Wayne M. from Canada at Rochester, NY August 1st 1992

Good evening, young people of Alcoholics Anonymous of Rochester. I'd like to congratulate you on your convention.

You've done a fantastic job to the committee. They deserve a hand and for people that came out tonight and today

to support this wonderful occasion. It's your first and it's my very first conference of young people of Alcoholics Anonymous

and I'd like to thank you for inviting me. It is an honor and a real privilege for me. I'm an alcoholic.

Yeah,

hello. I am very privileged to be here today.

I love you people, and I really mean that.

I really do. I was sitting up here and looking out in the audience and I see these young people. I say in my language, I say,

which means you people are so cute and so sweet.

I'm young in Alcoholics and army. I love Alcoholics Anonymous and I love the way I am today because of you people.

You know?

I'll try not to get into an hour and a half drunk a lot. Maybe I'll knock off 5 minutes, OK?

People who get tired, and I'm one of them, you know?

Oh, you know, I come from an Indian Reservation on Christian Island, South on Georgian Bay. We are on the map, you know,

if you have a look, you know, I'm very, I'm very nervous, like I always am in front of an audience. I got butterflies and I'm sweating and I'm shaking, OK. That's all part of the course of being sober, I think.

Where did this come from?

I have four sisters and five brothers, OK, I do have a mother and a father, OK? At one time I come from a big family. I used to hate my parents. I really did. I hated my father and I hated my mother,

especially when they were drinking, because I seen things I should not seen when they were drunk and I heard things I should not hurt when they were drinking. The arguments would start on a Friday night. And I used to hate drums.

I hear him with a passage that early in my childhood I had my legs broken. OK, both of them.

And I suffered pain all my life

because I have to severe arthritis and my legs never healed right.

And when I went to school people used to laugh at us because I used to always get hand me down clothes. And I remember on weekends my father or my mother would beat up my father. I have was ashamed of my father for long that to happen.

See, I used to see my father beat up my mother

and my my dad would wake us up two or 3:00 in the morning

to go and look for my mom, who she who he threw out. I remember my father threatened to burn us down and tied us up.

And I remember at a very young age I suffered from claustrophobia.

I used to hide in the basement, I used to hide into the attic, and I used to hide in the bushes to get away from my father. She, my father, created fear, and fear was instilled in my life at a very young age.

I used to despise flocks. I hated my father and I hated my mother,

get me wrong, but I love them. When they weren't drinking, they were the best. My mother was the best mother I had, and so was my father. I loved him, I really did. But I hated the alcohol. See, I used to see a lot of wine and stuff like that and a lot of times we didn't have food on the table and we had lectricity pulled out, you know,

and we didn't have plus like a toilet like like what they have here in the cities. I used to walk in the old house, you know, in the winter time and stuff like that.

I came from a poor family.

I don't blame that for being alcoholic.

I remember that first drink I had. I'm not one of these Alcoholics that rolled it on the wall that I was 13. There's a magic number in Alcoholics Anonymous. No, I have to be honest with you today and tonight. I don't really remember when I first picked up my first drink, but I remember when I was young and it was a bottle of wine. 671 BI could still remember the numbers for this day. I used to admire people that were older than myself. I used to run around with a gang I used to love.

They used to have a prom paper bag with a ball of goof on there.

Admire the guys that are older than me the way they used to snap the the bottom end of the bottle of wine. You know, I I'd want to do that. You know, everybody was bigger than me and older than me. So when they passed a bottle of wine to me, I chugged a lot right away.

I wanted to drink my chair, OK?

I didn't even like everybody. All the guys that used to run around with, I used to be like somebody, you know? Wow. I remember the wine going down.

Oh, I started to get hot and I start perspiring. You know, like I want to drink right away again.

I was always worrying about Keith. I was going to have enough or if I was going to get another drink,

I didn't even put in no money in a bottle of wine like they used to Always chip, chip in for a bottle of wine, OK? And a lot of times we ran out of money or a lot of booze, so we started using substitutes, OK. I started sniffing gasoline to get high. I sniffed nail Polish remover to get high. I sniffed degreasing fluid to get high.

