Al M. from Hollywood speaking in Berkeley in Oct 1963

And now Fuzzy PZ reason is done.

We have as our speaker tonight landed. I have had the privilege of meeting before

and has come up here from Hollywood to speak to us tonight and I know we're all in for a treat. So without any further ado, like to introduce Al M of Hollywood.

Hello everybody. My name is Al M

and I'm an alcoholic. And thanks for that lab, John.

Did you hear that? He says that loud.

That's wonderful.

While the man walked into the bar room he walked up to the bartender

and his had his arm up in there like this. He says the bartender give me a double and that bartender looked at his arm and he says my goodness man where'd you get it? He says I had a shot off Don Blom in the last war. So the bartender says have a couple on the House. He had a couple on the House and walked out. About an hour later another fella come in he switched up like this. This is bartender, give me a double.

Bartender looked at his arm and he says, my goodness, man, where did you get it?

He says in Guadalcanal in the last war, says have a couple on the House. So he has a couple on the House and walks out. Everything's fine. About two hours later, another guy walks in. He's got them both up like this.

Mark Anderson says what can I do for you? He says give me a double. He says, my goodness man, how did there? Where did you get it? He says heart chapter and Marks ended a hell of a fit

that just came out down below and I thought maybe you hadn't heard it yet. You see.

Well, I know we have a lot of people here tonight for from the outside and not Alcoholics. So they're here to find out, possibly for a brother or a sister or a mother or a father or a uncle, you know,

and how many of you came to an AAA meeting on account of someone else, you know?

But I think it's very good that we get down to basic Alcoholics Anonymous and alcoholism and talk about a few things that possibly they don't know that we know. Oh, we think we know anyway, you know,

did you ever talk to an AA? He's been around six months. He knows everything

and he's around six years and he doesn't know anything, admits it,

but that's the way we all are. It's wonderful we found something. Anyway,

I would like to say a few words about things that we have learned in Alcoholics Anonymous. We don't all agree, of course.

That makes that makes this so wonderful. We can argue. You don't argue and argue.

In fact, I'll ever forget when I first gave it away, there were very few of us and some of the stand up and say now God will do this for you. And somebody jump up and say now we're back in church again. And the big argument would start, you see,

somebody says, let's take a collection and somebody say, now what is this a racket for money? And that's the way it used to be. Now we got and money, we talk right out and just bring it right out in the open, you know, and don't try to hide it.

But anyway, we find out that alcoholism is definitely a disease. It's as much of A disease as cancer, heart trouble or anything else that you can name it as a killer.

The statistics say, and there are different statistics that it is the second worst killer. Another statistic comes out and says it's the third worst killer. Another statistic says it's the fourth worst killer. But we know it's a killer and it causes many, many other diseases. It is the basic reason we have many other diseases. It breaks us down. That is especially for an alcoholic. We find that the disease of alcoholism is made-up of two parts, an allergy, the body coupled with an obsession of the mind.

And I am amazed how many of us just slur over the fact that we have a physical adage.

Some explain it, that some people have an allergy, for instance, for cucumbers, they can't eat cucumbers, they get sick.

Other people can't eat strawberries, they break out all the way. And they never, never get rid of these allergies. But these are very minor. You know, they should have the allergy of alcoholism. That's the allergy. This is the bandage. But it is so, it is so stated. And this is the theory that I believe in, and I think it's my privilege and I've heard it from other,

from a couple eminent doctors, that 4% of the people in the world are or will become alcoholic before they die if they drink alcohol to any degree at all. They also follow this up with the fact that it isn't the amount of booze that we drink that causes the disease, it's how the stuff effects us. How are we set up physically for this alcohol

now? Many of us believed, and I did when I first came into AAA, that I would have had to drink for 15 or 20 years to be a qualified alcoholic.

And then the kids started to coming in, kids as young as 30 years old, you know, ah, we look at him. So you couldn't have not enough to become an alcoholic. Go back and qualify yourself, you know.

And then I brought a guy in, it was 29 years old. And when he got through telling his story, why they says, well, I guess you you're an exception to the rule. We'll take you in.

But it has come to pass that it isn't the amount of booze that you drink. It causes the disease. It's how the stuff affects you that's the important, that's the important thing. Oh, I suppose that a person can become allergic to alcohol by drinking gallons of alcohol over a period. But the the good doctors say that that isn't the important thing. We're set up very similar to diabetes. Diabetics of 4% of the people in the world are will become diabetics before they die, not because of the excess use of sugar, but physically they're set up that they can't catalyze or burn up their sugar like so-called normal people.

