Glynn (Poppa) S. from Atlanta, GA at San Angelo, TX May 3rd 2002

Good evening, everybody.

And you know me, you know, Greg, still walking that path of spiritual progress. And I'm not here to preach that big book,

so we need to talk about that a little bit. But you know

what an honor and a privilege it is to be here tonight and share a little my experience, strength and hope with y'all. And

man, howdy, y'all should do things up big in Texas, don't you?

And you know, I'm still following suggestions myself 'cause they seem to be working.

And I want to take this time an opportunity

to thank the committee for asking me to come out here and

to tell my story. And, you know, so many of us come to these conferences and roundups and we only paid 132. It says we're not a glum lot. We absolutely insist on enjoying life and Manhattan. I love to do that. But

every time I do this, my sponsor, I always remember, he said. You better thank everybody involved

and you know, we really don't give enough credit. We come here, we stay 3 days and we go back home. But this thing wasn't done overnight, or over a week, or in over a month.

It takes about a year to get ready for these things and justice. Look indeed, little doilies up here

and the many, many people and one of my bad character defects I still got is, you know, it talks about the main problem of the alcoholic centers in the mind. And I slap can't remember everybody's name and I'm not going to try to, but

Donna sitting there looking at me and smiling and Marie and Donald run that hospitality room and she's only one in there. This morning when I got over there goes out an early bird

and

Bobby and Jimmy K and Greg and Steve. And I'm going to stop right there because I don't know everybody's name and I've met so many people. And I had a gentleman come up last night and he said, are you the dignitary from Georgia?

I said, no, Sir, I really am not. I'm a drunk from Georgia.

Boy. I like that word though. Dignitary. But I got to watch that ego

and it is great to be out here. And my brother, I got a brother who lives in a

Austin, TX and I hadn't seen him in several years. And so we decided on making this trip. We were flying there and spend a few days with him and then come on and drive up here and

we went to the Alamo and we went to that riverboat walk. Boy, did we walk. I didn't like that too much. I like to ride better.

And there's old Jimmy Ki will never forget. About 10 months ago,

9-11 something,

Greg called me and he said I got a young lady here would like to speak to you Papa. I said well put her on there

and he said her name's Jimmy Kaye. And so I got on that phone and she said, Papa, we just had a meeting and we would sure love to have you come out here and tell your story to the people in West TX.

And she said, we'll fly out and fly back and we'll

take care of your expenses and

put you up in a hotel or a motel, and we'll provide you for a Hostess for them three days.

And I said wish he looked like Britney Spears.

But she was honest. She said no, not really,

and I got raised.

Well, this is a program of deflation, isn't it?

Well, that's the way it works and you know, it's been great, it's been fun. And you know, my brother took us out to y'all going to have to help me because sometimes I talk a little slow. Boy, that Dang can go, can't she? I got a daughter as a school teacher too, and she can zip through that stuff and I'm not that quite that quick, but boy, she can get it, can she? But we went out to where was it? Lake Travis.

My brother had a beer and his wife and I got a big old glass iced tea.

You know, that's the funnies that Does this really bother you? And I said no, not one bit. You know what bother him more than did me? And

what we can really do, is it not true when we are spiritually fed? It's hard to believe so many things that I never thought I'd be able to do.

He had another and we had, he had to, and I kind of got a little resentment. I said, boy, he's not alcoholic, is he?

But we've had a wonderful trip in a wonderful time and it's good to be here. And I do I do I still follow suggestions. So I want to introduce my my little lovely wife. And if it's God's will come August the 23rd this year, we'll be celebrating 42 years of sobriety. And Donna, would you stand?

Oh, are you there?

I won't have to take a tense step on that.

How about marriage?

Who? Thank God Bill give us a tenth step

sometimes. He knew he wasn't quite playing with a full deck, didn't he?

But my lovely wife and you know, I better start this thing off right? And that's the way I generally do it. I have four children and five grandchildren and they all call me Papa and I'm an alcoholic.

Well y'all better wake up a little bit here.

And let me see where I'm going to go from here, okay?

It is absolutely been great. And

I'm going to tell you just a little bit about myself and how I got to this fellowship called Alcoholics Anonymous. And two months ago, I lost my sponsor

and his thing was Frankie Rice. And in 1984 and 85, he was a state delegates Alcoholics Anonymous from the state of Georgia. And I knew him 40 years.