OK, we're always running out of Booth. So I start to break, breaking to houses and cottages to look for booze

as I want. I see when I picked up a drink, I changed. Alcohol gave me false curves. My chest was popped up. I was too inches taller than I am now, you know, It gave me false courage. I talk. I talk tough, I ask Mark. I try to impress people. I don't want to impress. I'm showing off. I'm better than they are, you know,

16 years old. I was crawling in and out of houses and beating up drunk. Somebody like Jim over there. I'd wait for them to get drunk, you know?

Yeah, I always wanted to take advantage of somebody. I'm one of these flunks that condition out and could not take it. OK,

you know, then I bribe to the boys how much they used to drink, you know. How much did you drink last weekend, Wayne? We drank them up, two bottles of wine. Meanwhile, I only had a sit, you know, But I'd help it, you know, all. Was I ever drunk? I'd go lie to the boys, you know. I was 1615 around there. All the girls looked good to me at that time, you know, But I was more interested in booze, you know. I want to have fun with the boys. We were always getting somebody to use to get us a bottle of wine

or some beer or we rolled somebody. So I was drinking underage, OK. In Canada the drinking age was 21, so we got somebody. One of the biggest mistakes they did in Canada was drop the age from 21 to 18, okay? So I started using my brothers drivers license to get in the hotels, okay. You know, everybody was my friend in the hotel.

Yeah. Everything was great. Good. Fantastic. That's real good about myself. I left the reservation. I got a job. My mom's no longer nagging me, you know, telling me what to do. I'm young. I'm single. Know that he's going to tell me what to do period. You know?

Yeah. So I used to go back to the reservation, get drunk, you know, cause a fight and stuff like that. And these blackouts, my alcoholism. I used to only drink Friday nights minutes. I'll start to get to Saturday night. And a lot of times I didn't know what had happened to me. I remember one night I forgot the three O 3 and I want to shoot some minions. OK, You know, I went hunting

after hours, you know,

OK, I think I was 16 1/2 then, you know, ah, boy. And I went to court and all this stuff. I was supposed to be sensed to five years in the penitentiary. It's my first offense. And I remember I went and walked into Alcoholics Anonymous. I think I was 17 years old.

You know, I see somebody here in the suit and Gray hair. I remember first two meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous I attended. John, too young to be an alcoholic. And it's all right for him. He's over to help. He's going the other way. He should quit drinking.

That's the kind of attitude I had. You know, nobody going to tell Wayne what to do, period, you know? So I set out those two meetings, you know, I think I lasted. You know, they told me to come back to 90 days, 90 meetings. I think I lost in 90 seconds.

close mine completely, you know? So I set out to learn how to control my drinking. Control drinking to me is like trying to control diarrhea. Once I start, I cannot stop.

Wow. Bitter powder. Let's get out. Her. Nothing holding me back, you know. Oh, somebody offered me a drink. My eyes would light up, you know?

Are we going to run out or where can we get some more, you know? Oh yeah,

let's go to Toronto for a drink. Yeah, sure. Let's go. You know, I had a lot of problems with my drinking, OK?

My my mother had a serious drinking problem and it was me

waiting. You know what you did last night?

Waiting. You got drunk last night. You almost burned us down. The whole house was in smoke ring. You passed out while you were cooking. Yeah,

all because of having a good time, maybe just having one drink. You know, I thought I was always having fun and I lost control.

I can't stop drinking. I thought I was really having a good time. When I was drinking. I used going to hotels, OK? There were young people like my age, OK, 1718 years old. You know everybody. My friend in the hotel, you're great, Good. Fantastic for me to drink your sucker

and spend all my money. When I worked, I started on a Thursday night, now got all my money here and not pay my rent and stuff like that. You know,

I got credit cards. I tried to get sucks on my charge acts, you know get it now pay later, you know wow

And I financed the motorcycle Afrofinance. You know the worst people you can borrow money off. You know I used to drive around like Cat Ballou. I spent more time under the motorcycle than on top of it, let me tell you.

Yeah, my, my, I kept drinking, OK.

