the brain. OK, stomach ache. So she gets, she gets because there were only three hands. There's about 200. My guess is 250 to 300 people in this room,

three hands went up that said they they are allergic to milk. That means don't take this badly. You have an abnormal reaction to milk, right? Yeah, right.

Allergic just simply means abnormal, and the only reason it's abnormal is that most of you don't.

Now if,

if when if when we drank milk, 248 of us would get stomach aches and become confused in the brain and three of us would drink, nothing would happen. Well then what would they call milk?

Poison?

They would say you don't drink it.

We never would have picked that up as being a normal thing for human beings to drink, right? Then the normal reaction to drinking milk would be stomach ache, headaches and confusing the brain. And the abnormal reaction of milk would be no reaction, right? It's just as if people who are allergic to to bee stings or, or I'll use strawberries. I love the, I love the strawberry one. You know, if somebody is allergic to strawberries,

what usually happens is that their glands swell up, they can't breathe, they get hives, they get, they get swelled up red blotches and, and and hives, right? That's an abnormal reaction, right? But strong. Most people can eat strawberries very successfully, just like you, you had said, but I don't know, have you ever been? Does anybody know anybody that's allergic to strawberries? Wow, Iceland is not allergic to strawberries.

That could be of some genetic importance around here.

Is Aya here? She should tell go tell the fellows that decode about this.

But somebody who has that reaction to strawberries, swells up glands, hives, all of this type of stuff, when they go to the restaurant and the waitress comes around and says our special today is Strawberry Shortcake fresh in today. They don't say I'll take two.

They don't say it.

They go no, no, no, not me. Keep that away from here

you ever. They also don't need to go to Strawberries Anonymous, do they, in order to be able to do that.

They're just naturally able to do that based upon their history with strawberries. They've had bad experiences with strawberries. They now with no question in their mind. No, not for me,

right? But me with alcohol. I've got a terrible history with alcohol. Evidence in my life is overwhelming that drinking is a bad idea. You know,

the waitress comes by and says the specials are vodka kamikazes. I say I'll take two.

I, I have the capacity to say that while my jaw is wired shut from my last drunk

right,

All right, but this is, that's the mental component. That's the, that's the thinking component. The physical factor is and I'd like to do we have any pens for that?

Do we? And if you could bring it up here so I can grab to it, I'll, I'll just keep keep talking here. So

they're saying that we have a medical problem, We have this mental and physical

abnormal relationship with alcohol. Great.

OK, so saying we got two, can you guys see that most everybody is just two, two columns, One is physical, one is mental. So by this time what what they're saying in the doctor's opinion is we have we have both an abnormal body and an abnormal mind.

And what do you suppose or some what are some of the symptoms of this physical allergy to alcohol? What's the main symptom? Now the symptom to being allergic to strawberries is what? Swelling of the glands, hives, can't breathe. Those are the symptoms that would tell us, oh, you're allergic to strawberries. What is the symptom, the physical symptom of being allergic to alcohol?

This weird thing called the phenomenon of craving. You can't see it.

Nobody else can feel it, only we kind of feel it. As I said last night, that the best description for me in my life of this phenomenon of craving, which is my symptom of of being allergic to alcohol, just like the swelling and the hives are the symptom of being allergic to to strawberries. This phenomenon of craving in my life is I seem to get thirstier the more I drink.

When I would drink alcohol, it seemed like there was always this little pilot like

burning in my belly. Always just this little pilot light burning one inch behind my belly.

And when I would take a drink of alcohol, it's like throwing gasoline on a fire and it would just all of a sudden there is an unquenchable thirst going on. And if and if I have that that's alcoholic, that is a physical.

All right. Did I spell phenomenon right?

I think so.

I'm hoping you Icelanders wouldn't know anyway. Probably do. You probably know our own language better than we know it.

Now we're going to notice. I want you to turn one more page to Roman numeral 26 XXVI,

and let's look what the doctor says about that.

The first full paragraph, starting with the words we believe. We believe and so suggested a few years ago,

that the action of alcohol on these chronic Alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy, that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker.