And I wasn't born in Georgia. I've lived there for 40 years. Originally was born in West Baghdad, Virginia

and most of my people lived in Ohio

and

I, I do have to tell you one thing, when I was a drinking

one time

I was a president of the union for the company I work with for many years. And I flew all over this country negotiating contracts and

I got on a flight in Atlanta on the way to Chicago.

And I don't have me a few little Toddies there

and I'll sit there and, and all of a sudden I got down on my seat and I seen this little old gal getting on that plane. Man, Howdy, she looked good.

She looked like a little old fox. That's what we called him in my days. And she kind of welcome back towards me. And all of a sudden she sat down

and son, I was getting a little hot and sweating and bothered. And I said, whoo, what a PrettyLittleThing sitting here beside me. And I said I wanted to strike up a conversation. And I've had enough that that wasn't going to be very hard.

And I said you on the way to Chicago? She said, yes, I am. And I said business or pleasure, She said. Business,

she said. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniac convention in Chicago

and that thing wasn't doing very good then. And

because the 1st, the next question was what are you going to be doing there?

And she said I'm going to be a lecturer. And I said, you're going to lecture.

She said, yeah, I'm going to Dubuque some of the myths about sexuality.

That you kidding me? I said, like what? She said, well, the myth that the most well endowed is a African American and that's not true. In fact, the truth is that belongs to the Native American Indian. I say you don't say

the Native American Indian, another myth

that the best lovers were of the French descent, and that's not true. It happened to be the people of the Jewish descent. I said, well, and she said, well, we found out the best potential

lover of all time was old Southern redneck.

And she kind of blushed and got a little flustered in and she said, I don't know why I'm telling you all this stuff. She said, I don't even know your name. And I said Tonto, Tonto Goldstein,

and they all call me Bubba.

You know, we gotta laugh because that's what sobriety is about. And when I go someplace to get that privilege or opportunity to tell my story, you know, we all went to a meeting this morning with Greg over to some place.

And what was it Ray Sherwood?

And we talked about honesty

and how vitally important that is. But to me, when we have these roundups and these conferences, I think it's time to have a good fun. And that's the rewards of being sober today.

But anyway,

we went out this morning

engraved and body

and Jimmy K and we went to I hop to eat and they were two little ladies that nowhere at the other table beside us and they was a talking and I could not believe what they were talking about. And I,

I'm a, I'm a little deaf anyway,

and I heard one, his name was Mabel, another was Ethel. And she said, Mabel said you got a Suppository in your ear.

Greg was sitting across from and I punched Jimmy K as a Jimmy K. Want the hell did she say?

And she said, Papa, she said she told that early she had a Suppository in her ear.

Now, about that time, Ethel reached up and took that thing out and said, thank you, Mabel, thank you, thank you, thank you. And she said, why? She said. I think now I know where my hearing aids at.

These rewards are laughter and being funny.

That's what sobriety is about. If we can laugh, you know,

we'll probably return. They're doing what we used to do. And if we would like me, I drink a lot of liquor

and at one time it was a lot of fun.

And then it become a habit. And then that obsession

never, ever did. I figure that's going to happen to me

and where I worked and I worked over 35 years with the same company and

we work shift work and we would work 7:00 in the morning and get off at 3:00 in the afternoon. And next week we've worked three and afternoon and

get off 11 night in the next week, 11 at night and get off at 7:00 in the morning. And I've done that over 35 years and we never could get adjusted. And it was nothing like getting off 7:00 in the morning and having a beer. But that didn't last but a couple years and then it got to be a little bit stronger.

Never know an eye. That was one thing I had no intention on being an alcoholic because you know, Greg, and we was talking about that

big book talks about we have to drop some lifelong conceptions. And what I've visualized an alcoholic really was that man up underneath that bridge. And I knew that wasn't going to happen to me

because I worked and made a lot of money and I traveled around and

never, ever did I want to become an alcoholic. Is so funny.

I was talking about my sponsor who I lost just a couple months ago back in the mid 80s. He was the employee assistance program coordinator

at the factory and when people had problems there and I was president union, I really didn't get involved with most of the things till they look like it was going to arbitrations and it was a termination. And we sat down that employee and go through that record and look at it and

usually it was a lot of absenteeism. It always showed up and

I told him some of them I just slapped him. Son, we ain't got much work with here. And

but if we'll tell them you've got a problem, that's a disease. And I had no idea what I was doing, really didn't even care that much for that employee at that time. All I was trying to do was make myself look good and save his job and I could ship him off the treatment. And many of them recovered, some of them didn't. But the main thing I wanted to do is save his job. And some of them, we ended up just about putting them in straight jackets. But I've seen some of them today with 1720 years.