And I had many geographical cures. And anytime I had a problem, if somebody confronted me that I had did something when I was drinking, I couldn't face that person. I'd run away. I'd go on a temper tantrum. If I wasn't on a temper tantrum, I was fighting, you know,

I was so used to having my own way, okay?

And I kept drinking, OK? I'm starting to see all kinds of crazy things. I'm hearing noises. I have blackouts constantly. I remember my mother used to get after me. Wayne, you know what she did again last night? You puked all over the couch and you rolled in it. You know when you got your own water bed, you're beating it again.

Yeah, my mom used to keep used to keep cleaning up my message, ain't I ate a pound of butter. I ate dog food. OK, You people call it compost today, but I used to eat that when I was drunk, you know?

I just kept drinking, OK? I'm starting to lose respect for myself. And I don't care what happened to me, OK?

I ran away. And I blame everybody else for my problem. If that nag bag would get off my back, it would. I'd be all right. And then that mother of mine, she kept after me. OK, when you drink too much. So one Sunday morning, I punched her right in the face. I punched her in the iron. She went blind. And I'm not proud of that. And the time I try to hang myself, don't try it. It hurts,

I know. It's another time I I was torn in jail with my brothers,

cousins or the guys that used to drink with before I got picked up. Apparently I was supposed to get in this taxi. I jumped in the cab cruiser, OK, And I woke up in jail again.

How although he's getting picked up OK, for being drunk. And I remember what happened to this big tough Indian, you know, after after a couple of drinks or after I got drunk, I really thought I was something, you know, and I would get beat up and put in the hospital. I got my nose broken. I got teeth marks on my left arm. I got my ribs broken. I got punched out so many times. I was in the hospital four different times.

In one particular night, I got thrown in jail again. I tried to burn the sucker down. OK,

yeah, all these wonderful things were happened to me, all because of one drink and trying to help, trying to have a good time.

And I then I ended up on Skid Road. My brother found me, you know, he drove me home on a wheelbarrow. What a way to go home

like every town has got Skid Rd. Sometimes it's in your own mind or in your own home, or you're not in your own house.

Alcohols got no respect for age, beauty, color, race or creed. I remember,

you know, when I was drinking, boy, I didn't. I used to feel sorry for myself. If only people would leave me alone, I'd be alright. You know, two or 3:00 in the morning, I'm crying S pity. Okay,

go away now.

Yeah, everybody's checking on me

and I remember slapping my baby sister in the face. They I started to get jealous of my brothers and sisters because they were getting all the attention and I wasn't.

I remember I see the maggots coming out of my skin, out of my arm. I'm starting to see devil snakes and I'm standing here noises in my head. I got ringing in my head constantly from the beatings I took

well, and at times I used to miss work. When I was at work, I'd lied. I'd start to chew, cheat, steal. I start to steal from my family. I start to lie to them more often.

I was always using excuses to cover up from my mistakes

and I remember trying to hide my booze in the chicken coop and I locked the girl. I locked it. You know, my my dad had a small farm,

so I couldn't get in there. I lost secured a combination whatever. So I crowding where the hole was. Talk about being tired and Saturday, you know, like, ah,

I had, you know, chicken, chicken crap all over me and was all over me. Man, what a site.

Oh, yeah. See, my boost, my wine, my beer. You know, in a lot of times, I didn't want to be an alcoholic, so I quit drinking hard liquor. So I so I I stopped also drinking wine because I didn't want to be a whiny. So I got into the beer. OK, I got feeling good. I started mixing in wine, beer and whiskey. You know, I bitter powder. Let's get at her. There was no stopping wane. Once I got going, it became a mental obsession.

I start to palm stuff off. I remember trying to pawn off a Turkey with some drinks. Christmas time was very bad for me. Very, very bad for me. Christmas time, I made all the funny, phony commitments to myself and pledges and notes. Now I was going to clean up my account. I was going to quit, quit drinking. Somebody offered me a drink. I was gone.

