Jimmy, Jack, Chuck, Sally at 23rd Anniversary of NA, August 16, 1975

This time I'd like to introduce Jimmy Cannon, if you would. Please.

No, it's not my music. I'm not going to sing.

My name is Tina Kenya. I'm an addict and an alcoholic.

Everybody comfortable?

Yeah,

I remember the time none of us were comfortable.

I'm not going to talk too much tonight. I never do when I get up here

about the history of the Narcotics Anonymous.

There's one thing however, before I get into anything, I'd like to say

not only a pleasure to be here with so many of you tonight.

Well, there is a nine in this room tonight. We got the 1st and a meeting with me

23 years ago, the longer 23 years ago,

but the first time he's been asked and then they are there

of this time

he's neither that it's an alcoholic

as they call the circumstances that we can't foresee any of those in our time

at a later date

in his life and mine and yours.

He had something to do with carrying the message. His Narcotics Anonymous in areas where you and I couldn't go,

but you and I couldn't be

regarding the message of recovery in Southeast Asia,

in West Europe.

While I mentioned that representing your fellows

when through any of the amnesty houses in Vietnam

arriving covering houses in Western Europe who may have met him then

and I hopefully renew their Clayton's with him.

I like this for a minute to ask my oldest son stand up and take bath.

Not good in a time like this to realize it. We can be together.

We no longer have to be alone,

civilian nation from other people and loneliness and being by ourselves is no longer necessary.

I like something in an apartment

constructing. The first time I read it and I thought it'd be fine to open what I have to say with it very simply says

I rejected by somebody anonymously. So who they were I haven't slightest idea.

The community gentrifies some of the things that AA has stood for and NA has stood for since the beginning

of both our fellowships.

That says I know that I cannot enter. All you feel

so bears a burden of your pain.

I come to ask for what my love can bring,

the strength of caring

if I do in quiet ways.

But on your lonely path,

they may not walk alone.

I think most of us walk that lonely path

for 25 years. They always not only a lonely past as the path to death.

Because Apex did not recover.

Even in AA, addicts did not recover except in rare cases.

Among the reasons that NA

came together by groups now with people 23 1/2 years ago

because we saw the attic getting lost

because I hope

shine to just a brief period of time

and then they were gone.

We feel the spell for this program since it was based on principles would work

when we got together to try to formulate something that hadn't been done before

something that we knew would work

was a help Some members of a A started what we now know is Narcotics Anonymous.

The first seven-year the touch and go many things I could tell you about those years. So here's one takes one of these days you never have the time right now nor so I think it's the right time to win to many of the things that happened.

But then I fluctuated between nothing and something and nothing. Something at the last of seven years because of being a one man rule.

Anytime

we have to start again

in 1959 for the original ideas that we had,

but the traditions were as much apart

for the program as well as the steps for the individual. And through that time we've been growing in numbers and strength.

We had what we used to call

Rabbit meeting

whenever you whether we could trust the Police Department or not.

Although it was true that they kept the words and they did not watch it,

there was no surveillance at any time. But in the beginning, we're not quite sure.

And so this week to meet with Mike Lace, and next week to meet at your place, and next week could meet at his place.

And the newcomers who would come around were always afraid to come in. They were never sure whether they were walking into something or not. So respecting goes for a while. But many funny things also happened

pretty often in Southern California. But many things thank God, and they really started here.

From the way he know it,

I don't think it could have happened anywhere else.

We just refuse to remain hidden. Other groups have started and they all remained ahead.

We realized the beginning of the hide was not recovery.

I'm glad as years go by that we're not ashamed to be what we are

and to take clearly and completely what we're trying to do

and to say what we have accomplished

pleasures into the past. The call is only that we may learn the lessons of the past.

If you don't need the lessons of the past for following the same mistakes again,

and then the future will hold no promise for people like you and I will die again.

I've said many times in the past, there's something I'm going to say again because it seems to bear out what I've always felt about this fellowship.

The whole thing has been a learning experience, both in the individual sense and in the fellowship sense.