Never did I

feel that that would ever happen to me, and I pretty well thought I had doing things upright.

Oh, man. Howdy is time flies. Norman. Don't you hate it when an alcoholic starts looking to watch? You know he's going to be here. Wild. I'm not going to do that to you, I hope.

But I retired at the age of 55

and I was sitting on top of the world

and I, I kind of was felt like I would like

Frank Sinatra in Elvis. I've done it my way and I've done it up good.

And what did it go down here from? Then when I retired, I thought, man, from here on it's going to be party, party, party.

And it went party, party, party.

It went backwards.

It just didn't work the way I had it figured out. And

the day I realized that was God's plan, I spent so many years working with other people and represent them in that union. And

I had done so long, I I really didn't want to do that anymore. And

one day I was sitting at home and I would get up and the one thing about it, I was so smart. I thought the main thing I'll not do is become an alcoholic and I will never take a drink before noon.

And boy, I've been retired two or three months and I'd watch X lot.

Not really, till I sat down and wrote that first step and it talked about the preoccupation of the mind.

And that worked OK for a few months.

And I thought, what son,

you doing so damn good now that you could probably have one 11:00 in the morning.

So at 11:00 I would start having one and that went over a very short time and it was 10:00 and 9:00 in the morning and 8:00 and 7:00

and when I first got up. And I'll never forget right before I hit that bottom,

my daughter, she'd like I was saying about Diane. She's also a school teacher in

she come by the house one day my wife was working in

she had a little baby with her and leave about six months old and crawling across the floor and

and I was drunk and she said Daddy, you OK? And I said, you betcha. I'm doing just fine, honey.

Cannot get you anything. No, I don't need anything.

And she left.

I had two half a gallons I kept in the kitchen underneath the sink. And I never thought really till I've been in a fellowship for a few years about the fear of running out like Doctor Bob talked about in his story. And I cut two half a gallons in the dining room in the Butler and in the basement. I kept two half a gallon down there

and in the back seat of my pick up I kept 1/2 a gallon.

Son, I wasn't going to run out of liquor

and that thing was my best friend

for many years. It done for me what I couldn't do for myself,

never knowing anything about a progressive disease called alcoholism.

And

each day it got just a little bit worse and a little bit worse. And my wife, she works for a doctor.

I'd had some surgery, cataracts and she come home one night and she said, you know,

when I all I got to tell you this too, 'cause it is very important. I I weighed 240 lbs a day.

And I got a picture if you want to look at it when we get done. When I went in the last treatment center, I wait 138. When I retired, I weighed 190

and one of the first things that

made me wake up and see myself in this big book called Alcoholics Anonymous was

chapter 3 on page 32 about that man. Retired at 55

and four years later he was dead and I lived. I went two years, two months and two days and had lost over 50 lbs

and today I gained over 100 lbs.

When we go from one addiction to another.

So food tastes good today and I love to eat. And

you know, I just wanted to die. Death didn't. I did not fear. It was living what was miserable for me.

I was miserable before the drink, during the drink, and after the drink. My normal day was to wake up at 536 o'clock in the morning and

I didn't want my wife. No, I was drinking so much.

I go in there and get that cup of coffee and I'm put about two or three ice cubes in it, filled up half liquor and a half water

long. Sometimes after 7 she'd be getting up. Oh, I don't have a buzz going.

And I didn't want to know I was drinking that much. And I didn't know a thing about that word called denial.

And

come a little after eight, she would leave to work. And I say, thank God, now I can do some serious drinking. And I poured that little coffee cup out and I'd give me a glass and I fix it full of half liquor and half water

and drink to oblivion,

just like the book said. It had become my master. And I would do that till 2:00 in the afternoon and then

pass out and she would come home. Many a night I see her come in at 5:30 and go in there and get some good groceries out there and fix them. Cube steak and gravy and some green beans.

Light them tomatoes up and have a big dinner fixed with some rolls and honey. I got a good supper fixed. Not that honey. I ate about two sandwiches before I went to bed and I've had one hell of a day today

and I'm not really hungry right now. I'm going to watch some of this ball game. And I hadn't had a bite,

so I picked me another drink

and I'd start again. And

thank God for 10:00 at night, she'd say it's just about time I'm going to bed. And I said, well you don't worry 'cause I gonna put things away

and thank goodness she go to bed and

I walk in there. I grab a couple pieces of that cubes taken, put on a paper plate and even today where we live, we got a big three story house over 4000 square feet and three acres of land. I go down the basement, open up that refrigerator and put them two pieces of cube steak in there. I come back up and get the garbage can and take a lid and some of that stuff out there and scraping them whole beans.