How many people have ever experienced starting to drink and this idea that getting thirstier as they drank beer, they became thirstier the more they drank or just meaning to have a couple and all of a sudden find out that they drank 12 and all of it. How many people have ever experienced that in their life? OK, if you got your hand up, you're in serious trouble right now because it says right here never occurs in the average temperate drinker. It may, it may occur, and I don't want to confuse anybody right now, but there is a certain class,

a certain type of hard drinker that the book talks about, right, that may or may not be alcoholic or become alcoholic, but a certain type of hard drinker that may not be alcoholic, that may apparently experience this, but it never occurs in the average temperate drinker. So bottom line, if you just raise your hand, you are not an average temperate drinker.

Sorry,

my mother,

when I start talking about getting thirsty or the more you drink or this little pilot light and it feels like you just poured gasoline on the fire and it's now raging. She looks at me like I'm

like I'm crazy. Well, she's right, but she has no concept in any way shape or form and has no experience in alcohol ever doing that to her. No idea at all. Right,

all right, now

it says that these allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all. So that means now that it it, it's not OK just to drink mixed drinks. It's not OK now just to drink beer and lay off the hard stuff they're saying in any form at all. And they may they're even talking about mouthwash, Right Ted?

You'll have, you would have to hear Ted's story to to know that. And once having formed the habit, they found they cannot break it. Once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things, humans, their problems pile up on them and become astonishingly difficult to solve.

OK, before we get out and get on to this, underneath the phenomenon of craving, what are some of the things that Alcoholics do while drinking as a result of this physical factor and the phenomenal craving? What are some of the things that we talk about in meetings that we do as a result of that?

Wrecking cars, losing jobs, right? All those things,

those are all the things that are a result of the physical factor. What happens to us when we do drink, when we have alcohol in our system? Yeah, we wreck cars. At least I do. I imagine you do. We lose jobs

because we, you know, jobs get in the way of our drinking, don't they?

We, we ruin families and the list goes on and on and on, right. As a result of the things that we do while we have alcohol in US

and most people on this planet believe that's alcoholism, we don't, we can't control our drinking. We do all these crazy things that society doesn't like and if we would just knock it off, we'd be fine.

That's what most of society views. They don't quite understand this phenomenon of craving, but they know that we drink badly and that we drink too much and we and we say we're not going to, but they we do and that we do all these things. They have to lock us up. They have to get us out of their lives because we do these things. And if you would just stop, things will be OK.

And if that were true, like I said last night,

all we'd have to do is once a year we would have a Just Say No convention and that would be it. Maybe we would all wear shirts that say Just Say No just to give us a little reminder that no.

But there is another. Yes, Mickey,

I'm an alcoholic. I think they want you on there.

Hi, I'm Mickey Bush. I'm an alcoholic. Hi, Mickey. Do you have a definition or, or an explanation of what phenomenal craving is or means? What's the definition of a phenomenon of craving? It is. Well, what I've been trying to say is that for me, the way I describe it is that I when I drink, I cannot stop drinking. And it is a physical factor of that

of that alcohol has this abnormal reaction in my body

that I have this abnormal physical reaction of that I get this phenomenon of craving. I kind of understood that that's what happens. And the result of that happening is that I can't control my drinking. But what's, what does it mean for phenomenon or craving? What's the definition for phenomena craving? What is? Well, I'm not sure the definition you're looking for, Mick. And I bet you anything you'll be clearing that up when you do your 1-2 and three you right? I bet you you will.

OK,

now

the at the bottom of page 26 again.

What I'd like to show here is the next factor of it at the bottom. I love this paragraph. This paragraph describes my life better than any paragraph I know on this planet. It says men and women. Women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one.

Quick question, how many people are here

are on probation or have been on probation?

Did you know that that is not normal?

That is not a normal life. Having a many of us think that just get so used to having a probation officer that we just think it's normal.

That's not normal living. OK, How many people regularly and prior to coming Alcoholics Anonymous for many years, always some sort of conflict going on with their families on a regular basis. That is not normal living. That's not the normal life. How many people at least every 90 days would have some sort of catastrophe that seemed I just don't know how I'm going to get out of this one

at least every night. That's not normal living,

that's not a normal life, but we begin to accept that as being a normal life. That's just the way it is. To them. The alcoholic life seems the only normal one now when this next part is so beautiful, It's when we are sober with no alcohol in our system.