And the same thing exactly is true of an alcoholic. Now, it is also true that there are some people who are born alcoholic, but these are the exceptions to the rule. I suppose you have heard of a meeting, Some guy gets up and says from the time I took a couple drinks, I went on a Bender, I was drunk for three days, I had blackouts, I didn't remember what I did and so forth. Well, this is a man who is a born or a woman who is a born alcoholic,

but most of us are not affected that way. And also you can become an alcoholic at any age. I have an old friend down in Los Angeles who came into a A at the age of 69. He said he wasn't an alcoholic till he was 65. The old devil is damn near 90 now

and he still go, still sober. So you see these things happen and it also happens on the physical side of the disease. It says in our book, and you who are not members of a a, we have a book called Alcoholics Anonymous. And it says in the book, once we have crossed the line from being a normal drinker into the realm of being an alcoholic, there is never any turning back.

We are dead. We are through, we were finished. We will never be able to drink without having trouble again. And I believe definitely in my own mind and many other along with me is the fact that we have crossed that line physically. And to me, this is where the disease starts. Now I know that you are like me without a doubt, and you went along and you drank and you would cross this line. You didn't notice this very slight, you don't realize it, but pretty soon you didn't remember just exactly how you drove home last night. So you go to the window, you look down to see if your car's out,

ha ha ha. Then the next thing, you can't remember much of where you were, so you wonder, who did I run over? So you get dressed real fast and shake it like a leaf and go down without tying your shoes because you can't. And you look at the bumper on your car to see if there's any blood on it. You know,

it's very funny now, but it was very successful.

Anyway, this thing goes on and on, and it gets worse and worse, and we become very highly sensitive. We become very fearful. Little things happen to us. We have that wonderful ability to magnify nothing into something. We become emotionally unstable. And I mean, it gets to the point where the disease practically is emotional instability to the point that is actually physical pain. And I know you have gone through the same thing that I have.

And then, you know, you say I feel so good today. I'm at the top of the world. Everything is going fine. I made a few bucks. Everybody is happy,

the world is mine and maybe a close friend or maybe if you have a wife. But then, you know, they'll say, lookout, you're heading for a dog. What do you mean I'm heading for a drunk? Why in the world is my oyster? Everything is fine. And then somebody says something that you don't like very well. And then you go to bed at night and you say, what that guy? Well, what is this business? Why did you know? And you start building it and you start magnifying and magnifying. All Alcoholics are the same in this respect and to the point until you get yourself into a great big emotional tizzy where it's actually physical pain. And you fight this for a few days

full well. If you ever take another drink, you're going on a Bender and you know it. And finally you go to the bar and you say what's the use? I'm suffering, I can't stand it, I can't sleep, I'm all upset. So you have a drink and you're on your way again, knowing full well when you take that first drink that you're going to walk through hell again before you're on earth and you don't know whether you're going to get back in that. Now this disease is a physical allergy coupled with an obsession of the mind to the point that you can't do anything about it. And there are obsessions, and there are obsessions, and there are

sessions, and most obsessions that we have are harmless obsessions. And then there are the harmful obsessions. And I think I'll go into this because we got a lot of time. I'll be here at 11:30 anyway,

May and Buzz says he'd hold up the dance till I get through it,

but I just didn't come up here to just to talk an hour all this way. I figured a couple 2-3 hours would be alright. You see, I may never be invited again at all today

and we're here to sell a A anyway, aren't we? Did you hear the story about over? Salam, I have to be a salesman now. I used to be a musician an alleged I fooled him for 40 years anyway. But you hear the story about selling and over selling.

This gal is Irish gal was a beautiful gal as she was a Roman Catholic and she fell in love with a Jewish boy, AB In fact, they had been raised together and they were wonderful friends and all at once when they became of age, they fell in love with another one another. And this gal started going with 80 and her mother says, look, 80 is a wonderful boy and I love him and I think he's great.