I've always been very highly idealistic and I find out many other addicts are too, sometimes to the point of illusion.

I learned many years ago in reading as I do many things

and emotions are deep and strong. When the words that float on the surface like a possum boonie to betray where the anchor is hidden.

And this pole call me please claim claim

my beliefs into what the world called delusion

and many things in the past. He started died again and I have to hang on to the idea

that the dreams worthwhile

that is good. There you could recover and could grow and could go where they were supposed to go to walk like real men and women in the real world.

In the past 15 years in particular, we have seen this happen.

That before, and I'll say one more time, Dream is only half a man

and the fellowship without our vision is A5.

But in NA

combine our dreams amid our vision come true and we can stand up now and be counted

longer. Have to hide.

In fact, I hope that as time goes on

and the picture still proves is right,

we'll be able to grow faster and stronger and wider than you have to be.

And we are growing. We are around the world many times.

Letter this afternoon,

man I never met,

he said Please extended some more booklets right away,

starting another group at Victoria Beach, Colombia.

And our people are looking for help, and they're expecting help in our troops.

Beautiful.

As usual. I'm not going to follow these notes. You know,

I get too serious at times like this because I remember what it used to be like. I also know what it will be

as long as we follow the 12 steps of our program as we know it, and they will be a living thing every day,

and we'll seldom have to go into the past except to advance ourselves.

One particular thing I always mentioned that we learned the hard way is that there are no bosses.

Narcotics Anonymous, there are no big shots here. You must keep it that way.

Not because we will not accept direction so much.

Who will accept directions?

It will not be told what to do. I haven't changed in that regard yet. I will not be told what to do.

I will check for myself and I will make my own decisions and I'll stand on my own 2 feet and I'll stand up in the county that you all are against it

and makes little difference to me. And I'm right, I'm right and I'll speak for it for a second.

I learned in this program to be self reliant. Our people think that's a dirty combination of words.

That's the first program teaches us to be to be soft reliant because we know somewhere comes our power

because each of us has our own higher power as we understand it. But thank God again, you and I have another power that works in our fellowship, and it's the same for all efforts.

Isn't that a beautiful thing? That we can have the best of both worlds

and what we have in each travels is our own definition, our own belief, and a power grading ourselves. Call it God if you will,

but together we have a power

is much greater than all of us. And this is a part of service to another human being

so that we can offer what we know from our experience

to be a reality

and that we have in common. And that is what keeps us together most of the time, regardless of our individual beliefs.

The Cross Network is done in many ways

and some of the best people that I know in the program are those who listen to tools like me. No,

but listen why we talk and they are doing better 12 step work than we are

and most of them are the ones behind the scenes that you don't see. Does it work?

There's a lot of work to be done. A lot of people sitting in this room tonight and doing a lot of work that is unseen,

but that is a special foundation of our program. Anonymity to do something about asking for or looking for or accepting

reward in the normal, usual sense of the word. Yes, we get our rewards in our own way.

Get sobriety. We got Peace of Mind. We get self respect,

but above all

we get back when we give out.

I saw a lot of words that most of us didn't know when they got there. Very simply, it's love,

Jack. I'll leave you some time to talk, but I enjoy listening.

Please send. There's going to be a tape out that tells the story of the beginnings, as I name

if you want to know something about it.

Got it. Tape and listen to it. I don't like to delve into the past in that regard

at a time like this

because I know it's too important.

That's the fun that we're going to have tonight. I don't follow to

the latter part of the 80. I've enjoyed it all the way through and I intend to enjoy the rest of it.

Align what I have to say the same as I always

everything I have to say,

that's about me in a way,

because what I have come to know

by turning 5, how happy is the founding simple thing,

the private stillness of the late afternoon and the cottage silver sack seems to me

across the lonely desert of the sky. 1 Lone bird flight

and a guiding where Lily blooms at night

for something. They were blessed by evening grace and the sweet benediction of the rain upon my face.