We are restless, irritable and discontented.

This is why,

unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks. OK, so

we have this mental obsession,

this this type of thinking,

OK, that leads us back to the first drink at all cost. And one of the things that sets us up there, and it's sort of I'm going to I'm going to be writing this third column here. And there's a reason I'm doing this because I'm going to bring it back here in a second is there's a third column of what we call the spiritual problem also. OK, I'm going to write that in there.

Before we get to that, I'd like to ask what are some of the things that we do that always lead us back to the next drink that might be symptoms of the mental obsession?

Hmm, rationalize. OK, I'll take that. How about rationalize or blame others for our problems?

Can we do that?

What's the big What's the big one?

This time it'll be different. Or

yeah, this time it'll be different.

How about if I just got the right woman or the right man? Things will be better and I won't need to drink this way. Anybody ever felt that way?

Or is it that our mothers keep telling us that if you just got the right woman or the right man, you would? And we go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or maybe not the right one, but maybe a different one.

Team.

How about it's this job

or I don't have a job? If I had a job or if I didn't have this job, I had a different job. If they paid me more money or if they didn't give me this much money, you know, they're actually people. I think if they just didn't pay me this much, I wouldn't be screwing up this way. And wouldn't you like to have that problem,

right? So that could be another one different job.

I know my writing is getting sloppy down here at the bottom.

All right, this list can go on and on and on. And if you work with other Alcoholics, you hear a new one every week, right? Of the of the reasons why that if they just did this,

this is going to be OK. And we have to understand that you can put anything into column #2 it doesn't matter. And column one is going to be there.

You could actually even start telling yourself the truth about all these things in your lives and not have any of these thoughts. And if we drink, column one is still going to be there, right? But it seems like when we combine those two, this strange thinking, this lying to ourselves and others, especially to ourselves, and this strange drinking,

we're in serious trouble. We're going to the gates of insanity or death. And as a result of that, I believe

is that we develop serious spiritual problems. Now,

all of mankind has spiritual problems, not just Alcoholics. Everybody has spiritual problems. That's the human condition. That's why mankind, so many people have turned to religion. They're always going to self help books. They're always turning to something. Mankind naturally seeks God. It's it's just been a fact ever since man even had the concept of of this stuff. They've always either sought God or created something that they could believe. In

ancient times, they would create Pagan gods that just at a

as a grasping at straws to try to answer these spiritual questions that they've had. If you study history, they've always done that,

alcoholic or not, alcoholic man has always sought God. Now when you combine these two things, this crazy drinking and this crazy rationalizing thinking, this insane thinking, and Mickey's going to go into really beautiful definitions of that when he he gets into his workshop. Now the when we combine those two, we're in serious, serious trouble.

Now, what I'd like to do is real, real quick, we're going to hop up out of the doctor's opinion for one second

to get

or. First of all, before we do that, before we do that, I want to put this restless, irritable and discontent

under the spiritual problem column.

OK? These are symptoms of our spirituality, that no alcohol in our system. We're trying desperately not to drink again. We're trying to cover all our lives from the last drunk. We're trying to figure out how we're going to get away with our next drunk.

Got all these problems going on and we become restless, irritable and discontent. You ever felt that way where it just been too long? We've been too good for too long

and damn it,

and we start going through our minds. All these other things. If I just had that woman or that man would just straighten out if that boss or that coworker would just leave me alone or do what they're supposed to do. I mean, that coworker, I mean, they do this. It creates so much more work for me.

If I just had more money, I wouldn't be always as every night worrying about the bills and and if my mother-in-law would get off my back and

with kids.

Oh

right, this resolution, this irritability and discontentment starts to trigger all of those blaming others for everything and sooner or later, just like it says, let's go back. I'm sorry for jumping up real quick. Back to the bottom of page Roman numeral 26. They are restless 0 and discontent unless they can again experience the ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks.

Drinks they see others taking with impunity. We all know that feeling.

We're there just pulling our hair out. If that coworker, that job, that wife, that husband, if we could just get them off our back. And we get to the bar and we get that first drink in and we're just about ready to explode and we get that first drink in and,

well, who gives a shit about that job anyway?