That's a nice taters and sliced tomatoes and cucumbers and covered all back up from knife and meat.

But everything refrigerator and get up from on in and swear honey, the best supper you ever fixed have the leashes. It was and I hadn't eat a bite.

It just got worse. And to this day, and I know there are many definitions of hitting that bottom and I know I hit the old fashioned bottom. And I'm hoping there's somebody here with a new end of this program that can see some of your some of me and you.

And no, we have a fatal terminal disease called alcoholism,

and over any considerable period of time it gets worse, never better.

My wife had come home and said, Barbara, Willie

says you sure do look bad. And she said, you look like you're going to die.

I said, you know, she really needs to mind her own business

because I had it all together and she had nothing going. She said, you know, you're not going to live. And I I knew that I absolutely wanted to die.

And I've been to some treatment centers before. They just didn't work

and she said. I'm going to make another call if you would like to try,

you know, kind of bad go, like I said about this little Al Anon of mine.

This was in September

and later on, after she told me her story, she said we hope he sure died before Christmas so he gets straightened out on everything.

Everybody knew I was dying and I did too, and that didn't scare me.

Yeah,

that little Al Anon gives me lots of suggestions today

and one thing about I found out about my Allen on June, a lot of other ones. You know one thing about him? Al Anon son basically didn't female Al Anon

basically mine.

They don't snore, they don't sweat,

they don't burp, they don't pass gas. Therefore, if they don't bitch it blow up

and I got things on

and we love them from the bottom of our heart how much they mean to us. And I guess that's about other than a a, the second best fellowship around.

But anyway, she made a phone call

and off to another treatment center.

I just couldn't figure this thing out.

So we got down there

to Statesboro, GA,

call Willingway, where there's a will, there's a way.

We checked in there about noon and I was trembling and nervous and underweight.

But the worst thing, probably 6 months before I went in that treatment center,

I knew I was dying and I was losing control of my bowels and I was losing control of my kidneys.

And I told my wife we got five big bedrooms. I said you snores a damn much, honey. I won't move in another bedroom.

I wasn't gonna take the blame. It was her fault

because I was dirtying up so many drawers and I happened to go to Kmart and buy new ones. I didn't want to put them in a hamper.

And if I had to get a haircut or take care of some business, well, we can figure things out. I'd go get some of that Imodium

and then I had to go get some extra strength and mold in because I was afraid I'd be getting a haircut and have an accident.

My whole physical function was shutting down. I could eat nothing, I couldn't sleep. I was losing control of everything and I still wasn't an alcoholic.

So after the hospital we went and we got in there about noon one day. And boy,

God does work in mysterious ways. And

we sat in that hospital and they got me checked in. And

about 2:00 that afternoon, we kissed and she left and come back home. It's about a little over about a four hour drive back to Atlanta.

And about 6:00 that night, I went into the DTS

and they took me out of treatment center and took me to a hospital called Bullock Memorial Hospital in

put me in emergency room

and my temperature was up to 105°

and they couldn't break it and they couldn't get it down. And

my liver wasn't functioning. And I still carry this discharge paper around. Well, I should look at it today.

When I left that hospital they said

medical problems, alcoholism, chronic alcohol induced liver disease, high animal hernia, colon polyps.

My liver wasn't functioning. All that poison had went to my feet and they were swelled up big as basketballs. And today each one of my feet feel like they got about 15 shots of noble cane in them. They got killed all the nerve endings in them

and I was still not an alcoholic.

Gastric reflux anemia with

hemoglobin positive in a stool. Not blatant bad

and they had three doctors there for working on me,

Doctor Whitlock, Dr. Tillman and Doctor Bobby Mooney and

I was in ICU and

they had almost give up hope and they called my wife. She had just got home and said we hate to tell you this but you need to get back down here. We don't think your husband is going to make it through the night.

She loaded up him back down. She come and you know, I didn't care if I made it through the night or not.

There was the pain was so bad

and you know, I hear people talk about alcoholic bottom

and when

the pain outweighs the pleasure. But the best definition I've heard of in many people says how do you know when you hit your bottom?

And I said when life gets worse faster then you can lower your standards.

Think about that one.

And that's what I was trying to do and how very true that is in my life.