I often wondered who has set my cash to learning. Virtual joy found at last.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

perhaps you thought. God bless you.

Thank you, Jimmy. I was asked at the last moment to see this meeting and I do have a small price for doing that.

I'd like to have the opportunity to say a few words. Can you hear me out there?

You know it amazes me when we have the opportunity to get together like this and I lookout at a room like this at you people and realize how many of you you know I've come to know in the time that I've been on the program. I still have a lot of fond memories from our last convention, and this anniversary dinner here will probably

see me through one day at a time until our next convention. I hope that I might see all of you at our next in a convention. I'd like to ask Jack W if he'd come forward, please.

I I'd like to know I'm in that I'd like to. I'd like to ask Sally, and she'd like to.

Well, Clark forgot my name at the last convention when he went to introduce me, and Cliff just called me Jeff W, but I guess it's all right.

I'm Sally. I'm an addict and the alcoholic. You know, it's really a fantastic thing to

to be at this thing tonight and to listen to Jimmy and to see all of the people here. When I first came here,

there was something like three or four meetings a week and I knew everybody on the program and I knew everybody that had it in time. And now I go to a meeting, especially up in the LA area, and I hear people talking at four and five years and I think, well, I don't even know them. And I look around and I don't even know half the people here. And I feel like I have grown up on this program or that the program has grown with me. And it's, it's really a beautiful thing,

you know, like I have, I came here like six years ago

and when I got here, I just really didn't realize I had two constructions of what it was going to be like to be clean and sober. And one of them was that it was going to be awful and really terrible. And that's how I felt most of the time. And the other one that was going to be really, really wonderful and really fantastic and really far out all the time. And as I have grown, I come to realize it. It's it's really good most of the time. And sometimes it's really fantastic and sometimes

really bad. And when I talk, I talk a lot about the bad times because I don't identify at all when people get up here and they say that they have a lot of trouble handling success or handling the good times because I don't, you know, I really don't. It's, it's the bad times that I really, really have trouble with. And before I got here, I had various and Sunday periods of sobriety and cleanliness that as soon as as long as things

my way that instead of things, things went bad, I used again. And so when I came here, like,

I didn't know how to handle the bad time. And the program gave me a set of tools to work with those. And it gave me some people I could go to. And the first three years I was on this program, like I was really locked inside myself. I was really, really closed up. And so I worked the steps and I wrote inventories and I talked to people most of the time only when I really, really had to. And it's been really nice because the last three years

that I get on my last three years,

like I have opened up a lot and I can go to people and I can say, hey, this is the way I feel. And it's really bad. And it's, it's really, really fantastic for me to be able to do that because I never was before, you know, like I, I, when Jenny talked about being lonely and being isolated and being alienated, that's how I felt all my life. And when I find out, when I really open up, everybody else feels that way too, you know, And it's really amazing or feels that way sometimes. And it's really.

Have to be able to share things with other people or to be able to share the good times. And I think it's not good. Better because I can share them and the bad times are not as bad because I have learned how to share them. I what I haven't had any the strength or the hope or the courage to go on other people have given me. I have borrowed strength and hope and faith in this program and from the people on it.

I'm not going to take up a whole lot of time because

I think Jack wants the cost, but

and he, he can talk a lot longer than I can. You really can. But like I, I have a six year birthday coming up in about 3 weeks and I look forward to like a lifetime of growth on this program. Thank you.

Thank you, Sally.

Yeah, it sure would be easy to fire off about a number three pitch right now.

But at this time, I'd like to call Jack W if you would please.

Hi, my name is Jack Whaling. I'm a GoDaddy. What I really deserve right now is for as I walk up here, for everybody to get up and walk outside

because Chuck Skinner says that. He says that. Thank goodness

we get what we get on this program instead of what we deserve. There's only one person in the world who like to talk more than I do, and that's my mom. At my 13th birthday, I was leading the meeting and and I was saying something had happened. You know, when I when when I was using. And she jumped up out and he says, no, no, it wasn't like that. And she started said, mom, you can't talk. Oh, well, yeah, but I want to correct you. And she started walking up. I said no, mom, you can't talk.