Oh, my good intentions went out the door. I couldn't care less, you know

I had a blackout Christmas time. My aunt told me about this and my mother. I was humiliated. Apparently I had blacked out and I pissed down my aunts Christmas tree at Christmas time. What a thing to do. How can you do such a thing way?

Anytime I did something wrong or stupid it was always rubbed in my face. All my life I've been yelled at and put down and criticized to weighing your sick. You're crazy. You bring nothing but misery and pain in this house. That's all it was. Was just a house to drink and flop down. A lot of times my mother cleaned me up.

All her life my mother tried to teach me from right and wrong

not to steal, not to lie, not to cheat.

I really lost myself respect.

I loved all the women in the hotel when I was drunk. You know, we look so good. You know, I had a sex problem when I was drunk, OK, I get all so excited. I get all worked up. You know, when I get drunk, I forget all about it.

So my love life was not the greatest, nothing to really brag about, but I cried when I, when I ran into the boys, you know, like I lied, you know, like,

you know, and always blaming somebody else, you know, for my problem. I couldn't stop drinking.

I started drinking rubbing alcohol again.

I started drinking after shaving lotion for a while there. I have the sweetest breast in town.

You have to excuse me, our language and the way I talk because I've been punched in the head too many times.

I almost had my jaw broken and my cheekbones to have a hard time sometimes with my my word.

My nose is pretty straight today because of the doctors. They

and that Dorothy, I am the biggest hypocrite of Alcoholics Anonymous. So many times I criticize people. I will put you down to make myself look good.

I am not proud of that. I am the biggest hypocrite that walked in the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous. I went to church drunk. I called the priest. I, I passed out before he got there. I made fun of the Salvation Army. I slammed the door and I slammed the door in their faces because I just wanted somebody to talk to me because I was always lonely, OK? And a lot of times I ran out of booze. I used to pass out two or three times on the weekend.

You know,

all people used to laugh at me.

No, Oh no. There he comes again. You know,

because they didn't know what I was going to do. I had lost total respect for myself. If you had a girlfriend in the hotel, if you were dancing. I became jealous. What is she doing with him when she could be with me? If you had a wife? I wanted her. What she doing with him? Well, I heard a wedding out here just a while ago. I just. And I brought back memories

what she's doing with him. You know

what's wrong with me?

What's wrong with me? You know? And I had a mouth on me like a sewer,

you know, I'm sanitizing, you know, about women and stuff. Like I'm a dreamer, the whole bit. I mean, I remember the first time I fell in love

in the hotel. It was a stripper. OK,

I'm drunk. I'm sitting in the front stage, you know, I'm eyeing her up, you know? I'm fantasizing what I'm gonna do with this woman. She's 6 foot five, £250, you know, And I need a ladder to get hotter, you know? Wow.

Oh,

I'm just a little fucker, you know,

and it

take me didn't take so much to throw me out, you know, like get cut off. You're not allowed to touch this girl. I did a lot of traveling, you know, the bar.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

They never welcomed me back. You know, like an alcoholic, synonymous to say come on back. They never did that to me. See, I wanted the people and the bartenders and stuff like that to like me. So they wouldn't cut me off. I'd go and wash my face in the washroom so I would not look so drunk, so I wouldn't get cut off. It's pretty hard to do when you're tripping over your legs, you know?

It's harder for me because I'm bowling it OK,

you know. And they kept drinking.

You know, many times I wanted to stop drinking on my own. I was not successful.

All I needed was to do was sniff the cork. I was gone. I'm not one of these Alcoholics that can come up here and brag like I could stand and drink 40 lbs or a 45 gallon drum. No, I'd be lying to you if I did. You know,

it doesn't take me much to get drunk,

but I can't stop. It's an obsession. It's a sickness.

Why is it always the alcoholic or the drum? The last one to realize they got a drinking problem. Everybody else was confronting me and everybody else was telling me I had a problem with these, with my rotnarity and the way I was thinking, no, what? He's going to tell me what to do.

I'm young, I'm single. Nobody loves it wrong. I found that out

and I brought a lot of humiliation. I remember putting the boots to my sister.

We're abused. Children

became abusive. Myself,

as I seen it.