But

by today I realized it was by his only grace that I made it through that ICU and I got into a hospital room and I stayed there about a week

and I was coming to and them doctors, how much I owe my life to them. And I'm glad I wasn't in Hotland at that time ago. They wouldn't have known what to do with an alcoholic

in that condition. And

Doctor Tillman come in. I said, man, I'm feeling better, son. I'm about ready to get out of here.

So what all do you find wrong with me? And I knew in my heart he was going to say you've got prostate cancer, you've got a lung cancer. You I knew all that. And he said you've got some very bad medical internal problems. But he said, I think you're going to make it. But your worst problem is you're an alcoholic.

And I said, you don't say,

well, I can handle that doc.

And he said, well OK,

so I said I won't talk to that other doctor. I want to go and buy what one doctor told me.

I was too smart for that.

So that afternoon, after talking to Doctor Whitlock, Dr. Tillman come in and yeah, I just was talking

to that doctor and he said that I was a chronic alcoholic. Yeah, he did say that. I said what, you think he's. I'm gonna have to agree with him.

Well, things started looking bad then, didn't they?

I just didn't want to accept that

and I thought, Doc, I'm going to tell you what I've heard from YouTube. I won't hear from that other doctor,

OK? He said. There won't be no problem. We'll let you talk to him. And

he didn't come in that day and that that afternoon, son, I, I had woke up, I'd feeling a little bit better. And I guess they had done detox me

to what they could anyway. And but I still couldn't control my bowels or anything. And then I had needles sticking in my arms and down my throat and all over them, both legs propped up in the air because they swelled up like basketballs. And

but the one thing I wanted, I told my wife I want a cigarette, and she said, you've got to be kidding. I said I don't want a cigarette. Well, she didn't have any. I said, well, go back

to that hospital, they had put her up and get some and bring them back here and I had them nurses I couldn't get out of bed and they about had me tied down. It looked like them old days. Well, I wasn't being very cooperative. What they tell us, defiance is outstanding characteristic of Alcoholics. And I didn't have a little lies to eat up with it.

So my wife had left and I wasn't. I had all kinds of buttons here to push if I had to do anything. I had a pain hit me. I had to go,

but I was a little groggy. I wasn't real stable,

but I didn't want to bother nobody, so I was going to do that myself. So I have pull this little thing and I've come out of that. I come out of them straps and I got this little thing and this is honest to God screws. I I started in there at the bathroom. I I got the door open is a pretty long bathroom.

I couldn't get I didn't handle bridges on anyway, but I couldn't get sat down fast enough.

I had a blowout

and only one cheek hit that thing son and I come tumbling off there and busted my head against the wall when I was a bleeding

and I load in that floor and you know them little gowns only come down about here.

I had that thing already up to back of my neck

and I busted my head

and I couldn't get up,

I said. Now wait a minute, boy, I'm in a heap of trouble now

and I've done had that blowout. So I looked over and seen that little red thing hanging down, Said Pulled here in case of emergency.

And I couldn't get up, so I started scooting on my back

when I had shoo shoo from my head to my ears.

It didn't listen and didn't feel good.

I had some help

I down there and I could not raise up and reach that thing. But also we Alcoholics are very inventive, man. I thought, man, I'm going to lay here and die and bleed to death and I was thinking pretty bad by now

and I got to have some help,

but tell me we're not smart. I thought, you know what, maybe I could do it with my foot.

I couldn't get my hand that high, so I raised my foot up

and I got it caught in that little red thing and it's down and come.

Well, you think I wasn't in some trouble?

Gonna make about 55 nurses come in there

and if I'm lying, I'm dying in at least one.

They were black. They look like Aunt Jemima

and the Leaf 1 weighs 300 lbs.

What's he doing down there?

I look back up at her and I said I was slipping and sliding.

And that happened.

And son, they come into holds me down right there,

but they got me hose down and got me back in that room and

they were angry.

I thought I had asked whooping coming right thing big time

and my wife come back and boy did they start in on her and I like that.

That took some heat off of me

and the next day

that other doctor showed up and hey there doctor, how you doing? He said. What in the world have you been into?

Said. Well, I'm I'm getting better.

He said, what is your problem? And I said, well, you know doc, I'm going to I'm going to have a level with you. I don't listen to him. Other two quacks

I want doctor tell me the real truth about me and he said well what do you want me to tell you? I said do you know them? People said I have Alcoholics, I've chronic

and I know better than that. And he said you do. And he said I said yes Sir, I do. And he said then you die.

That got my attention kind of quick. What do you mean I'll die? He said. You have a disease called alcoholism, and for you to drink is to die,

he said. You see, it's only disease knowing the man that keeps telling you you ain't got it.