I like, I like when Jimmy talking about families, introducing his son because I had a short time in the program. My daughter, who was, who was 19 Friday, she was 5 then,

and I was going to a meeting and I had just six or seven months on the program. And she says, where you going, Daddy? And I said, oh, I'm going over to the clubhouse. She says, how come I said, oh, to see some friends of mine. And she thought about a little while and she says, Daddy, you used to never have any friends.

And I said,

you know why I go to these meetings, she says.

I said fuck off,

tell the truth.

And I've been trying to do it man. For 14 years there's been a bitch,

and I've only succeeded enough and just just saying, just staying clean, that's all. I found out that being clean is the easiest part of this program. Yeah, you know it. It really is. I would have liked to heard slip too, because Cook give us a good talk, probably the dullest talking Narcotics Anonymous. But I've never heard anybody who talked who covers more and tells you exactly what to do.

Be complete will come completely identify you completely tell you what to do

and in a very dull, monotone kind of way. But after you hear a clip, you know exactly what to do. And and I say a lot of words and you know, really there's two kinds of people in this program. It's just like I learned in the Poly sci class. There's a there's two kinds of leaders that's a symbolic leader and administrative leader. Now an administrative leader is like Bob Barrett and, and Cliff and, and a whole lot of people who really worked hard and Ralph, who really worked hard on

who really get the things done, who keep the program going. Yet there would be no program before if it weren't for people like that. And then there's a symbolic people who come around with with hearts and flowers and say, oh, it's wonderful, it's great and do this and do that and work the steps.

The kind of right. It's kind of like the king of England and the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister does all the work,

but the King gets all the glory. Will you see I kind of like being the King

of an empty headed dude and we just all I have to do is stay sober and and have and buy a new suit about it for four or five years. Don't have to do anything else. You know, I don't have to pick up coffee cup

S or fight with a cup here or tell the band to quit rehearsing and all that. All I have to do is just show up, you know, and say, my name is Jack Whaley. And I used to use heroin and morphine and used to drink a 8K and and, and and, and used to drop a lot of pills

and used to be shared all the time.

And now I come here and I'm just wonderful.

I can't. I come to the program. And I walked in the door and the skies burst open. I saw these cold golden steps coming down from heaven. And I've been walking up them a step at a time for 14 years. And it's been grand folk come and join my hand. That sounds like some of the ship and Bill Wilson talked about,

and here, here, here, here. He was great with those phrases. You know, I read the big book now and I believe it. It's all true, but it's so corny I can't believe it.

I mean, it was really corny when I read it, and it's even worse now. You know, as we crud the road of happy destiny

now, he said. I was trucking down the road of life feeling like a piece of shit.

We feel like we're on the Broad highway. Yeah, Bill Wilson could sure turn some phrases.

If you don't know that Narcotics Anonymous is good, then you're really some kind of trick within 12/15 and come here tonight

if you don't know it already. So I was going to get up here and tell you that narcotics synonymous is really neat. It's really good. But Hill, if you don't know this and you spent that kind of money and got all dressed up crazy to let Mexicans in here tonight,

I thought this is a high class flight

now. What the hell? Richard's all right. Patient's got a good looking girlfriend.

Yeah.

Narcotics Anonymous. You know, I went to Narcotics Anonymous when I first,

when I first, when I first started staying sober, I went to Alcoholics Anonymous first.

And I would go out there and there would be three people out of Moorpark, Jimmy Cannon, and there be two loaded dope themes. And he'd be told, it's all right, you're going to make it. And next week there'll be two more. And he'd be telling the same thing. And you know, I went to Narcotics Anonymous for a long time not to get anything but to carry the message.

Ego, fantastic ego. People would say, why are you going? Where those those in a meeting? I said, well, they need me there because it's really weak,

but I gotta found out if it's true. They really didn't need me.