But you cannot marry 80. He has to become a Catholic. She says, don't worry, mother, I'll stomach, I'll stomach. Well over the over the weeks and the months this went on and she kept saying, I'll tell him she's going out with 80. Finally they become engaged and she got 80 to take instructions from the priest. And the mother would say, you remember that? Don't worry, I'm selling. Maybe he's taking instructions now. I'm selling maybe. And they became engaged. And then one night she comes home and she gets all fixed up, real beautiful with the finest clothes and fixed herself all

good. And she went to her mother, says what's going on tonight? You're getting all fussed up and you're so happy. She says we're going to set a wedding date. She said, well, you remember what I told you, don't worry, I'm selling 80, I'm selling 80. So she went out and she came back about an hour later. She was crying like a heart would break. And the mother says, what's the matter? She says I oversold Amy. Well, how could you oversold AB? She says 80 not only decided to become a Catholic, he's going to be a priest.

And we do that in a once in a while, you know,

tell them about everything that's going to happen. And then it does it. They just get sober, you know,

Said My wife didn't come back to me. I didn't get my job back, you know,

which is the way it's supposed to be. But there are obsessions and there are obsessions. There's a harmless obsession and a harmful obsession.

All of us have little harmless obsessions and I got to thinking about this and I realized that there are certain things that I do every day and I wouldn't change them for the world. A little obsession and I don't hurt anybody and and I like them. I found out because I am right-handed. When I go to bed at night, I always take my left shoe off first. When I get up in the morning, I put my left shoe on 1st. The same thing with my socks and I says how long have I been doing this? A million years and I wouldn't change this routine for the world. The roof might fall in on me or something might happen, you see. So here's

harmless obsession. I have a friend. When he walks down the street, he touches every telephone post. As he goes by up there, a telephone post, he misses one back here block. He runs back and touches it. Now, that doesn't hurt anybody, you see. He's just a little Ding a Ling, but that's all right.

Are there. And I have a friend that I used to work with in in the middle 20s when we were jazz band Johns. In fact, we worked at the lowest Warfield over here in 1926 if you want to know in San Francisco. Anyway, we go to bed at night, whether we were drunk or sober. He'd touch anything on top of the dresser once. And I finally says, baby, what do you do that for? He says, they ain't hurt you and it's doing a lot of good. Let's never bring this up again.

So you see everybody's a little dingy

upon a normal person, yet everybody and then there's a harmful obsessions like the obsessions of kleptomaniacs. People who steal have a lot of dull doesn't make a bit of difference. They can't help themselves. But steal in a little town that I lived in as a life of of the most prominent man in town was a kleptomaniac. He had her going to psychiatrists who spent a lot of money on her. She go downtown with $500 in her purse and she'd steal little handkerchiefs and lipsticks in one thing another. He finally gave up and he told the storekeepers, keep track of it,

pay for it if I can't return. Everybody in town knew that she was a kleptomaniac in this little town. Everybody loved her. She did a lot of good with a Red Cross and all these sort of things, but she was just a little dingy on this kleptomaniac business. And she'd steel

our harmful obsession. And then we have the pyromaniacs of people who set fires in spite of themselves. They can't help it. Now, I come from the little university on the hill called the University of Idaho. I send a buck or two up there every year to buy a football player. You know, we win one or two games every three or four years. You know how it is. And

it is bad lately, I'll admit that.

Anyway, they send me to school. The Argonaut. It comes down about twice a year and one year here. About three years ago, there's an article in there about a man,

someone who is setting fires on the campus and they says there must be a pyromaniac running loose here somewhere. And they put out the fires, no harm done. But one Saturday night, someone set fire to the men's dormitory, one of the men's dormitories, and three of the students were burned to death. Now they get seriously brought in the FBI, They checked every students record that came to school. They found one man

who had been in the air car who was a straight A student in engineering. There he was coming to school on his GI Bill of Rights, and here he was at school and had been setting fires on his air base where he was. They gave him psychiatric treatment for one year and released him with an honorable discharge. He went over and tapped him on the shoulder, and he immediately admitted that he had done it. He says, my God, do something for me. I can't help myself. I just can't help myself from doing it. So they put him in prison for life.

But this is a harmful obsession, something that I can't do anything about. Then there's a sex deviant and the next thing comes along is the alcoholic. A harmful obsession beyond our control and a non alcoholic cannot understand.

They can't understand that we cannot or could not help ourselves from reaching for that drink. We had no way to help ourselves to keep from reaching for that drink. Willpower doesn't end into it. We now, since we've been in a realize that we were drunk mentally before we ever reached for that first drink and then we became drunk physically.