He said how cunning, badly and powerful this disease is.

I said, well, what makes you think you're an authority on that?

So see, I wasn't really satisfied yet,

he said. You see, I'm an alcoholic and I'm a drug addict.

Oh OK,

that had to be God sent.

He was armed with the facts

and he talked a lot about himself and I could see myself in him. And today that doctor and me, we are the best of friends and I was visiting last weekend in Statesboro, GA

and we really related.

So off to that little treatment center I went,

and he talked about the three essentials of honesty, willingness,

and an open mind.

And a lot of things said I surely didn't want to hear.

But today I realized they were the things I I needed to hear.

I stayed there a couple months in that treatment center and today I can honestly tell you and I know many, many people I work with in treatment center and hospitals

and the lives they turned around, but I still honestly and my heart

feel this in place is only one thing. Their discovery

and recovery starts in Alcoholics Anonymous.

That's what happened to me and it took a long time from my mind to clear.

And when I left that facility, I went back home

and my wife had, she was driving me and she she didn't know what to think. And I didn't either.

I had one tremendous fear

that I I just a little too goofy. I wasn't gonna make this thing called a a. I just didn't really think I had a chance. And

but one thing about it, I'd known my sponsor, like I said, for over 40 years and I knew he had a a lot of recovery and I knew he knew a lot about this fellowship called AA. And boy was I scared,

Boy was I scared. And the first thing I did is I went to see him

and he said, man, you going to have to make a lot of meat. I said, OK. And he said, I want you to pick up that big book called Alcoholics Anonymous.

And I picked that up and

you bet you I'm going to tell you one thing. I'm a big book thumper because that thing saved my life.

That is the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous. And that's what he told me. And he said that's what we do with a textbook. We study it,

and he said we got to learn the program before we can live. It didn't mean a lot of sense to me right then. Today it means everything.

He said it was found in the 1st 164 pages. I said wow and their mother places when I seen that book I seen it that big. And I said I ain't going to sit down and read all that thing. And he told me about them stories in the back and he said you 2 have a story but the recovery is found in them first 164 pages. And I want you to read that name and we're going to read it together. But once you read it the first time by yourself, so

and I want you to make meeting a lot of them

and I want you to get a pad like I seen Greg today sitting down in a meeting taking note called what a learning program. This is what a learning program.

So I took that little old pornographers notebook and I've done went through three or four of them, son.

Because just like each and every person who goes to bed tonight, if you hadn't had a drink, you two are a winner

for after them meetings. I started

and I heard him talk about 90 meetings in 90 days. Well, I figured out too far going for things like that. And I guess it was only by God's grace that

I was up for each morning and man, at 10:00 I was going to meet him. And at 1:00 I was catching another. And then at 5:30 I'd catch another. And then at 8:00 that night and

my first 90 days, I, I wrote them down. I, I took a little 3 by 5 index card and I said, OK, there's another one. There's another one. I still got that card today in in first 90 days I made 227 meeting

and then next 90 days I think I made like 217

and the next 90 days

220 thumb again and then the last 90 that first year 2217 or so. Anyway, 857 meetings that first year because I just knew I wasn't gonna get it.

But one thing about it, I had a enough willingness, I had went through enough pain and

I read that big book and I went through it and I read that doctor's opinion and

each and every chapter thereafter. And I got done. And he said, OK, tell me what you found in that big book about you.

And you know the only thing in this honest to God truth, because see, that's what happened to me of it. Well, the only thing I can tell you, Frankie, that I seen in there about me was in that doctor's opinion,

anytime you leave out the physical factor of the alcoholic, the picture is incomplete.

That's what Mr. William Duncan. And you see, I got it all together other than my physical part.

Who dog? And he said, Son, you are real sick.

I said, what you talking about? That's all I lost. I would have still been drinking if it wasn't for my health.

He's at Papa when you are sicker than you ever thought you were.

And he said many meetings, many chances, few meetings, few chance, no meetings, no can.

So I was willing to follow them suggestions. And he said, I gotta ask you a question, son. He said why did you drink to begin with?

And I said, well, I, I, I drink because I liked it.

And he said, why did you continue? I said, well, he he got to be a habit

and why did you continue after that? And I said

ahead to drink. Well, well, well, he said. Then we're going to go to a A, the very same way you're going to go in the beginning because you have to go.

You're going to continue going and it will become a habit

and you're going to continue going

because you want to.

Who you think I wasn't taking his inventory. I thought is he's full of it,