Somebody told me, Myrtle Snyder told me, that when you walk in that door and you sit down in a chair in a meeting, that from then on that's your chair.

Don't make any difference. If you go out and get voted, that's still your chair. Nobody can fill it.

Nobody can take the place to Karen or Danny Trejo or Sarah. Nobody can take the place of any of you people.

We're all here, man. You know, I mean, I have to believe this. I have to believe that, that we're really all here because we're supposed to be here. Because I see people who never get an opportunity to ever try this program and even to come. I see people who come here and they don't stay here long enough to listen. People say, how come you talk so loud? I tell them because I want people to hear me,

'cause I come and I couldn't hear. I had this. I had this thing going on in my head all the time.

You know the thing I had ever since I was a little kid. Then your fuck up, you know all the time your fuck up

saying you're no good. Then you're rotten, saying God I'm scared. Saying that, you know, I'm ugly and I'm skinny and I'm funny and I'm weird

and I come to this. I come to this beautiful program. You people told me the same thing.

After 14 years, I've come to believe all these things and I know them to be true now. And I love it

because I really do. You see, because I'd rather stand up here and have you people 12 foot 8, Jimmy, who really set up, man, you people were 12 steps of me. I have to have you people to stay sober. I mean, you know, if if they pass, if they pass a new tradition in Narcotics Anonymous and said nobody will listen to Jack Whaley anymore. He can go to meetings, but he can't talk.

You know, he'd be all over

it. Really would

Hey,

I truly believe that if you get up men and you show your ass and you get up and you commit yourself

and you say my name is Joe Blow and I got a problem

that you got a better chance. And if you hide in the back of the room

because I think most of us hit all our life. I know I hit all my life. You know, I know why we didn't. But you know, I feel bad about not hearing the steps read. I know why we didn't see. I feel bad about this. I've done a lot of meanings. I've got a meetings all over the United States and they usually don't read me. I like to hear the steps read. You see, I like the steps.

Yeah. You know, I'm an atheist. Yeah, that's right. You know, But I like. Yeah, because I work for Steph,

because I've said many times I can turn that electricity, that switch on and off, and I don't have to believe in electricity. It still goes on and off. Power is still there. So I like to step. I like remembering that I'm powerless over my addiction. My life is unmanageable

but I had to come to believe, you know, a par greater me can be serving the sanity

and I had to turn my life and will over to power greater than myself. And that's damn hard to do when you don't believe in anything. It still is.

And then, you know, I like to remember about writing inventory. I keep on trading with Bob Barrett, but his inventories look just like mine.

I can't understand it, you know, like he's old and ugly and I'm dashing him debonair. But our inventory looks look the same

now. 6 steps is a bitch. You know, it really is becoming ready to get rid of, you know, character defects. I like most of mine, I really do. They have become entrenched within me.

I really like them, except when it hurts real bad. Now Calvin hurts you. I mean, when it hurts me really bad,

the making a man's a man's is a bitch, you know, It really is, you know, You know, these stuff don't get any easier as as the years go by, they don't get easier. There's still a humbling process

and I believe this is the reason why even though we have grown so big, it's hard for me to comprehend how big we have grown. That's the reason why people come to a thousands come to us and you know, doesn't say.

It's because the steps are so difficult. They really are. Unless you have no other way to go. Honey, who wants to go tell somebody I was bad, I was wrong. It wasn't your fault. It was my fault.

So I haven't told my mom that. That was after 10 years. I had on my 10 year birthday she come to a meeting, the first meeting she'd been to in the 10 years and she says, you know, I think you're going to be all right now.

I didn't give her much 'cause

yeah. And we got a hell of a thing going. Now, those pretty shirts, that where she makes them for me,

is that a hell of a thing going? This, this, this disease that we have, It would be a disease no matter what it is. You know, if you call it Cliff or Clap, if you've got it, you've got it. This disease we have this drug addiction, It doesn't just affect the person, it affects the person the worst, I believe, but it affects everybody around us. It hurts everybody around us. It destroys everybody around us. It's like a contagious thing.