I know myself, I have been sober physically for a good many years, but mentally I get a little bit squirreled up. But we find out here's where Alcoholics Anonymous comes in. Of course, we start getting honest with ourselves for a change in our lives and we're able to do something about it. If nothing else, we can call up another AA and talk to them and things sort of disappear, even as up to this day,

Even as up to this day when things get a little bit sticky for me and I get blue about something that maybe I don't know what it's about. And I sit down and I start getting honest with myself again. And we do deviate off in all directions. We'll be alcoholic until we die.

It's very strange how God, in his wondrous ways comes along and says, well, you know what you did to that certain person three days ago? It's been bothering you. All you have to do is start examining your conscience a little bit. You call up this party, apologize, and everything is always just like that. It goes back to that old basic thing and Alcoholics Anonymous

self honesty, which is the basis of the whole thing. We know

I don't like to talk too much about my history of witches. Very corny. This is like all the rest of you drunks, some worse and some better.

Now we're getting people into a that never were in a sanitarium, never in jail. They still have their families, they still have the bank accounts, they still have their job, and they still have a certain amount of respect. Thank God for a A. You see what this education of Alcoholics Anonymous has done for the people they're coming into now. Now before they're absolutely wrecked and ruined and more and more all the time.

But when I came in, which was back in 41,

AA hadn't been along, you see. So we, we went through the ringer, all of us real good.

In fact, I think there was one guy younger than me in, in a, a in Los Angeles when I came in and you'll hear him tomorrow.

I had a friend of mine. He was also a musician who took a cure. This is the aversion treatment. If I wish, I think there should be a law against because they die. They, they, it's, it's terrible. They do to a dog what they, what we do to ourselves. And these aversion treatments, these cures, why they put a man in jail, you know, cruelty to animals. But we're truly a man to man.

Anyway, I call him up. I was on this drunk and I couldn't get off this drunk. I couldn't get drunker and I couldn't get sober. And I tried to drink myself sober and everything is upside down. And so

I call up this friend of mine and I says, you took a cure in your sober. He says sober seven years, but for goodness sake, don't take the cure, It's no good. He says, I'm staying silver on willpower and I might get drunk any day and says just tell me who it was. So he told me and I called him and within a very short time, the man with a white jacket was there. It took me the car off of this place, pure joint alcohol it was called. They checked me all over. And the guy says his heart's fine. And I said, what do you mean my heart's fine? And he says, well, he says, a little rough, you know, And I says, well, if it's going to be rough, let's just forget this whole thing.

Go on. Oh, no, that's all right. You'll make it all right. So they gave me one of those backgrounds that just comes down to here. And they put me to bed. And the man comes in with a tray of all the different kinds of bruises. And he says, take your pick. And I took my pick, and they let me drink all I want. And I got loaded to the gills. And I said, now this is fine. And then they hit me in the chest with that big needle, which I find out later had that chemical in it called apple morphine, which makes you sick whether you've been drinking or not. And I puked until my eyeballs hung out, believe me.

And then they gave me these high, high enemas and I mean high animas repeatedly.

And then they gave me some pills that make you perspire. I say sweat and I just soak right through the mattress

and when I just about to get my breath and getting back here and my head on the pillow again, boom. The booms, the shots, the high enemas, the pills and we go through the same routine. 3 days and three nights. Every four hours I put myself through this ring. When I got out of there, I was as pure as the day I was born.

I was supposed to be cured. Well, any damn food would know that's an old billiard drinker like me. That it wasn't the booze that made me sick of those doggone shots in the chest.

This is all right for the kids, but an old guy like me that knows all about this is crazy. Spending $150.00 foolishly. Well of course within a short time I was back on the GW but it was funny. I got out of there and I had the jitters. Worst night ever. Had him in my life. And I was walking up Hollywood Blvd. and I met another musician friend of mine and I said,

he says, what's the matter? I says I just took a cure. He says, don't take those things, don't take those things. I says never again, never again. Then a friend of mine who was a violinist with Wing King and I worked with, I hate to admit it, but I didn't for three months. One time