I was extremely jealous of my sister

and one time I want to snuff out my whole family.

I want to burn them down again or try

because I felt deep hurt and deep rejection.

In the meantime, my mother had quit drinking. She was sober 15 years through the church

and my father stopped drinking. He had about 5 or 10 years,

then we were getting older and one of my older brothers died in the fire. OK, he was burnt to that he was drunk.

Well, I suffered a lot of pain when I was drunk.

I caused a lot of misery for a lot of people. There's one year I don't like to talk about or have started a fight, and this guy was killed. He did die after. I'm not proud of that. If I wouldn't have started that fight, that guy would be alive today. And with my motorcycle, I was. I was driving around the front. I run over this old bag. OK,

I was going to the hotel just to have one drink,

you know, To this day she walks with a cane. That's what I did,

trying to have a good time so people would like me and so people pat me in the back that I was a good guy.

I try to treat myself to death,

you know, I'm thinking she was that all the time.

I'm kicking the walls at home. My mother must have threw me out 1000 times

and I remember walking down the road downtown Midland after I got thrown out looking for a drink. I'm walking down the road with two garbage bags and a cardboard box. That's all I have. See, I forgot to pay the rent because my drinking buddies were so important.

And a lot of part of my drinking.

Sheer health. How do I live like that again?

You know, I'm holding my liver. I'm yellow. I'm hemorrhaging.

I hear things in my head. Wayne, you're crazy. No, you're not crazy. They're crazy. Not you. No, they're crazy. I am

sorry, I said. When I was drinking, we were coming off a drunk. I couldn't face people, OK? I used to blame God. I used to curse God for every rotten thing that happened to me in my life. I was always blaming somebody else. Except Wayne

and I remember seeing one of the strangest things in my entire life. I come off a drunk, I'm holding my nose and blood in my liver.

I said, oh, God help me,

you know, and it gave me enough courage

to ask my boss to be committed at the Ontario Hospital and Pandit bang machine at the psych ward. OK. My last blank was made. Attention was on Mother's Day. I don't have to stop drinking for my mother. I want to surprise my mother because I want to stop drinking. I was in a mental institution, OK? My mother cried all the way. And my baby sister and my older brother, One of my older brothers, they locked themselves

in the car for half an hour.

My mother didn't realize how far I've gone. She what? She went to the criminally insane Oakridge Maximum security. But I went to dry and out clinic OK in the bug house

and she cried. I always heard the ones I love,

people that cared about me, I turned my back on them and especially my mother.

Oh, I used to curse my mother.

She was the only one that was there.

I'm going to start talking about the benefits of Alcoholics Anonymous one day at a time through you people,

the people responsible for this new way of life. 365 days of continued sobriety. In spite of myself and in spite of new people, I stayed Chober. Other people on the reservations found out I was in AA and I was at the bug House.

They used to laugh at me. All my drinkers buddies laughed at me,

you know, and I was hurt and I'd go crying to my mom. My mom became my friend,

the only friend that cared. My drinking buddies couldn't careless.

He squeezed in a way, you know, he said.

You know, they used to laugh at me, make fun of me. Wayne, did you get shock treatment? Wayne? Were you in a paddock cell? You know? Were you in a bubble room? You know,

that would really hurt me. I took that very personal,

You know, I don't want to hurt them and I want to. Good evening.

I come in a I had a lot of anger and I was bitter. I was frightened, I was scared. I was very lonely and I didn't trust you people. I remember people that came to Alcoholics Anonymous, to the institution there where I was. The one old lady come up to me, says Wayne. Come on back, we love you.

It's been a long, long time since I heard that, eh?

See, after the meeting, I used to walk or wash the floor with my mop, OK? Like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Neck. That's what I used to do because I didn't want you people to get to know me. That I was a $3 bill. Real funny,

that was my way of keeping new people at Bay.

It took me a while, you know,

and when I was in the institution, in the bug house, I started to become institutionalized. Nobody could hurt me. I'm stay clear. I'm proud. What to do? I get 3 square meals, I get pills, medication. When I walk, I feel good.