And you know what? So is this program

because please radiate from us now? Good things. I mean,

I got people to like me, not because I'm a miracle, you know, I am a miracle of Narcotics Anonymous. You know, I used to use a lot, a lot of drugs and go to jail and puke on my shoes. A real miracle.

But you know, people like me just for me.

They like me because, you know, I live in a town and I have a little business and I play a few sports. But they really like me because of you.

Yeah. Because you people sitting out there,

because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Jimmy. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the people who come after Jimmy.

I've got one more day today. You know,

I decided not to give a big, great, big talk tonight because I just really feel good. And you know, why fuck up a good thing? If it works, why fix it? I, I really feel good. But you know, there's somebody here and we got, we got about 1314 minutes left. And I really would like to hear Chuck Skinner talk, you know, about 10 minutes or so. Thank you.

Thank you, John.

Chuck, if you want please

fine tech. I'm addicts, an alcoholic.

My God, Jack's getting better.

23 years,

pretty good

progress is made, you know, we're not hiding down under a goddamn 1st St. bridge anymore. We're up.

Can you imagine 12:50

Well, we were 12 years ago. You couldn't got 1250 out of the whole roof, let alone after this many people.

That's really beautiful.

Stuck around. And you know, every once in a while I get get discouraged and say, oh hell, we're not making any progress. And then something like this comes up and, you know,

you see it and you see the workers, you know, like Jack and I know how to work. We get more credit for doing more things and we do less than anybody on the program.

You should be the same way in AAI used to be as a director, you know, I get everybody to do everything and I'd take all the credit. I like that.

But here, you know over a period of time we've gotten people who's coming in and especially in the last five years, people who have gotten on to the program and into the program who have carried these principles of the program into it. And you see the results that we got over 100 and some people here tonight to pay 1250 ahead. And I got that progress.

I've always been grateful that I've got what I've got instead of having what I deserve. I'm still that way today.

I think this program, for me anyhow, is the best deal world

when I was in the joint. I like that too for one deal and here I get 3 for one. I don't even have to ask for it.

I don't have some fun shortchanging me,

no, it's just I get. I get 3 for one with with no problem

every once in a while and I think this is the thing that we forget about. It is the gratitude.

I like to remember what I used to be like, and that's why I go back into penitentiary.

You know, every once in a while I get to fist and moaning about

at today, and I like to remember

the $3 a month I used to get up in San Clinton.

And when I get feeling real bad about it, why, you know,

I can be grateful again. That's right. I like to go back to the penitentiary just so I can remember that and remain grateful enough that I'll put the principles of this program enough to stay sober again one day at a time and clean one day at a time. You know, it's been over 14 years since it's been necessary that I take a drink to take pills, smoke any single grass, if any carbon tap, drink any athlete's foot lotion, you know,

chef expository up my rear. You know, whatever, go to jail. The penitentiary's messed. When I came here in the 1st place is 'cause man, I was, I was burned up 37 years old and that's old for dope being out on the street.

And I'll tell you this, that hadn't been for the jail from penitentiaries, I wouldn't have been out there that long. I used to get a reprieve, not every time and get a good run going wise man, but had me in his pocket again

so I know I was never arrested. I was rescued many times

and come here and find a way that I don't have to go back into that anymore. Don't have. There hasn't been any tears in my family over me in 14 years.

You know you're going to make some mistakes on this program and guarantee you that if you're human. I've had many grave emotional mental disorders since I've been here and they were already involved with sex and money.

Being emotionally immature, I fell in love with everybody. I went to bed with

Jack. And I know a guy who used to tell us that, you know, when you reach emotional maturity is whenever you can go to bed with a girl and say thank you ma'am and still be friends. Yet after 14 years, I'm still still so emotionally immature to fall in love with my hand, you know?

But I don't have to get drunk or loaded over.

I didn't know it was past birthday. I want to congratulate him on his year and I want to thank Jack for letting me have this few minutes because I like to talk to thank you,

Sir.