I told Wayne I can't work for you going to drive me to drink so I could. This is the way back. But this guy was working for Wayne King and he couldn't stand him either, but he stood him. He stayed drunk all the time. And he was that he was that great violinist that really made Wayne a millionaire. His name was great. I was working at a theater and I walked over to the Aragon Ballroom in Chicago to see the boys in a band who I knew. And Wayne says where can I get a fiddler? I just put one in the nut house

and he used to ride his first fiddler so much. He drove the nuts and they said this was a second one. So I says, well, he says I'm going on the air at 11:00 and I'll pay 50 bucks for somebody to come and work to 45 minute air Show with me. And I said, oh, we got to fiddle over. There's the greatest thing in the world he needs to do. He's got four kids. So I went over and I said to Gregor and see Wayne and Sue as soon as soon as we're through the show he needs a fiddle real bad and he'll pay you 50 bucks.

Grace says lead me to it. So Greg was a real artist and he went over there and he sat in with Wayne and played for him and Wayne lost his mind and gave him double salary to come and work for him. So he went to work for Rain and I warned him. I said he'll drive you to drink. So he did, and the guy drank so much he went nuts.

He went absolutely nuts

and he had an insurance policy whereby he would get $100 a week as long as he was totally disabled. And when he got out of this nut house where he spent a year, he's totally disabled. So he moved to Beverly Hills with his kids and his wife and a wonderful family and he's getting this $100 a week, but he has to prove to the insurance company that he's nuts. Yet you see totally disabled. So he has to report to a psychiatrist, a head shrinker every so often. And he could put on a good show. So he went his head shirker. I'm leading up to something. I mean, this is interesting anyway, to me, I suppose this to you.

So he had to prove that he was still nuts and he'd report to this head shrinker.

So one night I'm out to see Wayne and I'm kind of on the loose. My first wife, the intolerant one, had divorced me.

So I got loaded and I was pretty loaded when I got there and I got a little awkward and I fell over and broke his pianist stool and some stand Have you know how you are and didn't mean to.

And I went out about two weeks later until Greg, I says I'll pay for him. He says don't worry about that. He says, you know, you're, you're a terrible drunk. I said no kidding. And he said yeah. I said yeah, but I'm all food drinking now. He says why? I says I swore off, I took the veil. I'm never going to drink again. I was always quitting. I quit 8,000,000 times and I was a periodical drunk. I was one of the kind of drunks that never ate, never worked, never did nothing but drink when I drank. And then when I got over it and I did nothing but work to try to make up for the stuff that you know how to.

So

I said, well, I'm never going to drink again. I'm all through drinking. You know, I'm sober, I feel good and everything's fine. I'm getting a lot of work. Everything's fine. It's just like that story of the two kids, you know, the one of them says, we pray morning, noon and night in our house. And the other kid says, we just pray at night, my house. And he says, well, why did you just pray at night? He says because we're not scared in the daytime,

and that's the way with us Alcoholics when we were sober, we're never going to drink again anyway, you know, So that was me.

So he said, I think you should see the psychiatrist. His name is so and so, which is a very, very tough name to pronounce. And he was a good psychiatrist because he spoke broken English. You couldn't hardly understand him. And he was all right. So I finally says, OK, I'll get on, see him. I took three treatments and nothing happened. Like all Alcoholics, I wasn't going to drink again anyway. This was foolish. I was just trying to make it up to Greg, you know, and

I lied to him. I I wasn't truthful or honest with him at all.

Of course after I got into AA I found out what the guy was driving at and I found this out in the fourth step, which is nothing more than self psychiatry, let's face it. So nothing happened, 3 treatments and I said this is foolishness. I'm spending money for nothing and nothing happened. It reminds me of the story that was brought up from Texas some time ago about the young man who came from a nice family. It always comes from such a nice family. You know these drunks,

all nice family? Sure we did. And the best people in the world.

So he went to this psychiatrist through the urging of his family, kept right on drinking and finding the psychiatrist became as upset as the drunk.

And he says now he says when you come for your treatment today, he says, we're going to change a whole method. He says we're not going to use the old method. And now he says, John, all I want you to do is be as honest as possible with me. John says, all right, And I says, what would happen to you if I cut off your left ear? And the patient said my hearing would be impaired about 50%. He says, that's right. Now we're getting somewhere. He says, now what would happen to you if I cut off your right ear? And John says, well, I wouldn't be able to see. He says, what? Why wouldn't you be able to see? He says because my hat will fall

over my eyes.

I think that's funnier to help.