You know, they told me, wait, I think you should try Alcoholics Anonymous. You got no place else to go,

no other place to go. Win.

I've kept going to your meeting open once and close once, 365 days.

You people gave me something I've never received in my my entire life, a one year medallion. It was over 100 young people at my one year medallion in Midland and population of Florida. 100 young people.

I was the youngest Indian that come in the Alcoholics Anonymous. I think I was 26 at the time.

Are they used to laugh at me? This guy will never make it. I felt hopeless, defeated and beaten.

The All my life I've been put down and criticized and screamed out and yelled at.

I didn't want to hear that when I came in Alcoholics Anonymous,

but you people let me at the door. You stuck out your door. The door opened for me, he says. Come on back, waiting. We love you.

I want to run home and hide under meet my bed and cry like a baby

because that's what I used to do when I was hurt. I cried like a baby.

But when I was with the boys, I put on that great big front. You know,

second year of sobriety,

I ended up in the hospital again with kidney stones. I was on heavy medication,

like I was OK. I think it was painkillers for them at all or something like that

and I'm feeling sorry for myself laying in the bed. OK, I said maybe if they cut up one of my kidneys I'll be able to drink normal or sociably again. Have you ever heard of Sally from an alcoholic? After me being in a mental institution, hospital and jail, I want to drink Norma. By this time I got a sponsor and I phoned them. They're Wayne their only feeling sorry for yourself.

He was right.

I fired him.

See, the older members of Alcoholics Anonymous and the people that institute that go up to institutions are all in my life.

I owe you my life

coming to me to talk to a crazy person like me and give a little bit of hope

that I do can be accepted in your room

and not run away and hide

or walk away angry.

You know? Third year of sobriety. I used to sit in the meetings all alone in the front row

and it happened one Friday night in Pennante. I used to hear the doors go Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang. Then my future brother-in-law, the one I was going to kill and punch out,

walking with my sister. My younger brother coming the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous.

The one that found me.

Your mother, Brother Andrew,

he committed those of A2.

Krishna wanted to kill him with his phone.

I wanted to meet him to death with a rock.

That's what jealousy and anger and hate does through a family.

That's what Blues was doing to me.

I wanted to strangle and kill my mother so many times.

What's your sobriety? My dad took a stroke. He spent 2 1/2 years in a hospital.

He never did recover,

but on my 4th year of sobriety,

I made amends to my father because of you people. I put my arms around him like that and I said God remember I was sick and I was drunk. I was crazy. I tried to make a fool out of you that I'm sorry and I love you. That was the last time I seen him. He died a couple of days before before Christmas,

and I was crushed because I grew to love my father because of Alcoholics Anonymous

and your 12 steps in your traditions and your concepts and being active in Alcoholics Anonymous one day at a time for yourself.

They told me to get active early into bride and I did. I started to argue with everybody.

I used to go to those discussion meetings

following anger, follow hate. What a fear. I want to walk in here with a knife or a bat and clean house because you people were telling me the truth.

You molded me.

You molded me piece by piece. You have talked me apart and like a puzzle, you have put me back to life.

I start to like win. I'm starting to like Alcoholics Anonymous. The benefits of hey, I couldn't believe

wow, I'm starting to gain where my respect back on Christian Island on the reserve.

I couldn't believe it.

Five years of sobriety. I used to hitchhike to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and take taxis and walk to meetings as I remember the older member saying you'll go to any length to achieve sobriety. And I remember walking three miles on ice in the winter time to go to meeting and hitchhike.

The Lord still coming back to me about being grateful.

It's just not a word with me.

I love the Alcoholics Anonymous.

Five years of sobriety, another five year medallion. My mother was there. I made amends to her.

I gave her a dozen of roasted.

She's always been my friend.

I made amends to my mom that night.

She's gone blind and I look at her face

at our time, seeing that word.

And my mother, six years, she got gangrene. She got her late

amputated. She was on a dialysis kidney machine. Her heart stopped two times.

You people and Alcoholics Anonymous have never left.

We have always been there when I buried my mother and I buried my father.

My Gruden loved my parents.