I like those silly ones, you know? That's no point. You know,

I we got a lot of time. I ought to tell you, though, I think the crazy,

this guy, this guy was a little piano player. He's about so high and I could just see him now. I like his musician jokes. Anyway, he's bought so high. And he was a terrible drum and he was a fine chatter player, but he couldn't get a job. And he finally got a job out on the edge of town in the piano bar. And he had no dual, no car. So he got himself a room, a little room close by. And he found that if he could walk through a cemetery and take a shortcut, he could get to his room in about 10 minutes from this bar. So he worshiped this bus. He works at this bar for a long time and every night he's loaded to the gills. He follows his path through,

gets home safe, everything fine. One night he's a little little drunker than usual and he starts through the cemetery and lo and behold he loses his way off his path and he's wandering around the cemetery and he fell in a hole. It was dug for a funeral. The next day. Here he is 7 foot down with his tuxedo on and the whole thing. He can't reach the top of the hole. He's screaming like a Comanche all night, stomping around on the bottom of this hole

and nothing happened. With a screaming and screaming nothing happens. Finally about daylight, an old wino come wandering through the cemetery and hears a screaming over here and I want to learn. He looked down and here's a little piano player laying on his back spread eagled out with his tuxedo and collar and everything on down there and he looks down. He says what's the matter down there? The little piano player says Get Me Out of here, I'll freeze the desk, Get Me Out of here. Freezing the desk. The old wino says. Well, no wonder you're freezing to death. You kicked all your dirt off.

I guess we'd better start telling jokes. To hell with the rest of the nation.

I like those little piano player jokes now.

So then I went to my family. My eldest daughter had asthma. This is still when I was married to the employment life and we moved up to to Hungai. It's about 2000 feet altitude and the asthma up there. She was great, relieved. In fact, she still lives there

and

it was very lonesome. In this little town is very rough for a drunk because you know there's another reason to get drunk. It gets so lonesome and you're away from all the rest of musicians and the bars. You're not hanging around the bars of the boys to find out what's cooking at the studios.

So they told me that there was a wonderful Catholic priest down there. How to get acquainted with. So I went down, I got acquainted with this guy. I had been raised a Catholic, but I hadn't been around for 1000 years. And like all drunks, you know, you just, you know, what's that? So you get, so you don't believe in anything. So I got acquainted and his name was Father Dennis Falvey. And from the name, you know that he was from the AL Saad and he still spoke very Irish. And we became very, very dear friends. So Father Pauly and I, I helped him get a, a choir together and got an organist for him and,

and we got a choir going and everything was real nice. I'd disappear for a couple weeks once in a while and I'd come down to his house usually and I'd say, Father lonely a fin. I'm dying. I'd be shaking like a leaf. And you say here your arm abide. Don't spend it all in one place. Never say why don't you pray? Why don't you do this? Why don't you go to never, never give me any bad time at all. It wasn't like most of the Sky products, you know. He knew the story,

knew what was going on and he wasn't a drunken self either. He may be taking nip of wine, but that was off. So

we had been, I had been sober about 3 months and Christmas is coming along and everything is going along very good. And I used to stay sober sometimes as long as three months when I got sovered up. I can make money like crazy, everything is fine. Bought a new car. The kids wanted bicycles and wrist watches, their two daughters for Christmas and we got those hidden away. And Father's going to have high Mass at 8:00 on on Christmas morning. And I'm going to conduct a choir.

And about two days before Christmas, I got a call from one of the studios where I worked all the time. And they said, we're having a big Christmas party. And all you guys have played on here for our pictures. We'd like to have you come down and give us some music, some dance music. And I said, well, what's it all about? Well, it's a Christmas party put on by the studios. We're going to be in stage, so and so and all the food you want to eat for free and all the booze you want to drink for free. And I said, what kind of bruise? I says White Horse Scotch on down, no champagne. I said, well, that's too bad, I'm on the wagon anyway. They said, will you come down? And I said, sure, I'll come down when we'll start, 3:00 to 6:00. I said, OK,

so I told the wife about this and she says the White Horse got yeah, yeah. And I so I'll start out the door with the trommel under my arm. Now I have to hold. We're going to open up presents at 7:00 Christmas Eve.

You know, we do this. We do the damnedest things at the most awkward times. So as I'm going out the door, the wife said don't drink over 3 Scotch and sodas. I says who said I was going to drink 1 Scotch and soda? She says don't drink over three. I know you can. I says who said I was going to drink any? You know damn well that I can't drink one. And the big argument starts and I stomp out of the house. There in a big city, she just wants me to get drunk, that's all. She wants me to ruin everything.

So I drive down a hill and I'm saying, well, she knows me well enough. We've been married for so many years. She knows I can handle three. And I say, well, this is talking to myself. I'm nuts. I won't drink any. Any way. I did my little bit on the stand and I looked over here. Here's all the squares over there eating food,

you know, the fiddlers and people like that, the squares. And over here, over here is all my pals, all the brass men and the drummers and all those guys and an old friend, Joe, I hadn't seen for a long time over at the bar. I walked over and I says, Joe, how are you? He says step up here and wet your beak. Alley says it's all for free. Your own mix, the ice cubes, a whole business.

I said I'm sorry, I'm on the wagon. He says it's a hell of a time to go on a wagon. I said I know it is, but I'm on the way. So then somebody else come up I hadn't seen for finances. I don't care if I do now. When I got out of jail Christmas night, about 9:30,

my car was all wrecked. I was an awful mess in my my lawyer. I was wanting to get here sooner. What were you, Bunny? He says. I was drunk myself, and I had to sober up to come down to get you out of there, to put me in with you.

So anyway, I went down to see the father the next day. I mean, my words don't hurt you fixing stones or break my bones. And the old lady was, you know, the old business, you know,

but I was ready to kill myself. Someone had me a gun. I shot myself when I walked out of that jail door. I mean, I was so disgusted. This was I had let down everybody and and I felt so terrible about it. I didn't know that this was insanity. I didn't know that I was insane when I drank. It was long before a. So I went to the old father and your father says, where were you in jail? And I said, yeah,

but I want to take a pledge. And he says, oh, you can take a pledge if you wanna, but I won't do you any good. And I says, what do you mean it won't do me any good? He says, well, he says, I'm known a couple guys like you, he says, that got sober. But he said most of them just buy drunks. And I says, you know, a couple guys like me that got silver. I says, how? He says, I don't know. But something happened to him where they had a complete change of personalities, a complete change in attitudes. And I said, well, what was it that happened? He says, I don't know. I says, where are they? He says, I don't know where they are. It's gonna happen through the years. He says, sure, the pleasure do the Saturday night

a lot of good, but guys like you nothing. And I says, what's going to happen to me? He says, oh, you'll die a drunk, you'll just die a drunk unless something comes up. It changes your whole thinking process. He says, let me tell you something Al, it's not a sin to drink, but it's a sin to be a glutton. And that's as far as I can take it. And that's as far as any honest man of the clock can take you. It's not a sin to drink, but it's a sin to be a glutton.

So I went on my way and course the the intolerant one divorced me and which was the best thing that ever happened.

He would have been for her. I wouldn't have been a drunk. You know,

the screwy ideas we get. Anyway, I ended up back in Los Angeles and

be perioded on if things get worse and worse and worse and one arts, the leader told me at one of the big studios, he says you know Marinol the most. Oh, this is anonymous, I forgot, he says. He says, you know, the most dependable thing about you is your independability.

He says I write music for you. I write beautiful trombone solo story. And he says if I catch you, just write your plan just like an Angel and the next time you come, you sound like a grade school kid. He says, why don't you get wise to yourself? This guy was a very dear friend of mine. I played with him when he was a lousy third trumpet player, you know, but he was one of the smart guys that didn't drink and he got himself up for he was ahead of the music department of this particular studio making $1500 a week. It was,

it was set me down or what can you do? I mean, I get myself an easy emotional tizzy. There was nothing I could do about it. I finally ended up in the $2.00 a week room. I never hit schedule. I never hopped my horns. I never got down there. I know a lot of musicians that did,

but also I find out that there are no more drunken musicians. There are drunken anybody else. It doesn't make any difference.

Most the musicians nowadays, they have a home and they have a family and they settle down. Except the, you know, the kind of guys lay out there, you know, those kids are the way out in cloud 99. But this was this is the old idea. Everybody had it because you're a musician. You had to be drunk. But that's a fallacy, a big fallacy. So anyway, things got from bad to worse and, and I see the sheriff. You see, I can sit next to a sheriff now. It doesn't bother me at all.