I grew to love my sisters and brothers by working these 12 steps and these traditions in my life, one day at a time.

My last lung was made at 10/19/80, migrate is May 11th 1980 and I haven't had a drink since. I don't want one because I know I can't handle it. Why should I fool myself? Today

I started to reap the benefits of Alcoholics Anonymous. I bought a brand new motorcycle. I was I went out to British Columbia. I spoke out in Alkali Lake in British Columbia for native people, 95% of our silver today through Alcoholics Anonymous. What an honor for me. I remember I couldn't even leave Midland or Pantang unless the cops were taking me someplace.

Well, I was running away. And I remember one time when I was drunk, I got fixed up by one of those funny people.

I was hitchhiking.

I passed out in the front seat. I remember him grabbing my leg. I bailed out. OK,

so be careful what you pick up drunk or silver.

I'm not talking about role A better, you know,

no. Oh,

it was hard in the beginning.

I was fun. I start to be liking going places. I start going to conferences and sending different meetings across Ontario and Canada. I went out to, I've been down to Nashville, TN, Ohio, Detroit, Kentucky. I drove my motorcycle out to the East Coast. I went to a meeting in Corner Brook, NL. They talked a little bit funny there, but I like them, you know,

they're all right, you know, they're friendly. You know, they stuck out their hand. They made me feel welcome. OK.

I met a lot of Americans and Alcoholics Anonymous. I'd like to thank the people from Syracuse, NY, the people I see in Toronto conference and the people from Rochester. I got little buddy sitting here in the front row. He needs meeting. It's nice to see him here. I see him here every year. It's conference in Toronto.

Good to see you.

Yeah, I really love my sisters and brothers. I gave my I was one of my best man at our wedding.

I'm an uncle today. I used to hate kids because I came from a big, I love children today and I love babies.

You know,

19, three years ago, I think it was,

I went to California. I've been to Denver, Co on my motorcycle on the Torino, Montana, Oregon, Washington. I spoke in Spokane, WA, Yellowstone, Yellowstone National Park. I was there when it burnt down, but it wasn't me that started it. I want to clear that up. I want to clear that up.

Fires used to excite me.

Iron Maniac or something.

Then a year after that, I go about the Fairbanks, AK, White Horse and Yukon. I attended anytime I travel, when I'm on holiday,

you know, I attended a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous because that's where I belong. I don't belong with my drinking buddies.

I don't belong in the hotels drinking Coke and ginger ale, doing some wishful thinking.

I don't play games with my sobriety. In fact, I don't hang around with people and Alcoholics Anonymous that smoke up or that snort, because I take my sobriety in my life very seriously today. Because I love me.

Well, unbelievably,

and last few years ago I was upping Hudson Bay, Change Bay

because of you people. I own out to you.

You've given so much. I have received so, so much. And if I can help maybe one person out here today out in the audience, just maybe one person that you don't have to become like Wayne Lee, come on, or end up like Wayne Nick Simon. I think I've done our job and that committee found their job.

I'm no longer alone.

You know what happened to me. Be able to speak here

through the rain. I drove my motorcycle

flat right to the parents,

you know.

I've been asked the many benefits of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have a lot of beautiful friends today in AAI. Get a lot of strange phone calls in my

Hwy. 490. Where's that? You know

because of you people

to be off the earth to speak at your banquet. What an honor.

You know what?

I've been asked to be the banquet speaker in Las Vegas, NV in October the 10th for the Native Conference. Because of you people,

the new people,

one more little benefit.

I am a Big Brother today to a handicapped child that was actually abused and the parents trust me with that young guy today.

He loves me and he tells me it's nice to be told

or somebody tells you that they care and they love you.

See that young guy? He looks up to me. All my life

I was nothing but a dirty union and dirty drunk

as what people used to say.

This young guy looks up to me and he loves me.

In all my life I've been put down.

That's going to happen today

because of Alcoholics Anonymous.

My mother thanks you. My brothers and sisters thank you. My father thanked you. I think the whole tribe from Christian Island. Thank you.

Thank you very, very much. From the bottom of my heart, I love you.